Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE BIG C...

- I DON'T CONDONE STEALING.

- HERE IS YOUR PIECE OF THE ACTION.

- I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE MY WIFE IS SICK AND WE HAVE BILLS.

- I'M COACHING THE SWIM TEAM.

I WANT TO USE MY STRENGTH

TO DO THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY.

- ATTICUS SHERMAN. CATHERINE?

- CATHY. PATIENT.

- GOT MY SCAN RESULTS.

THEY TAKE A BEATING, BUT THEY KEEP ON GROWING.

- I'M SORRY. - HOW ARE YOUR SCANS?

- THEY'RE GOOD.

I KNOW THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY HARD TIME.

WHEN I MISCARRIED, I PLANTED A TREE.

YOU WENT OFF YOUR MEDS?

- YEAH, I'M NOT GONNA GO THROUGH THIS DOPED UP.

- SEAN?

[Leftover Cuties' Game Called Life]

- ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪

♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪

♪ STEP OUT ♪

♪ OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪

♪ IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE? ♪

♪ WILL SOMEONE WAKE ME UP SOON? ♪

♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS JUST A GAME WE PLAY ♪

♪ CALLED LIFE ♪

- SEAN LIKES TO PEE IN THIS ALLEY.

- OH.

YOUR BROTHER HAS BEEN PEEING

IN A LOT OF ALLEYS FOR A LOT OF YEARS.

I'M SURE HE KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND OUT HERE.

- HE'S MORE VULNERABLE THIS TIME.

HE HAD A TASTE OF THE SANE LIFE,

AND IT BIT HIM IN THE ASS.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO HELP ME LOOK FOR HIM.

IT REALLY HELPS TO HAVE AN ACCOMPLICE.

EXCUSE ME. SIR?

HERE...

THEY'RE LINED FOR WIND PROTECTION.

CAN I DRIVE YOU TO THE TRIAL ON THURSDAY?

SOME OF SEAN'S FAVORITE GARBAGE CANS ARE ON YOUR BLOCK.

- I'M LEAVING THE TRIAL.

- BUT DR. SHERMAN TOLD YOU TO STAY, RIGHT?

HE'LL ADD RADIATION. THERE'S A LOT--

- IF THERE'S ONE THING I'VE LEARNED

FROM ALL THE TRIALS I'VE DONE,

IT'S IF OTHER PEOPLE ARE GETTING RESULTS

AND I'M NOT,

IT'S TIME TO PACK UP THE WINE RACK.

- SO WHAT, YOU'RE JUST LEAVING MINNEAPOLIS?

- WELL, NOT TILL AFTER THE MARATHON.

- YOU CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG TO GET INTO THE NEXT TRIAL.

YOU NEED TO FIND SOMETHING NOW.

- YES, LUNCH.

THAT GUY'S BURGER LOOKED DELICIOUS.

- OH, COME ON!

THOSE GLOVES ARE FROM PATAGONIA!

WHEN I WAS TEN AND I LOST A NAIL,

I THOUGHT IT WAS SO "FUGLY."

NOW I LOVE THESE LITTLE NUBS.

MWAH!

WHICH IS PROOF I'M WINNING, AND CANCER CAN SUCK IT.

- YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE CAN SUCK IT?

THAT NEW SCALE I GOT.

THERE IS NO WAY THAT I AM UP THREE POUNDS.

I MEAN, COME ON.

I'VE BEEN EATING LIKE AN ANOREXIC SOCIALITE.

- IT TAKES TIME. ROME WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY.

- FUCK ROME.

THIS IS PAUL CITY, AND IT'S URGENT.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TODAY AT THE MAX BUY?

MANDY OUT-LIFTED ME.

NOW, GRANTED, SHE'S BUILT LIKE A FRICKIN' LINEBACKER,

BUT, YOU KNOW, IT WAS EMBARRASSING.

I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO THINK THAT I CAN'T HAUL ASS.

- YOU HAVE INVENTORY TOMORROW NIGHT, RIGHT?

- YEP. ALL NIGHT.

6:00 P.M. TO 6:00 A.M.

LIKE I'M A FUCKING VAMPIRE OR SOMETHING.

- YOU HAVEN'T PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER SINCE COLLEGE,

SO YOU PACE YOURSELF.

- DON'T WORRY, HONEY.

I'LL CHANNEL MY INNER 20-YEAR-OLD.

HE HAS VAST RESERVES OF ENERGY.

- IT'S SUPPOSED TO DIP BELOW 30 TONIGHT.

THINK SEAN HAS A BLANKET?

PAUL?

- [snoring]

- [snoring]

[whistle blows] AH!

DAMN, WOMAN, WHY'D YOU DO THAT?

- YOU SLEPT THROUGH THE BELL...

AND MOST OF MY CLASS.

- OH.

MYK MADE ME WATCH LORD OF THE RINGS

WHEN HE GOT OFF WORK.

HOBBITS HAVE SOME NASTY-ASSED FEET.

- I LOVE THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE,

BUT YOU CANNOT KEEP STAYING OUT ALL NIGHT.

TEENAGERS NEED SLEEP. IT'S A FACT.

- THEN WHY'D YOU WAKE ME UP?

- YOU OWE ME A PAPER...

DUE YESTERDAY.

- CAN I HAVE AN EXTENSION? - NO.

- COME ON!

I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE A WOMAN WITH IT ALL--

A BOYFRIEND, A HISTORY PAPER.

WORK WITH ME, MRS. J. PLEASE.

- FRIDAY, END OF DAY, OR YOU GET AN "F."

- YEAH, YEAH, DEAL.

JUST KEEP THAT DAMN WHISTLE AWAY FROM ME.

[whistle blows]

- WHAT ARE THESE KIDS? THEY MADE OUT OF MARBLE?

NO FAT ON 'EM-- HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

IT'S YOUTH, RIGHT, HONEY? IT'S JUST 'CAUSE OF YOUTH.

- WELL, THAT AND SWIMMING FIVE MILES A DAY.

DO ME A FAVOR--WILL YOU GET ME A WATER FROM THE SNACK BAR?

- NO--NO SNACKS?

- NO SNACKS. - NO SNACKS.

- OKAY, GIRLS.

I WANT YOU TO WARM UP, FIVE 100 FREE.

VISUALIZE WINNING.

- YEAH. - OKAY.

- LOOKIN' GOOD, SHERMAN!

YEAH!

- I'M DIAGNOSING YOU AS CHEERING FOR THE WRONG TEAM.

- YOU'RE THE DOLPHINS' COACH?

I HEAR YOU'RE THE TEAM TO BEAT.

MY GRANDDAUGHTER TAYLOR SWIMS FOR CALHOUN.

SHE'S GOT OARS FOR ARMS.

- HOPE SHE LIKES LOSING.

- NO, SHE DOESN'T. HEY, I READ YOUR SCANS.

YOUR METS ARE RUNNING SCARED.

YOU MUST BE HAPPY. I AM.

- I'M ECSTATIC.

BUT, YOU KNOW, WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SUCCESS GUILT.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY FRIEND DROPPING OUT OF THE TRIAL.

- ALWAYS A CRAPSHOOT WHEN YOU MAKE FRIENDS

IN A THING LIKE THIS.

- UGH.

I SHOULD NOT HAVE WORN HEELS.

- GIA, THIS IS MRS.-- - HI, I'M CATHY.

- OH, HI.

- HI, I'M ONE OF DR. SHERMAN'S PATIENTS.

YOU MUST BE HIS DAUGHTER. - WIFE--GIA.

- WIFE.

- WIFE, YEAH. - OH.

- WHOA. THAT WAS A GOOD RECOVERY.

- THAT WAS VERY GOOD. - RIGHT?

YEAH, MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN TRY.

- I'M SORRY.

- OH, COMES WITH THE TERRITORY.

- WIFE NUMBER ONE WANTED A HUSBAND

WHO'D RETIRE AND PUTTER IN THE GARDEN.

BUT, YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT ME.

TOO MUCH LIFE LEFT ON THIS BATTERY.

- MM-HMM. VROOM, VROOM.

[both laugh]

- COACH JAMISON, IF I WANTED SO SEE A MAN ABOUT A HORSE...

- OH, THE--THE BOYS' LOCKER ROOM IS--

IT'S OVER THERE.

- SEE YOU IN A MINUTE. - OKAY.

- NEVER A LINE FOR THE LOCKER ROOM BATHROOMS.

JUST DON'T ASK ABOUT THE URINE CONTENT IN THE POOL.

- [laughs]

YOU'RE FUNNY.

I LOVE FUNNY PEOPLE. ATTICUS IS A TOTAL RIOT.

- PLUS, HE'S GOT THAT MAGIC ACT.

HARD TO RESIST A GUY WITH TRICK SCARVES.

- RIGHT?

SEE, NONE OF MY FRIENDS GET IT.

THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW I COULD MARRY SOMEONE

OLDER THAN MY GRANDPA.

THEN AGAIN, WITH AGE COMES EXPERIENCE,

AND A MASTERY OF A CERTAIN ORAL SKILL.

I SWEAR THAT MAN CAN'T KEEP HIS FACE OUT OF MY PANTS.

- AND HERE I WAS THINKING

THE BEST PART OF MARRYING A DOCTOR

WAS EASY ACCESS TO PAINKILLERS.

- [laughs]

I LOVE YOU.

- [laughs]

- OH, MY GOD, I HAVE A GREAT IDEA.

DO YOU LIKE ITALIAN FOOD?

- UH--

- YOU AND YOUR HUBBY HAVE TO COME TO DINNER TOMORROW.

ATTI'S MAKING HIS WORLD-FAMOUS GNOCCHI.

I'LL HAVE HIS SECRETARY CALL WITH THE ADDRESS.

8:00 OKAY?

- 8:00'S GREAT.

- THEN IT'S A DATE. AH!

- AH!

[both laugh]

OKAY. BYE. - BYE.

- OKAY, I JUST USED THE BATHROOM,

AND GUESS WHOSE PENIS I JUST SAW,

AND IT'S HUGE.

- PLEASE DON'T SAY DR. SHERMAN.

- HOW'D YOU KNOW?

WHOA. WHO'S THE HOTTIE?

- WIFE NUMBER TWO.

- NO. - HMM.

APPARENTLY HE GIVES GREAT HEAD.

- YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING YOU HOW THAT CAME UP.

- WITHOUT WARNING.

AND BY THE WAY, WE'VE BEEN INVITED TO DINNER TOMORROW.

- OH, HONEY, I HOPE YOU SAID NO.

- HOW? THE MAN'S CURING MY CANCER.

- OH, GOD.

- [laughs]

- I'VE GOT TO FIND OUT WHAT KIND OF WINE TO BRING

AND HOW MUCH TO DRINK TO GET AMNESIA.

- OH, GOD.

- I AM RECOMMENDING A CHIANTI.

IT'S LIKE A LIQUID LOBOTOMY.

IN FACT, HERE, TAKE TWO.

YOU DRINK THAT ONE BEFORE YOU GET TO THEIR HOUSE.

[coughs]

- DON'T GO FOR A RUN. IT'S TOO COLD.

ONLY SLED DOGS SHOULD BE OUT THERE.

PLUS, YOU LOOK TIRED.

- I WILL REST AFTER THE MARATHON.

IN FACT, I WILL REST FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

I HAVE A CLEAR SCHEDULE.

- I'VE DONE SOME RESEARCH ONLINE--

- WELL, I THOUGHT WE HAD THAT TALK.

- I KNOW. THE INTERNET IS NOT FOR RESEARCH.

both: IT'S FOR PORN.

- BUT THERE ARE SOME REALLY GOOD TRIALS OUT THERE.

MOST OF THEM HAVE WAIT LISTS.

- YEAH, THE GOOD ONES ALWAYS DO.

- BUT THERE'S A CLINIC IN LOS ANGELES--

HOLISTIC BUT EDGY,

INVOLVES A LOT OF KALE.

BUT TWO ACTORS AND AN AWARD-WINNING NOVELIST

HAVE VIRTUALLY BEEN CURED.

- SO IT WORKS FOR FAMOUS CANCER?

- IT WOULD BUY YOU TIME

UNTIL WE COULD GET YOU INTO ANOTHER TRIAL.

- I DON'T WANT TO DO ANOTHER TRIAL.

AND I DON'T WANT TO GO TO L.A.,

BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE TO GET A BOOB JOB

AND A FAKE TAN AND AN AGENT AND--

- I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. YOU'RE BEING FLIP.

- [coughs]

- YOU NEED A PLAN.

- WELL, I HAVE A PLAN.

IT'S TO GO FOR A RUN.

YOU ENJOY EATING IN

WITH THE DOCTOR WHO LIKES TO EAT OUT.

JUST--JUST KEEP YOUR LEGS CROSSED.

[door closes]

- NICE WHEELS, DUDE.

- UH, THANKS.

- NO FUCKING WAY. IS THAT MADDOG?

- WHAT, YOU KNOW HIM? - YEAH, EVERYBODY KNOWS HIM.

HE'S, LIKE, THE HIGH PRIEST OF OUR FREAKIN' FAMILY.

- HAVE YOU SEEN HIM, THOUGH?

BECAUSE MY MOM'S ALL FREAKED OUT ABOUT HIM.

- NAH.

YOU HIS KID OR SOMETHING?

- NO, HE'S MY UNCLE. - RIGHT ON.

HEY, CHECK IT.

IT'S KIND OF A SPIRITUAL PORTRAIT OF OUR TRIBE--

BROTHERS AND SISTERS UNITED BY OUR LOVE OF FREEDOM

AND OUR HATRED OF BULLSHIT.

- YEAH. TOTALLY GET IT.

- YOU'RE ONE OF US, JUST LIKE MADDOG.

- HEY, WARM YOUR HANDS BY THE FIRE, 10 SPEED.

WHAT'S OURS IS YOURS.

- THANKS, DUDE. - YEAH.

- WHAT'S UP?

[Andrea yawns]

- YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND GET SOME REST.

I NEED TO GET BACK TO INVENTORY.

- ALL RIGHT, THEN.

DON'T WORK TOO HARD, UKRAINE,

'CAUSE WHEN I COME BACK TO GET YOU,

IT'S TIME TO START YOUR ANDREA SHIFT.

- MMM-MMM.

- HEY, MR. J. YOU LOOK LIKE HELL.

- THANK YOU.

- I STILL HAVE HALF A SANDWICH.

WE CAN SPLIT IT ON OUR NEXT BREAK.

- THIS NIGHT IS, LIKE, THREE DAYS LONG.

BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE LIKE A FUCKING JACKRABBIT OUT THERE.

WHAT IS IT, ALL THAT CABBAGE YOU GUYS EAT?

IT'S LIKE JET FUEL OR SOMETHING?

- IT'S NOT THE CABBAGE.

- IS THAT FUCKING COCAINE?

- OUR CLIENT WAS HAVING CASH-FLOW PROBLEMS,

SO HE PAID US WITH THIS.

YOUR CUT.

- SO YOU'VE BEEN, LIKE...

- DON'T TELL ANDREA.

SHE WILL BEAT MY ASS IF SHE FINDS OUT.

- WOW.

SHE'S REALLY GOT YOU BY THE NUTSACK, DOESN'T SHE?

USUALLY IN THIS COUNTRY, WE WAIT UNTIL WE'RE MARRIED

TO SURRENDER OUR FREEDOM, YOU KNOW?

I GAVE THIS SHIT UP WHEN CATHY AND I GOT SERIOUS,

BUT, OH, I USED TO LOVE DOING BLOW, MAN--

STAYING UP ALL NIGHT, TALKING CRAP, YOU KNOW?

FEELING INVINCIBLE IN THAT BULLSHIT KIND OF WAY.

IT WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME.

- IT'S STILL AWESOME.

I FEEL LIKE I COULD DO THE WORK OF, LIKE, FOUR MYKS.

- WHEN ARE WE OUT OF HERE?

- SIX HOURS.

GONNA MAKE IT, PUSSY?

[rock music]

- 13!

14! - OH, AH.

- 15!

♪ ♪

- AHH!

WHO'S THE PUSSY NOW, MANDY, HUH?

WHO'S THE PUSSY NOW?

- WHY ARE YOU STILL UP?

OH, WHY DID YOU EAT ALL THOSE COOKIES?

- WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING

YOU KNOW HOW TO USE THAT COMPUTER?

- I'M--I'M MAKING UP NEW FLYERS.

DO YOU LIKE THIS PICTURE BETTER THAN THE OTHER ONE?

HIS SMILE'S NICE.

- YOU KNOW, MOM, YOU'RE KIND OF BEING A SPAZ ABOUT ALL THIS.

- YEAH, WELL, IT'S MY JOB TO BE A SPAZ ABOUT IT.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE THE SANE SIBLING.

YOU'RE BRAIN IS TRAINED TO WORRY ABOUT THE CRAZY GUY.

BE HAPPY THAT YOU'RE AN ONLY CHILD.

MUST BE OUT OF INK.

- [imitates buzzer] WRONG.

YOU NEED ME TO PUT IN THE NEW ONE?

- NO.

I NEED YOU TO GO TO BED.

OH, AND I'M GONNA LEAVE SOME OF THESE OUT

FOR YOU TO POST IN THE MORNING, OKAY?

- [belching] OKAY.

- CHEETOS?

PAUL.

PAUL, PAUL, PAUL, PAUL.

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- ABOUT TIME.

- SCOOT OVER. I'LL DRIVE. - IT'S OKAY. I GOT IT.

♪ ♪

DAMN, I LOOK GOOD FOR 6:00 A.M.

MAYBE I'LL BECOME A MORNING PERSON.

IT'S KIND OF NICE WAKING UP

BEFORE THE WHOLE JAMISON CRIB IS UP.

I CAN SIT AND SIP MY TEA LIKE A LADY AND--

HELLO!

I'M TALKING TO YOU.

- SORRY, I WAS THINKING.

- ABOUT WHAT?

- ABOUT US.

PAUL AND I WERE TALKING,

AND HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT YOU TAKING MY FREEDOM

AND IT MADE ME THINK-- - HELL, NO.

I LET YOU INTO MY PANTS,

AND YOU'RE GONNA BREAK UP WITH ME?

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO TRUST A PRETTY BOY.

GET OUT. WE'RE DONE.

- ANDREA. - I'M SERIOUS.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS CAR.

- YOU'RE CRAZY. STOP.

- I'M CRA--I'M CRAZY?

HERE'S SOME CRAZY! GET THE FUCK OUT!

- ANDREA.

ANDREA, ANDREA, I DON'T WANT TO BREAK UP WITH YOU.

I WANT YOU TO BE MY WIFE.

- WHAT'D YOU SAY?

- I SAID MARRY ME.

I LOVED YOU THE FIRST MOMENT I SAW YOU

SHAKING YOUR BOOTIES ON THOSE TVs.

YOU HAVE MY SACK OF NUTS. TAKE MY HEART.

- YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S CRAZY.

- [chuckles]

[Paul grunting]

- WOW.

YOU LOOK ENERGETIC FOR SOMEONE WHO JUST PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER.

- HONEY, I'VE BEEN ROLLING THE SHIT OUT OF MY ABS ALL DAY.

IF I KEEP THIS UP,

I'M GONNA BE BACK IN FIGHTING SHAPE IN NO TIME.

OH, OH, OH.

- OKAY. - POOF!

- SUGAR RAY, WE NEED TO GO GET READY

TO GO TO DR. SHERMAN'S.

- I FORGOT!

OH, HONEY, CAN'T WE SAY YOU'RE SICK OR SOMETHING?

- HE'S MY ONCOLOGIST. I CAN'T SAY THAT.

- I'LL BE SICK.

I'LL SAY I HAVE A FUNGAL THING.

OH, COME ON, IT'S PERFECT.

IT'S, LIKE, SPECIFIC BUT VAGUE,

AND HE'LL NEVER EVEN SUSPECT.

OKAY, WE'LL GO.

- OH, BY THE WAY,

I FOUND THIS

IN THE CHEETOS CANISTER.

ANY IDEA WHERE IT CAME FROM?

- IT'S MINE. I PUT IT THERE.

- THIS IS OVER $5,000.

YOU HAVE SOME SECRET JOB I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?

- UM, ACTUALLY, I DO.

I'M SORT OF A, UH, SILENT PARTNER

IN THIS UNDER-THE-TABLE THING

A COUPLE GUYS HAVE GOING AT WORK.

- WHAT?

PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING, BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS AN AWFUL LOT

LIKE YOU'RE STEALING FROM WORK.

- I'M NOT STEALING ANYTHING. THEY ARE.

AND THEY'RE JUST PAYING ME, YOU KNOW, TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY.

HONEY, IT MAKES THEM FEEL BETTER IF I TAKE IT.

IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

- NO BIG DEAL?

IT'S ILLEGAL.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

- TO COVER EXPENSES FOR YOU, FOR US.

- MY TREATMENT'S GOING WELL.

WE DON'T NEED THE MONEY THAT BADLY.

- MAYBE NOT NOW, BUT WE MIGHT.

HONEY, IT IS NOT A BAD IDEA

TO HAVE SOME MAD MONEY STASHED AWAY.

WHAT IF A BIG BILL COMES IN?

YOU KNOW, OR GOD FORBID WE WANT TO TAKE A FAMILY VACATION.

YOU KNOW, MY STUPID MAX BUY SALARY

IS NOT GONNA COVER THAT.

I'VE BEEN PLAYING BY THE RULES MY ENTIRE LIFE

AND GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS.

WE DESERVE THIS MONEY.

I WON'T BE MADE TO FEEL GUILTY FOR TAKING IT.

- MY HUSBAND IS VERY PASSIONATE

ABOUT ART.

EVERY TIME WE GO ABROAD,

HE INSISTS ON ADDING TO OUR COLLECTION.

WE GOT THIS IN AFRICA.

- I LOVE CANES.

- CAREFUL, HE MIGHT STEAL IT.

- [laughs]

NO, ACTUALLY, THIS IS ANCIENT PHALLUS ART.

MAH.

- I GAVE THAT TO GIA AS A WEDDING GIFT.

- I DID MY DISSERTATION IN FEMINISM

AND THE NOTION OF THE MARGINAL MAN

IN EARLY TRIBAL CULTURES.

- YOU HAVE A PhD?

- IN ANCIENT CIVILIZATION.

MAKES HER A GREAT TRAVEL COMPANION

AND EXPLAINS HER INTEREST IN ME.

- [laughs]

ATTI INSISTS WE GO SOMEPLACE EXOTIC EVERY YEAR.

- YOU GOT TO GET OUT IN THE WORLD,

ENJOY LIFE WHILE YOU'RE HEALTHY AND ABLE.

IF I COULD GIVE FAMILIES ONE PRESCRIPTION,

TAKE MORE VACATIONS.

- VACATION-- NOW, THERE'S A NOVEL CONCEPT.

- TIME FOR DESSERT.

- THANK YOU FOR THE LOVELY MEAL.

THE GNOCCHI WAS HEAVENLY.

- DON'T THANK ME. THANK THE ITALIANS.

THEY'RE CULINARY WIZARDS OVER THERE.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN?

- WE NEVER GO ANYWHERE. - NO, I'VE HEARD IT'S GREAT.

- OH, IT'S INCREDIBLE.

THEY HAVE THIS WONDERFUL EXPRESSION,

DOLCE FARE NIENTE.

"THE SWEETNESS OF DOING NOTHING."

IT'S AN ART IN MY BOOK.

- HERE'S MY ONE SPECIALTY IN THE KITCHEN.

SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

- LOOKS DELICIOUS. - MMM.

- IT'S MY GRANDMA'S SECRET RECIPE.

- [moaning]

- ATTI CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH OF MY CANNOLI.

- I COULD EAT IT ALL DAY.

MMM. OH, MY GOD.

HEY, CONGRATULATIONS ON MAKING IT

TO THE SWIM FINALS TOMORROW.

- THANKS.

IT'S GONNA BE A FIGHT TO THE FINISH.

SORRY ABOUT TAYLOR'S TEAM.

- IT'S THEIR OWN FAULT.

THEY THREW IN THE TOWEL WAY TOO EARLY.

I TOLD TAYLOR IF I DID THAT IN MY LINE OF WORK,

I'D NEVER GET ANYWHERE.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH RED TAPE I HAVE TO CUT THROUGH

TO GET A TRIAL GOING IN THIS DAMN COUNTRY?

ALL THE BULLSHIT PUTS US TEN YEARS

BEHIND THE CUTTING-EDGE STUFF THEY'RE DOING IN EUROPE.

[cell phone rings]

- OH, EXCUSE ME. I'M SORRY.

IT'S PROBABLY MY SON.

WE LEFT HIM ALONE FOR DINNER. NEVER ENDS WELL.

MM-HMM.

HEY, HONEY, HI.

NO, THERE'S--THERE'S MEATLOAF IN THE FRI--

WHAT?

OH, MY GOD. WHERE?

- CAUCASIAN MALE, 30s. LOOKS LIKE HYPOTHERMIA.

- ADAM, YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE.

- IS IT HIM?

- SOMEBODY CALLED ABOUT OUR MISSING-PERSONS FLYER.

- LOOKS LIKE HE FROZE TO DEATH.

- AH, GOD. - OH, THANK CHRIST.

OH, MY GOD.

- YOU KNOW NOT ALL HOMELESS PEOPLE LOOK ALIKE.

YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL.

[indistinct radio chatter]

YOU THINK ANYONE'S MISSING THAT MAN RIGHT NOW?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- YOU KNOW WHAT'S AWFUL?

WHEN I THOUGHT SEAN WAS UNDER THAT SHEET,

THERE WAS A PART OF ME THAT WAS RELIEVED

IT WAS ALL OVER...

THAT I COULD FINALLY STOP WORRYING.

- OH, HONEY.

- I'M GONNA GO UPSTAIRS. I'M GONNA CHECK ON ADAM.

- OKAY, SWEETIE.

I'LL JUST BE UP IN A SECOND, OKAY?

[dialing]

HEY, MYK.

I NEED YOU TO PUT ME IN TOUCH

WITH THE GUY WHO PAID US IN POWDER.

[knock at door]

- CATHY.

IT'S INSANELY EARLY. - I KNOW.

IT WAS A TERRIBLE NIGHT.

- DID SOMETHING HAPPEN? IS IT SEAN?

- NO.

IT'S YOU.

I MADE AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOU

IN A TREATMENT CENTER IN GERMANY.

APPARENTLY THEY'RE HAVING AMAZING RESULTS

WITH A DRUG THAT ISN'T IN THE U.S. YET.

YOU LEAVE ON THE RED EYE TONIGHT.

- YOU BOUGHT ME A PLANE TICKET?

- WE CAME INTO SOME UNEXPECTED CASH.

CONSIDER IT A GIFT.

- YOU REALLY DON'T GIVE UP, DO YOU?

- IT'S AN ANNOYING QUALITY I HAVE.

- I TOLD YOU I'M NOT DOING ANY MORE TREATMENT.

I AM AT PEACE WITH DYING.

- OH, STOP IT!

STOP!

I AM SICK OF THIS BULLSHIT BUDDHIST PHILOSOPHY.

YOU THINK IT'S NOBLE AND ENLIGHTENED

TO LAY DOWN AND DIE?

I SAW A GUY WHO COULD HAVE BEEN MY BROTHER

DEAD ON THE STREET LAST NIGHT.

THERE WAS NOTHING NOBLE ABOUT IT.

IT WAS JUST FUCKING SAD.

- I'M NOT TRYING TO BE NOBLE.

I'M TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE,

AND FOR SOME REASON, YOU WON'T LET ME.

- 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT LIVING IT. YOU'RE GIVING UP.

I LOST MY FRIEND MARLENE.

I MAY HAVE LOST MY BROTHER.

I'M NOT GONNA LOSE YOU, TOO.

IF YOU CARE ABOUT ME AT ALL,

YOU WILL GO.

PLEASE.

- I DO CARE.

BUT THIS IS MY LIFE, NOT YOURS.

AND I WILL NOT COMPROMISE MY BELIEFS

TO MAKE YOU FEEL--

- GOD, YOU ARE SUCH A SELFISH PRICK!

- I DON'T HAVE TIME

TO WORRY ABOUT ANYONE ELSE.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT.

- FINE!

GO! DIE!

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

- THANK YOU.

- HEY, 10 SPEED.

ANY LUCK FINDING MADDOG?

- UH, NO, SOMEONE THOUGHT THEY SAW HIM,

BUT, UH, TURNED OUT TO BE SOMEONE ELSE.

DID YOU PAINT OVER THAT?

- I THINK THE HORNS REALLY CAPTURE HIS ESSENCE,

SEEING AS HE WAS A REAL HORN DOG, RIGHT, GUYS?

- YEAH, BUT NOW PEOPLE CAN'T SEE HIS FACE.

- IT'S ART.

BESIDES, I'M SURE YOUR UNCLE'S FINE.

OUR FREAKIN' FAMILY, WE ALWAYS LOOK OUT FOR OUR OWN.

- YOU'RE NOT HIS FAMILY, OKAY? I AM.

IF YOU GAVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR REAL FAMILIES,

YOU WOULDN'T PUT THEM THROUGH HELL

BY NOT TELLING THEM WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE, OKAY?

GOD.

HEY!

- I TOLD YOU THEY WERE NICE WHEELS.

- HEY, ANDREA.

ANDREA, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

YOU--YOU MISSED CLASS YESTERDAY. YOU DIDN'T COME HOME LAST NIGHT.

- YEAH, I SPENT THE NIGHT AT MYK'S HOUSE.

HE CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS BITCH.

- THIS IS NOT FUNNY, ANDREA.

THE WHOLE REASON YOUR PARENTS ARE LETTING YOU STAY WITH US

IS SO THAT YOU COULD KEEP UP WITH YOUR WORK.

- HERE'S MY PAPER.

EVEN THE FOOTNOTES ROCK.

THANKS FOR THE EXTENSION.

- YOU'RE FALLING ASLEEP IN CLASS.

YOU'RE FORGETTING ASSIGNMENTS.

YOU'RE HANGING OUT WITH SOME GUY,

WHO IF HE REALLY CARED ABOUT YOU,

HE WOULDN'T JEOPARDIZE YOUR FUTURE LIKE THIS.

- HE DOES CARE ABOUT ME.

I HAVE THE RING TO PROVE IT.

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED. - OH, JESUS.

ARE YOU PREGNANT?

- HELL, NO! I'M NOT STUPID.

- YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE IN FRONT OF YOU.

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO RUSH INTO MARRIAGE

WITH SOME GUY WHO YOU HARDLY KNOW?

- 'CAUSE I'M NOT GONNA WAIT TILL I HAVE CANCER

TO DO THE SHIT THAT MAKES ME HAPPY.

- ANDREA.

- [blows raspberry]

HA!

HOW'D THE FINAL MEET GO?

- WE WON.

- YES! - VICTORY!

- OH, MY GOD! - SUCCESS!

- CONGRATULATIONS!

OH, MAN.

WE GOT TO CELEBRATE. WHERE ARE WE GOING?

- HOW ABOUT ITALY?

FOR CHRISTMAS.

- WHAT?

- IS SHE SERIOUS? - WHY NOT?

I WANT TO LEARN THE ART OF DOING NOTHING.

AND SINCE WE HAVE SOME MAD MONEY TUCKED AWAY,

I FIGURED IT MIGHT BE NICE

FOR US TO HAVE A FAMILY TRIP

AND NOT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE FOR A CHANGE.

- WHAT ABOUT UNCLE SEAN?

- WORRYING ABOUT HIM ISN'T GONNA BRING HIM BACK

ANYTIME SOONER, AND MEANWHILE,

WE NEED TO GET ON WITH OUR LIVES

AND HAVE SOME FUN.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

- WE'RE GOING TO ITALY.

- YES! - WE'RE GOING TO ITALY.

[laughing] OH, OH, OH.

- I'VE GOT TO GET YOU A PASSPORT.

YOU DON'T HAVE A PASSPORT.

WE GOT TO GET HIM A PASSPORT.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪