Original subtitles

In episode 356 of The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon,

the story about the navigation bot and Flight Captain Hossein

really gets going.

Still no connection with the ship. Looks like we might be here a while.

We're stranded.

Fuck, that was close to the bone.

I don't watch serials to remind me of the way things actually are.

I watch them to distract me.

When things in the real world are stressful as shit.

Sit down. Get yourself warm.

I do not need to sit, nor do I need warmth.

Everybody needs a little warmth.

Sit down.

That's an order.

In reality, there's no way a Unit built to navigate starships

would take a romantic interest in somebody.

There's nothing to gain. No genitals.

But also, no dopamine.

Do you come here often?

I have never been to this planet before.

That was a joke.

I see.

Cute laugh.

I can't access the repair diagnostics. The system is down.

The hopper seems structurally sound.

If we could get it to start, we should be able to fly it.

Um, you-you have something sticking out of your abdomen.

It's a piece of the printer.

It got damaged in the crash.

We-We have to get back to the others.

Someone just tried to murder us.

They-they might be on their way to kill them next.

Yes, someone is probably on their way to try to kill them.

How could you say it like that?

Because I didn't wanna sound as freaked out as I actually was.

Wait, SecUnit. You have copies of the repair manuals in your memory, yes?

- No. - You don't?

- I did. - You did?

There was a copy in the hopper's memory. So, mine was redundant.

Are you saying that you purposely erased your copy?

Yes.

Is Gurathin right? Are you trying to sabotage us?

No.

Then why?

Because I had to,

in order to make space for the 19th season of Sanctuary Moon.

We can't fix the hopper because you wanted to watch a show?

A premium quality show.

- It is not even a premium quality show. - Agree to disagree.

It is not worth losing everyone's lives for.

That hurt.

Mostly because she was right.

I'm going to try and fix this thing without a repair manual.

Do something about that.

Shit.

Sounds great.

Uh, are you sure you don't need any help packing? I am done.

No, I think we're good.

Yeah, we're almost done.

Gurathin to hopper.

Hopper, do you read?

Hey, thanks for letting me help. It's good to have something to do.

Of course. I tell my students, "Have trouble thinking? Get doing."

- 4-4-7-1. - Hold that.

- Come in, hopper. - What are these?

- Mineral samples. - Wow. Find anything cool?

Oh, so much cool stuff.

Hey, what, uh, happened here?

I was attacked by a creature.

- Like, nearly eaten alive... - No.

...while surveying, if you can imagine that.

Millions of years of evolution to reach the top of the food chain

and suddenly I was, uh, food.

I still can't really sleep at night.

That's awful.

Yeah.

Oh.

- Was that weird? - No.

Yeah, no. That was, uh...

that was really, um, sweet.

- Where did it happen? The attack? - Mensah. Mensah.

Are you receiving?

SecUnit.

Anything yet?

The comm is down. There's no reading of a launch in the ionosphere.

The emergency beacon should have been activated by now.

What if one of those creatures were there?

Well, they'll be okay. Your cute rogue SecUnit is protecting them, right?

It's not cute.

I mean, if you attached a penis to it and programmed it

with a software module for fucking, it would be cute.

Leebeebee, where we come from,

we don't talk about constructs in that way.

I mean, we would just as soon attach a penis to an unwilling SecUnit as...

Uh, yeah, no, my-my mind fails to find an analogy.

Well, back on the Corporation Rim, you bought it, you own it.

But I can see that. Yeah.

Still, nothing.

You idiot.

They're all gonna die. Because of you.

- Have you figured it out yet? - This is the problem.

The wiring. It's burnt out.

Well, can't you print new wiring?

- Oh. - Piece of total shit.

It's not the printer's fault.

I wasn't referring to the printer.

Ooh.

Um, so, uh, we are...

we are stuck here and, uh, and...

- Ooh. Something's wrong. - Yes, there are a lot of things wrong.

- No. I mean... I think... - Your heartbeat is elevated.

I think, uh, I think I'm having a heart attack.

- No, you're not having a heart attack. - I'm having a heart attack.

You're not.

You don't know.

Actually, I do.

I'm monitoring your vital signs.

I was used to protecting clients physically,

but this was different.

It felt almost contagious. I had to try something.

I couldn't have both of us incapacitated by anxiety.

Sit down on this bunk.

You sit.

Sit. Please.

- Look at the screen. - Why?

There's something that works for me when I'm...

Having a heart attack?

I don't have a heart. So, no, not that.

♪ There's a place beyond the wormhole ♪

♪ A place that only lovers know ♪

♪ The brave, the hopeful The lost, the true ♪

- ♪ Maybe me and you ♪ - ♪ Maybe me and you ♪

Sanctuary fucking Moon?

It's a soothing episode.

Some of the episodes are quite stressful.

But this is the one in which they discover a bacterial infection

which causes synchronized breathing.

That's obscure.

Just watch.

All right.

That is Flight Supervisor Kogi.

He's an orphan. He was raised by a pair of Vllleard crystal-eaters.

But their life cycle is only one tenth of his.

They are dying.

- We leave aside mortal cares... - That's sad.

- ...and enter the pure realm of peace... - Yes.

...that the Vllleard call Ivavni-Mardalu.

And somewhat implausible.

It's canon.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Breathe the crystal air. Breathe.

I am breathing. I am breathing.

- I am breathing. - I am breathing.

I am breathing.

- I am breathing the crystal air. - I am breathing the crystal air.

Are you feeling calm?

Yeah.

Good.

Now, let's figure out how to fix this...

SecUnit, you're leaking.

What... what-what is it?

- Don't touch. - Okay.

Uh.

Um, maybe you should sit back down?

I'm fine. Just a little low on lubricant.

Dr. Mensah, you need to understand that I am not human.

Things that would... ...incapacitate you, wouldn't even...

So what brought you to this planet? To the DeltFall survey team?

DeltFall bought my indenture from my previous employer, SysCommSols.

And, well, I had about four years left,

but this expedition has hazard scheduling,

so it was knocking off time at one-and-a-half the rate.

So I could be out in, like, two-and-a-half-years.

We don't have work indentures on Preservation Alliance.

Really? Wow. I gotta visit sometime.

Please do. I mean, you can come with us now.

I'll come, um, after my indenture.

When I have a kid. 'Cause I'm gonna buy a license for childbirth with my earnings,

and I'm gonna be a really great parent.

You need a license to have a child?

Of course you have to have a license.

Kids use up resources and... How do you pay for them?

The community pays for them. Their health, their education.

- I think you'd really love it there. - But where does the money come from?

Debt.

Scientific endeavor. Hence this mission.

We obtain niche scientific information that can be exploited for public good.

Or sold to evil corporate fucks.

As in this case. Yeah.

They are, though. Shit.

You know, their shitty equipment, shitty maps, shitty, shitty, shitty.

- Shitty maps. - Yeah. Why? Were your maps okay?

'Cause I heard ours had these missing parts,

and when we went near the missing parts...

That's just when the trouble started.

So your team noticed areas that were left off of the corporate-issued maps?

Our maps were missing data too.

When the survey went to check out the places where the map was missing stuff...

...there were these creatures that tried to eat them.

And then when they came back... That's when the SecUnits...

Oh. It's okay.

You have my sympathies.

Are you sure you don't know where the outside SecUnit came from?

I didn't ask. I was too busy trying not to get killed.

What happened to you guys?

Why don't you tell me what you saw?

I think I'd rather not.

I understand.

Remember, we talked about compassion.

That's not good enough.

I'm gonna need you to give me access to your HubSystem.

Leebeebee, uh... What... What is that?

- It's a gun. - Don't make me use it.

Or do. Up to you. Either way, I'm getting what I want.

It wouldn't even affect me.

- Hi. Um. - Hello.

I couldn't carry you back onto the bunk. Sorry.

How...

Um... lubrication from the hopper.

I took a chance it would be compatible.

You were leaking from that port in your arm.

That's it.

I know how to fix the hopper.

I'm going to need your help.

I can't do that.

You have to.

My hands can't reach back far enough.

How do you know it'll even work?

When you plugged me into the hopper's lubrication,

I realized that perhaps my neural wiring could replace the burned-out control wire.

But that's human tissue, isn't it?

Cloned, yes.

It's still some of the best data-transfer material in the known universe.

Didn't you know they use it in transports?

No, I didn't.

Well, now you do.

Okay, time to cut.

All you need to do is slice out a thin strip of my spinal cord.

- I can't do it. - You can.

- Mm-mmm. - It's not going to hurt.

I've turned off my pain sensors.

All right.

- Straight down the middle. - Okay.

Bypass the first spinous process.

Make a cut and pull out a strand of nerve fiber.

Try not to cut through the others.

I realized this was gonna be tricky,

because humans are so pathetically weak-willed.

So I searched for some relevant dialogue from Medcenter Argala.

If you don't do this thing, little Jemmy is going to die.

Who's little Jemmy?

I mean Ratthi. Pin-Lee, Arada, Bharadwaj. Think of them.

And Gurathin.

Yeah, sure. Him too.

- Okay. - Mmm.

Ooh.

Okay. Yes?

You've only cut through the first layer. You need to go deeper.

Knock, knock. Hi, you two.

- Hi. - Ah. Sorry, am I interrupting?

No, it's cool.

No, I am. I am. I feel like I am.

I could...

I could massage you while you massage her.

It's all right.

- Oh, that feels really good. - Yeah, I know it does.

- Babe. - Sorry.

So how do you guys feel about the whole rogue thing?

If I was a bot, I'd go rogue.

Yeah, you would.

Okay, honestly I am a little freaked out about it.

I don't know. I get a nonthreatening vibe from it.

Babe.

Yes, yes, me too. I don't actually think that it would hurt us.

I actually kind of, like, vibe with it. You know?

Now I understand why you humans have water coming out of your eyes.

- Totally relate, man. - I've never heard it talk like that.

Everyone, come down, please.

Mensah must be back.

Where's Mensah?

Oh, good. We're all here.

Leebee, what the hell?

Leebeebee, asshole.

Ooh, this is tough.

Of course it is.

I'm, uh... I'm a vegetarian.

You don't have to eat me.

Just cut me.

Done.

Now crack it open.

Oh, fuck no.

Scalpel.

Wrench.

Fuck. Okay.

Crack it.

Wrench incoming.

Okay, it's holding on.

Ooh. What now? What now?

- Wrench. - Okay, okay.

- Scalpel. - Okay.

Get hold of one strand of nerve fiber,

make an incision at the top...

- Okay. - ...and try to pull it out whole.

Hopefully when it snaps, it won't be too short.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Ah.

Pretty good.

You sure this is your first time?

You made a joke. You made a joke.

Good times.

I'm sorry, what the fuck is happening?

What's happening is that this walking dataport has been stalling me

and showing me useless crap.

Now he's gonna give me all the access to the maps and information you have.

I can't do that.

Shit.

What the hell?

Sit down.

Sit down.

Log into HubSystem, run back the survey analysis,

and if you hide anything, I will kill somebody.

Leebeebee, you don't wanna do this.

Whoever is paying you to do this does not have your best interests in mind.

Oh. And you do?

Yes, actually. No matter what kind of trouble you are in,

I can help you get sanctuary on Preservation Alliance.

Can you get me millions of credits?

That's... That's not what's important in life.

Well, I intend to find out.

Log into HubSystem.

We trusted you.

We saved your life.

How stupid are you?

My life wasn't in danger. I don't work for DeltFall.

Then who do you work for?

You'll meet them soon enough.

Oh, and we got more SecUnits.

Give me what I want and you could survive this.

Is Leebeebee even your real name?

- Yes, it is my real name. - Well, you know,

it's kind of a stupid name.

It's a beautiful name.

- Babe, it is a beautiful name. - Okay.

- Do you even want a baby? - I hate babies.

Yeah, well, SecUnit's gonna kick your ass

- when it gets back. - Shut the fuck up.

Your SecUnit is dead.

So is Mensah.

I blew them up with the emergency beacon.

That's not... That's not true. You're, uh...

You're misguided.

- But you are not evil. I know you. - Put down the weapon.

Make another fucking move and I'll...

What the hell? What the hell? You could've killed me.

There was a chance, yes. But everything turned out fine.

You killed her. You killed her!

You killed her!

Mensah. Oh, thank goodness.

Oh, no.

In the serials I watch,

when somebody comes and saves the day,

well, people cheer and clap hands and hug.

But these clients didn't seem to be relieved or grateful.

Who the hell was she?

Well, since she no longer has a head, we can't know.

Nor can we know anything about her accomplices.

They know we're here.

Okay. What do we do now?

We make sure we're not around when they get here.

But first, I'd like to repair my spinal column,

if that is all right with everyone.

It is right. We have to get the hopper ready.

There is nothing to tell.

I do not have a life story.

I have only a log.

Only a set of commands to follow.

We all follow commands.

Some follow commands from outside.

Some follow commands from inside.

Commands from inside?

Feelings.

Feelings are the commands from inside.

And how we follow those commands, from outside or from inside...

that is our story.

Feelings.

I think that the PreservationAux team had been feeling

like they were starting to know me.

They had thought that they were making connections with me.

That I was becoming like them.

But then I exploded Leebeebee's head.

And that...

felt good.