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1
00:00:15,710 --> 00:00:17,863
This is nice, that we all
get to eat together.
2
00:00:17,896 --> 00:00:19,907
- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.
- Absolutely.
3
00:00:22,937 --> 00:00:24,138
Hmm.
4
00:00:26,213 --> 00:00:29,983
Can we maybe put the phones down and
have an actual human conversation?
5
00:00:30,004 --> 00:00:33,913
We can, but thanks to Steve
Jobs, we don't have to.
6
00:00:36,113 --> 00:00:37,807
Guys, guys, you're never
gonna believe this.
7
00:00:37,825 --> 00:00:40,112
- What happened?
- I just got a part on a TV show!
8
00:00:40,135 --> 00:00:41,770
- What? That's great!
- Congratulations!
9
00:00:41,804 --> 00:00:42,899
Guys!
10
00:00:43,487 --> 00:00:45,369
- Oh, yeah!
- Yay, Penny!
11
00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:49,705
- What's the show?
- Um, NC... II...
12
00:00:49,724 --> 00:00:52,882
or, you know, NCSTD...
I don't know,
13
00:00:54,232 --> 00:00:56,679
it's-it's the one with the
letters and I'm gonna be on it!
14
00:00:56,692 --> 00:00:58,545
- That's amazing.
- Yeah.
15
00:00:58,574 --> 00:00:59,367
What's your part?
16
00:00:59,388 --> 00:01:02,641
Um, I play a customer in a diner
and I flirt with Mark Harmon.
17
00:01:02,675 --> 00:01:05,766
Ooh, Mark Harmon,
he's a dreamboat.
18
00:01:07,769 --> 00:01:09,085
So i-it's just flirting?
19
00:01:09,098 --> 00:01:10,858
- Well, yeah. Why?
- Uh, no reason.
20
00:01:10,884 --> 00:01:13,791
I just think it's sexier when
things are left to the imagination.
21
00:01:16,704 --> 00:01:17,985
He's wrong.
22
00:01:18,971 --> 00:01:22,392
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
23
00:01:22,411 --> 00:01:26,228
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
24
00:01:26,255 --> 00:01:27,515
♪ The Earth began to cool
25
00:01:27,536 --> 00:01:30,519
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
26
00:01:30,532 --> 00:01:32,486
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
27
00:01:32,508 --> 00:01:35,290
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
28
00:01:35,309 --> 00:01:37,364
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
29
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:38,501
♪ Bang! ♪
30
00:01:38,519 --> 00:01:41,019
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x12 ♪
The Hesitation Ramification
Original Air Date on January 2, 2014
31
00:01:41,045 --> 00:01:43,545
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
32
00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:46,957
So I-I read a study that
says a man with a dog
33
00:01:46,977 --> 00:01:49,724
is three times more likely to
get a woman's phone number.
34
00:01:49,742 --> 00:01:53,504
Is it true even when the man lets his
dog lick peanut butter off his tongue?
35
00:01:54,846 --> 00:01:56,519
I don't see why not.
36
00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:59,095
If you're really
desperate to meet women
37
00:01:59,113 --> 00:02:01,467
and like having food
eaten out of your mouth,
38
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,380
I could set you up with my mom.
39
00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:07,261
Why is that funny?
40
00:02:08,035 --> 00:02:10,216
That's just unhygienic.
41
00:02:11,029 --> 00:02:12,522
It's a joke.
42
00:02:12,682 --> 00:02:14,271
I don't think so.
43
00:02:14,988 --> 00:02:17,675
I believe that a joke is
a brief oral narrative
44
00:02:17,695 --> 00:02:20,086
with a climactic
humorous twist.
45
00:02:20,325 --> 00:02:23,282
For example, uh, Wolowitz's
mother is so fat
46
00:02:23,302 --> 00:02:25,549
that she decided
to go on a diet...
47
00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,995
or exercise, or both.
48
00:02:31,562 --> 00:02:35,150
See? The twist is that
people don't usually change.
49
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,980
Well, they don't.
50
00:02:42,103 --> 00:02:44,796
Hey, guys, don't forget, my
episode's on TV tomorrow night.
51
00:02:44,817 --> 00:02:46,339
- We'll be there.
- Can we bring anything?
52
00:02:46,359 --> 00:02:48,654
Oh, that's so sweet of you, but I
was gonna steal food from here.
53
00:02:48,677 --> 00:02:51,138
You know... my treat.
54
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,002
Wait, if Howard's
mother is coming,
55
00:02:54,025 --> 00:02:56,058
then you should
also steal marbles.
56
00:03:00,325 --> 00:03:03,110
Because she's obese,
and hippos are obese,
57
00:03:03,129 --> 00:03:07,103
and in the popular board game "Hungry
Hungry Hippos," they eat marbles.
58
00:03:12,063 --> 00:03:14,379
Maybe I need to dumb
these down for you.
59
00:03:17,258 --> 00:03:19,338
Leonard, do you
think I'm funny?
60
00:03:19,370 --> 00:03:20,553
No.
61
00:03:24,091 --> 00:03:25,231
Do you?
62
00:03:25,253 --> 00:03:27,403
I think I'm hysterical.
63
00:03:29,389 --> 00:03:31,688
I take it back. That was funny.
64
00:03:33,805 --> 00:03:36,867
The philosopher Henri
Bergson says it's funny
65
00:03:36,888 --> 00:03:39,944
when a human being
behaves like an object.
66
00:03:40,235 --> 00:03:42,958
I bet that bit killed
at The Chuckle Hut.
67
00:03:44,522 --> 00:03:47,865
Oh, he didn't perform stand-up
comedy, he was a philosopher.
68
00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:52,862
You know, I think we're
zeroing in on your problem.
69
00:03:54,516 --> 00:03:58,745
Perhaps I'll spend some time
developing a unified theory of comedy,
70
00:03:58,765 --> 00:04:02,435
which will allow me to elicit
laughter from anyone at any time.
71
00:04:02,464 --> 00:04:05,344
Unless they're German,
'cause that's a tough crowd.
72
00:04:08,070 --> 00:04:10,365
Are you set on people
laughing with you?
73
00:04:10,382 --> 00:04:12,863
'Cause if you're
cool with at you...
74
00:04:19,496 --> 00:04:21,247
I don't get it.
75
00:04:23,098 --> 00:04:25,818
Raj, when you said you were gonna bring
a date to watch Penny's thing tonight,
76
00:04:25,825 --> 00:04:27,508
I didn't think you meant Stuart.
77
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:33,543
Really? I never for a second
thought it'd be anything else.
78
00:04:34,265 --> 00:04:37,465
I almost met someone
last night, but I blew it.
79
00:04:37,725 --> 00:04:40,429
I was walking Cinnamon and
this girl introduced herself,
80
00:04:40,451 --> 00:04:43,643
but she was so cute I
panicked and said,
81
00:04:43,663 --> 00:04:45,330
"Wouldn't it be easier
if instead of talking
82
00:04:45,355 --> 00:04:47,523
we could just sniff
each other's butts?"
83
00:04:49,313 --> 00:04:51,329
Well, Stuart's cute
in his own way.
84
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:54,705
When I was a baby, my mother
called me her little possum.
85
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,089
- Are possums cute?
- Not at all.
86
00:04:59,219 --> 00:05:02,662
If you're so intimidated by
talking to attractive girls,
87
00:05:02,681 --> 00:05:05,660
maybe you should practice by
talking to regular people.
88
00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:07,660
You mean like fatties and uggos?
89
00:05:09,826 --> 00:05:11,666
Or maybe just stop talking.
90
00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:14,530
I'm serious. Go to the mall,
91
00:05:14,555 --> 00:05:16,314
talk to anybody, practice--
92
00:05:16,339 --> 00:05:19,752
that way, when you eventually do talk
to a cute girl, it won't be so scary.
93
00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:21,936
Or just keep dating the possum.
94
00:05:26,316 --> 00:05:28,738
Parsa doesn't have those
kind of resources.
95
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:31,313
No, and that's why he had
Erin Pace rewire it...
96
00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:32,747
I'm so proud of you.
97
00:05:33,037 --> 00:05:34,435
We haven't even gotten
to my scene yet.
98
00:05:34,462 --> 00:05:36,175
I know,
but you're going to be a TV star
99
00:05:36,197 --> 00:05:38,615
and you haven't left me yet.
That takes guts.
100
00:05:40,535 --> 00:05:43,603
I don't know about you, but I'm
very uncomfortable with all this.
101
00:05:43,625 --> 00:05:44,572
Why?
102
00:05:44,597 --> 00:05:49,441
I've never seen this show before and
now I'm starting with episode 246?
103
00:05:51,245 --> 00:05:52,967
It's unnatural.
104
00:05:54,172 --> 00:05:57,555
Just think of the first
245 as the prequel.
105
00:05:58,965 --> 00:06:00,417
All right.
106
00:06:00,891 --> 00:06:02,912
Okay, shh. Guys,
guys, this is it.
107
00:06:02,951 --> 00:06:04,985
I guess it's you and me, kid.
108
00:06:06,064 --> 00:06:08,505
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to make peace.
109
00:06:08,543 --> 00:06:09,834
- We're good.
- Good.
110
00:06:09,858 --> 00:06:11,465
- Really? Because...
- Are you kidding me?
111
00:06:11,732 --> 00:06:13,574
- What's wrong?
- Well...
112
00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:15,767
the diner scene.
Where's my diner scene?
113
00:06:15,803 --> 00:06:18,901
Well, don't ask me. Until I
see the prequel, I'm lost.
114
00:06:19,822 --> 00:06:22,238
No, there was supposed to be a big
scene with me and Mark Harmon,
115
00:06:22,261 --> 00:06:24,294
but i-it's... gone.
116
00:06:24,466 --> 00:06:25,854
What happened?
117
00:06:26,273 --> 00:06:27,986
They must've cut it.
118
00:06:28,005 --> 00:06:29,739
Oh, Penny...
119
00:06:30,611 --> 00:06:32,232
I'm... I'm sorry.
120
00:06:32,467 --> 00:06:34,254
- That stinks.
- I'm sure you were great.
121
00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:37,017
This doesn't make any sense.
I mean, I...
122
00:06:37,084 --> 00:06:39,534
I thought I did a...
a really good job, I...
123
00:06:41,242 --> 00:06:43,025
Excuse me.
124
00:06:48,195 --> 00:06:51,309
I've been studying how
to make people laugh.
125
00:06:54,028 --> 00:06:58,499
They say that comedy
is tragedy plus time.
126
00:07:00,066 --> 00:07:01,780
Let's tickle some ribs.
127
00:07:06,290 --> 00:07:09,010
No, Dad, I don't think they
cut me out of the show
128
00:07:09,027 --> 00:07:11,098
because I was too pretty.
129
00:07:13,004 --> 00:07:16,781
No, I don't need you to come out
and kick Mark Harmon's ass.
130
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,940
Daddy, I gotta go.
I love you. Bye.
131
00:07:23,032 --> 00:07:26,486
- How you doing?
- Ugh, this is such a disaster.
132
00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:28,745
My parents had all
my relatives over.
133
00:07:28,769 --> 00:07:30,635
They got one of those
six-foot sandwiches,
134
00:07:30,662 --> 00:07:34,798
and got my brother a day
pass out of rehab and...
135
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:39,692
...now he's missing and the
sandwich is missing, and...
136
00:07:39,712 --> 00:07:41,625
They're probably
in Mexico by now.
137
00:07:42,098 --> 00:07:44,133
So humiliating.
138
00:07:44,245 --> 00:07:47,345
You still got the part.
That's a huge accomplishment.
139
00:07:47,371 --> 00:07:48,941
Yeah, but this was supposed
to be my break, okay?
140
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,729
People were gonna see me in this show
and it was gonna lead to bigger things.
141
00:07:51,745 --> 00:07:53,252
More auditions, more parts...
142
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:54,567
Now none of that's
gonna happen.
143
00:07:54,582 --> 00:07:57,915
Honey, you only had, like, three lines.
That wasn't gonna happen anyway.
144
00:08:01,770 --> 00:08:04,131
- Unbelievable.
- Oh...
145
00:08:04,148 --> 00:08:06,091
Come on... no, that's
not what I meant.
146
00:08:06,104 --> 00:08:07,631
- Then what did you mean?
- I don't...
147
00:08:07,648 --> 00:08:10,838
Look, you know, words don't
always have to mean things.
148
00:08:11,436 --> 00:08:14,303
- I think you meant that you
don't believe in me. - Nope.
149
00:08:14,331 --> 00:08:17,006
Uh-uh... I might not
know what I-I meant,
150
00:08:17,031 --> 00:08:18,898
but I know that I
didn't mean that.
151
00:08:18,924 --> 00:08:20,938
Not this guy. Oh, no way.
152
00:08:21,775 --> 00:08:25,401
- I want you, right now, to give me
your 100% honest opinion. - Right.
153
00:08:25,570 --> 00:08:28,898
Do you think I have what it takes
to really make it as an actress?
154
00:08:28,916 --> 00:08:30,596
- Yes.
- So you think I'll be on TV
155
00:08:30,615 --> 00:08:32,475
and in movies and win awards.
156
00:08:32,502 --> 00:08:34,569
- Honestly?
- Yes, honestly.
157
00:08:35,678 --> 00:08:36,984
I don't.
158
00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:40,126
- How could you say that?
- I don't know...
159
00:08:40,147 --> 00:08:42,414
I got all confused when
you said "honestly".
160
00:08:42,436 --> 00:08:43,864
Oh!
161
00:08:46,061 --> 00:08:49,335
Look, do I think that you are
talented and that you are beautiful?
162
00:08:49,353 --> 00:08:50,807
Of course I do.
163
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:54,454
But isn't Los Angeles full of
actresses who are just as talented,
164
00:08:54,473 --> 00:08:56,253
just as beautiful?
165
00:08:56,271 --> 00:08:58,819
All right, look... we'll
come back to that.
166
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:00,892
No, please.
Don't stop, go on.
167
00:09:00,912 --> 00:09:03,199
Tell me how I'm gonna be a
waitress for the rest of my life.
168
00:09:03,224 --> 00:09:04,924
That is not what I said.
169
00:09:04,936 --> 00:09:07,292
Look, I think
you're really good.
170
00:09:07,312 --> 00:09:09,068
I truly do.
171
00:09:09,089 --> 00:09:12,086
But this is an incredibly hard
thing that you're shooting for.
172
00:09:12,113 --> 00:09:17,282
I mean, the odds of anyone becoming a
successful actor are like a million to one.
173
00:09:17,930 --> 00:09:19,729
Wow, thank you.
174
00:09:26,752 --> 00:09:28,741
Should've let Sheldon come.
175
00:09:33,135 --> 00:09:34,783
This is interesting.
176
00:09:34,809 --> 00:09:38,536
Apparently, a key component
in some forms of humor
177
00:09:38,553 --> 00:09:40,803
is the element of surprise.
178
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,533
Well, that makes sense.
179
00:09:42,558 --> 00:09:46,558
The prefrontal cortex is responsible
for planning and anticipation,
180
00:09:46,571 --> 00:09:48,336
and patients with brain
lesions on their...
181
00:09:48,368 --> 00:09:49,992
Brain lesions!
182
00:09:55,853 --> 00:09:58,304
Sheldon, you scared me.
That wasn't funny.
183
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:01,886
Or maybe you have a stick
up your prefrontal cortex.
184
00:10:03,378 --> 00:10:06,858
Okay, the notion that you can
read a few books and come up with
185
00:10:06,883 --> 00:10:09,608
a definitive theory
of comedy is absurd.
186
00:10:09,621 --> 00:10:13,157
I mean, humor is a
complex neurological...
187
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,007
- Okay, that's pretty good.
- Excellent.
188
00:10:29,327 --> 00:10:30,926
How about her?
189
00:10:31,119 --> 00:10:32,956
No! No pretty girls!
190
00:10:32,971 --> 00:10:36,569
The point is to talk to regular people
and work our way up to pretty girls.
191
00:10:36,591 --> 00:10:38,040
Fine.
192
00:10:39,103 --> 00:10:41,289
How about that old
lady with the walker?
193
00:10:42,529 --> 00:10:43,770
That depends.
194
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,587
On any level, do you
think she's hot?
195
00:10:48,103 --> 00:10:49,912
We'll find somebody else.
196
00:10:52,638 --> 00:10:54,168
Kumquat?
197
00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:58,596
I guess.
198
00:11:00,805 --> 00:11:02,285
Ointment?
199
00:11:04,115 --> 00:11:05,584
Sure.
200
00:11:06,892 --> 00:11:09,034
Now, would you say ointment
201
00:11:09,047 --> 00:11:13,571
is more, equal to, or
less funny than kumquat?
202
00:11:16,141 --> 00:11:19,023
I don't think I want to
go out with you anymore.
203
00:11:20,152 --> 00:11:22,997
Will you please stop joking around?
I'm trying to figure this out.
204
00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:26,277
Sheldon, how many words
are you gonna go through?
205
00:11:26,306 --> 00:11:27,696
All of them.
206
00:11:30,717 --> 00:11:32,735
You didn't get your part cut.
207
00:11:33,549 --> 00:11:34,923
All right, baby,
here's the deal.
208
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:37,462
And you didn't get
your part cut.
209
00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:41,765
Yep, bunch of old guys
rocking out in a band,
210
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:44,873
all with erectile dysfunction,
you didn't get your part cut!
211
00:11:49,305 --> 00:11:50,272
Hey.
212
00:11:50,312 --> 00:11:51,732
Can we talk?
213
00:11:51,768 --> 00:11:54,850
We can, but the part
of Penny might get cut.
214
00:11:57,099 --> 00:11:59,654
That was really crappy of me.
215
00:12:00,481 --> 00:12:03,786
What you're trying to do is
hard, but people do make it,
216
00:12:03,817 --> 00:12:07,037
and I really do believe
you could be one of them.
217
00:12:08,298 --> 00:12:09,777
Thank you.
218
00:12:10,247 --> 00:12:11,434
And...
219
00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:13,905
to show you how much
I believe in you,
220
00:12:13,917 --> 00:12:16,916
I kind of got you an audition.
221
00:12:17,044 --> 00:12:19,084
Are you serious? For what?
222
00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:21,083
- The new Star Wars movie.
- What?!
223
00:12:21,528 --> 00:12:23,098
How did you manage that?!
224
00:12:23,104 --> 00:12:25,117
There's this thing online,
you put yourself on tape
225
00:12:25,137 --> 00:12:27,419
and just send it in--
anyone can do it.
226
00:12:29,566 --> 00:12:31,784
Come on Leonard,
this is just a PR stunt.
227
00:12:31,804 --> 00:12:35,133
So? Even if it is, you
have a huge advantage
228
00:12:35,153 --> 00:12:36,873
because you're an
actual actress.
229
00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:39,818
Most of the people doing this
are just weirdoes and nerds.
230
00:12:41,757 --> 00:12:43,918
Wolowitz sent his in
two days ago.
231
00:12:45,304 --> 00:12:46,679
Really, let it go.
232
00:12:46,706 --> 00:12:48,309
Look, maybe it is a long shot,
233
00:12:48,329 --> 00:12:50,847
but sometimes
long shots happen.
234
00:12:50,874 --> 00:12:54,490
Luke Skywalker was only given one
chance to destroy the Death Star.
235
00:12:54,517 --> 00:12:58,637
He had to get a torpedo into an exhaust
port that was only two meters wide,
236
00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:00,455
but with the help
of The Force, he...
237
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,313
Wow, I can feel you
hating me right now.
238
00:13:07,468 --> 00:13:10,113
How about that lady in the
sweat suit, speed-walking?
239
00:13:10,139 --> 00:13:12,824
Yeah, she seems
friendly and easy to...
240
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:14,361
Never mind, she's gone.
241
00:13:16,271 --> 00:13:19,419
Yeah, maybe talking
to people is too hard.
242
00:13:20,413 --> 00:13:24,072
We could go over to that department
store, practice on the mannequins.
243
00:13:24,362 --> 00:13:26,382
I don't know. They're
dressed very stylishly.
244
00:13:26,395 --> 00:13:28,275
They're probably stuck-up.
245
00:13:31,203 --> 00:13:32,503
This is ridiculous.
246
00:13:32,525 --> 00:13:36,685
The next person that walks by, no
matter who it is, they're the one.
247
00:13:40,989 --> 00:13:42,718
We're gonna die here.
248
00:13:45,526 --> 00:13:47,224
- Hello.
- Hey.
249
00:13:47,389 --> 00:13:48,422
Where's Sheldon?
250
00:13:48,442 --> 00:13:52,375
He's home trying to use science
to determine the basis of humor.
251
00:13:52,409 --> 00:13:54,849
- That's interesting.
- It's exhausting.
252
00:13:54,872 --> 00:13:56,232
Do you have any
idea how hard it is
253
00:13:56,255 --> 00:13:58,418
to laugh at a knock-knock
joke that starts with,
254
00:13:58,438 --> 00:13:59,427
"Knock-knock-knock, Amy,
255
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,599
knock-knock-knock, Amy,
knock-knock-knock, Amy"?
256
00:14:03,374 --> 00:14:07,240
If you want him to stop, sometimes the
easiest thing to do is just fake a laugh.
257
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:08,854
Fake a laugh?
258
00:14:11,377 --> 00:14:13,217
Do you ever do that with me?
259
00:14:13,459 --> 00:14:15,529
No, of course not.
260
00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:18,145
Well, I'd be able
to tell anyway.
261
00:14:18,502 --> 00:14:20,439
I don't think you would.
262
00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:23,464
Please, I've made
plenty of girls laugh,
263
00:14:23,483 --> 00:14:25,375
sometimes just by
asking them out.
264
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,383
Yeah? Well, I fake my orgasms.
265
00:15:02,962 --> 00:15:07,012
Yes, how much for a hundred
long-stemmed red roses?
266
00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:09,476
Really?
267
00:15:10,236 --> 00:15:12,013
How much for three?
268
00:15:15,060 --> 00:15:17,285
- Hey.
- Yeah, I'll call you back.
269
00:15:18,914 --> 00:15:21,467
Look, I know you were
just trying to help
270
00:15:21,486 --> 00:15:25,039
with your Star Wars thing. I
didn't mean to call it idiotic.
271
00:15:25,062 --> 00:15:27,424
Well, I don't think
you called it idiotic.
272
00:15:27,467 --> 00:15:28,466
Oh.
273
00:15:28,501 --> 00:15:30,227
Sorry, I meant to.
274
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:36,048
Anyway, um, I was just
upset with myself.
275
00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:37,951
I wasn't mad at you.
276
00:15:38,996 --> 00:15:41,236
I just feel like everything
is falling apart.
277
00:15:41,764 --> 00:15:42,685
Come on. It's okay.
278
00:15:42,707 --> 00:15:44,396
No, it's not okay!
Look at me, okay?!
279
00:15:44,415 --> 00:15:48,712
I took a temp job as a waitress
forever ago, and I'm still doing it.
280
00:15:48,853 --> 00:15:51,602
I can't quit, because guess what?
I can't do anything else.
281
00:15:51,610 --> 00:15:54,847
And I finally get my big
break, and it goes away!
282
00:15:55,073 --> 00:15:56,274
I'm such a mess.
283
00:15:56,287 --> 00:15:57,940
- No, you're not.
- Really?!
284
00:15:57,961 --> 00:16:02,062
'Cause this morning at Starbucks, a pair
of old underwear fell out of my pant leg!
285
00:16:04,802 --> 00:16:07,282
And it wasn't the
only one in there.
286
00:16:09,449 --> 00:16:12,456
Okay, listen to me, this
is just a minor setback.
287
00:16:12,476 --> 00:16:15,357
No, it's not, okay?! I've been
out here for, like, ten years!
288
00:16:15,376 --> 00:16:17,190
I've nothing to show for it!
289
00:16:17,204 --> 00:16:19,071
Well, you have me.
290
00:16:20,143 --> 00:16:21,462
You're right.
291
00:16:23,337 --> 00:16:24,530
I do have you.
292
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:27,082
Mm...
293
00:16:28,432 --> 00:16:30,183
Let's get married.
294
00:16:32,338 --> 00:16:33,672
What?
295
00:16:37,054 --> 00:16:38,841
Ooh!
296
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,919
Leonard Hofstadter...
297
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,343
will you marry me?
298
00:16:44,745 --> 00:16:46,174
Um...
299
00:16:48,664 --> 00:16:51,051
Did you seriously
just say, "Um"?!
300
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,559
Look,
301
00:16:53,584 --> 00:16:55,491
you know I love you,
302
00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:58,797
but-but you're-you're drunk
and sad and feeling lost...
303
00:16:58,823 --> 00:17:01,757
Okay, so-so you don't
want to marry me?!
304
00:17:01,779 --> 00:17:03,004
That is not what I said.
305
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,147
No, forget it! I take it back!
Offer's off the table!
306
00:17:05,176 --> 00:17:07,527
Who's in the mood to laugh?!
307
00:17:10,547 --> 00:17:11,733
Really not a good time.
308
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:14,492
But I used science to
construct the perfect joke.
309
00:17:14,505 --> 00:17:16,172
- I'm gonna go.
- Penny, don't.
310
00:17:16,194 --> 00:17:18,316
No, no, I just need to be alone.
311
00:17:22,722 --> 00:17:26,556
So, a sandwich, a rabbi and
yo mama walk into a bar.
312
00:17:28,016 --> 00:17:29,472
- Where are you going?
- To my room.
313
00:17:29,517 --> 00:17:31,326
- Should I follow you?
- No.
314
00:17:32,163 --> 00:17:33,586
Leonard, wait.
315
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:34,478
What?
316
00:17:34,516 --> 00:17:37,734
I forgot to tell you the
sandwich is promiscuous.
317
00:17:48,864 --> 00:17:52,087
How about those guys on that bench
over there? They look pathetic.
318
00:17:52,109 --> 00:17:53,921
I bet we could talk to them.
319
00:17:54,372 --> 00:17:55,839
That's a mirror.
320
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,354
Oh, yeah.
321
00:18:01,735 --> 00:18:03,425
Hey, fellas, mall's closing.
322
00:18:03,444 --> 00:18:05,582
- Sorry.
- Yeah. Good night.
323
00:18:06,933 --> 00:18:08,366
Uh, excuse me.
324
00:18:08,623 --> 00:18:10,102
Yeah?
325
00:18:11,297 --> 00:18:14,355
Uh, do-do you like being
a mall security guard?
326
00:18:15,686 --> 00:18:17,147
It's all right.
327
00:18:17,515 --> 00:18:19,718
Okay, nice talking to you.
328
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:26,068
Smooth...!
329
00:18:35,432 --> 00:18:36,999
Can't sleep?
330
00:18:38,021 --> 00:18:39,447
No.
331
00:18:43,212 --> 00:18:45,340
Would you like
to talk about it?
332
00:18:47,845 --> 00:18:50,894
Penny proposed, and
I didn't say yes.
333
00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:53,883
Why not?
334
00:18:55,731 --> 00:18:57,849
That's a good question.
335
00:19:00,563 --> 00:19:03,012
Does that mean the
relationship is over?
336
00:19:03,870 --> 00:19:05,523
I don't know.
337
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,500
Why don't you ask her?
338
00:19:10,809 --> 00:19:14,267
Because I'm afraid
to know the answer.
339
00:19:18,389 --> 00:19:20,140
Well...
340
00:19:21,212 --> 00:19:22,428
I'm sorry.
341
00:19:24,891 --> 00:19:26,345
That's it?
342
00:19:26,377 --> 00:19:28,158
You're not gonna make some
343
00:19:28,183 --> 00:19:30,853
dumb joke or some
inappropriate comment?
344
00:19:31,354 --> 00:19:32,751
No.
345
00:19:33,544 --> 00:19:35,691
You're my friend, and...
346
00:19:37,024 --> 00:19:38,524
I'm sorry.
347
00:19:43,396 --> 00:19:46,322
Did you just put a "kick me"
sign on my back?
348
00:19:52,271 --> 00:19:53,826
No.
349
00:19:54,371 --> 00:19:56,479
That wouldn't be funny at all.
350
00:20:09,355 --> 00:20:11,724
Star Wars audition, take one...
351
00:20:12,792 --> 00:20:15,709
starring Howard Joel Wolowitz,
352
00:20:15,739 --> 00:20:17,970
real-life astronaut.
353
00:20:24,042 --> 00:20:25,783
Vader is here...
354
00:20:26,095 --> 00:20:28,842
now... on this moon.
355
00:20:28,876 --> 00:20:30,633
I felt his presence.
356
00:20:30,988 --> 00:20:32,348
He's come for me.
357
00:20:32,383 --> 00:20:34,050
He can feel when I'm near...
358
00:20:34,057 --> 00:20:35,345
How many times do I
have to tell you
359
00:20:35,370 --> 00:20:37,779
to replace the toilet
paper when it's empty?!
360
00:20:39,386 --> 00:20:42,154
- I'm in the middle of something!
- So am I!
361
00:20:42,793 --> 00:20:47,793
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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