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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:57,403 Hey, Stifler, how come Steve got all the talent in your family? 2 00:00:57,570 --> 00:01:01,073 - Bite me, Fuck Face. - Come on, man, you're missing it. 3 00:01:01,282 --> 00:01:04,535 I've seen it a million times, you fucking ass-booger. 4 00:01:04,660 --> 00:01:08,498 - Steve is like a filmmaking genius. - A true American hero. 5 00:01:08,581 --> 00:01:10,124 The Tarantino of titties. 6 00:01:10,208 --> 00:01:12,585 Yeah, there's just no way you could ever be this good. 7 00:01:12,668 --> 00:01:14,212 Hey, look, I'm going to prove to Steve... 8 00:01:14,295 --> 00:01:17,465 that I'm up to the standards of the Stiffmeister Productions. 9 00:01:18,007 --> 00:01:20,218 After Steve sees my directing talent... 10 00:01:20,301 --> 00:01:23,721 - little bro's joining the family business. - Is that what he said? 11 00:01:23,846 --> 00:01:27,975 - He finally called you back? - No, but I left him another message. 12 00:01:29,644 --> 00:01:32,897 He'll get back to me. It's only been three weeks. 13 00:01:34,148 --> 00:01:39,362 Gentle-fucks, a toast. Tomorrow, we begin our reign as seniors. 14 00:02:41,299 --> 00:02:43,676 Okay, people, let's take a break. 15 00:02:44,051 --> 00:02:48,347 Remember, we play this at the end of the ceremony after Pomp and Circumstance. 16 00:02:48,473 --> 00:02:50,683 I don't want anyone starting the wrong song again. 17 00:02:50,808 --> 00:02:53,728 - Elyse, you need to relax, girl. - I'm fine. 18 00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:57,023 I just... You know, it's my first time up here, and... 19 00:02:57,106 --> 00:02:59,817 Yeah, but it's graduation. It ain't the Boston Pops. 20 00:02:59,901 --> 00:03:03,070 This performance sets the tone for our senior year. I mean... 21 00:03:03,196 --> 00:03:07,909 Look, you just remember that everybody here is pulling for you. 22 00:03:11,954 --> 00:03:14,582 Dork. Dork. Dork. Goose. 23 00:03:15,541 --> 00:03:19,128 - I like them feisty. - What're you doing here, Stifler? 24 00:03:19,253 --> 00:03:21,881 We just want to say sayonara, and let you fuck-necks know... 25 00:03:21,964 --> 00:03:26,844 we plan on winning the state title, now that the Stiffmeister's running the show. 26 00:03:26,969 --> 00:03:30,973 - Adios, butt-hugger. - He's a bigger asshole than his brother. 27 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,354 Holy shit, Arrianna. 28 00:03:37,271 --> 00:03:39,482 Matt, what're you doing here? 29 00:03:39,649 --> 00:03:43,861 Oh, we just want to make sure the seniors have a very memorable last day. 30 00:03:43,986 --> 00:03:46,948 That's cool. So, there's a campout tonight... 31 00:03:47,031 --> 00:03:50,117 and it's only for the grads, but you could come. 32 00:03:50,201 --> 00:03:52,870 Let me check my schedule. Hell, yeah. 33 00:03:54,163 --> 00:03:58,000 Bring your sleeping bag, in case we decide to pitch a tent. 34 00:04:02,922 --> 00:04:06,843 - Check it out. Perfect timing. - This is going to be classic. 35 00:04:07,426 --> 00:04:10,763 Time to initiate Operation Gradu-fuck-uation. 36 00:04:13,516 --> 00:04:15,393 This is gonna be awesome. 37 00:04:15,518 --> 00:04:17,311 - Shit. - Oh, yeah! Jackpot! 38 00:04:17,687 --> 00:04:21,524 Payback, seniors. Don't get that pepper spray on your hands. 39 00:04:24,610 --> 00:04:27,530 A graduation gift from the Stiffmeister. 40 00:04:31,075 --> 00:04:33,619 Dude, we should've sprayed the diplomas. 41 00:04:35,955 --> 00:04:37,498 Sorry, bandees. 42 00:04:42,670 --> 00:04:46,424 Bite my nuts and call me Skippy. It's a Steely Dan. 43 00:04:46,674 --> 00:04:49,927 - A what? - It's a double-headed dildo. 44 00:04:50,636 --> 00:04:52,096 It's a dildo. It's a dildo. 45 00:04:52,763 --> 00:04:54,974 - Holy shit. - It's even got a name. 46 00:04:56,726 --> 00:04:57,727 Picardo? 47 00:04:58,144 --> 00:05:01,230 - Spray that shit. - Fuck, no. Finders keepers. 48 00:05:01,522 --> 00:05:04,942 Okay, everybody, Pomp and Circumstance. Five-minute warning. Let's go. 49 00:05:05,026 --> 00:05:07,320 The bandees. Let's get out of here. 50 00:05:11,491 --> 00:05:13,534 - Matt? - Leesy. 51 00:05:15,077 --> 00:05:18,039 How they hanging? Still small and perky, I see. 52 00:05:18,122 --> 00:05:20,500 - That's funny. - Yeah. 53 00:05:21,584 --> 00:05:25,588 - What're you doing here, Matt? - I just came by to wish you good luck. 54 00:05:25,671 --> 00:05:28,216 - You know, on the whole music thing. - Good luck? 55 00:05:28,299 --> 00:05:31,052 You haven't said a word to me since the eighth grade. 56 00:05:31,177 --> 00:05:34,180 Yeah, and that tone of voice is exactly the reason why. 57 00:05:34,305 --> 00:05:36,682 So, I'm going to take off now. 58 00:05:40,603 --> 00:05:44,899 Ladies and gentlemen, please rise to honor our graduates. 59 00:05:45,024 --> 00:05:46,651 Douchebag's gonna miss it. 60 00:05:59,455 --> 00:06:00,790 Oh, yes. 61 00:06:04,126 --> 00:06:05,753 Are they crying? 62 00:06:08,506 --> 00:06:09,924 Holy shit! 63 00:06:16,681 --> 00:06:17,849 Yes! 64 00:06:39,370 --> 00:06:41,080 Eat shit, seniors. 65 00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:02,268 Uh oh! 66 00:07:02,643 --> 00:07:04,937 Stifler! 67 00:07:07,607 --> 00:07:11,277 I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time. 68 00:07:12,528 --> 00:07:15,323 And now, the day of reckoning has come. 69 00:07:18,576 --> 00:07:20,119 Hello, Matthew. 70 00:07:20,661 --> 00:07:23,039 Your brother must be very proud. 71 00:07:25,708 --> 00:07:27,919 You've continued his legacy. 72 00:07:28,961 --> 00:07:31,088 Tormenting the innocent... 73 00:07:31,756 --> 00:07:34,842 defiling all that is good and pure. 74 00:07:38,262 --> 00:07:40,973 But now, you're going down. 75 00:07:42,058 --> 00:07:45,228 What're you going to do, expel me, Shermanator? 76 00:07:46,646 --> 00:07:49,607 I am a sophisticated counseling machine... 77 00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:53,444 sent back in time to guide young and innocent minds. 78 00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:58,783 My primary directive is to protect the students of this institution... 79 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:02,537 and all, indeed all mankind... 80 00:08:03,329 --> 00:08:06,249 from the menace that is another Stifler. 81 00:08:06,457 --> 00:08:09,001 Behavior modification is required. 82 00:08:09,377 --> 00:08:12,213 It's not too late to change your future. 83 00:08:14,966 --> 00:08:18,886 No, expulsion would be too easy. 84 00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:25,393 I know the perfect punishment to fit your crime. 85 00:08:27,895 --> 00:08:30,982 Since you have so much trouble with the band... 86 00:08:31,190 --> 00:08:33,901 perhaps you should make friends with them. 87 00:08:33,985 --> 00:08:35,611 No fucking way. 88 00:08:37,488 --> 00:08:42,118 Either you learn to be more considerate or you will be expelled. 89 00:08:42,952 --> 00:08:44,412 No football. 90 00:08:45,413 --> 00:08:46,581 No parties. 91 00:08:46,706 --> 00:08:48,499 No spring break. 92 00:08:49,292 --> 00:08:51,836 No graduation. 93 00:08:52,211 --> 00:08:53,838 No college. 94 00:08:53,921 --> 00:08:55,631 No coeds. 95 00:08:56,507 --> 00:08:57,925 Comprende? 96 00:09:02,638 --> 00:09:04,682 Pack your bags, Stifler. 97 00:09:05,224 --> 00:09:08,019 - You're going to Band Camp. - Band Camp! 98 00:09:14,734 --> 00:09:17,028 Bullshit, trash. 99 00:09:21,741 --> 00:09:23,201 All right, Steve! Valley Girls Gone Wild. 100 00:09:24,952 --> 00:09:26,037 Fuck. 101 00:09:44,764 --> 00:09:46,015 Told you Steve'd get back to me. 102 00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:47,517 I mean, it was just a postcard... 103 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,811 but it gave me a great idea. 104 00:09:49,894 --> 00:09:50,978 Look... 105 00:09:51,103 --> 00:09:53,231 Steve's shit-head friend, Jim... 106 00:09:53,314 --> 00:09:55,775 he married this freaking nympho band-geek, Michelle. 107 00:09:55,858 --> 00:09:58,778 And he said all they do at Band Camp is screw 24/7. 108 00:09:58,861 --> 00:10:02,990 Matt, buddy, you cannot screw band chicks. There are standards. 109 00:10:04,367 --> 00:10:07,787 I'm not talking about screwing them, scrotum-breath. 110 00:10:07,912 --> 00:10:10,456 I'm talking about videotaping them. 111 00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:14,043 People love to see dorks doing that freaky shit on hidden video. 112 00:10:14,168 --> 00:10:18,005 Bandeez Gone Wild. Steve's gonna have some competition now... 113 00:10:18,172 --> 00:10:20,716 because little bro's joining the family business. 114 00:10:26,013 --> 00:10:27,640 Yeah, Spy Chest. 115 00:10:28,349 --> 00:10:29,851 Secret Video. 116 00:10:31,686 --> 00:10:32,687 Hell, yeah. 117 00:10:36,399 --> 00:10:37,733 Color night vision? I'll take it. Shit. 118 00:10:45,992 --> 00:10:47,702 How about tomorrow? This is going be great. 119 00:11:29,785 --> 00:11:32,747 Welcome to Tall Oaks 2005. 120 00:11:33,956 --> 00:11:36,751 Let's hear it from Lloyd Memorial High. 121 00:11:36,834 --> 00:11:39,212 L- L-O-Y-D! 122 00:11:40,004 --> 00:11:41,547 L- L-O-Y-D! 123 00:11:42,798 --> 00:11:44,509 - Mount St. Marie. - Mount St. Marie! 124 00:11:44,717 --> 00:11:46,093 Mount St. Marie! 125 00:11:46,177 --> 00:11:47,803 East Great Falls High. 126 00:11:48,429 --> 00:11:49,889 East Great Falls! 127 00:11:50,431 --> 00:11:51,933 East Great Falls! 128 00:11:52,809 --> 00:11:56,062 And five-time defending Tall Oaks Cup Champion... 129 00:11:56,395 --> 00:11:58,189 Beechwood Academy. 130 00:11:58,272 --> 00:12:01,025 We're Number One! We're Number One! We're Number One! 131 00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:02,276 Okay, settle down. 132 00:12:03,194 --> 00:12:05,488 Now, as you know, each year... 133 00:12:05,571 --> 00:12:08,574 one senior Tall Oaks composer is awarded... 134 00:12:08,699 --> 00:12:13,162 a full scholarship to the prestigious Robards Conservatory. 135 00:12:13,287 --> 00:12:15,414 Elyse, this is your year to win. 136 00:12:15,540 --> 00:12:18,709 This year, Dr. Susan Choi, president of Robards... 137 00:12:18,835 --> 00:12:21,754 will judge the compositions herself. 138 00:12:21,838 --> 00:12:26,300 And let's not forget to welcome the Tall Oaks Camp Counselors. 139 00:12:33,641 --> 00:12:37,895 If you visit our infirmary, Nurse Sanders will take care of your every need. 140 00:12:40,565 --> 00:12:45,111 Okay, so let's work hard, and may the best band win. 141 00:12:53,119 --> 00:12:54,203 You guys ready? 142 00:13:12,972 --> 00:13:14,515 What the fuck? 143 00:13:14,849 --> 00:13:17,310 Are you a rookie? You look lost. 144 00:13:17,685 --> 00:13:21,439 Are you an asshole? You're hairy, and you smell like shit. 145 00:13:23,107 --> 00:13:26,194 I'll ignore that kind of talk once. 146 00:13:27,361 --> 00:13:29,489 We don't speak that way here. 147 00:13:29,614 --> 00:13:34,076 Rookies are to wear their beanies at all times. Those are the rules. 148 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,954 And who made you the mayor of Geek Town? 149 00:13:37,788 --> 00:13:41,918 I'm Brandon Vandecamp, senior drum major, Beechwood Academy... 150 00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:43,711 and the president of the Tall Oaks Council. 151 00:13:43,836 --> 00:13:47,840 Oh, and who are they, Mr. President? The First Lady and Vice Pussy? 152 00:13:53,971 --> 00:13:55,348 Suits you well. 153 00:13:55,473 --> 00:14:00,186 Golly, jeepers, thanks. Hey, you know, since I'm an official band geek and all... 154 00:14:00,311 --> 00:14:02,522 can you guess what my favorite piece of music is? 155 00:14:02,647 --> 00:14:05,107 - I have no idea. - The Nutcracker. 156 00:14:07,527 --> 00:14:08,611 Step back, bitch. 157 00:14:08,694 --> 00:14:11,072 Holy mother of Mozart. 158 00:14:12,990 --> 00:14:14,075 This is bad. 159 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,869 You didn't know Jackie Chan was in the house, did you boys, huh? 160 00:14:16,953 --> 00:14:18,913 Stop that. Stop that now. 161 00:14:19,038 --> 00:14:21,332 Those knob-slobbers started it. 162 00:14:21,457 --> 00:14:24,085 That's not true, sir. We simply reminded him to wear his beanie. 163 00:14:24,168 --> 00:14:26,546 And then he viciously assaulted Brandon's genitals. 164 00:14:26,629 --> 00:14:31,092 - That's a lie, you dick-snot. - Oscar, Jimmy, escort this man to see... 165 00:14:31,342 --> 00:14:33,636 - the Macro. - The what? 166 00:14:34,136 --> 00:14:36,347 - You're dead. - Now, gentlemen. 167 00:14:37,223 --> 00:14:39,350 God, Brandon, are you okay? 168 00:14:40,434 --> 00:14:42,979 You want to tell me what the hell you're doing here, Stifler? 169 00:14:43,062 --> 00:14:45,606 It don't matter, Big O. He ain't gonna be here long. 170 00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:46,774 - Bitch! - Get over here. 171 00:14:46,899 --> 00:14:49,110 Macro gonna fuck your ass up, fool. 172 00:14:49,193 --> 00:14:51,737 - What the fuck's a macro? - The Macro. 173 00:14:51,863 --> 00:14:54,073 Morale And Conflict Resolution Officer. 174 00:14:54,157 --> 00:14:56,534 I heard this one time, this kid went into that office... 175 00:14:56,617 --> 00:14:58,327 a baritone and came out a soprano. 176 00:14:58,452 --> 00:15:01,372 - Clarinet up the ass backwards, yo. - What? 177 00:15:08,963 --> 00:15:10,298 Pussies. 178 00:15:24,187 --> 00:15:25,563 Oh, I'm sorry. 179 00:15:27,732 --> 00:15:29,859 Frankenstein. Scary stuff. 180 00:15:31,152 --> 00:15:33,529 I am just a Boris Karloff nut. 181 00:15:33,863 --> 00:15:37,909 - I'm the Macro, Mr. Levenstein. - Holy shit, you're Jim's dad. 182 00:15:38,534 --> 00:15:41,496 He screwed that redheaded nympho chick at my lake house. 183 00:15:41,579 --> 00:15:45,249 - Oh, my, you're not a Stifler? - Yeah, I'm Steve's brother, Matt. 184 00:15:46,709 --> 00:15:50,296 - There are two Stiflers? - Yes, sir. Hey, what're you doing here? 185 00:15:50,421 --> 00:15:54,425 Oh, well, Jim is now out of the house, married to Michelle... 186 00:15:54,509 --> 00:15:57,678 that redheaded nympho chick that you spoke of. 187 00:15:58,930 --> 00:16:01,849 And, being a former Tall Oaks Counselor of the Year... 188 00:16:01,974 --> 00:16:07,104 she was hired to be the Macro this summer, but she got pregnant. 189 00:16:07,438 --> 00:16:10,858 No doubt due to the tendencies you alluded to earlier. 190 00:16:10,983 --> 00:16:13,986 And I have a great rapport with young people... 191 00:16:14,111 --> 00:16:16,489 so I just stepped in and volunteered. 192 00:16:16,614 --> 00:16:20,117 That cretin is not in our band, and we are not responsible for his actions. 193 00:16:20,243 --> 00:16:22,995 - Who pissed in your piccolo? - I'm sensing some hostility here. 194 00:16:23,079 --> 00:16:24,413 - He poisoned my band. - What? 195 00:16:24,497 --> 00:16:27,500 - I'm the Macro and it's my job to deal with... - What is he doing here? 196 00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:31,003 - Matt Stifler is pure evil just like his brother. ... conflict. 197 00:16:31,087 --> 00:16:32,547 Thanks, Leesy. 198 00:16:37,385 --> 00:16:38,970 She seems nice. 199 00:16:39,929 --> 00:16:41,389 There are rules, of course. 200 00:16:41,472 --> 00:16:43,182 - You will have to wear a beanie. - Yeah. 201 00:16:43,266 --> 00:16:46,686 Oh, I know. It's a little silly, but it's tradition here... 202 00:16:46,769 --> 00:16:50,356 something you're familiar with, being on the football team, I'm sure... 203 00:16:50,481 --> 00:16:53,985 with your elephant walks and circle jerks and drinking butt beer. 204 00:16:54,110 --> 00:16:56,404 But here, you just have to wear a silly little hat and... 205 00:16:56,529 --> 00:16:59,073 - a somewhat stylish Tall Oaks T-shirt. - Yeah. 206 00:16:59,699 --> 00:17:01,742 So, just go with the flow, Matt... 207 00:17:01,826 --> 00:17:04,203 and you will have loads of fun... 208 00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:07,623 and you'll be making new friends in no time. 209 00:17:14,672 --> 00:17:17,508 Hey, Ernie Kaplowitz, tenor sax. 210 00:17:18,843 --> 00:17:21,470 Cool! I'm a rookie here, too. 211 00:17:21,721 --> 00:17:25,641 I really wanted to come last year, but Computer Camp conflicted, and... 212 00:17:25,808 --> 00:17:29,937 Oh, yeah, that was here when I arrived. I think it has your name on it. 213 00:17:32,064 --> 00:17:33,441 What is it? 214 00:17:35,234 --> 00:17:38,905 Hi, welcome to Casa de Stifler. I'll be your host, Matt. 215 00:17:39,071 --> 00:17:42,575 Every day here, I'll make it my sincere goal not to have to kick your ass. 216 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:45,536 Allow me to show you to your new accommodations. 217 00:17:46,579 --> 00:17:49,207 When I'm out here, you're in there. 218 00:17:50,416 --> 00:17:52,460 Have a great day, fucko. 219 00:17:52,752 --> 00:17:53,920 I don't... 220 00:17:57,381 --> 00:17:58,549 Okay... 221 00:17:58,633 --> 00:18:00,259 I'll just go and put this stuff away for you. 222 00:18:00,384 --> 00:18:01,636 All right. Bandee-vision. 223 00:18:04,430 --> 00:18:08,643 This is a 1978 Ohio State show... 224 00:18:08,768 --> 00:18:10,144 The Wizard Of Oz. 225 00:18:10,228 --> 00:18:13,981 The one where the sousaphone player forgot to dot the I? Oh, hey. 226 00:18:15,983 --> 00:18:18,694 Yeah, right. Freaks. 227 00:18:20,696 --> 00:18:23,157 Never fear, the Stiffmeister's here. 228 00:18:23,241 --> 00:18:26,410 Band Camp just got a whole lot better, ladies. 229 00:18:26,536 --> 00:18:29,080 You're Steve Stifler's younger brother, aren't you? 230 00:18:29,205 --> 00:18:30,998 - Young and hung. - Great. 231 00:18:31,165 --> 00:18:34,502 - Could you send him a message for me? - No problem, senorita. 232 00:18:41,676 --> 00:18:46,055 Well, it looks like Steve gave someone the old Stifler bang-and-boot. 233 00:18:47,181 --> 00:18:50,434 - Is there a problem here? - No, everything's fine. 234 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,773 - Have fun at Band Camp. - Thank you, I will. 235 00:18:59,777 --> 00:19:02,071 - Later. - Word. 236 00:19:02,613 --> 00:19:05,366 You need to start showing some respect around here, Stifler. 237 00:19:05,491 --> 00:19:08,911 You need to show yourself back to your table, Big Dog. 238 00:19:08,995 --> 00:19:10,788 Out of my way, Yo. 239 00:19:12,206 --> 00:19:16,252 Hola, chicas. Elyse, so good to see you again. 240 00:19:16,586 --> 00:19:19,672 So, what's going on tonight? We gonna party, get a little crazy? 241 00:19:19,797 --> 00:19:22,341 Who wants to rack up a few frequent fucker miles? 242 00:19:22,466 --> 00:19:25,553 - You know, you are the most... - Most sexy man ever to come to Band Camp. 243 00:19:25,636 --> 00:19:29,682 - What? Chloe, he is so obnoxious. - Sexy obnoxious. 244 00:19:29,765 --> 00:19:32,852 - Thank you. - I'm tired of messing around with these... 245 00:19:32,935 --> 00:19:34,812 dorky-ass nice guys... 246 00:19:34,979 --> 00:19:37,190 and sensitive-artist types. 247 00:19:37,607 --> 00:19:42,153 - Let's party with a real hombre tonight. - Hell, yeah. That's me: 248 00:19:42,695 --> 00:19:46,699 - 100% hombre. - All right, my room, 8:00. 249 00:19:47,867 --> 00:19:51,537 Great first day, campers. This is your Macro speaking... 250 00:19:51,621 --> 00:19:55,124 and, hey, morale couldn't have been higher today. 251 00:19:55,249 --> 00:19:58,002 So hop in the sack, and get a good night's sleep because... 252 00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:02,340 starting tomorrow, we have many, many exciting activities planned... 253 00:20:02,423 --> 00:20:06,177 not the least of which is the race for the Tall Oaks Cup. 254 00:20:06,344 --> 00:20:08,387 So let the games begin. 255 00:20:08,679 --> 00:20:12,600 Bandeez Gone Wild. Scene One. Party hombre. 256 00:20:17,522 --> 00:20:21,818 It's called Strip Trivia. We made it up. It's a Band Camp tradition. 257 00:20:22,193 --> 00:20:26,489 "Fourth and Long," "Sextuplets," "Banging Babes," and "Who Blew Me?" 258 00:20:26,614 --> 00:20:29,784 This looks like my kind of game. Shall we play? 259 00:20:30,785 --> 00:20:33,788 You sit in the middle. Your game, my seating chart. 260 00:20:33,913 --> 00:20:35,456 Sit a little closer, ladies. 261 00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:37,834 Don't be scared. It's all right. 262 00:20:37,959 --> 00:20:39,126 Okay... 263 00:20:39,418 --> 00:20:42,421 the rules are simple. You choose a category and a question... 264 00:20:42,505 --> 00:20:44,966 and every time you miss, you strip. 265 00:20:45,049 --> 00:20:46,133 Hell, yeah. 266 00:20:46,217 --> 00:20:49,887 - I'll go first. "Who Blew Me?" - Good. 267 00:20:53,182 --> 00:20:57,645 I am a silver Stradivarius trumpet played by a Pulitzer Prize winner. 268 00:20:58,688 --> 00:21:00,022 Who blew me? 269 00:21:00,189 --> 00:21:02,650 - Yeah, like I'd know. - Sorry. 270 00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:04,360 Lose the shoes, and pick again. 271 00:21:04,443 --> 00:21:06,404 You didn't tell me this shit was about music. 272 00:21:06,487 --> 00:21:10,074 - Well, it is Band Camp, moron. - Hey, to be fair... 273 00:21:10,408 --> 00:21:13,411 maybe we should just give him a head start. 274 00:21:16,998 --> 00:21:18,708 All right. Yeah. 275 00:21:19,917 --> 00:21:21,627 Okay, all right. All right. 276 00:21:23,254 --> 00:21:26,174 What's wrong with you? Scared to show off the mosquito bites? 277 00:21:26,257 --> 00:21:29,010 I've matured since the fourth grade, Matt. Have you? 278 00:21:29,093 --> 00:21:32,096 Oh, I've got 10 pounds of dangling maturity right here, Leesy. 279 00:21:32,221 --> 00:21:35,183 - Quit calling me that. - Okay, okay, moving on. 280 00:21:35,892 --> 00:21:40,104 - Matt, just pick another question, please. - All right, screw it. Whatever. 281 00:21:40,771 --> 00:21:42,982 There you go. Suck on that. 282 00:21:44,567 --> 00:21:47,278 - Fourth and Long. - Sure, no problem. 283 00:21:50,573 --> 00:21:55,036 Of Beethoven's major symphonies, which has the longest fourth movement? 284 00:21:55,995 --> 00:21:57,872 All right, I see where this is going. 285 00:21:57,955 --> 00:22:00,666 Fine, you win. 286 00:22:05,129 --> 00:22:06,380 I free ball, ladies. 287 00:22:07,048 --> 00:22:11,260 Got to let the big boys breathe. All right, we play by my rules now. 288 00:22:11,719 --> 00:22:14,639 Football questions only. Prepare to strip, ladies. 289 00:22:15,389 --> 00:22:18,976 - Wait. But first, does anybody want a beer? - I do. 290 00:22:19,477 --> 00:22:24,440 The counselors have a secret stash in the fridge across the hall. 291 00:22:24,607 --> 00:22:28,444 - Would you mind? - Now we're talking about a fucking party. 292 00:22:28,569 --> 00:22:30,363 Stiffy'll be back in a jiffy. 293 00:22:32,657 --> 00:22:35,201 I mean, there's nobody around... 294 00:22:35,326 --> 00:22:37,703 and we haven't seen your best side yet. 295 00:22:44,377 --> 00:22:46,587 Yes! We got him. 296 00:22:48,673 --> 00:22:50,466 So busted. 297 00:22:58,266 --> 00:23:00,810 Man, big boys, wake up. 298 00:23:00,893 --> 00:23:03,354 Just gotta turn down the A.C. In there, huh? 299 00:23:03,479 --> 00:23:04,647 Good night, girls. 300 00:23:12,029 --> 00:23:14,657 Sorry, asshole, game's over. 301 00:23:14,866 --> 00:23:19,245 Yeah, the big boys will love the long walk home. 302 00:23:20,163 --> 00:23:21,956 Room check, girls. 303 00:23:23,416 --> 00:23:24,500 Oh, shit. 304 00:23:24,876 --> 00:23:27,086 - Ditch his clothes. - Out the window. 305 00:23:27,879 --> 00:23:30,339 All right, who wants a long neck? 306 00:23:37,221 --> 00:23:38,931 Nurse Sanders. 307 00:23:41,767 --> 00:23:44,228 - They set me up. - He attacked us with pepper spray... 308 00:23:44,353 --> 00:23:47,064 - and ruined our graduation. - I went there for a friendly game... 309 00:23:47,148 --> 00:23:48,232 Hold it. Hold it. Kids. 310 00:23:48,316 --> 00:23:50,359 Okay... 311 00:23:50,610 --> 00:23:52,320 where are your clothes? 312 00:23:55,031 --> 00:23:56,491 I have them. 313 00:23:57,116 --> 00:23:59,076 - May I ask why? - Well, they got me naked... 314 00:23:59,202 --> 00:24:02,455 - Oh, whatever. He took his own pants off... - And they stole my clothes. 315 00:24:02,538 --> 00:24:05,291 And I got stuck up there with Mrs. Doubtfire checking out my... 316 00:24:11,464 --> 00:24:13,424 Let me see if I have this straight. 317 00:24:13,591 --> 00:24:18,221 Elyse, you think Matt is an arrogant jock who wears his penis on his forehead... 318 00:24:18,346 --> 00:24:21,766 just to gain the approval of his sociopathic brother. 319 00:24:21,849 --> 00:24:25,770 And Matt, you think Elyse is an uptight, geeky prude... 320 00:24:25,853 --> 00:24:28,606 who needs to loosen up and get laid. 321 00:24:28,689 --> 00:24:31,859 Excuse the expression, dear. Is that close to being on the money? 322 00:24:33,653 --> 00:24:34,821 Look, kids... 323 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,825 the only way to solve your differences... 324 00:24:39,534 --> 00:24:41,160 is by working together. 325 00:24:42,370 --> 00:24:44,163 So why don't you start tomorrow... 326 00:24:44,580 --> 00:24:47,667 by putting one foot in front of the other? 327 00:24:51,337 --> 00:24:53,130 Left flank hut. 328 00:24:55,591 --> 00:24:57,051 Turn and hut. 329 00:25:04,767 --> 00:25:06,018 What the fuck! 330 00:25:07,562 --> 00:25:09,355 Band 10 hut! 331 00:25:09,647 --> 00:25:10,648 Holy shit. 332 00:25:11,232 --> 00:25:14,735 When I yell "band 10 hut," you snap firmly at attention. 333 00:25:14,861 --> 00:25:18,531 - You want to see me firmly at attention? - I already have. I wasn't impressed. 334 00:25:21,492 --> 00:25:22,660 Look... 335 00:25:23,578 --> 00:25:25,538 we've never beaten Beechwood, okay? 336 00:25:26,455 --> 00:25:28,332 For some of us, it's our last shot. 337 00:25:31,169 --> 00:25:32,753 Just stop screwing up, okay? 338 00:25:32,837 --> 00:25:34,255 Yeah, asshole. 339 00:25:36,841 --> 00:25:39,051 Okay, people, back to work, let's go. Whatever. 340 00:25:39,177 --> 00:25:40,553 I don't need this shit. 341 00:25:40,636 --> 00:25:43,097 Reset the block. Front ranks, right here. 342 00:25:57,069 --> 00:25:58,404 Housekeeping. 343 00:26:25,848 --> 00:26:28,226 Oscar, brought me something to drink? 344 00:26:28,559 --> 00:26:31,562 - Come on. - Good looking out, baby. 345 00:26:34,148 --> 00:26:35,858 Hey, it's Ernie Crapowitz. 346 00:26:35,983 --> 00:26:39,070 So you finally came out of the closet. Good for you. 347 00:26:40,488 --> 00:26:43,032 Look, I want to know what goes on at night, all right? 348 00:26:43,115 --> 00:26:45,743 All the crazy shit. Naked pillow fights, whatever. 349 00:26:45,827 --> 00:26:49,330 Do I look like the guy that's in charge of the naked pillow fights, huh? 350 00:26:49,413 --> 00:26:50,957 It's my first time here. 351 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,208 Notice the beanie? 352 00:26:52,333 --> 00:26:53,417 Yes. 353 00:26:54,418 --> 00:26:55,878 Yes, I do. 354 00:26:55,962 --> 00:26:59,298 Yes, speaking of beanies, where's yours, Stifler? 355 00:26:59,674 --> 00:27:01,634 You still not following the rules, huh? 356 00:27:01,717 --> 00:27:03,594 - Let's see. - Look. He's getting in trouble again. 357 00:27:03,719 --> 00:27:07,140 No standard-issue Tall Oaks T-shirt and no beanie. 358 00:27:07,223 --> 00:27:10,560 I believe that's two points from Great Falls, Mr. Nelson. 359 00:27:10,810 --> 00:27:12,687 Tell you what, Vande-cramp... 360 00:27:13,020 --> 00:27:15,773 what if I took his beanie... 361 00:27:15,898 --> 00:27:18,651 and put it on my weenie? 362 00:27:18,734 --> 00:27:22,780 How do you like that Vande-cramp? It's on my head, right? 363 00:27:22,989 --> 00:27:25,199 Make it five points from Great Falls. 364 00:27:25,408 --> 00:27:26,659 Five points. 365 00:27:26,784 --> 00:27:29,954 Man, this place sucks donkey ass. 366 00:27:35,042 --> 00:27:36,752 Put your beanie on, Son. 367 00:27:42,633 --> 00:27:44,594 Five points. 368 00:28:07,950 --> 00:28:10,244 Stay still. Stop moving. 369 00:28:10,328 --> 00:28:12,038 He ain't going nowhere now. 370 00:28:12,163 --> 00:28:15,500 This isn't your world. This is our world, and we don't want you in it. 371 00:28:15,583 --> 00:28:17,793 You already cost us five points in the standings. 372 00:28:17,919 --> 00:28:19,712 We can't have that. 373 00:28:19,962 --> 00:28:21,672 Set the man up with his beanie. 374 00:28:29,430 --> 00:28:31,307 Now you're representing, fool. 375 00:28:31,432 --> 00:28:32,683 And this toothpaste... 376 00:28:32,809 --> 00:28:35,520 this will make up for the pepper spray, asshole. 377 00:28:49,408 --> 00:28:50,952 Oh, shit. 378 00:28:51,661 --> 00:28:54,038 I'll get the paint thinner from maintenance. 379 00:28:55,665 --> 00:28:57,041 Animals. 380 00:29:07,510 --> 00:29:11,639 Matt, you were sent here... 381 00:29:12,056 --> 00:29:13,516 to make a change. 382 00:29:13,683 --> 00:29:17,436 And, so far, you've only had your sinuses sanitized. So... 383 00:29:17,812 --> 00:29:20,189 I think it's time to try a new approach. 384 00:29:20,690 --> 00:29:22,483 Make some friends. 385 00:29:24,235 --> 00:29:26,028 Earn their trust. 386 00:29:28,322 --> 00:29:30,616 Why would I want to earn their trust? 387 00:29:33,870 --> 00:29:35,413 Good. 388 00:29:42,587 --> 00:29:44,630 Welcome to Stifler-vision. 389 00:29:44,755 --> 00:29:47,216 I think there's a cymbal class at 1:00. 390 00:29:47,425 --> 00:29:48,593 I hate that. 391 00:29:48,718 --> 00:29:50,928 Yeah, but it's better than the bass drum relay. 392 00:29:51,012 --> 00:29:52,263 Yeah, that's true. 393 00:30:02,857 --> 00:30:05,067 Yours look totally fantastic. 394 00:30:05,151 --> 00:30:08,404 Two for the price of one. My left one's bigger, see? 395 00:30:08,488 --> 00:30:11,407 - Yeah, mine, too, baby. - They can totally fix that. 396 00:30:27,423 --> 00:30:29,133 - No! - Want to see? 397 00:30:29,258 --> 00:30:31,802 - I used to be... - Lens fog. No! 398 00:30:43,147 --> 00:30:46,984 - What is that thing, butt weasel? - Yeah, it's the KR3, baby. 399 00:30:47,109 --> 00:30:50,780 The Kaplowitz Remote Robotic Rover. And you are so busted. 400 00:30:50,863 --> 00:30:54,450 - Hey, Oscar, somebody call the Macro. - Dude, please, shut up. 401 00:30:54,534 --> 00:30:58,287 Pull your panties out of your ass. I can help you with that chick. 402 00:31:02,083 --> 00:31:03,167 What chick? 403 00:31:03,251 --> 00:31:05,711 Dude, the one with all the tattoos. The Tubanator. 404 00:31:05,837 --> 00:31:07,296 Her name is Chloe. 405 00:31:07,922 --> 00:31:11,259 Come on, man. I can help. I'm the Stiffmeister. 406 00:31:11,384 --> 00:31:14,178 - Master of love and romance. - Bullshit. 407 00:31:14,345 --> 00:31:18,808 I nailed three cheerleaders in one week on spring break. College cheerleaders. 408 00:31:29,318 --> 00:31:31,779 And I know why your camera spritzed out. 409 00:31:34,532 --> 00:31:36,492 Dude, this thing is awesome. 410 00:31:37,076 --> 00:31:40,163 - You ever use this to look up chicks' skirts? - No. 411 00:31:40,246 --> 00:31:42,623 But I did use it to win the State Science Fair last year. 412 00:31:42,707 --> 00:31:45,001 And I'm hoping it gets me into MIT next fall. 413 00:31:45,084 --> 00:31:47,128 I really want to work for NASA. 414 00:31:47,336 --> 00:31:49,797 National Anal Sex Association? 415 00:31:50,047 --> 00:31:51,757 No it's Space... 416 00:31:52,592 --> 00:31:57,221 - There's an Anal Sex Association? - Oh, yeah, but you've got to be a pro. 417 00:31:58,848 --> 00:32:00,975 Wait, there's a Space Association? 418 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:04,520 You were supposed to use this. 419 00:32:05,813 --> 00:32:10,026 - See, it's got an anti-fog lens. Duh. - Yeah, good. 420 00:32:11,110 --> 00:32:15,990 - Can the robot record? - All right, so, what are your intentions? 421 00:32:17,450 --> 00:32:19,911 With the video, I mean. What are you doing? 422 00:32:20,036 --> 00:32:21,579 Oh, it's just for fun. 423 00:32:21,871 --> 00:32:25,291 I mean, who doesn't like to look at hot naked chicks, right? 424 00:32:26,792 --> 00:32:29,337 Keep it between us, and I'll let you watch. 425 00:32:29,670 --> 00:32:33,257 Plus, I'll have you giving Chloe the pelvic noogie inside a week. 426 00:32:34,550 --> 00:32:36,511 Hey, Stifler. Phone. 427 00:32:36,719 --> 00:32:38,513 We're in Detroit! 428 00:32:39,180 --> 00:32:41,891 Locked into sweet Brazilian rum. 429 00:32:41,974 --> 00:32:44,727 I'm fucking fubar, man! 430 00:32:44,811 --> 00:32:49,106 I sent you rum today. Could come in handy in Dorksville. 431 00:32:49,232 --> 00:32:50,858 This place blows. 432 00:32:52,109 --> 00:32:53,820 Hey, my roommate, Dr. Robot... 433 00:32:53,903 --> 00:32:56,030 busted me taping some college chicks in the shower. 434 00:32:56,155 --> 00:32:58,282 So now I have to be all nice to him and shit. 435 00:32:58,366 --> 00:33:01,702 And I'm not getting any good footage 'cause these fucking bandees hate me. 436 00:33:03,454 --> 00:33:05,665 Think of it like trying to hook up with a virgin. 437 00:33:05,748 --> 00:33:09,335 Act like you give a shit about them until they bring you into the good stuff. 438 00:33:09,418 --> 00:33:11,295 Earn their trust? 439 00:33:11,921 --> 00:33:13,881 Dude, that could work. 440 00:33:14,006 --> 00:33:16,551 I'll be an undercover bandee fucker. 441 00:33:17,468 --> 00:33:20,972 Hello, everyone. Isn't it a peachy day here at Band Camp? 442 00:33:21,180 --> 00:33:25,017 Band buds. How's it going? Yo. 443 00:33:25,810 --> 00:33:29,730 Hey, I just want to say thanks for the little wakeup call. You kidders. 444 00:33:30,898 --> 00:33:33,985 Hey, I can finally hear the music calling me, okay? 445 00:33:35,236 --> 00:33:38,072 There. Hear it? Yeah. Me, too. 446 00:33:38,322 --> 00:33:42,952 So I'm a totally new man, and... By the way, you both look great in pantyhose. 447 00:33:53,379 --> 00:33:56,632 - What are you doing? - Awaiting my marching lesson, ma'am. 448 00:33:56,757 --> 00:33:59,218 Look, Matt, I really don't have time for this right now. 449 00:33:59,302 --> 00:34:02,805 No, look, I figure I'm here, I might as well make the best of it. 450 00:34:02,930 --> 00:34:06,350 Matt, marching's hard, okay? It's not like throwing some football. 451 00:34:06,434 --> 00:34:10,104 - Oh, you ever thrown into double coverage? - You ever high-stepped in double time? 452 00:34:10,188 --> 00:34:13,691 Yes, ma'am, the time the cops chased us across Koreno's Creek. 453 00:34:14,317 --> 00:34:17,195 And you got so scared, you cried. 454 00:34:17,945 --> 00:34:22,033 - I had allergies. - It was winter, Mattie. 455 00:34:23,034 --> 00:34:26,454 Well, if you don't teach me to march, I might just cry again. 456 00:34:30,082 --> 00:34:31,250 Fine. 457 00:34:31,542 --> 00:34:35,588 Left foot on one and three, right foot on two and four. 458 00:34:35,671 --> 00:34:37,215 You have to do math? 459 00:34:45,807 --> 00:34:49,727 One, two, three, middle. One, two, three, line. 460 00:34:49,811 --> 00:34:52,021 Right foot on four. 461 00:34:54,273 --> 00:34:56,818 - Keep your step size even. - My what? 462 00:34:58,361 --> 00:35:01,864 All right, there we go, little buddy. I'm gonna fix you up good. 463 00:35:03,366 --> 00:35:08,162 Any girl that knows how to play a tuba, she can do things. That's what Stifler says. 464 00:35:08,287 --> 00:35:10,915 I don't know what it means, but it's got to be good. 465 00:35:10,998 --> 00:35:12,250 You're good to go. 466 00:35:12,333 --> 00:35:13,876 Let's go find Chloe. 467 00:35:26,681 --> 00:35:27,849 Holy shit. 468 00:35:29,142 --> 00:35:32,395 What the hell? Who's doing this? 469 00:35:34,772 --> 00:35:35,857 Take it. 470 00:35:35,982 --> 00:35:37,066 It's okay. 471 00:35:46,742 --> 00:35:50,329 - Thanks, little creepy machine. - You're welcome... 472 00:35:50,746 --> 00:35:52,456 beautiful lady. 473 00:36:07,763 --> 00:36:12,059 With my right, with my right, but I can also do it with my left, with my left. 474 00:36:15,563 --> 00:36:16,647 Bootie. 475 00:36:18,065 --> 00:36:19,150 Good game. 476 00:36:25,406 --> 00:36:27,200 You just touched my bootie. 477 00:36:34,290 --> 00:36:36,667 - What's that? - Your instrument. 478 00:36:37,168 --> 00:36:38,961 That's fucking gay. 479 00:36:40,004 --> 00:36:42,131 - I mean lame. - Good. 480 00:36:42,924 --> 00:36:45,760 Now, there are two positions. 481 00:36:46,427 --> 00:36:50,598 Carrying position, like this, and playing position, like this. 482 00:36:50,765 --> 00:36:52,475 Now when I call, "horns up"... 483 00:36:52,558 --> 00:36:54,602 you're gonna move your instrument out, and then... 484 00:36:54,727 --> 00:36:56,354 Hello, losers. 485 00:36:56,562 --> 00:37:00,316 Matt. Oh, my God. Matt, I am so sorry. 486 00:37:00,441 --> 00:37:02,652 - I think I bit a hole in my tongue. - Oh, let me see. 487 00:37:02,777 --> 00:37:05,321 - No, no hole. - On today's... 488 00:37:05,404 --> 00:37:08,741 episode wasting time on lost causes. 489 00:37:09,450 --> 00:37:13,579 Speaking of which, I understand you composed the music to your show, Elyse... 490 00:37:13,663 --> 00:37:15,289 if you call that music. 491 00:37:15,373 --> 00:37:17,834 Yeah. That's right. I did. 492 00:37:17,917 --> 00:37:20,127 And who'd your daddy hire to compose yours? 493 00:37:20,211 --> 00:37:25,174 I'm just giving you fair warning, cupcake. Robards Scholarship is mine. 494 00:37:25,675 --> 00:37:27,051 Like you need it. 495 00:37:27,385 --> 00:37:30,388 It's not a matter of need. It's a matter of want. 496 00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:34,100 - Yeah, I get what I want. - Why don't you shut the fuck up? 497 00:37:34,183 --> 00:37:35,434 Matt, don't. 498 00:37:36,477 --> 00:37:39,230 - What are you going to do? - Kick your ass. 499 00:37:39,438 --> 00:37:41,232 - Are you challenging me? - No. 500 00:37:41,315 --> 00:37:44,652 - Yeah, what if I am? - No, Brandon, that is not what he's doing. 501 00:37:44,777 --> 00:37:47,613 I accept. Amphitheatre, 5:00. 502 00:37:47,989 --> 00:37:50,825 It's been three years since I've been challenged. 503 00:37:51,117 --> 00:37:52,994 We got a challenge. 504 00:37:55,705 --> 00:37:58,082 I look forward to reminding people why. 505 00:37:58,916 --> 00:38:00,418 East Great Falls. 506 00:38:00,710 --> 00:38:02,837 I'll see you there, asshole. 507 00:38:04,714 --> 00:38:08,551 - Do you know what you just did? - Doesn't matter. He's going down. 508 00:38:08,634 --> 00:38:11,304 Matt, you challenged him to a duel. 509 00:38:11,596 --> 00:38:12,763 With swords? 510 00:38:13,431 --> 00:38:17,268 No, you idiot. You each get on stage and perform. 511 00:38:17,351 --> 00:38:19,395 And the crowd decides who wins. 512 00:38:19,896 --> 00:38:21,772 Can't we just do keg stands? 513 00:38:22,398 --> 00:38:26,777 Matt, this is serious, okay? Beechwood gets five points if he wins... 514 00:38:26,903 --> 00:38:30,156 which, you know, he will because he plays an instrument. 515 00:38:30,406 --> 00:38:32,200 Well, so do I. 516 00:38:32,742 --> 00:38:35,536 Let the Tall Oaks Battle Royale begin. 517 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,956 The prize is five points towards the cup. 518 00:38:39,916 --> 00:38:41,876 Okay, Brandon, you're up first. 519 00:39:25,878 --> 00:39:27,129 Come on! 520 00:39:29,507 --> 00:39:32,051 Suck on that, bitch. 521 00:39:33,094 --> 00:39:34,345 Lame. 522 00:39:35,137 --> 00:39:36,681 This is so embarrassing. 523 00:39:36,806 --> 00:39:38,057 Okay, Brandon. 524 00:39:38,141 --> 00:39:39,767 Now you show him, Brandon. 525 00:39:57,702 --> 00:39:58,870 Take that! 526 00:40:10,548 --> 00:40:13,301 Well, seems this contest is over. 527 00:40:14,010 --> 00:40:16,387 Figures. We just lost five points. 528 00:40:19,015 --> 00:40:22,018 And the winner by forfeit is... 529 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,147 But I know it's not his fault... 530 00:40:49,420 --> 00:40:51,130 You don't know the words. 531 00:41:12,944 --> 00:41:14,529 He should shave that. 532 00:41:17,365 --> 00:41:18,991 East Great Falls! 533 00:41:19,617 --> 00:41:21,410 East Great Falls! 534 00:41:21,744 --> 00:41:23,621 East Great Falls! 535 00:41:24,330 --> 00:41:25,957 East Great Falls! 536 00:41:29,126 --> 00:41:31,671 Okay, five points to Great Falls. 537 00:41:33,589 --> 00:41:35,550 All right, Great Falls! 538 00:41:37,969 --> 00:41:40,096 East Great Falls! 539 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:43,474 East Great Falls! 540 00:41:44,559 --> 00:41:46,686 East Great Falls! 541 00:41:46,769 --> 00:41:48,729 East Great Falls! 542 00:41:50,356 --> 00:41:52,066 Hey, hey... 543 00:41:52,150 --> 00:41:54,193 - Hey. - What? 544 00:41:54,318 --> 00:41:56,863 - Are you really Scottish? - Fuck, no. 545 00:41:57,905 --> 00:41:59,282 My mum made me learn an instrument. 546 00:41:59,365 --> 00:42:01,242 That's the most annoying one I could think of. 547 00:42:01,325 --> 00:42:05,079 I think you were just born to squeeze sacks and blow pipes, Stifler. 548 00:42:05,329 --> 00:42:06,664 Hey, Oscar. 549 00:42:11,377 --> 00:42:14,046 How many other Oscars do you know? Go! 550 00:42:16,424 --> 00:42:18,801 - What's up? - Your drum line sounds pretty tight. 551 00:42:18,926 --> 00:42:20,011 Oh, thanks. 552 00:42:20,094 --> 00:42:22,138 You let me know if you want to learn some new moves. 553 00:42:22,346 --> 00:42:23,431 Really? 554 00:42:23,556 --> 00:42:26,267 - He's gonna screw it up. - He's definitely gonna screw it up. 555 00:42:27,810 --> 00:42:32,023 - Thanks for winning those points back. - I lost them. I had to get them back. 556 00:42:32,899 --> 00:42:35,985 Hey, guys, Sheree's gonna show me some moves. 557 00:42:36,527 --> 00:42:37,612 Hey, gang... 558 00:42:37,695 --> 00:42:42,074 just a little reminder that as the battle for the cup heats up, let's try to remember... 559 00:42:43,284 --> 00:42:46,787 to keep up that Tall Oaks spirit of fair play and friendly competition. 560 00:42:47,622 --> 00:42:49,999 We'll have enough spit for a six-pack. 561 00:42:53,252 --> 00:42:56,214 - Yeah, baby, you did me proud, son. - Thanks, J. Lo. 562 00:42:56,297 --> 00:42:57,757 It's cool. Big O? 563 00:42:58,132 --> 00:43:01,135 Quite a little show you put on yesterday, Stifler. 564 00:43:01,302 --> 00:43:04,138 You know, these plebes think you're some kind of hero. 565 00:43:04,222 --> 00:43:06,432 I don't know what a plebe is, Vande-creep. 566 00:43:06,557 --> 00:43:09,727 Didn't anybody tell you not to mess with the big dog while he's eating? 567 00:43:09,852 --> 00:43:12,605 It's mine, jerk-wad. Now will you give it back? 568 00:43:14,065 --> 00:43:17,318 - Dildos. - This is still my camp, asshole. 569 00:43:17,568 --> 00:43:20,112 - You're going down. - No, I'm not. 570 00:43:20,196 --> 00:43:21,280 But your mum did last night. 571 00:43:21,405 --> 00:43:24,742 Did she play the trumpet? Because she has really strong lips. 572 00:43:24,992 --> 00:43:26,244 That's right. 573 00:43:41,968 --> 00:43:43,135 Yummy. 574 00:43:46,889 --> 00:43:48,850 That's what I'm talking about. 575 00:43:50,059 --> 00:43:53,020 - What happened this time, Claire? - Well, I was working on my solo... 576 00:43:53,104 --> 00:43:54,564 and I hurt myself. 577 00:43:55,439 --> 00:43:57,233 I've been fucking poisoned. 578 00:43:58,568 --> 00:44:01,279 Ipecac is a natural herbal extract... 579 00:44:01,362 --> 00:44:04,365 that triggers the regurgitation reflex. 580 00:44:08,744 --> 00:44:11,455 Whatever's in there should be out soon enough. 581 00:44:11,747 --> 00:44:13,457 Like him, if we're lucky. 582 00:44:15,501 --> 00:44:19,088 Well, I'm pretty sure it's probably just something... 583 00:44:19,463 --> 00:44:23,843 you had for lunch, you know? I've got the same problem. Very sensitive stomach. 584 00:44:24,468 --> 00:44:27,889 I was at a banquet once. On the same plate, if you can believe it... 585 00:44:27,972 --> 00:44:33,186 they had creamed venison, squid fritters, and jellied pork. 586 00:44:38,816 --> 00:44:39,901 What? 587 00:45:00,838 --> 00:45:03,549 - Hey, what's up, crust bucket? - Come here, dude. Check this out. 588 00:45:03,633 --> 00:45:07,303 So, this afternoon, while the counselors were practicing for the talent show... 589 00:45:07,386 --> 00:45:09,931 I faked an asthma attack, and I changed both of the cameras. 590 00:45:14,185 --> 00:45:16,854 It's their talent show routine, au naturel. 591 00:45:17,230 --> 00:45:19,941 Dude, you filthy little cyberfucker. Shit. 592 00:45:20,775 --> 00:45:25,238 - Hey, I thought we were just going to watch. - Exactly, we may want to watch it again. 593 00:45:31,702 --> 00:45:36,582 Hey, so, I took your advice about Chloe. I used the Rover to deliver a soda. 594 00:45:37,166 --> 00:45:41,003 - That was your cool, crazy idea? - Yeah, I think she actually liked it. 595 00:45:41,087 --> 00:45:44,090 - Yeah, that sounds gay. - It's not gay. 596 00:45:45,675 --> 00:45:48,553 Anyway, there's this bonfire-slushee party tonight... 597 00:45:48,636 --> 00:45:51,889 and I really need to know Step Two in the Stiffmeister plan. 598 00:45:51,973 --> 00:45:55,560 Slushee party. Really. 599 00:45:55,893 --> 00:45:57,478 Special delivery. 600 00:45:57,603 --> 00:45:59,313 Prepare to jam with the bearded clam. 601 00:46:00,606 --> 00:46:02,150 Get ready to cuddle the love puddle. 602 00:46:02,275 --> 00:46:05,611 The time has come for Dr. Robot to get laid. 603 00:46:05,820 --> 00:46:06,904 Get laid? 604 00:46:07,071 --> 00:46:09,740 I told you, trust the Stiffmeister. 605 00:46:09,991 --> 00:46:12,743 Meister means "master" in German. 606 00:46:13,661 --> 00:46:17,957 Get her drunk? That's the secret of the ages? That's Step Number Two? 607 00:46:18,082 --> 00:46:23,045 No, actually, it's Step Four. You don't have the balls for Two or the tongue for Three. 608 00:46:23,212 --> 00:46:24,672 I've got the balls. 609 00:46:25,256 --> 00:46:27,800 Hey, you haven't heard Step Five yet. 610 00:46:31,596 --> 00:46:35,266 Born to be wild 611 00:46:38,936 --> 00:46:42,607 Well, I'm hot blooded Check it and see 612 00:46:42,982 --> 00:46:46,736 I've got a fever of 103 613 00:46:46,861 --> 00:46:49,614 Come on baby Do you do more than dance? 614 00:46:51,449 --> 00:46:54,202 - This is some good shit. - Don't enjoy it too much. 615 00:46:54,327 --> 00:46:57,747 - We have a big practice tomorrow, you guys. - Relax, Leesy. 616 00:46:58,206 --> 00:47:01,375 Suckle the tender fruits of Band Camp with your friends. 617 00:47:01,542 --> 00:47:05,296 Come on, Elyse. Cut loose a little bit. Have some fun. 618 00:47:05,421 --> 00:47:06,756 I am having fun. 619 00:47:06,839 --> 00:47:09,842 Hey, horn dog, let's go get some more of these before they run out. 620 00:47:09,926 --> 00:47:12,303 - All right. - Horn dog? 621 00:47:12,428 --> 00:47:16,974 Yeah, it's his nickname. Dude will stick his dick into anything. It's unnatural. 622 00:47:17,975 --> 00:47:21,813 Check it, dawg. This one time at Band Camp, I fucked an oboe. 623 00:47:22,897 --> 00:47:25,274 - Really? - Blow in it for a while... 624 00:47:25,358 --> 00:47:29,987 get that wood nice and warm, slap on some valve oil and go to town, yo. 625 00:47:30,196 --> 00:47:32,323 Hey, maybe you should try a flute. 626 00:47:36,994 --> 00:47:39,455 Now's a good time to teach you those moves. 627 00:47:39,580 --> 00:47:40,581 Really? 628 00:47:46,254 --> 00:47:47,421 What? 629 00:48:01,894 --> 00:48:03,271 I know what you're doing. 630 00:48:03,354 --> 00:48:07,483 - You do? - It's what you always do. You're a fake. 631 00:48:07,733 --> 00:48:10,820 You do whatever it takes to be the centre of attention. 632 00:48:10,945 --> 00:48:14,782 Just like when we were kids, around me, you were regular old Matt... 633 00:48:15,158 --> 00:48:18,494 but around Steve and his friends, you were the Stiffmeister. 634 00:48:19,662 --> 00:48:21,289 Who're you going to be tonight? 635 00:48:21,414 --> 00:48:23,040 Hey, cheese dick... 636 00:48:23,124 --> 00:48:27,587 why don't you quit being such a fucking taint licker, and get me another slushee. 637 00:48:27,670 --> 00:48:29,630 Fucking puss monkey. 638 00:48:37,472 --> 00:48:40,016 You know what? I am going to have some fun. 639 00:48:48,065 --> 00:48:51,152 Fucking hoes, man. I don't get that shit. 640 00:48:51,277 --> 00:48:55,198 I mean, right now, Oscar's off in the woods tapping that counselor biatch, Sheree. 641 00:48:55,281 --> 00:48:58,075 - What's up with that? - That cock spring is getting laid? 642 00:48:58,159 --> 00:49:01,162 True that. And here we are, the two dopest homeboys in camp... 643 00:49:01,245 --> 00:49:05,541 and we ain't got no prospects for our palm pilots. That's fucked up, dawg. 644 00:49:05,917 --> 00:49:07,960 Dude, I gotta see this. 645 00:49:11,589 --> 00:49:13,466 - Use your hips more. - Hips, like that? 646 00:49:13,591 --> 00:49:17,512 Yeah, now faster. Yeah. Like that. A circle. Like that. 647 00:49:17,595 --> 00:49:21,766 Crikey! The alpha female has chosen an unlikely mate. 648 00:49:21,849 --> 00:49:24,477 Will he survive this dangerous encounter... 649 00:49:24,727 --> 00:49:29,106 or will she satisfy her primal needs and then devour him for dinner? 650 00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,067 Stay tuned. 651 00:49:31,484 --> 00:49:35,321 I'm sorry. I'm really no good at this stuff. 652 00:49:35,446 --> 00:49:37,490 Relax. You're doing fine. 653 00:49:40,910 --> 00:49:42,370 This sucks. 654 00:49:42,745 --> 00:49:45,289 How's that feel? Oscar. 655 00:49:45,873 --> 00:49:48,000 Is that your drumstick poking me? 656 00:49:49,210 --> 00:49:51,170 I don't have my drumsticks. 657 00:49:51,254 --> 00:49:54,048 Are you standing up for me again, Oscar? 658 00:49:54,590 --> 00:49:56,300 It's getting hot. 659 00:49:56,592 --> 00:49:59,512 Smack my ass and call me cowboy. 660 00:50:00,304 --> 00:50:02,515 Hello, Double-D Sheree. 661 00:50:02,974 --> 00:50:04,684 Hips. Hips. 662 00:50:04,976 --> 00:50:06,602 - Use your hips. - Oh, yeah, hips. 663 00:50:06,727 --> 00:50:08,521 And step, and... 664 00:50:11,774 --> 00:50:12,859 Who knew? 665 00:50:13,943 --> 00:50:15,319 Wow. 666 00:50:27,373 --> 00:50:29,750 Yo, we at Tall Oaks Sipping on juice 667 00:50:29,876 --> 00:50:32,170 Got horns, trumpets Rhythm and flutes 668 00:50:32,253 --> 00:50:34,547 Great Falls laying it down 669 00:50:34,672 --> 00:50:37,216 Gonna ride fucking Beechwood out of the town 670 00:50:37,300 --> 00:50:39,677 J.C., what, rocking the bunch 671 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,847 All tripped out on the fucking fruit punch 672 00:50:49,812 --> 00:50:53,149 - I just want to be respectful. - Oh, that's sweet. 673 00:51:01,532 --> 00:51:04,076 The only person who's gonna get laid around here. 674 00:51:13,252 --> 00:51:15,296 Hello, oeoe. 675 00:51:32,188 --> 00:51:33,898 This is so cool. 676 00:51:35,483 --> 00:51:39,779 I hope I didn't scare you with the Rover and the soda. 677 00:51:39,946 --> 00:51:42,073 No, man, it was cute. 678 00:51:42,824 --> 00:51:46,410 Nobody's ever been that sweet to me in my whole life. 679 00:51:46,994 --> 00:51:48,538 Plus, to be honest... 680 00:51:48,996 --> 00:51:52,083 metal really turns me on. 681 00:52:18,901 --> 00:52:21,028 Man, the shit's stuck. 682 00:52:45,595 --> 00:52:48,055 - Turn off the lights. - Damn, gangsta. 683 00:52:48,181 --> 00:52:50,850 - I was just fucking with you, dawg! - You... It's stuck. 684 00:52:50,933 --> 00:52:53,311 - Shit, you want help? - Don't touch me. 685 00:52:54,896 --> 00:52:55,980 Come on. 686 00:52:56,731 --> 00:52:58,274 Maybe you should blow on it. 687 00:52:58,399 --> 00:53:00,109 Maybe you should blow on it and I'll pull. 688 00:53:00,193 --> 00:53:02,320 Hell, no. Jimmy ain't putting his lips on that thing. 689 00:53:02,445 --> 00:53:03,905 Jimmy should be a team player. 690 00:53:03,988 --> 00:53:06,199 - Try and relax, dawg. - Not so hard. 691 00:53:06,324 --> 00:53:07,867 Oh, my God! 692 00:53:14,874 --> 00:53:18,377 - I was just trying to help him get it off, yo. - Dude, shut up. 693 00:53:18,461 --> 00:53:19,545 Whatever. 694 00:53:19,670 --> 00:53:21,714 He had an allergic reaction to the valve oil. 695 00:53:21,797 --> 00:53:24,467 The swelling should go down in a few minutes. 696 00:53:24,717 --> 00:53:28,846 These kinds of things would never happen with our old Macro. 697 00:53:49,867 --> 00:53:52,703 We didn't have MTV when I was growing up. 698 00:53:54,038 --> 00:53:56,582 So maybe it's the over-stimulated times... 699 00:53:56,707 --> 00:54:00,837 that we live in that causes young men to stick their... 700 00:54:01,546 --> 00:54:04,423 instruments in such odd places. 701 00:54:06,342 --> 00:54:07,927 I knew a certain young man once... 702 00:54:08,010 --> 00:54:11,264 who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie. 703 00:54:11,472 --> 00:54:13,349 And he turned out just fine. 704 00:54:13,891 --> 00:54:16,811 So, you're perfectly normal... 705 00:54:17,937 --> 00:54:19,522 as these things go. 706 00:54:37,874 --> 00:54:40,960 - Are you okay? - Oh, yeah. 707 00:54:41,085 --> 00:54:45,548 I'm so drunk right now. I'm probably going to forget about you... 708 00:54:47,049 --> 00:54:49,093 porking an oboe. 709 00:54:58,227 --> 00:54:59,937 I have six piercings. 710 00:55:01,439 --> 00:55:03,983 That doesn't include the ones on my face. 711 00:55:17,497 --> 00:55:18,915 Two right here... 712 00:55:21,292 --> 00:55:24,295 and four down here. 713 00:55:36,057 --> 00:55:38,017 Haven't seen that in a while. 714 00:55:38,392 --> 00:55:43,439 Yeah, well, no time for dance. It's all about band, band, band. 715 00:55:43,523 --> 00:55:45,483 No, I was talking about you having fun. 716 00:55:45,608 --> 00:55:49,111 - I have fun. I have fun all the time. - Yeah. 717 00:55:49,237 --> 00:55:51,948 I just get stressed out, you know. I mean... 718 00:55:52,615 --> 00:55:54,826 we graduate next year, and I don't know. 719 00:55:54,909 --> 00:55:56,953 I mean, I don't really talk about it all that much... 720 00:55:57,036 --> 00:55:59,956 because the cup is, like, a team thing, and... 721 00:56:00,081 --> 00:56:03,167 But winning the Robards Scholarship, I mean, that is like... 722 00:56:03,292 --> 00:56:05,002 my future, you know? And... 723 00:56:05,962 --> 00:56:08,798 Dr. Choi is coming. I mean... 724 00:56:08,965 --> 00:56:12,385 you don't understand. She's like famous... 725 00:56:12,885 --> 00:56:15,888 like holy-shit famous. And, sometimes, I just... 726 00:56:16,931 --> 00:56:18,641 I get really stressed out... 727 00:56:18,724 --> 00:56:22,562 and I calm myself down by going off and playing on my Picardo. 728 00:56:23,271 --> 00:56:25,982 Wait, you have... Picardo? 729 00:56:26,149 --> 00:56:28,693 It's just a cheapie, but I lost it. 730 00:56:29,068 --> 00:56:32,238 - Wait, if I somehow found this Picard thing... - You found it? 731 00:56:32,530 --> 00:56:34,407 - Maybe. - Give it back. 732 00:56:34,740 --> 00:56:36,284 If you let me watch. 733 00:56:37,243 --> 00:56:40,246 Okay, but it takes me a while to warm up. 734 00:56:40,371 --> 00:56:42,832 I have all the time in the world. 735 00:56:45,418 --> 00:56:46,502 Figures. 736 00:56:48,379 --> 00:56:50,923 But I'm going to have to be really drunk. 737 00:56:51,841 --> 00:56:55,178 I mean really drunk. Really drunk. 738 00:56:56,095 --> 00:56:57,096 Yes. 739 00:56:57,722 --> 00:56:59,182 Beat it, jerk off. 740 00:57:18,326 --> 00:57:20,620 Okay, people, let's take a break. 741 00:57:24,081 --> 00:57:26,209 We're all a little sluggish today. 742 00:57:28,002 --> 00:57:29,629 Man, we suck. 743 00:57:29,712 --> 00:57:33,216 Man, one night of fun was not worth losing a whole day of practice. 744 00:57:36,969 --> 00:57:38,471 Give me this thing. 745 00:57:39,263 --> 00:57:41,808 All right, listen up, you lazy bunch of lip shits. 746 00:57:41,933 --> 00:57:43,893 Those Beechwood plebes aren't taking breaks. 747 00:57:43,976 --> 00:57:46,896 We want to win this thing, we've gotta bust our asses. 748 00:57:47,230 --> 00:57:49,357 Come on, bitches. Back to work. 749 00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:52,235 - Matt, that's my job. - Grab your cocks and move your socks. 750 00:57:52,318 --> 00:57:54,445 We're at war here, people, war! 751 00:57:54,529 --> 00:57:57,865 Show some tits. Grow some balls. Hey, keep that thing warm for me. 752 00:57:57,990 --> 00:58:02,119 All right, now. What, you want to let Beechwood tittie-fuck us? I didn't think so. 753 00:58:02,203 --> 00:58:03,538 All right, Tall Oakers... 754 00:58:03,621 --> 00:58:06,624 we're in our final week. Time to put on our game faces. 755 00:58:06,749 --> 00:58:09,919 And time to strap yourselves in for a bumpy ride. 756 00:58:10,002 --> 00:58:11,963 I want the oboe, clarinet, black thingies... 757 00:58:12,046 --> 00:58:14,841 and we've got the rhythm section in a full-on blitz. 758 00:58:14,924 --> 00:58:17,051 - Are you with me, bandees? - Yeah! 759 00:58:17,176 --> 00:58:19,929 MACRO: Competition for the Tall Oaks Cup is really heating up. 760 00:58:23,641 --> 00:58:25,101 Beechwood wins. 761 00:58:27,353 --> 00:58:28,354 Whatever. 762 00:58:28,479 --> 00:58:29,814 I told you, you should let me steer. 763 00:58:29,897 --> 00:58:31,524 Take that bitch home, man. 764 00:58:31,941 --> 00:58:36,320 Drive it in. Hey, you, fuck face, I don't even know where to start with you. 765 00:58:43,161 --> 00:58:46,747 Beechwood leads. Great Falls and Lloyd are tied for second. 766 00:58:46,873 --> 00:58:48,916 Beechwood licks nuts. Hut! 767 00:58:57,508 --> 00:58:59,719 Victory, East Great Falls. 768 00:59:03,139 --> 00:59:05,266 Right foot on line. 769 00:59:07,018 --> 00:59:09,061 Jimmy, you fucking lotion lover. 770 00:59:16,235 --> 00:59:18,863 East Great Falls by four points. 771 00:59:28,498 --> 00:59:30,291 Hey, butt pirates ahoy. 772 00:59:31,250 --> 00:59:34,754 Your little band may be leading in the competition, Stifler... 773 00:59:36,172 --> 00:59:38,799 but make sure to let us know if you get thirsty. 774 00:59:38,883 --> 00:59:41,093 Yeah, 'cause there's plenty of this. 775 00:59:46,474 --> 00:59:50,394 That's funny for you dorks. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah. 776 00:59:50,645 --> 00:59:53,272 Man, screw that challenge. I'm just gonna kick his ass. 777 00:59:53,356 --> 00:59:55,483 No, wait. I've got a better idea... 778 00:59:56,442 --> 00:59:58,486 if you think you're man enough. 779 01:00:10,540 --> 01:00:11,541 Yes. 780 01:00:11,666 --> 01:00:14,836 - Hey, you sure you can do this? - Hey, born to be a porn star, baby. 781 01:00:14,919 --> 01:00:16,379 Delivery on demand. 782 01:00:17,505 --> 01:00:20,508 When I get back, I'll be a million Stiflers lighter. 783 01:02:48,573 --> 01:02:50,616 Brandon, I think you're a really good drummer, so... 784 01:02:50,700 --> 01:02:51,784 Excuse me. 785 01:03:04,046 --> 01:03:05,381 Hey, guys... 786 01:03:05,464 --> 01:03:09,218 don't forget your sunscreen. Your bodies are your instruments. 787 01:03:09,302 --> 01:03:11,345 Yeah, you don't want to be chapped for your solos. 788 01:03:11,470 --> 01:03:13,764 No, we don't. Bye now. 789 01:03:19,061 --> 01:03:21,272 What is that, 30? It's really thick. 790 01:03:31,657 --> 01:03:33,534 How's that taste, Vande-cock? 791 01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:36,370 Good, huh? Warm and salty? Yeah. 792 01:03:36,496 --> 01:03:40,249 It's a cum-pletely new formula. 100% Stiffy juice... 793 01:03:40,374 --> 01:03:42,502 S.P.F. 69. 794 01:03:49,258 --> 01:03:50,510 Suck on that. 795 01:03:51,636 --> 01:03:53,262 - Yeah. - Stop, man. 796 01:03:53,346 --> 01:03:55,056 - Yeah. - Ernie. 797 01:03:55,139 --> 01:03:56,474 - Yeah. - Ernie. 798 01:04:05,858 --> 01:04:08,486 What you had before was way better than this. 799 01:04:08,569 --> 01:04:12,615 This sounds like your overactive honor-society brain. 800 01:04:13,074 --> 01:04:16,828 Instead of your nasty, wet... 801 01:04:17,703 --> 01:04:19,163 dirty-girl panties. 802 01:04:20,122 --> 01:04:22,083 It should be more spontaneous. 803 01:04:25,086 --> 01:04:26,420 Stop. 804 01:04:26,504 --> 01:04:29,340 Maybe you should hang out with your friend Matt a little bit more. 805 01:04:29,423 --> 01:04:30,424 Yeah, right. 806 01:04:30,550 --> 01:04:34,136 I know he's a dick and everything, but he's also got one. 807 01:04:34,262 --> 01:04:38,516 Make some love music, you know? And then your notes will just cum to you. 808 01:04:39,142 --> 01:04:42,311 - Oh, Matt! - Stop. 809 01:04:42,562 --> 01:04:44,021 Matt. Matt. 810 01:04:47,275 --> 01:04:49,735 Go long, you asshole. Go. 811 01:04:50,528 --> 01:04:52,405 Hey, Elyse. 812 01:04:53,656 --> 01:04:55,616 Throw it back. Come on. 813 01:04:56,409 --> 01:04:57,869 What you got? 814 01:05:05,543 --> 01:05:06,919 Missed. Sorry. 815 01:05:08,546 --> 01:05:10,256 Hey, if I have to ring the triangle... 816 01:05:10,298 --> 01:05:12,049 - you have to throw the football, all right? - Okay. 817 01:05:12,091 --> 01:05:13,968 Draw your arm back. There you go. 818 01:05:14,051 --> 01:05:17,805 Shoulder to your target. Right. Okay, now step forward. 819 01:05:17,889 --> 01:05:20,266 Come on we're not marching. One foot. 820 01:05:20,391 --> 01:05:23,227 - Okay. - You're fine. Ready? There you go. 821 01:05:23,519 --> 01:05:24,896 Draw the ball over your ear... 822 01:05:24,979 --> 01:05:28,149 and when you throw it, let it roll right off your fingers, all right? 823 01:05:29,358 --> 01:05:30,443 Okay. 824 01:05:30,818 --> 01:05:32,278 Come on, throw it. 825 01:05:38,201 --> 01:05:39,994 See? I taught you something. What? 826 01:05:40,077 --> 01:05:42,538 So every time I throw it, you're gonna run and go get it? 827 01:05:42,663 --> 01:05:44,373 That's generally how it works. 828 01:05:44,499 --> 01:05:46,292 Like playing fetch with my dog. 829 01:05:46,417 --> 01:05:50,171 - Yeah, except I don't lick my own balls. - You would if you could. 830 01:05:50,546 --> 01:05:51,547 Oh, yeah. 831 01:05:53,216 --> 01:05:54,383 Okay, again. 832 01:05:55,176 --> 01:05:56,344 Right here. 833 01:05:57,720 --> 01:06:00,348 Look, that one looks like a bunny. 834 01:06:00,681 --> 01:06:02,558 No, it doesn't. 835 01:06:03,935 --> 01:06:05,978 Maybe a bunny with one nut. 836 01:06:06,229 --> 01:06:08,981 - No, that's its tail. - Whatever you say. 837 01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:15,446 - You think we'll win this thing? - Hell, yeah, we will. 838 01:06:15,571 --> 01:06:19,867 - If you write in a bagpipe part. - Oh, God, I'll never make that mistake again. 839 01:06:19,951 --> 01:06:22,954 - What? - The eighth grade recital. 840 01:06:24,038 --> 01:06:26,499 You made me write in a part for you. 841 01:06:28,793 --> 01:06:30,753 You wore your kilt. 842 01:06:32,129 --> 01:06:34,590 Yeah, Steve showed up with his friends. 843 01:06:35,258 --> 01:06:37,468 They gave me so much shit for that. 844 01:06:37,802 --> 01:06:40,179 I didn't come out of my room for days. 845 01:06:40,471 --> 01:06:43,641 You made it up to him by stealing all my underwear... 846 01:06:43,766 --> 01:06:46,144 so you could run them up the flagpole. 847 01:06:47,103 --> 01:06:48,896 Including my training bras. 848 01:06:52,024 --> 01:06:54,652 Okay, since we're having some big fucking Oprah moment here... 849 01:06:54,735 --> 01:06:56,779 I'm sorry about your underwear. 850 01:06:56,904 --> 01:06:58,531 And the diary. 851 01:07:01,284 --> 01:07:03,244 And all that other shit, too. 852 01:07:43,534 --> 01:07:44,619 That's it. 853 01:07:45,203 --> 01:07:48,080 - You started it. - This is gonna get me that scholarship. 854 01:07:48,164 --> 01:07:49,165 What? 855 01:07:49,290 --> 01:07:51,959 I've got to go write this down before I forget. 856 01:07:53,836 --> 01:07:55,213 Hey. Hey. Hey. 857 01:07:57,048 --> 01:07:59,091 Could we do this again tomorrow night? 858 01:07:59,175 --> 01:08:02,011 Yeah, sure. I'll see you here at sunset. 859 01:08:02,553 --> 01:08:03,888 Hey. 860 01:08:04,847 --> 01:08:07,308 Should I bring that Picardo thing? 861 01:08:07,391 --> 01:08:09,602 Okay, I'll do a solo for you. 862 01:08:19,821 --> 01:08:21,531 - What's up, Ernie? - Hey. 863 01:08:40,550 --> 01:08:42,510 It was that fugly nurse again. 864 01:08:57,650 --> 01:08:59,443 Oh, my God. 865 01:08:59,569 --> 01:09:00,903 Matt Stifler? 866 01:09:01,654 --> 01:09:06,284 - Holy shit, look at you. - Arrianna, what are you doing here? 867 01:09:06,409 --> 01:09:09,745 We practice our routine with the band. What are you doing here? 868 01:09:09,829 --> 01:09:12,206 I had to come. The school made me. 869 01:09:13,207 --> 01:09:16,627 - Does anybody know about this yet? - Oh, they do now. 870 01:09:17,670 --> 01:09:20,840 Hey, come on, no pictures. What're you, the papa-tit-zzy? 871 01:09:20,923 --> 01:09:22,633 - Holy shit, this is so hilarious. - Smile. 872 01:09:22,758 --> 01:09:26,596 Ladies. No time for fraternizing. 873 01:09:27,597 --> 01:09:31,684 Get the bags. Guess I'll see you around, bandee. 874 01:09:31,851 --> 01:09:36,105 What a dork. I'm going to email this to everybody. 875 01:09:58,461 --> 01:10:01,214 Girls, that was great. Percussion, take five. 876 01:10:01,339 --> 01:10:03,049 Horns, we've got to work on intonation. 877 01:10:03,174 --> 01:10:05,801 The final performance is tomorrow, you guys. 878 01:10:06,636 --> 01:10:08,429 They're so lame. 879 01:10:09,472 --> 01:10:11,849 You play the triangle. How cute. 880 01:10:12,683 --> 01:10:15,853 No, I don't. Look, I told you... 881 01:10:16,521 --> 01:10:17,855 - I had to... - I gotta go. 882 01:10:17,939 --> 01:10:21,275 - I don't socialize with bandees. - I'm not a fucking bandee. 883 01:10:21,651 --> 01:10:25,321 I'm not. Look. I've just been acting like a geek. 884 01:10:25,613 --> 01:10:28,574 I've been playing them so I could get them on hidden video. 885 01:10:28,658 --> 01:10:32,161 I've been secretly videotaping them doing all this crazy shit. 886 01:10:33,162 --> 01:10:36,165 - Really? - Yeah, I could show you. 887 01:10:38,793 --> 01:10:41,087 Okay, come by after dinner. 888 01:10:41,629 --> 01:10:44,257 I'll leave my pompoms in the window for you. 889 01:11:17,748 --> 01:11:20,459 - You're late. - Yeah, no shit. Open the window. 890 01:11:23,796 --> 01:11:25,673 Hold on. Be careful with it. 891 01:11:34,807 --> 01:11:38,060 All right, one condition before I show you the fruits of my labors. 892 01:11:38,144 --> 01:11:39,312 What's that? 893 01:11:39,687 --> 01:11:42,523 I want that picture on that camera phone erased. 894 01:11:54,160 --> 01:11:57,246 Nobody at school hears about the triangle or the beanie. 895 01:11:57,371 --> 01:11:59,999 I don't want anybody to think I'm a dorky-ass bandee. 896 01:12:00,082 --> 01:12:01,876 Fine. Like, now can we get on with it? 897 01:12:02,001 --> 01:12:05,421 As soon as you get rid of that picture of me on your phone. 898 01:12:19,852 --> 01:12:22,688 - Are you going into town? - Not tonight. I'm too tired. 899 01:12:22,772 --> 01:12:25,399 Besides, they're much hotter here. 900 01:12:25,483 --> 01:12:28,402 I know. It's a great crop this year. 901 01:12:43,209 --> 01:12:47,129 - There. Done deal. - Now can we see the video? 902 01:12:48,005 --> 01:12:49,632 Stiffmeister Productions... 903 01:12:49,715 --> 01:12:53,302 in association with its talented new director, Matthew Stifler... 904 01:12:53,386 --> 01:12:55,346 is happy to premier the unedited... 905 01:12:55,471 --> 01:12:59,934 unfiltered, and un-fucking-believable Bandeez Gone Wild. 906 01:13:01,269 --> 01:13:02,436 Oh, yeah. 907 01:13:06,691 --> 01:13:10,528 - Oh, my God. - That is unbelievable. 908 01:13:33,176 --> 01:13:35,469 - You're kidding me, right? - That's great. 909 01:13:36,971 --> 01:13:40,141 Danielle likes Jimmy, but she's like a foot taller than him. 910 01:13:40,224 --> 01:13:41,684 And wait till you hear this. 911 01:13:41,767 --> 01:13:44,312 Sheree slept with that big Oscar guy, the drummer. 912 01:13:44,437 --> 01:13:45,938 Said he was amazing. 913 01:13:46,522 --> 01:13:49,692 I hooked up with Brandon once. Some drummer. He has... 914 01:13:49,817 --> 01:13:51,611 no rhythm, and he can't even bang very long. 915 01:13:51,819 --> 01:13:53,613 Oh, my God. Are you serious? 916 01:13:53,696 --> 01:13:57,867 Yeah, he's a preemie. I'm not talking about the day he was born, either. 917 01:13:59,744 --> 01:14:02,497 Can you get my back? I think I got a little bit of sun today? 918 01:14:02,580 --> 01:14:03,581 Sure. 919 01:14:03,831 --> 01:14:06,751 Get this. He has one ball. 920 01:14:07,335 --> 01:14:09,629 - No way. - One ball. 921 01:14:10,796 --> 01:14:13,716 Yeah, that why he carries that big stick around everywhere. 922 01:14:13,841 --> 01:14:15,885 It's got his other ball on top. 923 01:14:20,348 --> 01:14:22,141 Shit, shit, oh, shit. 924 01:14:25,394 --> 01:14:26,854 What is that thing? 925 01:14:40,952 --> 01:14:42,286 Let's kill it. 926 01:14:43,704 --> 01:14:44,872 - Where'd he go? - There he is. 927 01:14:44,997 --> 01:14:46,082 Look out. 928 01:15:26,038 --> 01:15:27,915 This is going into the lake. 929 01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:31,460 No one's gonna know about your little video. 930 01:15:31,586 --> 01:15:34,213 'Cause the shit you got us doing on tape... 931 01:15:39,260 --> 01:15:42,930 So we got a contest to win tomorrow. And I don't want to see you. 932 01:15:43,306 --> 01:15:44,474 Understand? 933 01:15:50,605 --> 01:15:52,023 Did you help him? 934 01:16:17,006 --> 01:16:18,633 With East Great Falls in the lead... 935 01:16:18,758 --> 01:16:21,511 Beechwood has to win the Band Camp Playoffs. 936 01:16:21,636 --> 01:16:23,846 Direct yourselves to the marching field in one hour. 937 01:16:25,306 --> 01:16:28,643 Now, Dr. Choi, Brandon Vandecamp from Beechwood... 938 01:16:28,768 --> 01:16:31,062 is our best musician by far... 939 01:16:31,145 --> 01:16:36,108 and his father, Landon, is our best donor, also by far. 940 01:16:37,068 --> 01:16:41,322 Robards needs talented musicians as much as we need talented donors. 941 01:16:48,788 --> 01:16:50,122 Ipecac. 942 01:16:52,500 --> 01:16:55,670 - So how's it going? Are you having fun? - It's okay. 943 01:17:01,133 --> 01:17:03,344 How about some Ipecac, Vande-cooch? 944 01:17:06,264 --> 01:17:10,101 This herbal fucking extract will help you Beechwood fief play in tune, huh? 945 01:17:11,686 --> 01:17:12,687 Shit. 946 01:17:22,196 --> 01:17:24,574 I told you I don't want to see you anymore, Stifler. 947 01:17:24,699 --> 01:17:26,826 Some day, you'll thank me, asshole. 948 01:17:31,664 --> 01:17:34,375 - Orange? - Again? 949 01:17:34,917 --> 01:17:36,961 - Damn. - That orange shit is janky. 950 01:17:37,044 --> 01:17:38,921 I'm feeling grape, dawg. 951 01:17:41,841 --> 01:17:45,761 I don't care how many times they won. They're not getting the grape today. 952 01:17:45,887 --> 01:17:48,264 That's what I'm talking about. 953 01:17:49,932 --> 01:17:52,810 Your five-time defending champion... 954 01:17:53,436 --> 01:17:55,229 Beechwood Academy. 955 01:18:27,345 --> 01:18:30,598 - They're tight. - Yeah, they're better then ever this year. 956 01:18:30,681 --> 01:18:32,141 Okay, everybody. 957 01:18:32,642 --> 01:18:34,852 It's no surprise Beechwood is good. 958 01:18:35,228 --> 01:18:38,731 But this year is different. This year, we can beat them. 959 01:18:39,690 --> 01:18:42,860 We've worked hard, and we are good enough... 960 01:18:42,985 --> 01:18:45,530 and this is our time, so lets win the cup. 961 01:18:45,655 --> 01:18:47,615 Yeah! 962 01:19:22,567 --> 01:19:24,277 Beechwood Academy. 963 01:19:24,360 --> 01:19:27,864 Their music today was composed by senior drum major... 964 01:19:27,989 --> 01:19:29,949 Brandon Vandecamp. 965 01:19:30,116 --> 01:19:31,200 Beat that. 966 01:19:34,203 --> 01:19:37,707 East Great Falls, you may enter the field for competition. 967 01:19:55,057 --> 01:19:58,227 - Band 10 hut. One, two, ready. - Shit. 968 01:19:58,311 --> 01:19:59,854 Leesy, wait, no. 969 01:19:59,979 --> 01:20:02,023 No. Wait. 970 01:20:12,325 --> 01:20:14,619 You know, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. 971 01:20:14,744 --> 01:20:16,871 Not my shoes. Here we go. 972 01:20:21,751 --> 01:20:22,835 Stifler! 973 01:20:40,686 --> 01:20:42,897 You know, you're like your brother, Steve. 974 01:20:43,022 --> 01:20:46,609 And I don't think those are the shoes you should be so eager to fill. 975 01:20:46,734 --> 01:20:49,821 You know, the people Steve thought were his friends... 976 01:20:49,946 --> 01:20:52,573 - really didn't like him very much. - What? 977 01:20:52,657 --> 01:20:54,116 But I think you're different. 978 01:20:54,200 --> 01:20:58,412 I think people want to like you, Matt. You just make it really hard. 979 01:21:12,802 --> 01:21:16,639 Parting is such sweet sorrow. When you're a loser. 980 01:21:23,229 --> 01:21:27,525 Mr. Levenstein reports that there were a few incidents... 981 01:21:27,608 --> 01:21:28,860 at camp. 982 01:21:29,402 --> 01:21:31,863 But he also says that... 983 01:21:32,029 --> 01:21:35,783 you bonded with the band briefly. 984 01:21:39,829 --> 01:21:44,041 When school starts, you're going to be on a very short leash. 985 01:21:44,292 --> 01:21:48,045 Remember, the Shermanator sees it all. 986 01:21:49,422 --> 01:21:50,673 Be gone. 987 01:21:55,636 --> 01:21:57,847 Did everybody hate my brother? 988 01:22:09,192 --> 01:22:12,778 August 21, 2005. 989 01:22:13,404 --> 01:22:15,781 Some progress made with Stiffy Junior. 990 01:22:16,199 --> 01:22:18,659 Behavior modification evident. 991 01:22:20,119 --> 01:22:21,829 Will continue to monitor. 992 01:22:22,497 --> 01:22:24,707 Shermanator out. 993 01:22:35,885 --> 01:22:38,346 A little "Double-D Sheree" action. 994 01:22:42,934 --> 01:22:44,811 Little bit of Dr. Robot. 995 01:22:46,646 --> 01:22:48,105 Crazy fucker. 996 01:23:56,340 --> 01:23:57,675 Hey, Stifler, where's your instrument? 997 01:23:57,758 --> 01:23:58,926 Dude, you're in the wrong uniform. 998 01:23:59,051 --> 01:24:01,846 Screw them, dude. They're gonna freak out when they see the video. 999 01:24:01,929 --> 01:24:04,140 Look, we thought that if we had an advance screening... 1000 01:24:04,223 --> 01:24:06,267 then everyone would see that you're not really a dork. 1001 01:24:06,392 --> 01:24:08,769 I can't. It's gone. 1002 01:24:09,812 --> 01:24:12,982 - What? - The video, man, I deleted it. 1003 01:24:13,983 --> 01:24:14,984 Why? 1004 01:24:15,943 --> 01:24:18,613 Guess little bro's quitting the family business. 1005 01:24:18,696 --> 01:24:20,198 Are you kidding me? 1006 01:24:23,743 --> 01:24:25,620 He went fucking bandee on us. 1007 01:24:42,053 --> 01:24:43,596 Hey, what's up, guys? 1008 01:24:44,388 --> 01:24:46,349 You a dead man, motherfucker. 1009 01:24:47,141 --> 01:24:49,101 - You, too, little man. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1010 01:24:49,477 --> 01:24:53,314 Dude, the purple puke was an accident. Somebody switched the coolers. 1011 01:24:58,069 --> 01:25:00,279 Hey, that orange shit is janky, yo. 1012 01:25:00,988 --> 01:25:05,785 Chloe, we never saw Elyse, you know, naked. 1013 01:25:06,577 --> 01:25:08,538 Matt turned off the computer. 1014 01:25:09,413 --> 01:25:11,958 So we're just supposed to forgive him now? 1015 01:25:13,084 --> 01:25:15,795 - He's still an asshole. - You're right. 1016 01:25:16,796 --> 01:25:18,130 I am an asshole. 1017 01:25:18,548 --> 01:25:20,758 I can't take back spying on you... 1018 01:25:20,883 --> 01:25:23,261 and I can't win that Bandee Cup thing. 1019 01:25:23,386 --> 01:25:26,264 But I can help someone get what she deserves. 1020 01:25:27,098 --> 01:25:29,225 I'm not asking you to forgive me. 1021 01:25:29,475 --> 01:25:32,019 Just help me help Elyse. 1022 01:25:42,989 --> 01:25:45,449 - I got the number. - Go ahead. 1023 01:25:45,533 --> 01:25:49,036 555-0171. 1024 01:25:51,080 --> 01:25:53,833 He shouldn't have been dumping Ipecac in anyone's cooler. 1025 01:25:53,916 --> 01:25:55,710 We could've won on our own. 1026 01:25:58,045 --> 01:26:02,341 I don't even care that he saw me on camera. Well, I mean I do, but... 1027 01:26:03,426 --> 01:26:05,636 Honey, this just came for you. 1028 01:26:09,432 --> 01:26:10,892 It's from Robards. 1029 01:26:12,351 --> 01:26:13,603 What's it say? 1030 01:26:15,396 --> 01:26:17,940 Dr. Choi wants to meet with me? 1031 01:26:35,833 --> 01:26:37,793 - Okay. - Okay. 1032 01:26:38,044 --> 01:26:39,921 - Okay. - Okay. 1033 01:26:41,631 --> 01:26:42,715 Bye. 1034 01:26:58,940 --> 01:27:01,317 Hi. Elyse Houston. 1035 01:27:02,568 --> 01:27:05,321 I have an appointment with Dr. Choi. 1036 01:27:06,405 --> 01:27:09,992 - You're not in the book. - No, there must be some mistake. See... 1037 01:27:11,953 --> 01:27:13,329 I have a letter. 1038 01:27:18,835 --> 01:27:20,711 This letter is, well... 1039 01:27:21,504 --> 01:27:22,672 It's a fake. 1040 01:27:23,214 --> 01:27:26,133 - This is not Dr. Choi's signature. - What? 1041 01:27:39,355 --> 01:27:40,439 Stifler. 1042 01:27:44,277 --> 01:27:46,487 You son of a bitch. 1043 01:27:48,197 --> 01:27:52,577 What? It wasn't enough for you to humiliate me at Band Camp? 1044 01:27:52,660 --> 01:27:55,329 Now you have to set me up here? 1045 01:28:15,766 --> 01:28:17,477 What's going on here? 1046 01:28:18,936 --> 01:28:20,396 This is my band. 1047 01:28:20,855 --> 01:28:22,732 And that's her music. 1048 01:29:21,040 --> 01:29:22,041 Well... 1049 01:29:22,667 --> 01:29:26,337 I've certainly seen some interesting attempts to gain admission... 1050 01:29:27,046 --> 01:29:28,673 but this is a first. 1051 01:29:30,216 --> 01:29:34,428 Excellent audition, Miss. Houston. Let's go discuss that scholarship. 1052 01:29:35,888 --> 01:29:37,348 I thought Brandon won. 1053 01:29:37,473 --> 01:29:40,810 No, Mr. Vandecamp was disqualified for plagiarism. 1054 01:29:40,893 --> 01:29:41,978 All right. 1055 01:29:44,230 --> 01:29:46,274 That's what I'm talking about, yo. 1056 01:29:50,444 --> 01:29:52,822 Oh, my God, you guys, that was amazing. 1057 01:29:53,406 --> 01:29:57,451 - Thank you so much. - Thank him. It was his idea. 1058 01:29:57,535 --> 01:29:58,536 Word. 1059 01:30:01,372 --> 01:30:04,959 - You planned all this? - With some friends. 1060 01:30:07,920 --> 01:30:09,172 Come here. 1061 01:30:13,843 --> 01:30:16,220 Oh, I believe this is yours. 1062 01:30:17,638 --> 01:30:18,806 You know... 1063 01:30:19,515 --> 01:30:23,561 Picardo is a brand of piccolo. 1064 01:30:24,520 --> 01:30:26,814 You really are an asshole sometimes... 1065 01:30:27,273 --> 01:30:28,274 Stiffy. 1066 01:33:49,642 --> 01:33:51,435 Man, change the channel, yo. 1067 01:33:51,644 --> 01:33:54,647 Hook a brother up with some mad beats. 1068 01:33:54,939 --> 01:33:56,566 Will you cut that out? 1069 01:33:57,108 --> 01:33:59,235 Your name is James Hi Ping Chong. 1070 01:33:59,360 --> 01:34:00,987 Your dad owns a Chinese restaurant. 1071 01:34:01,112 --> 01:34:03,739 You live in the suburbs. You ain't never gonna be a gangsta. 1072 01:34:04,365 --> 01:34:05,366 Damn! 1073 01:34:08,077 --> 01:34:09,162 That's cold, dawg. 83875

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