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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,503
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
2
00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:07,340
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
3
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,344
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
4
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,849
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
5
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,436
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
6
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,106
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
7
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,861
Mommy!
8
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,654
{\an8}- Duncan!
- Duncan!
9
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:38,121
{\an8} Open, stupid locker!
10
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:41,791
{\an8}You still don't remember your combination?
I made up that song to help you.
11
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:44,669
{\an8}♪ Your locker combination is
One, two, three ♪
12
00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:47,088
{\an8}This is easier.
13
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:48,423
{\an8}Sup, Oakdale?
14
00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:51,009
{\an8}This is Mr. Mitch
with your morning announcements.
15
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:54,512
{\an8}Okay, the football team lost,
but the soccer team also lost.
16
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,806
{\an8}Erica P. broke up with Brian A...
17
00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:58,725
{\an8}-...but we all know that won't last.
- Mmm?
18
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:03,480
{\an8}Oh, and word is one of our students is
actually a 53-year-old narc.
19
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,232
I wonder to whom they could be referring?
20
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:10,653
And a big congratulations to Kazu Parks
for getting a shout-out from Slayer!
21
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:11,863
Yeah!
22
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,573
{\an8}A shout-out from Slayer?
23
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,283
{\an8}I do declare!
24
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:18,953
{\an8}Kazu? RollingBookBag Kazu got
a shout-out from Slayer?
25
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:21,956
{\an8}You're gonna say, "Are you kidding?"
But who's Slayer?
26
00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:25,543
{\an8}Are you kidding?
Slayer is the LeBron James of gaming.
27
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:27,671
{\an8}Do you know nothing
about American history?
28
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:29,881
{\an8}Slayer is a king or queen maker!
29
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:33,551
{\an8}And in honor of Kazu's shout-out,
I'm making this a snow day.
30
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:35,136
Everyone, go home!
31
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:36,221
Yeah!
32
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:39,599
This is the third time this week
he's canceled school.
33
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,768
Kazu! Kazu!
34
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:45,939
That's it. We either get a Slayer
shout-out, or we be happy for Kazu.
35
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:49,192
Did you hear about Kazu?
That is fire with a "y."
36
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:50,276
Beat it, narc.
37
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,616
Annie, kids, I did it!
38
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,452
I got Baltic Avenue
in the grocery-store Monopoly game!
39
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,747
Free pack of taco seasoning, here we come!
40
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,793
Ow!
41
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:10,714
Hmm, I should fix that nail
before somebody gets hurt.
42
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:14,884
Let's see, need a hammer, don't feel
like walking to the kitchen to get one.
43
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,219
This'll do.
44
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:19,389
Jack! That's our family photo album.
45
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,849
You mean the big coaster?
46
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,600
I use it as a Squatty Potty.
47
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,730
This is where we keep all of our treasured
family pictures from over the years.
48
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,940
It's my most-prized possession!
49
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,609
How do you zoom in?
50
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,361
How do you know
if your haters like it or not?
51
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:35,447
You kids have never seen photos?
52
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,032
Photos?
53
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:42,120
The family photo album is a visual history
of every important person in your life.
54
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,123
That's me with, um... Paulette?
55
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,833
Jack, is that-- Is that Paulette?
56
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:47,959
I don't know any Paulette.
57
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:50,378
She sang "Wind Beneath My Wings"
at our wedding.
58
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:51,379
If you say so.
59
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,715
So, big coaster has old photos
of you guys?
60
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:57,177
Yep! And I can't think of anything
more fun to do
61
00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:02,599
than learn about your parents
via the magic of chemically coated paper.
62
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:03,808
Gather round.
63
00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:05,977
Can't we go claim our free taco seasoning?
64
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,271
I've already called the manager.
They're holding it for us.
65
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:12,275
So screens off, eyes open, and, wow,
we have a lot of pictures of Paulette.
66
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,906
{\an8}Head shot! Head shot!
67
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,115
{\an8}Another head shot!
68
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,408
Great head shots today.
69
00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:23,870
All right, nobody pees
till we get a shout-out from Slayer.
70
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,498
And I say that as someone
who really has to pee.
71
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:29,417
Wait. You're watching someone
play a video game?
72
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,920
Why don't you just play
video games yourselves?
73
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,717
Mia, tell me you are in jest.
74
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:40,220
Yeah, even my grandma knows that.
75
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,138
Yeah, Lisa. Keep up.
76
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,223
Whoa!
77
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,307
Head shot!
78
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,393
Shout out to FroggyBoy36.
79
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,812
Get well soon, man. Mono is a bitch.
80
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,189
Ugh, that lucky, sleepy bastard!
81
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:54,234
Oh, I got a comment
I bet nobody ever says to him.
82
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,736
"Slayer, you're good at gaming."
83
00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:01,366
No response?
But I was typing from the heart!
84
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,534
Ooh, let me try!
85
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:07,622
"Hey" with eleven Y's?
Uh-uh. We are not that thirsty!
86
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,791
It's this stupid sticky keyboard.
87
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,418
Why is the keyboard sticky?
88
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,502
Uh...
89
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,712
- That's weird.
- Can we move on?
90
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:17,424
All right, slay mates, this next round is
for my favorite charity, Operation Wag,
91
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:20,468
which rehabilitates dogs with limp tails.
92
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:25,015
These poor pups' erectail dysfunction is
our ticket to a shout-out from Slayer,
93
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,308
- but we need cash.
- I know!
94
00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:30,979
Hey, Grandma, it's Duncan's birthday!
Give him some money!
95
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,565
Hang on, hang on.
96
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,734
Ooh! A Tums!
97
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:39,237
Ooh! Hurry up, Grandma! It's an emergency.
98
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:42,741
Emergency? Hey, my parents gave me
an emergency credit card.
99
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:43,825
- Yeah!
- Yes!
100
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:46,661
Are you sure your parents will be okay
with you using that?
101
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,787
Absolutely.
102
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:52,083
Now, Duncan, this card can only be used
under the following circumstances:
103
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,835
If a bully takes your lunch money.
104
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,379
If a bully smears sloppy joes
on your shirt on picture day,
105
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,464
and you need a new one.
106
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,883
If you're buying a new shirt
and a bully says,
107
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,426
"Hey, give me that credit card."
108
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,596
Duncan! Clickety-clack them digits in!
109
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,973
- Hey, are you bullying me?
- Yes!
110
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,558
That's all I needed to hear.
111
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,730
And here's the hallway closet
in our first apartment.
112
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,733
You'd pull that string,
and a light would turn on.
113
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,234
Uh-huh.
114
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:22,280
And this is a blurry photo
of a house we looked at but didn't buy.
115
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:25,283
Right, right.
116
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,286
Huh?
117
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,121
Were those mug shots?
118
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,707
Uh, everyone ignore each other
and look at your phone for hours.
119
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,543
Amazing what these things can do!
120
00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,504
No. What the hell were those?
121
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,797
Language, Jing.
122
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:39,881
No, she's right.
123
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,216
What the hell were those?
124
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,806
Duncan, hurry! Kazu just donated
five bucks! He's gonna own the school!
125
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:50,225
{\an8}RollingBookBag68, with the do-no.
126
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,309
{\an8}Keep rollin', brother.
127
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:53,395
He called him brother!
128
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,479
Duncan!
129
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,772
Ten dollars. Done.
130
00:05:57,107 --> 00:06:00,026
{\an8}No way! No way. Oh, my God.
Duncan Harris, and his crew,
131
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:03,988
{\an8}Bex, Yangzi, Wolf and Mia have just made
a killer donation to Operation Wag.
132
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:06,741
{\an8}Major props, my slay mates. Let's go!
133
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,494
Bite me, Kazu!
134
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,913
What? Slayer said my name.
135
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,915
You know what? A shout-out isn't enough.
136
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,918
You're all coming
to my private island, IRL, ASAP.
137
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:21,006
And I'm giving you
my personal customized keyboard.
138
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,843
What's the big deal? It's just a keyboard.
139
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,595
It's like Tom Brady giving you his arm.
140
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,516
Like Ruth Bader Ginsburg
giving you her robe.
141
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:32,767
Oh, my God!
142
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,687
And if blue's not your jam, boom, aqua!
143
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:42,193
I can't wait to meet the dude
that donated $10,000 to my charity.
144
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,862
Ten thousand dollars?
145
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,238
Huh? What?
146
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,407
Uh-oh, stuck key.
147
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,159
Thank you so much, Duncan.
148
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,619
No!
149
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,163
I found a dollar!
150
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:56,041
Happy birthday, Lisa.
151
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,963
Okay. All right. Explain it to me again.
152
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:07,552
Look at me, you promised to donate
$10,000, and you don't have $10,000.
153
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,387
Don't as in "do not"?
154
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,265
Let me try, Mia.
155
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,225
You don't have it!
156
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,769
Whoa, whoa. Everybody chill.
157
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:16,895
If this is heading towards,
158
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,938
"You gotta do the right thing
and tell Slayer the truth,"
159
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,899
then I am pumping the brakes hard.
160
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,859
Slayer's gonna give us his keyboard, Duncan.
161
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,487
His keyboard.
I bet it smells like his hands.
162
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,697
I know! That's what makes this so hard.
163
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,331
Slayer! Comin' through
with the sick entrance!
164
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:37,582
Which one of you is Duncan?
165
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,668
Oh, my God. Somebody answer him.
166
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,087
Come on, guys! We're going to my island!
167
00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:45,006
I've got Red Bull Coconut Edition.
168
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:48,385
I don't have $10,000.
What should I do, Mia?
169
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,970
He's got Extreme Kiwi-Apple!
170
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,264
You can only get that at Shell stations!
171
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,059
Whoo!
172
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,939
You guys were arrested?
173
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:04,109
Jack, why would you put these
in our family photo album?
174
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:07,362
I'm a scrapbooker, Annie.
You knew that when you married me.
175
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:10,907
- Is it okay if I go to Slayer's island?
- Will his parents be home?
176
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,368
- I don't know.
- Okay. Text me when you get there.
177
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,374
I can't believe you gave me crap
for having my EarPods too loud,
178
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,875
and you guys are murderers.
179
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,544
We're not murderers!
180
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:23,795
Then what did you do?
181
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,630
Yeah, start talking, lady.
182
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,217
All right, you guys remember
when Tipper Gore was trying
183
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,970
to put explicit-lyric warning labels
on CDs, right?
184
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,847
CDs?
185
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,140
Tipper?
186
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:37,142
It was the '90s.
187
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:41,771
Veronica's Closet was changing
everything we know about television.
188
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,692
That's so true!
189
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,028
Half the country owned a Jeep Wrangler,
190
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:52,157
and Sam Goody was the place to be seen
while never buying anything.
191
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:56,077
Yeah! Spit that nasty stuff!
192
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:58,830
Wait. What the police?
193
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,957
Annie, what did he say
to do to the police?
194
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,710
He didn't. Maybe respect them?
Feed them? I don't know!
195
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:07,964
Somebody's putting bleeps over words
that are critical to the artists' message!
196
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,382
But who?
197
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:14,220
It's the tight-ass wife
of our computer-nerd vice president!
198
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,973
Jack, you have crime in your eyes.
199
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:20,101
That night, we came back
to the store with a purpose.
200
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,229
This feels like
kind of an overreaction, Jack.
201
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,815
Can't we just, like,
buy the explicit version?
202
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:28,485
And trash our nails peeling stickers off?
203
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:32,572
Let's see 'em censor this!
204
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,912
Be cool, my baby.
Let Jackie boy do the talking.
205
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,872
Good evening, pigs.
206
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,501
{\an8}Forty-eight hours
of hard time later,
207
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:48,129
your mom and I reunited,
a couple of jailbirds in love.
208
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,341
But we learned our lesson,
and we're model citizens today.
209
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:52,509
Story over.
210
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,469
Wait. That doesn't make sense, Mom.
211
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,179
You tell us before bed every night
212
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,848
that if you have a criminal record,
you can't be in law enforcement.
213
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,934
And you are in law enforcement.
214
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,186
And I'm five, and that don't add up.
215
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,897
Yeah, that don't add up.
216
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,780
Wow. You own that island?
217
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:17,325
Actually, I split the rent with the guy
who invented the Scrub Daddy.
218
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:18,910
- You guys ready to jump?
- Jump?
219
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:21,913
Yeah, baby! We're dropping in
Fortnite style! Let's get it!
220
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:29,587
This is how I'm traveling everywhere
from now on.
221
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:32,090
Listen, I'm not gonna be able
to work my shift today.
222
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,508
I'm having lady issues.
223
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:35,719
Don't be sorry. It's okay. Bye!
224
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,389
"And crew." That's me.
225
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,892
Duncan, I am so proud of you
for keeping your scamming mouth shut.
226
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:46,187
Now if you'll excuse me, barrel roll!
227
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:51,192
I'm not scamming.
I'm delaying the truth!
228
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,319
Uh, hola, Bex.
229
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,364
Wait. If you're here,
what happens to the chopper?
230
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,449
I don't know.
231
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,953
Oh, I see. Cool.
232
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,998
And superhero landing!
233
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,049
I'm back, Mom.
234
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,300
Hi, Dennis.
235
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,968
"Slayer," Mom. [whispers] Come on.
236
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,887
Oh, sorry, pookums.
237
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,972
Ugh, come on.
I'll show you to my gaming studio.
238
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:23,141
It's soundproof, waterproof and fartproof.
239
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,934
Oh, we'll see about that.
240
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,111
Welcome back, Slayer. Energy drink?
241
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,529
Whoa. A robot servant.
242
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,157
Actually, it's just a hologram
of a robot servant. See?
243
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,076
- Oh.
- All right.
244
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:44,579
See, this is how you know you're making
just the right amount of money.
245
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:47,499
Who's a ticklish hologram?
246
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:50,502
- Ow. Those are my genitals.
- Oh!
247
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,837
Oh, this place is so cool!
248
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,924
Not as cool as the ten grand
you donated to Operation Wag.
249
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,594
Yeah, about that--
Uh, there's something I need to--
250
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:02,847
{\an8}Boom! Slayer swag!
Take what you want, guys.
251
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,516
First dibs! It was my ten grand!
252
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:07,060
I got a gaming hemorrhoid pillow!
253
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,770
I got a PlayStation 10!
254
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,605
{\an8}I got a Slayer hat.
255
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:13,149
- And it smells like his head.
- Gimme!
256
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:16,027
See, Mia? You do something good,
and good things happen.
257
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:19,406
Duncan, this is dope as hell,
but you didn't do anything good!
258
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,657
You cheated a charity.
259
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,617
Just get the keyboard and get out.
260
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:26,454
But to reiterate, this is dope as hell.
Look at all the Rollies I got.
261
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:27,706
Oh, you're right.
262
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:31,584
Slayer, it's really been cool coming here,
jumping out of a chopper,
263
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,629
and fondling your hologram robot,
but we gotta bounce.
264
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:37,090
So if you could just give us the keyboard...
265
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:40,093
I am absolutely gonna
give you that keyboard.
266
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,804
- Hmm?
- When I present it to you
267
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:46,182
as a part of my livestream charity event.
268
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:49,561
Huh?
269
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:56,609
I want the world to meet the generous
donors that are gonna make it possible
270
00:12:56,609 --> 00:13:01,364
for these little guys
to one day raise their tails in pride.
271
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:07,328
Wow, Duncan.
You played yourself this time.
272
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:13,335
So, I spent the whole weekend in jail,
and you didn't?
273
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,128
Jack, you have to understand.
274
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,755
I've always wanted to tell you,
275
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:19,883
but I haven't been able to
because I haven't wanted to!
276
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:21,634
Continue talking, lady.
277
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,011
Okay, okay.
278
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:26,181
It all started the night
those mug shots were taken.
279
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,265
We know.
280
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:28,767
"Tipper Bore"?
281
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,060
When I drive past Sam Goody,
282
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,895
how am I supposed to
explain that to my kids?
283
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:35,148
Trash talking the First Lady?
Yeah, I could understand.
284
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,566
But the Second Lady?
285
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,152
Please! I can't go to jail!
286
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,947
I have a dream of someday working
at a very low level of law enforcement!
287
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,241
Then pin this
on your hothead hippie boyfriend,
288
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,202
- and you're free to walk out of here.
- Never!
289
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:50,538
You really wanna give up your future
for some loser?
290
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:53,917
Sorry, pigs! She doesn't speak Oink!
291
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:59,047
So, again, who sullied Tipper Gore's name?
292
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,133
Oink! Oink!
293
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,350
Annie, how could you?
294
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,685
I'm so sorry, Jack!
295
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:14,229
Sorry? You sold me out!
296
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,150
Mommy's a snitch!
297
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,321
So, in honor of
your incredible generosity,
298
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,031
here is my personal keyboard.
299
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:28,118
- And, yes, it smells like my hands.
- I knew it.
300
00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:31,538
Okay, we gotta go.
Uh, can we take any helicopter, or...
301
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,874
Hang on. It looks like Banjo's got
a little thank-you note.
302
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,459
Aw.
303
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,129
See, Mavis? That dog appreciates his life.
304
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,881
"Fray-yood"?
305
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,550
It's "fraud."
306
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,468
That's right.
I know you don't have the money.
307
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:46,886
Your card was declined.
308
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,055
It's only authorized
for bully-related expenses.
309
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,808
Oh, my God. You knew the whole time?
I'm so sorry!
310
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,060
You lied to me.
And on the Internet, no less.
311
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,648
Duncan, is this true?
312
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:01,943
Cheating me is one thing,
but cheating dogs with limp tails?
313
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:05,071
- What kind of psychopath does that?
- You think you know a guy.
314
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,322
There can only be one punishment.
315
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,490
A warning?
316
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:11,578
One giant island. All weapons unlocked.
Last man standing wins.
317
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,495
Uh, what?
318
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,831
I'm gonna hunt your ass.
319
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:15,915
Oh, and kill you.
320
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,254
A Ka-Boom Bow?
321
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,757
The splash damage on that thing is epic!
322
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:26,217
Oh, which is not good for us. Right.
323
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:28,887
Three, two, one!
324
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:34,559
I teach the ones being hunted, Mavis.
325
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:43,985
This is crazy!
326
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:46,029
Do you think Slayer
really wants to kill us?
327
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,155
You figure it out!
328
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:49,949
Joker hair, island compound.
His name is Slayer!
329
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,036
And his hair! It's like the Joker's!
330
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:56,289
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is that what you were just saying?
331
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,959
Can't we work this out? I don't know.
332
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,545
I could do, like,
a payment plan or mow your island.
333
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:03,838
I could tutor you.
334
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:06,966
Video games aren't gonna last forever.
Don't you wanna be a success?
335
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:10,303
Are you kidding?
My thumbs are insured for two mil each.
336
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,888
Aren't you? Yes, you are.
337
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,306
I've wasted my life.
338
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,392
That's it. Weapon time.
339
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,185
Ooh. Mmm.
340
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,561
Ah.
341
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:19,646
Mom!
342
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,024
I don't know if this changes your mind,
but my biggest fear?
343
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,401
Being hit by a lunch bag.
344
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:25,485
Head shot!
345
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,160
I can't believe you flipped on Dad
to the cops,
346
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,787
and then he went to
the sporting goods store,
347
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:38,748
bought a heavy bag, came home, set it up,
now he's trying to punch the hurt away.
348
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:40,500
I know it seems like I did wrong,
349
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:45,130
but because I turned in your dad,
I was able to pursue my dream job
350
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:48,466
that provides so many great things
for this family.
351
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:52,762
Like our limited HMO.
You kids love that limited HMO.
352
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:55,515
But my Stanley the Stinkless Skunk
book says that
353
00:16:55,515 --> 00:17:00,228
you always stand by the person
you love, even if it stinks for you.
354
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:02,897
{\an8}Let me see that.
355
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,607
{\an8} Crap.
356
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:11,740
I can't believe I'm gonna die
just because I love flavored caffeine!
357
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:14,409
Bet you guys wish you were Christian now.
358
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:18,997
Almighty Lord, my savior,
beam my butt outta here!
359
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,876
Aw, come on, dude!
360
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:26,463
We're not gonna die!
Nobody knows video games like us!
361
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:29,549
Yeah, we've been wasting our lives
for a situation just like this!
362
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:33,178
All we gotta do is run-jump!
Run-jump! Run-jump! Run-jump!
363
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,471
Forget it. We're dead.
364
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:38,141
No! Video games always have supplies
hidden somewhere.
365
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:41,061
Look under every rock, bush and crate!
366
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,730
There's gotta be ammo and rations under--
367
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:48,443
Oh, my God! Our friends are gone.
368
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:50,737
Yeah, we're alone on this island.
369
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:54,532
Maybe we should, I don't know,
I'm just going by movies I've seen,
370
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,827
but, like, bathe in a waterfall together,
or, like--
371
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:01,956
Bro, you didn't think you had
a shot with her, did you?
372
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:05,960
I don't know! Prom's coming up,
and she is in one of my classes, and--
373
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,213
Run-jump! Run-jump!
374
00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:10,006
Damn, he run-jumps good.
375
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,259
Why?
376
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:14,844
Are you mad?
377
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:20,100
A weekend in jail, Annie.
That's Saturday and Sunday.
378
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,893
Jack, I told you the rest of the story,
379
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:24,562
but there's a rest
of the rest of the story.
380
00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:28,441
I left that station thinking
I was done with you forever.
381
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:31,361
But the more I tried to enjoy my life...
382
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,449
...the more I realized
that something was missing.
383
00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:40,578
That night, while the nation partied
384
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,956
and watched the finale
of Veronica's Closet,
385
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:44,958
I realized how much I needed you.
386
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,963
You weren't just reckless and crazed,
you were also passionate and manic.
387
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:52,882
You're unpredictable!
388
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:56,761
You go from belly laughs
to uncontrollable sobs in seconds!
389
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,848
Yeah, you're right. I do.
390
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:02,017
And I realized that cop was wrong.
391
00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:04,686
I wasn't giving up my future.
You were my future.
392
00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:10,692
- Hey, Kimberly.
- Yeah?
393
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:12,193
Who is Tipper Gore?
394
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:13,611
I still have no idea.
395
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:16,322
Strafe! Crouch and roll! Powerslide!
396
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,324
You can't escape me, Duncan.
397
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:19,743
Whoa!
398
00:19:21,745 --> 00:19:22,746
Whoa!
399
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:25,081
Uh-oh, Duncan's going down.
400
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:28,001
Though that does solve
my overcrowded-classroom problem.
401
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:32,839
Well, Duncan, looks like
you're the last man standing.
402
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:33,923
Yeah!
403
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,675
- Except for me.
- Oh, right.
404
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,678
Any last words before I Ka-Boom your ass?
405
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,014
Uh, yeah-- Uh, yeah. Um, let's see.
406
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:44,601
Um, shout-out to my mom.
Sorry I never made my bed.
407
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:48,563
Shout-out to my dead friends.
You guys always had my back.
408
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:51,608
And, uh, shout-out to
the poor dogs I screwed over.
409
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:55,528
Remember, it's not the wag in your tail,
it's the love in your heart.
410
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,531
Okay. Kill me.
411
00:20:02,077 --> 00:20:03,411
I'm not gonna kill you, dude.
412
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,164
Do you know off-brand that is?
I'm trying to get a shoe deal.
413
00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:08,083
But I owe you $10,000!
414
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:11,461
It's all good. I made double that
off this charity livestream.
415
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:14,798
And it's all going to Banjo
and his pals at Operation Wag.
416
00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:15,882
Woof, woof.
417
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,427
Mmm.
418
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,429
I wanna live on this island with you.
419
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,517
Dude, please just take the hat.
420
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,352
And I haven't forgotten you, Duncan.
421
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:30,188
I want you to know
that you have not earned this at all.
422
00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:31,815
Yeah, I did it!
423
00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:34,442
There's only one thing left
we haven't done yet.
424
00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,736
Pointless dancing!
425
00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:47,122
Oh, like I was gonna miss this?
426
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,050
I'm back. What's for dinner?
427
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,969
Did you have a nice time
on your friend's island?
428
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:02,470
{\an8}I don't know. It was an island.
429
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,805
{\an8}Did you bring me anything?
430
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:09,060
{\an8}Aw, he loves me! He's wagging his tail!
431
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:11,980
{\an8}Yes, he is, Jing. Yes, he is.
432
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,064
{\an8}Can we keep him?
433
00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:14,816
{\an8}You were criminals. You have to say yes.
434
00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:19,237
{\an8}Take our photo together!
Did I say that right? "Photo"?
435
00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:24,659
{\an8}That one's going in the family album.
436
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,370
{\an8}Why are you guys wearing sashes?
437
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:30,498
{\an8}And what's... "NXIVM"?
438
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:31,708
{\an8}- Uh...
- Um...
34023
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