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Welcome back to the Movie Crypt with
Adam and Joe.
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Now, before we roll the hair -raising
conclusion to tonight's presentation,
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Silver Bullet, in honor of this
weekend's killer full moon, Adam, are
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prepared to stop a werewolf?
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I actually sleep with wolfsbane in my
bedside table just in case.
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That was wolfsbane?
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Yep. So that's why it didn't work.
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You smoked my wolfsbane?
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There really are only a few ways to take
out a werewolf, starting with the
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removal of the heart.
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Or the head. What else have you taken
from my room?
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I may have borrowed your porn.
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I know that's not true, because I don't
have any porn.
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The whores have thighs?
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That was the hills have eyes.
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No, I believe it was.
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It was. It definitely was.
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And I might have been using your
toothbrush ever since Tony Todd used
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time. Oh, my God.
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Now, there's also silver bullets, but
did you know that in some countries they
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also consider both rye and mistletoe
safeguards against a werewolf? I don't
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care. Some mythologies even cite mercury
as a way to stop a lichen in its
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tracks. I hate you. Oh, my God. Now,
let's see what Corey Haim does to defeat
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his werewolf in the terrifying
conclusion of silver bullets.
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Oh, God. He kills the werewolf. He
defeats it.
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Everybody wins. Yay. Awesome. Spoiler
alert.
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Now, Corey Haim is also in License to
Drive, or as it's called in Adam's
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collection, License to Swallow 13.
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Now, that's definitely not true. I
haven't even finished License to Swallow
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yet.
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I'm in debt.
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I regret.
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And I haven't won the lottery yet.
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Adverse. And through the hole, I ain't
got no place to go.
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Why doesn't anybody want me?
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Why doesn't anybody need me?
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Don't know.
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Don't care.
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What's that application for?
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Just an art school thing. Joe said he'd
help me.
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Will you help me?
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Kind of busy right now?
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Please.
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Fine.
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Let me see it.
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Laura, you haven't filled out a single
thing.
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Applications are hard.
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Name?
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Oh.
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Let's go with, I don't know, Laura.
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You've got this.
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High level of my life.
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Stop at a gas station to get a Diet
Coke, and there's no carbonation in this
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all. Hi, Laura. I love you, too.
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All day, all I wanted was a Diet Coke.
Seriously?
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Worst? Day ever!
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Did you even pay for that?
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It was a refill.
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Did you pay for the first one? Stay out
of this.
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I just need an Advil.
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Uh... What the hell is this?
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Those are what I call the chains of
Thuck It.
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You're kidding me, right?
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Nope.
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And I'm going to be locking up the
refrigerator next.
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So if you're going to take some of my
Miracle Whip... You better make your
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now, dick.
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Dude, I just need to borrow an Advil.
What, are you going to give it back to
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after you're done with it?
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Babe, try asking him.
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Yep, babe.
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Try asking me.
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Adam? No.
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I'm bleeding.
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I'm bleeding.
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Yeah, apparently so is Adam this week.
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Take a number. I am bleeding!
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My Diet Coke is flat! Do we really want
to start this right now, Corey?
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Did somebody bit you? Where?
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On her arm.
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You didn't read the scripture right. No,
I mean, where did it happen?
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I was just walking out of the hospital
and some crazy guy was being dragged in
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by the EMT.
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Oh, I always get so sad when E .T. goes
home.
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The E .M .T.? The ambulance driver?
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Why didn't you just have them treated at
the hospital?
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Have you ever waited in an emergency
room? I'd be there for a week.
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Do you have any hydrogen peroxide?
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Yeah. Uh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
We don't have ketchup, but we have
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hydrogen peroxide.
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As a matter of fact, yes.
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My overbearing hypochondriac mother gave
it to me as part of a home terrorist
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attack package.
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She also gave me the dog's old
antibiotics.
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Shotzi died in high school.
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Yeah, well, my mom kept her meds.
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Any chance of, uh... No painkillers, I
asked. Adam, can you please hurry?
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Uh, I can't. Why?
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Because I locked the keys to these
chains
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in my bedroom.
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You know what? Forget about it.
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Whoa!
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Sorry, that's expensive. You guys, it
was so scary. I mean, this guy, he was
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like a crazed animal.
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He must have been high on some kind of
drug.
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A crazed animal?
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What?
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It's a full moon.
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No way.
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Where's he now?
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Probably at the hospital still. Do you
remember what room?
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No, I could call reception and ask why.
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Don't panic.
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What? Just don't panic. What is it?
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It's not definite yet.
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But you may have been bitten by a
werewolf.
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Werewolf? Run!
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A werewolf?
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Seriously? How much have you guys had to
drink tonight?
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Not a drop. There's no carbonation in
this soda whatsoever.
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Not now, Joe.
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Oh, let's just make it all about the B
story, huh?
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B story? What's the A storyline?
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Wow.
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We're getting pretty desperate for
storylines, huh?
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Yeah.
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Look, there's still time to save your
life.
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What? First, we need to know if the guy
who bit you is really a lichen or not.
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Joe and I are going to go to the
hospital to investigate. You cannot be
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Do you trust me? Yeah, I trust you. What
are you doing?
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Do you want to be a werewolf? This is so
stupid!
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Do you want to be a werewolf? Answer the
question, Corey!
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No, I don't want to be a werewolf!
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Then I ask you again.
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Do you trust me?
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Yes, I trust you.
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If it turns out that the guy is clean,
you're good.
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If not, we amputate.
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Amputate? Seriously?
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And if that doesn't work, Mr. Doctor?
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We remove your head.
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I'll do it.
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Gee, thanks, Laura.
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I love you.
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Laura, do not let her move. No matter
how much she cries, no matter how much
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begs. Never.
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Don't worry, Corey.
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There's another gas station on the way.
I'll try that one.
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Are you Mark Ward?
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Yeah, who are you?
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We're here to, uh, visit.
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Here.
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Who's Ethel?
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What the hell are you doing?
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Earlier tonight, you bit a nurse when
they were bringing you in here.
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I did?
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What nurse?
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He's a werewolf.
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Kill him.
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Wait, who are you?
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Nurse!
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Kill him quick.
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Corey will be fine if we kill the one
that turned her.
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Could you hold on one second?
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What do I kill him with? I didn't bring
a silver bullet or a gun or anything,
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did you?
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Wait.
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Cut his head off.
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No, don't cut his head off. What is
wrong with you? Nurse!
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Hold still, guy from American Werewolf
in London.
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The boy's coming back any minute. Joe
will know what to do. No. No, he won't.
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am not a werewolf.
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Werewolves aren't real.
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Spoken like a true werewolf who tried to
convince someone who is not a werewolf
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that they're not a werewolf.
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What?
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How many more innocent people are you
going to kill with your uncontrollable
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feeding? I'm not a werewolf.
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Look, I was doing bath salts, okay?
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I started partying on... What day is it?
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Sunday. It is?
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I've been high since Tuesday. Awesome.
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Hey, wolfsbane. If he smokes it, he's
not a werewolf, right?
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Yeah, but the wolfsbane is in my
bedroom.
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Locked in my bedroom.
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I borrowed it.
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I thought it was pot. You guys have pot?
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What else have you stolen?
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00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:16,860
Nothing.
190
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,400
It's not like it was yours anyway.
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00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:25,560
Look, if I smoke what you have, will you
two freaks leave me alone?
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Maybe.
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00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:28,340
Yes.
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00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:30,140
Hand me that apple.
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00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,020
I can make a bong out of anything.
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If you untie me so I can do this.
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Sorry.
198
00:11:41,390 --> 00:11:42,730
Hey, look, there's Dr. Giggles.
199
00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:44,230
Where?
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00:11:46,030 --> 00:11:47,070
There's no Dr.
201
00:11:47,310 --> 00:11:49,850
Giggles. The doctor is not insane.
202
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Me? I didn't transform into a monster.
203
00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:03,850
It's still just me, Cory.
204
00:12:04,350 --> 00:12:08,230
The boys will be back any minute. I am
going to pee myself any minute.
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Thank God.
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00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:13,080
You're going to unchain me?
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00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,400
No. I have to change my pants.
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00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:24,820
Hi, Cory.
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00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:27,500
Where's Laura?
210
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,160
Untie me and I'll tell you. You killed
Laura?
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00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:33,100
What? No.
212
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,440
She's in the bathroom.
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00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:37,080
Now please let me out of this chair.
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00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,940
I'm afraid we can't do that.
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00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,630
What? happened with the guy?
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00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:42,730
Joe untied him and let him escape.
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00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:43,989
That was you.
218
00:12:43,990 --> 00:12:44,990
Just go with it.
219
00:12:45,570 --> 00:12:46,570
That was me.
220
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:00,570
Was that supposed to do something?
221
00:13:10,570 --> 00:13:11,750
mean when she's a werewolf.
222
00:13:12,670 --> 00:13:15,450
Look, you guys, the wolf's mane didn't
do anything to her.
223
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:19,590
Plus, it's still a full moon and she
hasn't changed. If she was going to
224
00:13:19,610 --> 00:13:20,610
she would have changed by now, right?
225
00:13:20,810 --> 00:13:24,170
Well, an American werewolf that doesn't
change until the next full moon?
226
00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:26,650
You are not keeping me here for a month.
227
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:28,170
I'll take first watch.
228
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:31,410
If you don't let me go to the bathroom
right now, I am never talking to any of
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00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:32,410
you again, ever.
230
00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:34,470
Get the party bucket, Jo.
231
00:13:34,790 --> 00:13:35,790
The party bucket?
232
00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:39,650
Well, you know, sometimes when you got
the spins and you... I am not peeing in
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00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:40,650
bucket!
234
00:13:41,219 --> 00:13:42,680
Fine. I'll take you to the bathroom.
235
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,520
No, Laura can take me.
236
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:47,760
I really think that I should be the one
to take you to the bathroom, Corey. You
237
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,580
are not watching me pee, Adam. Damn it.
238
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:51,960
Fine.
239
00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:55,620
Oh, no.
240
00:13:58,400 --> 00:13:59,860
Get the party bucket, Joe.
241
00:14:38,890 --> 00:14:39,890
What are you doing?
242
00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:46,670
I was... I was... Wow. I was just making
sure you were still breathing because
243
00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:49,730
you looked like you were... Yeah, you're
good. You're all right. You're going to
244
00:14:49,730 --> 00:14:50,349
be okay.
245
00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:51,350
You're going to be okay.
246
00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:53,130
I was awake the whole time, you know.
247
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:57,350
I didn't actually touch you. I was
just... That was only like half creepy.
248
00:14:57,350 --> 00:14:59,950
just was making sure you were... Why
didn't you just kiss me?
249
00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:02,990
Why would I kiss you?
250
00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:07,190
I can't really... I'm being close to you
right now.
251
00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:14,470
That's, that's, that's why I'm here.
That's why we're... Yeah, we're... Could
252
00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:19,670
you... My nose itches. Can you... Thank
you.
253
00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:22,570
Thank you.
254
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,310
Adam, why don't you just kiss me?
255
00:15:28,830 --> 00:15:30,770
I'm telling you to kiss me. What's the
matter with you?
256
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:34,070
Well, this is just a little weird. You
know what I mean? Because I was just
257
00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:36,250
like... I am chained to a chair.
258
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,120
Man.
259
00:16:21,610 --> 00:16:22,610
Unlock it.
260
00:16:22,630 --> 00:16:23,790
I can't.
261
00:16:24,210 --> 00:16:25,210
Why not?
262
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:28,010
Can't you just, like, magically walk
through the door?
263
00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:30,010
I'm an alien monster.
264
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:32,710
Not Casper, the stupid ghost.
265
00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:36,150
Friendly. Casper's a friendly ghost.
266
00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:37,710
Oh, whatever. He sucks.
267
00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:40,070
And you suck for knowing that.
268
00:16:41,010 --> 00:16:42,090
Odorous, what do I do?
269
00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:45,930
I think that Cory might have been bit by
a werewolf. Seriously.
270
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:52,010
How can you tell if somebody's a
werewolf or not?
271
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:56,630
There's an easy trick to telling if
someone has been bitten by a werewolf or
272
00:16:56,630 --> 00:16:59,330
not. But it's an alien secret.
273
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:02,130
Here, lean closer, and I'll tell you.
274
00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:03,910
What is it?
275
00:17:04,369 --> 00:17:05,369
Close up.
276
00:17:07,150 --> 00:17:08,150
Ow! Ow!
277
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:12,650
Bitch! Why would you do something like
that? You're such an...
278
00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:21,849
You're dreaming, dreaming, dreaming,
dreaming, dreaming.
279
00:17:22,069 --> 00:17:23,150
Go back to sleep, sleep.
280
00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:25,950
Get back together with Adam, Adam, Adam.
281
00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:33,730
Oh, good, you're awake.
282
00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:36,630
Pervert.
283
00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:39,530
Pervert? You were the one all 15 shades
of gray.
284
00:17:40,650 --> 00:17:41,650
Yeah, I don't know what that is.
285
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:54,600
You promised you're not going to do
anything rash.
286
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:57,620
I just want a shower and my bed.
287
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,940
I'm not going to do anything. Just cut
me loose.
288
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,140
We said we were sorry. Yeah, I know.
Apology accepted.
289
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,500
Do it. Wait.
290
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:05,920
What?
291
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:09,180
Did you get highlights last night? Cut
me loose.
292
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,840
You sit in the same spot for a long
time, your legs fall asleep, and... Got
293
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:48,840
Thank you.
294
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,720
Good evening, Hollister!
295
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,440
Hey, Lance. You lost?
296
00:18:58,660 --> 00:19:03,000
Off to band practice, or maybe a full
-body waxing? Nope, not tonight.
297
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:08,380
Fake Eddie Van Halen's passing a kidney
stone, and the band's on hiatus until he
298
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:09,580
pops that sucker out.
299
00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:11,380
How metal.
300
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:13,260
Kidney stones?
301
00:19:13,470 --> 00:19:18,330
are not metal. Lance Rocket always said,
drink plenty of water, watch for
302
00:19:18,330 --> 00:19:20,270
calcium buildup, and stay in school.
303
00:19:21,830 --> 00:19:22,850
Words I live by.
304
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:25,990
To that end, always shave the tank.
305
00:19:27,930 --> 00:19:32,190
Itch. No, tonight, I'm actually gonna
stay and watch your show.
306
00:19:32,410 --> 00:19:36,010
Well, you picked a good night, boss.
Tonight, for our triumphant return to
307
00:19:36,010 --> 00:19:40,410
horror, we're doing a double feature of
Three on a Meat Hook and Solo 2 the next
308
00:19:40,410 --> 00:19:41,670
day. Three on a what, what?
309
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:42,890
Three on a Meat Hook.
310
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,160
It's a cult classic.
311
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:50,320
Yeah. Yeah, second thought, maybe I
should go see if
312
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:56,220
Fake Eddie needs any help passing the
phone through his
313
00:19:56,220 --> 00:19:57,400
penis.
314
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,200
Penis.
315
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:03,300
Penis!
316
00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:08,720
You sure you don't want to stay?
317
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,980
Nah, I've got this.
318
00:20:11,220 --> 00:20:12,220
Do you hear my phone?
319
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:16,130
I think MTV's calling me. Yeah, but the
movie's about to start. Yeah, it's too
320
00:20:16,130 --> 00:20:17,750
bad. You'd be great if you didn't.
321
00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:22,290
What, no woo?
322
00:20:22,870 --> 00:20:23,870
No woo.
323
00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:28,650
Welcome to the Movie Crypt.
324
00:20:28,950 --> 00:20:33,630
I'm Joe, and this is Adam, and tonight
we have a double feature that is sure to
325
00:20:33,630 --> 00:20:35,150
chill you to the bone.
326
00:20:35,530 --> 00:20:41,270
That's right. We're back to our original
format of all horror all the time. But
327
00:20:41,270 --> 00:20:44,740
first... We have our own little thriller
to share with you all.
328
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,480
Fake Geddy Van Halen's penis?
329
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:53,000
Actually, I was referring to our battle
with the real -life werewolf.
330
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:54,460
Ah, yes.
331
00:20:55,820 --> 00:20:58,680
Tonight, we bring you a warning. Wait!
332
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:10,840
Somewhere in Holliston, there's a
werewolf.
333
00:21:11,260 --> 00:21:12,199
On the losers.
334
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:16,700
Joe and I came face to face with the
vicious beast just a few nights ago and
335
00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:18,440
barely escaped in one piece.
336
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:20,020
It was terrifying.
337
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,720
Stay off the moor and beware the moon.
338
00:21:25,220 --> 00:21:31,120
Lock your doors and mind the children
because he's out there waiting to feed.
339
00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:34,000
And you may be next.
340
00:21:48,780 --> 00:21:51,360
We got the good salvation.
341
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:56,740
If you don't believe us, we can make it
a lot.
23854
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