Original subtitles

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider. She didn't care if the whole world looked.

Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her. She was a sister who really could.

Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't you glad she showed up?

Oh, yeah.

And when the country was falling apart, Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

And Betsy Ross.

And then there's Maude. And then there's Maude. And then there's Maude. And then

there's Maude. And then there's Maude. And then there's Maude. That

uncompromising, enterprising, anything but tranquilizing. No, no, Maude.

Okay, then it's all settled. We'll see that new murder mystery at the Orpheus.

Oh, good. I love Warren Beatty. And I love Julie Christie.

Oh, and I love Paul Newman.

Paul Newman isn't in this movie. I know. I just like to talk about how much I

love Paul Newman.

Maybe Philip would like to come with us.

He can't. No, he's at a football game with his father.

Vernon? Vernon took Philip to a football game?

Yeah, how do you like that, Bob?

He divorced Carol 13 years ago, and all of a sudden he starts showing an

interest in his son. He's also showing an interest in Carol.

He's been sending her flowers all week, and tonight he said he wants to talk to

her when he brings Philip back after the game.

I'll get it, Mother.

Okay, honey.

Boy, I remember how charming that Vernon always was.

That was the problem. He was so untrustworthy, so unreliable, but so

charming.

I remember the first time Carol brought him to the house. She was only 17.

One glance at his boyish good looks, those soft brown eyes, his winning

and he swept me off my feet. The next thing I knew, Carol was pregnant.

Well, look, we don't want to be late for the movie. It says that they don't let

anybody in after the first ten minutes. All right, I'll just go get my coat.

More roses from Vernon?

Three dozen this time.

The card says, to a beautiful lady.

I'll have to thank him when he brings Philip home.

Carol, I look at you looking at these roses, and I'm worried about what I see.

What do you mean?

Well, that little smile on your face is exactly the same smile you used to get

when you were a little girl, and I'd let you lick the frosting fan.

And every time you look at those roses, your eyes bulge out to here. And

speaking of that, must you wear that sweater?

What's wrong with my sweater? I just put it on so I look nice when Philip gets

here. Sweaters like that that got Philip here in the first place.

I'm sorry, honey. It's just that I remember all the hurt that Vernon put

through. I know. And I don't want to see you hurt again. Honey, you're such a

pushover for him. Look, he is a terrible father, and he was a rotten husband.

Mother, look, I know you mean well, but try to give Vernon a chance.

He has a terrific job now as sales manager at Hunsacker Motors. That's the

biggest used car lot in the country.

And he's even seeing a therapist.

I think he's changed.

Nobody changes that much. I did.

I believe in change. Good. Then go up and change that sweater.

Look, Mother, aren't you overreacting to this thing? No, I am not.

His interest, the flowers, the phone calls. Look, I may be crazy. I have a

feeling that Vernon just may ask you to marry him again.

What if he does?

Oh, come on, Carol. You wouldn't seriously consider it.

I might.

Look, Carol, I am staying here in this house with you tonight so that you don't

make a fool of yourself again. And you can do something to help.

What? Go up and change that sweater.

Come

on,

Warby. Can't be late for that movie. Where's your coat? I'm not going.

Oh, Ma, now you have to go. I'm sorry. I cannot leave my daughter alone with

Vernon Traynor. It's just too dangerous.

That man can charm the birds right out of the trees.

In fact, later tonight when he comes up the walk, you'll probably hear a lot of

birds hitting the pavement.

Maude, everybody says this is the best murder mystery in years. They say you're

on the edge of your seat every minute. There's just so many twists and turns,

and the ending is a complete surprise.

Doesn't it sound great, Maude? Oh, boy, the audience just goes crazy when they

find out that Julie Christie is the one who murdered Warren Beatty.

Want to go see Star Wars again, Arthur?

Look, everybody have fun.

Let's go over to my house and play bumper pool.

But don't you guys care how the movie turns out? Bumper pool, Vivian. Oh, I

that.

Hello, Vernon.

Hi, Carol.

Why, it's Maude.

For a moment there, I thought you were Carol.

But, of course, you always looked so young.

You know, I remember my friend saying, you made a mistake, Vern. You should

married the mother.

You look absolutely fabulous, Martin. I love what you're doing with your hair

now. It's so becoming.

Now, Martin, what are you doing?

Oh, I thought I just heard a bird fall out of a tree.

Uh, where's Philip?

Oh, he'll be in in a minute. I'm just letting him drive my Jaguar back and

in the driveway. Your Jaguar.

Hmm. You must be doing pretty well at Hunsacker. Well, it's not a new one.

It's just a 76.

Got to get me where I'm going. Aunt Phillip is crazy about it. Maude, I

tell you how terrific you look.

How do you manage to keep your body so young and firm?

Look, Vernon, I'm going to tell you right now. It is not going to work. Not

me and not on Carol.

What's not going to work? Oh, come on. Come on, the flattery, the flowers, the

smiles. Look, Carol is a great deal stronger than she used to be. She's not

going to be taken in by a few bouquets of flowers.

That particular bouquet of flowers was meant for you.

What are you talking about?

The card says to a beautiful lady.

Well?

I thought that

shade of roses would bring out the laughter in your eyes.

Oh, look, Vernon, this is not going to work.

Hi, Grandma.

Hi, Phillip.

That car sure is neat. I bet it costs a lot of money.

Well, I always say, why spend $5 ,000 on a car when for another 10 or 12 grand

you can get something you really like?

I think I've heard the Shah of Iran give that same advice.

I gotta tell Mom about Dad's car. Where is she? She's up in her room. Oh, wait

till I tell her. Mom!

He's quite a boy.

You've done a wonderful job with him, Maude. You and Carol.

Well... It's mostly Carol. After all, she's his mother.

Yes, of course, but I see things in Philip that could only come from you.

His wit, his probing intelligence, his keen analytical mind.

Of course, Carol is away a lot.

Philip and I spend a great deal of time together. Perhaps some small portion of

me is rubbed off. Oh, look, Vernon, I'm telling you right now.

I am staying in this house. I am not about to leave you alone with Carol. Oh,

good.

Good. Maude, I have something special to talk to Carol about tonight, and it

would be a great help if you would stay here. We could both benefit from your

advice. You really want me here when you're talking about marriage?

You see how perceptive you are. You know that I want to talk about marriage.

Maude, you are incredible.

I mean, here you are, this attractive woman with a brilliant mind, and yet you

manage to balance all that with a warm and loving nature. You're just...

A beautiful human being, Maude.

Carol Vernon's here. Put the sweater back on.

Here she is. Doesn't she look wonderful?

Hello, Vernon.

Carol, you look smashing.

She still makes those great cookies, Vernon.

Philip is all excited about your new car.

And he tells me you want to take him camping next weekend.

That's right. On horseback.

Actually, that's part of what I want to talk about tonight.

Why don't you two talk, and I'll just sneak out to the kitchen.

No, Maude, I want you to stay. Please, I meant that.

Well, all right, but just for a minute.

What's going on, Vernon?

Okay, I'll get right to the point.

Carol, I've been thinking about Philip.

I look at him, and I see a fine young man.

I want another chance to be a small part of his life. You know what I mean?

I know.

I want to be there for his first shave, for the first time he falls in love, for

that phone call that brings him his first disappointment. You can understand

I want that, can't you, Carol? Of course, Vernon.

Mother, I'm Carol.

Well, of course, Carol.

Look, Vernon, before you go on, I want you to know that getting married again

a very big step.

It demands some long, hard thinking.

I know.

And believe me, Veronica and I have discussed it in depth.

Veronica?

You're a therapist.

No, my fiancée.

Veronica Hunthacker. Her dad owns Hunthacker Motors. She's a great gal,

She's good for me.

Your fiancé.

Well,

I'm very happy for the two of you.

Oh, thanks. And Carol, when Veronica and I get married, we want Philip to come

and live with us.

You want Philip to live with you? Hey, I know this is sudden. Look, I want you

to think about it.

Maybe you could have an answer for me on Friday when I come to pick up Philip

for our camping trip.

Veronica's going to be coming along.

I want her to have a chance to get acquainted with the little guy.

Say goodbye to him for me, will you? So this is why all the flowers, the back

child support, all the attention.

Well, Carol, just keep in mind that Veronica and I can offer Philip quite a

I mean, Dad Huntlaker's very well fit.

Let's try to think of what's best for Philip, hmm?

Maude, I still can't get over it. Stay as lovely as you are.

Well, Vernon has done it again.

Yep.

But at least this time you won't get pregnant.

Philip home from school yet? Yep.

He's upstairs packing for his camping trip.

Vernon's going to be picking him up in about 20 minutes.

Oh, Mother, I don't know what to do.

I haven't been able to sleep all week. I can't make a decision.

Honey, I've been wrestling with the same problem, but I finally realized one

thing. We cannot think of ourselves.

We have to do what is best for Philip. And what is best for Philip? We poison

his mind against his father and lock him up in the house.

Woo! Phillip has enough stuff here.

Boy, Dad sure has some great ideas.

Just imagine camping on horseback. And he says if I like the horse, he's going

to buy it for me. Now, look, you better be careful. You know, you're going to

get spoiled.

Well, what's wrong with being spoiled?

Walter. What, what, what?

Are you busy tonight?

No, why?

I'd like you to go out and buy Phillip a Jaguar.

Are you crazy? Do you know how much those things cost?

Walter, why spend $5 ,000 for a car when for an extra 10 or 12 grand we can get

Philip something he really likes?

Come to think of it, I am busy tonight.

Cheapskate.

Mother, I am trying to make an objective decision and you're not helping.

I'm sorry, dear.

How can I help?

Don't you understand? I don't know what to do.

Sweetheart, this is why you need my help. No, I'm the one who has to make

decision. Please, just leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone. That's the thanks a mother gets.

Leave me alone.

By chance, I'll leave you alone.

Oh, Vivian, thank God you're here. I need your advice.

You need my advice? Yes, I'm checking.

I am desperate.

Maud, you never ask me for advice.

Vernon wants Philip to come and live with him after he and Veronica Hunsaker

married.

Maud, I'm just so flattered that you asked me for advice.

I never dreamed I'd ever hear you say those words.

Vivian, I want your advice.

Oh, Carol doesn't know what to do.

Of course, I have very strong feelings, but I don't know whether I should

interfere.

Boy, wait till Sheila Hackett hears you ask me for advice.

On the one hand, I don't want to offend Carol, but on the other, I don't want to

risk losing Philip.

She'll never believe it.

It is all right if I tell Sheila Hacks.

Of course, in the past, I... I have always let Carol make her own decisions,

I'm very happy with the way she turned out.

Maude, this is such a proud moment for me.

Maybe this is another instance where I should just stay out of it and let Carol

make her own decision in spite of what's at stake.

I just hope I'm worthy of the...

Sacred trust is placed on my shoulders.

That's it. That's the answer.

I'll stay out of it and let Carol make her own decision, and I know she'll do

the right thing.

Oh, Vivian, thank you.

I'm so relieved.

Maude, I want to thank you for seeking me out and allowing me to help you with

this problem.

so glad you came back down. I have something to tell you.

Vivian just gave me some wonderful advice.

Well, Mother, I have something to tell you, too.

Carol, I want you to know that I am not going to pressure you.

Philip is your son, and the decision is yours.

Mother, and I just decided that you should have a say in this.

Philip is so close to you.

Oh, Mother, I need your help.

Carol. Oh, Carol, I can't tell you how proud it makes me feel to hear

you say that.

Mother, I need your help.

Wait till I tell Sheila Hackett.

Why did I just say Sheila Hackett?

Terribly if he went with Vernon, but maybe I'm being selfish.

I mean, maybe a boy needs the example of a man during these years.

I guess basically it's just up to what Philip wants.

I'm afraid you're right. It's up to him.

Oh, Mother, it's so scary. What if he wants to go live with Vernon?

Oh, honey, I know.

I know.

So long, Lord.

I'm getting out of here before Vernon shows up.

I hate to see Philip going away with him.

I also hate to see the way you women fall for his phony charm.

Come on, the guy's a shower door. I see right through him.

Vernon. Walter, hello.

Where did you get that tie?

You like it?

Well, did you pick it out yourself, or did your tailor suggest it to go with

this great sport -coating major?

No, I actually bought this coat off the rack.

No, really?

Well, of course, it's easy for you to wear off -the -rack stuff. You've got

athlete's build. Broad shoulders, narrow hips.

Yeah, I guess I usually look pretty good in clothes.

Pretty good. Are you kidding me?

Walter, that's the first thing I ever noticed about you. In fact, I always

figured it was the terrific way you dress, along with your keen, competitive

mind, that made you one of the major business forces in Tuckahoe.

Philip, hurry up! Your father doesn't have all night!

See you, Vernon.

Walter, watch out for falling birds.

in the whole wide world. Come on now, we don't have time for this nonsense.

Tell him what we've decided about Philip.

Well, Vernon, I have thought long and hard and I've come to a decision.

But not alone.

I was lucky enough to have the advice and support of my mother.

Carol.

Oh, Carol, I can't tell you how warm it makes me feel to hear you say that.

Oh, wait till I tell Sheila.

Why do I keep talking about Philip?

Look, Carol, before you go on, I just want you to know that however you decide

to handle this thing is perfectly all right with me. I mean, I trust your

judgment completely. I go with you 100%. Good.

I've decided to let Philip make up his own mind.

That's really dumb.

I mean, what if he chooses me?

What do you mean? I thought that's what you wanted.

Well, see, I sort of jumped the gun a little here. Now, when Veronica said

she'd love to have Philip around, I thought she meant right away, as soon as

got married.

But as it turns out, she meant later, after we get back from our cruise.

What cruise?

Well, after we get married, we're going on a little two -year cruise around the

world.

And I certainly can't have Philip along on my honeymoon with Veronica.

Why not? You had him along on your honeymoon with Carol.

What a sense of humor.

Look, Vernon, isn't it going to be a little awkward on this camping trip? I

mean, you've already asked Philip to come live with you. Now you say Veronica

doesn't want him. Yeah, I know. I thought of that. But don't worry. I've

with a solution.

I'm canceling the camping trip.

What? You are what?

Well, hey, I don't want Philip to feel uncomfortable.

He's a sensitive kid.

Vernon, Philip has been looking forward to this camping trip for a week. I know.

I know.

And that's why...

I hope you two will be gentle when you break it to him.

He loves you, too. But then, of course, who doesn't? I mean, you're certainly my

favorites. Vernon. You're two beautiful people. I love you both. Love you both.

Vernon, just a minute.

What? I love your hair that way. If anybody tries to change it, I'm going to

break his arm.

Hey, have a nice day.

He is incapable of change.

Unreliable.

Irresponsible. Except for that part about my hair, I don't think there was

sincere honest word.

Honey, your dad had to cancel the camping trip.

Oh, darn.

It's because of business.

Yeah, he, uh, he has to work this weekend.

Boy, Dad sure is flipping.

Usually he comes up with a better excuse than that.

Phillip, what are you saying?

Well, you know, Dad, I never expect him to come through on anything he says.

Honey, you don't. Are you kidding? The great charmer? It's like all those times

he asked me to come live with him. I know he doesn't mean it.

And besides, I'd never leave you, Mom.

You really do know your

father, don't you?

Oh, sure. He's a great guy, and I love him.

But let's face it, I'd never want to buy a used car from him.

Now I better unpack some of my stuff.

Did you hear that?

Did you hear my son?

Your grandson?

He really knows how to take care of himself.

Oh, honey, I just can't tell you how proud I am of him.

Who are you calling?

I can't wait to tell Sheila.

then it's all settled. We'll go to see that new love story with Faye Dunaway

Dustin Hoffman. It's supposed to be the most romantic picture of the year.

Hold it!

Vivian, have you seen the movie?

No. Has anyone told you about this picture?

No. Have you read any reviews or been on a bus where two people were casually

discussing the picture?

No. Good. Then that's the movie we're going to.

I don't want to go.

But Cupcake...

I thought you loved Faye Dunaway.

I do.

That's why I don't want to see a movie where she dies at the end.

I thought you said you knew nothing about this picture.

I don't, but Sheila Hackett read the book and she told me all about it.

I'll kill her.

I swear I'll kill her.

I'll...

VOD was recorded on videotape before a studio audience.