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1
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Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
2
00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:07,340
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
3
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,344
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
4
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,849
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
5
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,436
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
6
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,106
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
7
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,861
Mommy!
8
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{\an8}- Duncan!
- Duncan!
9
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,786
Stupid hair. Tame, you damn beast!
10
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,580
{\an8} Nice.
11
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:43,126
Mom, I told you to pick up your stuff.
12
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,377
{\an8}Sorry, sorry.
13
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,049
{\an8}I'm stuff!
14
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,217
{\an8}Mia will be here in 13 minutes.
15
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:55,055
{\an8}It's her first time coming over and I just
want the evening to be dope as hell.
16
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,223
{\an8}Is that so much to ask? Dope as hell?
17
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,225
{\an8}Ooh, somebody's nervous.
18
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,645
{\an8}Of course I'm nervous! This is
the only woman I've ever had a crush on.
19
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:04,356
{\an8}What about Mrs. Claus?
20
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:05,690
{\an8}I was six.
21
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:09,569
{\an8}Why do you care so much about Mia?
So she's got a nose ring. Big whoop.
22
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:13,239
{\an8}She's nice, she's smart,
she's got a nose ring.
23
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,658
{\an8}I don't know!
I just need everything to be perfect.
24
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:20,538
{\an8}Guess who fell into a septic tank?
25
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,962
{\an8}Baby alligator!
26
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:31,132
Oh, she's here.
27
00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:33,093
{\an8}Hurry, Jack, shake yourself dry.
28
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{\an8}Good boy.
29
00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:42,185
Oh, Mia. Forgot you were coming over.
30
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,854
No, no, I'm just kidding.
Please don't leave.
31
00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:48,274
Hey, Duncan. My parents said to give this
to your parents for having me over.
32
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,735
I think they just wanted
to prove they own wine.
33
00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:54,864
Uh, make yourself at my home
in the house where I live.
34
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,243
Oh, someone has a crush on Santa's wife.
35
00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,786
She meant nothing.
36
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:04,416
So, Mia, Duncan tells me you move a lot.
What are you hiding from?
37
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,334
Have I ever done anything to you?
38
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:08,753
Duncan's an amazing person!
39
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:11,756
And if you hurt him,
you'll have me to deal with.
40
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:14,968
- I'm just here to watch a movie.
- Yeah.
41
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,346
Maybe I won't freeze my eggs.
42
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:22,726
I heated pizza rolls.
Take your pick, ice cold or scalding hot.
43
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:23,935
Try one, Mia.
44
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,771
They're like little egg rolls
with pizza inside.
45
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,189
Yes, I've had them before.
46
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,524
Have you?
47
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:32,193
Oh, Dunkie, I like this one.
48
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:35,488
So for anyone who's not caught up
in the Teen Housewives cinematic universe,
49
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,657
Brandon is married to Braeyln,
who's dating Tylan,
50
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,744
who used to be married to Brendell,
and Tamden hates this.
51
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:44,330
And tonight we find out
which grandma's gonna raise the baby.
52
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,708
My money's on Grandma Debbie.
53
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,960
Oh, my God!
54
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,714
And without further ado,
I give you Teen Housewives: The Movie.
55
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,299
Grandma Debbie, Grandma Brittany,
56
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:57,761
Step-Grandma Lindsey P.,
Step-Grandma Lindsey C.
57
00:02:57,761 --> 00:03:01,181
Tonight, one of you will be chosen
to do what you said you never would.
58
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,600
Raise my baby.
59
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,976
{\an8}I hate this.
60
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,812
It's so exciting.
They're all equally unfit.
61
00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:12,317
The person who will be raising my
and Tylan's baby is...
62
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,612
Are you tired of walking
on hardwood floors?
63
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:16,529
Ow!
64
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:19,699
Or c-c-c-cold tile?
65
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,368
What's happening?
66
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,119
Where did movie go?
67
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,538
Calm down, kids, it's just a commercial.
68
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:29,417
They either have to run these
or do subtle product placement.
69
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:32,629
Ah, the San Francisco treat.
70
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,340
It's Disney+.
There's not supposed to be commercials.
71
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,885
Actually, I got us the ad-supported model,
Disney Minus.
72
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:39,969
It's cheaper.
73
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,806
Ugh, Mia,
I'm so sorry you had to see this.
74
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,432
Then get on Route 17
75
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:48,561
and get to Oakdale's
leading carpet dealer, the Ruglord.
76
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:52,524
Say hello to my little prices.
77
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,654
This guy is so lame.
78
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,031
He doesn't make me wanna buy
a carpet at all.
79
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,950
Actually, I deliver pizzas to him.
80
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,201
He's super rich.
81
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,495
We get pizza and we're not super rich.
82
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:09,416
Do you get cinnamon sticks
and a side of frosting?
83
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,001
Whoa!
84
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,210
Frosting?
85
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,838
Dad, why can't we be rich
like the Ruglord?
86
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,756
I bet he has Disney+.
87
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,717
We're doing just fine, Duncan.
88
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,885
Mia, the plumbing business is cyclical.
89
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,513
That's okay, Mr. Harris,
you don't have to explain to me.
90
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,681
I feel like I do.
91
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:27,267
If you're gonna marry Duncan,
you need to know
92
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:31,062
he's not a wealthy boy pretending
to be poor to see if you really love him.
93
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,981
Again, just here to watch a movie.
94
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:35,316
Dad, if you did a commercial
like the Ruglord,
95
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,777
you'd be rich
and our lives would change forever.
96
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,530
Duncan, your father works his butt off
for this family,
97
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:44,075
and yes, it doesn't add up
to money and things,
98
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:45,910
but there's a lot
of ways people can be rich.
99
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,245
Don't you agree, Mia?
100
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:48,538
Oh, I'm still a part of this?
101
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:52,334
Sure, yeah, uh, you could be rich
in family and in health.
102
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,170
But the Ruglord's house has
a bowling alley!
103
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,630
I'm not normally impressed
by shallow extravagance,
104
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:01,551
but bowling from the comfort
of your own home?
105
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:06,348
Dad, please make a lame-ass commercial.
I'll even help you.
106
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:09,726
- You'd do that for me, son?
- Sure, just for you, nobody else.
107
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:12,270
I don't know. Commercial acting is hard.
108
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,023
GEICO's gone through so many geckos.
109
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:18,860
First, you get the carpet pad,
then you get the carpet.
110
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,529
Then you get the warranty.
111
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:25,200
On the other hand, it would be fun
to sit in a bathtub full of rugs.
112
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,289
Jack, I don't wanna say,
"My bridge club is coming over."
113
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,667
Can't I be a more contemporary woman?
114
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:37,337
I've been living with these characters
since I wrote the script over breakfast.
115
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,172
You've got to trust me.
116
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,883
Settle, everyone.
You paid for five minutes of studio time,
117
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,969
and by the time I'm done saying this
it'll be four. Places and action.
118
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:51,518
Oh, no! My bridge club is coming over,
and my toilet won't flush.
119
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:55,230
That's because you called
those other guys.
120
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,356
{\an8}Glug, glug, glug.
121
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,817
{\an8}Did you try plugging it in?
122
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:01,778
{\an8}I am drunk, and you're paying for it.
123
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:07,951
Step aside, traditional homemaker,
and let Cap'n Clog save the day!
124
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:11,871
This looks like the work of the Gunkwad.
125
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,457
Not the Gunkwad!
126
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,377
- Yeah, I'm not doing this.
- Cut!
127
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,005
- Why not?
- I'm a piece of poop.
128
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,339
You're not poop, honey.
129
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:26,136
You're an amalgamation of all the gunk
that wads in people's pipes.
130
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:29,639
Hair, keys, goldfish, criminal evidence,
131
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,934
and those little belly button nubs
that fall off newborns.
132
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:35,186
All stuck to a giant piece of poop.
133
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:37,564
Ninety seconds and I've got Rudy
the Rat Killer coming in.
134
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,648
Let's go. Come on.
135
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:41,526
Red leather, yellow leather.
Red leather, yellow leather.
136
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:45,530
Duncan, this was your idea because
your night with Mia wasn't "dope as hell."
137
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,198
Do you want me to be more successful?
138
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:50,493
Or we can just go back to living our happy
and humble life.
139
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,912
Welcome home, Mrs. Harris.
140
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:56,041
We're living in the camper?
Where do we shower?
141
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,959
Oh, we just use the watering can.
142
00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:01,504
- It's not so bad once you get used to it.
- I will never get used to this.
143
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:02,714
I'm leaving you, Duncan.
144
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:06,885
The Ruglord has a teenage son,
and he invited me house bowling.
145
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:12,015
Why didn't I do Dad's commercial?
146
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:15,268
All right, now turn over
so I can wash your butts.
147
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,854
Um, may I be excused from this fantasy?
148
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,441
Let's film a local commercial.
149
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,569
Not the Gunkwad!
150
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,405
Cap'n Clog, nice to see poo.
151
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:30,158
Gunkwad, we meet again.
152
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,743
In the flush.
153
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,078
Hi-yah!
154
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:37,457
Ooh, curse you, Clog,
and your reasonable prices.
155
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:43,088
How can I ever repay you, Cap'n?
156
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,631
Venmo.
157
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:49,469
That is the best thing we have ever done
as a family.
158
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,054
So, when do we start getting rich?
159
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,681
You gotta be patient, son.
160
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,641
A good ad campaign takes a long--
161
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,977
Harris Plumbing.
Yes, I'm the guy that defeated Gunkwad.
162
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,813
Of course, I can fit you in tomorrow.
163
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,106
That depends,
164
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,858
is your garbage disposal making a...
165
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,569
Or a...
166
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,322
Oh, Oscar. The whole can?
167
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,116
No wonder you're a grouch.
168
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,867
How's two o'clock?
169
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,540
Oh, yeah, that's it.
170
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:21,292
Put me on the naughty list, Mrs. Claus. Oh.
171
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,044
Time for work, Gunkwad!
172
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:27,465
Wha-- Work? But we had a deal.
You make the money, and I spend it.
173
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:30,427
Everyone loves your commercial
and is goo-goo for Gunkwad.
174
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:31,553
They all want to meet him.
175
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,430
You're not only the face
of this company now,
176
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:36,808
you're my son and my partner,
and I could not be more proud.
177
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:40,520
- Now go put on your poop suit.
- It's an amalgamation.
178
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,731
Sure it is, honey. Sure it is.
179
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,276
I've told Mavis a thousand times,
180
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,654
"Don't drink out of the toilet, or one
of these days, you're gonna get stuck."
181
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,947
And here we are.
182
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:56,494
No problem, just gotta grease her up
and pop her out. Stand back!
183
00:08:56,494 --> 00:09:00,081
Wow, I can't believe Gunkwad is
in my apartment. Can I get a picture?
184
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:02,667
Why? You see me every day at school.
185
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,170
This is different.
You're a mascot on TV now.
186
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:09,215
Like Gritty or the Noid
or the Pillsbury Doughboy.
187
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,300
He's so happy.
188
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,596
Well, I think she learned her lesson.
189
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,517
Oh, man! Can I make another appointment?
190
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:25,273
- Here's your problem, Octavia.
- However did they get in there?
191
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,526
She put 'em in there on purpose
so she could meet Gunkwad.
192
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:32,822
She hasn't been this into somebody
since Richard Simmons went missing.
193
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:36,117
I know he's out there somewhere.
194
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,287
Okay, Mayor Jen, bathroom's all set.
195
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:42,082
And in the future,
I would not flush that many ballots.
196
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:45,919
Well, you and the Turdinator
here are really taking the town by storm.
197
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,671
- Gunkwad.
- I'm speaking.
198
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:52,717
Jack, I want you and your mascot
to service all Oakdale property,
199
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:56,888
including the Hundred Yard Trough
at Oakdale Stadium.
200
00:09:56,888 --> 00:10:01,184
The Hundred Yard Trough?
We've had our best father-son pees there.
201
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,019
Work, work ♪
202
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,771
Diamonds all on my ring, player ♪
203
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,523
Gold watches, gold chain, player ♪
204
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,566
Hundred thou' on champagne, player ♪
205
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,151
Yeah my money insane, player ♪
206
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:11,653
Yeah, I'm making it rain, player ♪
207
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,321
But I was just on the plane, player ♪
208
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,073
Buying gear, flying here ♪
209
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,158
♪ It ain't what you heard
It's my time of year ♪
210
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:20,829
♪ The bigger the bill
The harder you ball ♪
211
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:24,165
♪ Well, I'm throwing mine
'Cause my money long ♪
212
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:27,419
♪ The quicker you here
The faster you go ♪
213
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:30,213
♪ That's why where I come from
The only thing we know is ♪
214
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:36,886
- Work hard, play hard ♪
- Work, work ♪
215
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,431
- Work hard, play hard ♪
- Work, work, uh ♪
216
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,224
The toilet boys are back.
217
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:44,769
- And we've got presents.
- Yeah!
218
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,105
Presents again, Jack?
219
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:50,275
I don't know how you're gonna top
the one you got me yesterday.
220
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,403
I'm finally making big money now.
221
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,781
And this is how people with money say
"I love you." With things.
222
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,908
- I love you. I love you. I love you.
- Oh!
223
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,870
I didn't forget you, partner, son,
best friend.
224
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:04,622
It's beautiful.
225
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,417
Jack, I love that you're not afraid
to splurge,
226
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,420
but I think we should invest our money
in more practical things.
227
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:16,343
That's exactly what I was thinking
when I named your new boat!
228
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,637
I don't know, Jack,
I've always wanted to chop some wake.
229
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,014
But can we afford it?
230
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:24,142
They wouldn't have given me a loan
if I couldn't afford it.
231
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,518
Besides, we work hard.
232
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,103
We deserve nice boats.
233
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,396
I suppose.
234
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,190
Come on. I made dinner.
235
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,484
Successful people don't eat at home.
236
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:35,612
I'm taking you all to Mapplebee's.
237
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:38,073
- Mapplebee's?
- On a Saturday night?
238
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,949
But none of our coupons will work.
239
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:43,078
Oh, I'm tight with Big Travis,
the guy that works the door.
240
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,163
He's a huge Gunkwad fan.
241
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,540
And got us a table.
242
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,126
Daddy, can we take the boat
to Mapplebee's?
243
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,586
I don't see why not.
244
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,716
Thanks for asking me, Duncan.
245
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,177
When we hit that pothole,
and the water sprayed in my face,
246
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,970
it felt like we were really on the ocean.
247
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:04,140
And may I say,
you look absolutely "radishing" tonight.
248
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,393
You mispronounce the sweetest things.
249
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,690
Park this away from the riffraff.
250
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,066
But I am the riffraff.
251
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,150
Good for you.
252
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,195
You have to wear that?
253
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,948
It's this or wait in line
with all the other suckers.
254
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:23,034
Yo, Big Travis.
255
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,744
Gunk, looking good!
256
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,121
Feeling good.
257
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,081
One, two. Reverse. Okay.
258
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,207
Table's ready.
259
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,127
The popular girls.
260
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:34,546
Hi, Kimberly, can we sit with you?
261
00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,715
Sure. You let me sit with you at lunch--
262
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:40,301
Oh, wait, no, you don't.
Enjoy the patio in three hours.
263
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,220
Big Trav, you're letting them in?
264
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,639
Rashida Jones and I have been waiting
for an hour.
265
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:47,892
No disrespect, Amy Poehler,
but they're the new hotness.
266
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,769
It was a good commercial.
267
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,022
Remember when Gunkwad went down
the toilet?
268
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,523
Yes.
269
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,943
Yeah, that was classic. Okay, we'll wait.
270
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,781
Unlimited breadsticks?
271
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,784
Everywhere I've gone before,
they've been very strictly limited.
272
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,871
Get used to it, baby.
You're out with the Wad now.
273
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:11,332
Ooh, I've never gone past page 16 before.
274
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:15,962
Get used to it, baby.
You're out with the Wad now. Of cash.
275
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,173
I'll have a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich.
276
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,841
Would you like a side
of lobster with that?
277
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:22,260
Hell, yeah, I'm gonna get a side
of lobster with that.
278
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,305
I'm gonna get a full lobster.
Oh, and a side of lobster.
279
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,140
The lobster does look pretty fresh.
280
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,479
I'll get the Tex-Mex shrimp,
the official Tex-Mex shrimp of the NFL,
281
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,064
and a side of lobster.
282
00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,899
God, you are hot when you're hungry.
283
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,817
I know we hang out a lot, Duncan,
284
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,403
but this is kind of our first real date,
isn't it?
285
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:41,488
Yeah.
286
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,657
If you don't count that time you had
to carry me to the nurse's office.
287
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:48,244
I don't. You've been so busy
with all that Gunkwad stuff.
288
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,329
What's it been like?
289
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:52,582
Uh, I barely have time to shower,
which is awesome.
290
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:55,752
Same old Duncan.
Wanna share a rock-hard breadstick?
291
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,171
I've dreamed of you saying that to me.
292
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,924
- Mmm. [chuckles] Mmm.
- Mmm.
293
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:05,261
Gunkwad! Come do a pic with us.
294
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:09,349
Uh, I'm so sorry, Mia. I'll be right back.
This is the worst part of the job.
295
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,185
Wad Squad, what up?
296
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:17,107
So, nice picture, Jing,
but you colored the grass blue.
297
00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:18,525
They don't have a green.
298
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,486
If you combine the blue and the yellow,
you could make green.
299
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:24,489
If you think you're winning me over,
you're not.
300
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,785
Dang! That looks good.
301
00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:31,538
I like your nose ring.
302
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:35,667
I've always heard how good success feels,
but I never got it until now.
303
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:39,629
And nothing feels better than sharing
success with the people you love most.
304
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,715
Aw, Jack.
305
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,758
I love my clients the most!
306
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:47,345
Drinks and potato skins for everyone!
307
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:48,972
Yeah! All right!
308
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:54,436
♪ For he's a very rich plumber
And everyone loves Gunkwad ♪
309
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:56,438
Uh, could you cancel those?
310
00:14:56,438 --> 00:15:00,275
My husband is overestimating the business
drummed up by a local commercial.
311
00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:02,694
The gentleman wearing
the balloon hat said you would say that.
312
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:05,905
We're too big to fail, baby!
313
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,120
So I look at the clog, and I'm like,
314
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:16,416
"Forget a snake,
you need a frigging anaconda."
315
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:21,880
It's the third time he's told that story,
and I'm still not tired of it.
316
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,840
Gunkwad, dish some biz gossip.
317
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,634
Yes! Who's an on-set nightmare?
318
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:31,681
Well, I probably shouldn't trash-talk
other mascots, you know, but, uh...
319
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:32,766
We understand.
320
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,059
Okay, okay.
321
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:37,228
Tony the Tiger keeps yelling
how great his cereal is,
322
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,356
but you never see him eat it.
323
00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:40,732
- Ooh.
- Oh, my gosh. He's right.
324
00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:42,025
Did you hear that?
325
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:44,110
Tony don't even eat the damn cereal.
326
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,612
I heard him!
327
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,741
Oh, I've colored all the place mats.
328
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,618
My crayon is worn to a nub.
329
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:55,455
And I have surpassed the limit
on the unlimited breadsticks.
330
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:59,292
So, Mia, why don't we use this alone time
to get to know each other?
331
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,377
All right.
332
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,713
So, you give out parking tickets?
333
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:08,134
- Yep. And you're a good student?
- Yep.
334
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,598
Okay. I'm just gonna say
what everyone is thinking.
335
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,058
Duncan and Dad are dicks.
336
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,476
I wasn't thinking that.
337
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,020
Yeah, at least when
we were eating pizza rolls at your house,
338
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,480
Duncan was eating with me.
339
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,566
Come on.
Let's get the speedboat and go home.
340
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,403
Annie, where you going?
341
00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,279
The night is young!
342
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:31,408
The night isn't young, Jack. It's 7:30.
343
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:34,619
Besides, you're too busy blowing money
on people you don't even know.
344
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:39,165
We're working, Annie.
Everyone in here is a potential customer.
345
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,793
Yeah, Mom!
Do we look like we're having fun?
346
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:44,045
You're holding a limbo bar.
347
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:48,591
People want a plumber they feel
they can party with.
348
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:49,801
What about you, Mia?
349
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:52,679
I don't know.
You wanna stay and party with the Wad?
350
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:56,975
We could hold hands like we were about
to do before my fans whisked me away.
351
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,935
Sorry, Wad. I'm gonna go.
352
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:02,063
But thanks, I had a lovely first date
with your little sister.
353
00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:04,816
Good night, Jack.
354
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,735
Oh, for crying out--
355
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,782
You're pushing it, fella.
356
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:18,955
Mia's not responding to my texts.
I'm pouring my heart out here.
357
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:24,127
Don't worry. All will be forgiven
when this next commercial blows up.
358
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:27,047
You know how the song goes,
"Mo Money Less Problems."
359
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,674
Are you sure we haven't turned into jerks?
360
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,343
Absolutely not.
361
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,262
You saw me coming!
362
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:38,933
Say hello to my little prices!
363
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,560
And cut!
364
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,979
That's a wrap on Ruglord.
365
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,857
Whoa, Ruglord.
366
00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:49,069
Gunkwad! I am such a fan.
367
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,863
- And I am Cap'n Clog.
- Okay.
368
00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,782
Ruglord, can I ask you something?
369
00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:56,618
How do you balance work and relationships?
370
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:59,871
Also, how do you make it look like
the rug is firing bullets?
371
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,414
Oh, the rug is easy.
372
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,708
I have real machine gun inside of it.
373
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,252
But I fail miserably at relationships.
374
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:11,049
Being the Ruglord cost me my wife,
my girlfriend and my side piece.
375
00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:13,843
But you're famous and make so much money.
376
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,638
We've heard about the cinnamon sticks.
377
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:20,475
There are only so many cinnamon sticks
a man can eat alone.
378
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:25,146
Hey, are you guys doing anything tonight?
379
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,691
I have a bowling alley in my house.
380
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:30,568
We can type funny names in
like we're good friends.
381
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:33,113
- Oh, geez! Tonight? Sorry, man.
- Oh, geez. Tonight? Oh, shoot.
382
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,906
Gunkwad, Cap'n Clog, to the set.
383
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,324
Oh, thank God.
384
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:40,161
Looks like it's just you and me, Shaggy.
385
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:46,668
And the person I want
to raise my baby is Grandma Brittany.
386
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:49,754
I can't because I'm pregnant.
387
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:53,633
Oh, she wasn't throwing up from the vodka.
It was morning sickness.
388
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,970
- I shouldn't be watching this.
- Pause it, pause it, pause it.
389
00:18:56,970 --> 00:19:01,766
Annie, you gotta see our new commercial.
Gunkwad dies, or does he?
390
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:02,851
Sit, sit, sit.
391
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,855
Pizza for you.
392
00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:09,858
Oh. Would you mind putting it
on the coffee table?
393
00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:13,319
You're lucky it's policy that if you ask,
I have to.
394
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:22,871
Any last words, Gunkwad,
before I send you to Satan's toilet?
395
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,457
I just have one thing to say. Mia.
396
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:26,791
Hmm?
397
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:31,338
I got so caught up on playing a giant turd
on TV, I became one in real life.
398
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:34,466
I'm sorry.
All I wanted to do was impress you
399
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:37,635
and maybe get to hold your hand,
or you could hold my hand,
400
00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:39,471
or, I don't know,
anything with our hands--
401
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:42,223
But no, not that--
Can I do another take?
402
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,439
Mia's an amazing person.
403
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:52,484
And if you hurt her,
you'll have me to deal with.
404
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:55,195
And I just wanna go back
to the way things were,
405
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,946
with me barely providing for our family,
406
00:19:56,946 --> 00:20:00,116
and using our Mapplebee's coupons
on Tuesday nights.
407
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:03,661
Oh, Jackie, you financially reckless fool.
408
00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:07,999
Promise you'll never try
to impress me again, 'cause when you do,
409
00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,710
you do it in really weird
and off-putting ways.
410
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:14,422
Don't worry. My days as the Wad are over.
411
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,549
Goodbye, gross costume.
412
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:25,016
The fumes are having a...
...delightful effect.
413
00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:28,019
I don't think I should be inhaling this.
414
00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:31,940
Anybody else feeling like you don't give
a rat's ass about anything?
415
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:35,402
I sure don't care about that $3,000 bill
from Mapplebee's.
416
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:36,486
Mapplebee's.
417
00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:40,865
That's a funny name, isn't it?
Mapplebee's.
418
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,992
You guys are crazy. I don't feel anything.
419
00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:45,954
Which one of you is Duncan?
420
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,040
Kris, stop it! Nothing happened!
421
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,125
- Mary.
- Hmm?
422
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:52,002
You haven't aged a day.
423
00:20:57,716 --> 00:20:59,592
This is awesome.
424
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,345
{\an8}I can feel the wind in my cavities.
425
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:05,181
{\an8}Duncan, you are my boat friend--
Best friend.
426
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,017
{\an8}Nope I'm going back to boat friend.
427
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:09,185
{\an8}This baby really handles the chop.
428
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,271
Whoa. Why did we stop?
429
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:13,023
{\an8}End of the line.
430
00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:16,401
{\an8}Can't we just drive to Miami
and shoot a rap video?
431
00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:19,279
{\an8}Yeah, Mavis and I haven't used
our parasail yet.
432
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:23,033
{\an8}Sorry, I got better things to do
than drive a bunch of kids around.
433
00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:25,618
{\an8}You know, he used to be Gunkwad.
434
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,287
{\an8}Gunkwad? Hang on, kids.
435
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,872
{\an8}We're catching the freeway.
34972
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