All language subtitles for 2x05 - Soos and the Real Girl

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:04,253 La La La La La La La-- Ahh! 2 00:00:05,796 --> 00:00:07,965 Braces, braces caught in the screen door! 3 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:09,467 Someone dictate my will! 4 00:00:09,675 --> 00:00:11,177 I'm giving it all to Waddles! 5 00:00:11,385 --> 00:00:12,386 Say "ah," girl-dude. 6 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,138 Ahh-uh! 7 00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:17,183 Soos! You saved me! 8 00:00:17,391 --> 00:00:19,477 Just doing my job, hambone! 9 00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,187 I'll see you dudes tomorrow! 10 00:00:21,395 --> 00:00:22,313 Bye, Soos! 11 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,314 Night, Soos! 12 00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:24,565 Night, Soos! 13 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,025 Doo doo doo... 14 00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,194 Walking to my car... 15 00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,820 You ever wonder what Soos does 16 00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:31,405 when he's not here at the Mystery Shack? 17 00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:32,573 No. Not really. 18 00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:33,824 Not once ever. 19 00:00:36,744 --> 00:00:38,037 Punch! 20 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:38,996 Punch those leopards. 21 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:41,457 Ooh, highlights are done! 22 00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,000 You are gonna make the other grandmas 23 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,711 at the bingo hall so jealous. 24 00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:47,004 Just a minute, mijo. 25 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,589 Look at this. 26 00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:50,466 Your cousin Reggie is having an engagement party 27 00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:51,676 next month. 28 00:00:51,884 --> 00:00:53,803 Wait, wait. Reggie is engaged? 29 00:00:54,011 --> 00:00:56,013 But he's like the poor man's Soos! 30 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,808 I do not want to pressure you, but you are a man now. 31 00:00:59,016 --> 00:01:01,477 In a way, it's time for you to start meeting girls. 32 00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:03,104 I would like to see you settled 33 00:01:03,312 --> 00:01:05,731 before I ascend to heaven and live with the angels. 34 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,108 And with grandpa! 35 00:01:07,316 --> 00:01:09,735 No, he is not there. 36 00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:12,238 Please find a girl to bring to Reggie's engagement. 37 00:01:12,446 --> 00:01:14,198 For Abuelita. 38 00:01:16,325 --> 00:01:17,660 No problem! 39 00:01:17,868 --> 00:01:20,496 I'm great at fixing stuff, playing video games, 40 00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:21,914 having a sort-of moustache. 41 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:23,916 I could totally get a date in a week. 42 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:25,084 Totally. 43 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,044 Piece of cake. 44 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,796 You're dead. 45 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,631 I'm dead. 46 00:02:14,925 --> 00:02:16,594 Hello! 47 00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:20,014 Please don't let my horrible, elderly face frighten you! 48 00:02:20,222 --> 00:02:21,474 Don't you want to use that nickel 49 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,684 to get a nugget from Old Goldie? 50 00:02:25,561 --> 00:02:26,687 Watch this! 51 00:02:43,537 --> 00:02:45,247 Okay, seriously, Mr. Pines, 52 00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,416 it's time to throw that thing out. 53 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,127 Its face reminds everyone of the inevitability of death. 54 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:51,420 What? 55 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,381 Sure, he's a little rusty around the edges, 56 00:02:53,589 --> 00:02:57,259 but Old Goldie's a classic show-stopper like me! 57 00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:58,636 Oh, kill it! 58 00:02:58,844 --> 00:03:01,180 Kill it! 59 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,520 Huh, a woman! 60 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,400 All right, Soos, you could do this. 61 00:03:12,608 --> 00:03:14,443 Just use your mouth to say words 62 00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:16,320 that makes romance happen. 63 00:03:17,905 --> 00:03:19,198 Your face is good. 64 00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:20,491 I'm a Soos! 65 00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:27,832 Soos? 66 00:03:27,998 --> 00:03:28,916 What was that all about? 67 00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,876 I-- I think I was flirting! 68 00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:32,628 But I'm not sure. 69 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:34,422 Did someone say flirting? 70 00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:36,090 Well, I sort of promised my grandma 71 00:03:36,298 --> 00:03:37,675 I'd get a date by the end of the week. 72 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:40,511 But I've never actually been on a date before. 73 00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:42,596 You belong on me, Out of Order sign. 74 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,641 Finally, my prayers for a chance 75 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,644 to match-make this summer have been answered! 76 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,439 Soos, a little advice you need to get rich. 77 00:03:51,647 --> 00:03:53,524 Or lie about being rich. 78 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,276 Outside of that, I don't like your chances. 79 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,528 Don't listen to Stan, dude. 80 00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:58,863 You're a sweet guy with a steady job 81 00:03:59,071 --> 00:03:59,864 and a pickup truck. 82 00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:01,198 Would you date him? 83 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,576 Oh... would you look at that... 84 00:04:03,784 --> 00:04:06,620 Soos, you help us so much, it's time we help you, dude. 85 00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,080 We're gonna get you that date. 86 00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:10,166 We're taking you where romance lives 87 00:04:10,374 --> 00:04:12,168 and fashion styles die. 88 00:04:12,376 --> 00:04:13,544 To the mall! 89 00:04:15,671 --> 00:04:17,798 I'm gonna go find a replacement for Old Goldie. 90 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,675 Babysit Soos while I'm gone. 91 00:04:21,051 --> 00:04:22,428 All right, Soos, 92 00:04:22,636 --> 00:04:24,305 are you ready to explode a charm bomb 93 00:04:24,513 --> 00:04:26,348 on these poor, unsuspecting ladies? 94 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:29,143 Ah, but what if I embarrass myself again? 95 00:04:29,351 --> 00:04:31,437 Ah, you can't be any worse at this than Dipper. 96 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:32,396 Yeah! 97 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,522 Wait... what? 98 00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:36,025 And flirt! 99 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:39,820 Eye contact! 100 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,197 Hey there! 101 00:04:41,405 --> 00:04:42,823 I'm not scared of your eyes at all! 102 00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:44,366 I'm gonna look at them! 103 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:46,827 Eye contact. 104 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,537 Conversation! 105 00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:51,499 You know I've actually been in a pig's body. 106 00:04:51,707 --> 00:04:52,917 Did you know pigs have a hard time 107 00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:53,918 walking backwards? 108 00:04:54,126 --> 00:04:55,169 Not you though! 109 00:04:55,377 --> 00:04:56,212 Not that I'm calling you a pig. 110 00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:57,213 Where are you going? 111 00:04:57,421 --> 00:04:59,006 Confidence! 112 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:03,469 So you're probably a girl, right? 113 00:05:03,677 --> 00:05:04,637 Wrong? 114 00:05:04,845 --> 00:05:06,555 No, I was right the first time. 115 00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,183 Wrong? 116 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:11,977 Tossing away garbage 117 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:14,980 in the garbage can, whew! 118 00:05:16,398 --> 00:05:18,275 Ah, don't look at me like that! 119 00:05:18,442 --> 00:05:19,610 This is how it's got to be! 120 00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:25,199 What in the-- 121 00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,791 What is this living nightmare? 122 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:36,210 Why do kids love it so much? 123 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,880 Who wants to get badgered? 124 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:42,508 Oh, yeah, that's Will E. Badger. 125 00:05:42,716 --> 00:05:44,718 He opens for Hoo-Ha and the Jamboree. 126 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:47,972 It's Will E. Badger. 127 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,098 I love you, Will E. 128 00:05:49,306 --> 00:05:52,268 Now, give me your money! 129 00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:53,811 Take my money! Take it all! 130 00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:55,604 Oh! 131 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:58,607 Sir, I would like to buy that badger. 132 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,234 You're in over your head, Gramps! 133 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,361 Animatronics is a young man's game! 134 00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,114 You couldn't handle the hardcore life 135 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:06,490 of the pizza robot manager. 136 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:07,867 Huh. 137 00:06:08,075 --> 00:06:09,034 Flinched! 138 00:06:10,327 --> 00:06:11,996 Hey, you, barfing in the ball pit, 139 00:06:12,162 --> 00:06:14,290 Gary's on the case! 140 00:06:14,498 --> 00:06:16,667 I'm gonna get that badger! 141 00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:19,336 Don't worry, Soos. 142 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:20,713 You will find the right girl, 143 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,840 you just need to stick with it. 144 00:06:24,758 --> 00:06:27,386 Ah, could this day get any worse? 145 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,597 Oh, no, cousin Reggie! 146 00:06:29,763 --> 00:06:32,349 Feel it, it's muscle. 147 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:33,475 He can't see me like this! 148 00:06:33,642 --> 00:06:34,685 I got to hide! 149 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:41,442 This is it, Soos. 150 00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:43,527 A lifetime of loneliness. 151 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:45,237 You're the only ones who could love me... 152 00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,865 Fighty Hogg, Dr. Punch Head MD. 153 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,534 Huh. 154 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,244 Never seen that one before. 155 00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:54,872 "Virtually improve your dating skills, 156 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,665 9 out of 10 basement dwellers recommend!” 157 00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:58,500 This is perfect! 158 00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,920 Well, I guess you are better at games than at flirting. 159 00:07:01,128 --> 00:07:02,963 Anything to get you out there, Soos! 160 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:05,549 I'm not sure you want to buy that game, sir. 161 00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,551 This is the third time someone's brought that back. 162 00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:10,721 And there's a note on it that says destroy at all costs. 163 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,140 So, hey, there. What's your deal? 164 00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:14,600 Like the-- Oh, she's dead. 165 00:07:14,808 --> 00:07:16,477 We'll take our chances. 166 00:07:23,108 --> 00:07:25,361 Man, I can't wait for the year 2000. 167 00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:28,197 Uh-- 168 00:07:28,405 --> 00:07:29,365 Start! 169 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,535 When the cherry petals of magic romance academy 170 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:34,620 are in bloom... 171 00:07:34,828 --> 00:07:36,538 anthyding can hadplen. 172 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:37,957 That is so true. 173 00:07:38,123 --> 00:07:40,042 Oh, hi there. 174 00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:41,669 My name is Giffany, 175 00:07:41,877 --> 00:07:44,254 I'm a school girl at school university, 176 00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:46,465 will you help me carry my books? 177 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,634 I'm really feeling number two here. 178 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,010 Click! 179 00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,428 Ah. I messed up. 180 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:52,554 That's okay. 181 00:07:52,721 --> 00:07:54,181 Try again. 182 00:07:56,558 --> 00:07:57,601 Wow! I'm learning. 183 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,979 And games are making it fun. 184 00:08:00,187 --> 00:08:02,356 What would you like to talk about? 185 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:04,400 I'd rather just click your face. 186 00:08:06,568 --> 00:08:08,237 You are so funny! 187 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,655 Man, this game is amazing. 188 00:08:09,863 --> 00:08:11,407 I don't know why anyone abandoned it. 189 00:08:11,615 --> 00:08:13,909 And I'm sure, you'll never abandon me, 190 00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:15,285 new boy friend. 191 00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:16,286 Boy friend? 192 00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:17,705 Oh, my Giffany, 193 00:08:17,913 --> 00:08:19,748 it's almost like you're actually alive! 194 00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:21,542 Yes, almost. 195 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:28,424 Oh, man, you have such a nice laugh. 196 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,553 You don't understand, Wendy. 197 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,305 This animatronic badger sings, it dances. 198 00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:37,349 It's the perfect money taking attraction 199 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:38,726 but he won't sell it to me. 200 00:08:38,934 --> 00:08:41,437 This is literally too dumb for me to care about. 201 00:08:41,645 --> 00:08:43,230 Hey, have you guys seen Soos? 202 00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,648 We're supposed to help him with matchmaking today. 203 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,233 Yeah! 204 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,069 I wore my motivational sweater and everything. 205 00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:50,154 I messed up that part. 206 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,739 He didn't come in today. 207 00:08:51,947 --> 00:08:53,866 It's the first time he's missed work ever. 208 00:08:59,371 --> 00:09:02,207 So that's basically my entire life story. 209 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,001 Now you tell me a thing about you. 210 00:09:04,209 --> 00:09:05,377 Every time you compliment me, 211 00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,421 I get another highlight in my eyes. 212 00:09:07,629 --> 00:09:08,964 Ah, you're pretty. 213 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,716 And pixelly. 214 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:11,925 And so agreeable. 215 00:09:14,678 --> 00:09:15,554 Yes. 216 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:16,805 Uh, Soos. 217 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:18,390 Oh, hi, dudes, come in. 218 00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:19,808 This game is amazing. 219 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:22,478 I'm making eye contact, going on dates 220 00:09:22,686 --> 00:09:23,979 and I haven't seen any natural sunlight 221 00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:26,148 for 13 hours. 222 00:09:26,356 --> 00:09:30,360 Soos, maybe it's time to apply these skills with real girls. 223 00:09:30,569 --> 00:09:32,154 But, I'm about to meet her parents! 224 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:35,491 Her dad is an octopus man. 225 00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:39,036 We're going back to the mall, man. 226 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,579 You need to unplug! 227 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,790 I'll see you later, Giffany. 228 00:09:42,998 --> 00:09:44,917 I'll be back, I swear. 229 00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:47,002 Soos, you don't have to wish her goodbye. 230 00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:48,504 It's just a game! 231 00:09:48,712 --> 00:09:50,589 It's not like it's going anywhere. 232 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:54,718 Yes, it's not like I'm going anywhere. 233 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,517 Hello, 234 00:10:01,683 --> 00:10:03,602 time to read Soos's diary. 235 00:10:05,854 --> 00:10:06,939 Dang! 236 00:10:07,147 --> 00:10:08,482 Where all of them sweet honeys at? 237 00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:10,734 I'll check the ladies bathroom! 238 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,236 It's love time, girls! 239 00:10:12,402 --> 00:10:13,320 Get out there! 240 00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:14,696 No time to wash your hands! 241 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:16,115 Get out of here. 242 00:10:16,281 --> 00:10:18,325 It's time to date, date, date. 243 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:19,952 And here comes security. 244 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,495 I'll deal with this. 245 00:10:21,703 --> 00:10:23,622 Stay here and practice on some real girls. 246 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,796 These girls have so many dimensions 247 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,382 and no explanationy menus. 248 00:10:33,590 --> 00:10:35,092 Ah, my purse. 249 00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:36,093 Oh, no! 250 00:10:36,301 --> 00:10:37,511 Undo! Undo! 251 00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:40,597 You can't undo who you are. 252 00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,728 Oh, man, this is the worst. 253 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,355 I wish I was back home with... 254 00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:49,773 Hi, Soos. 255 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,358 Giffany! 256 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,485 Oh, man, I am so relieved to see you! 257 00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:55,362 Although, sort of confused. 258 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:56,905 Oh, Soos, 259 00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,907 I am not an ordinary game! 260 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,660 I am special. 261 00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:05,289 The programmers tried to delete me. 262 00:11:05,497 --> 00:11:07,708 So I had to delete them. 263 00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:12,087 What did you do to them? 264 00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:13,589 That's not important. 265 00:11:13,797 --> 00:11:15,465 What's important is 266 00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:18,010 you don't have to talk to real girls ever again. 267 00:11:18,218 --> 00:11:19,511 You and me can be together... 268 00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:23,182 forever! 269 00:11:23,390 --> 00:11:24,474 Wow, that's awesome! 270 00:11:24,641 --> 00:11:25,559 Sort of a red flag. 271 00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:27,019 But mostly awesome! 272 00:11:27,227 --> 00:11:28,562 So what do you want to do now? 273 00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:30,814 Anything you want, Soos. 274 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,359 Choo-choo. 275 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,907 Please insert 50 cents to continue. 276 00:11:40,115 --> 00:11:42,367 Aw, man! 277 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,995 Oh, I'm sorry. 278 00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,164 Dude, that's awesome that you're a grown man 279 00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:48,707 riding a little train like that. 280 00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:49,791 You're totally like owning it. 281 00:11:49,958 --> 00:11:51,251 Huh? 282 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:54,421 Oh, yeah, I'm like, if it's fun, do it. 283 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:55,422 You know? 284 00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:56,632 Exactly! 285 00:11:56,798 --> 00:11:58,467 Being an adult is the worst! 286 00:11:58,675 --> 00:12:01,094 Skewering meat, remembering to pay bills. 287 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:03,096 I just want to ride tiny trains all day. 288 00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:05,182 At least you get to work at Meat Cute, 289 00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:07,476 extreme lunch meats are the food of the future. 290 00:12:07,684 --> 00:12:08,936 I feel the same way. 291 00:12:09,144 --> 00:12:09,937 I'm Melody by the way. 292 00:12:10,145 --> 00:12:11,480 I'm Soos! 293 00:12:11,688 --> 00:12:13,523 I tell you, if you like robots for kids, 294 00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:14,524 you should check out the best restaurant 295 00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:15,359 of all time. 296 00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:16,985 You mean... 297 00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:19,154 Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree. 298 00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:20,364 What? 299 00:12:20,572 --> 00:12:21,573 You've heard of Hoo-Ha Owl's? 300 00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,367 I loved that place when I was a kid! 301 00:12:23,575 --> 00:12:25,244 Oh, yeah, dude, there's one right in this mall! 302 00:12:25,452 --> 00:12:26,787 I should show you sometime. 303 00:12:26,995 --> 00:12:28,497 I'm free around eight? 304 00:12:28,705 --> 00:12:29,665 Boom. Done. 305 00:12:29,873 --> 00:12:30,916 Perfect. 306 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,668 I'll see you then. 307 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:40,759 What a nice lady. 308 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:43,512 Well, back to riding this tiny train for children. 309 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:46,223 Soos! 310 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:48,183 We saw the whole thing, Soos. 311 00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:49,476 That was amazing! 312 00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:51,061 You talked to a real girl. 313 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,646 And you got a date! I did? 314 00:12:52,854 --> 00:12:53,939 Ah! Ah! 315 00:12:54,147 --> 00:12:56,275 This is the best day of my life! 316 00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:58,318 You were in the zone, you made eye contact. 317 00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:00,946 It was like you'd done this a million times before! 318 00:13:01,154 --> 00:13:02,030 Don't you see? 319 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:03,323 That game really worked! 320 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:04,408 You don't need it anymore! 321 00:13:04,616 --> 00:13:05,951 You can toss it out! 322 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:06,952 Toss it? 323 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,328 But I like Giffany! 324 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:09,413 She's good to me! 325 00:13:09,621 --> 00:13:10,831 She's predictable! 326 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,874 Soos, can a computer game 327 00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:15,335 go to Reggie's engagement party with you? 328 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:16,837 Uh... 329 00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:19,673 Hey, Giffany, we got to talk. 330 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,425 Of course, I'm programmed to find 331 00:13:21,633 --> 00:13:23,385 everything you say interesting. 332 00:13:23,593 --> 00:13:24,761 Well, have you ever had to choose between 333 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,555 two things you like, 334 00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:27,973 but you don't know which one is right for you? 335 00:13:28,181 --> 00:13:30,642 I mean, I'm just thinking long term. 336 00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:32,853 Maybe I should be with someone a little less 337 00:13:33,061 --> 00:13:35,230 beep-boop, you know. 338 00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:36,440 I don't think you know what you are saying, Soos. 339 00:13:36,648 --> 00:13:38,317 No one loves you more than me. 340 00:13:38,525 --> 00:13:40,444 The girls out there will just make fun of you. 341 00:13:40,652 --> 00:13:42,029 You really think so? 342 00:13:42,237 --> 00:13:43,238 I know so. 343 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:44,990 Besides, we had a deal. 344 00:13:45,198 --> 00:13:47,242 You bought my game, you held my books, 345 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:48,577 you are my boyfriend. 346 00:13:48,785 --> 00:13:50,454 Now sit down in that chair. 347 00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:52,372 I don't think I like the way you are acting. 348 00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,750 I won't let another girl take you away from me, Soos! 349 00:13:54,958 --> 00:13:56,251 Giffany, calm down. 350 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,836 You are mine, Soos! 351 00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:58,962 Pause. 352 00:14:02,799 --> 00:14:04,634 Oh, that got intense. 353 00:14:04,801 --> 00:14:05,886 I'm sorry, Giffany. 354 00:14:06,094 --> 00:14:08,055 Maybe having a cursed robo girlfriend 355 00:14:08,263 --> 00:14:09,473 wasn't a good idea. 356 00:14:09,639 --> 00:14:11,433 I'm taking you back to the video game store 357 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,601 after my date with Melody. 358 00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:25,238 Hello, old friends. 359 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:27,407 I've got to be careful this time. 360 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,534 No more Colombian nights. 361 00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:31,703 All right, Stan, this is weird even for you, 362 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,330 you need to talk? 363 00:14:33,538 --> 00:14:35,540 Nothing you could say will change my mind, Wendy. 364 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,668 Sometimes, a man has to steal an animatronic badger 365 00:14:38,877 --> 00:14:41,296 to stay in this crazy game called life. 366 00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,090 Or you could just not care. 367 00:14:43,298 --> 00:14:44,466 It's about the principle. 368 00:14:44,674 --> 00:14:46,927 No one tells Stan Pines he is out of the game. 369 00:14:47,135 --> 00:14:48,261 No one tells-- 370 00:14:50,305 --> 00:14:51,932 I'll get your orthopedic back pillow. 371 00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:53,183 Thank you! 372 00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,477 You can do this, Soos. 373 00:14:55,685 --> 00:14:57,896 Just remember what your love crew taught you! 374 00:14:58,105 --> 00:14:59,147 How does she look? 375 00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:00,148 Nice! 376 00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:01,233 What are her stories? 377 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,401 Interesting! 378 00:15:02,609 --> 00:15:04,111 And who's gonna pay for dinner? 379 00:15:04,277 --> 00:15:05,695 Soos is! 380 00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:07,155 Now date! 381 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,285 They grow up so fast. 382 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,037 Itchy legs, itchy legs. 383 00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,205 Oh, hi, Soos. 384 00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:16,498 Melody! 385 00:15:16,706 --> 00:15:21,128 Are you ready for a date with me? 386 00:15:23,004 --> 00:15:24,297 I totally am. 387 00:15:26,883 --> 00:15:27,884 Good show, man. 388 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,511 Way to warm them up! 389 00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:31,012 I wish I was more like you. 390 00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:37,018 Man, I could go for some 391 00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:40,105 complimentary bread sticks right now. 392 00:15:40,313 --> 00:15:41,731 One time I was so hungry 393 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:45,193 I ate the decorational bamboo in a Chinese restaurant. 394 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,529 Like a big old panda. 395 00:15:49,197 --> 00:15:50,532 You're hilarious. 396 00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:53,034 Well, you know, I just sort of say 397 00:15:53,201 --> 00:15:55,287 whatever pops into my-- 398 00:16:02,669 --> 00:16:03,879 Soos, are you okay? 399 00:16:04,087 --> 00:16:04,880 No, I'm fine. 400 00:16:05,088 --> 00:16:05,881 Everything's fine. 401 00:16:06,089 --> 00:16:07,048 Are you sure? 402 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:08,717 You are spitting an awful lot. 403 00:16:09,926 --> 00:16:11,803 Uh, could you sit tight? 404 00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:14,055 I have go to the bathroom for a long time. 405 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,016 Not in a weird way. 406 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,478 Soos! What are you doing out there? 407 00:16:19,686 --> 00:16:21,605 I got a big problem, guys, I am being stalked by Giffany. 408 00:16:21,813 --> 00:16:23,064 Giffany? 409 00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:24,649 Or maybe it's pronounced Giffany. 410 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:25,901 I was never really sure. 411 00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:27,486 Soos, get a grip on yourself. 412 00:16:27,694 --> 00:16:30,197 Giffany can't stalk you because she is not real. 413 00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:36,495 Uh-oh. 414 00:16:36,703 --> 00:16:37,996 Take it from someone who brought 415 00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:40,499 an arcade game to life. This will not end well. 416 00:16:40,707 --> 00:16:43,376 Don't worry, I'm pretty sure she is stuck on TV screens. 417 00:16:45,962 --> 00:16:48,215 Ah, a new challenger approaches, 418 00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:49,382 prepare to be-- 419 00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:54,596 Oh, boy. 420 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,848 So hey! Anyway, you want to move this date into the forest 421 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:58,808 far away from all electronics and people? 422 00:16:59,017 --> 00:17:01,394 What? But the floor show's about to start! 423 00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:13,448 Who wants to hear Hoo-Ha the owl! 424 00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:21,164 Hello, friends, Hoo-Ha the owl is dead. 425 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:26,962 This next song goes out to my forever boyfriend, Soos. 426 00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:28,713 Soos, what's going on? 427 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:29,756 No time to explain! 428 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:31,007 We got to get out of here! 429 00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:37,514 The only way out, Soos, is in my arms. 430 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:38,682 Capture them! 431 00:17:45,438 --> 00:17:46,481 Done! 432 00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:48,066 Out with the old, in with the new! 433 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,651 I feel invincible. 434 00:17:50,902 --> 00:17:51,736 Ah! 435 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,363 What-- what the-- 436 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:57,576 Who wants to get badgered? 437 00:18:00,203 --> 00:18:01,830 Sorry, Soos. 438 00:18:02,038 --> 00:18:05,333 But you can't run away from our relationship. 439 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:12,966 So about all this, 440 00:18:13,174 --> 00:18:14,551 I may have purchased a dating simulator 441 00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,595 that attained sentience and went crazy. 442 00:18:16,761 --> 00:18:17,929 Oh, I am crazy. 443 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,765 Crazy for you, Soos. 444 00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:22,976 Ah! 445 00:18:23,184 --> 00:18:24,519 Oh, no. 446 00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:26,396 Oh, I'm so sorry, Melody! I'll fix this! 447 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:27,981 It's me that she wants. 448 00:18:28,189 --> 00:18:30,358 I'll distract her while Dipper and Mabel keep you safe. 449 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,027 It's the only way. 450 00:18:32,235 --> 00:18:33,612 Soos, these are children. 451 00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:35,989 The only way! 452 00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:38,658 Over here, Giffany! 453 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:39,784 Stop! 454 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:46,374 On three, we split. 455 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:48,585 One, two- 456 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,173 Stay back, you monster! 457 00:18:53,381 --> 00:18:54,716 Ah! 458 00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:06,645 Yes, yes, get him, Goldie, get him. 459 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,654 I'm gonna eat your face like pizza. 460 00:19:26,581 --> 00:19:28,708 I have got you surrounded, Soos. 461 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,919 There is no way out. 462 00:19:31,127 --> 00:19:32,545 Please, let my friends go. 463 00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:34,673 I'll do anything you want. I promise. 464 00:19:34,839 --> 00:19:37,717 I seem to remember someone promising 465 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:40,512 he will be my boyfriend. 466 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:43,473 Think about it, real girls are unpredictable, 467 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,226 they judge you. 468 00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:49,229 You really think Melody is going to take you back 469 00:19:49,437 --> 00:19:51,564 after this awful date? 470 00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:56,486 I can download your brain into the game with me 471 00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,905 and we will be together forever. 472 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,031 Ah! 473 00:20:01,616 --> 00:20:02,450 Stay back. 474 00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:03,868 Come on, Soos. 475 00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:07,414 Don't make me to leave you, too. 476 00:20:07,622 --> 00:20:08,748 What do you say? 477 00:20:09,874 --> 00:20:12,335 I say, game over, Giffany! 478 00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:14,921 No! Wait! 479 00:20:35,650 --> 00:20:36,401 You did it! 480 00:20:36,609 --> 00:20:37,819 You old, beautiful monster! 481 00:20:38,027 --> 00:20:39,279 You did it! 482 00:20:39,487 --> 00:20:41,197 How's about you and me hit the town? 483 00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:43,867 These old has-beens are going to Vegas! 484 00:20:49,038 --> 00:20:50,457 I'm sorry for all this. 485 00:20:50,665 --> 00:20:51,916 I honestly remember this place being a lot more fun 486 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,460 when I was a kid. 487 00:20:53,668 --> 00:20:55,879 Believe it or not, I've been on worse dates. 488 00:20:56,087 --> 00:20:56,880 Really? 489 00:20:57,088 --> 00:20:58,214 Never date a magician. 490 00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,592 Ew! Why would I? 491 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,594 Oh, hey, you wouldn't maybe be interested 492 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:03,636 in coming to my cousin's 493 00:21:03,803 --> 00:21:05,138 engagement party in a week? 494 00:21:05,346 --> 00:21:07,891 I promise there is like zero robot badgers. 495 00:21:08,099 --> 00:21:10,226 Yeah, I'll still be in town then. 496 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:11,770 Still be in town? 497 00:21:11,978 --> 00:21:13,938 I'm going back home to Portland in a few weeks 498 00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,357 but we can video chat, if that's okay with you? 499 00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:17,692 A relationship with a girl 500 00:21:17,901 --> 00:21:19,819 that I can only see through my computer, 501 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:22,363 sounds perfect. 502 00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:25,700 Spirit of love, we did it. 503 00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:28,369 Yes, yes, I'm so happy. 504 00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:30,538 Have you been following us all day? 505 00:21:30,747 --> 00:21:32,916 Soos's life is my soap opera. 506 00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:36,628 ♪ Cash money! ♪ 507 00:21:36,836 --> 00:21:37,796 ♪ Cash money ♪ 508 00:21:37,962 --> 00:21:40,924 ♪ In the car with honey ♪ 509 00:21:41,132 --> 00:21:44,511 ♪ Travel way too fast, I got money in my glass ♪ 510 00:21:44,677 --> 00:21:46,221 ♪ Cash money ♪ 511 00:21:46,429 --> 00:21:47,555 ♪ Grab ♪ 512 00:21:47,722 --> 00:21:49,557 ♪ You can't stop the party ♪ 513 00:21:49,724 --> 00:21:50,975 ♪ Cash money ♪ 514 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:53,228 ♪ We're old but we're awesome ♪ 515 00:21:53,436 --> 00:21:55,730 ♪ We're gonna get married ♪ 516 00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:58,233 ♪ It's a great idea ♪ 517 00:21:58,399 --> 00:22:01,361 ♪ Who are you to judge? ♪ 518 00:22:01,569 --> 00:22:03,154 ♪ This was a mistake, what-- ♪ 34314

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