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1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,422
You're about to learn the tragic fate
of the Oak Point High lacrosse team.
2
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:08,716
But this podcast won't cash in
on their specific
3
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:11,677
and particularly gruesome
group decapitation.
4
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:12,928
Too bad. Someone else will.
5
00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:14,221
It's a big market, man.
6
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:17,057
Morty, don't just respond.
Find a podcast without scruples.
7
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,726
Cryo-ship detected.
8
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,477
Ooh, power's still online?
9
00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:22,855
What do you think, Morty?
Bunch of sleeping beauties?
10
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,106
Wanna go tap on some glass?
11
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,399
That could be fun.
12
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,151
We haven't done one
of those in a while.
13
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,402
Welcome to Bloodbath!
14
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,654
The podcast that's only
grisly details!
15
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:31,990
Now we're talkin'!
16
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,331
Holy shit. Look at this place.
17
00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:44,043
Damn, Morty, ain't just
your run-of-the-mill ark ship.
18
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,378
This thing is gold-plated.
19
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,338
Wow, where do you think
they're going?
20
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,174
Looks like these guys
flung themselves into space
21
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:51,633
after wrecking their home world.
22
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,469
This'll be like taking
candy from a baby,
23
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,887
if that baby was in a coma.
24
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,056
Oh. We're robbing them?
25
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,683
Morty, what did
I just say about scruples?
26
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:02,019
Whoa, mama. You see this, Morty?
27
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,771
This thing is fancy.
28
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,399
Computer said it's got
super-rare hypercoal inside.
29
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,901
The planet they left
must be a husk, Morty.
30
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,570
Access denied.
31
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,114
Alright, on second thought,
32
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,783
let's just blow a hole in the ship
and drag the vault home.
33
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,076
- What?!
- Help me with these charges.
34
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,744
This'll be quick.
They got fast countdowns.
35
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,662
Rick, I'm fine
with taking candy from a baby,
36
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:23,165
but I draw the line
at blowing up the stroller!
37
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,710
What the hell, Morty?!
We're not literally robbing babies.
38
00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:28,921
God damn it, Morty!
Look what you did!
39
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,548
They're counting down even faster.
40
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:33,717
Fire detected.
41
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:35,803
Emergency cryo-wake
commencing in 30 seconds.
42
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:37,554
You little shit! You woke 'em up!
43
00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:39,264
- Good! Let's get outta here!
- Fuck you.
44
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,309
I'm not leaving
without that hypercoal!
45
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,186
Now go find that other pod
with a dead guy in it.
46
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,647
- Hey! What dead guy?!
- Sub-Bay 18.
47
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,065
Just get in the pod with the bones!
48
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:49,983
Or don't, and get thrown
out an airlock.
49
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,777
- Cryo-wake in 10 seconds.
- You did this to yourself.
50
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,029
Everything that happens
after this is your fault.
51
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:55,823
You're gonna wish you were one
of those Oak Point kids
52
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,324
- after I get through with you.
- I'm going!
53
00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:58,450
Don't you run away from me!
54
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,870
I've got more
to yell at you, Morty! Morty!
55
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:36,614
-Cryo-wake in three, two...
- Shit, shit, shit.
56
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:47,332
Oh, boy.
Talk about a cryo-crick in the neck.
57
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,294
Hope my schwanz still works.
58
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,546
What's a schwanz?
59
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:55,048
- Jimmy?!
- Oh my God! Jimmy? Is that you?!
60
00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:56,300
Um, no?
61
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,551
It's our boy, honey.
62
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,011
He's got the family bald spot.
63
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,846
Doctor! Doctor, please!
64
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,014
Ah, Karen. How can I--
65
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,682
Oh my God!
66
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:06,602
The pod. There must have been
some kind of... malfunction.
67
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,437
Son? Are you in there?
68
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,772
What do you remember?
69
00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:13,233
Last thing I remember was being...13.
70
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,484
- Eleven.
- Eleven.
71
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,570
It must be the pituitary
governor on his pod.
72
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:17,654
While we were in stasis,
73
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,573
Jimmy kept growing
at an accelerated rate.
74
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,824
Will he be okay?
75
00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:23,911
Short answer, no. Long answer, nope.
76
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,037
Doctor!
77
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,247
I went to school
for medicine, not manners.
78
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:30,375
Look at him-- gray skin,
necrotic breath, jaundiced eyes.
79
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,919
I give him a week, tops.
80
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,962
Our poor child!
81
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:37,216
We're gonna use whatever time
we have left to make things right.
82
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,842
Should I get him some clothes?
83
00:03:38,843 --> 00:03:40,303
His penis is big now.
84
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,308
Ugh. Wish that pod had
a snooze button.
85
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:48,268
Alright, Makeys, let's get to work!
86
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:50,897
Um, aren't we all, like, super rich?
87
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,192
Only thing "rich" down here
is that joke.
88
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,945
"Chachaco"... you're on toilet duty.
89
00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,614
Okay, I'm not supposed to be here.
90
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,324
My grandpa's a scientist.
91
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,409
- I just jumped in this pod because--
- What?
92
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:07,120
MedBay! Got another
compliance chip on the fritz.
93
00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:10,166
Why do I have to mop?!
I should be driving the ship!
94
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,128
Jokin' again!
95
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,214
I'm definitely the thing
you guys are.
96
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,883
Ready to clean!
97
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,262
Jimmy! There you are!
98
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,721
We've been looking for you.
99
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,348
Are you trying to open the vault?
100
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,850
I thought maybe
you were stuck in there.
101
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,686
I'm just a kid and... dumb.
102
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:31,937
That's alright, sweetie.
103
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,356
Money affords us
the ability to be dumb.
104
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,899
Son, it's important to us
105
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:39,152
that you're recognized
as a man in the eyes of God...
106
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:41,363
before you die, which feels soon.
107
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:42,864
So, tomorrow night,
108
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:46,076
we're holding
your Constellatio Celebratio!
109
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,995
Pretty sure God
already made me a man.
110
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,454
Like, very rapidly.
111
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,790
But he didn't make you a citizen.
112
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:52,874
This will.
113
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:55,168
And once you join our society,
114
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,462
you'll get access to our knowledge,
115
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,298
- our history...
- Our hypercoal?
116
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,424
Well, sure.
117
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,676
You'd get a key
to the vault like every citizen.
118
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,886
You see, son, we're very, very rich.
119
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:07,014
Wow. Okay, yeah. Let's...
120
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,766
Let's Constellatio this up. I'm in!
121
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,102
- Ah, that's the spirit!
- Come on, son.
122
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,687
Let's get you a big lollipop
123
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,398
and dress you like a little sailor.
124
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,317
Ugh! How much shit is there?
125
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,361
They've only been awake
for five hours.
126
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,279
Grub time, Chachaco!
127
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,615
- Hurry. We only got eight minutes.
- Great.
128
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,368
Man, cryo-sleep, huh?
129
00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:30,495
Guess I forgot how bad the food was.
130
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,539
Yeah, wish I could forget.
131
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,208
Tastes like lumpy piss.
132
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,043
Which I love!
133
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,211
Love piss. Look at me eat it up.
134
00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:40,505
This gruel, it's got energy, lumps,
135
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,258
all the things a Makey needs.
136
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,968
Why do we call ourselves
that again?
137
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:47,679
Wow, cryo really took it
outta you, huh?
138
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,222
They gave us that term.
139
00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:52,017
'Cause we "make" it all possible.
140
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,685
If we're Makeys,
141
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,938
maybe that makes them "Takeys."
142
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,774
Did you not just get complio-shocked?
143
00:05:58,775 --> 00:05:59,941
Oh... yeah.
144
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,319
You learn to take the pain.
145
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,653
- Whoa!
- Bad-ass!
146
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,948
Chachaco's hardcore.
147
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,118
Rick?! Where the hell have you been?
148
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,829
Morty! Great news.
It's all going as planned.
149
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:14,831
- We didn't have a plan!
- We do now.
150
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:17,459
These people, Morty,
they're golden retrievers.
151
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,669
No natural predators,
152
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,379
totally softened
by generational wealth.
153
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,963
Tomorrow they're throwing me
some kind of
154
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:24,216
"becoming a man" thing
and just giving me the hypercoal.
155
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,093
Who cares?! Get me outta here!
156
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,095
I'm literally scooping shit by hand!
157
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,930
Good. You made your bed, lay in it.
158
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,723
- Gimme the car keys!
- No! We're not leaving!
159
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:32,974
Yes, we are, you greedy shit!
160
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:36,854
Damn! Chachaco's giving that
old rich kid a piece of his mind!
161
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,106
Give them to me, you Takey scum!
162
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,732
Hey! Leave our son alone!
163
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,401
Your son sucks!
164
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,569
Chachaco, are you crazy?!
165
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:47,572
Get back here!
We'll be speaking to your manager!
166
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,242
No, no. It's fine.
Just jealous poor people.
167
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,910
Ungrateful monsters!
168
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,329
Impatient, too!
169
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,498
Holy shit. Are you crazy?
170
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,833
We're all gonna get it now!
171
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,626
What the hell got
into you, Chachaco?!
172
00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,294
He's an asshole!
173
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:02,587
Okay, seriously.
174
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:03,922
How are you not getting zapped?
175
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:06,383
- Ow! Hey!
- Something's up with his chip.
176
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,968
He don't got one!
177
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,845
- No chip?!
- I took it out.
178
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,972
They said taking the chips out
would kill us.
179
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,932
Chachaco is living proof it won't.
180
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,435
Wait! Stop!
181
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,563
Chachaco killed Tibs!
182
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,772
Should we tell someone?
183
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,150
Listen, I'm not who you--
184
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,697
Chachaco, you're an idiot.
185
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,407
And a goddamn hero!
186
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,783
Thanks?
187
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,493
Tell the Makeys to gather.
188
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:36,705
It's time to show the Takeys
who really runs this ship.
189
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,541
And after you finish
sipping from the final chalice,
190
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,627
the sacred light
will shine down upon you.
191
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,881
You've grown so much.
We are so proud of you.
192
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,592
Jimmy, I used to dread
giving this to you.
193
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:51,553
It's the most precious thing
in our family,
194
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,305
and frankly you were a brat.
195
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,724
But there's nothing
like a fluke cryopod accident
196
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,351
to show you what really matters.
197
00:07:58,352 --> 00:08:00,979
It's your father's Constellatio suit,
198
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:04,191
from his father,
and his father before him.
199
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,359
Oh, that's not necessary.
200
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,154
I'm still a brat.
201
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,948
I'm just glad
we're getting to do this.
202
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,492
We love you, son.
203
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,869
We love you.
204
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:18,413
Yeah. Love you guys, too.
205
00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:21,291
You've never said that before.
Honey, he loves us!
206
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,836
I'm so glad you said it
before you die of old age!
207
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,086
My boy!
208
00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:26,964
Oh, Jimmy!
209
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:37,224
Fresh planet, fresh start.
210
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,059
- We have a slogan now?
- Catchy, huh?
211
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,019
Tibs is looking for ya.
Great cover, by the way,
212
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,813
acting like nothing's happening.
213
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,151
- General Chachaco!
- General?
214
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:49,903
Fresh planet, fresh start!
215
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:52,906
You taught us the only way
to beat those rich bastards
216
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,866
is to actually beat them.
217
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,536
Check out this. It's a Bang-Bang.
218
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,788
To bang people's heads in.
My invention.
219
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,707
Yeah. Maybe we put a pin
in the Bang-Bang
220
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:04,876
and peacefully ask
for some change-change?
221
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,212
What am I saying?
They put chips in your heads.
222
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:10,173
Phew. For a second,
you sounded like Spoogler.
223
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:12,425
Yeah, where is Spoogler?
224
00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:13,552
Oh my God!
225
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,596
Spoogler's out there waiting
to hear both sides of the issue.
226
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,974
Meanwhile, we're gonna
take out the Takeys.
227
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,642
Ah, geez, I don't know.
228
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:23,103
We got that old kid's
party tomorrow...
229
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:26,064
That's brilliant, General!
Attack during the party.
230
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,274
Not quite what I was pitching.
231
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:30,486
Those Takeys are gonna regret
the day they messed with you!
232
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,821
We got a hand thing now?
233
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,447
For the resistance.
234
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:37,410
This feels too long
for a secret handshake.
235
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,288
Constellatio!
236
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:43,582
The crew is so proud of you, Jimmy.
237
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,960
You've really taken your grossly
shortened lifespan in stride.
238
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,296
I couldn't think of two
better parents to die before.
239
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,172
- Get over here, ya goofball!
- Hey, my hair!
240
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,009
I just put gel in!
241
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,226
Ah, geez.
242
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,312
Father, we gotta delay the ceremony.
243
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,230
Something bad is going to happen.
244
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:08,481
I sure hope so.
245
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:11,068
Great idea to stick pins
in the Bang-Bangs.
246
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,237
People of Plociff,
247
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:17,282
tonight young James Jamerson
ascends to manhood.
248
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,368
Hell yeah! Gonna be a man!
249
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,078
Rick, we really gotta go now.
250
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:23,830
Don't ruin this for these people.
251
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:28,168
Party people!
Let's hit those chalices!
252
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,252
We love it, son!
253
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:30,338
Proud of you!
254
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,008
Alright, Father. Gimme the light.
I'll take it from here.
255
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,135
How 'bout you take this
in your Takey neck?!
256
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,595
- Watch out!
- Whoa!
257
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,971
Going off script, padre.
258
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,723
Party's over, Takeys!
259
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,058
Why isn't she complying?
260
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,726
It's not working!
261
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,228
Fresh planet, fresh start!
262
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,651
- Bang-Bang!
- Wait!
263
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,694
You can't attack them!
They're helpless.
264
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:57,198
They don't even know
that food comes from somewhere.
265
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,785
We gotta get to someplace safe.
Like the vault.
266
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,913
- Gimme that!
- You got it, boss!
267
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,123
My bad.
268
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,583
Morty. Change of plans.
269
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,628
Take me to the vault! Now!
270
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,213
- Please don't hurt our boy!
- Just do what he says.
271
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,298
But if this deranged janitor
kidnaps me
272
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:16,966
and steals everything
from this vault,
273
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,761
just know you two were great parents.
274
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,889
Really unreasonably trusting.
Maybe too trusting.
275
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,474
Honey, what are you talking about?
276
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,477
Open that safe, or you're worm food!
277
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,898
Greetings, Doug Jamerson.
278
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,442
Thank you for being rich.
279
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,532
Jesus, Morty!
280
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,867
Doug and Karen's only crime
is naively benefiting
281
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,160
from systemic inequity.
282
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:46,122
Just grab the loot, you big baby!
283
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,331
Interesting.
284
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:50,626
Wait, what?! You gotta be kidding me!
285
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,544
They robbed us!
286
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,379
The rich kid and the janitor
287
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,756
put aside their differences
to fuck us over!
288
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:58,591
Let's follow their example.
289
00:11:58,592 --> 00:11:59,801
Mob justice!
290
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,470
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
291
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:04,013
- Hold on a second!
- We can explain!
292
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:06,307
- Where's our money?!
- Where's our money?!
293
00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:07,892
We told you, we don't know.
294
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:11,062
You manipulated a working class
to rise against a ruling class.
295
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,189
I was right, Chachaco. You are funny,
296
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:14,691
but not in the "ha ha" way.
297
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:17,569
In the bad way, like,
"Is my dog sitting like that
298
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,320
because he's watching TV with us
299
00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:21,740
or is he 'expressing
his anal glands'" funny.
300
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,158
Oof. Long walk.
301
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,910
Under the Laws of Space,
I sentence you to death.
302
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:27,954
Wait! Jimmy couldn't have done this!
303
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:30,373
I opened the safe and it was empty.
304
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:31,458
Sorry, Doug.
305
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,168
We checked the vault's log,
and the last person
306
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,045
to access it was, in fact,
Jimmy Jamerson.
307
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:40,216
That's not possible.
Jimmy Jamerson is dead.
308
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:41,343
What?!
309
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,554
I don't understand.
310
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,432
Karen, let me make this as
gentle as I can. We're aliens.
311
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,518
Come on, let's go see
your dead son's bones.
312
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,229
Bones?!
313
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,482
Oh, shit. Monkey bones.
Was Jimmy a monkey?
314
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,817
Lizzy! No! I thought you escaped!
315
00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,569
What the hell is going on?!
316
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,695
I'm a zoologist.
317
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:01,781
Not you!
318
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:08,077
- Jimmy?
- And apparently, Guffy Chachaco.
319
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:09,829
They thought I was that guy?!
320
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:13,083
These two hacked the vault 30 minutes
after you all started hypersleep.
321
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,168
So Jimmy's still alive?
322
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,378
Fuck him!
Where the hell is our money?!
323
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,506
They bought a yacht.
It's on Blackjack 9.
324
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,715
They weren't very discreet.
325
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:21,925
Why would they be?
326
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,177
They thought you'd be asleep
for the next 200 years.
327
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,512
Little asshole.
328
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,388
When you woke up,
we thought Jimmy'd grown
329
00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:29,432
into a thoughtful, kind man.
330
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,142
- We were so happy.
- This guy?
331
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:34,395
They were nice, so I was nice back.
Try it sometime, Morty.
332
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:36,564
Sorry to be the "money" guy,
333
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,316
but our cash is on a casino planet
334
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,985
and we're all just standing here?!
335
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,487
Wait! Wait!
336
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,656
All that money did is tear you apart.
337
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,992
From your friends, your neighbors,
even your old home.
338
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,954
But now you can go to
a whole new world as equals.
339
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,413
A place where you can live--
340
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:53,958
Son of a bitch. They're already gone.
341
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,960
Damn it. I was about
to tie it all together.
342
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,838
Space race, Morty! Let's go!
343
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,632
Gonna pay off med school, baby!
344
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,384
Time of death is now!
345
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,511
Hey!
346
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,768
They're gonna kill
each other for that money, Rick!
347
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,228
Why didn't we take your car?!
348
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:18,107
Constellatio gift from a rich uncle.
Be rude not to take it.
349
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:21,693
I never believed in God!
350
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,821
I do believe in God!
I do believe in God!
351
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,869
Chachaco, when I met you,
352
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,121
you were scooping
hot steamers out of a pipe.
353
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,831
So I saved you.
354
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:38,085
Now blow some working-class luck
on these dice, amigo.
355
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:40,962
Jimmy!
356
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,548
All the money goes to the 11-year-old
and his best friend.
357
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,675
- Yeah!
- Hey, turn up the TV.
358
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,635
A massive space race is underway,
359
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,638
apparently chasing down
a large fortune of stolen money.
360
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:52,974
Glizop is live with the story.
Glizop?
361
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,602
Tim, I'm here at the scene,
where I'm gonna be rich!
362
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,687
I quit!
363
00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:58,396
Snap!
364
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:00,899
Wish he didn't do that.
Those mics are expensive.
365
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,320
In any case, here's a picture
of the suspected thieves.
366
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,072
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- Oh, man! Oh, God!
367
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,744
Ah, farts! It's my dumb parents!
368
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,205
Punch it, Chachaco!
Load up the hypercoal!
369
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,963
Hey! I gotta pay for those!
370
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,424
And soon I can!
371
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,260
Lovely pennies, copper pennies
372
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,137
Little window-shopper pennies
373
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:33,765
Lincoln-headed pennies
Touch them when I'm all alone
374
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,224
Son of a bitch!
375
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,351
You're a terrible doctor!
376
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,685
Tell that to my money!
377
00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:38,770
I will!
378
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,855
Eat my pennies, kiss my pennies
379
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,815
Give a lil' miss my pennies
380
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:45,068
If you have a penny,
then I'll have you for my own
381
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,903
That money can't bring back Lizzy,
382
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:50,448
but it can buy another monkey
that I will also name Lizzy.
383
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,283
My mouth is full of pennies, pennies
384
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:55,703
Say it once again
385
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,331
Thank you, New Lizzy.
386
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,166
Tinkly pennies, sweaty pennies
387
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,876
Throw-'em-like-confetti pennies
388
00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:06,547
A hundredth of a dollar
is as much as I require
389
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:08,007
I'm driving the ship!
390
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,426
I'm finally driving the ship!
391
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,347
Rick!
392
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,016
Okay. Think he found a shortcut?
393
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:18,644
No, he's just nuts.
394
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:26,986
My favorite part of the job...
escalating situations.
395
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,367
Hey! The race hasn't started yet!
396
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,244
Kinda bummed to leave
that race behind.
397
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,870
Thought we'd end up winning it
by accident.
398
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:40,123
Oh! Chicken coop cluster!
399
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:42,543
It's all coops! Wall-to-wall coops!
400
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,046
Why would you roll the windows down?
401
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,715
I wanted the full experience.
402
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,466
Pennies, pennies, shiny pennies
403
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,427
Have-them-all-for-mine-y pennies
404
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,303
Melt me down for pennies...
405
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,472
You have the right to remain poor!
406
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:58,349
You have the right to shut up!
407
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,685
- Rick, there's too many of 'em!
- Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
408
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,354
Nothing I won't do to get
a pocketful of cents
409
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,689
Oh, man! They're on our ass!
410
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,817
I'll eat dirt for pennies
411
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,737
Why is this old dude
wearing my Constellatio suit?!
412
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,655
You don't deserve Karen and Doug!
413
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:13,991
Eat a dick!
414
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,578
Blue-collar guys always have an arm.
415
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,373
Oh, I'm gonna be so grounded!
416
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,625
We prepared for this, Jimmy.
417
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,712
Kiss the back of my head.
418
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,672
You little brat!
419
00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:31,216
You can't hit me! I'm a kid!
420
00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:34,011
I can't hit you. You're old.
421
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,099
Back!
422
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,726
I'd hold on to something, Rick.
423
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,312
You wouldn't.
424
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,818
- I can reach it!
- Leave it, Guffy!
425
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:52,196
We'll steal more!
426
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,740
No!
427
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,079
God damn it! We were right there!
428
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,956
These people will never stop killing
each other for this dumb shit.
429
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,459
It's over, Rick.
430
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,836
Chachaco, you funny bastard.
431
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:10,546
All our wealth...
432
00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:11,632
It's gone.
433
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,927
Ah, screw it. I've come this far.
434
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:18,387
What's that lunatic doing?!
435
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:19,973
Taking our money!
436
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,741
I made it way worse.
437
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,660
- Jimmy!
- You're in big trouble, mister!
438
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,454
How could you rob your own parents?!
439
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,666
I'm sorry!
440
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,543
I thought it'd be funny
if you guys woke up
441
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,503
and thought I turned into a monkey.
442
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,755
- In 200 years?!
- You're a piece of shit!
443
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:53,923
You are a piece of shit.
444
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,550
Stay out of this, fake son!
445
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:59,053
Oh, Jimmy, you're a fuckup.
446
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,389
But we always threw cash
at the problem.
447
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,474
Now that we just have
these gold bars,
448
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,143
we'll have to throw ourselves.
449
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:09,356
Dad? I owe money to some bad people.
450
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,443
I set the navigation
to a nearby inhabitable planet.
451
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:17,155
Also gave everyone a compliance chip.
452
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,198
You can finally get that fresh start.
453
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,869
We'll be fine as long
as these poor idiots don't--
454
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,580
Not so fun, is it, you Takey?
455
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,999
And if you remove those chips,
you will die.
456
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,710
Thanks... Rick, right?
457
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:33,504
Yeah. Sorry for pretending
to be a deformed version
458
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,214
of your dead son and try to rob you.
459
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:36,549
That's pretty messed up in hindsight.
460
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,050
It's messed up in any sight.
461
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:40,011
Rick, in only two days,
462
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,305
you were a better son
than Jimmy ever was.
463
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,599
- I can hear you!
- Shut up, Jimmy!
464
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,517
Yeah, shut your fucking mouth!
465
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,895
Using all our money to pay off
your goddamn loan sharks!
466
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,521
You suck, Jimmy!
467
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:53,191
- Ah, I wish you were never born!
- We're putting you up for adoption!
468
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,484
You're a loser!
469
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,153
Welp. The treasure is gone.
470
00:19:57,154 --> 00:20:00,323
And there were massive
casualties on both sides.
471
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,366
Still, I think we did good.
472
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:03,619
Right?
473
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,954
Rick? You okay?
474
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,539
Guess it's true...
475
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,417
You can choose your friends,
but you can't choose your family.
476
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:12,752
But I am family.
477
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,378
And you did choose me.
478
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,005
Yeah, it's a stupid quote.
479
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:19,426
Cryo-ship detected. Class: medical.
480
00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:23,846
They typically have some
pretty good drugs in those.
481
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,723
Okay. But five minutes, tops.
482
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:27,808
And you can't hog
all the drugs this time.
483
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:28,936
Sold!
484
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,638
Five million to call.
485
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,848
New Lizzy, think about this.
486
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:10,686
That's all our money.
We were gonna start a new life.
487
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:15,356
Ah, Jesus, you dumb fucking monkey.
488
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,441
Three of a kind to the lizard man.
489
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:20,278
And a full house for the monkey!
490
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:23,322
New Lizzy! Holy fuck,
I always knew you could do it.
491
00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:24,783
God, I love you!
492
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:29,746
It's days like these that
remind me why I got into this.
493
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:32,749
Did you get any of that?
35910
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