All language subtitles for Duncanville.S03E10.Moneyballs.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:04,921 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 2 00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:08,967 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 3 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:13,096 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 4 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:17,058 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 5 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:21,521 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 6 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,648 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 7 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:25,984 Ooh! 8 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,652 - Mommy! - Aaaaaaah! 9 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,195 - Duncan! - Duncan! 10 00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:32,949 No, no, no. 11 00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:35,368 {\an8}Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. 12 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:38,246 {\an8}Oh, right, I was thinking of the vacuole. 13 00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,498 {\an8}Oh, stupid, Bex! Stupid! 14 00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:41,624 {\an8}You sure you can't make 15 00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:43,084 {\an8}my dad's birthday dinner, Dunker? 16 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:45,045 {\an8}He's getting older and declining just enough 17 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,339 {\an8}to forget how much he disapproves of me. 18 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:50,175 {\an8}This could be the big hug, "Love you, son" year! 19 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:53,011 {\an8}You poor, sweet, hopeful Daddy. 20 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,513 {\an8}Uhh, that sounds so amazing, 21 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:57,390 {\an8}but we really gotta nail this project. 22 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,934 {\an8}Please give Grandpa my sincerest regards. 23 00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:02,228 {\an8}Mia, you are such a good influence on the group. 24 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,439 {\an8}You've turned Dunkie into a little egghead. 25 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,523 {\an8}What can I say? 26 00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:07,275 {\an8}This project's 30% of our grade, 27 00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:08,568 {\an8}which is, like, half. 28 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,278 {\an8}It's a work in progress. 29 00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:11,529 {\an8}Can't I stay home too? 30 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,573 {\an8}I'm bingeing Downton Abbey, and I'm obsessed. 31 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:14,616 They have accents, 32 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,451 {\an8}so it's educational, guv'nor. 33 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,952 {\an8}Nope, Kimberly. 34 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,288 {\an8}You've gotta hold the phone when my dad gives me that hug. 35 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,290 Your mom always gets her thumb in the shot. 36 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:26,044 Yeah, I've ruined many a precious moment 37 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,420 with these lugs. 38 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,672 Don't say that, Mrs. Harris. 39 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,006 You've got bangin' thumbs. 40 00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:31,925 All right. Let's get outta here. 41 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,096 Wait for it. 42 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,972 Go, go, go! 43 00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:40,475 Bex, pizza. 44 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:42,811 Olive! 45 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,896 Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's presentation 46 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,315 includes blood, boobs, ding-dongs, 47 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,650 and decapitations. 48 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:49,734 I give you... 49 00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:51,569 Reptilia! 50 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,738 I hear it's a metaphor for women taking up space 51 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:55,657 in a man's world, so I'm down. 52 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,951 You swore you wouldn't ruin this. 53 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,869 I'm still pumped to see ding-dongs. 54 00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:03,373 Oh, I have feelings for you too, George. 55 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,750 But we have to repopulate our planet. 56 00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:09,295 You cold-blooded bitch! 57 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:12,132 Damn, she's laying eggs in his head hole! 58 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:18,054 Dad, the bridge of communication 59 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:20,932 hasn't always reached across that endless chasm 60 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,309 between us, but I'm hoping this gift-- 61 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,103 Yeah, yeah, yeah, hand over the goodies, 62 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,229 poetry boy. 63 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,398 It's a phone with giant numbers! 64 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,734 A phone? Who am I calling? 65 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:34,154 All my friends are dead, and I can handle crimes myself. 66 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,864 I put my number on speed dial. 67 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,407 You can call me, and maybe we can 68 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,743 finally start rebuilding our relationship? 69 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,204 Hello? 70 00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:44,330 Did you get a gift receipt? 71 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,583 Hey, why don't we order food 72 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:47,917 and eat it as quickly as possible 73 00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,377 so we can leave? 74 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:52,172 Ooh, I see what I want. 75 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,217 Everyone's so touchy these days. 76 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,303 George Bush Sr. did that all the time, 77 00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,721 and everyone loved him. 78 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,265 Is the party over? Where's my gift bag? 79 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,725 No, no, I knew your grandfather 80 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,352 would do something horrendous, 81 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,811 so I have a cake at home. 82 00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:09,814 Oh, quite a little woman you got there, Jackie. 83 00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:12,650 Well, if you approve of her, you approve of me. 84 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:13,902 Never said that. 85 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,237 Put cake in my mouth, not words. 86 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:18,239 This is who you want to impress? 87 00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:20,367 Hey, Dad, see that bail bond place? 88 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,619 I fixed the plumbing there the other day. 89 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:23,995 Pretty cool, huh? 90 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:26,289 He's asleep, Jack. 91 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,627 Thank you, Mr. President. 92 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,213 I've never laid eggs in a head... 93 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,298 of state. 94 00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:37,258 Female president! 95 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:40,095 What the hell, Duncan? 96 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,639 Wha--Wolf! You trashed my house! 97 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,183 That's it, man. Friendship's over. 98 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,936 - Sick study group. - Learned a ton. 99 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,854 - Happy b-day, Dick. - Get a haircut. 100 00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:53,316 Is that the filthy NC-17 lizard sex movie 101 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,901 Congress warned me about? 102 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,903 That movie costs, like, $30 to order. 103 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,697 He must have stolen your credit card PIN, Dad. 104 00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,490 That's probably how he got those pizzas too. 105 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,866 Kick him out, and give me his room. 106 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,159 She's lying, Dad. 107 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,286 She's had it out for me since she was born. 108 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:08,665 So if I check my credit card right now on this phone, 109 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,542 I won't see any of those charges? 110 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,710 Absolutely not. 111 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,629 $140! 112 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,715 Fine, I stole from you and lied 113 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:18,550 but only because you don't trust me. 114 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,844 That's it, up to your room, and go to bed around, 115 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,512 uh, 11:00-ish. 116 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,888 Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. 117 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:26,057 - I love you. - Oh, for crying out loud! 118 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,726 You call that putting your foot down? 119 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:31,896 Gonna throw up the steaks I had for breakfast and lunch. 120 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,735 Dad, wait, I can do better! 121 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,194 That was pathetic. 122 00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:41,322 Anytime you gave me guff, I grabbed you by the shirt 123 00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:44,909 and screamed in your face, "My roof, my rules!" 124 00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:48,830 But you're too patient and understanding. 125 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,124 Apparently, you're not done breastfeeding. 126 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,709 It's humiliating. 127 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,253 My senior trolley's here. 128 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,090 Doesn't this thing go any faster? 129 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,430 You used my credit card, trashed the place, 130 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,890 and ruined big hug, "Love you" night 131 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,058 with my horrible father. 132 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,226 I was gonna pay you back if I got caught. 133 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,312 Too little, too late. You're cut off. 134 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,772 Don't ask me for one penny. 135 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,023 You can't do that! 136 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:18,026 The hell I can't! My roof, my rules! 137 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,486 Now, go to your room, slam the door, 138 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,945 and say, "I hate you!" 139 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,947 You can't tell me what to do. 140 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:27,035 I love you. Ha! 141 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:30,997 Dude, why are you making hobo lemonade? 142 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,540 My dad cut me off. 143 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,668 Can I have some of your French Stewart fries? 144 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,878 Sorry, I'm out. 145 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:40,131 Fine, I'll just lick salt and ketchup off my palms. 146 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,510 You gotta get some money, or I'm gonna puke. 147 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,970 Just get a job like the rest of us. 148 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,305 You all have jobs? 149 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,307 Is that where you are when I can't find you? 150 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,184 Yeah, Mia's at Papa Mom's, 151 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,477 Yangzi's at Teen Zone, 152 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,604 I work at the pet store, and Wolf-- 153 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,064 Wait, what is it you do again? 154 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,274 My stepdad and I paint people's house numbers on the curb 155 00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,734 and threaten them if they don't pay. 156 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:02,904 Money is power, D. You want your dad's respect. 157 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,239 Not really. 158 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,740 All right, you wanna be able to buy some fries. 159 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,575 More than anything in the world. 160 00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,536 Then get a job and grab that power. 161 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,330 And the world will be yours. 162 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,498 Where'd you get that? 163 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,001 The pet store pays me in hamsters. 164 00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,836 Keep the change. 165 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,839 Hmm? 166 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,218 Whoa, that's what John Wick used to kill those guys. 167 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,053 I want that job. 168 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:30,306 So, Duncan, do you have any knowledge of hardware, 169 00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:32,934 and do you enjoy talking to people? 170 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,269 Are you gonna interview me 171 00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,937 or just ask a bunch of questions? 172 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,773 I like him. What do you think, Fish Sticks? 173 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:42,527 Well, I'm hiring him anyway. 174 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:43,737 Thanks, Hal. 175 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,280 I'll earn your trust, Fish Sticks. 176 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,174 Hmm? 177 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,927 Well, you didn't steal from me, 178 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,554 and you didn't start a fire. 179 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:11,473 - You earned this. - Ooh! Ah, ah, ooh! 180 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,225 We're all yours, Duncan, 181 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,728 and your dad can't do anything about it. 182 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,646 Thanks, Quaker Oats guy. 183 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,111 I gotta say, I'm pretty disappointed 184 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,739 in Reptilia 2: Headless in Seattle. 185 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:30,367 Yeah, the franchise kind of lost the thread. 186 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,327 Too much love story. 187 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,703 I never thought I could settle 188 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,580 for one man's head hole, 189 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,415 but here I am. 190 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:40,835 Reptilia, I-- I took the job in Los Angeles. 191 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,672 Ahh! 192 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:44,964 I'll have what she's having-- 193 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,424 a dismembered penis. 194 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,843 Yas, queen! 195 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,180 Unbelievable, Duncan! Again? 196 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,807 How'd you figure out my PIN? 197 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:57,185 Chill, Dad, Reptilia 2 is exclusive to Hulu, 198 00:07:57,185 --> 00:08:00,271 which I paid for myself, along with these pizzas, 199 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,065 and I didn't ask you for one penny. 200 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,983 Buh, buh, buh! What about this mess? 201 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,402 It's all good, Pops. 202 00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:08,446 I hired the classiest cleaning service in Oakdale. 203 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,075 Sir, would it have killed 204 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,202 your friends to take their shoes off? 205 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,370 Hush, Jingy. 206 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,538 Serve those garlic knots 207 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,373 before I give you a knot in the 'ead. 208 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,209 Have a slice and watch a movie, 209 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,961 fellow working stiffs. 210 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:25,714 My treat. I got a job at Hal's Hardware. 211 00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,257 - Mmm! - Wow! 212 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:30,093 Look at our son, contributing to the family. 213 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,303 Wow, "My roof, my rules" actually worked. 214 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:35,223 I'm so proud of me and you, Duncan. 215 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,434 Stuffed crust? 216 00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:40,770 Nicely done, our gainfully employed son! 217 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,814 Oh, Dunkie, you might not live 218 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,816 with us forever after all. 219 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,526 Sandwich kiss! 220 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,819 Mwah! 221 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:51,156 So... can we hit play? 222 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:55,160 Absolutely! We'll all watch as an unlikely family. 223 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:59,622 Okay, screeching lizard sex. Turn it off and go home. 224 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,254 Oh! 225 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,673 Jack, look what Mr. Responsibility 226 00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,258 bought us for breakfast-- 227 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,177 a chocolate fountain. 228 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,386 Grab a skewer, Dad. 229 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,805 Take your scrambled eggs for a dip. 230 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,266 Delicious! You know what else tastes good? 231 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,060 Having a third income. 232 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,312 Yeah, we don't have to work overtime anymore. 233 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,981 We finally have work-life balance, 234 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:27,317 like those Nordic countries always blabber about. 235 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,194 Maybe I'll come by the hardware store today 236 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,571 and do myself the honor of having my son sell me 237 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,490 some drain de-sludger. 238 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,908 I'd like that. 239 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,869 I'm divin' for strawberries, I am. 240 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,622 Jingy, you daft tosser, two more minutes, 241 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:41,956 and up to clean Duncan's quarters. 242 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:44,501 He's not paying us to swim in sweets. 243 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:48,171 I taste top-notch, I do. 244 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,884 Dad, wait until you approve of what I turned Duncan into. 245 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,220 You are gonna approve in your pants. 246 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,013 I thought you were taking me to the doctor. 247 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,599 Next stop, next stop. Duncan got a job. 248 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,768 Thought we might pop in and say hello. 249 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,104 Doctor said he had some urgent news 250 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,772 about my test results. 251 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:08,274 Said he legally had to tell me in person. 252 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,235 We'll get there. 253 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,654 Hey, D, you wanna grab a beer after work today? 254 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:15,115 Yeah, I do, but we can't. 255 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,950 Someday. 256 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,661 There he is, Joe Lunchpail. 257 00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:21,663 Oh, hey, Dad, got your de-sludger. 258 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:24,249 Mmm, pumpkin spice. 259 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,583 How do you like that? Told my son 260 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:26,876 to do something, and he did it. 261 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,044 How do you approve me now? 262 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,379 Hmm, more so. 263 00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,297 Go on, take him for a spin. 264 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,424 All right. 265 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,967 Make me a key, Red. 266 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,761 Sorry, I haven't been trained on the key machine yet. 267 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,722 But I can tell you seven ways you don't know 268 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,765 you're harassing women in the workplace. 269 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,809 I know all the ways I'm harassing women. 270 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,269 Just make the damn key. 271 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,520 Dad, let me handle this. 272 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,939 Duncan, impress my father and make the damn key. 273 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,190 What's your deal? 274 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,026 Last night, you were sandwich kissing me. 275 00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,111 I'm putting my foot down, that's my deal. 276 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,447 - Now, go make that key. - Well-- 277 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,533 What the hell's a sandwich kiss? 278 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,327 It's a little trick I use to keep him in line. 279 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,620 Pretty approvable, right? 280 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,751 Ow! Father, your key. 281 00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:10,712 Wow, you showed your son who's in charge. 282 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,630 Approval accomplished. 283 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:15,717 My roof, my rules, right? 284 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,304 Ah, yeah. 285 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,723 I can't believe he came to my place of part-time work 286 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:24,309 and humiliated me in front of Fish Sticks. 287 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:29,064 Damn, Duncan, your dad's turned into a real Dick Jr. 288 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:31,483 I thought he was proud of me, but all he wants to do 289 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:34,486 is boss me around and brag about his roof. 290 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:35,653 Duncan, look around. 291 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:36,738 You are surrounded by shingles 292 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,406 and strapped with an employee discount. 293 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,909 Out-roof that man, and it's your rules. 294 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:43,703 Damn, you're good. Let me buy you a beer. 295 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,872 Someday. 296 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,627 Hi, I'm Guy Fieri, 297 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,879 and this is Guy Fieri's Dumpster Dive. 298 00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,674 The great thing about eating from a hospital dumpster 299 00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:58,551 is that sometimes they hide meds in the pudding. 300 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:03,723 Oh, holy moly, stromboli, E. coli! 301 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,975 That's what I call loaded pudding. 302 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,644 Mommy, can we do that? 303 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:10,897 No, Guy is a professional human garbage disposal. 304 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,400 He just makes grossness look fun. 305 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,151 He's sweating a lot. 306 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,821 Hey, there's our workingman. 307 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:21,157 Ugh. Hey, Mom. Nice to see you. 308 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,076 Hmm. 309 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:28,873 Hey! Guy Fieri was just stumbling into the ER. 310 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,792 Quiet, baby Yoda's talking. 311 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,545 Awww! 312 00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:37,340 Nice try, Duncan, but my roof, my rules. 313 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,675 Yeah, about that. 314 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,218 You know that bad patch of roof 315 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,511 over your bathroom? 316 00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,513 While you guys were out, I replaced it. 317 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,348 Huh? 318 00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,267 Oh, Dunkie, thank you. 319 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,770 I am so tired of bats leering at me while I'm in the tub. 320 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:54,190 So now it's my roof, my rules. 321 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,109 That's not how roof rules work. 322 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,319 Remember, you're proud of your son, 323 00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,363 and it's just one TV show. 324 00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:03,199 Okay, okay. Good one, Duncan. 325 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,368 I'm fine watching The Mandalorian with you. 326 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:06,745 Is your room clean? 327 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:08,705 What? Of course it is. 328 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,248 Really? 329 00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:13,335 So if I go up there right now, I'm not gonna see 330 00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,046 your dirty plumber clothes on the floor? 331 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:20,383 Oh, you're lucky I'm dying to see The Mandalorian. 332 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,885 That's what I thought. 333 00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,887 So Duncan's in charge now? 334 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,306 Holy moly, stromboli! 335 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,808 Stupid mattress. 336 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,227 Stupid Duncan, paying to fix the roof, 337 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:33,563 using my words against me. 338 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,733 Oh! Oh! Hey! 339 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,071 Oh, Jack. 340 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:44,407 If you thought baby Yoda was trouble, this season, 341 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:48,745 they've got a toddler Chewbacca who is a handful. 342 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,206 It's not fair, Annie. 343 00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:52,624 He doesn't get to boss me around 344 00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,834 just 'cause he put some shingles on the roof. 345 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,170 It's just a natural rite of passage when the child 346 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,923 tests the boundaries of the father-son power dynamic. 347 00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,175 I read all about it in this great parenting book 348 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,427 by a socialite mom with four nannies. 349 00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:06,971 Hey, bud, I know I came down a little hard on you, 350 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,515 but nice work. 351 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,891 Thank you, Duncan. 352 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,768 That's very generous of you. 353 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,561 In fact, why don't you take the trash out 354 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:14,688 and call it a night? 355 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,606 I already did. 356 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:19,359 So if I go into that kitchen right now-- 357 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,485 Annie! 358 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:23,154 Feeling his oats, Jack. Calm down. 359 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,198 And that trash really does need to go out. 360 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,366 It's disgusting. 361 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,828 It's not fair! 362 00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:31,830 Well, life ain't fair! 363 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,583 Hey, Duncan, could you please move? 364 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,710 You're in my space. 365 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,044 It's my space now. 366 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,254 You can park under that tree 367 00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:40,672 full of diarrhea birds. 368 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,676 Oh, you gotta be-- you gotta be kidding me. 369 00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:55,437 Hey! 370 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,355 I just got home from work. 371 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,982 Can I have five minutes of peace and quiet 372 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:01,401 while I drink my Dew? 373 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,778 By the way, hair's looking a little shaggy 374 00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:06,114 in the back, Poetry Boy. 375 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,907 Whoa, whoa. 376 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,409 You're doing great, honey. 377 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,537 Building a confident young man. 378 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,414 Jack, come here. 379 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,790 What do you need, my man? 380 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:18,585 Oh! Duncan, come on. 381 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,170 Get me some toilet paper. 382 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,172 Get your own toilet paper. 383 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:24,215 Really? You want me to stand up 384 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:26,718 and get doo-doo all over the house? 385 00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,470 I'm shutting this door. 386 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:30,013 Hold on, mister. 387 00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,639 The rotisserie chicken in the fridge, 388 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,516 did you really not see my name on it? 389 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,352 Two words: military school! 390 00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:41,608 I can't take it anymore. 391 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,151 He's not becoming a young man. 392 00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,903 He's becoming an old bastard. 393 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,489 Well, let's see, Binky says he'll go too far, 394 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,074 but then he'll recalibrate 395 00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:52,327 and a new, beautiful family structure will emerge. 396 00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:53,912 We have to trust Binky. 397 00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:55,997 Dad, I had a lot of time to think on the can, 398 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,916 and I know I've been pushing you lately. 399 00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:00,043 We need to do something different. 400 00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:03,380 You mean like the emergence of a new family structure? 401 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:04,923 Sure, yeah. So anyway, 402 00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,716 I'm sleeping in your bed tonight. 403 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,259 You guys go sleep wherever. 404 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,386 Not my room, though. 405 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:10,720 What? 406 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,305 I work and go to school. 407 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,807 You guys just work. 408 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,600 My money puts a roof over your head, 409 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,352 rotisserie chicken in your mouths, 410 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:19,521 and ad-free Hulu in your face. 411 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:22,941 It is my roof-given right to sleep in your bed 412 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:26,069 and enjoy cooling memory gel at least twice a week. 413 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,114 Anyway, you guys get your stuff together, 414 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,741 I'm gonna blast my butt with your hand shower. 415 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,660 Okay, before you say anything, 416 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,245 I'm just gonna skip to the end of the book. 417 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,330 Okay. Ooh, there's a supplement! 418 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,498 Her son wrote it. 419 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,041 From jail. 420 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,292 Oh, my God, he killed her. 421 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,544 And they made a Lifetime movie about it 422 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:43,878 with Kaley Cuococo. 423 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,673 Jack, you've let your son do whatever he wants for too long. 424 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:47,924 Take control! 425 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,178 Ah, butt blasted. 426 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,264 ♪ I'm a workingman ♪ 427 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:57,183 ♪ With a big old bed and I can... ♪ 428 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,811 We're taking back control of the house. 429 00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,271 Duncan, go to your room. 430 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:02,772 This is my room. 431 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:05,066 That's it, Duncan. You're grounded. 432 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,735 Oh, yeah? Then I'm canceling 433 00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:08,820 all the streaming services I pay for. 434 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:12,073 Wha--but The Mandalorian finale is next week. 435 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,534 Binky's right, Jack. Let him do what he wants. 436 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,578 Binky's dead, Annie! 437 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,163 I pay for things too, Duncan. 438 00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:20,206 I'll shut off the electricity. 439 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,168 Your precious toast just turned to bread. 440 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:26,087 I already got a generator at Hal's with my discount. 441 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:29,591 Jingy, Kimberly, fetch me my diesel. 442 00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:32,510 Crikey, that's heavy. 443 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,262 That's it. I always swore 444 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,598 I'd never use my dad's favorite threat, but... 445 00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:38,725 I brought you into this world, 446 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,810 and I can take you out. 447 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,313 Hello, Child Protective Services. 448 00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,940 Yeah, my dad just threatened to kill me. 449 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,233 Sure, I'll hold. 450 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,985 You didn't really call 'em. 451 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,570 If your dad brought you into this world 452 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,114 and threatened to take you out, press one. 453 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,574 He's not bluffing, Jack. 454 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,118 I don't care! I'm taking my roof back! 455 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,582 Over my freshly blasted butt! 456 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,543 Duncan and Dad are gonna fight on the roof. 457 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,545 Roof fight, yay! 458 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:10,507 I never thought I'd have to make this call. 459 00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:14,094 Your nickel, start talking. 460 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,428 Holy hell. 461 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,347 Okay, I'm catching the next senior trolley. 462 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:18,848 Be there in four hours. 463 00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:21,601 - Mr. Harris, your pants! - No time! 464 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,812 You shouldn't have stolen from me! 465 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,564 You should've let me entertain! 466 00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:32,320 You shouldn't have made me watch you poop! 467 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,407 You're the one who didn't close your eyes, perv. 468 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:41,079 You guys wanna see my son and grandson in a fight? 469 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,915 Jack, did you try, "I brought you into this world"? 470 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,584 Yes! That's how we wound up here! 471 00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:49,212 How about, "I'll give you something to cry about"? 472 00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:52,340 Oh, "How'd you like a knuckle sandwich?" 473 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:55,260 "I'll knock you into the middle of next week"? 474 00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,012 That always kept me in line. 475 00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:58,722 That's it. 476 00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,598 I'm going up there and wipe that smile 477 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,100 off both your faces. 478 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,727 Ladies, enrage me. 479 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:06,646 - Give me old-man strength. - Okay. 480 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,565 Everyone should get to vote. 481 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,067 Open the borders! 482 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,777 Love is love! 483 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,487 Green New Deal. 484 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,619 Wow, look at that old boomer go. 485 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:24,622 Really wish he had put on pants. 486 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:28,293 What the hell has gotten into you two? 487 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:30,503 Oh, Dad, I tried to be like you 488 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,672 to get your approval, but it just ended up 489 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,800 making my son hate me, and I don't want that. 490 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,052 I don't hate you. 491 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:38,470 I just wanted to see how it feels 492 00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:40,722 to be the man of the house like you are. 493 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,641 You see me as the man of the house? 494 00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,060 Once in a while, yeah. 495 00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:47,479 Oh. Bring it in. 496 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,647 Well, the important thing is, 497 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,232 you two wanted to kill each other, 498 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:54,235 and that's a father-son relationship I can respect. 499 00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,487 Here it comes, 500 00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:57,489 the big hug, "Love you, son." 501 00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:59,324 Stop making it weird. 502 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:00,909 My balls are cold. 503 00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:02,285 Close enough. 504 00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:06,539 Wow, Grandpa. 505 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,249 Those are cold. 506 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,586 What a beautiful night. 507 00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,922 Ah, just think, somewhere out there, 508 00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:17,175 the Mandalorian hunts for his next meal. 509 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,677 This is actually kinda nice. 510 00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:20,387 I'm glad Duncan and Dad lost their minds. 511 00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:22,931 Oh, I love seeing the sky. 512 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,183 Will you fall through the roof in my bedroom? 513 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:27,686 Sure, Jingy. Whatever you want. 514 00:20:27,686 --> 00:20:29,771 Well, I'm not going up there again to fix it. 515 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,773 Jack, hand me some toilet paper. 516 00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,692 I'll take care of it. 517 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:42,075 Aw, three generations of Harris men 518 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,119 rolling up their sleeves, fixing a roof, 519 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,580 and illegally dumping tiles behind a CVS. 520 00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,458 Ow! 521 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:52,043 Guy Fieri? 522 00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:53,628 You're a Guy guy too, Dad? 523 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,380 Hell yeah, the TV at the home 524 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,007 is stuck on the Food Channel. 525 00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:59,634 Uh, you filming a new episode, Guy? 526 00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:02,387 {\an8}Yeah, CVS dumpsters are top-notch, baby. 527 00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,681 {\an8}These peanut butter crackers pair nicely 528 00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:06,474 {\an8}with this expired cough syrup. 529 00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,643 {\an8}Mmm. 530 00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:10,895 {\an8}Dad, I don't see any cameras. 531 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,690 {\an8}Holy moly, stromboli, Angelina Jolie! 532 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,692 {\an8}Look at the size of this receipt! 533 00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:21,031 {\an8}Keep smiling, and get in the truck. 534 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,578 {\an8}He's weird as hell, but it was still cool to meet him. 535 00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:30,290 {\an8}Flavortown! 536 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,839 Captioned by Captionmax 38493

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