All language subtitles for The Golden Palace s01e10 Marriage on the Rocks, with a Twist
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Thank you for being a friend.
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00:00:05,820 --> 00:00:08,980
Travel down the road and back again.
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that we got Bill and Milton to do their
live radio broadcast from our hotel.
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00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,710
It's going to give us so much publicity.
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And Lord knows, with business as slow as
it's been, we made it.
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There it is. How's it look? Oh, it looks
just fine, just fine. Back to the
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kitchen now.
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What, that's it?
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No thanks, no gratitude?
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You mean to get me all hot and sweaty,
work me like crazy, and then send me
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away?
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Man, I feel like one of your dates.
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But I guess you'll want to run back to
the Arco station and brag to all your
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buddies.
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No, good, good. I can't wait to see you
too, Mom.
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Okay, yeah, this is great.
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This is terrible.
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My parents are coming to see me, and I
think my dad has some bad news to tell
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me. Why, what makes you think so?
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Well, he called me Roley.
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So? So the last time he called me Roley,
he told me I'd been cut from the Little
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League team.
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How come the coach didn't tell you? He
was the coach.
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00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,800
Oh, what do you think it is this time?
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Taffy's dead.
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Who's Taffy? Our dog.
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Your mother and dad would fly all the
way down here just to tell you a dog
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It wasn't just a dog, Blanche.
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It was a part of our family. We had her
for over 14 years.
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So what do you think she died of?
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She was a smoker, Rose.
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Old age. I just said we had her for over
14 years.
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Sarcasm, Rolly?
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Maybe that's why Daddy didn't want you
on the team.
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Okay, there you go.
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Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank
you very much. Hi, guys. Hi. Hi. My
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Chewy. Oh, how are you doing? This is
Sophia.
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Hi, Sophia.
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How are you? Nice to meet you.
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00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:04,380
You guys are the funniest thing I ever
heard, and I always wondered why you're
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not on TV.
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Although, now I know.
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Hey, are you going to do one of your
practical jokes for incredibly stupid
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people? I just love that bit. No, we
haven't done that in a long time. As a
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matter of fact, the last time we did
that stunt, Milt here had a little
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Yeah, according to Bill here, some
tranquilizers don't work on some
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We pulled them off you, didn't we?
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You tied live chickens to my feet.
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It was funny, wasn't it? I lost a toe.
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We found it.
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00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:51,000
It's a shame you don't do those jokes
anymore because I know the perfect
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for your show tonight.
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Oh, really? Yeah, but the stuff we did
was so outrageous.
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We could do the Penn and Teller bit,
though.
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Are you sure this person is stupid?
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enough to fall for one of our practical
jokes?
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You're going to have to trust me on this
one.
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Roland,
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the hotel is beautiful.
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Son, I'm impressed.
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Well, uh... I've tried to create an
atmosphere of class and dignity. I hope
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succeeded. Hold that elevator, please.
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No, no, no, no!
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Oh.
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Shouldn't you call the owners and tell
them there's a crazy woman loose in the
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hotel?
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00:04:50,340 --> 00:04:53,620
Well, you know, actually, that is one of
the... You want to go ahead and make
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that call?
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First show us to our rooms. We want to
get cleaned up before we eat.
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Okay, how long are we going to do this?
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00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:01,630
Do what?
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00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:04,370
Act like there's nothing wrong. You guys
came down here to tell me some bad
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00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:05,370
news. What is it?
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I'm sorry, son.
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00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:10,950
We didn't want to break this to you over
the phone. Just go ahead, Pop. I have a
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feeling I know what this is already.
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00:05:12,510 --> 00:05:15,810
Now, Roland, promise you won't take this
too hard. You get so easily upset.
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00:05:16,030 --> 00:05:19,970
Mom, look, stop treating me like a
child. I'm a mature adult. Just say it.
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Your mother and I have decided to get a
divorce.
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You and Mommy are going to do what?
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this comes as a shock to you, honey, but
the marriage has been over for years
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and we feel it's time to stop
pretending.
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Pretending? Are you crazy? You two need
each other. Roland, your mother and I
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have been unhappy for at least 20 years.
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20 years?
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Yes. You two have been unhappy for 20
years of your life? I'm afraid so.
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So what's another 20?
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Roly. No, no, no. Don't Roly me.
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You just blurted this out. This is
really bad news. You didn't prepare me
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anything, Pop.
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You didn't even say sit down, son.
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God, I thought you came down here to
tell me that Taffy died.
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At least I was wrong about that.
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Sit down, son.
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Okay, we're back.
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We're broadcasting live here from the
Golden Palace Hotel, talking to one of
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owners. The witty, vivacious, and might
I add, lovely Blanche Devereaux.
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Blanche, say hello to our listeners.
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Hello.
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00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:27,490
Blanche, do you mind if we ask you a
couple of personal questions?
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00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,180
Not at all, Bill.
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Tell us, as a transvestite, do you find
that it's harder running a business here
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in conservative Miami? I beg your
pardon, Bill. I am not a transvestite.
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I'm sorry, transsexual. I always get you
guys mixed up.
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Boy, you know, I get them mixed up too,
Bill, especially after a couple of
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beers. Wait a minute. Listen. Look here.
I am a woman. And I was born a woman.
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Oh. Yeah. You mean a woman trapped in a
man's body. Same old story. Yeah.
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00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:04,440
Okay. Why don't you tell us about the
operation then, Blanche? Yes. You know,
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00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:09,040
they say sometimes when a man has to
have his leg amputated, he can still
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00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,720
the leg. Yeah. They want to wiggle her
toes, you know.
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00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:18,260
Did you ever want to wiggle your toe,
Blanche?
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Or do you keep your toe in a jar?
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I know mine is.
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What?
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Now, my name is Blanche Devereaux. I am
a woman. I have always been a woman.
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There must be somebody out there who
slept with me.
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Hello.
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How about a nice round of applause for
our guest, Mr. Blanche Devereaux. Thank
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you, thank you. What the hell?
Attention's attention.
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Well, Mel, I see by my watch it's time
for a little audience participation, and
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we're going to try an old favorite
called... Have a little faith. I love
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00:07:57,370 --> 00:08:00,590
Yeah, me too. Now, we're going to need a
volunteer for this game. Now, anybody
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00:08:00,590 --> 00:08:01,590
here want to play?
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00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:05,410
Rose, what are you waiting for? Raise
your hand. I don't think so.
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00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:08,910
Why should I go up and let them make me
look like a fool?
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I mean, what's in it for me?
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As a prize, we'll be giving away these
three magic beans.
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Oh, we have a volunteer.
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Come right over here, sweet thing.
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What's your name?
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Rose, Rose Nyland. Hi, Rose, Rose
Nyland. How are you? That's catchy. Now,
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order for you to win these beans, you
have to answer three trivia questions.
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How are you on farm trivia?
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00:08:32,539 --> 00:08:34,179
Oh, I'm great on farm trivia.
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I used to live on a farm. Isn't that a
coincidence?
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Absolutely.
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Boy, this will be easy.
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And I have faith that you can do it.
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Don't you, Milt? I'd be willing to bet
my life on it, Billy.
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Take that bet, Milt. Okay, boys.
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00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:56,910
Yes, sir.
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00:08:57,930 --> 00:09:01,930
All right, radio listeners at home, we
have a tank of water in front of us.
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00:09:02,290 --> 00:09:08,690
Now, Milt, I double dare you to stay
submerged in this tank of water until
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00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:11,670
successfully answers all three farm
trivia questions.
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00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:15,910
Boy, I don't think I can pass up an
opportunity like that, Bill.
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00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:18,590
Wait, how's he going to breathe in
there?
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Well, he can't. That's the point.
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We're depending on you. We have faith in
you that you'll get them out in time.
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What's more important than faith?
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Air. Air.
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You know, Billy, the lady may be right
on that air theory.
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Okay,
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he's in there nicely safe in there,
nicely sealed up. Okay, now let's get to
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question number one. But before we get
to question number one, Rose, tell us
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about yourself. Where are you from?
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00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:55,000
All right, question number one. What do
you call a baby goose? A gosling. A
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gosling. That's very good.
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Okay, question number two. Pay
attention, dear.
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00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,640
Name a machine that you find... A
tractor.
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00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,840
No, no. Wait till I finish the question,
dear. It's not really fair unless you
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let me finish the question. I'm sorry.
Okay.
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00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,380
Name a machine that you find on a farm.
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A tractor. Yes! Very good. You're doing
so well. This is only your first time.
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Ladies and gentlemen, she's terrific.
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Before we get to question three, let's
have a small commercial break.
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Oh, no!
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00:10:32,650 --> 00:10:37,230
things that a farmer plants 50 you want
50 well there's a thousand of them come
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00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:43,230
on you can rip them off like that let's
go oh wheat barley rice cotton corn how
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many is that let me see you said wheat
barley peas lettuce corn
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you already said corn did not
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00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:07,760
partner just a minute sweetie honey do
you want out he loves it in there he's
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00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:14,180
like a fish go on come on oh my god um
parsnips turnips uh
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00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:20,180
yams sugar beet uh watercress harmony
marijuana oh oh
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00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:24,920
my god it may be illegal but it's a cash
crop
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This man is dead. Oh, no.
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And I have a very strong hunch he
drowned.
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Oh, no.
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Oh, no.
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Goodbye, funny face.
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You killed my partner.
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Did you hear that, Miami?
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Rose Nyland killed my partner.
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And now listen to Rick James singing
Super Freaky.
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I'm sorry.
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I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to kill him.
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I'm a bad girl.
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I'm a bad, stupid girl.
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00:12:17,260 --> 00:12:19,340
Sophia, this prank on Rose has gone too
far.
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Ah, don't be a baby.
190
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:23,020
This is horrible. How can you do this?
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00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,040
Rose is the sweetest woman in the world.
And while you're standing out here
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laughing, she's probably sitting in the
lobby crying her eyes out.
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I see what you're saying.
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I should be in there watching that.
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00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:45,670
Sophia, I know why you did this to Rose.
You did it because you're jealous of
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00:12:45,670 --> 00:12:48,170
her. And you're jealous of her because
you're a mean old woman.
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00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:49,570
Ooh, gee.
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00:12:50,050 --> 00:12:52,570
When did they start teaching psychology
at Hamburger U?
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00:12:55,030 --> 00:12:56,270
Sophia, I'm serious.
200
00:12:56,570 --> 00:12:57,590
You gotta tell her the truth.
201
00:12:57,890 --> 00:13:01,370
Oh, come on. It's her own fault. Even a
chimpanzee would know it was a practical
202
00:13:01,370 --> 00:13:05,590
joke. Sophia, I think we all agree that
the noble chimp has a leg up on Rose.
203
00:13:06,610 --> 00:13:08,290
But that's not what we're talking about
here.
204
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,039
Oh, hi, Rose.
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00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,960
What do you got? A moth. I found it in
my room.
206
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,460
I just want to be sure it gets outside
safely.
207
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,160
From now on, I'm dedicating myself to
preserving life.
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00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:21,740
Fly, little moth.
209
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,080
Be free and live.
210
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:51,220
It's two for two.
211
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:56,720
All right, that's it. Either you tell
her or I'll tell her. Okay, okay.
212
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I thought this kind of practical joke
would make me laugh, but it hasn't. It's
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affected me in ways I didn't think
possible.
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00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:06,400
Yeah, it's made you feel ashamed, hasn't
it? No, it excited me sexually.
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Sophia!
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I'm as shocked as you are.
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00:14:13,780 --> 00:14:16,580
Roland, I think I could really help your
parents.
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00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,120
Well, my husband George and I spent some
time at a marriage council, and I
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really learned a lot. I learned how to
be detached and objective.
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00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,860
See, you're too emotionally involved to
be of any real help. No, now, you know
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00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:30,080
what I think? I don't care what you
think, Blanche. Now, look, if my parents
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don't realize that they belong together,
then I'm going to show them. And,
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Blanche, I don't need your help. Well...
So until I find a place of my own, I'll
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just move in with Roland. Whatever.
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00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,600
Blanche, I need your help.
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00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:45,120
Hey, guys, uh... Blanche wants to talk
to you for a second. Hello again.
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00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:48,720
Now, I want you both to realize that
I've had considerable experience in
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00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,120
mediating problems like yours.
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00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:54,500
Well, that's very kind of you, but this
is rather a personal matter. Personal
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00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:55,520
matters are my specialty.
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00:14:56,100 --> 00:15:01,480
Now, Louise, what was your first
indication that there might be a problem
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marriage? Well, if you must know, it
began in the bedroom.
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00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,680
Oh, no, no, no.
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00:15:06,820 --> 00:15:09,820
I don't want to hear them talk about
this. Well, fine. Go in the other room.
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00:15:11,950 --> 00:15:14,230
What was it, honey? Too little? Too
much?
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00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:15,650
I'm not afraid of details.
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00:15:17,290 --> 00:15:20,290
Maybe if you'd been more passionate, I
wouldn't have had guys over to watch
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00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:23,430
sports all the time. How could I be more
passionate in a room full of men?
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00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,090
Actually... Blanche!
240
00:15:27,870 --> 00:15:30,810
Look, this is crazy. This just is not
going to work. No, and will you please
241
00:15:30,810 --> 00:15:34,470
give this a chance? All these people
need is a third party who's not
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00:15:34,470 --> 00:15:36,790
involved. Yeah, but... Now, Joey, you
know...
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00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,360
A marriage doesn't break up over just
one issue. Now, there must have been
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00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:42,560
conflicts. Of course.
245
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,200
Louise lost all of our life savings
gambling.
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00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:49,240
What? Wait a minute. Nobody ever told me
that. Mom, I had no idea you knew how
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00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,980
to gamble. Well, apparently she doesn't.
248
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:57,580
You know, my husband and I used to play
the horses.
249
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,280
Well, I wouldn't gamble if you would
stay home on the weekends.
250
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,700
Why? So I can listen to you nag about
how I don't make enough money?
251
00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:07,220
We loved all those little riding crops
and saddles.
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00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,680
nagging woman than a man who can't
control his tears.
253
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,080
Even men have a change of life, Louise.
254
00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:15,420
Of course, we never actually made it to
the track.
255
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:19,920
He was a lusty man.
256
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,240
Lusty, lusty man.
257
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:31,640
Lusty, lusty cowboy who liked to run all
night. Will you stop talking about
258
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:32,640
yourself?
259
00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:35,650
My God, my parents have problems. They
have very serious problems.
260
00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:38,050
Honey, that's what we've been trying to
tell you.
261
00:16:39,130 --> 00:16:41,150
This hasn't been easy for us either,
son.
262
00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:44,030
But it's time we got on with our lives,
and you too.
263
00:16:46,930 --> 00:16:50,050
Well, I guess it's time I accepted this.
264
00:16:50,830 --> 00:16:54,990
I mean, I'm not going to like it, but if
a divorce is what you guys want, then
265
00:16:54,990 --> 00:16:57,130
I'm not going to stand in your way.
266
00:16:58,410 --> 00:16:59,410
Thank you, baby.
267
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:00,570
You're welcome. Not you.
268
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:04,919
Go on, Sophia.
269
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:05,679
Go on.
270
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:06,819
Tell her right now.
271
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,780
Rose, I have something to tell you, and
it's very difficult for me.
272
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,619
Oh, no, more bad news.
273
00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:17,319
Don't tell me the magic beans weren't
really magic.
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00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,260
Come on, she's so easy.
275
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,440
Tell her now, old woman.
276
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:25,740
All right, all right.
277
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,760
There's something I haven't been totally
honest with you about.
278
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:32,050
Oh no!
279
00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:35,050
Rose! What have you done?
280
00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:36,750
It's over.
281
00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:38,670
I sent him back to hell.
282
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,820
Mother of God, this is horrible. I gotta
hide.
283
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:53,100
What's wrong?
284
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,320
What's wrong?
285
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:55,800
You killed a man.
286
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,200
I killed a ghost.
287
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,040
You killed a man, you idiot.
288
00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:01,060
I don't understand.
289
00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:02,800
It was a joke.
290
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,760
I was pulling a joke on you.
291
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:07,320
Milton wasn't really dead. It was all
just a big joke.
292
00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:11,680
Sophia, you took the words right out.
293
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:36,880
How about you, sir?
294
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,360
I am a woman, damn it.
295
00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:40,979
Prove it.
296
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,400
Well, fine. How about starting off with
dinner?
297
00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:48,000
Fine. I'm right behind you. I can't
believe how this transvestite bit works
298
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,000
every time.
299
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,640
I can't believe how this dinner and I'll
prove it to you bit works every time.
300
00:19:57,060 --> 00:19:58,540
I don't believe this.
301
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,800
Rose, you knew the whole time.
302
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,000
We all did.
303
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:05,100
When you went to Milton and Bill, they
came to me.
304
00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:09,420
They thought anybody as vindictive as
you deserved a practical joke.
305
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:15,060
So, who's the incredibly stupid one now?
306
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:20,900
So you had this all planned, even down
to the moth and the bug zapper? No, that
307
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:22,260
was an unfortunate accident.
308
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,480
I hope you're all satisfied. This was a
terrible thing to do to an old lady.
309
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:33,360
It's not funny. You really had me
scared.
310
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,160
You really had me...
311
00:20:53,600 --> 00:21:00,520
well they didn't buy the heart attack
put the jokes on them i
312
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,560
think i broke my hip
24667
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