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1
00:00:03,926 --> 00:00:05,461
This is so boring.
2
00:00:05,462 --> 00:00:08,033
Yeah, nobody ever wants
to play with us.
3
00:00:08,034 --> 00:00:10,038
[barks]
[dramatic music]
4
00:00:10,138 --> 00:00:11,909
Look!
[sniffs]
5
00:00:14,046 --> 00:00:15,047
[whines]
6
00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:19,056
Oh, my God.
We can play two-on-two!
7
00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:21,460
[upbeat music]
8
00:00:21,461 --> 00:00:25,669
- Whoa!
- Pass it, Hockey Dog! I'm open!
9
00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:28,708
- All right!
- Get it, Hockey Dog!
10
00:00:28,809 --> 00:00:31,113
Yeah!
11
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,414
[laughs]
12
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:35,421
Great job, Hockey Dog.
You're a real winner.
13
00:00:35,422 --> 00:00:38,094
Hooray for friendship!
14
00:00:38,095 --> 00:00:40,197
[barking]
15
00:00:40,198 --> 00:00:43,203
[dramatic music]
16
00:00:43,204 --> 00:00:49,104
♪ ♪
17
00:00:59,688 --> 00:01:00,988
[glass shatters]
18
00:01:02,469 --> 00:01:04,239
Well, with the one
Hockey Dog found,
19
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:05,810
that's four victims this week.
20
00:01:05,910 --> 00:01:08,882
No link besides the scratches
on their palms.
21
00:01:08,883 --> 00:01:09,751
Don't bother, Summers.
22
00:01:09,851 --> 00:01:12,523
Flute's already deep
in his crime mind.
23
00:01:13,325 --> 00:01:14,995
Or chasing the mailman.
24
00:01:14,996 --> 00:01:16,329
[echoing]
25
00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:19,102
Welcome to "Are You
Smarter Than a Murderer?"
26
00:01:19,103 --> 00:01:21,506
I'm Steve Harvey,
and this is the best game show
27
00:01:21,530 --> 00:01:23,645
I've ever hosted this week.
28
00:01:23,746 --> 00:01:26,218
- Let's meet our contestant.
- Hi, I'm Marvin Flute.
29
00:01:26,318 --> 00:01:28,387
I'm excited to play
and more excited to win,
30
00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,526
because I never lose anything,
except my wallet,
31
00:01:30,626 --> 00:01:33,497
my temper, and my virginity
at 13 to a vacuum cleaner.
32
00:01:33,498 --> 00:01:34,767
Sent me to the ER, but still,
33
00:01:34,768 --> 00:01:37,405
first in my friend group
to lose it, so I won.
34
00:01:37,406 --> 00:01:38,742
Would love to delve into that,
35
00:01:38,743 --> 00:01:40,946
but I'm hosting
"Celebrity Pasta Slurp-Off,"
36
00:01:40,947 --> 00:01:43,752
and Leighton Meester ain't
gonna wait for that bucatini.
37
00:01:43,753 --> 00:01:46,623
Let's play! Spanx on the floor.
[buzzer dings]
38
00:01:46,624 --> 00:01:48,824
The victim had been trying
to squeeze into a slim dress.
39
00:01:48,848 --> 00:01:50,148
Correct.
[bell dings]
40
00:01:50,232 --> 00:01:51,801
Wine stain on her purse.
41
00:01:51,802 --> 00:01:54,002
Based on the spatter pattern,
that stain could only come
42
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:56,476
from one thing: someone who
barely touched their dinner,
43
00:01:56,477 --> 00:01:58,380
had a few too many,
and is drunkenly flailing
44
00:01:58,381 --> 00:02:01,854
on a dance floor to "YMCA."
45
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:05,027
Correct. And in that purse,
there was rice.
46
00:02:05,028 --> 00:02:07,466
She went to a wedding!
47
00:02:07,566 --> 00:02:10,806
Congratulations.
You won a possible lead.
48
00:02:10,807 --> 00:02:12,535
So is there a regular "Slurp-Off,"
49
00:02:12,570 --> 00:02:14,780
or is it just celebrities, and
where can I send my slurp tape?
50
00:02:14,781 --> 00:02:17,419
And wait, there's...
I have more questions.
51
00:02:17,519 --> 00:02:19,555
The vic went to a wedding
the night of her murder.
52
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,530
The other victims had also
recently attended weddings.
53
00:02:22,630 --> 00:02:24,499
And they all had scratches
on their palms,
54
00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:28,307
as if they were clamoring
to grab a wedding bouquet!
55
00:02:28,308 --> 00:02:30,545
Someone's targeting bouquet catchers.
56
00:02:30,546 --> 00:02:33,618
Looks like we got ourselves
a serial killer.
57
00:02:37,693 --> 00:02:40,332
Yeah, we really gotta stop
doing that.
58
00:02:40,432 --> 00:02:42,069
[tense music]
59
00:02:42,169 --> 00:02:43,437
Okay, I'll make this fast.
60
00:02:43,438 --> 00:02:44,440
- Make it fast, would you?
- Yes.
61
00:02:44,574 --> 00:02:46,566
- Thanks.
- The Bouquet Butcher's on the loose,
62
00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:48,264
- and there's a big wedding this week.
- How big?
63
00:02:48,265 --> 00:02:50,749
- Very big. The killer will be there...
- And so should we.
64
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:52,870
- We catch that bouquet...
- Well, we catch the killer.
65
00:02:52,894 --> 00:02:56,599
- Any questions?
- Why are we walking in a circle?
66
00:02:56,999 --> 00:02:59,837
Listen up. We're going
undercover at a wedding,
67
00:02:59,838 --> 00:03:01,573
and we need to send
in the detective
68
00:03:01,574 --> 00:03:04,247
who gives us the best chance
to catch the bouquet...
69
00:03:04,347 --> 00:03:07,352
me!
I'm built for this.
70
00:03:07,452 --> 00:03:09,555
Oh, I'm excited
to see you in action.
71
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:11,436
You haven't been out
in the field since way back
72
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:14,233
- when Clarissa explained it all.
- You're in for a treat.
73
00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:18,474
Back in the day, I won an award
for Best Undercover Detective.
74
00:03:18,475 --> 00:03:21,447
The award is undercover as a clock.
75
00:03:21,448 --> 00:03:23,451
Flute, you and I will go
as a couple.
76
00:03:23,452 --> 00:03:25,087
Oh, you two do look like
a couple.
77
00:03:25,088 --> 00:03:27,761
A couple of people who
definitely aren't a couple.
78
00:03:27,861 --> 00:03:30,464
Don't worry, I can fake
sexual chemistry with anything.
79
00:03:30,465 --> 00:03:32,369
Watch this.
80
00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,640
[everyone oohs]
81
00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:36,777
- Martinez?
- Whatever you need, Chief.
82
00:03:36,778 --> 00:03:38,314
I can be the flower girl, DJ.
83
00:03:38,414 --> 00:03:40,986
Maybe you bake me in the cake,
I pop out, cuff the perp...
84
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:45,627
- You're gonna be the pastor.
- Got it. Just enrolled in seminary school.
85
00:03:45,628 --> 00:03:47,465
The rest of you will
be going undercover
86
00:03:47,466 --> 00:03:50,637
- as the wedding band.
- I don't know, Chief.
87
00:03:50,706 --> 00:03:52,186
Don't you think
we're a little too big
88
00:03:52,210 --> 00:03:55,581
to be going undercover
as a wedding ring?
89
00:03:55,582 --> 00:03:57,718
I got this. Hey, Summers.
90
00:03:57,719 --> 00:03:59,399
Hey, you got something
on your neck, buddy.
91
00:03:59,423 --> 00:04:01,593
Oh, that's just my power...
[speech slurring]
92
00:04:01,594 --> 00:04:04,165
As the wedding band, you'll
have the perfect vantage
93
00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:06,737
point from the stage to
spot anything suspicious.
94
00:04:06,738 --> 00:04:08,041
And to get you ready,
95
00:04:08,141 --> 00:04:12,349
I hired the best music teacher
in Grimsburg!
96
00:04:12,449 --> 00:04:15,722
[upbeat keytar solo]
97
00:04:22,904 --> 00:04:24,908
You are no longer detectives!
98
00:04:25,008 --> 00:04:30,908
From today henceforth you will
be known as... Wed Zeppelin.
99
00:04:32,756 --> 00:04:34,796
I haven't been to a wedding
since I officiated mine.
100
00:04:34,928 --> 00:04:37,215
Saved a ton, skipped the
boring parts, and nobody got
101
00:04:37,216 --> 00:04:39,502
to tell me when I could or
could not kiss the bride.
102
00:04:39,503 --> 00:04:41,999
Not starting my marriage getting
ordered around by a virgin.
103
00:04:42,023 --> 00:04:44,727
Hey.
I'm Terry, uncle of the bride.
104
00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:46,580
I'm Mark Milkshack,
and this is my girlfriend,
105
00:04:46,604 --> 00:04:49,355
- Teresa Smoothé.
- I don't see you on the list.
106
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,662
- How do you know the couple?
- Uh...
107
00:04:51,694 --> 00:04:53,531
I'm the mother of the bride.
[chuckles]
108
00:04:53,664 --> 00:04:56,569
So you're my sister?
109
00:04:56,570 --> 00:04:59,209
[laughs] You think your sister
is the bride's actual mother?
110
00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:01,246
She's been lying to you
this whole time, Uncle Terry,
111
00:05:01,247 --> 00:05:03,007
or should I say, Terry,
the guy who got duped
112
00:05:03,008 --> 00:05:04,809
into working the door
at a stranger's wedding
113
00:05:04,810 --> 00:05:07,259
when he could be out
on the lake windsurfing.
114
00:05:07,393 --> 00:05:11,333
You're right!
Whoo-hoo-hoo! [laughs]
115
00:05:11,334 --> 00:05:13,294
You know, I feel bad
her uncle is gonna miss this,
116
00:05:13,318 --> 00:05:16,056
but statistically,
he's probably a pervert.
117
00:05:17,078 --> 00:05:19,583
Remember, keep an eye out
for anyone suspicious.
118
00:05:19,684 --> 00:05:21,554
Hey, no sitting on the equipment!
119
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:25,695
- Does that say "chair" on it?
- I mean, do any chairs?
120
00:05:25,696 --> 00:05:29,736
- I'm guessing you're the A/V guy?
- No, I'm the A/V guy.
121
00:05:29,838 --> 00:05:32,309
I just did four weddings
back-to-back.
122
00:05:32,409 --> 00:05:35,681
Lemme tell ya,
it was murder.
123
00:05:35,682 --> 00:05:36,851
[suspenseful music]
124
00:05:36,852 --> 00:05:41,260
Everybody dropping the mic
at the end of their toasts.
125
00:05:41,261 --> 00:05:45,601
What if I came to your house and
dropped your baby on its head?
126
00:05:45,602 --> 00:05:48,941
- That would be much worse.
- Agree to disagree.
127
00:05:48,942 --> 00:05:50,745
Where the hell have you been?
128
00:05:50,846 --> 00:05:52,983
I've been waiting
in the practice room!
129
00:05:52,984 --> 00:05:54,853
We're not actually
gonna practice.
130
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:58,161
- I thought we were just lip-syncing.
- But it must be believable.
131
00:05:58,261 --> 00:06:00,164
Because if one person
does not believe
132
00:06:00,165 --> 00:06:02,636
we are a real band
playing cover songs,
133
00:06:02,736 --> 00:06:05,407
the entire operation
will be compromised!
134
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:09,582
Now to the practice room.
The work starts yesterday!
135
00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:12,890
[gasps] That was a day ago!
[chatter]
136
00:06:12,891 --> 00:06:14,691
Let's keep an eye out
for anything suspicious.
137
00:06:14,825 --> 00:06:16,093
Or those tiny little hamburgers.
138
00:06:16,094 --> 00:06:17,766
Oh, and this is really important:
139
00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:19,207
make sure
you throw away the napkins,
140
00:06:19,208 --> 00:06:21,008
so they don't know how many
we've already had.
141
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:23,198
By the way, I know I kind of
beefed it before,
142
00:06:23,278 --> 00:06:26,517
but I just have to relax
and not overthink it.
143
00:06:26,518 --> 00:06:28,388
I'll go get us some wine.
144
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:29,890
No, that's how I walk.
145
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:33,363
But how does
Teresa Smoothé walk?
146
00:06:33,364 --> 00:06:36,693
[soft music]
147
00:06:37,506 --> 00:06:40,644
Wow.
She is a tall drink of useless.
148
00:06:40,645 --> 00:06:42,916
What the Helena Bonham Carter?
149
00:06:42,917 --> 00:06:46,489
So there I am, butt naked...
150
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:49,630
can you excuse me for a sec?
151
00:06:49,764 --> 00:06:51,800
- What are you doing here?
- Shh!
152
00:06:51,801 --> 00:06:53,804
I'm wedding crashing.
Like the movie.
153
00:06:53,805 --> 00:06:55,209
Like the movie?
I love the movie!
154
00:06:55,309 --> 00:06:57,229
It's the perfect combination
of raunch and heart,
155
00:06:57,253 --> 00:06:58,780
with a tasteful amount of nudity.
156
00:06:58,781 --> 00:07:02,689
- But what are you doing here?
- I told you, I'm wedding crashing.
157
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,192
- Like the movie.
- Yes, Harmony.
158
00:07:04,193 --> 00:07:05,862
I loved it.
Weren't you listening?
159
00:07:05,863 --> 00:07:07,834
Vince Vaughn turns
in a tour de force performance,
160
00:07:07,934 --> 00:07:10,071
while Rachel McAdams
is the film's beating heart.
161
00:07:10,204 --> 00:07:12,541
Marvin, I am wedding crashing.
162
00:07:12,542 --> 00:07:14,780
Here. At this current moment.
163
00:07:14,881 --> 00:07:18,787
Oh, like the movie.
I love that movie. [smacks lips]
164
00:07:18,788 --> 00:07:20,224
Wow, so this is
who you are now?
165
00:07:20,225 --> 00:07:22,762
A lady who sneaks into
strangers' weddings for fun?
166
00:07:22,763 --> 00:07:25,101
Yes, Marvin.
I am, because I'm fun.
167
00:07:25,102 --> 00:07:28,511
- I was the fun one in our marriage.
- [scoffs] You?
168
00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:31,849
The fun one? Marriage?
In our? Was?
169
00:07:31,949 --> 00:07:33,852
[chuckles] Ha!
170
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,123
- I was the fun one.
- Oh, please. Look at you.
171
00:07:36,224 --> 00:07:37,993
You can't even have fun
at a wedding.
172
00:07:37,994 --> 00:07:40,381
Oh, really? I'll have so much
fun at this wedding that when
173
00:07:40,382 --> 00:07:42,236
people ask for my number...
and they all will...
174
00:07:42,237 --> 00:07:44,940
they'll save it in their phones
as Funmaster Flex.
175
00:07:44,941 --> 00:07:46,878
Oh, you wanna do this?
Let's do this.
176
00:07:46,978 --> 00:07:48,615
Fun-petition begins now.
177
00:07:48,715 --> 00:07:51,786
And yes, that is the more fun way
to describe a fun competition.
178
00:07:51,787 --> 00:07:53,824
Wrong, competish-fun
is way better.
179
00:07:53,825 --> 00:07:55,461
Point for me.
One-nothing.
180
00:07:55,561 --> 00:07:57,298
Ooh, make that two-nothing.
181
00:07:57,299 --> 00:07:58,134
[grunts]
182
00:07:58,268 --> 00:08:00,771
Oh, wow, my teeth
are having so much fun.
183
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,341
[grimaces] And so is my brain.
[pop]
184
00:08:02,342 --> 00:08:05,448
Ooh, and now my dislocated
knee is too.
185
00:08:05,449 --> 00:08:08,020
Five-zip!
I'm just funning up the score.
186
00:08:09,334 --> 00:08:11,337
[soft organ music]
187
00:08:11,547 --> 00:08:13,984
Harmony thinks she's the fun
one in our relationship?
188
00:08:13,985 --> 00:08:15,322
Well, then what's this?
189
00:08:15,422 --> 00:08:17,525
Would you cut it out?
We're undercover.
190
00:08:17,526 --> 00:08:19,229
Which means
you don't know Harmony,
191
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:21,734
and I'm about to get found out
because I don't know
192
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,538
if Teresa Smoothé cries
at weddings or not.
193
00:08:23,539 --> 00:08:27,480
I'll just split the difference.
194
00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:29,949
♪ ♪
195
00:08:29,950 --> 00:08:33,055
Too bad she doesn't look
absolutely perfect in that.
196
00:08:33,056 --> 00:08:34,794
[laughter]
You're fun.
197
00:08:34,894 --> 00:08:36,830
Oh... oh yeah?
Well, I think it's too bad
198
00:08:36,831 --> 00:08:41,473
she looks like an absolute
swamp monster. [coughs]
199
00:08:41,474 --> 00:08:43,276
That guy's fun.
Life of the party.
200
00:08:43,277 --> 00:08:44,746
She does look like a monster.
201
00:08:44,747 --> 00:08:46,483
I think he meant that as a joke
to prove that he's fun.
202
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,320
Well, I didn't. She's hideous,
and I'm going home to barf.
203
00:08:52,629 --> 00:08:53,929
Good evening, my children.
204
00:08:53,998 --> 00:08:56,503
I hope you're all prepared
to eat the body of Christ,
205
00:08:56,504 --> 00:08:59,169
drink the blood of Christ,
and just generally welcome
206
00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:01,881
a lot of Christ
into your digestive system.
207
00:09:01,981 --> 00:09:05,186
[Kool & the Gang's
"Celebration" playing]
208
00:09:05,187 --> 00:09:07,993
♪ ♪
209
00:09:10,111 --> 00:09:12,349
You call that not playing?
210
00:09:12,350 --> 00:09:14,753
You might as well
really not be playing,
211
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:18,727
if you're going to be
fake playing that bad!
212
00:09:18,728 --> 00:09:21,933
- Summers?
- Oh, sure thing, Maestro.
213
00:09:21,934 --> 00:09:24,940
Thank you.
214
00:09:24,941 --> 00:09:30,384
Is this a sting operation
or a stink operation?
215
00:09:30,385 --> 00:09:33,390
Summers, how can
a computer not keep time?
216
00:09:33,391 --> 00:09:36,696
Wynona, your keyboard skills
are like your love life...
217
00:09:36,697 --> 00:09:38,099
nonexistent!
218
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:42,543
And Kang, tone down the raw
sexuality! It's a triangle.
219
00:09:42,643 --> 00:09:46,517
I need the ding,
and all I'm getting is dong!
220
00:09:46,617 --> 00:09:50,022
Why do you think I shroud myself
in this oversized parka?
221
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,394
It's just safer for all of us.
222
00:09:51,494 --> 00:09:54,899
Do any of you know what's
on the line here?
223
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:58,475
- Stopping a murderer?
- Starting the party!
224
00:09:58,575 --> 00:10:02,983
That is the wedding band's
sacred responsibility!
225
00:10:02,984 --> 00:10:04,153
[laughs] I'm sorry.
226
00:10:04,253 --> 00:10:07,659
Do you mind fetching me
one more?
227
00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:12,368
- Uh, this is for sitting, though, right?
- Um.
228
00:10:12,569 --> 00:10:14,539
I know what
you're all wondering:
229
00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:17,478
"Is Teresa Smoothé
left-handed or right?"
230
00:10:17,479 --> 00:10:20,418
Well, obviously there is
a very simple answer to that,
231
00:10:20,518 --> 00:10:25,328
which will fit perfectly with
everything you've seen from me so far.
232
00:10:25,428 --> 00:10:27,733
The wedding dinner is the
perfect place to get my fun on.
233
00:10:27,734 --> 00:10:29,436
Watch me start
a lively conversation
234
00:10:29,437 --> 00:10:31,037
that'll take us
from a table of strangers
235
00:10:31,061 --> 00:10:33,578
to lifelong friends who summer
together on a gross lake.
236
00:10:33,678 --> 00:10:36,184
So harvesting fetal tissue
for stem cell research.
237
00:10:36,284 --> 00:10:39,157
How do we feel about that,
huh? Huh?
238
00:10:39,257 --> 00:10:41,494
[mic rings] Hi.
239
00:10:41,594 --> 00:10:43,674
So I'll keep it short,
'cause I know we all wanna see
240
00:10:43,732 --> 00:10:46,603
this guy out on the dance floor.
241
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,523
Can she do this? Like, isn't
this a violation of wedding laws?
242
00:10:49,576 --> 00:10:52,113
Just relax and enjoy the dinner.
243
00:10:52,114 --> 00:10:55,388
Um, and my last rule
for a successful marriage...
244
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,856
never go to bed angry,
245
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,595
unless he doesn't let you
watch your shows.
246
00:10:58,695 --> 00:11:00,265
And she watches shows!
[laughs]
247
00:11:00,366 --> 00:11:03,370
I do!
[laughs] I love watching shows.
248
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,374
And we like watching things too,
249
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:06,675
especially you two,
250
00:11:06,744 --> 00:11:08,481
finding each other
in law school,
251
00:11:08,581 --> 00:11:10,452
falling in love,
and becoming partners
252
00:11:10,552 --> 00:11:13,757
in the law firm
of Happily, Ever, and After.
253
00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:16,330
Oh, good thing I wore
this waterproof mascara.
254
00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:17,966
I didn't.
255
00:11:17,967 --> 00:11:20,696
Now let's party!
[cheers and applause]
256
00:11:22,342 --> 00:11:25,416
[dark music]
257
00:11:25,516 --> 00:11:27,116
[Kool & the Gang's
"Celebration" playing]
258
00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:28,955
They're buying it!
I guess all your physical
259
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:32,296
- and mental abuse was justified.
- It was.
260
00:11:32,396 --> 00:11:35,735
Kang, please!
There are children!
261
00:11:36,771 --> 00:11:39,542
Hello, my child.
Anything you'd like to confess?
262
00:11:39,543 --> 00:11:41,246
I'm running a special on murders.
263
00:11:41,247 --> 00:11:45,254
- Klaren, let's start a conga line.
- [laughing] Oh, you're so fun!
264
00:11:45,255 --> 00:11:47,292
Don't you wanna join in
on the fun?
265
00:11:47,293 --> 00:11:50,264
[grunts] No thanks.
I'm starting a funner conga line
266
00:11:50,265 --> 00:11:51,565
where we hold
each other's butts.
267
00:11:51,569 --> 00:11:53,506
Somebody grab my... ooh!
268
00:11:54,873 --> 00:11:56,476
One song left.
269
00:11:56,477 --> 00:11:59,917
Are you thinking
what I am thinking?
270
00:12:00,017 --> 00:12:04,125
Right then, lads! Let's tear
the bloody house down, yeah?
271
00:12:04,226 --> 00:12:06,998
["The Chicken Dance" playing]
272
00:12:07,098 --> 00:12:08,435
I know it's silly,
273
00:12:08,535 --> 00:12:09,835
but I've been dreaming
of this since I was a...
274
00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:11,272
- Out of the way, lovebirds!
- Hey!
275
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:14,413
- What the...
- Give it up, Flute. I'm clearly the fun one here.
276
00:12:14,513 --> 00:12:17,017
Uh, please, I've got fun
coming out of my pores.
277
00:12:17,117 --> 00:12:18,421
Those are just blackheads.
278
00:12:18,521 --> 00:12:20,759
Which are way more fun
to pop than whiteheads.
279
00:12:20,859 --> 00:12:22,159
Faster!
280
00:12:22,163 --> 00:12:24,167
[song speeds up]
281
00:12:24,267 --> 00:12:27,305
- Just quit.
- I won't quit until Stan has to bury one of us.
282
00:12:27,406 --> 00:12:28,540
You'll never finish at this pace.
283
00:12:28,541 --> 00:12:29,843
Maybe you forgot, but in our marriage,
284
00:12:29,844 --> 00:12:31,280
you were the one
who never finished.
285
00:12:31,281 --> 00:12:33,789
- I always did.
- I don't think that's something to brag about.
286
00:12:33,813 --> 00:12:36,290
Probably, but chickens
are not that smart.
287
00:12:36,390 --> 00:12:38,561
[clucking]
288
00:12:38,694 --> 00:12:40,430
Are you... oh, my...
you're flying!
289
00:12:40,431 --> 00:12:42,204
I am flying.
And you stopped.
290
00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:44,872
I beat you, and gravity,
and probably evolution.
291
00:12:44,873 --> 00:12:47,044
And... and I don't know how
to land this thing.
292
00:12:47,145 --> 00:12:49,783
Oh. Uh, somebody help me.
I'm gonna crash!
293
00:12:49,883 --> 00:12:51,586
[thud]
294
00:12:51,587 --> 00:12:54,626
[cheers and applause]
295
00:12:54,627 --> 00:12:58,901
We'll be right back
after a quick break.
296
00:13:00,338 --> 00:13:01,807
Let's talk to the bartender,
297
00:13:01,808 --> 00:13:03,677
see what he knows about
these murders.
298
00:13:03,678 --> 00:13:05,581
[laughs] You're incredible!
299
00:13:05,582 --> 00:13:07,719
I've never seen
a better lip-sync band.
300
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,600
And I should know,
because I've been lip-syncing
301
00:13:09,624 --> 00:13:11,091
this whole time.
302
00:13:11,092 --> 00:13:13,764
[goofy voice] Sign here.
I'll take you to the top of the charts.
303
00:13:13,765 --> 00:13:15,601
This is what
we've been working towards
304
00:13:15,602 --> 00:13:18,039
our entire afternoon!
305
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,614
There's no way it can
all come crashing down.
306
00:13:21,714 --> 00:13:24,719
Can I have your autograph?
Uh, right here.
307
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,020
Stay away
from my future husband,
308
00:13:26,024 --> 00:13:27,659
if I ever get the courage
to tell him!
309
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,496
Shirley Temple.
Make it a double.
310
00:13:29,497 --> 00:13:33,571
- Haven't you had enough?
- You work for me!
311
00:13:36,210 --> 00:13:39,715
Kang, the camera loves you.
Why don't you come to the front?
312
00:13:39,716 --> 00:13:42,388
So now he is the front man?
313
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,492
We're just Kang and the Gang?
314
00:13:44,493 --> 00:13:46,664
- I quit.
- Meet your son.
315
00:13:46,764 --> 00:13:49,469
He's got your lack of a smile
and your outerwear.
316
00:13:49,470 --> 00:13:51,625
Call my lawyer.
He'll set you up with an NDA
317
00:13:51,649 --> 00:13:54,279
- and a college fund.
- Let him have his fun.
318
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,217
I'm too busy with my brand.
I've gone viral.
319
00:13:57,218 --> 00:13:58,620
[slurring] This is my family.
320
00:13:58,621 --> 00:14:01,793
My aunt Shirley.
My uncle Temple.
321
00:14:01,794 --> 00:14:05,668
You have replaced me
with Gerard Way?
322
00:14:05,669 --> 00:14:07,109
Maybe there's room
for two front men.
323
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:11,881
No, we either do it my way
or the Gerard Way.
324
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,785
Exactly.
Let's go!
325
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,921
We're back from our break.
326
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:19,453
Who's ready to "Cha Cha Slide"?
327
00:14:20,798 --> 00:14:22,669
You know, one day we're gonna
look back on this and laugh.
328
00:14:22,769 --> 00:14:24,806
Probably because
of something I said or did,
329
00:14:24,807 --> 00:14:26,876
because I clearly won
the fun-petition.
330
00:14:26,877 --> 00:14:28,948
Uh, not if I catch this thing.
331
00:14:29,049 --> 00:14:31,153
Everybody loves
the bouquet catcher.
332
00:14:31,154 --> 00:14:34,158
[mysterious music]
333
00:14:34,159 --> 00:14:36,955
You got this. Don't even
waste a second thinking about
334
00:14:36,964 --> 00:14:39,268
how you screwed up
everything else so far.
335
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,837
Oh, God, the bouquet toss!
336
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,975
Ooh, somebody's getting
nervous he's about to lose.
337
00:14:42,976 --> 00:14:44,979
I'm serious.
You can't catch it.
338
00:14:44,980 --> 00:14:47,952
Wait, this isn't about
the fun-petition at all, is it?
339
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:50,257
[gasps] You're afraid
I'll get married again.
340
00:14:50,258 --> 00:14:51,859
What? No, there's a mur...
341
00:14:51,860 --> 00:14:55,467
- Wait, would you get married again?
- I mean, yeah. Eventually.
342
00:14:55,468 --> 00:14:57,004
- To someone other than me?
- Yes.
343
00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:59,843
- Before I die?
- Based on your diet, maybe.
344
00:14:59,943 --> 00:15:02,149
And what, he and I will
share the basement?
345
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,853
What? No. He'll sleep in my
bedroom, and you'd move on.
346
00:15:04,953 --> 00:15:07,825
What, did you think you were
gonna live in my basement forever?
347
00:15:07,826 --> 00:15:10,331
What? No. It's not like I
just put a non-refundable
348
00:15:10,332 --> 00:15:12,836
deposit towards building a
breakfast nook in the basement.
349
00:15:12,970 --> 00:15:15,742
Oh, my God, Stan's college
fund is even more gone.
350
00:15:15,876 --> 00:15:18,580
Good luck.
Here's to true love.
351
00:15:18,581 --> 00:15:21,586
[cheering]
352
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,259
[tense music]
353
00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:26,329
- [gasps]
- [grunts]
354
00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:29,469
[guests screaming]
[dramatic music]
355
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,639
[barks]
356
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:36,749
- [gasps] Oh!
- Harmony caught the bouquet.
357
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:39,489
That means she's gonna suffer
the worst fate imaginable.
358
00:15:39,589 --> 00:15:41,459
Oh, you mean get married?
359
00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:42,861
Ba dum tss.
360
00:15:42,862 --> 00:15:45,809
No, but she is in a lot of danger.
361
00:15:47,576 --> 00:15:50,816
- Here's your vodka bread bowl.
- It's the perfect drink,
362
00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:52,920
'cause the bread soaks up
the alcohol twice.
363
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,188
[groans] I can't believe
364
00:15:54,189 --> 00:15:55,669
Harmony's next in line
to get murdered
365
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,596
and married...
neither of which sound fun,
366
00:15:57,696 --> 00:15:58,897
and yet she still beat me.
367
00:15:58,898 --> 00:16:01,937
[slurps]
No, I'm the real loser here.
368
00:16:02,071 --> 00:16:04,677
I thought I could be back
in the field, but I choked.
369
00:16:04,777 --> 00:16:06,312
If I was a better pastor,
370
00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:08,451
the murderer would have
already confessed to me.
371
00:16:08,452 --> 00:16:11,457
I wish I could choke
on something and die.
372
00:16:11,557 --> 00:16:14,963
That's how a musician
is supposed to leave the band!
373
00:16:14,964 --> 00:16:17,969
Speaking of dying,
who's watching Harmony?
374
00:16:18,069 --> 00:16:20,542
[all gasp]
Oh, God, Harmony!
375
00:16:23,013 --> 00:16:25,953
Ugh, so tasty,
but so structurally unsound.
376
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:28,891
I heard there's an after-party.
We have to go.
377
00:16:28,892 --> 00:16:30,861
Maybe you'll meet
your future husband!
378
00:16:30,862 --> 00:16:33,601
You're not going anywhere.
I've been looking for you.
379
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:37,442
- You're gonna pay.
- Bocka brebbull.
380
00:16:37,443 --> 00:16:38,844
[grunts]
381
00:16:38,945 --> 00:16:40,983
[gasps] I did
something undercover!
382
00:16:41,116 --> 00:16:44,690
- And I won another award.
- She's gonna pay!
383
00:16:44,790 --> 00:16:46,090
Seems like they got this.
384
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,412
Come on.
We should get outta here.
385
00:16:47,436 --> 00:16:49,967
See you at the after-party, I guess.
386
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:53,323
What is going on?
Aren't you guys a wedding band,
387
00:16:53,324 --> 00:16:55,142
a normal couple, and a pastor?
388
00:16:55,143 --> 00:16:56,881
And which one of you is paying me?
389
00:16:56,981 --> 00:17:00,054
- Paying you?
- Yeah. The blonde speech lady made
390
00:17:00,055 --> 00:17:03,562
a big show and dented my mic.
Now I gotta get a replacement.
391
00:17:03,662 --> 00:17:06,801
I just can't stand wedding
crashers like those two,
392
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,604
- coming in here...
- Those two?
393
00:17:08,605 --> 00:17:13,648
- No. Klaren's a guest.
- [scoffs] Yeah, and I'm an IT guy.
394
00:17:13,748 --> 00:17:17,656
That woman's crashed the past
four weddings I've worked.
395
00:17:17,756 --> 00:17:19,791
[tense music]
396
00:17:20,495 --> 00:17:23,200
Finally. [sighs]
It's just me and...
397
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:24,469
Commandeering this vehicle.
398
00:17:24,470 --> 00:17:27,776
We're all detectives, and we're
also all too drunk to drive.
399
00:17:27,876 --> 00:17:29,747
What?
Aren't you guys the band?
400
00:17:29,847 --> 00:17:33,187
[scoffs] We were. But then we
let our egos get in the way.
401
00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:36,058
And learned that sometimes,
when you hit play,
402
00:17:36,059 --> 00:17:37,393
it's hard to hit stop.
403
00:17:37,394 --> 00:17:40,066
We would have loved
this limo back in the day.
404
00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:42,304
Way back when, 40 minutes ago.
405
00:17:42,305 --> 00:17:45,877
It is better
to have rocked and lost
406
00:17:45,878 --> 00:17:48,584
than never to have rolled at all.
407
00:17:48,585 --> 00:17:52,024
Wait, does this mean you
weren't even a real pastor?
408
00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:54,028
You really thought I was a pastor?
409
00:17:54,128 --> 00:17:58,671
- Only because you told us you were!
- Oh, bless you both.
410
00:17:58,772 --> 00:18:00,006
[ominous music]
411
00:18:00,007 --> 00:18:02,211
[laughs] No, you lose.
412
00:18:02,312 --> 00:18:05,016
- You made a face.
- You made a face too.
413
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:06,954
[laughs] You're so fun.
414
00:18:07,088 --> 00:18:09,926
- That's what I've been saying.
- Oh, man.
415
00:18:09,927 --> 00:18:11,964
It sucks we can't hang out anymore.
416
00:18:12,064 --> 00:18:13,800
- Why not?
- 'Cause I'm not some weirdo
417
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,102
who hangs out with corpses.
418
00:18:15,103 --> 00:18:17,073
Whoa. Oh, whoops.
Skipped a step.
419
00:18:17,074 --> 00:18:19,177
I meant to tell you, I have to kill you.
420
00:18:19,178 --> 00:18:21,082
[gasps] Wait, is this
a new drinking game?
421
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:23,822
Let me find a knife too. Okay.
Uh, will a spoon work?
422
00:18:23,922 --> 00:18:26,494
This isn't a game.
This is my chance at happiness,
423
00:18:26,594 --> 00:18:29,197
and you ruined it
by catching that bouquet.
424
00:18:29,198 --> 00:18:31,068
I'm supposed to get married next.
425
00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:32,505
I subscribe to all the magazines.
426
00:18:32,606 --> 00:18:34,208
I've been a bridesmaid
so many times,
427
00:18:34,209 --> 00:18:37,281
I have 27 dresses!
Like the movie.
428
00:18:37,381 --> 00:18:39,251
Like the movie?
Duh, I loved it.
429
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:40,892
It's Katherine Heigl
at her most charming.
430
00:18:40,922 --> 00:18:42,258
But please don't kill me!
431
00:18:42,358 --> 00:18:45,363
I've gone to every wedding
in town trying to catch one,
432
00:18:45,364 --> 00:18:48,737
but there's always someone like you
who steals my bouquet,
433
00:18:48,738 --> 00:18:52,344
someone who's gonna have
my wedding, my perfect life!
434
00:18:52,345 --> 00:18:54,182
I'm tired of losing.
435
00:18:54,183 --> 00:18:57,419
- It's my turn to win!
- Stop.
436
00:18:57,489 --> 00:19:00,027
Harmony didn't
catch the bouquet.
437
00:19:00,127 --> 00:19:02,865
Yes, she did.
I was there. I saw it.
438
00:19:02,866 --> 00:19:04,234
You saw her catch a bouquet.
439
00:19:04,235 --> 00:19:07,508
But what you didn't know was
that the pastor wasn't licensed.
440
00:19:07,509 --> 00:19:10,079
She's an undercover officer,
which means...
441
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:11,760
Which means their marriage
wasn't official,
442
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,457
so the bouquet was devoid
of all matrimonial magic.
443
00:19:14,557 --> 00:19:16,259
Exactly.
But this one is real.
444
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:18,030
I am a licensed officiant.
445
00:19:18,130 --> 00:19:20,099
So I started the ceremony
on the way over,
446
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:21,435
and it's time to wrap it up.
447
00:19:21,436 --> 00:19:25,879
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
448
00:19:25,979 --> 00:19:27,815
Pentos.
449
00:19:27,816 --> 00:19:31,155
[dramatic beat] No!
I forgot the tape player!
450
00:19:31,156 --> 00:19:34,329
This might be crazy,
but what if we actually
451
00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:39,170
- played our instruments?
- It just might work!
452
00:19:39,171 --> 00:19:42,143
[strange "Bridal Chorus" rendition]
453
00:19:42,144 --> 00:19:44,716
Bouquet toss.
454
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:49,258
♪ ♪
455
00:19:49,259 --> 00:19:52,499
I did it!
I'm gonna get married!
456
00:19:52,599 --> 00:19:55,170
Where you're going,
orange is the new white.
457
00:19:55,270 --> 00:19:56,739
I'll be honest, I came up with
that in the car.
458
00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:59,445
I had one in the ball and chain
area, but it felt too obvious.
459
00:19:59,446 --> 00:20:01,006
And I would have had more,
but those two
460
00:20:01,030 --> 00:20:02,150
were yapping the whole time.
461
00:20:02,151 --> 00:20:04,321
- We were doing our vows.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
462
00:20:04,322 --> 00:20:06,794
Oh, and you look radiant, by the way.
463
00:20:06,894 --> 00:20:08,162
[triumphant music]
464
00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:09,832
♪ ♪
465
00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:14,576
Hey, I guess you saved my
life or whatever, so thanks.
466
00:20:14,676 --> 00:20:16,980
Just doing my job as a detective
467
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,415
and an ex-husband
who would hate
468
00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:19,616
to see anything happen to you.
469
00:20:19,687 --> 00:20:21,824
You know,
after watching the twisted way
470
00:20:21,957 --> 00:20:22,993
Klaren treated marriage,
471
00:20:23,093 --> 00:20:25,513
I realized we've been looking
at our divorce wrong.
472
00:20:25,565 --> 00:20:28,203
- We don't need to be so comp...
- Competitive!
473
00:20:28,303 --> 00:20:31,107
We said it at the same time,
so it's a tie.
474
00:20:31,108 --> 00:20:33,179
And it wasn't much
of a competition.
475
00:20:33,180 --> 00:20:35,316
You always were the fun one.
476
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,488
- You win.
- Hey, we're both winners,
477
00:20:37,489 --> 00:20:39,726
because at least we're not married.
478
00:20:39,826 --> 00:20:41,462
[both laugh]
479
00:20:41,463 --> 00:20:43,332
When I'm right,
I'm right, you know?
480
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,604
- Ours will be different.
- Talk to us in two years.
481
00:20:45,605 --> 00:20:47,508
Uh, pro tip: don't have a kid.
482
00:20:47,509 --> 00:20:49,712
Locks you in way longer
than you need to be there.
483
00:20:49,713 --> 00:20:52,151
[both laugh]
484
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:56,081
- Ahh.
- Where is Stan?
485
00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,871
Klaren, are you reading
more wedding magazines?
486
00:21:00,972 --> 00:21:03,743
Well, it's coming up.
Somebody's gotta plan it.
487
00:21:03,744 --> 00:21:05,613
I'm thinking barn style.
488
00:21:05,614 --> 00:21:07,684
Like, mason jars instead
of wine glasses.
489
00:21:07,685 --> 00:21:10,723
Oh, and wedding bands
made of twine. Look.
490
00:21:10,724 --> 00:21:13,828
Oh, I love it.
Now can you tell me again about
491
00:21:13,868 --> 00:21:15,171
the chicken man at the wedding?
492
00:21:15,172 --> 00:21:16,869
Why do you always ask me
about that?
493
00:21:16,870 --> 00:21:17,871
There was a man who did
494
00:21:17,872 --> 00:21:21,612
the chicken dance so hard
that he flew, duh.
495
00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:24,383
Delusions resistant to treatment.
Increase dosage.
496
00:21:24,452 --> 00:21:26,823
Also get mason jars.
Could be fun.
497
00:21:27,727 --> 00:21:30,713
sync & correction by f1nc0
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