All language subtitles for The Big Bang Theory - 7x07 - The Proton Displacement.720p.WEB-DL.en

I've never seen him
this happy before.

That's because you've never seen him
on "Restock the Medicine Cabinet Day."

Look! A new topical
antihistamine with lidocaine.

Wow!

I can't wait until I get a rash.

Oh, Gas-X has a new
ultra strength.

I guess they really
do read their mail.

Hey, isn't that
Professor Proton?

Oh, yeah.

Look at him, just
standing in line

like he wasn't moderately
famous 30 years ago.

- Let's go say hello.
- Oh, maybe we shouldn't bother him.

I'm not going to bother him,
I'm going to talk to him.

He thinks there's a difference.

Arthur?

Arthur, it's me--

Sheldon Cooper.

You may not remember because
of your advanced age.

Trust me, I... I remember.

This is my girlfriend, Amy.

Amy, this is television
legend Arthur Jeffries.

His science show inspired
millions of children.

Hold-Hold-Hold on.

You... You have a girlfriend?

Yes, and I've heard
so much about you.

Hey look-- we're wearing
the same orthopedic shoes.

I can't believe I dress
like a celebrity.

O-Okay, I get it now.

Dr. Jeffries, hello again.
Leonard Hofstadter.

Oh, oh, right, I remember
your-your girlfriend.

Is-Is she... is she here?

No, she's not.

So, what prescription
are you getting filled?

- Sheldon. - No. Wait, I want
to guess. Don't tell me.

I wasn't going to tell you.

- Sheldon, come on.
- No, no, no. I'm really good at this.

All right, give me a hint. Does it involve
difficulty initiating a stream of anything?

Well, given my age, that's
more than just a lucky guess.

Hey, Sheldon, let's go
mock the people

buying homeopathic medicine--
you love that.

But I'm hanging out with my
friend, and we're having fun.

Look how happy he is.

♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool

♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪

♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

♪ Bang! ♪

♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x07 ♪
The Proton Displacement
Original Air Date on November 7, 2013

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

Oh, Bernie's having a girls' night
on Friday at our place.

You want to do something?

- Actually, I'm busy.
- Doing what?

There's a new sports bar
over on Colorado Ave...

- You're going to girls' night.
- Yeah.

You know they're making
jewelry right?

You think they
came up with that?

They were going to drink
beer and play darts.

- What's up?
- Not his testosterone levels.

Excuse me. I happen to be very
comfortable with my masculinity.

How is that possible?

Hey, I got an email
from Professor Proton.

Goody!
What's it say?

He's working on a paper
about nano vacuum tubes,

and wants to know if
I'd take a look at it.

That's strange.

That he would come to you
for that and not me.

Oh, I got two emails from him.

"Do you have Leonard's
email address?"

And...

"Never mind, I found it."

I can't believe he
picked you over me.

You don't want to read a
paper by some old has-been

who hasn't done any real
science in decades.

Yeah, it's nothing
to cry about.

Sheldon Cooper does not cry.

It's true, you'd rust.

And to think I
idolized that man.

And why?

At the end of the day he's just
another Hollywood phony.

Is it really worth
getting upset about?

They say don't meet your heroes.

Don't peek behind that curtain
of fame and celebrity,

because if you do, you'll see
them as they really are--

degenerate carnival folk.

Come on, he's a retired
kids show host.

That's even worse.

Using the sweet candy of science
to trick children into loving him.

Pervert.

Have you ever thought about why Arthur
didn't want you to read his paper?

Yes, I have.

And my only conclusion

is the prescription he was picking up
the other day was for cuckoo pills.

Maybe he found you,
um, a bit much.

That's kind of a stretch.

Look, when it comes to social skills,
I've mastered the big three.

There's the coy smile.

There's the friendly chuckle.

There's the vocalization
of sympathy.

Aw...

That last one's tricky,
I'm still working on it.

From what I saw the other day, I
could understand why he and...

some people might find you...

What?

Doesn't matter.

No, go ahead, say it.

I know what it is.

I've heard it my whole life.

The word's "annoying".
Go ahead, say it.

Say it. Say I'm annoying.

- Sheldon...
- Oh, it won't hurt my feelings.

Go ahead, Amy, say I'm annoying.

I'm annoying.
I'm annoying.

I'm annoying. Yeah, now, uh...
Now where are you going?

Look, you know you want
to say it-- say it.

Say I'm annoying.
Go ahead, say it.

Say it. Say it. Amy, say it.

Well, she can't stand
it when I'm right.

This is fun.

I'm going to feel like such
a vixen wearing jewelry

that doesn't have a list
of medications I'm allergic to.

Penny, how's it
going over there?

Good-- I'm just having
little trouble with the glue.

How do you not know how to use glue?
Did you ditch pre-school?

Yeah, but only because I was
dating a second grader.

Hello, everyone.

Okay, let me have it.

Let's hear all the
"Raj is a girl" jokes.

Nope. Bernadette told me it
isn't nice and I'm not allowed.

Thank you.

So I won't be making fun of
you, or the things you like,

or the fact that you
just want to have fun.

Howie, stop. Come on,
look at what I'm making.

Oh, that's actually pretty nice.

- I'm making a bracelet.
- Yeah, I'm just making a mess.

You know, instead of beads and glue,
you guys can use my soldering iron.

You'd be able to make
much cooler stuff.

Oh, I think we're doing
just fine, thank you.

- Actually, I'd kind of like to try that.
- Me, too.

Be right back.

When did I have pistachios?

Arthur.

Arthur.

Arthur.

Door knocker.

That's TV money.

Sheldon, what are
you doing here?

I'm sorry, did I wake you?

Of course you woke
me, it's 7:30.

Well, I would
have been here sooner,

but for some reason your home isn't
on this map of Hollywood stars.

What do you want, Sheldon?

It's been pointed out by my girlfriend
that I may have been annoying to you.

She sounds like a keeper.

Anyway, I wanted to apologize.

I am truly sorry.

All right, apology accepted.
Have a nice night.

No, no, now that...
we've cleared the air,

I wanted to discuss another
matter with you.

Sheldon, in a couple
hours, I have to get up,

pee and then wander
around the house.

Well, then, I'll make
this quick. Um,

I want to talk about the
paper you sent Leonard.

Now, I know he said it's promising
and he's going to collaborate on it,

but now that you and I are friends
again, I am at your disposal.

Amd frankly, lending
my name and reputation

to it will help, because a lot of people
think that you're a washed-up has-been.

Or dead.

I should be so lucky.

So, uh, what do you say?

You know, if it's all the same with
you, I think I'll stick with Leonard.

It's because I'm
annoying, right?

I know it is.
Say it.

Say it.
Say I'm annoying.

- Good night.
- Say it.

Arthur, say it. Say I'm annoying.
Say it. Say it.

I'm annoying.
Say it.

You're annoying!

Wow, that really hurt.

If you would have told me
when I was a kid

that someday I would be doing
science next to Professor Proton,

I would not have believed you.

If someone had told me that people
would still call me Professor Proton

when I was 83 years old,

I never would have quit smoking.

I'm sorry, Dr. Jeffries,
I'm just excited.

This nano vacuum tube idea of
yours is really interesting.

Hello, Leonard. Oh,
hello, Arthur.

What an odd coincidence
that you're both here.

Why is it odd?

Because as it just so happens,
I'm also spending the day

with a beloved children's
television science personality.

Isn't that right,
new friend and colleague,

Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Sorry, I replaced you
with a newer model.

Wow, Arthur Jeffries. It's
an honor to meet you.

My show never would have
happened without yours.

That's what I told my lawyers.

Mr. Nye, hello. I'm sorry he got
you involved in this nonsense.

He said I'd be
speaking to a class.

No, I said you were
teaching someone a lesson.

Now let's go.

What are you guys working on?

Oh, uh, we're making
nano vacuum tubes.

Oh...

That's interesting.

Haven't you stolen enough from me?
Back off, bow tie!

Hey, guys...

What do you think?

Wow, Penny, good job.

Thanks. Target, $4.99.
I'm getting a drink.

What are you working on?

Oh, I'm making a
necklace for my mom.

That's sweet.

Yeah, she and my dad are going
through a bit of a rough patch,

so I wanted to do something to let
her know I was thinking about her.

What's going on with them?

They're just having a little
trouble communicating.

My dad says it's because
the sound of my mom's voice

makes him want to tear his ears
off and sew them over his eyes

so he never has to
look at her again.

- Hi. - Hey, guys.
- Hello.

Look who's here to put the
"Jew" in "Jewelry Night"!

Oh, sure, so it's fine
when you say it.

Sorry we're late.

I wanted to swing by the lab and pick up
some even cooler tools for us to use.

I didn't know you
were coming again.

Well, last week was a blast.

Plus, I thought you might
like having a guy here.

It was not funny.

So, what tools did you bring?

Everything we need
to make jewelry molds.

Here's some silver, a crucible and
an acetylene torch to melt it down.

Ooh, that looks like fun.

Maybe you should master glue
before you move on to fire.

Okay, who's up first?

Rajesh, do you want to make a bracelet
for your mom to go with the necklace?

No, thanks.

I was gonna make a
necklace for my mom,

but unfortunately, she
doesn't have a neck.

She's just chins
and fat and feet.

Okay, we're almost ready to go.

Once we bond the wires,
we can test the tubes.

This is so exciting, I-I feel...

like I'm 75 again.

Oh, God.

What... what is it?

Sheldon just sent me a picture of
him and Bill Nye getting smoothies.

- Can-can I ask you a question?
- Yeah, sure.

W-Why do you put
up with Sheldon?

Oh, uh, you know,
because we're friends.

Why?

- Wow, you ask really hard questions.
- Yeah.

Look, I-I know
he can be aggravating,

but what you have to remember is
that he's not doing it on purpose.

It's just how he is.

But he's also loyal and trustworthy
and we have fun together...

You... you know you're
describing a dog.

He did bite me once.

But in his defense, I came up behind
him while he was eating, so...

Yeah, they-they hate that.

You know what, Sheldon is the smartest
person I have ever met. And...

he's a little broken
and he needs me.

I guess I need him, too.

Why-why is that?

Boy, you will not let
this go, will you?

Oh, geez.

- Another photo from Sheldon?
- No, I have to go pick him up.

Bill Nye ditched him
at the smoothie place.

He probably stole
his wallet, too.

You know, if you guys
are interested,

there's a technique where
I can take a lock of your hair,

refine it into carbon dust,

and use the hydraulic press at work
to turn it into a tiny little diamond

with your DNA in it.

- Oh, that's amazing!
- Yeah. See Bernie's engagement ring?

That came right off
my mom's back.

He's kidding.

If that were true, it'd
be so much bigger.

"My name is Howard. I can
make your hair into diamonds.

My mom is morbidly obese.
Everybody love me."

Whoa, where is that coming from?

I'll tell you where
it's coming from.

All you do is make fun of me
for coming to girls' night

and now you're here
ruining it for everyone.

Raj, cool it... he's gonna
make us hair diamonds.

How am I ruining anything? I'm just
trying to help you make better jewelry.

But this isn't
about the jewelry.

This is about me having a place where
I can open up about my feelings.

Since when can't you
open up with me?

There are just some things that I feel
more comfortable sharing with the girls,

because they won't
make fun of me

or and call me names, or ask me if
my "Koothrapanties are in a bunch."

Buddy, I was just
joking around.

Yeah, well, sometimes
your jokes hurt.

Well, you're right.

I didn't realize I was
making you feel that way.

It was very brave
of you to tell me.

Thank you.

It wasn't easy.

They're gonna have sex before
Sheldon and I do, I know it.

- Arthur.
- Hi, Sheldon.

I'm surprised to see you here.

Yeah, me, too.

Somewhere around the third floor,
I began to see a white light.

- I'll get Leonard.
- No, no, no, I'm...

I'm here... I'm here to see you.

If you're hoping to get in touch
with Bill Nye, I can't help you.

I've been informed that he's now
Bill Nye the Restraining Order Guy.

No, I'm... I-I was thinking,
if it isn't too much trouble,

I'd like to get your
opinion about my-my paper.

Thank you.

It would be an honor.

Oh. Uh, great.

Well, actually,
I don't need that.

I hacked into your e-mail
account and read it.

And...

what did you think?

Well, first,
I think the fact that

you use your birthday as a
password is embarrassing.

Mmm. Thank you.

Second, um...

I thought your
paper was inspired.

Oh, well, that... that
means a lot to me.

Can I invite you in for tea?

Uh, no, no. I-I really...

I have... I have to run.

Hey, Arthur.
How are you?

Well, I guess one
cup wouldn't hurt.

Oh, hey, buddy, what's up?

Well, I was feeling bad about
how I acted the other night so

I made you a little something.

- You didn't have to do that.
- Well, it was fun.

I used some of the jewelry
techniques you taught us.

It's a lightsaber belt buckle.

Wow, this is so cool,

- Thanks.
- Oh gets better.

Wow!

And that's not even
the best part. See?

I have one, too.

Check it out.

You can wear yours and we can have
little sword fights whenever we want.

Yeah, and my eighth favorite episode of
Professor Proton was "Alka-Seltzer Rocket."

You said, "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz,
oh, what a blast-off it is."

Remember? Remember that?
Remember?

He can't help it. He can't.
He really can't.

Oh! Wait here.

I'll get some Alka-Seltzer,
we can build that rocket,

and we can shoot it
at Bill Nye's house.

As long as I'm not
within 500 feet of it.

So, you, uh...

you have... you have any...

single grandmothers?

Sorry, they're both married.

- Good.
- Mmm.

H-Happily?

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther