Original subtitles

Okay, what's next?

We just have to approve the cover shot and we're done.

Elliot. Sir?

Francesca, what do you think?

Holy cow, looks like she gained a couple pounds. Yeah, more than a couple,

three.

Somebody take a pillow and smother me. Why don't we use your boobs?

Woo -hoo!

I didn't even plan that. I gave the old dupes the doodle. I would knock over

here going... Okay,

I think we're done here.

Okay, just one more thing real quick.

I won't be here after tomorrow.

Oh, wait, whoa.

You didn't talk about going on vacation.

It's not a vacation, Dennis.

After tomorrow, I won't be here for good. I'm retiring.

You're what?

I'm retiring.

Hello? Oh, Tom, yeah, I think there's something wrong with the boat.

Yeah, if you could do... What the hell was that?

I can't believe it.

Oh, God.

So out of the blue, what do you think brought this on?

Wait. I know.

Jack is having sexual problems.

Think about it. Men always freak out and quit their jobs whenever their Peter

stops piping.

They do not.

I mean, I assume they don't.

I mean, hey, hey, how would I know?

Dad. Hey, Pumpkin, what's up?

I'm retiring tomorrow?

That's all you're gonna say?

Yeah, what's the big deal? I have a boat that's just sitting there, and it's

time, that's all.

This is how you're doing it? Announcing it one day, leaving the next? No time to

let it sink in? No nothing?

Exactly. I want my last day to be just like any other day.

Jack, what's this all about? Look, I'd love to stay and talk, but I'm late. I

gotta meet this guy.

I'm fixing a leak in my dinghy. See, I told you.

Dad, we have some unfinished business here.

That's right.

You're the new editor.

What? No!

I mean, that's incredibly flattering, but... Whoa, actually, this is huge.

Really, me?

That's right.

Congratulations, pumpkin.

And that snotty genie Warshack said in high school I'd never make it on my own.

You showed her a pumpkin.

Ow! My head!

Hey, what are you doing?

Jack.

You can't stop crying.

I just don't want anyone to see me like this.

You want to talk about it?

I'm just lying here thinking that I'm the only one in my entire family who

amounted to anything.

Only one reason why.

Your father.

I think your talent had a little something to do with that.

Do you have any idea what it's like trying to make rent selling your photos

the street?

Thousands of people walk by every day.

Most of them just ignore you. Some of them take a quick look, give you a

nod. Jack stops, and he changes my life.

How do you thank a guy for something like that?

I don't know.

What's it going to be like around here when he's gone?

I have no idea.

You ever get horny when you're sad?

No.

Yeah, me neither.

Oh, my bunny, isn't it?

Sure is.

Yeah. I mean, here, I admire the feminist things you say, yet my

keep me from expressing that to you.

I mean, all that gunk I said earlier about your boobs, I didn't mean it.

I mean, sure, they're big.

I mean, they are huge. I mean, I get calls like, do you work with that girl?

know.

But that's just as a fellow feminist, I'm telling you. Mm -hmm.

Vince, if you're trying to suck up to me because I'm taking over, it's not quite

working.

Of course it's not working.

Took me years to learn how to suck up to Jack.

Sure, I'll prance around in your new underpants to break them in, but we'll

be the same.

Okay, first of all, I will never, ever ask you to do that.

That's the beauty of Jack.

He never had to ask.

Look, there's going to be a period of transition, but everything's going to be

okay.

Jack and I, he was like a father to me.

Yeah, you wouldn't understand.

Well, you're taking it pretty hard, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Now, you might think this is sappy and old -fashioned, but you know where I met

your dad?

At an orgy.

I don't want to hear this. No, no, no, I know what you're thinking, but it's

really, it's a sweet story.

It was 1971.

Oil -covered bodies were everywhere. You couldn't tell where one person ended

and the next one began.

Oh, God.

And there was Jack.

High on something, trying to make love to this gorgeous model, but laughing

hysterically because he couldn't get his pants off over his shoes.

This is your sweet story?

The sweet part is, he finally gave up, pulled his pants back on, And made it

home in time to be there for the last few minutes of your birthday.

Hey, Ma.

I just heard. Is it true?

I'm afraid so, Kevin.

Oh, man, that stinks.

I like your dad.

He was always so nice to me.

Hey, here's a funny story.

I once ran into your dad in the park.

Oh, yeah? What happened?

I just said, I ran into him in the park.

Well, with her in charge, this place is going to go down the tubes.

Hey, Dennis, that's the last time I went to the bathroom as the boss.

Oh, I'll call the Smithsonian.

Sarcasm I won't miss so much.

Silver foxes in the hole. Silver foxes in the hole. Go, go, go.

Okay, people, move, move, move.

Finch, why is there a girl in her underwear?

Oh, yeah, we hired her. She's going to be jumping out of a giant cake.

Yeah, I don't see a giant cake.

It's at my apartment.

Ready?

She can't wait to take the reins. I love it.

Life of leisure, here I come.

You know, I gotta say, it's amazing how you're handling this.

Maya, it's all a matter of perspective.

Surprise!

Son of a bitch.

Well, there's an awkward moment.

Vince, if this is some sort of practical joke, I will literally rip your head

off!

Dad,

open up.

Vince, I think I should go in there. What should I do?

Well... What?

I'm a bit torn.

On one hand, I've been sworn to secrecy. On the other hand... it's not like

he'll need it anymore.

Need what?

There's a secret passageway out.

What?

Why would he need that?

For the ex -wives. One of them comes by, I press the secret button, it sends

them the old bat signal.

Well, open it up.

All right, come on.

Oh, my God, that's amazing. That is incredible.

Well, it doesn't automatically switch your clothes for a superhero outfit, but

it's all right.

I can't believe this is here.

What were you thinking? If I wanted that surprise party, I would have told

Dennis to throw me one.

What were we supposed to do? Just let you walk out of here after 35 years?

That's what I asked for, isn't it? Everybody says that, but that's not what

really want.

Those people out there want to say goodbye to you. Don't you care about

Of course I do.

You think I don't love this place? You think I don't love those people?

Maya, this is killing me.

Come on, go out there and tell them that.

Forget it. If I walk out there and see all those faces looking at me, I'm going

to lose it. And that's not how I want to be remembered.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to go. Hey, this is not about you.

These people, if you do not say goodbye to them, they are going to be

devastated. Now, suck it up and get out there.

I can't.

Dennis, it's fine. I'm leaving. It doesn't matter what they know.

Even the tushy tuck?

Okay, that could have stayed between us.

All right, well, look, everyone's out here. Let's go. Let's hit the party.

on. Sorry, can't.

Gotta go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wow! This is amazing!

Yeah, like this is the first time today you've crawled out of a bar? Come on.

Nina, would you excuse me? I gotta go.

Jack, the party!

It's not going to be a party.

Well, tell that to the brownie I ate 45 minutes ago.

I'm sorry, but this is how it's got to be.

Oh, come on!

Awesome.

Oh, stop.

Push, Mrs. DeMauro, push!

Would you people please just let me get out of here? Okay, fine, fine, fine,

fine. But first, you will indulge me in a little toast.

I'd really rather you didn't. Yeah, well, that's tough, because technically

in charge now.

To my father, Jack Callow.

When I first showed up here, I wasn't a very big fan of this magazine, and to be

perfectly honest, I wasn't a very big fan of my dad.

Hear, hear!

But since then, I've gotten to know you for who you really are. A warm, loving,

generous, brilliant, terribly flawed man.

Seven years ago, you asked me to help you become a better father to Hannah.

And in typical Jack Gallo fashion, you pulled a fast one.

While I wasn't looking, you became a real father to me.

I think I'm going to cry.

Yeah, there's a shocker.

Can I say something?

I really wish you wouldn't.

Jack Gallagher.

The greatest man I've ever... Jack Gallagher, great.

I can't do it.

Jack, if I may.

When I needed a job, you were there.

When I needed a friend, you were there.

When I needed a kidney, you were there.

Yeah, I think that was my kidney.

No, but Jack made you do it, and that's what's so sweet.

Look, I've never been a woman of words, but I think I do know how to say

goodbye.

Would

you

like your gum back?

You keep it.

Okay.

I'd like to say something now.

Jeff.

I can't. Somebody else go.

How about I go? No, no, no.

Listen, since Elliot's such a blubbering fool, I'll go.

Jack, what can I say? You're the man, so I laid down some rhymes.

Oh, you wrote him a poem?

That is so sweet. It's not a poem. It's a hardcore Def Jam street rap, baby.

I don't have the beats down.

You know, so you got to picture it with the chains and the bling bling and my

escalator.

There's this bro gallo. Is he shallow? No, he just got to go. Where?

I don't know.

All of a sudden, he's on solo.

Again, there's the boof boof and the bitches and the glocks.

So stay a while, make me smile like Gomer Pyle.

I look up to you like the cops at King Kong.

Chinese at ping pong.

Slap it on a depping ball.

Thank you, Dennis.

I'm sure that means a lot.

Okay, I'm ready now. I'm ready.

Webster's defines a man... Can't do it.

Well, I guess that's all we wanted to say. I hope it wasn't too much.

Wait.

I didn't want to do this. I've never been good at goodbyes.

I'm a kind of, hey, how you doing kind of guy.

Screw it, here goes.

Elliot. Oh, boy.

I've loved watching you turn into the artist you are today.

The day I met you, man, what a thrill.

It was like spotting a cheap painting in a garage sale, knowing it was a

Rembrandt.

Jay, it's for the joy you break all ghosts.

Beautiful Nina.

It's been so long for us, hasn't it?

And yet, look at you. You put 20 -year -olds to shame.

And you know what I'll always love most about you?

My ass? Most people think it's my ass.

You refuse to get old.

And not in some tacky, faithless, collagen way.

It's in here.

And it's in here.

And if life's a party, and I like to think it is, you're the sparkle in the

mirror ball.

And the rum and the punch.

Oh, Jeff.

Dennis,

Dennis, Dennis.

Nobody thought we'd get along, remember?

Two different worlds and all that.

But what nobody knew is that under that smart -ass exterior,

is a sweetheart waiting to get out.

Dennis, I know how much you look up to me, and I just want you to know

how good that makes me feel.

I think of you as a son.

You got some dry cleaning that needs to be picked up, too.

I wouldn't even know how. I could do it if you wanted.

Well,

Kim, it's all yours.

This is too weird.

Yeah.

I bet you never imagined this when you walked in here seven years ago.

That's for sure.

But I did.

I knew right away.

Because you're smart.

And you're tough.

And as much as you fight it, you're a gallo.

I'm kind of like a gallo, right, Jack?

Right.

I love you, Dad.

I love you, Pumpkin.

I love you guys.

Well,

I guess we better get out there.

We made a great team, huh?

My life... I've had a hell of a ride.

But I wouldn't trade the time we had together for anything.

You okay?

It's all good.