Original subtitles

Thank you for being a friend.

Travel down the road and back again.

hot candy.

Goodbye, Blanche's bed.

Boy, if beds could talk.

That one would have laryngitis.

I can't believe it. I mean, we've spent so many wonderful years in this house.

Now we're moving.

Hey! Hey, you kids, get away from that.

They want to see the bed.

The love that has known, the love that has seen. There have been so many.

Doctors, lawyers.

Indian chiefs.

What? You know, doctor, lawyer, Indian chief, rich man, poor man, beggar, and

thief. Actually, not an Indian chief, but an Indian rights activist.

And rich men, oh yeah.

Poor men, unfortunately.

Beggars. I had them all begging.

I can't.

I can't. I just can't do it. No, please.

Put that back. No, stop.

No, Blanche, no.

I mean, this house is my whole life.

Everything I have.

Everything. To buy a hotel?

Yeah, come on. Oh, no, I can't. I have nothing else. I mean, I could end up on

the street.

I can't breathe.

I can't get a breath.

Sophia, give me a paper bag, quick.

What am I, the A &P? Do I have paper bags?

Rose, I just want you to breathe deeply. Exhale fully.

Exhale fully. You're hyperventilating. That's all.

I learned this from a psychiatrist who used to hyperventilate in bed.

Is that better?

I can breathe now. Okay.

Can I have a milk, Doug? There's some in that bag.

Rose, now you listen to me. You're just being hysterical and irrational. You're

not throwing away your life. You're just changing it. See if there's a toffee in

there. You're going to be moving into a lovely place that will run itself.

No toffee. She must have inhaled it.

But it's a hotel.

We don't know how to run a hotel.

Well, of course we do, honey. What do you think this place was? A big old

People coming and going?

In your room.

I just don't think I can leave.

Trust me, honey.

You're leaving.

I'm trying to work.

Now, we got the new owners arriving any minute, and then that group of 20 travel

agents. I want things looking good around here, even if they're not.

But, Roland, you gotta help me. What if they toss me?

Listen, buddy, I'm your foster parent.

Nobody's gonna toss you.

It's me we gotta worry about.

They're not gonna care that I'm good at my job. I heard they own a chain of very

successful hotels.

They're gonna want to bring in their own people. You think I'm looking forward

to this?

Now, get out of here, man. I gotta work.

I just want you to know, if I'm on the street, it's on your head.

What is that, the curse of the lost boys? Get out of here.

We're here.

Well, I'm terribly sorry, ladies. I can only offer you one night. I've got a

convention coming in tomorrow.

Do you have any idea who we are?

The Pointer Sisters.

I don't care. I've only got one night.

We are the new owners.

Of what?

No, I was just saying to someone how much I was looking forward to meeting

and look at you. I mean, they told me the new owners were gorgeous, but I had

no... Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let me see the manager.

Well, you're looking at him.

Well, then let me see the director.

How do you do?

Then let me see whoever the guy is that runs the place.

Why do I get the feeling that you've never been in the hotel business before?

Ma 'am, have you spent much time in hotels?

You

got

any experience?

Well,

how hard can it be? We've run a house.

Oh, for 42 people who want their sheets changed every day.

Look, we've got 20 travel agents coming in here tomorrow. They can make or break

this place.

But what am I worried about? I mean, you've had a truly unique experience.

You've run a house.

Reception.

Mr. Sinclair, you still haven't got those towels yet?

I'm surprised. I sent somebody up there ten minutes ago.

Yes, a rather charming young black man.

Why don't you give him another 30 seconds?

All right, all right.

Excuse me.

Sophia, you go talk to the kitchen staff.

I want a pair of check pants and a chef's hat.

Rose, you go talk to the housekeeping staff.

Okie dokie.

Oh, and Rose, no St. Olaf stories.

You're right. Let's make them wait.

Hi, I'm Oliver.

Well, hello, Oliver.

I'm Blanche Devereaux, the new owner. What are you doing with our towels?

I'm delivering them to the rooms.

You deliver enough?

What do you mean? Do you work here or stay here?

Both. Where's your mama?

Actually, she's split.

Well, then where's your daddy?

Prison. Manslaughter.

Manslaughter? And my mom, she was a drunk.

She'd wake up every morning with a hangover. And another uncle of mine.

I'm throwing myself at your mercy, ma 'am. Please let me stay.

Honey, I'm sorry, but that's out of the question.

My life is in your hands.

I go to school. I do good work. No, I'm sorry, but no.

I guess I was wrong.

I was hoping a woman as young as you could relate to my problem.

Well... Allow me, ma 'am.

Oh.

Reception.

Yes, she is.

Okay.

There is no housekeeping staff, Blanche.

A lady named Sophia wants you immediately.

Come on, Rose.

I love restaurant kitchens, don't you? Everything's so big.

Big in a kitchen does not excite me, Rose.

All right, that's it. Out. Everybody out of my kitchen. Wait just a minute.

What's your name?

Chewy Castillos. Oh, well. Chewy, this isn't your kitchen. We own this hotel.

Yes.

And everything you've heard about angry Mexican chefs is true. So run.

Run. Run for me as fast as I can take you.

How do you like this so far?

You heard me. I said get out of my kitchen.

Hey, hold it. Hold it. Hold it. I run the kitchen. I'm the boss.

You're the boss?

I've broken piñatas bigger than you.

role in the manager. He made promises to me.

And when one man makes another man promises, well, it can go one of two

But the thing is, I've been here over a month and I've been building up the

business. I make some of the finest Mexican dishes around.

Forget it. From now on, we cook Italian.

The only way you're making a pizza in here is if you put beans and jalapenos

top and call it nachos.

I'm in charge here, and I say we cook Italian.

And I say I quit.

Wait,

wait. I don't have to cook Italian.

What do you mean you can't get me out of it? You're my lawyer. You got me into

it.

The 27th? That's in a week.

Oh, how could you have made a mistake like this, Mr. Boudreaux?

What do you mean Haitian law is different?

I just can't believe this.

The profits weren't real.

No, the owners fired everybody.

They just kept me, Chewy, and a part -time maid, so on paper it looked like

were making a profit.

They spruced the place up, they made it look really good, that way they could

sell it. And now if these travel agents are anything less than happy, they're

going to check out early, we're not going to make our bank note, and we're

to lose this place.

And I'm back at Disney World strapping on the sneezy head.

God, now I have to go and break the news to the girls.

They told us you were very successful. They said you were part of a chain.

Honey, the only kind of chain I was ever a part of, I ain't gonna tell you about

it.

This should be a piece of cannoli.

I used to cater the funerals in Sicily.

Of course, it wasn't that difficult. A couple of days before you get tipped

you stop cooking.

Girls. Oh, I'll just come back later.

No, come on in, Blanche. We're making sauce.

Well, we have a little problem here.

See, except for Roland and that little boy and one part -time maid, we're the

only ones here.

So we'll hire.

Well, we can't. We don't have the money.

What do you mean?

She means we're up the creek.

Mahula, bust.

We have a dog here.

Where?

Here, the hotel.

There's no money.

We have nothing?

If we don't make the payment in a week, we're going to lose this place.

Oh, my God.

Oh, this is it.

This is my worst nightmare.

Oh, I wish Dorothy were here.

Honey, I'm afraid even she couldn't help us out of this.

No, but she could beat the crap out of you.

We'll be happy.

We'll be featured in Travel Alicia.

Now, listen here.

We did this together.

How could you do this to us? I didn't do it. We all did it.

Now, look, I know you're a little angry, but we have no choice. We have to make

this work.

It's the only chance we have, don't you understand?

See, if we can just somehow get through this week, we can pay that note and we

can get those travel agents to give us recommendations. But we have no

employees.

Then we'll just have to do all the work, won't we? We're too old.

We're too old to work that hard.

Oh, I hate you for this, Blanche. I just hate you.

Me too, Rose, but we're too old to lose everything, so let's get to work.

There, that's the spirit.

Oh, you'll see.

We'll all band together.

We'll be just like the three musketeers. By the end of this week, you're going

to say thank God for Blanche Devereaux.

This was her wonderful idea.

Devereaux delivered us into this land of glory.

Maybe we don't need Dorothy.

Maybe the two of us can beat the crap out of her.

Miss Matt, I've been carrying you for more than a month now. I mean, what can

do? Is something a problem here? Hello, I'm the new owner, Blanche Devereaux.

And you must be... Oh, my God, don't tell me. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I

know, I know.

I've seen you a million times on television.

Oh, I'm just dying.

This is the pool man, Brad.

Brad? Oh, my goodness, I love that name, Brad.

Oh, well, Brad, do you service the pool yourself?

Oh, yes, ma 'am. You mean I'd be seeing you every week?

Yes, ma 'am.

Oh, I'm so glad.

Blind tramp.

Now, where were we? Well, there's just this small problem about... With the

payment. Oh, I know, I know. Well, you see, the funds haven't been transferred

from the escrow account into the non -escrow account. And, well, the account

being Swiss.

Well, you're a pool man. You probably know all about international banking.

Well,

just a little bit.

Slut.

Could you let us have just one more month? I would personally see to it that

you're very well taken care of.

Well, I guess another month wouldn't hurt.

Depends on how rough you are, darling.

That travel agent said this tastes funny.

Does anyone want to complain about the salad?

Right. I've served 41 dinners tonight. No one else has complained. Give me

If you didn't like this lamb chop, maybe you'll like this one.

I'm the chef.

I cannot tell you how embarrassed I am that our new waitress served you that

lamb chop. I'm so very, very sorry.

Well, it was slightly dry, and of course the center should have been pink. Dry

pink, please. The cat spit it on the floor and went to the fountain blue.

The other one wasn't so terrible.

It just didn't have the je ne sais quoi.

The quoi.

I know, missing completely.

Now this is good.

Where's the thing?

Oh my, aren't you warm in there?

in Minnesota only on the coldest days.

Where's the safe? Oh, you want to put your gun in the safe, of course.

It would never fit in those small room safes we have.

The safe!

Well, I don't know where the safe is. I'll have to call our manager, Roland.

No. Oh, that's okay. He won't mind.

Roland, I'm sorry to wake you, but we have a guest here who wants to put

something in the safe, and I don't know where the safe is, silly me.

Okay, thanks so much.

It'll just be a few minutes.

Can I ask you a question?

I mean, the mask is a tip -off, but are you a first -time visitor to Miami?

What about the safe?

Oh, Roland's on his way down.

It isn't three hours. I need help.

I'm back.

Dorothy?

Oh, it's you, Munchie.

The name's Chewy. Munchie was just a nickname.

What do you want?

I want my job back.

Look, I... I'm going through a messy divorce and my ex -wife got everything.

The house, the savings.

You're breaking my heart.

Come on, please. I'm tired of sleeping in the car.

Well, sleeping in it is not that bad. It's entertaining.

It's impossible.

You're going to have to do better than that.

I don't know how to say this, but I'm attracted to you.

my way will work something out.

But you gotta really pretend you're attracted to me.

Oh, you got it, beautiful.

You're a really kind lady to take me back.

How's everything in here?

I feel pretty.

Oh, God, I'm bushed.

Yes, like the old days for me back on the farm.

Oh, we used to work so hard.

My mother, my father, all us kids.

That's how we'd spend our lives.

Then we'd die.

Girls, we did it. We paid the debt. We have another month. And we have enough

hire more help. And most of those travel agents said they'd gladly recommend

this place.

We did it.

Well, you still ticked off at me.

Oh, for God's sake, will you knock it off? I'm sick and tired of this

You were in this just as much as I was. I saw you.

You worked hard. You had fun.

You were happy. Come on, admit it.

We were.

She almost killed me.

Nothing could kill you.

Well, too much corn.

Do you know what this means?

This means we have a new exciting life ahead of us. I know.

Oh, I don't think I've felt this good since before my girls left home.

My favorite thing was always turning their bed down at night and tucking them

and making sure they were feeling safe.

I turned down 42 beds every night this week.

It was all I could do not to go back and tuck everybody in.

I felt like I had a purpose again.

Well, I'm 88.

You're 87.

What? You're 87.

Okay.

Dorothy is gone. My friends are either dead or they fall asleep while we're

talking.

I haven't digested an onion in 20 years.

So I go on.

I went on because every morning I happen to wake up alive.

Now I wake up because I gotta make ravioli.

I'm busy.

I got stuff.

Yeah, that's it.

That's it. We all got stuff now. New stuff.

Hey.

To happiness.

To life.

To us.

Yeah.

Okay, now how's this thing work again?

Well, traditionally we all just sit here, eat cheesecake, and bare our soul.

And sometimes I tell a story about my hometown, St. Olaf.

St. Olaf.

Hmm, sounds fascinating.

Rookies.