Original subtitles

That's it. That's it. That gets it going.

Well, all right, it's time to hit the hay.

Your mother would pitch a fit if she knew I let you stay up so late.

But, Grandpa, I'm not tired.

I imagine you're not.

I was never tired when I was your age, either.

You were my age?

Yes, a very, very long time ago.

What was it like when you were my age?

Oh, it's...

Similar to what it's like for you, I imagine, but also very different.

What do you mean?

Well, when you're little like you are, not much changes.

You get up, you go to school, you play, you listen to your parents and your

grandparents when they talk to you.

But adults had it different when I was little.

How was it different?

Oh, I see what you're trying to do.

Grandpa, please.

You haven't told me a story in forever.

Okay, just a quick one, though.

Is this when you were a kid?

Sure is. It's just before the Texas Compromise.

Compromise? What's that?

A compromise. It's like, well, I want you to go to bed, and you want to hear a

long story.

So I tell you a short story. Now that is compromise.

So we both get what we want.

Exactly.

But this compromise was not between a grandpa and his granddaughter. It was

between half a country.

And about that same time, two men, nearly by accident, became an infamous

duo. Infamous is like famous, but for bad things, like stealing, killing.

So they were bad guys?

Oh, some would think that was the case.

This is it.

This is how we go.

No shootout, no Mexican standoff in the middle of town as locals duck for cover.

Well, there goes a story parents tell their children.

Luke and Lem.

The baddest outlaws in the West.

Instead, they're going to say, there goes what's -her -names.

Bury them in the soft sand where the tomatoes go.

We're going to be tomato fertilizer, Lem.

light tomatoes.

Are you listening to me?

I reckon I ain't got much choice.

Besides, it may not be tomatoes.

Maybe cauliflower.

Maybe eggplant.

How's eggplant suit you?

Great.

You picked a fine time to learn a sense of humor.

I don't need you anyway.

I'll find our way out of here.

I think I got a plan.

What is this?

I don't know. I can't see nothing.

Why were they in jail?

You're right. I got a tad ahead of myself there, didn't I?

Let's start in 1845.

See, that's when Luke and Lem first met.

Oh, it was mighty lucky for Luke that they did.

Where are you going to go now, boy?

If you hand over that bag, we don't beat you too bad.

Hold on a minute.

Have any of you seen me take this money?

It's right there in your hand.

Yeah.

Yes, it's this money in my hand.

Have any of you seen me take this money?

Physically take this money from that safe with these two hands?

Well, no, no, no, I don't guess I did.

No, no, no, no. That don't mean he didn't take it, though. Right. No, but

don't mean I did.

Just because money went missing and I got money in my hand don't mean it's the

same money. It doesn't. Well, why'd you go boating out the building, then? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's a fine question.

My answer, by asking you, is it a crime?

It's a world of crime.

To run is running out of a building a crime.

No, that no, it ain't. Yes, it's not. No, no, no.

Is the act of holding on to money illegal?

No. No.

No. Okay.

So we've established that nobody saw me take this money.

Running out of a building's not a crime.

And holding on to money's not illegal.

So I think it's safe to say I've done nothing wrong here.

I can be on my way, gentlemen.

Oh, that's it.

Oh, you think you're clever, huh?

Well, you won't be so smart.

When that pretty little head of yours is all bashed up.

Looks like you boys are having some trouble.

That's none of your business, mister.

You move along now.

Understood.

Seems like you got a thief on your hands.

That's right.

No, that's not been established.

And he's gonna get what's coming to him.

And we don't need to help him here, mister.

I see.

It seems like you can't decide whose money that is.

So I'm going to make that decision for you.

The money.

And you boys have a nice day.

What now, damn it?

We're going to put a hurt on this one.

You know what?

Hey.

Hey, I could have handled that on my own. It's what I do.

Yeah, it looks like it.

What about my money?

I think we should have it.

Have it, I think.

I think you should have it.

Sometimes I got a case of lazy tongue.

I doubt that.

You had a shoot, boy?

Yeah.

I don't. You will.

What? Does this mean we're friends?

I mean, look, we can have nicknames.

I could be Lawless Luke Young, or what about Lusty Luke Young?

Huh? How about loudmouth, Luke?

I kind of like that, too.

Wait up.

Luke sounds funny.

Yeah, he sure thought so.

But anyway, after that, they were real friends.

As bad guys?

Well, no, not right at first. Actually, they fought in a Mexican war together

under Ben McCullough. Now, he's a famous major that you'll read about in school.

Will I read about Luke and Lem in school?

No, I don't think so. That would surprise me because they don't see fit

the kind of things they got into in history books.

But they were still famous.

Well, it's 1849 now.

Luke and Lem have been riding all night when they come across the harmless

little Texas settlement called Siren.

Now two horses need to be shod.

Got six men ahead of you.

Be sometime tomorrow.

They all got guns, too.

We can probably get to you today. Get them horses around back.

Si, senor.

Do you have any...

Three of a kind.

And boy, I don't want to say this has been too easy, so I'll just...

Cheater!

You son of a bitch.

Now hold on a minute.

Before you go get this place all riled up, let me explain.

Explain how you wasn't cheating?

No, I was cheating.

But this here money is going to charity.

For the poor, to be exact.

You see, me and Lim here, we're real poor.

And y 'all seem like a given bunch.

Now, if you gentlemen will excuse us for the evening, we will politely step out

of the game and have the show of good faith.

Where do you think you're going?

Sheriff, I know what you're thinking.

How is it that two outstanding gentlemen, handsome and well -hung, such

ourselves, would end up in a place with all these ugly scoundrels?

That wasn't talking about all of you. Now, Luke, that wasn't very polite.

I think you may have hurt these folks' feelings.

I think you may just be right, Len.

Why don't you say something nice?

Ease the confusion.

I'll give it a shot.

You.

Yeah, you.

You look like you got a nice personality, I hope.

And you, you possess a certain odor.

Hell, who am I kidding? I'm talking about all of you.

Even me.

Especially you, sir.

You look like you were conceived at a donkey show.

In fact, you give a leopard nightmare.

Quit playing around, man!

I know you're holding up a deputy.

You're as good of a gambler as you are a lawman.

I reckon this is where we part ways.

Nice and civil, right?

We gonna let them get away?

Nope.

Couldn't get here fast enough.

It's not on you.

Good.

I want these plastered in every town.

From here all the way to the border.

I'm talking I want them everywhere.

With no empty spaces.

You understand me, muchacho?

Yes, sir.

I'll take care of it.

I'm counting on that.

Now, I don't care if you put these on a fence post or somebody's tombstone. I

want them everywhere, you hear me?

Good.

Now, we're going to bring them back here.

But I want them dead or alive. I don't care which. You understand?

Well,

they got a head start on us.

But I want you all to get plenty of sleep.

That means we got a long ride in the morning, boys.

Now get.

Looks like us.

It is us.

What's it say?

It says wanted.

Sheriff's going to have this place crawling with his men by morning.

They would grab a quick drink, battle up, and put some time between us and

Sheriff Potten.

We don't have time for a drink.

Our faces are hanging all over this town. Pretty soon it's going to be our

All the more reason to drink.

Boys, you're something strong.

Two bourbons.

Coming up.

That will be on us.

Of course.

I think you can find some way to play it off.

Well, you boys are new faces.

Sure are.

You want to go upstairs?

You need to know us better.

Oh, yes, I do.

But we shouldn't.

Although, we can't.

Actually, we're heading out of town. We gotta be... I think you two boys are

gonna get us out of here.

I think we got the wrong man.

Same on those wanted posters, correct?

How do we know you haven't... Here you go, boys.

You all got the time.

All right.

Let's go.

I think we just got boxed.

What choice do we have?

That's them.

That's them.

Oh, would you shut it, you old drunken fool.

The poster.

Them's the boys on the poster.

See? Look, I'm saying to you, upstairs.

And with the sheriff's deputy Boyd and his men after him, Luke and Lem headed

for the high ground to let things settle.

Yeah, they never did settle, though. And soon after, the boys knew they needed

some backup of their own.

Things only got worse from there.