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1
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:05,046
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
2
00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:09,175
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
3
00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:13,179
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
4
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:17,225
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
5
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:21,521
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
6
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,648
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
7
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,359
Ooh!
8
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,527
- Mommy!
- Aaaaaaah!
9
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,320
- Duncan!
- Duncan!
10
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,160
{\an8}Hurry up, kids. You're gonna
miss the school bus.
11
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,536
{\an8}Why aren't you driving us?
12
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,913
{\an8}You said the school bus driver
was an alcoholic.
13
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:41,249
{\an8}I said he drives
like an alcoholic.
14
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:44,210
{\an8}- We didn't even have breakfast.
- Here you go.
15
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,588
{\an8}Nom, nom, nom.
16
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,882
{\an8}Okay, time's up. Your father
and I have to get to work.
17
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,468
{\an8}We're busy, frazzled, working
parents, aren't we, Jack?
18
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:54,220
{\an8}So busy, so frazzled. Bye.
19
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,311
{\an8}Bam!
Binge time.
20
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,069
{\an8}Slanket us, baby.
21
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:17,077
{\an8}M'lady, prepare yourself for
ten hours of heaving bosoms
22
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,495
{\an8}and quivering buttocks.
23
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:21,748
{\an8}Don't forget lip-licking
and looks of askance.
24
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,167
{\an8}Last season
on Bodicetown...
25
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:27,170
{\an8}Lady Paleshoulders made
a shocking announcement.
26
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,714
{\an8}I am betrothed
to Sir Tightincloth,
27
00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:32,759
{\an8}and my flower is ready
to be plucked.
28
00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:37,972
{\an8}But how quickly
spring can turn to winter.
29
00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:39,099
{\an8}You plucked my flower
30
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:42,268
{\an8}and didn't even send
a messenger pigeon afterward.
31
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:45,772
{\an8}Perhaps this message
will suffice.
32
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,024
{\an8}Mm...
33
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:51,027
{\an8}Oh, what a recap.
34
00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:55,824
Butta gutta,
butta gutta, butta gutta.
35
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,450
Good morning, students.
36
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,953
After a series
of violent parent protests,
37
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,664
we will no longer
be serving 2% milk.
38
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,249
My stepdad whaled
on a guy for that.
39
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:05,458
He's a full-fatter.
40
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,545
And today's big announcement--
it's C-SET time.
41
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,881
We all know
what C-SET stands for,
42
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:12,924
but I'll say it anyway:
43
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,968
Class Superlative Election Time.
44
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,761
It's important
that students are recognized
45
00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:19,014
for things that won't matter
a damn in ten years.
46
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:22,058
I'm Mr. Mitch, and those are
your morning announcements.
47
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,353
Sorry, y'all--allergies.
48
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:26,688
Yeah, that's good.
49
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,065
This is the year
I'm finally winning Best Laugh.
50
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:30,525
Tell me which one
you like the best.
51
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,281
Can I hear the last one again?
52
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,450
Yeah, not that one.
53
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,368
I think I have a shot
at Mr. Personality.
54
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:44,748
I just hope I don't get
Most Likely to Succeed again.
55
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:47,375
- It's so embarrassing.
- You could withdraw your name.
56
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:48,960
Or you could mind
your own business, Bex.
57
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,712
What title you going for, D?
58
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:53,631
I don't know.
Maybe Class Couple?
59
00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:56,301
Or Best Eyes.
I'd totally vote for you.
60
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:59,262
You would? Yeah, my eyes
are pretty dreamy.
61
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,099
Okay, I'm just gonna give you
a baby wipe.
62
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:05,352
Oh, you definitely gettin'
Class Clown again, Bex.
63
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,686
You had a stellar year--
64
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,396
Alka-Seltzer
in the teachers' toilet,
65
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,981
arm fart
during that moment of silence,
66
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,941
and who else would draw
a wiener on that painting
67
00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:14,027
of George Washington
crossing the Delaware?
68
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,111
Mwah.
69
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:19,032
Yeah, the laughter I get from
my vulgar and crass behavior
70
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,742
is a special feeling.
71
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,119
But I can't take the title
for granted.
72
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,747
You're only as funny
as your last crying teacher.
73
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:28,375
Now, if you'll excuse me--
74
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,920
Hoomby, doomby,
ding me down, me poomp-a-wha.
75
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,758
- Yes!
- (laughs)
76
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,009
She got my vote.
77
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,552
Pluck my flower.
78
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,638
Pluck it, pluck it, pluck--
Oh, yes, keep plucking.
79
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,598
Me doth loves this.
80
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,183
Wow, look at 'em go, Jack.
81
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:48,186
It's been eight minutes
of nonstop relations.
82
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,231
Well, back then, they had
no Bodicetown to watch.
83
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,108
It was just duelin'
and doin' it.
84
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,985
Yeah, if you didn't use it,
it got cut off.
85
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:57,362
The king would take it!
86
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,614
I'll tell you what I do
find unbelievable, though.
87
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:01,950
He hasn't had
one lower-back spasm.
88
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,869
And her bosoms haven't rolled
under her armpits.
89
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:07,247
Jack, you're suckin'
on that spoon pretty hard.
90
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,874
Oh, my God, the spoon's empty.
We ran out of ice cream.
91
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:12,085
We can't watch seven more hours
92
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,254
of hot, young people
getting it on
93
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,548
without the cooling comfort
of ice cream.
94
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,801
Aw, I don't feel like putting on
pants and going to the store.
95
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,345
Who said anything
about putting on pants?
96
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:26,266
Oh, God bless you, Gary Clegg,
inventor of the Slanket.
97
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,976
M'lady.
98
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,730
And the nominees for Best Eyes
99
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,273
are Duncan Harris...
100
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,899
Gorgeous.
101
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:37,068
- To die for.
- I'm lost in them.
102
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:40,822
And a new student
who just started today, Januko.
103
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:44,909
Seems close.
104
00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:46,661
- Sit down, Duncan.
- Yes, sir.
105
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:49,039
Damn,
we are getting smoked today.
106
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,374
{\an8}I won,
but I'll probably give it back.
107
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,460
{\an8}- When?
- When I feel like it, Wolf.
108
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,629
And now it's time
for the most anticipated award,
109
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,631
Class Clown.
110
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,966
And your sole nominee
111
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,135
is the five-year reigning
Jester of Jokedale, Bex.
112
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,513
- Bex!
- Whoo!
113
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:06,723
You're the best!
114
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,309
Fellow students,
as your incumbent clown,
115
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,603
I promise you another year
116
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:16,483
of food fights, split pants,
and pricelessly timed farts.
117
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,904
What a one-two punch.
118
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:23,156
Okay, let's wrap up
this sham election.
119
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,158
- Who votes for Bex?
- Who cares?
120
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,910
Friday night
we're playing the Vikings,
121
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:30,455
or as I call them, the Suckings!
122
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,917
Whoa!
123
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:37,170
- Corey's hilarious.
- Corey for Class Clown!
124
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,674
That wasn't class-clowning.
That was just cruelty.
125
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,635
And he already won Most Cruel.
126
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:46,513
Corey! Corey! Corey!
127
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,390
No chant-in candidates!
128
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,767
Sorry, Bex, but the popular kids
scare me.
129
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,102
Plus, it's lunchtime.
130
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,187
- Corey wins.
- Yeah!
131
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,940
My life's easy.
132
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:57,982
Oh...
133
00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:00,819
Oh, my closer.
134
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:04,280
Okay, give us a pint
of your Robert Brownie Jr.,
135
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:07,701
Drew Barrys'more,
Fudge Judy, Anderson Scooper,
136
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,828
and I'm gonna finally try
the Mint Romney.
137
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,247
I'm sorry, this isn't
an ice cream store anymore.
138
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,332
Wait, it's not
Pop's Sprinkle Shop?
139
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,292
No, it's Doc's Wrinkle Spot.
140
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:17,627
We tried to come up with a name
141
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,838
to replace as little
of the sign as possible.
142
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,423
So we can't get a cold scoop?
143
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,591
No, but you can get
a cool sculpt.
144
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,010
That's where we freeze your fat,
145
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,595
and it leaks out of your body
at unexpected times.
146
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,806
We provide
age-reversing treatments,
147
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,224
like fillers, skin peels,
148
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:34,310
laser back shaving,
testicle balancing, and Botox.
149
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:37,022
Those things are for people who
are unhappy with their looks,
150
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,815
and we're very happy
with our looks.
151
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,651
Are you?
Your frown lines say otherwise.
152
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,819
We look fine.
153
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,904
And here's
the magnifying side.
154
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,907
Oh, God!
155
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,451
So that's a yes?
156
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:52,245
In the words
of Lady Paleshoulders...
157
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,040
Poketh me good, baby.
158
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,291
We look amazing.
159
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,668
Now that we've chemically
altered your appearance,
160
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:01,129
you probably have some questions
you should have asked earlier.
161
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:04,632
Just one--is there
a horse-drawn carriage nearby?
162
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,634
I believe there's
one parked outside.
163
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,303
Ah.
164
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:11,056
Oh, pluck, oh, pluck.
165
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,396
Annie and Jack had discovered
166
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:21,358
the botulism-infused plague
of eternal youth,
167
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:25,612
and as their skin tightened,
their undergarments loosened.
168
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,782
We just had sex twice
in 12 hours.
169
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,492
I'll get
your post-coital Ben-Gay.
170
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,327
I don't even need the PCBG.
171
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,537
My back was having
too much fun to spasm.
172
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,914
And my trick knee
didn't give out
173
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,874
when I backflipped
off the hamper.
174
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,210
Is it possible
that the lady magazines
175
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,836
at the supermarket are right,
176
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,130
that looking younger
makes you feel younger?
177
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:47,717
Yeah, I feel like I could do
50 sit-ups right now.
178
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,427
Well, the point is,
179
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:52,263
I haven't felt
that delusion in years.
180
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:55,100
Mommy and Daddy
haven't come downstairs yet.
181
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,768
How do we get food?
182
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:59,771
All right, let's see what's
in the old emergency kit.
183
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,901
{\an8}Okay, what do we got?
Foil blanket, toilet paper--
184
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,528
hello--
185
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,279
and some dried food.
186
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,533
"Parsnip flakes and
dehydrated pork-fat gravy"?
187
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:15,829
"Dried turkey chips
and taco-style sauce"--I'm out.
188
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,707
Just fire the gun
and wake up Mom and Dad.
189
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,792
Where have you two been,
and why do you look like
190
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,753
vacation photos of you
from before we were born?
191
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:26,006
Where are the lines
in your face?
192
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,549
I can't see the road.
193
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,884
Yeah, where's
your normal haggardness?
194
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:33,763
Uh, we've been just drinking
water and eating lettuce.
195
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,057
And stretching.
Lots of stretching.
196
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,642
{\an8}Don't you think
they look different?
197
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,437
{\an8}I don't know.
I never look at their faces.
198
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,564
You had work done.
199
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,773
- No, we didn't.
- Oh, yeah?
200
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,734
I let Dylan Walker feel a boob.
201
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,235
Kimberly!
202
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:50,238
We have never been
more disappointed in you.
203
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,322
I knew it.
204
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:53,742
You got your crow's feet 'toxed,
elevens filled,
205
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,994
marionette lines smoothed,
eyebags emptied,
206
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,203
and necks de-waddled.
207
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,706
Fess up, younger looking lady!
208
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,166
Okay.
209
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,709
- Lettuce.
- All right.
210
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,295
We were watching Bodicetown,
ate $100 worth of ice cream,
211
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,588
were feeling bad
about ourselves.
212
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,756
We got a little tune-up.
213
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,549
Aren't we entitled
to look our best?
214
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,218
No, you gave that up
when you decided to get old.
215
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,554
We just want to relive
that moment in our life
216
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,680
when we were young and hot
217
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,058
before time and children
ravaged us.
218
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,809
Let's do it, Jack, right now,
219
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,561
while we're still
artificially young.
220
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,481
To our tight, sexy past!
221
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,942
So should we go to school
or what?
222
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,070
I'm just gonna lay
under this foil blanket
223
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:33,156
and listen
to this hand-cranked radio.
224
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,784
As this emergency
broadcast goes off-air,
225
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,620
good luck,
and God bless everyone.
226
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:44,542
Welcome to sexual education.
227
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,587
This loser's trying to prevent
unwanted pregnancies.
228
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,130
Tear him apart, Bex.
229
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,216
Today we'll be learning
the application
230
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,385
of a prophylactic
onto a genitalia.
231
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:55,095
I'll demonstrate with a banana.
232
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,555
Give me a moment while
I rummage around my sack.
233
00:09:57,555 --> 00:10:00,225
He's rummaging his sack.
Trash this good man, Bex.
234
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,268
Oh, my sack smells terrible.
235
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:05,563
My ex-wife always complained
about my smelly, unwashed sack.
236
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,900
He givin' you
the alley-oop, Bex!
237
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,026
Here's the little guy.
238
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,237
Oh, it might be hard to put on
a condom when it's so mushy--
239
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,405
better when they're firm.
240
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,824
Even I want to hear
what you have to say, Bex.
241
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:18,535
Oh, I have something
to say, all right.
242
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,203
Grow up!
243
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,622
Good one!
Wait, no, it wasn't.
244
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:26,793
You want jokes?
Go to your class clown, Corey.
245
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,503
Corey, you got anything?
246
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:31,297
Um, that banana
looks like a wang.
247
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,759
You got to admit, Bex,
that wasn't bad under pressure.
248
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,845
Everybody, shut up!
249
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,638
This poor educator
250
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:42,058
is trying to teach you,
ungrateful hooligans,
251
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,686
- some sexual manners.
- Thank you, Bex.
252
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:47,022
You know, I also am in charge
of the Student Patrol.
253
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,232
We can always use
another humorless scold like you
254
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:50,984
to keep order
and stifle laughter.
255
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,527
Student Patrol?
256
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:55,989
You mean I'd be empowered
to take out my petty grievances
257
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,241
on those who didn't vote for me?
258
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,659
Yeah.
259
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,746
That fills the void nicely.
260
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,080
You hear that?
261
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,292
You didn't celebrate me,
but now you will fear me.
262
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,543
Now pipe down
263
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,087
and listen to this guy
talk about smashin'.
264
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,922
Carry on, Mr. P.
265
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:16,509
And now a subject that gives me
no pleasure, masturbation.
266
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,680
That's what I thought.
267
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,357
You look very snazzy, mister.
268
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,610
Please, "mister" is what
people called me yesterday.
269
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:38,698
We need spunky new duds
to match our bitchin' new look.
270
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:42,243
I'm gonna follow your lead.
You seem to know the lingo.
271
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:46,498
Can I be honest? Those are way
too young for you.
272
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:47,540
Let me show you
273
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,584
where the clothes
for people in their 20s are.
274
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:52,128
Our 20s?
Hot diggity!
275
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:53,838
Jack, watch the slang.
276
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,383
Hot diggity.
I like that.
277
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,009
Hot diggity,
I'll take this shirt.
278
00:11:58,009 --> 00:12:00,428
Oh, well, hot diggity,
I'll ring it up.
279
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,847
Oh, my God, Jack,
we're really pulling this off.
280
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,974
Want to see how far
we can take this?
281
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,226
Hot diggity!
282
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,147
Sorry, kids.
I can't sell you beer.
283
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:12,399
Yes!
284
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,067
You're too young
to buy cigarettes,
285
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,153
but just the right age to buy
this cotton candy vape juice.
286
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,739
- Yes!
- Also, shame on you.
287
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,242
You're not old enough
to get your prostate checked.
288
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:25,120
Get out of here,
you crazy, perverted kid.
289
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,371
Yes!
290
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,715
Hey, hey, hey, no running!
291
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:39,009
Hey, you're walking too slow.
292
00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:42,262
Hey, what's with you
walking just right?
293
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:46,016
Clean up this table.
Your mom doesn't work here.
294
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,934
Actually, my mom does work here.
295
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:51,187
Not anymore.
Dolores, you're fired!
296
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,689
Oh.
297
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:59,863
Oh, Poker Cat
is tearing Ben Affleck up.
298
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,906
I don't like
those frivolity levels.
299
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:04,034
- Take it down.
- What happened to you, Bex?
300
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,285
You used to be diggity.
301
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,370
We get you're pissed
about losing your title,
302
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,581
but acting like this
can't be making you happy.
303
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:12,125
That's where you're wrong, Red.
304
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,294
It's filling my tank.
305
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,879
You're scaring me, Bex.
306
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,965
Sorry, but being class clown
was my world,
307
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:22,344
ever since I got my first laugh
when I was six years old.
308
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,848
- Ow.
- You're next, frizz ball.
309
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:30,643
This is the body of Christ.
310
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,813
Ew. I don't know what part
of His body this is,
311
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,357
but I'm guessing butt.
312
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,280
Making kids laugh
made me feel special.
313
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,491
Then I saw how easily
I could be replaced
314
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,076
and realized I'm not.
315
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:48,453
But a bad attitude
and a yardstick--
316
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,497
baby, that's special.
317
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:53,291
And I don't have to fart
so hard I split my pants,
318
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:56,169
which my doctor said was sending
me to an early grave.
319
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,255
- Huh?
- ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
320
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,841
Hey, no open flame!
321
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,220
But I was just about
to make my wish.
322
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,389
It's my wish now.
323
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:10,725
Well, when you get Rihanna,
make sure you treat her right.
324
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:14,562
Fun day,
but I got to admit, I'm beat.
325
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,564
Good news
about my prostate, though.
326
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:20,276
Yeah, my torso's gettin'
a little cold in this crop top.
327
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:23,405
- Mm!
- Hey, freshmen, a little help!
328
00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:24,739
He thinks we're freshmen,
329
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:28,493
and he wants
their giant can of beer back.
330
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:31,037
Thanks, d-bags.
Want to party?
331
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,664
It's one
of the brodies' birthdays.
332
00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:35,500
Annie,
it's a real live frat party.
333
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,543
We've been dreaming of this
334
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,503
ever since
we never went to college.
335
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:39,838
Yeah, we've only seen these
336
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:42,257
in funny movies
and chilling documentaries.
337
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:44,009
We can't pass this up--
338
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,343
unless you're too tired.
339
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,512
Hell, no. I'm gonna pop
a Silver Centrum gummy
340
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:48,763
and get a second wind.
341
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:51,683
We accept your kind invitation.
342
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:52,934
Hot diggity!
343
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,020
Wait, are you lying
about your age?
344
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,062
Mm...
345
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,731
'Cause if you're
high-school students,
346
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,232
we could get in trouble.
347
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,693
Chill, dude.
We're older than we look.
348
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,529
Awesome! Sorry I called you guys
d-bags earlier.
349
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,322
No problem.
We deserved it.
350
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,866
- Let's party!
- Yeah!
351
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,200
Will Annie and Jack
352
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,536
enjoy a night
of drunken revelry?
353
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:12,787
I know I will.
354
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:16,833
Happy birthday, brodie!
Yee-haw!
355
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:24,883
It's even more magical
than I imagined!
356
00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:27,719
- Freshman burrito!
- I'm gettin' hazed, Annie.
357
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,806
It burns so good!
358
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:32,932
Good for you, honey.
359
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,811
- I'm playing flippy cup.
- Flip, flip, flip the cup.
360
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,855
Soon, we'll all be throwing up.
361
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,234
Bam, bam, bam, boom.
362
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:44,694
Our queen.
363
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,780
They're gonna push me
off the roof.
364
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,491
Have fun, honey!
365
00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:52,702
YOLO!
We young people are crazy.
366
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:56,289
Tonight's game is dedicated
to the memory of--
367
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,958
It's dedicated to the memory
of the Vikings,
368
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:03,046
- or as I call them...
- The Suckings!
369
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:05,965
What are you doing here?
370
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,509
We don't know where Mom
and Dad are,
371
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:09,177
so we decided to have
cotton candy for dinner.
372
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:10,387
Mm.
373
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,222
Hey, hey!
374
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,599
Leave some room
for the Holy Ghost.
375
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:17,185
Did you sneak
those empañadas from home?
376
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:19,270
I'm appropriating
this contraband.
377
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:22,399
My grandma made those
for my birthday.
378
00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:24,943
Tell her they're bad.
379
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:28,154
Hey, our cotton candy
looks like Duncan's hair.
380
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,073
Yeah.
381
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:32,283
- It do look like your 'do.
- It do not.
382
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,035
I'm Duncan.
383
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:35,954
I'm an idiot.
I ran out of clean underwear
384
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,373
- and wore my sister's.
- One time!
385
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,710
What's all
the commotion up there?
386
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:45,964
I'm Duncan.
My mom has to give me a bath.
387
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:49,384
Oh, you're one to talk, Jing.
388
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,761
No cuttin' up and hee-hawing.
389
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,264
But we're being funny
like you, Bex.
390
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,267
She's right.
391
00:16:57,267 --> 00:17:00,437
I don't need a stupid title
to be down to clown.
392
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:04,357
I'm an inspiration
to future fire-alarm pullers
393
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,359
and stink-bomb throwers.
394
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,361
I am special.
395
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:18,121
Ha!
396
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:21,249
Why?
I'm a good person!
397
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,793
Hail to the clown, baby!
398
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,420
♪ I am your clown ♪
399
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,504
♪ And I'll see you ♪
400
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,131
♪ In sex ed class ♪
401
00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,841
Oh, dear.
402
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,389
All right, Bobby Brown
dance challenge.
403
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,432
Let's do this.
404
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:40,435
Bobby Brown?
From the '80s?
405
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,562
That's before our time.
406
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,064
Yeah, we've never heard of him
407
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,899
or made out
at one of his concerts,
408
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:48,193
but we'll try to keep up.
409
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:51,154
♪ Every little step I take ♪
410
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:55,700
♪ You will be there,
every little step I make ♪
411
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,411
♪ We'll be together ♪
412
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,247
We got old once, Jack,
but never again!
413
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:04,459
Let's be young
and drunk forever!
414
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:06,878
We're being TikTok'd!
415
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:09,714
Yahoo! News, here we come!
416
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,968
Jack, your right jowl
just dropped.
417
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,388
Oh, you want to see a drop?
418
00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:19,724
That was dope.
Why are you frowning?
419
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,810
You're frowning!
420
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,061
Why didn't they warn us
421
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:25,730
this dubious procedure
was temporary?
422
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,315
Your brow is furrowing!
423
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:28,817
You shouldn't be able
to furrow.
424
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,235
Nicole Kidman doesn't furrow!
425
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,654
If these kids realize
we're secretly hideous,
426
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:35,240
we'll be exposed as
the pathetic old people we are!
427
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,826
I don't want to be
a viral me-me.
428
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,912
Let's get out of here.
429
00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,914
Oh, no!
430
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,458
A crying girl--
I have to console her.
431
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,377
Look at me!
If he can't handle your worst,
432
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:48,920
he doesn't deserve your best.
433
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,839
Mm.
434
00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,132
It's a college party.
435
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,384
I'm a dead man
if I don't play "Wonderwall."
436
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,011
And you're an old man
if you stay.
437
00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:57,887
You're already Giuliani'ing!
438
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:05,687
Wrestle! Wrestle!
Wrestle! Wrestle!
439
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:06,980
- Ew!
- Dude, I don't mean to be
440
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,941
body shaming, but that
is not the freshman 15.
441
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,903
Edward Fortyhands!
442
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:16,031
Jack, I played this
at a baby shower once.
443
00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:17,782
They won't take them off
until we drink them all.
444
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,868
- Whose baby shower?
- Lianne.
445
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,661
Oh, right, Lianne.
446
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,872
God, I hope that kid's okay.
447
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:27,042
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
448
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,754
What are you looking at?
449
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:37,135
That's right.
We're old.
450
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,304
You don't know what's diggity.
451
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:44,851
Oh, my burps taste awful.
452
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,811
They smell awful, too, honey.
453
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:49,522
Here, have some more Dwayne,
The Rocky Road, Johnson.
454
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,608
Well, there's
no fightin' it, Jack.
455
00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,360
We're aging, but you know what?
456
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,862
There's no one I'd rather
grow old with than you.
457
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,030
Aw, babe.
458
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,699
Well, I think we look
better this way.
459
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,368
We do look good,
460
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:04,120
and, also, we're both losing
our eyesight, so who cares?
461
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,538
There's nothing I'd rather do
462
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,290
than feel you up
under a Slanket.
463
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:10,460
Then have
at me, Lady Thickbottom.
464
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:13,129
Oh, I shall, Sir Dadboddington.
465
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,677
Annie and Jack's
torrid passion quickly turned
466
00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:19,761
to deep sleep...
467
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,221
And they learned
468
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,848
that while getting old
is no prance in the park,
469
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:25,892
at least they could--
470
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,560
Good God.
471
00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:33,441
Huh?
472
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:37,987
Oh, is it cookie time again?
I'll take 100.
473
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,781
No, we're the new writers
for Bex.
474
00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:43,410
Get in here.
School starts in ten minutes.
475
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:45,995
All right,
what do you got for me?
476
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,248
Okay, you know
how juice-box holes
477
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,583
are always too small
for the straw?
478
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,335
Well, I was thinking it--
479
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:55,463
Are you gonna get
to the joke before I die?
480
00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:56,840
What do you got, Kimberly?
481
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,175
So this isn't "ha ha" funny,
but--
482
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:01,845
I eat, sleep, and crap ha ha's.
483
00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,389
{\an8}But I struggled all night
to come up with this.
484
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,432
{\an8}Will you at least hear it?
485
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,058
{\an8}You want to talk about struggle?
486
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:09,686
{\an8}I struggled all
through grade school to learn
487
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,105
{\an8}how to fit a banana up my nose.
488
00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:15,692
{\an8}But when I sneeze it out
at lunch today,
489
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:18,653
{\an8}that cafeteria is gonna be
a river of pee
490
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,530
{\an8}from kids laughing so hard.
491
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:23,324
{\an8}That's the bar--banana nose.
492
00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:26,202
{\an8}You know she likes you, right?
493
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,621
{\an8}I don't care.
I just want the soda.
494
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,298
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