Original subtitles

Remember me?

At one point, I was one of the most hated people in America.

There was tabloid drama, protests, magazine covers, interviews, paparazzi,

death threats.

You think you know me, but you know a character created by the media.

You might think you know Optimum, but you don't know me.

Okay, Nadia, let's get those seven babies out of there and into your arms,

right?

Okay. You ready?

Are you?

Yes, we are.

Make sure to give us plenty of space to work, all right? This may be a cool

surgery for you, but my best friend is having her baby today.

Yes, she is.

Let's get started.

Baby A is coming out.

Good boy.

Noah! Here you go.

It's a girl.

It's Malia.

Baby C, a boy.

And baby D, a girl.

Isaiah and Nariah. Oh, my gosh.

Baby E, baby F, and finally, baby G.

All boys.

You did it.

Let's close up.

Are they healthy? Are they all healthy? They certainly are.

Congratulations.

Hey, everybody stop.

I feel another baby.

What? We have baby H, male.

That can't be.

We need another team now.

There can't be.

There definitely is.

You just hold on, Nadia. We're going to get you through this.

Here we go, folks.

When can I see my baby? You need to be able to stand up. Just rest now.

Yeah, having eight babies ripped out of you is no joke.

It's wonderful luck you know eight babies on Chinese New Year.

I'll come back later.

I need another car seat.

Yeah, you do.

What's happening out there?

Just the whole country excited to meet the babies? Yeah, the whole country. How

funny. I'm not joking.

The press can't stop talking about the eight and their octomom. Ugh, what's an

octomom?

It's you.

In closing, the theory of intergenerational trauma acknowledges

extremely adverse events affects an individual to such a great extent that

offspring find themselves... grappling with their parents' post -traumatic

years after the event.

Thank you, Nadia.

Okay, we will continue to discuss the ramifications of this theory next week.

Hey, great work today.

Thank you.

Sounded pretty personal for you.

It is.

My mother was a World War II refugee.

She grew up in a displaced person's camp, so she wouldn't describe it as

but it was definitely part of her experience.

Oh, I have to run and pick up my kids from the campus daycare before it

I have two of my own.

They're 11 and 5.

How old are yours?

Oh, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, and 2.

Six children under the age of 6 and straight A's?

Are you magic?

I wish.

Then maybe I could get them all to nap at the same time.

That's right. I had six children from IVF before I had the eight.

I tried it the old -fashioned way at first. My partner and I tried to get

pregnant, but it never happened for us.

I struggled with infertility for a long time, and it started to feel unfair to

him like I was using him.

I felt called to be a mother, not a wife.

So we went our separate ways, and I found a fertility doctor to make my

come true, and I had my first six kids.

Don't judge me.

Yet.

I'm going to get you.

Eddie, we're leaving. Don't chase them. Tell him to finish his dinner.

I'll let them play.

I bet you don't miss this noise in Iraq.

I miss it. Everything in Iraq.

Oh, he has a funny way of showing it. Calls as rare as his visits these days.

Being an interpreter is a very difficult job. Watch your siblings, Amira.

Okay, Mom.

I must be very focused on my job. People die if I'm not. Such an important job.

Being a military interpreter is an important job.

I actually got you a gift, Nadia.

Thank you.

It's gorgeous.

You spoil her and you always have.

Remember that ridiculous dollhouse you bought her when she was little? It could

barely fit through the door. I love that dollhouse.

All the little custom furniture and the figures look just like her.

I don't know how you could have afforded it. We couldn't.

Why not? She is my hard -working, smart girl and she deserves it. If she's so

smart, what is she doing with six kids that she can't support?

Angela. Okay.

You're not here for long. Let's try and enjoy it.

Can you read to us?

Sure thing.

Wait up till we do baths, okay?

Okay.

Twins are out of the bath.

Thanks. I'll grab their PJs.

It doesn't help to fixate on Aiden's disability.

I'm not.

He looked at Calissa again, just like you when you were little.

He's too young to know any better. You need to start disciplining him, Nadia.

From the start.

Don't make the mistake that we made with you. We were too permissive.

I was your baby. You're one and only.

We did you no favors by indulging you.

Maybe I lashed out because I was lonely.

That's ridiculous.

I think Caleb is disconnected from the other kids. He's a toddler, Nadia.

I know, but I just feel it. It's Mother's intuition.

Don't go searching for problems.

If someone is lonely in this house, it's not Caleb.

Thanks for your help, Mom.

How are you not completely exhausted?

I love my classes.

No, I meant the kids. Having one kid is hard enough, and I have a partner to

help. Well, if you ask my mom, I had no business having six kids.

Family dinner didn't go well?

Well, Eddie sat quietly sipping.

My mother certainly wasn't quiet.

I thought your parents were separated.

They are, but it's complicated.

Even when I was growing up, my dad was away all the time. I felt like my mom

resented me for being around all the time.

I'm such a different person with the kids. Much warmer.

Grandmas always are.

I know that you moved in to save money for IVF, but now that you're done, have

you thought about getting your own place?

You are done having kids, right?

I just think older kids are kind of their own pack.

And Caleb's on his own, and I see him trying to connect, and no one really

him. But Nadja, he's still a baby.

I know, but I feel so bad. I have to do something.

I can't just... Watch him suffer.

I feel so guilty.

Guilty about what?

About Aiden and how his disability affects Caleb.

His autism is not your fault.

I'm their mother.

I just can't bear to watch any of them suffer.

They're not suffering.

You are.

Well, I have enough saved for one more round of IVF.

Seven has always been my lucky number.

You've had a baby every year for the last five years. Your hormones must be

going bonkers. Are you sure you're thinking clearly?

Yeah, I'm not saying I'm going to do it. I just wanted to talk it out.

Well, who's to say the kid's donor won't give you any more material?

I have all the material.

I just need to ask him for his permission.

Please, it's just one more time.

You don't even have to do anything except sign off on letting me use the

embryos we already have in storage.

Look, one more baby and I'm done.

For good.

No one will know.

I'm not trying to blow up your life. Just one more cycle.

Okay, I can buy sperm if I have to, but I'd rather not.

They're my frozen embryos, too.

Will you think about it?

Okay.

Okay.

Trouble sleeping?

Yes.

We can stay up with you if you want. We can watch some TV or we can talk.

No. No.

One of us needs to rest to be up early with the kids.

I'll be fine.

I really don't mind.

Can I get you a cup?

The kids will be up soon. We can chat.

Sure. Thank you.

It's quiet before the storm is my favorite time.

Yeah.

If you have something to say, spit it out, Nadia.

I was just wondering if you could pick up the kids from school later.

Why?

I have an important study group. I'll still be home to make dinner.

Do what you will.

Are you sure about this?

Positive.

What the hell was I thinking, right?

At the time, I felt like a seventh baby would complete my family.

If I could handle six, then seven would be a breeze.

I can see the immaturity in that plan now.

But many parents suffering through guilt and grief, they make decisions to

lessen their pain and suffering.

I chose to soothe my pain by having one more baby.

One more, not eight.

He seems really popular.

Dr. Kamrava is the best.

He always implants a few extra embryos, so it really increases the odds of one

or two developing.

How many is the few extra?

Four or five.

Aren't you worried about having that many implanted? Dr.

Kamrava says multiples are rare. He always implants six, and I've only had

once.

Nadia.

Nadia.

Unfortunately, you had strong uterine contractions after the implantation.

The embryologist may believe the initial six embryos have been expelled.

What?

You want to implant the other six and double transfer.

What?

They found this release of liability.

They're all gone? I need your permission to continue.

It's up to you.

Pretty sure.

Thanks for your jogging.

You just did IVF?

I'm past the two -week window.

No, I meant for me. I don't want to stop.

It's safe to be active.

And it's good for the soul.

I'll trust you. You're the therapist.

Almost therapist.

When do you find out if you're pregnant?

Soon. But I'm feeling pretty confident, actually.

Yeah? Is that what all the training is about?

The training to run away from your mom when she finds out?

Pretty much.

Congratulations.

I knew it.

This will be my seventh.

And seven's my lucky number.

How do you feel about numbers eight and nine?

What do you mean?

Well, based on these HCG levels, it looks like you're having more than one

How can you be sure about that?

Well, your HCG levels with the twins were 100.

What is it now?

640.

How many embryos did they implant?

Six.

And what does your primary obstetrician think about that?

I go to a health co -op, so I've been assigned a different OB for each of my

pregnancies. Well, you're going to want one OB tracking this one.

I follow all my doctor's recommendations religiously, and luckily all of my

other pregnancies were OBs. This will not be like your other pregnancies. The

multiples makes this a high -risk pregnancy.

I take excellent care of myself.

Implanting six embryos is not taking good care.

It's dangerous.

Just because you implanted six doesn't mean they all take.

Look, at this early stage, the body has a way of adjusting these numbers

sometimes. But I do want to monitor you closely.

I'll be your OB for these babies.

The entire time. Every appointment.

We'll stick together.

That sound okay?

Sounds great.

Nadia, whoever the doctor was that led you to believe these pregnancies were

safe, they deserve to lose their license.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry.

Beth is right. I don't know why I keep saying that when all I really want to

is I love you so much. You're so wanted just as you are.

I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry.

That explains the bleeding.

Seven heartbeats.

How many babies were you hoping for?

One.

I really wish you had some support here.

There is a lot to consider.

Bleeding is just one of the complications that comes with a multiple

The chances of you carrying these babies to term is very, very slim.

That's why implanting so many embryos is so dangerous.

Is there anything I can do to ensure they're healthy?

Yes.

You can reduce a few to protect the safety of the others.

Selected reduction?

No. I may have only planned for one child, but all of these babies are

All of them. What happened to following the advice of your doctor?

I won't select which babies to kill.

I won't. You could die, Nadia.

There is no precedent for this.

I'm thinking about your safety and of your babies.

I strongly believe in a woman's right to choose, and this is my choice.

Now I will ask again.

What can I do to keep them all healthy?

Pray.

I think I was in denial.

Who was I to add seven kids to my six?

Thirteen kids as a single mother?

I had to push all fear out of my mind and suppress my emotions. I treated this

pregnancy the same as my earlier ones.

Business as usual.

You cannot hide this anymore.

I just wanted one more baby.

Just?

You are such a selfish child.

You already have six children.

I can't handle another baby here. I'll move out as soon as I can. Really?

I'll go back to my old job as soon as my disability ends. Yes, back to the

psychiatric hospital where you broke your back in a patient riot.

You will have seven children relying on you. It has nothing to do with you.

People will need my help.

The way you always have? No. I appreciate your help, but I don't need

Stop lying to yourself.

And what about Aiden? I'd do everything for Aiden.

I know you aren't devoted to him, but can't you see that having another baby

will make it harder for you to focus on him and the other children? I was an

only child, and you never focused on me. You gave the stray cats in the

neighborhood more attention.

Have a beautiful family.

You did not need one more to complete it.

I stand by my choices.

Hard as that might be for you to accept.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I just overdid it.

Trying to shop early.

Are you due soon?

Three months to go.

I know I'm huge.

But then it never sleeps, right?

Wow.

I haven't seen you from this angle before. How are you only six months?

huge.

Gee, thanks.

Seven babies. I can't wrap my mind around it.

Look, you are the sister I never had, and I love you with all my heart. But

maybe we could wrap in silence for once.

I hear you, but come on. You've got to be freaking out. I'm freaking out. I

haven't thought of anything else since you told me. Just admit it already.

Fine. Fine, I'm freaking out. Thank you.

I'm terrified.

But if anyone could handle it, it's me.

I talk to campus daycare, and they normally don't take children as young as

mine, but they're making an exception.

You think you're going to go back to school after the babies are born?

Yeah, why wouldn't I?

For starters, you're going to have 13 kids under the age of six, seven of whom

will be newborns. I have to finish my master's to get a better job.

I think you're being a little naive, not... Thinking that life is going to

change once the babies are here. I mean, just think of the logistics. How are

you going to drive them places?

I'll get a passenger van.

Can you even afford that? I don't know.

Are you okay?

Angela!

Oh,

you don't have to do that.

You rest.

You need to be calm and quiet for those babies.

Thank you so much.

She's in there.

And I read her file.

She's on disability for a back injury, and she already has six kids.

Imagine being disabled and carrying seven babies.

I'm still recovering from my last pregnancy, and it was one baby.

This lady has no business having more kids.

I hope they all survive the birth.

Thank you so much for watching the kids the last minute, Mom.

You were taken away in an ambulance.

What choice did I have?

I miss them so much. Maybe you could bring them by to see me later. This is

you have to say to me?

Have to lie to me for months? I told you I was pregnant. I just never specified

how many babies I would carry.

You're just like your father, talking yourself into circles.

Thirteen children to feed.

14 if you count your father.

What is your plan for this? I'll figure it out.

We just need to focus on their safety in utero. And after?

Seven courses.

Where will seven babies sleep?

When will we sleep? I'll figure all that out during my rest.

Rest?

How long will you be doing this? Rest?

They broke my ribs.

The babies can't get the room they need in there.

I'll be here until I give birth.

You want me to care for the sick alone?

No, no, I'm hiring two nannies to help you. With what money?

I've cashed in all my vacation and sick time. I want to do everything I can to

maintain some normalcy.

Spending your days with nannies.

The six of them barely get the attention they need from you now. But this isn't

what I wanted. The doctor said the other embryos were lost. He put in six more.

Is anything ever your fault?

I'm doing the best I can.

You're just panicking because you're scared.

You should be scared, too. I am.

I don't know how I'll survive being away from the kids.

What's missing inside of you, Nadia?

I will take care of the children.

Thank you.

But I will not be back to see you.

And I want nothing to do with you, baby.

Being in the hospital before the birth of the Epteplets was the longest month

my life.

The nanny would drop the kids off to see me.

Three one day, three the next day, but true to her word, my mom never came to

visit. With the first six, I craved meat.

But with these babies, all I wanted was fresh fruit, vegetables, and gallons of

water. I had terrible migraines every day, but I refused to take anything. I

determined to do everything I could to keep these babies healthy.

That included working on my own mental health.

I had battled anxiety my whole life.

I managed it typically with exercise, but since that wasn't possible, I turned

to writing and prayer.

So excited to meet my babies.

So scared.

Hi, Nadia.

I'm Lara. I work in public relations for the hospital.

How's your statement?

Oh, good.

Tired of being in this bed.

Well, I have something for you to look forward to.

Something more exciting than my babies being born?

I would say equally as exciting.

The hospital would like to schedule a small press conference after the birth.

I'm not sure that's equally as exciting, but okay.

I am here to give you a list of publicity experts so you can choose one

to represent you.

Why would I even need a press conference?

People will be very interested in this birth.

It will take nearly 46 nurses, doctors, and specialists.

It's really quite impressive.

I may doubt anyone would really be interested. People have babies every

I think you'll be surprised how big a story this is going to be.

Maybe because it's not a story to me.

My real life.

Baby F.

Baby G.

You did it.

Close up.

Are they healthy? Are they all healthy? They certainly are.

Okay, everybody stop.

I feel another baby.

What? We have baby H, male.

Baby. We need another team now.

He's been hiding behind his siblings.

You got another name on deck? No, I don't. I can't have any babies.

You've got this. And we have seven cars.

The car seat will come right now.

His baby needs a name.

Makai.

Sounds good.

You did great, Nadia.

It's me.

There are actually eight babies.

How much will you pay for details?

That'll work.

I was in so much pain from the C -section and in a complete fog of

I refused to take strong pain medication because I was trying to breastfeed

through pumping as much as I could. And being in that much constant pain fed my

anxiety. I struggled to sleep, but when I finally did, it wasn't restful.

The days after the birth, I felt like I was sleepwalking.

All I could think about were my kids.

I just wanted to get home and get back to normal life.

I didn't realize that the life I once knew was over.

I don't think I can keep up with the breastfeeding.

We're actually working on that.

Several mothers have donated breast milk for 80 years. They have?

They're fighting for airspace out there.

These ladies are just excited to be a small part of your story.

How did they even know I had eight babies? I'd never told anyone.

Heard about the babies.

Yes, yes.

Congratulations. Thank you.

My innovative techniques have been valuable to you, yes?

I wouldn't have any of my kids without you.

Exactly. We were partners in your journey to motherhood, weren't we?

We made choices together.

Uh, yes, we did.

Are you in some kind of trouble?

There will likely be questions about the number of embryos you were implanted

with. You don't want such questions during this busy time.

I guess the initial six weren't expelled after all.

This is what I'm saying.

Conversations of that nature could hamper my ability to help other women,

yourself, desperate to have children.

Would they shut you down?

They don't understand what I do, what I provide, our risks involved with any

medical procedure.

But they would question my integrity.

I'm sure they would.

I just want... to make sure you understood that it was the fifth total.

No more.

There was no double transfer.

Some of them must have split to get eight. This happens sometimes.

I don't want this to happen to anyone else.

Multiples are rare, but they do happen.

The embryologist and I encouraged you to selectively reduce as needed.

Perhaps your memory of this is fuzzy.

No.

I'll never forget what happened.

Think of the other mothers.

Think of their children.

We implanted the six embryos as usual. Some of them must split.

Thank you, Nadia.

Okay, I regret covering for him.

But I was drowning in hormones.

And I didn't know then what I know now.

He would later admit to the medical board that he did indeed implant 12

He told the board that I begged him to.

Later, he admitted to going ahead with in vitro fertilization after discovering

abnormal cells in another patient. Turns out she had stage 3 cancer and had to

have her uterus and ovaries removed before undergoing chemo.

He said he was too distracted to follow up on that patient's care.

In 2011, Dr. Kamrava lost his medical license from medical malpractice and

negligence and was barred from ever practicing medicine in the U .S.

I deeply regret lying for him, but I regret not suing him even more.

I wasn't expecting so many guests today.

I'm not a guest. I'm Gail Johnson, your new publicist. And I'm very excited you

chose my name off the list to represent you. I said you were a professor.

I teach occasionally, but I'm much more than that.

I'm an expert in these matters.

What matters?

Shaping a narrative.

The hospital wants to hold a press conference to clear up any

and I think it's important to have you there.

We just want to let people know that the IVF procedure you had is not affiliated

with our hospital or doctors. Our only role was to bring the babies safely into

the world. I'm not interested in a press conference. Are you working for me or

the hospital?

You.

But... Our ideals are very much aligned.

The safety of you and your babies.

I don't know if you're aware, but there's been death threats.

People want me dead?

You and the babies.

That's sick.

Who would do that? Who would say something like that? The threats have

turned over to the police, but people are very angry.

Angry you can have babies and they can't, or that you don't have a job and

you have 14 kids.

How would they even know about my employment status? This is what they do.

a press conference will help dispel any gossip or rumors.

Your name is plastered everywhere.

Octomom.

Octomom.

Octomom. Who even came up with that name?

Are you a writer?

I don't know if I'm a writer, but I'm writing about this experience that's

helping me process things.

Well, then you get it.

A press conference will help the public process everything.

A press conference will just bring more attention to me and my kids. All I want

to do is go home.

My kids aren't sleeping well without me. This will pass.

You need to help shape the story, or they will make you out to be villains.

That's my decision.

Period.

Fine.

Then I guess there's only one thing left to discuss here.

The babies need to stay in the NICU a while longer, but you're being

this week.

And I have a plan to get you out of this hospital safely.

It's time to go.

I thought my dad, Eddie, was picking me up tomorrow morning.

We're going to take your phone. I'll get you a new one once things get little.

What? No. I talk to my friend Beth every day. I need to call her. You can call

her later.

I'm just going to pack your essentials.

The nurses will pack the rest.

Well, I have to tell my kids I'm on the way. You can't go to your parents. There

are 40 paparazzi and reporters camped out outside their house.

Are my kids in danger?

Just need to let things settle down.

But I'll make you a deal.

Okay, you pick a network to talk to this week, and I will get you a new phone,

and you can see your kids.

You can't force me to do an interview.

If we don't talk to the media, the media will talk for us.

Octomom is an illegal alien, and these are her anchor babies.

Why should I have to pay if she's such a welfare mom looking for a big

government payout?

Octomom had eight babies just to be famous. It's sick. These are all lies.

That's the thing.

Lies start to sound like the truth, unless we address them.

I think I'm having a panic attack.

Okay. I will get you some medication to deal with your anxiety.

No, I would never do drugs. It's not drugs. It's medicine.

No, thank you.

Look.

I promise you'll start to feel better once things get settled and you have the

interview. Okay? I've reviewed all the choices, and it's down to Ann Curry and

Oprah. This is crazy. I bet they're not even interested in me anymore.

Look! Here she comes!

Oh, my God!

No one forced me, but any decisions I made in the days after giving birth were

bound to be wrong ones.

I was exhausted and emotional.

I chose to speak to Ann Curry, but it turned into this six -hour

I wasn't prepared for it at all.

If you've had kids, then you know, after giving birth, your body produces all

kinds of hormones, postpartum hormones, estrogen, progesterone, prolactin,

oxytocin, cortisol.

And those hormonal changes, they're intense when you have...

One baby.

Now multiply that by eight.

You have been called irresponsible,

unstable.

Can I respond first?

Yeah. Okay.

I personally do not believe that I'm irresponsible.

Everything I do revolves around my children.

How did an only child end up with 14 children?

That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, a huge family.

And I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another

that I really lacked, I believe, growing up.

Describe what you feel you lacked within.

Feeling of self and identity.

Reflecting back on my childhood, I know it wasn't functional.

It was pretty dysfunctional.

And whose isn't?

Aren't you glad you came home for this spectacle?

I came home because my daughter and my grandchildren needed me. Those reporters

are scaring the children.

You spoke to Nadia today?

I did. She's very excited to see the children and you.

Have you had a chance to speak to her since she had the babies?

Why didn't she come back here? I thought we could talk then.

She says it's for safety.

Reflecting back on my childhood, I know I wasn't functional.

I was very unconditionally loved and accepted, I felt, by my father.

And my mom, I always knew she loved me. But she didn't openly or overtly express

affection and love.

So how did that impact you?

She looks very tired.

How dare she go on TV and embarrass us? I'm sure she's just saying what they

want her to say.

When is she going to come and pick up these children she can't wait to see?

taking Elijah and Amira to see them and the others this weekend.

I thought

I told you to rest.

I'd wake you when they arrived. I can't sleep.

I'm too excited.

I'm not used to being away from my kids for so long.

I feel sick without them.

Who's paying for all this?

The hospital. They wanted to make sure you were getting to your interviews.

No. They wanted to manage what I say in these interviews.

I thought you worked for me.

I agreed with them.

You needed the safety of a private location.

You did your interviews, and now your kids are on their way to see you. I kept

my end of the bargain.

Now it's time for you to sign my contract to help me manage your Octomom

But I'm not Octomom. I'm just a mom who misses her kids.

Now you have as many kids as the old woman who lived in

the chute. I made this for you.

I hope. Oh, that's just what I needed.

I love you, Mom. Is that a butterfly?

I miss you, Mom. Oh, God.

Come in.

Come in.

I have photo albums, old report cards, whatever you want.

Can we get some pictures of the kids' bedrooms?

Of course.

I'm sure you saw Nadia's interview with Ann Curry.

Was your relationship always fractured?

No. We had a loving family, always.

She was just lashing out because she knew I didn't want her to have any more

children.

I've never been more disappointed with her than I am now.

What were you thinking?

You're making lots of money from your bad decisions. I need to make my money,

too. I'm not making lots of money. I've been taking care of your children for

months. They're a huge expense.

I deserve to be compensated. I know. I'm sorry. I tried to help. I hired

cleaning people and nannies. None of that matters when they cry for their

mother.

I'm here now.

Yes.

I never realized you had such a dysfunctional childhood.

I get it.

Maybe that's why you were a child having children.

All the dysfunction.

Oh, that's rich coming from the lady who let reporters dig through our family

albums as a way to get back at me. After everything I've done for you and your

kids, how dare you be so disrespectful? Don't worry, Mom. I don't need your help

anymore. We'll be out of your hair as soon as I can get enough money together

move out. Yes, yes. Run away.

You're just like your father.

You know after all this, the last person I expected to be betrayed by was my own

mother.

Okay, Bubbies, I got you.

Mama's going to hold you next.

I love you so much.

And I love you so much.

And I love you.

I started an online website to raise money.

I'm not comfortable with you begging the public for money.

People want to donate now, but that won't last.

Look, once you sign my contract, I will need access to your bank accounts and

other things. I don't think so.

Why not?

I need to stay in control of my life.

Bank accounts included.

Nadia.

I'm not fundraising online for my kids.

It's my responsibility to pay for them, not strangers.

You're being ridiculous.

Look, I'm grateful for all the work you've done.

But I really don't need a publicist. I'm just not interested.

And being famous.

You are more than famous. You're infamous.

I need to put my kids first.

None of this is good for them. I'm taking them home this weekend, and I'm

back to normal life.

Okay. You know, people are out there protesting your mere existence.

They want you and your babies dead.

Normal life is no longer.

Okay? Good luck.

I made many irresponsible choices.

But strangers wanted to kill me and my babies.

Let that sink in.

They wanted us all dead, simply because we existed.

I've always struggled with anxiety, but this was next level.

People were protesting against me and the babies, stalking me, sleeping

my parents' house. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

And to make matters worse, my mom decided to let go of all the help I

I felt like everyone and everything was working against me.

Nadia, you need to try and get some sleep.

I can't sleep.

The babies are coming home soon?

Well, they won't release them until they're four pounds, so they won't all

coming home at once.

However they come home, you need to try and rest now. I have to come up with a

plan.

People hate me. To them, I'm just this unemployed, unstable, single mother of

14. What did you think they were going to say?

I don't know.

I don't know what to do about money.

Nannies are expensive, but I can't do this alone.

I can't rely on my parents.

My savings are almost gone. My disability payments are over.

It'll be impossible to work a full time with eight newborns at home and earn

enough to feed everyone.

Can you get paid for the Today Show thing? News organizations don't pay for

stories.

Ugh.

My talk shows do.

Why the face?

That sounds promising.

But can you do that?

You're kind of shy.

It was pretty much my worst nightmare.

But I did have 78 missed calls when I was in the hospital, and they were

talk show producers or entertainment managers.

You're not an actor.

They want to do a TV show about us, and they want to film the kids, and I would

never do that.

Then forget about the kids.

Those calls were for you.

People already hate me. Why would I put myself out there like that?

You go to work full time, you're a jerk for leaving your babies.

You stay home to be with your kids, you're a deadbeat.

So I'm damned either way?

Pretty much.

Might be time to start returning some of those calls.

There was octo -outrage as I made my way through the talk show circuit. People

thought I was fame -hungry, but spoiler alert, it wasn't about fame. It was

about money.

And it worked.

I was able to use the money I got from all those interviews to move out of my

mom's house and into my own place.

The babies were being discharged two at a time, and I couldn't wait for all of

this to finally settle down and start our lives fresh.

Boy, was I in for a shock.

Oh my gosh.

Quite the welcome.

This is insane.

Nadia, are those your anchor babies? Nadia, are your babies the poor?

What? No, no.

Just ignore them. Keep walking.

Nadia, are you crazy? How do you feel, Nadia? Are you crazy?

It's terrible.

Nadia, are you crazy?

Your babies are getting upset.

Thank you. Go, go, go. Click the door.

Are you okay?

Back off!

Can

I

help you? Hi, I work for an organization called Little Darlings and we help

families with multiple.

I've never heard of that.

We are a group of volunteers, and Little Darlings reaches out to big brands and

secures donations of formula, diapers.

Wow, that's incredible. I didn't know organizations like yours existed.

Yeah, we saw you on TV. You seem to be struggling.

Oh, I'm hanging in there, and I have help at night and a few hours in the

morning, but it's really expensive.

Well, just so you know, you are not a miss alone.

We would like to offer you free nanny services.

We're all volunteers. This is a...

This is sort of our calling.

Oh, I can't believe it. I can't tell you what a relief it is to hear that you're

willing to help.

We are happy to. And we found an amazing place for the babies to stay near Lake

Arrowhead. Lake Arrowhead? Yeah.

Like a retreat center or something?

This is all too much for you to handle. This is too much for anyone.

Think about your real life.

Dating. I don't date. Well, school, your other children.

If you relinquish care of the babies to us, we will take care of them. I'm

confused. I'm a schoolwoman. They have such low birth weights. They're likely

have severe brain damage.

They're all small, but they're very healthy. They could need upwards to $125

,000 a month in specialized care.

They don't need specialized care. We can raise money from private sources, and

we can find placements for the babies with good vetted families. Just consider

what's best for the children. I know what's best for them. I'm never giving

my babies. So you prefer welfare to receiving the help from literal angels.

I'm not on welfare. I've never been on welfare.

So you've never received CalFresh benefits because your mother said you

Okay, for gross reason. I didn't even know that they were considered welfare.

And I'm sure she didn't know either.

You're a liar.

Everyone knows it.

Forget about the donations. You'll be begging me to take them in a week.

leave.

It's okay. It's okay.

Nobody's taking them.

Daddy's a woman?

Sorry, my kids are sleeping.

I'm not giving any interviews today if that's why you're here. No, I'm with

Child Protective Services.

My name is Tess.

Okay.

Thank you.

They never sleep at the same time, so this is a very special morning.

Oh, and my older kids are with my best friend, Beth.

Oh, yeah, I should...

Sneak out for a jog someday.

Exercise and food are like medicine to me.

I'm sorry, I'm babbling, aren't I?

Am I in some kind of trouble?

There has been a few anonymous complaints.

I mean, the babies just got home a few days ago. The complaints were filed the

day the babies were born. Some from lawyers, some from out of state.

Strangers' complaint?

They saw the story on TV.

And we have to do our due diligence.

I'm still moving in.

It's fine.

So it's you and the 14 now?

Yes. And Aiden is autistic?

Yes.

Nonverbal, fully disabled.

And who takes care of him? Me.

I mean, he goes to a special school when I'm working, but I'm a primary

caregiver and I always will be.

He's my forever baby.

It's a lot for one person.

For some people, but not for me.

And what do you do for work?

I was a licensed psychiatric technician, and I'm a student now.

And I've been getting paid for interviews recently.

Once a week, I let one camera in from Radar Online for an update.

That's how I found my house.

I see.

Um, I will need to speak to your older kids.

Uh, would that be okay?

Sure. Okay.

I'm a good mother.

I'm not here to determine that.

I'm here solely to focus on the well -being of the kids.

But if you think they're not well, you can take them away.

That is not our goal.

Okay?

Um, my advice?

Continue.

To keep a roof over their head.

Make sure that they're well taken care of.

Okay.

Yeah.

You're putting too many clothes in. They're all wrinkled.

Oh, Mom.

Elijah called.

He told me you needed my help. I brought lasagna.

He did?

He can see that you're struggling, Nadia.

Rise to this occasion.

I know I was not supportive of this, but they're here now.

You did a difficult thing bringing these babies into the world.

You can do other difficult things.

Do whatever it takes for them, Nadia.

Swansies need to be ironed.

Look,

I want to be up front with you because I know you're a talent manager.

I'm never doing a TV show about the kids. Well, I saw that UK documentary

did with them. Yeah, but that wasn't exploitative. Well, reality TV doesn't

to be exploitative either. Seriously, it's just like doing a documentary, but

way more fun. You get to introduce your kids to the whole world and get paid a

boatload of cash while doing it.

That's the last thing in the world I want for them.

Okay, that makes you want to leave, I understand.

I mean, it's disappointing, but there are other opportunities.

In fact, it put a few feelers out there, and we have an offer on the table for

$1 million.

Are you serious?

Uh -huh.

Do you think we could get an advance on that?

I don't see why not. You're the star. It's a video of you.

Just you.

It's a film company?

Yeah, an adult film company.

Million dollars for an adult film? That's right.

It could be tasteful, artistic.

No, I would never do that.

I have to draw the line somewhere.

Look, when we're talking about your survival here, you can't afford to draw

line, okay?

And we gotta strike while the iron is hot, while people still care.

I made a lot of mistakes and experienced them all in real time.

But I think the worst mistake I made was not reading my contract.

A lot of the jobs I took paid me small fees, but they kept the rights and made

thousands off of my projects.

I was taken advantage of, and I regret I was so exhausted I didn't force the

issue more.

No matter how many humiliating entertainment jobs I took, I never

any cash.

And eventually, I was forced to go on welfare to feed my kids between jobs.

I was somehow becoming the person the media initially portrayed me as. I

sacrificed my integrity over and over.

It wasn't me anymore.

I was literally becoming Octomom.

And I hated every minute.

How was school today?

Did you do your homework?

Can you put a mirror on?

Nadia, we need you back on set.

Okay, I guess I have to go.

Elijah?

Action!

What was that?

I'm really, really sorry. I have to go.

It's my kid.

I'm sorry.

Ari, hi.

Hey.

Caleb and Kalitha have fevers, but not high. Okay, I'll keep an eye on them.

Thank you for picking them up from school.

You're like family to me any time.

And I put the mail on the table, and, uh... This.

Came today.

I'm just behind. I'll catch up.

What are you doing?

I'm working to feed my family.

What about the house?

That's why I took the modeling gig.

What are these?

I went to a psychiatrist.

I've been having panic attacks.

Okay, I'm really stressed about money.

And drugs are the answer?

It's medication.

And I can't work if I can't breathe.

None of these jobs are getting you ahead.

Are lawyers looking at your contract?

I can't afford lawyers, Beth. I can barely afford pull -ups and food. That's

what I'm saying. Something isn't adding up.

You were the one who told me to do these jobs.

I never told you to do anything porn -adjacent.

Take some responsibility for something in your life. You can't always be the

victim.

I am not doing this. My kids are sick. I will talk to you tomorrow.

No. Stop. Don't walk away from me.

Would you be supportive of me doing what you're doing for money? You're not 14

kids. And if you did, I certainly wouldn't come over to your house and

feel worse about yourself.

You're supposed to be on my side. I am on your side. This is me being on your

side and saying the hard things.

You're not playing Octomom. You're becoming her.

I'll go check on the roof.

Hi, Frank.

Hi, Nadia.

Sorry, are you calling about the shoot today? My kids are sick. I should have

called. I'm sorry. It'll never happen again.

Actually, look, I was looking to book more shoots.

Actually, Nadia, the reason I'm calling is to let you know I can't work with you

anymore.

Is it because of the shoot and it'll never happen again?

No, no, no, that's completely understandable.

Actually, I've been getting some disturbing messages at work.

People are threatening my family.

You're getting threatened too?

I'm so sorry.

Look, I like you, Nadia. You're a nice lady.

But I'm sure you can understand that I gotta look out for my kids.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

We're all a little bit under the weather.

Which is funny because we never get sick. I make these amazing smoothies

antioxidants. I should make you one. I feel like you're here more than my own

family.

Sorry,

we can't get any of our regular cleaning help. I don't want to get anyone sick.

Anyways.

More complaints, I assume?

Yes. One main one.

It has to do with Aiden running away.

You want the blue?

He didn't intentionally run away, but he did leave the yard.

I was with the eight. I thought he was in the other room watching TV.

I mean, I've had cameras on all the doors. I don't know what happened.

I was frantic, and he was close by.

I know, sweetheart. I know.

Could I lose my kids for that?

No. Okay.

We spoke to the police.

Reviewed their notes as part of our investigation, and they had nothing but

glowing things to say about you.

You know, caring, responsive, polite, apologetic.

All 14 kids were clean and in good health.

But when I get a complaint... You have to come. Yeah.

Yeah.

Have you been sleeping okay?

Oh, the usual two or three hours.

But it depends.

I'm sorry.

It's such a mess. I know this does not look good.

If a messy house was enough, all parents would lose their kids.

Listen, more of these complaints come in as the public sees optimum everywhere.

Would you consider pulling back on some of your public appearances?

I mean, I can't.

I have to be in the public eye. I mean, I have to tell stories to take care of

my kids.

I mean, I know they make me out to be a monster, but...

Star and Inside Edition and TMZ are practically my employers now. I don't

any choice.

You always have a choice.

Happy, happy birthday, Elijah.

Are you ready for bowling?

Mom. Thank you. Are you okay?

We don't have to stay.

We're staying for sure.

Where do you want to go for lunch later?

We don't have to go anywhere else.

But your birthday cheeseburger will miss you.

Birthday cheeseburgers cost money.

They do.

But I don't want you to worry about that. Promise me you won't worry about

Promise. Good.

stop recording my little boy.

I'm sick of this.

We can't do anything.

Life's not my birthday.

Why does everyone hate us so much?

That was tough to watch.

Worse to live.

The more desperate I got, the more exploitative my jobs got.

I worked with several predatory managers.

Their real names aren't important, but no matter how many fake stories, I sold.

I couldn't climb out of that financial hole I was in.

I was spiraling out of control.

And it was looking more and more like I was going to lose my house.

I did all of these awful things to survive and protect my kids, but now my

were being punished for my mistakes.

What was I doing?

Was shamefully embracing the Octomom rule really helping my kids?

Or were all of my choices wrong from the very beginning?

Sorry.

Eventually... I agreed to do the thing I said I never would do.

I agreed to star in a solo adult film.

I just need a minute.

Come on, let's go.

Thank you for coming. Yeah, we gotta go.

Are you okay? Yeah, just dressed.

Elijah always waits until the last minute to tell me he needs supplies for

school. So, thank you for coming again.

Yeah, of course. We'll be fast.

Okay, well, take your time. Hey, are you okay to drive?

Why wouldn't I be?

You seem a little off.

No, I'm fine. Really, I'm fine.

Do I even know you? You look so familiar.

I don't think so.

I don't think I know those faces.

It's $3 .50. Cash or credit? Credit.

Let's try it again. These readers can be tricky.

Sorry.

Cash is fine.

Take your time.

Almost there.

It's all there.

Elijah!

What happened?

It hurts watching you count change.

I'm going to lose my house.

And no one will rent to me because of the Octomom stuff.

I knew that would come back to bite you.

I thought I was doing the right thing.

All the fake stories and videos and lies I told to feed them.

But what was it all for? If Elijah gets embarrassed when I pull out change to

buy his school supplies. Or I can't pay for Amira's cheerleading.

They're all hurting.

And I'm responsible for it.

Are you asking for money?

No.

I embarrass my kids, Mom. I embarrass myself.

It's not enough to just survive.

I want more for them. They deserve more. They are safe and healthy and loved.

It is enough.

This is harming you, this job of yours, these different managers.

It is a deal.

With the devil.

Look, all I know is I can't dump this on you again.

Fifteen of us can't move back into your house.

I don't have any choice.

I don't know what to do, Mom.

What would you do?

I was selfish.

To do this.

To do IVF one more time.

I hurt my kids. All of them.

You were right.

I was selfish.

No one died.

I want to live with Grandma. You had too many kids.

Don't.

It's true. Ever since the eight showed up, you've been different. It's gross.

Look, I know that you're upset, sweetie. But you don't care.

That's not true.

I want to live with Grandma because I can be the only kid.

Hey, your dad called, so... Let's have some pizza. Come on.

All right, sweetie.

Can you go clean up?

Josh, take your sister.

Thanks.

Okay.

My reps keep trying to sell stories to the tabloids and they're bored of the

usual stuff.

They keep pressuring me to do a TV show about the kids and I said no.

I don't know what else to do. I feel like I can't breathe. I don't know how

survive. I feel like I'm on this carousel and I don't know how to get

Maybe it's time to get off the whole ride.

Get some help.

I'm worried about you.

I want to get their PJs on.

I want to stay up here. Amira, no, no, no, no. Ow, Mom.

But I was just playing.

I know.

I'm sorry to scare you, okay?

Mom, I'm sorry.

My manager said that going to rehab will be great for my image and that I could

be like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

I don't give a crap about you being a phoenix.

I just want my friend to be okay.

So,

I

talked to all the kids last night.

They went to school this morning, and I have a letter for each of them, too.

I just want them to know how loved they are, and that I'm not leaving because of

anything they've done.

And that I'm coming back for never a part.

Don't worry about us.

Your parents will be here later.

We've got this.

Just focus on you.

I'm going to miss him so much.

Good morning, Miss Nadia.

I'm glad you're finally awake.

I need to talk to my kids.

Let's get you some food first. Then you can talk to the therapist about that.

How long have I been asleep?

Three days.

You're anxious?

I just keep moving around.

When was the last time you got any real rest?

Three years ago.

Before the eight.

Do you think you have a drug problem?

I don't know.

I've been taking medicine for anxiety.

More than prescribed?

No. I mean, I've had to take more than I used to.

Well, based on your scores and your blood test,

I don't think that you have a drug addiction, but you do have significant

markings for PTSD.

No, my family gets a lot of death threats.

That must be very scary.

How are the kids holding up? They're the best.

They've adapted better than me in a lot of ways.

Because you've been shielding them from it?

Trying to.

How much do you know about addiction?

I studied in grad school.

I was studying to be a therapist.

I know. It's ironic, given where I am right now.

I don't know.

Often the therapists are the ones most in need of therapy.

Speaking from experience.

Well, if you've studied addiction, you know that most addicts are masters of

avoidance. They make extreme choices for what they feel are extreme problems.

Like drinking a pint of scotch every night to avoid accepting a failed

Eddie. My father.

What about your mom?

She lived in a resettlement camp after World War II.

There was violence, lack of food, lack of humanity.

I think she had a hard time taking care of me.

Because she was barely holding on herself.

That must have been very difficult.

It was lonely.

But you get used to it.

Do you?

When did you stop feeling lonely?

I was an only child, so... I guess when my kids were born.

Never really felt alive until I had them to love.

Had them to love?

Or had them to love you?

Morning, Nadia.

I actually go by my birthday now.

Natalie.

Natalie.

I like it.

Walk with me?

I know you won't be here for much longer, but when this is all over, I was

wondering if you might be interested in working for Morrison House.

Are you serious?

You have more experience with some of our best counselors.

It wouldn't be a lot of money.

We can offer you a small stipend and free housing.

Yes, yes, absolutely.

Yes.

Great. Welcome.

You might not believe me, but I'm painfully shy in real life.

I never wanted to be in the public eye.

Everything I did back then went against my soul's purpose, and participating in

that false life made me a bad parent, no matter what my reasoning was for doing

it. I made excuses for myself.

But the truth is, I couldn't break free from the shame.

I didn't think I deserved to be happy after everything I had done.

Rehab saved my life.

Because that's when I knew I'd had enough of the lies I was telling the

and more importantly, the lies I'd been telling myself.

And guess what?

I got a new job, and it comes with a new place to live, and it's closer to

Grandma and Grandpa's, and I won't be on TV anymore.

Oh, I'm never leaving you again.

Bring in some boxes, please.

And Calissa, you have art.

Amira, you have cheer today.

Let's go. Let's go. Do the credit, sweetheart.

Come on.

will always be my baby.

Go!

Everyone's got their belts on?

Good!

I understood prison.

I hated it, but I understood it.

Now I'm out and I'm scared.

I want to be a good role model for my kids. I don't want this life for them.

You're doing the right thing by being here and working on your sobriety.

Your kids just want you to be okay so that they can feel safe and loved.

Great start, everyone.

Thank you.

Oh.

Hello?

I'll be right there.

Danger for ovarian cancer.

I've been to many doctors.

I gotta run to the store.

He's not taking it well.

Mom, you should come live with me and the kids.

Absolutely not.

Let me take care of you.

I won't be another burden on you.

The last thing you need is a 15th child.

It will be a blessing, not a burden.

Hi. Hi.

How are you?

Good.

Oh.

Can I get you some tea?

Sure.

More complaints?

The neighbor saw a moving truck.

Well, it's not me moving this time.

My mom moved in.

Cancer, stage four.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

She's sleeping in my bed and I'm on a little mattress on the floor. I don't

to miss a moment.

I lost my mom two years ago.

You were doing it right.

Oh, you'll be happy to know I don't allow any more markers, crayons,

paint in this house given our previous issues.

Probably for the best.

May I?

Very nice.

Oh, lots of changes.

My kids will be home in an hour, so my friend Beth picks them up on Tuesdays so

I don't have to rush home from work.

I hear you're counseling for the Morrison house.

Yeah, I love it.

You know, I actually didn't know if I would see you again, and I wanted to

you.

In a weird way, it felt like the cops and CPS were the only ones rooting for

In all of our investigations, we never found any reason for your kids to leave

your home.

Not once. We did always see how hard you were trying. Even when I got off

course.

Even then.

Leaving the public eye was one of the best things you could have possibly

I'm proud of you.

It's quite a transformation.

Yeah.

Two, three, four, five.

Do you need some help over there?

Always. Yeah.

Take these.

Mm -hmm.

Can you handle that? Yes.

How are things going with your mom?

Oh, well, she has good days and bad days, but we're all happy she's here. I

mean, the kids are really soaking up every minute they have with her.

We all are.

Good.

No one thought I would get here.

Except you.

Well, if you can't believe in your best friend, then who can you believe in,

huh? I love you. I love you, too.

You're doing it.

Trying. Mm -hmm.

Okay.

Very good.

Come on, my babies. Who's hungry?

Me. I'm starving.

Okay.

I just wanted... I think I'm going to get some help with the drinking.

Do you think I can do it?

You can do it.

How do you...

I'm so

glad

that they're all here.

Me too.

Kids are so kind, polite, well -read, getting good grades.

The way you all take care of each other.

The way you all take care of me.

I feel so blessed.

Will you forgive me?

I do.

I forgive you.

If the public knew how hard you work for these kids, they would not hate you.

I was never close to my own mother.

We never said the things we should have said. It was a different time.

I want you to know that I love you.

I have loved you since you were born.

I just didn't always know.

My mom died in my arms in November 2014.

By then she was in hospice.

When it was time, I had to tell her it was okay to go.

That we would all be okay.

I'm sure a lot of you can relate.

It was the most painful experience of my life.

But I'm so grateful for finally attaining the relationship with my mom.

I had longed for all my life.

I always wanted a family to fill the void I felt from believing my mother

love me.

But the blessing at the end was learning she had always deeply loved me.

I am Natalie Sullivan, and my mom taught me how to be resilient and how to love

unconditionally.

We taught each other.

It must have been weird being an only child.

Do you ever wish you were an only child?

Yes, every day.

Hey, Octomom.

Oh!