All language subtitles for Just Shoot Me s07e22 Evaluate This!

Okay, people, conference table.

Just take a minute.

Hey, Jeff, check it out. My 20 -year
quest to complete my Planet of the Apes

collection is over.

No, I don't get that movie. Those female
apes, are they supposed to be sexy or

something? I don't think so.

Are you sure?

We gotta get you a woman.

Couple of quick things.

It's fashion week.

Lena, I'm sure you're looking forward to
all the big parties.

I resent that implication.

You flatline at a couple of runway shows
and suddenly you're a party animal.

Next item.

Vicki had an interesting idea. You're
all going to evaluate me so that I can

a better boss.

Oh, yeah. I read a great article about
this in Business Week.

All the captains of industry are doing
it. Kirk, kangaroo, crunch.

Although technically crunch is a cap.

I want you to be brutally honest.

Don't worry, because the evaluations are
anonymous.

And one more thing, show of hands, has
anyone here ever been even the

slightest bit turned on by a movie ape?

A little bit.

Well, I've read your evaluations and
you've made it quite clear where I need

improve.

Elliot, uh... They were supposed to be
anonymous, but you signed yours. Well,

Jack, some people feel the need to hide
under the blanket of anonymity, but I,

for one, am not afraid to stand by my
words.

So you really think I'm a perfectionist
who works too hard because I care too

much? Damn it, Jack, I do.

And Maya feels that I'm a saint who
smothers his employees with too much

love.

Sorry. Sounds a lot harsher when it's
read aloud.

Forgive me, Jack. I was brutal.

My rugged good looks distract you from
your job.

It's like staring at the sun.

Point taken. No more rugby shirts on
casual Fridays.

And Dennis, you just wrote, Dude, you
rock.

a minute. Did everyone sign this?

Uh, no, not everyone.

Uh, one anonymous person thinks I can be
controlling and manipulative, which

can stifle creativity.

Who do you think wrote that?

Vicki?

I thought he wanted honesty. Now,
honesty is one of those things people

they want, but don't.

Like education or children.

Okay, well, I better go if you want to
make the Versace show.

Oh, hey, it's a beautiful day. You want
to walk? Oh, I hate walking. It's so

pedestrian.

Nina, it'll only take like ten minutes.

God gave us feet for three reasons. To
be massaged, pedicured, and tied to the

other end of the bed.

You're walking. It'll be good for you.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to distract you.

I just thought that street juggler was
amazing.

A little tip?

Never yell, look, he's got six balls, to
a woman who's about to step off a curb.

I feel completely responsible.

Maybe you should let him stay for a few
days, because with Simon on tour, you're

going to need some help.

Well, true, with Irma gone, I could use
an extra hand.

Oh, you lost your housekeeper?

Well, there was a little theft problem.
She caught me going through her purse.

So, how can I help? Well, actually, I
did jot down a few things you could do.

Nina, I'm not going to take the GED for
you.

Well, at the very least, you have to go
to the Soho Grand and go to that party

for Stella McCartney's spring line.

I don't know. I'm no fun at those
things. Look, you don't have to be the

the party. You don't have to be
entertaining or charming or remotely

interesting. Just be yourself.

Hello, Vicki.

Hello, Jack.

Oh, excuse me. By saying hello, I didn't
mean to manipulate you into saying

hello back.

I mean, maybe you wanted to say hey or
top of the morning or hot chowder. Ouch!

Don't let me start with your creativity.

Hey, Jack.

Got all the lint off your sweater.

Well, put it back.

Listen, slutty McFurley sleeves.

You poked a bear. Now go give him some
honey.

And save a little bit for me.

Can I come in?

Sure.

Unless you find me too pushy and
bloated.

I never said bloated. It was implied.

Oh, come on, Jack.

You're never going to be a better boss
if everyone's afraid to be honest with

you. I don't know.

Beer's always been a big winner for me.

These are the people that are closest to
you. Don't you want to know what they

really think?

I guess so, but I don't think they're
lying as much as you think they are.

Jack, I put all the lint back on your
sweater. You're right, it looks much

better now.

Good call.

Hey there.

Where the hell have you been?

I thought you were only going to that
party for an hour.

Well, I was.

But then I took your advice, and guess
what? I had a really great time. I mean,

a really great time!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure you had a
Maya great time.

Well, actually, it was a Nina great
time.

I was dancing and drinking like a fish.
Oh, two daiquiris?

No, I couldn't finish the second one,
but I did eat the pineapple.

And then I started doing adorable things
with this tiny sword.

Hi -ya, hi -ya, hi -ya, hi -ya. Okay,
just put the tiny sword away. I get it.

You had a great time.

Now, let's focus on me.

Hello?

Stella!

Hi. Oh, listen, I'm so sorry. I couldn't
make your party. I know you were

counting on me.

Who?

Yeah, she's right here.

Stella, hi.

No way.

No way.

No way.

I am so there.

I've been invited to the after party.
They are in a limo downstairs waiting

me.

You're going out already? Yeah, I'll be
smoothing.

And bruises. The men are be perusing.
Wait, wait, wait. You just got home. I

mean, we haven't even had a chance.

In

the

past, I know you've been afraid to tell
me the truth, but that ends now. Pull no

punches. How am I as a boss?

All right.

You can be gruff.

That's right, I can.

You could be self -centered. Accentured.
Excellent.

Dismissive. A little immature.

You belittle me.

Thank you. I try to make you happy, but
you give me nothing. You crush my

spirit.

All right, Sally, take a might off.

Dennis?

What? You're great.

Oh, come on, Dennis.

You of all people should have more
complaints than anybody.

And yet I'm complaint -free.

You're going to tell me you don't find
my constant demands annoying?

No. No.

Tell me I'm annoying.

Jack, this is... Tell me what you really
think or Dr.

Zayas gets it.

Please don't hurt my monkey.

Twist.

Twist. No.

All right, you're a selfish, spoiled
bastard.

Excellent. Let it out.

For the past ten years, you've been
treating me like garbage.

Dennis, sleep in my car so no one steals
my CD player. Dennis, break into my

house to see if the guard dogs are
alert.

Okay, this has been constructed.

Who gets strip -searched by customs when
you smuggle in your Cuban cigars?

Right? Who gets behind the wheel when
you sideswipe someone in your Range

after three vodka gimlets? Huh? I won't
drive again until I'm 60.

Okie dokie. Yeah, you're a pampered,
lazy, spoiled son of a bitch who won't

a fat finger to help anyone. And I hate
your vest.

Yeah.

Think Jack's still mad?

It doesn't matter.

You laid him out and he deserved it. You
started the revolution, baby. Power to

the people.

Hey, big guy.

You're great, Erica. It really shows off
the vest.

Dennis?

Jack, your bagel's almost ready. That's
okay.

I toasted my own.

Actually, I just came over for some
coffee.

I'll get it. No.

I'll get it.

You see, I realize that I have to be
less demanding of you and more self

-reliant. Can I get you a cup of coffee?

There you go.

Jack, I am really impressed.

Finch was straight with you and you were
trying to change.

Actually, I'm trying to drive him
insane.

What are you talking about?

Dennis lives for this job.

I'm going to remind him of that. So I'll
see you later. I'm going to go pick up

my own dry cleaning.

I've

got

to go. I'm going to be late for the
Armani dinner.

Ooh, out two nights in a row. Hello, is
there a party girl in the room?

Check it.

I don't think you should go.

Why? Because they're setting you up. Oh,
Maya, these people are vicious.

They'll bring you to their party,
they'll fix you up with a handsome guy,

then, when you least expect it, they'll
dump a bucket of pig blood on your head.

That's the plot of Carrie.

Why are you doing this? Why are you
trying to ruin this for me?

Because...

Oh, my God, you're jealous.

Oh, Polly.

You are.

For years, you've been making fun of my
lame social life, and I'm finally out

there in the spotlight, and you can't
take it.

Now you're not only boring, you're
delusional. And late for a party. Excuse

I've got to go.

You're not walking out on me.

it. Save your breath and don't wait up.

Hello,

old friend.

Oh, damn it, it's a tic -tac.

Hey, anything I can do for you, Jack?

handle everything myself.

You know what? You're missing a button
there. Let me take it.

I got it. I got it. Jack, let me take
it.

You got it.

Don't do it myself.

That's the way I got my own car washed
and I visited my own mother.

Meemaw?

To give her a sponge bath? No gloves.

It is such Such a joy to do things for
myself.

Come on, Jack. Obviously Finch hurt your
feelings. So stop playing with his head

and talk to him. No need. I've broken
him down. Now I'll offer him a menial

and he'll jump for joy.

This never happened.

Jack's being so thoughtful and
considerate.

What do you think he's doing?

He's punishing me.

He's taking away the very thing I live
for, serving him.

He's an evil genius, like Dr.

Frankenstein or Kitty Quick.

And what are you going to do? Nothing.

I'm going to let Jack take care of
himself until he begs me for help.

Wait till Meemaw comes back all sweaty
from that jazzercise.

Hey, I'm taking off for the day.

Great. I'm just going to stay here and
clean off all these old golf shoes.

Unless you'd care to help me.

They've got the big divots and the
clumps like you like.

Oh.

No, I'm good. I might even be pressing
my own pants.

The linen ones with the pleats?

Maybe.

I thought you were going to a basketball
game tonight.

Well, I was, but now I'm going to have
to stay here doing all this work for

myself. Got any suggestions?

Yeah.

I'll go to the basketball game.

Fine.

I hope I don't mess up the pleats, or
worse.

Singe the fabric.

Well, I hope the athletic men don't do
special things with the ball that you'll

regret missing.

Couldn't move. Couldn't reach my
medication.

I think I blacked out.

Oh, I feel terrible. I never would have
left you if I'd known... Wait a minute.

If you've been there the whole night,
why is there fresh ice in that glass?

Oh, kiss my ass, Nancy Drew.

What is wrong with you?

I came back here because I felt guilty
about our fight and then you pulled

To hell with it. I'm out of here.

Well, fine. You know what? Good
riddance.

Don't go. I'm lonely.

What?

I said I'm bony.

Wonderfully bony.

I specifically heard lonely.

Fine, fine. Okay.

Simon's out of town and I'm stuck here.

Well, I'd just like to not be the only
person here.

But, Nina, you have a million friends.

Sure, I know a million people I can go
out with, but they're not the kind of

people I'd want to stay in with.

Oh, my God.

I'm your best friend.

No.

It's just that you're the only person I
can trust to heat up my soup.

Like a best friend. Will you stop saying
that? It's just, you know, Vinny's

gone, and, well, you and I have known
each other for a very long time, and

there's just a certain level of comfort
that comes with... With being a best

friend.

I'm coming in for a hug. No, no, okay,
enough.

Okay, best friend.

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to put on my jewel CD, make us
a pot of cinnamon hot cocoa, and we'll

stay up all night pulling apart that
puzzle called men.

That sounds great.

Cocoa's in the pantry.

You know what's great?

You always come off so glib and shallow.

But now I know deep down you're just as
scared and vulnerable as the rest of us.

You don't have to be scared anymore.

You've got me.

Hey, do you have a Ouija board?

How was your night?

Great.

I ironed three pairs of pants.

a shirt and $500.

How was the game?

Great. Great. A tall guy shot the ball
from super far and they gave him an

point.

Who are you kidding? You can't even name
one basketball player.

You can't name one brand of iron.

Maypool. Tully Johnson.

World Tag.

Sammy Heitberg. Oh, stop.

This is ridiculous and you've completely
misappointed this exercise and we're

going to fix it right now.

This is crazy.

You're pretending you like ironing and
you're pretending you don't care about

him. You guys have to stop playing games
and really talk to each other.

Sunspot. Dribbles McPhee.

You guys have a chance to really
connect, to really get to know each

else go back to living in a pathetic
world of denial. Come on. What do you

Dennis?

Yes?

I want a cup of coffee. I'm on it.

You guys are just going to pretend like
nothing ever happened. But, Jack, I

thought that you were... That you
were... What?

You thought I was what?

A brilliant man who looked great in a
vest.

I appreciate your honesty.

Jack, Meemaw, there's a situation.

May I?

Take the gloves.