Original subtitles

Don't feel sorry for me.

You really shouldn't.

Of course, when you see me like this for the first time,

I look as a poor paraplegic.

And yet, I'm happy.

My secret?

I look at what I have and not at what I don't have.

Yes, my legs are dead,

but I'm comfortable in my chair,

and with that chair I can do almost anything.

And then, I still have my hands, my arms,

my head, obviously,

and my cock that works pretty well.

As well as my toy car.

Doesn't it, Jeanne?

This swimming pool,

this wonderful villa...

It all belongs to me.

Do you think I could have afforded it without my insurance payment?

The rule is simple: look at what you have

and not at what you don't have.

Soon you too will understand.

If you want to sustain your life, you have no other option.

PARADISE FOR ALL

Written by Alain Jessua and André Ruellan

Frédéric Bertrand and his contrabass

Désiré Rech and her chimpanzees Daniel Vérité and his stunts

Cinematography by Jacques Robin

Music by René Koering and Costin Miereanu Performed by Michel Portal

Edited by Hélène Plemiannikov

Produced and directed by Alain Jessua

I must put things in order.

The report... Here it is.

According to the police report

which reconstructed the events based on various testimonies,

here is what happened on the evening of August 11 last year.

An individual, Durieux Alain (it's me),

made an attempt to jump from the top floor of Mutuelle Vie,

the insurance company he worked for.

I landed without a scratch,

but they immediately took me to the mental hospital.

What do you need, my love?

I'm looking for the hospital tape.

I brought them.

They're in my briefcase,

on the chair by the front door.

Pierre!

Pierre!

I have examined your file.

Married, regular job,

no financial troubles.

Apparently, you have everything to be happy.

Right.

That's it.

I almost croaked of happiness.

Don't say that, Mr. Durieux.

I was told that psychiatrists were like cops.

You're even better, you put your heart into work.

I'm listening.

After all, sometime later,

it'll be just another miserable story on your shelf.

At 20,

a guy wanted to become a great lawyer

to defend poor people from injustice.

At 30, he was foisting insurance on these same poor people

and trapping them even more.

I can cure you.

It's a brand-new therapy.

It will never cure my life.

As for being your guinea pig,

it's out of the question.

What made you so interested in me?

You were the perfect model of the urban depressive.

Everything in you was screaming about it.

Your life, your dreams, your desires.

I absolutely wanted you to be my first flashed.

And how did you manage to convince me?

Please, save him, doctor.

I can cure your husband.

It's a brand-new therapy that applies exactly to his case.

But I need your consent.

- Have you discussed it with him? - Yes, and he agreed.

But, given his state of acute depression, his consent doesn't worth much.

I don't want him to suffer.

The flashing...

It's how we call the procedure... is totally painless.

Pierre!

- I only care about your husband's health. - Pierre!

I'm running a bath, real hot, just the way you like it.

Come quickly, before it gets cold.

I'm sorry.

Pierre was cautious enough to not record what happened next.

I guess, he had to force events a little bit.

Next morning, Joelle, his assistant, came for me.

Lie down, please.

What's this?

It's a scanner.

An X-ray machine, coupled with a computer

that allows to obtain the whole picture

of the internal structure of your brain.

How lucky you are, doctor!

You're going to discover wonders!

This area is called the hypothalamus.

I'm going to focus for a short moment

a beam of microwaves

on an extremely precise fragment of it.

And, I hope, your anxiety will go away.

You'll feel nothing.

Are you sleeping?

- Will you play tennis with us? - No.

Thank you, but I still have a lot to do.

Why are you writing this?

I think of our child.

I want him to know.

Maybe he'll find it interesting.

And then there are copyrights.

Yes, indeed.

See you later, my love.

A week later I left the clinic.

Don't worry, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I forgot how much I loved our city.

It's good to come back home.

Back already?

To make love to her, I had to work it out with Edith.

- Aren't there three of us? - No.

- She won't come down. - Why?

Do you want more of her?

Don't you remember?

Yes, I called her an old painted clown,

but there's nothing to make a fuss about.

Besides, she paints her face much better now.

Right.

I'll go get her.

- Who's there? - It's me, Edith.

I'd like you to join us.

No, no. I'm not hungry.

Edith...

Please, come. It's my first family dinner.

I'm tired.

You look in great shape though!

Your color...

You have a young girl's skin!

You're saying this just to please me.

No. Believe me, I'm not.

Well...

But it's only for you.

Give me your arm.

- Here. - No, thanks.

But it's Châteauneuf.

I bought it especially for you.

I drank enough. I'm good without it.

Alain said that I'm in great shape.

True, it's been 3 weeks since I did this extraplacental therapy.

It gives me such a color, just wonderful!

Your godmother should do it, she really needs it.

Yes, mom.

Do you know that they replaced our Alain?

He's smiling, polite,

clean as a whistle.

Mom, please.

I'm paying a compliment.

He's here, with us.

And you speak of him as if he didn't exist.

Listen, my little girl,

with my sensibility

- ...and my comprehension of things... - Your sensibility?

You haven't any sensibility! What are you talking about?

And the shouting match started, according to the standard procedure.

With you, even a saint would lose her calm!

A saint? Yes, you're right.

I gave it all to you! Sacrificed my best years!

And the responsibilities?

- When your father died... - Mother!

I love the world they're describing.

It's all about tenderness,

comfort,

harmony.

By the way, I should do my hair like him.

"Lovers"!

Jesus, you're a monster!

Mom!

Mom, please!

Mom!

Open the door.

Open the door, Mom!

These stockings would look great on Jeanne.

Feeling...

Feeling...

The stockings of the year 2000.

Definitely,

I should buy her these stockings.

We're feeling good, right?

Oh yes.

We're feeling good.

Hi, Armand!

Well, well...

Dressed to the nines, as always?

But tell me...

Your jumpsuit seems brighter. Did they change the color?

You noticed? It's better that way.

I was promoted to bin van driver, that makes me easier to stay clean.

Well done, old chap, but why are you doing the cleaning?

I just like it.

When I lived here, I always did it myself.

I'm glad it was you who bought the villa.

You manage it right.

And for me, eventually, it gives only profit.

Want to take a bath? Want me to help you?

No, thank you.

Have fun.

Make yourself at home.

You smile, you keep smiling!

But you should be ashamed, Mr. Durieux!

You lie to my assistant, you spell her with your charm,

you finally get an appointment and then you try to hook me!

Under the guise of "investment"

you try to foist your shitty contract on me!

Why the hell should I care

about life insurance?

I'm very well, thank you.

Still healthy and young. How old are you?

- 35. - Like me.

But what's your balance, pal?

You're still hustling, fudging, playing dirty...

Funny, before I couldn't stand a guy talking to me like that.

And now, looking at him going mad, I felt nothing but curiosity.

As if it was a large insect, trapped and buzzing.

You're just a miserable wretch!

You don't even exist.

Why don't you get the hell out of here?

You didn't ask me for it.

That's right.

Mr. Durieux!

Yes?

How do you manage to keep calm in front of people like me?

It's a long story, I don't want to...

Please, sit down.

Well, here's the thing.

I look at what I have

and not at what I don't have.

You, for instance, have all to be happy.

That's what I keep saying to myself.

However, when I'm trying to draw up the balance...

- I don't know where I'm at... - That's it, I opened the floodgates.

Now he was being encouraged by my big smile.

The more I succeed, the more I work.

The more I work, the more I earn and, obviously, the more I spend.

And I can't stop working, because I spend too much.

My wife and kids are used to it.

I'm just a cash cow for them.

Wait for the next one...

This is my favorite.

Mr. Durieux, I feel that you understand.

I've had enough. I can't sleep.

I think about nothing but bills and money.

I don't fuck anymore. I'm afraid of the future.

Show me your contract.

I don't want to force you, above all.

Just listen to this hypocrite.

"I don't want to force you, above all".

What is your trick to make them talk?

It's simple. There're all anxious.

Anxious or not, I would insult him back.

That's the last thing you must do.

Please, give me your tape.

I think the marketing guys will be interested.

Alain, I really don't regret giving you a second chance.

You've almost reached the numbers of Marc,

our best agent.

You're very effective.

Another thing.

I've just been appointed head of the foreign department.

We're very happy for you.

My current position will be vacant.

Your results will be scrutinized.

May the best one win.

See you tomorrow.

You're going up.

I'm happy to see you recovered.

No grudge, I hope?

- I wasn't always nice with you. - No.

It was me who was derailing, feeling sorry for myself.

I didn't know where I was at.

We're not going to part like this.

I invite you with Jeanne.

- Let's have a party. - OK.

But Edith...

Bring Edith with you.

Excuse me.

I'll be right back.

To your recovery.

I'm happy, you know.

You're so gentle with me

and with Edith...

Let's go! I want to have fun!

You're not going?

No, no.

I'm too old for this. I'm going to watch you.

You'll see what you'll see.

I was a school champion.

- Your hand, Madame. - Let's go.

Mom, come here!

Whoever gets first to the bar wins!

I won!

I won!

Mom!

Mom...

Poor Mommy...

But I was the first!

Let's go dance?

No, we can't leave her like that.

Yes, we can.

She won't even notice.

The old broad is totally whacked out.

We're going home.

Let's go.

I understood that it was better not to insist.

We've had some fun though.

The next morning

the old broad had already recovered.

Hello.

- How are you? - Fine.

Except for...

Did you see this bruise?

Did you sleep well, baby?

And you?

Pretty well.

I'm coming!

Bye.

He's so nice!

Oh my God! When I sit down...

Mr. Borne is one of our best experts.

Nothing escapes him.

I must say, I nailed a few.

I have a flair. I scent all their tricks right away.

To be fair, I always do my little research.

Take Vivien, the guy we're going to see.

I have some very bad information about him.

I have a feeling we're going to have fun.

We're going to nail him.

I'm sure we'll nail him.

We're from Mutuelle Vie. They're waiting for us.

Splendid!

Here it is!

The fire safety system!

We kept up to all regulations.

Ace-high results, indeed!

Yes?

Yes, they're here.

I'm just showing it to them. OK, right.

Damn it!

Leave it, there's nothing to find.

What do you want to know? It burns, it explodes, isn't that enough?

Mr. Vivien, we're talking millions in damage.

We must gather the information calmly.

Wait.

Yes! Don't hang up.

Well, if you must,

Siclier, our head of security, will keep you company.

Well, well...

Here's the water pipe.

All in order!

It's too dangerous to go further.

- Let's go back! - He's right.

Come on, Marc!

I'm sure, Mr. Borne still has some details to check.

After all, it's an occupational risk.

Isn't it, Mr. Borne?

I'm sure there's nothing to fear.

Are you OK?

Come on, it's fine.

Please, hurry, Mr. Borne! We must get out,

until it's too late.

That's it! I think I...

I'm going for help. Be right back!

We must get him out of there.

Wait.

Mr. Borne...

What did you see? Please, help us.

The valve... The pipe...

They're from different sections.

It's the alloy of the valve... I knew that...

We nailed them.

Help me!

Do we leave him here?

He's dead. He doesn't care now.

Besides, we have no choice.

Mr. Borne died while making bankrupt a corporate client.

Without doubt, a beautiful death for an insurance expert.

We're feeling good.

There is joy

Hello, hello, my little swallows

There is joy

In the sky above the roof

There is joy

And it's sunny in the alleys

There is joy, there's joy everywhere

All day long

My heart beats and swings

It's love

That comes with something I don't know

Bring it back to his widow. Bye!

See you tomorrow, old chap.

May I do it for you?

Did you have a nice day?

Wonderful, thank you.

Your colleagues?

They're nice.

But I'm a bit disappointed by their lack of composure.

I will crush them.

I mean, I'll outrun them without a sweat.

Very well. How are you sleeping?

I recover in 5 hours and wake up fresh as a daisy.

We'll still do a little EEG.

It means electroencephalogram.

Sit down, please.

This is Charles.

My first flashed one.

Your ancestor, in a way.

This morning I brought him from the zoo for a routine check-up.

I made him as well as you.

I hope this comparison doesn't offend you?

Not at all.

He's a lady-killer.

Since I cured him, all the girls are mad about him.

I understand them. I find him very attractive.

Your waves are perfect.

A pathway as clear as that of Charles.

Before being flashed he was fading like you.

But don't worry, now he's cured.

Like you are.

There's no need to reassure me, doctor.

I never worry anymore.

You should know it.

He's right, I forgot.

I forgot.

Are you cold?

Yes.

Please, don't.

Well then.

Sleep well, darling.

Tell me, Alain...

Why do you love me?

What a funny question.

I don't want to answer.

Come on.

Come on, tell me.

Tell me.

I guess because you're really pretty.

You're the prettiest woman I ever met.

I got used to you.

It's good, I don't want to change my habits.

What else...

Let me think.

I always want to make love to you.

I want us to have a child.

But mostly...

it's your skin.

Your skin is so tender...

Oh yes.

I think it's the main reason.

Your skin.

It's wonderful.

Turn the lights off, please.

You're pathetic!

A waste of space!

You're a wreck! That's right, a wreck!

Every week Giraud made his agents to endure passive resilience sessions.

It was me who gave him the idea.

And your wife?

What do you think she does to keep not working?

She's a whore!

She's a slut, do you hear me? A slut!

I give up. Nothing breaks him.

Your turn, Marc.

Count me out.

It's a crazy game.

No wonder, because it's his idea.

- You stuck your head in a noose. - That's enough.

If you feel tired, dear Marc, take a few days off.

See you, gentlemen.

Come with me, Alain. The boss wants to see you.

Please, gentlemen. Sit down.

The best spies are those who love you.

I give up. Nothing breaks him.

Your turn, Marc.

You're amazing.

You really are the best. Look at poor Marc Lebel.

He also tried and failed.

This guy is going down.

Do you know that the marketing people

have already invented a name for your technique?

They call it the "Durieux effect".

The effect of smiling silence.

The best way to evaluate the firmness of our agents' nerves.

Go on, my dear Alain.

Thanks to you, we'll purge our ranks and keep only the best ones.

Mom, look! A new car!

It's the dream come true!

- Hi! - How do you do?

- Beautiful as always. - You're so sweet!

Really awesome.

I told him it was madness.

I think it suits Jeanne perfectly. They have the same curbs.

Let's go.

Want to try it?

Don't you think it's too expensive for you?

No, my percentage is increasing. I'll have no troubles paying bills.

Everyone says it at first.

I've been there myself.

But then bills start mount up,

spreading out like cancer...

You know,

I think everything is much simpler.

If I can't pay my bills, they'll take my car.

But by then

I would have enjoyed it enough.

In any case,

I have no worries about my future at Mutuelle

or at any other company.

Relax, old chap.

Give yourself a break, it's Sunday!

Stop it!

Yes, yes!

Go on!

Oh, it feels so good!

Here!

Here!

Mom, stop it!

Stop it!

Come here.

I'll towel you off.

It feels good.

That was nice.

It makes you feel so good!

What's eating him?

Nothing.

I love this villa.

You'll see, soon we'll have one like that.

Alain, how about a game of ping-pong?

Look, Mom!

It's the first time I see Dad losing.

Bravo, Alain! Keep it that way!

Come on!

Fucker!

You did it on purpose!

To humiliate me in front of my kids!

What a pity that you ruined your suicide!

- Shut up! - Marc, enough!

- Let's go! - Bastard!

I'll get him!

- I'll skin this fucker alive! - Stop it!

Fucker!

Maybe it's best to leave.

Did you do it on purpose?

Of course, I did.

The games are played to win. Business is too.

Decidedly, I love your husband more and more.

- He's become a fighter. - Shut up. You understand nothing.

I had told you not to talk to me like that!

Can I have a modicum of respect?

Have you seen yourself? Showing off your cellulitic buttocks...

I have no cellulite!

Alain was right!

For just once in your life,

look at your painted face of a clown!

When will you finally accept that you're getting older?

What do you think, Alain? Frankly.

Alain will say nothing to you.

He's polite now.

Alain doesn't give a shit.

She wasn't wrong, I really didn't.

You were crying!

For five nights I watched over you.

- Don't you remember? - No. I was 10 months old.

But the blood ties!

The navel cord is real!

My little girl, I'll always be your mother.

But you were never a mother to me!

She's not kind.

You, at least, have a heart.

I can't stand her anymore.

I can't stand her anymore.

Please, not now!

Maybe we should go and live somewhere else?

I can't leave her alone.

After all, she's my mother.

I had no choice.

I had to make her happy in spite of herself.

Did you see how she talks to me?

She's going too far, don't you think?

It's no trouble.

She's just a little nervous.

It will pass.

I'm still not bad.

Yes, Edith.

The breasts are good.

Very good, Edith.

Cellulite...

I don't have any cellulite.

Not a single ounce of fat!

You're right, Edith.

What are you doing?

It exercises all the muscles from the buttocks to the toes.

Can I try?

You're welcome, Edith.

Thank you.

This is fun.

I guess that's when I got the idea.

I thought that an opportunity like this might never come again.

I had no right to miss it.

I can't...

But I still wanted to give Edith a chance.

And now

some breathing movements.

Come on,

have some rest.

Edith...

Don't you think it would be better for me and Jeanne to leave the house?

- For your sake. - Oh, no.

But how?

My baby still needs me.

No, I'll never leave her.

Never.

Well then... She had it coming.

OK. Let's go on?

Follow me.

Come on!

Good!

And now some pectoral exercises, very good for your breasts.

Let's go!

Good, Edith!

Go on!

Go on, Edith!

Just a little more effort.

Good, Edith!

Go on!

One more!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

One more.

Come on!

You're killing me!

You're killing me!

You're killing me!

Mom!

Mom?

Mom...

Clearly, I couldn't understand a thing.

This death didn't make her happy.

I should have known that.

You really conned me here.

It was you who killed Mom.

You killed her.

Well,

she died as she lived: keeping her figure.

Tell me, my darling.

What salad dressing do you prefer?

Vinaigrette or lemon?

What salad do you make?

The frisee.

Well...

Then, I think, I'd choose lemon.

Very well, my love.

Guess what I made for you.

Your favorite meal. Sauteed lamb.

I'm not hungry.

You can eat though.

Do it, please.

You must eat something.

No.

I won't eat, I don't want to.

Listen, Jeanne.

Edith died a month ago. Pull yourself together.

There's no point in crying since she's dead.

You know, it's true.

I never thought about it.

What are we going to do?

First of all,

we'll sell the house.

We'll buy another one, more modern.

A big house, full of light.

I want children.

You want children?

Fuck me then! Do it!

Go ahead.

Be patient.

I'm suffering.

You should go for a walk.

I'll be better soon.

You seem to know him well.

Yes. We used to live the same building.

You remind me of somebody, but I don't know who.

It's my hairstyle.

The same as of the girl from the Gitanes cigarettes.

And you... I got it!

You have the haircut of the guy from the Martini ad.

We're feeling good.

By any chance,

didn't you know Charles at the hospital?

Let's have a drink. We have to celebrate it.

I was feeling even better. I was no longer alone.

They'll say it's a passion.

No!

Get off with you!

And yet, you're very pretty, Sophie.

So thin! I like it.

If you had seen me before... I was huge!

My belly was disgusting, full of fat rolls.

All that because of a guy.

I thought he didn't love me.

So I ate and I ate, and was getting even fatter.

And he loved me even less.

- Have you seen him since? - No. I guess he's abroad.

But it doesn't matter. I doubt he's the man of my dreams.

I must introduce you to the rest of us.

The rest of whom?

The flashed ones. There was about 30 of us at the hospital.

We meet often.

- I didn't know that. - You were the first.

Two months ahead of us.

You couldn't know.

Do you want to meet one tonight?

Yes, of course.

This villa...

As soon as I saw it, I recognized the house of my dreams.

As you see, I finally managed to afford it.

Hi.

Armand - Alain.

As you can see,

my wife took almost everything when she left me.

Fortunately, I still have my plants,

my TV set

and

my swimming pool.

Do you want to use it?

No, thank you. I just had a shower.

Take a seat, please.

These are my videotapes.

I really cherish them.

She was kind enough not to take them.

But what can I serve you? No alcohol, of course?

Of course, not.

I have a delicious passion fruit thing.

It tastes like a candy.

OK.

He's nice, isn't he?

Very nice. And I love his house.

It suits him.

You'll see, the others are as much wonderful.

- It's delicious. - Thank you.

I have everything.

Westerns, cartoons...

And a selection of advertisements.

The ads! Cool!

That's what I like too!

"St. Marc", I know it by heart. It's so cool!

Movers with a bathtub.

Then a painting and a girl with socks.

You're good!

And then...

Then goes the servant.

And then the knight with a bedsheet.

I know it by heart!

It's awesome!

The fries!

Vegetaline is fluid.

So fluid that as soon as they come out of the bath,

your fries dry on their own,

golden and crispy...

Take a good look at that one.

What do you think of the green jumpsuit on the left?

I find it very good.

Me too. I guess it doesn't show dirt.

Glad to hear it!

I just bought the same one for my new job.

This is my favorite!

Banga? What is Banga?

In Banga there are fruits, just enough.

In Banga there is water, but not too much.

There are fruits,

There is water.

Drink it all at one gulp! At one gulp of Banga!

Banga is funny! You'll never drink too much.

It's fresh, it's fruit, it's Banga!

It's good to find people that really get you.

Alain, my love,

the meal is served.

Be a darling and tell Armand.

I will, my love.

Armand! Armand!

Do you need me?

No, the dinner is ready.

First come, first served!

I count! 1, 2, 3 - go!

I won!

Sometimes I'm a little jealous. I wish I had your chair.

I'll lend it to you, I promise.

Thank you.

Bon appetit!

Come in.

Good evening, Mr. Durieux.

Good evening, Miss Yvette.

You know, my mother wants to buy a life insurance.

Could you give me some information?

Here is an extremely detailed brochure

with all the insured events and their premiums.

Illness,

amputation,

partial or total disability,

road and railway accident etc.

Earthquake, flood...

You'll see, it's captivating.

Thank you.

Thank you very much, Mr. Durieux.

I'm sorry, Miss Yvette.

Yes, Mr. Lebel?

Why did you approach Mr. Durieux rather than me?

You can tell me the truth, I won't eat you.

Thing is...

Mr. Durieux looks so happy...

He's always smiling. It inspires confidence.

And everyone knows that he'll soon replace Mr. Giraud.

Thank you.

You see?

You're better than us.

You look messy.

That's all.

Look at your shirt.

It's dirty.

You haven't been at the hairdresser for a month.

You're beginning to look as I was looking before.

That's true.

You, on the other hand...

Old chap,

be careful.

If you don't reach your figures next month,

we'll have to part with you.

I know.

Listen,

tonight I'm invited at my friends' house.

They're nice people. Come with me.

It will wind you down.

OK, I'm in.

Thank you for coming.

Marvelous!

Just what I needed

for my TV set.

Come with me.

I have to go.

Thank you for inviting me to a moving.

Friends!

If you want to have a little pool party before we go,

the time is now!

Cannonball!

We're coming!

Look who's here!

This is Nicole, the best saleswoman I know.

Top-grade.

If you need an efficient agent,

keep her in mind.

Marc.

Want to have a swim?

I have no slips.

In the mist they're very good-looking.

Friends, friends! Time to go!

Please, hurry!

Are we coming to a masked ball?

No, he works in a cleaning service.

He's a garbageman.

Garbage must be a boon.

I'm very glad that you met Sophie

and finally joined us.

We're starting to become a real family.

We have everyone.

Engineers, workers,

businessmen,

lawyers...

We even have a cop.

And what do you do?

I'm a trader.

I sell unmatched shoes at markets.

Isn't it too difficult?

No.

I find cheesy neighborhoods.

The poorer the people,

the more likely they'll buy a VCR on a long-term credit.

This is the agent we need.

She already has the company spirit.

She knows nothing about insurance.

If she's able to peddle unpaired shoes,

she can sell anything, even a life insurance.

Isn't it cute?

And so much easier to maintain!

Just what a bachelor needs.

And it's a stone's throw from my new workplace!

I love cabbage soup and coleslaw!

I'm going to plant a lot of cabbage!

You should also plant some pineapple for desserts.

To Dr. Valois

who made us all happy.

Were you all in the hospital?

Yes.

Come on.

Eat.

Can I take your piece of bread?

You must never be desperate.

Armand was a rubbish businessman and went bankrupt.

Now he found his calling.

Look how happy he is.

For us

the future is never closed.

There is always hope!

You're not hungry?

No, I'm done.

Either you're kidding me, or you're completely nuts.

Giving the general vibe, I'd put my money on the 2nd option.

See ya, old chap.

Ladies...

What's wrong with your friend?

He's not doing well. I think he must see Dr. Valois.

I got it! He's not flashed.

He seemed a bit weird to me.

Look!

The sun is rising over the glass mountain.

Look how it shines.

Well then...

We zoom from Charles to M. Durieux

on the following text: please say it for the timing.

Camera!

Rolling.

- Clap. - "Doctor Valois", shot 1.

Joelle, over to you.

Without Charles the chimpanzee, the 1st flashed living being,

Mr. Alain Durieux would have never become

the pioneer of electronic happiness.

Cut!

Perfect!

That was perfect!

Now we can move on to the interview with Dr. Valois.

Come with me, please, Doctor.

Jackie!

Bring the camera here. The sound follows, please!

I hope you're as satisfied as he is.

I have no reason to complain.

Don't you think he's acting weird?

It's Johnny. He used to be their leader.

Charles took his place, and he's dying of jealousy.

It's normal.

He's not doing well.

If it gets worse, we'll just flash him.

"Doctor Valois", shot 21.

Mrs. Durieux, do you have something to add?

I will never be able to thank Dr. Valois enough

for the happiness that I finally found in my household.

Cut!

Very good, ma'am. It was perfect.

But...

Give us a little smile.

No, ma'am.

I'm sorry, but you need to restart.

Please, add some warmness.

If I do a naughty housewife, would you like it?

Perfect!

That's exactly what we need!

My God, Edith's plate!

- Please, let me help you. - No, thank you.

You've already done so much for me.

- Should we stop the shooting? - No.

I'll never forget the happiness that I finally found in my household.

I have to change.

Your wife seems nervous.

She lost her mother a month ago.

She's still affected.

I understand.

My condolences.

Thank you again for your hospitality.

You've been very patient.

Doctor!

No.

Doesn't matter.

Let's have dinner, darling.

This time for real.

I bet you're hungry.

Some water, darling?

Thank you, my love.

Do you want me to peel your pear, my love?

Yes, thank you.

You're so pretty like that.

Like the girl from the Piquet green beans.

You're amazing.

Thank you, my love.

Yet I thought I looked more like the Poppie sausage girl.

Indeed.

You're right, the Poppie sausage.

We're feeling good, aren't we?

Yes.

We're feeling good.

We're feeling good.

We're feeling good.

We're feeling good! We're feeling good!

We're feeling good!

We're feeling good!

We're feeling good!

We're feeling good!

We're feeling good!

We're feeling good!

I had to stop her.

She was going to hurt her throat.

We're feeling good! We're feeling good!

I'm sorry, darling.

Hello.

Yes.

Fine, Mr. Giraud.

I understand.

Yes, I'm coming.

Here is our new head of department!

At the wheel of his powerful car!

Hi, Alain!

Glad to see you!

First Jeanne, now Marc... What's wrong with all of them tonight?

We need to stop this.

He threatens to jump, and he can do it.

What a publicity stunt for us! Especially after your suicide.

Don't worry, I'll fix it.

Here goes the wonderful Triumph-Adler!

No, not the typewriter.

With memory and autocorrection!

In honor of our friend Alain!

One...

Two...

Three!

No. It's dead.

You're insured against property damage.

I am.

But not if it is caused by an employee.

You're forgetting clause 55b of article 3ter:

"Cases of a manifest insanity".

Hey, Alain!

Want to give me a hand?

I'm coming!

See what I mean?

- Who's there? - It's me.

Don't try to set a trap.

Or I'll shoot.

OK.

You see?

I'm good at cleaning too.

It's better that way, isn't it?

Doesn't matter.

Have a cigar?

No, thank you.

That's right, I forgot. You quit drinking and smoking.

Our Alain is perfect.

As good as new.

What an ugly fucking thing.

Come on.

Help me.

Come on, one more little push!

What silence! What peace!

In a few minutes Father Marc is going to...

And then... nothing.

Listen, old chap.

You should see Dr. Valois.

Oh yeah.

To become one of your kind?

Never! I'd rather kill myself!

But I don't want to mess it up.

I need your advice, by the way.

Come here.

You see?

If I jump from here, I might get hooked on a letter.

See?

They will call it plagiary.

That would be very upsetting.

What do you think?

Look here.

If you jump from there,

having gathered a good momentum,

there will be no risk. It will work.

But aren't you afraid that I'll throw you into the void?

You don't hate me that much.

It's true.

I can't even hate you.

You don't hate the machine.

No more melting.

From there?

Goodbye, old chap. Say hi to Jeanne.

Marc.

I think you make a mistake.

I know a way much more effective.

In every sense.

Come here.

It can wait a few minutes.

I know that you have a life insurance

and that Christine and the kids will have the money.

Even in the case of suicide, because you signed more than 2 years ago.

But

you miscalculate.

Just imagine...

Imagine that you die in a car accident.

In case of a car accident

the payment immediately triples!

Your widow and kids will lack nothing

for the rest of their lives.

They will have a hard time,

for sure.

But for them

it will never be as dreadful as the suicide.

Morally, they...

Bravo, Alain.

You're the best.

The Rolls-Royce among the salespeople.

That's right.

You managed to sell me my own death.

Not another word. I'm convinced.

I'm very glad to hear it.

Let's tell them the good news!

It suits you that way, isn't it?

And the company too. I'll die without much fuss.

One, two.

I'd love to finally see this famous Apollo's belt.

Today I'll make 40.

1...

- 2... - Alain!

It's awful! Christine just called.

- Marc died in a car crash this night. - 4.

Perfect.

Everything turned out just as I had hoped.

7...

Marc had an accident, he died! Do you hear me?

Yes.

9...

I'm not surprised.

- 10. - He wasn't functioning well lately.

11.

- Fortunately... - 12.

...he had good insurance.

- 13. - Christine and the kids will lack nothing.

14.

You should do these exercises too.

- Very good for your abdomen. 15. - It can't be.

It can't be!

It can't be!

16.

17.

Hello, doctor.

I just wanted to call you about Jeanne.

She isn't functioning well, isn't she?

Do you hear him?

He talks as if I were a machine!

But it's him!

It's him!

Can you see now? She is not well at all.

Shut up, both of you!

Take two pills

three times a day.

You'll be better.

You must treat him before it's too late.

Maybe it would be better to put her in the hospital?

Please, doctor!

This is your fault!

Come with me.

It's terrible what happened to your friend Marc Lebel.

It seems that your wife liked him very much.

Yes.

She also loved her mother, in her own way.

But they're both gone, there's no point in crying for them.

I assure you, flashing Jeanne would be the best solution.

I'll think about it.

Boss was looking for you. He wants to see you right now.

OK. I'm coming.

Please, take care of one of my clients.

Let him talk and say no.

I know.

I'm getting used to it.

In a few minutes Father Marc is going to...

And then... nothing.

Listen, old chap.

You should see Dr. Valois.

I warned you.

The best spies

are those who love you.

Besides the video security system,

I have a tape recorder permanently switched on.

You didn't think of that.

Do you want me to go on?

Yes. The sound quality is exceptional.

Oh yeah.

To become one of your kind?

Never! I'd rather kill myself!

But I don't want to mess it up.

I need your advice, by the way.

You must tell me the brand of the amps, I'm very interested.

If I jump from here, I might get hooked on a letter.

See?

Really.

They will call it plagiary.

That would be very upsetting.

What do you think?

Look here.

If you jump from there, having gathered a good momentum...

My word, there are 25 of them walking around in the wild!

What should I do?

What should I do?

In case of a car accident

the payment immediately triples!

Durieux,

I can prove that you were trying to defraud the company.

For a mere trifle of 3 million francs.

Oh yeah.

It is a trifle to pay for making a publicity stunt out of an awkward death.

Imagine a film

about the funeral of Marc Lebel.

Showing at his side

the director and the execs of the company,

his beautiful children, in their sunny villa...

What? The man lost his life, and you...

Please, doctor, we're talking business.

Go on, Alain.

To think that I worked for the bastards like you!

Stop it! Doctor, Mr. Rousseau!

Please.

That's interesting, what you were telling me. We'll discuss it later.

In the meantime, get him off of me.

He's starting to wear me out.

Bitch! Bitch!

I can't even smash her face!

- How did it go? - Very good.

Hello, doctor.

It's nice of you to come and see us.

You seem tired.

Do you want to sit down?

Don't be so upset.

Can we help you?

Would you give me a hand?

Of course. After everything you've done for us...

In that case...

I would like to get everyone I have flashed

together at the hospital as soon as you can.

I know that you meet often.

I'll call Sophie.

Three of us, we'll get the whole gang in 2 hours.

I loved the color of these walls:

crushed strawberry.

They gathered in the hospital playroom.

Hello, doctor.

Thank you, my friends.

Thank you for having responded so quickly to my call.

I have a problem.

And I want you to help me solving it.

We'll do our best.

You know it, doctor.

For some time now I have been alerted by reaction of your friends and relatives.

It's true, we've discussed it.

People tend to behave strangely in our presence.

I thought it over and found only one way

to remedy this situation.

You must be placed under supervision in this hospital.

In short, what you are suggesting very nicely,

is to rewind us because we healed too well.

Something like that.

It'll be like a big vacation spent together, so cool!

Do you see how easy everything is with us?

Let me go.

It's our turn.

Come on, doctor.

You can't say no to a pretty girl.

Enough!

Stop it right now!

I lied to you.

To all of you.

I have to leave you for an hour. It's an emergency.

Please, try to wait for me. It's not for long.

He cured us, but he's a loser like them all.

Hello. Grange speaking.

Is there any specific news from the EMS?

Yes?

What a fight!

Get out of here!

This is all your fault.

I knew it.

You and your lousy experiments!

Do what you want with people, but never touch monkeys!

I love it.

Stop it! Damn it!

Gentlemen! Please, stop!

I told you to warn me at the slightest alarm!

I wasn't worried: we could always flash them!

You understood nothing! You ruined the experiment!

There's nothing I can do!

Get out of here, you stupid bitch!

Did you see how he talks to me?

He has no heart!

Never touch my monkeys! Do you hear me?

Should I ask them to join you at the hospital?

No, thank you. Not today.

- Aren't you coming with us? - No.

I'd like to know what he's up to.

Oh, you're here too?

How nice of you

to keep me company.

Scotch.

Make it double.

I guess you need it, doctor.

And for me

a Diabolo grenadine.

You are a very pleasant monster.

But still a monster.

Thank you.

Feeling...

You see, Alain,

I think the only thing to do would be to kill all of you.

But I'm a doctor.

Where would we go if I killed all the patients I failed...

You don't give a shit.

You don't even listen to me.

This is all my problem, right?

Look.

It's us on TV.

You're very photogenic.

I don't care.

I don't care about so many things now.

I have now enough data to be certain

that our treatment is effective.

I'll have to make a denial as soon as possible.

Some colleagues will be happy.

I forgot what it was to leave a normal life.

I was afraid of my husband.

He became a stranger to me.

I will never be able to thank Dr. Valois enough...

She really is the prettiest woman I ever met.

It's true.

She's very beautiful.

And her skin...

If you caressed her skin...

It's soft...

Doctor...

Can I have your autograph?

You're on TV!

I'm an anxious person.

And I'm very interested in your method.

Every time I go to work

I have like a bar in my chest.

What do you think of that?

Can you sign, please?

Thank you. Here.

Are you really always happy?

Yes.

Even in traffic jams?

Well, tell me how.

I'm a taxi driver. When you're stuck there, inhaling gas fumes...

It was me who served you scotch.

Can you sign here, please?

Thank you.

Tell me, doctor, why am I always sad at the end of the day?

Mr. Durieux, what is it like to be always happy?

She's the only woman I ever loved!

She left me. I can't stand it anymore!

I'm bored! I hate myself!

I want to be happy!

Please, do something!

I can't stand these motorbikes at night!

Doctor, my husband left me. Please, help!

Doctor, I have too much on my plate.

The phone, the telex, the answering machine...

I love countryside,

but I have swollen feet, they get red and I can't walk.

I lost my appetite.

My boss makes me work even in my lunch hours!

An appointment, please!

Just one appointment!

Doctor is tired!

He will see you all tomorrow at the hospital!

We want to be happy!

Yes!

You will be happy too!

Thank you for getting me out of there.

Where do you want me to drive you?

At my place.

I live at 87 West Boulevard.

Near the park.

What a triumph!

Have you seen them?

It's a disaster.

Yes.

This is the home of the man

who wanted to cure the humanity of its anxiety.

A miserable loner who never had time to get his life in order.

- Do you know Francis Bacon? - Yes.

I used to have the same one.

I don't like it anymore.

You're right.

Excuse me, I must clean up before I go to heaven.

Kafka...

Proust...

Dostoevsky...

Miller... Too gloomy!

Too much of anxiety! It's all garbage!

The Bible...

What to do with it?

"Vanity of vanities, says the preacher.

Vanity of vanities, all is vanity!

What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?

A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever".

But it's so grim...

Garbage! The Bible is garbage!

Bach, Beethoven!

Wagner, Verdi, Stravinsky!

Hey, presto!

Well, that's the music

that you should like.

You know, doctor,

I can convince the others to be locked up at the hospital.

We're feeling good anywhere.

Thank you, thank you.

I'm very touched, but...

It's too late.

Here will be the perfect angle, with the flashing machine.

Come closer.

You only have to press the button.

- Are you ready? - I'm ready, doctor.

Let's go then!

Today I've decided to flash myself.

Because I have no choice.

Doctor!

I'm so happy! You'll finally join us!

Thank you, Alain, but please, restart.

Today I've decided to flash myself

because I have no choice.

It's like a suicide, but in a cowardly manner.

People will watch me on this screen

and they will laugh at me.

They won't understand why I wanted to ban

this wonderful method of my own invention.

People will fight,

they will forget themselves...

Do you hear me?

I was out of my mind!

That must be it, the anxiety.

I don't even remember what it was like.

Jeanne, do you remember?

No.

Fortunately.

This is all so far away...

I'm scared.

I don't want to be the last man preaching in the desert.

You were so boring!

Hurry up, my love. It begins in an hour.

I've almost finished. The doctor just has been flashed.

See you later.

You're not going?

I have work early in the morning.

I'd better have a nap.

I'll watch you on TV. It's even better.

When we left the hospital early in the morning,

Pierre was radiating joy.

He became another man.

God, I'm feeling good!

To think that I could have missed it!

Now you see?

We told you many times.

Now, doctor,

we must take care of Jeanne.

That will be quite a surprise.

You'll see, once put right,

my wife is top-grade.

Yes.

Is her skin really so soft?

I've never seen anything like it.

You make me drool.

- Can we talk as friends? - Of course.

- Do you like my wife? - I very much do.

You can always test her.

After curing her, of course.

Thank you very much.

I hope she's there.

Jeanne!

Jeanne!

Guess who I brought with me!

Hello, Jeanne.

Hello, doctor.

Call me Pierre.

Do you want coffee?

Yes, thank you.

Good idea.

I'll be back in a minute.

Maybe the time is now.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing.

We're feeling good.

Aren't we, Alain?

We are.

Oh no!

No!

No!

Jeanne...

No.

Darling...

No!

It's for your own good.

Doctor will cure you.

- We'll take you to the hospital. - I don't want to be happy.

No!

Jeanne...

Don't come closer.

Don't come closer.

Don't come closer!

My love...

Are you hurt?

No.

Not much.

I'll be alright.

Pierre...

Call an ambulance.

We need to be taken care of.

You see that I was right, Pierre?

Yes, she's wonderful.

How do you feel?

I'm all right.

My legs went rubbery.

You're cured, Alain.

But your legs will remain paralyzed.

Pierre ordered an electronic wheelchair for you.

Yes, the best of its kind.

The Formula 1 of chairs.

You mean, both legs?

That means at least 70% disability.

With such a premium, darling,

and with the pension of my accident insurance

we can live happily ever after.

It's wonderful, my love!

You'll be always at home.

And you'll be only mine.

They're all coming to get flashed.

The social security agreed to reimburse.

So many people will never bother us with imaginary diseases.

By virtue of the powers vested in me

and in the name of the President

I present to you, Pr. Valois,

the medal of the Officer of the Legion of Honour.

Our government is also willing to express its gratitude

to the man without whom nothing of this would have happened,

who was, in a way, the first explorer

of a new happiness.

By the name of the President of the Republic

I present to you, Alain Durieux,

the medal of the National Order of Merit.

Mr. Mayor,

ladies and gentlemen,

thank you again.

But I wouldn't want this ceremony to end

without sharing with you a new piece of information which, I think,

will prolong our joy.

I will ask Dr. Joelle Mallet to walk up to me.

You all recognize, of course, our friend Charles.

Well, Charles has a child now.

Frederic.

He is 6 months old.

Since Frederic was born,

Dr. Mallet and I subjected him to numerous tests and examinations.

Today we can announce with certainty

that the flashing can be transmitted genetically.

That means that all the flashed people...

And, fortunately, there are more of them every day...

will transmit to their descendants this perfect mental balance

that our therapy gave to them.

Thus Frederic illustrates

the advent of a new humanity

that will live forever in natural happiness.

Did you see how the color of your new suit

matches the tissue of your chair?

I chose it on purpose.

Thank you, darling.

Should I keep the light on?

No, my love.

Tonight, I'd like you to turn it off.

We're feeling good.

Aren't we?

Yes.

Like animals.

This film is dedicated to Patrick Dewaere