All language subtitles for The Big C S02E09 A Little Death 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-Kitsune_track4_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,309    - PREVIOUSLY ON  THE BIG C...      2 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:10,410  - I LIKE THE WAY   YOU ROLL, MICK.  3 00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:12,145  - I LIKE EVERYTHING   ABOUT YOU.  4 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,646  - YOU CAN'T BE STEALING STUFF.     5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,682    - IS IT TOO MUCH IF I ASK YOU      TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY?  6 00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:18,051  - IS IT TOO MUCH FOR ME   TO ASK TO BE CUT IN?  7 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,386  - IS THAT "RUGBY SLUT"?  8 00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:20,987  - I THINK SHE PREFERS   TINA NOW.  9 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,389  - I'M PREGNANT!   - WHAT?  10 00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:23,923  - WILL YOU MARRY ME?   - YES!  11 00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:25,025  - OHH!  12 00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:26,259  - I REALLY DON'T FEEL   SO GREAT.  13 00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:28,461  [siren]  14 00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:40,573  [Leftover Cuties'   Game Called Life]  15 00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:42,609  - ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪  16 00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:47,614     ♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪  17 00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:51,351  ♪ STEP OUT ♪  18 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:56,089      ♪ OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪  19 00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:01,828  ♪ IS THIS   SOME KIND OF A JOKE? ♪  20 00:01:01,861 --> 00:01:06,666  ♪ WILL SOMEONE   WAKE ME UP SOON? ♪  21 00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:12,005     ♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS JUST       A GAME WE PLAY ♪  22 00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:17,177  ♪ CALLED LIFE ♪  23 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,348  - IT'S WAY TOO SMALL.  24 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:24,617  - IT'S JUST SYMBOLIC,   THOUGH, RIGHT?  25 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,653  - MAYBE I CAN SHOW YOU   SOMETHING IN TEAK?  26 00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:28,321  - MAYBE YOU CAN   SHOW ME SOMETHING  27 00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:29,722  THAT DOESN'T LOOK   LIKE A CLOWN CAR.  28 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,126     THIS IS MY FLESH AND BLOOD   WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.  29 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,795  - SHE'S DEALING WITH     A MISCARRIAGE IN HER OWN WAY.     30 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,897  IT'S ONLY BEEN   ABOUT FOUR DAYS.  31 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,265  - I UNDERSTAND.  32 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,868  - NOW, THIS--   THIS ISN'T BAD.  33 00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:44,938  - OH, WELL, THAT'S THE CADILLAC     OF EVER-AFTERS.  34 00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:47,540      - BUT, REBECCA, YOU DON'T      HAVE ANYTHING TO PUT IN IT.      35 00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:50,910  - WELL, EXCEPT HER   HOPES AND DREAMS.  36 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,213      - I-I KNOW THAT EVERYBODY      MOURNS IN A DIFFERENT WAY.  37 00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:56,049  WHEN I MISCARRIED,   I PLANTED A TREE.  38 00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:57,317      - I DON'T WANT TO MOURN.  39 00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:59,152  I WANT TO CELEBRATE      THE LIFE THAT WAS INSIDE ME      40 00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:00,720  FOR 18 WEEKS.  41 00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:02,689  THIS FETUS DESERVES   TO BE FETED.  42 00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:04,691  I WILL TAKE THE BIG,   SHINY ONE.  43 00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:06,092  - OF COURSE.   EXCELLENT CHOICE.  44 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,362     AND WE'LL DO THE SERVICE IN       OUR CONTEMPLATION ROOM.  45 00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:10,597  - I'M GONNA NEED ROOM   FOR A PHOTO BOOTH  46 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:11,664  AND A SUSHI BAR.  47 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,233  I'M GONNA HAVE...  48 00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:15,101  - IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US   FOR ONE SECOND.  49 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:18,004  - WHAT?  50 00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:20,140  - NOW, I WANT   TO BE SUPPORTIVE,  51 00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:22,642     BUT I'M AFRAID THAT YOU'RE   SUBLIMATING YOUR GRIEF  52 00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:25,245  WITH...SUSHI.  53 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:27,480  - CATH, I'M OKAY.  54 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,382  A BABY WAS NEVER   IN THE CARDS FOR ME.  55 00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:31,050     IF I HAD REALLY WANTED ONE,      56 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:32,719  I WOULD HAVE HAD ONE   BEFORE MY UTERUS  57 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:34,954  STARTED DROPPING   TO MY KNEES.  58 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,356  IT'S SEAN YOU SHOULD   WORRY ABOUT.  59 00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:37,357  HE'S GONE OFF HIS MEDS.  60 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:38,725  - OH, GOD.  61 00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:40,426    - HE SAID IT WAS THE ONLY WAY      HE COULD FEEL THE PAIN  62 00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:42,128  OF LOSING BABY CATHY.  63 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,397    - MAY I ASK WHERE THE COFFIN       WILL BE BURIED?  64 00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:47,300     - I THOUGHT I WOULD PUT HER           IN THE TOLKE FAMILY PLOT.  65 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,902  - THERE IS NO   TOLKE FAMILY PLOT.  66 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:51,104  HOLD ON.   YOU HAVE CANCER  67 00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,505  AND NO PLOT?  68 00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:53,973  HELLO!  69 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,608  YOU MIGHT WANT   TO THINK ABOUT THAT.  70 00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:57,644  - I HAVE SOME LOVELY   SPACE AVAILABLE.  71 00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,213  - I'M SURE YOU DO.  72 00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:04,651  DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN   GET A COFFIN  73 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:05,785  THAT'S AERATED?  74 00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:08,221  - TO AVOID THAT   MUSTY JUST-DEAD SMELL?  75 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:09,322  - SO WATER CAN RUN THROUGH IT.     76 00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:10,890  YOU CAN TAKE A BATH   FOR ETERNITY.  77 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,592      - "A," THAT'S DISGUSTING.  78 00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:13,960      "B," I DON'T REALLY WANT   TO TALK ABOUT THIS.  79 00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:14,994  IT'S MORBID.  80 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,329     - WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT,       PAUL.  81 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,097  I MEAN, IT'S CRAZY   HOW UNPREPARED WE ARE.  82 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,399  WE DON'T EVEN HAVE   BURIAL PLOTS.  83 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:21,100    THIS IS ALL REBECCA'S FAULT.      84 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,236    YOU KNOW, SHE WANTS TO THROW       A STATE FUNERAL  85 00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:24,504  FOR HER UNBORN CHILD,  86 00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,239      AND NOW YOU'RE CATALOGUE   SHOPPING FOR COFFINS.  87 00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:27,373  - YES, SHE IS CUCKOO.  88 00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:29,509  BUT WE HAVE TO HAVE   SOME UNDERSTANDING.  89 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,978  - HONEY, I GET IT.  90 00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:33,479     BUT SHE WAS BARELY SHOWING.      91 00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:34,948  - I'M GOING TO BRENT'S.  92 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,183    - I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO      A HOCKEY GAME WITH UNCLE SEAN.     93 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,085      - UH, YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.   HE'S ACTING ALL WEIRD.  94 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,721  YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT LIKE   AN ACTUAL PERSON DIED.  95 00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:42,989  [doorbell rings]   - THANK YOU.  96 00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:44,257     IT'S LIKE EVERYBODY CAUGHT   PRO-LIFE-ITIS.  97 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:45,358  - PAUL!  98 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,060  - COME ON, EVERYBODY   WAS THINKIN' IT.  99 00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:51,397  - MOM, DAD.   - WHO ARE THOSE FOR?  100 00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:54,334  "SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS."  101 00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:56,102      - HEY, THESE ARE FOR YOU.  102 00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:58,271  WE GOT THEM BY MISTAKE.  103 00:03:58,304 --> 00:04:00,573  - OH, EXCELLENT.  104 00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:03,743  THE, UH, THE OBITUARY'S      WORKING ITS INTENDED MAGIC.      105 00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:06,112      - YOU WROTE AN OBITUARY?  106 00:04:06,145 --> 00:04:08,781  - WELL, SOMEBODY HAD TO      ACKNOWLEDGE THIS HAPPENED.  107 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,416  LET ME TELL YOU   SOMETHING, CATHY,  108 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:11,818  YOU GO BEFORE YOU   HIT 20 WEEKS,  109 00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:13,052      YOU ARE SHIT OUT OF LUCK.  110 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,421  YOU CAN'T GET A BIRTH   OR A DEATH CERTIFICATE.  111 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:16,789  IT'S LIKE YOU'VE, UM--  112 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,291  IT'S LIKE YOU'VE BEEN   WIPED OFF THE BOOKS.  113 00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,526  YOU NEVER EXISTED.  114 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,829  THANKFULLY, THE FOLKS       AT  THE TWIN CITIES LEADER  115 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:25,398  TOOK PITY ON MY PLIGHT,   AND THEY ALSO TOOK MY 20 BUCKS.    116 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:28,401  - I KNOW THIS IS       AN INCREDIBLY HARD TIME.  117 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,502      - YOU WANT TO KNOW HARD?  118 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:31,604  YOU TRY GOING   TO THE PREEMIE WARD.  119 00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:32,805      THEY HAVE BABIES IN THERE  120 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,508    THE SIZE OF A FUCKING ACORN.      121 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:37,844  BUT THEY GET TO LIVE.  122 00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:39,812      THEY EVEN HAVE VOLUNTEERS   TO HOLD THEM  123 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,914  SO THEY--THEY--   THEY GROW FASTER.  124 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,284  YOU--THEY HAVE   FUCKING ENTOURAGES.  125 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:46,152    - REBECCA TOLD ME THAT YOU--       YOU WENT OFF YOUR--  126 00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:47,654  YOU WENT OFF YOUR MEDS.  127 00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:50,189     - YEAH, I'M--I'M NOT GONNA       GO THROUGH THIS DOPED UP.  128 00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,458      - OH, SEAN, WHY MAKE THIS   HARDER ON YOURSELF?  129 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:53,559     IT'S A VERY EMOTIONAL TIME.      130 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,061  - EXACTLY.  131 00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:57,997  AND I PLAN ON FEELING       EVERY, SINGLE BIT OF IT.  132 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:05,905  [indistinct chatter]  133 00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:10,910  - HEY, BUDDY.  134 00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:12,578  I DIDN'T KNOW CUSTOMERS   WERE ALLOWED BACK HERE.  135 00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:14,080    - THEY'RE NOT THE CUSTOMERS.      136 00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:17,483  - WAIT...THEY JUST   STOLE THAT STUFF?  137 00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,118  IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?  138 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,953  - RELAX, PAUL.  139 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,555  OWEN IS AT QUIZNOS   ON HIS BREAK.  140 00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:24,123  IT'S JUST US HERE.  141 00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:28,127      OKAY, HERE IS YOUR PIECE   OF THE ACTION.  142 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,737  - CAN I JUST BE CLEAR   ABOUT SOMETHING?  143 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:39,205  I DON'T CONDONE   STEALING, OKAY?  144 00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:40,440  I NEVER EVEN LIFTED   A PACK OF GUM  145 00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:41,774  WHEN I WAS A KID.  146 00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,609  RIGHT? I'M DOING THIS   BECAUSE MY WIFE IS SICK  147 00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:44,644  AND WE HAVE BILLS.  148 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,546  - I DON'T JUDGE.  149 00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:47,580  AFTER I PAY MY RENT,  150 00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:49,515  I AM SPENDING THE MONEY   ON ANDREA.  151 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:50,817  THAT GIRL.  152 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:51,851  SHE LIKES HER BLING.  153 00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:53,152     SOMETIMES, WHEN WE GO OUT,  154 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,755     SHE LOOKS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL   BLACK CHRISTMAS TREE.  155 00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:58,891     - YOU REALLY LIKE HER, HUH?      156 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,561     - DO UKRAINIANS LOVE BREAD?      157 00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:02,895  - I HAVE NO IDEA.  158 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,964  - THEY DO.  159 00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:07,066      [sewing machine whirring]  160 00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:12,071    - WHAT ARE YOU MAKIN' THERE?      161 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,107  - IT'S MY OUTFIT   FOR THE FUNERAL.  162 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:15,908  I'M ADDING   EXTRA SPARKLES TO IT  163 00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,277  BECAUSE FUNERALS SCARE   THE SHIT OUT OF ME.  164 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,679  - WELL, THIS ONE   HAS A PHOTO BOOTH,  165 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:23,216  SO YOU MIGHT BE   PLEASANTLY SURPRISED.  166 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:26,486  I'M SORRY.   MY FAMILY IS SO DYSFUNCTIONAL.     167 00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,020  - HEY, IF I HADN'T   MOVED IN WITH YOU,  168 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,290  I NEVER WOULD HAVE   MET MYK.  169 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,992  - HOW'S THAT GOIN'?  170 00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:35,428  - PRETTY GOOD.  171 00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:38,364     - IS IT...GETTING SERIOUS?  172 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,233      - YOU SOUND LIKE MY MOM.  173 00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:41,634  - DO I?       I DON'T MEAN TO, I JUST--  174 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:44,771    I WANT YOU TO BE ABLE TO TALK         TO ME ABOUT STUFF, ANDREA.  175 00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:46,706    - MYK AND I ARE GONNA DO IT.      176 00:06:49,275 --> 00:06:50,910  - OH.  177 00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:53,346  WOW, ARE YOU SURE   YOU'RE READY?  178 00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:57,116      I MEAN, DO I...DO I NEED   TO TAKE YOU TO A GYNECOLOGIST?     179 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,951  OR SHOULD I GROUND YOU?  180 00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,019  - SOUNDING LIKE MY MOM.  181 00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:01,788  - ALL RIGHT.   SORRY.  182 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,493  HAVE YOU...  183 00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,495  DONE IT BEFORE?   - YOU CALLIN' ME A HO?  184 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:10,963     - I'M NOT CALLING YOU A HO.      185 00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:14,367    - IT MIGHT BE MY FIRST TIME.      186 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,337  - MY GOD.  187 00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,705  [laughing] WELL...  188 00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:21,974  I'M IN TOTAL VIRGIN   TERRITORY HERE.  189 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,109  NO PUN INTENDED.  190 00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:24,377  I MEAN, I DIDN'T   GET TO TALK TO ADAM  191 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,078    ABOUT LOSING HIS VIRGINITY--           HE JUST WENT AND DID IT.  192 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,680    - DID I ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE?      193 00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:29,315  - NO.  194 00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:31,617      BUT LET ME JUST SAY THIS.  195 00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:34,320  LOW EXPECTATIONS.  196 00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:35,488  [deep voice]  LOW.  197 00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:38,357     BECAUSE THE SEX MOST LIKELY       IS GONNA SUCK.  198 00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:40,326  BUT YOU MAKE SURE...  199 00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:41,561  THAT HE RESPECTS YOU.  200 00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:45,498  AND THAT HE   MAKES IT SPECIAL.  201 00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,967  I LOST MY VIRGINITY   ON A BEAN BAG CHAIR.  202 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,502  FIVE MINUTES,   AND IT WAS OVER.  203 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:51,270  JUST LIKE A FAIRYTALE.  204 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,638  - CATHY, ARE YOU HERE?  205 00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:53,673  - YEAH, IN HERE.  206 00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:55,041  - OH, HI.  207 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:56,375  HEY, ANDREA.  208 00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:58,177  OH, NICE SPARKLES.  209 00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,379  UM, I WAS WONDERING   IF YOU'D SAY SOME WORDS  210 00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,414  AT THE FUNERAL.  211 00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:03,649  - SURE. UH...  212 00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:06,252    THERE--THERE'S A ROBERT FROST      POEM I KNOW.  213 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,187  - NO, I MEANT   LIKE A EULOGY.  214 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,889  - EULOGY?   - ISN'T A EULOGY,  215 00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:11,757     LIKE, MEMORIES OF A PERSON  216 00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:12,959    OR STORIES ABOUT THEIR LIFE?      217 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,827  - CATHY WILL THINK   OF SOMETHING.  218 00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:16,095  OKAY. THANKS.  219 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,033  [door shuts]  220 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,869    - PLEASE DON'T GET PREGNANT.      221 00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:29,075  [beeping]  222 00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:47,226  - HEY, WHAT'S WITH   THE FANCY MUFFINS?  223 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,561     - YEAH, AREN'T THEY GREAT?  224 00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,763  THEY CAME IN A BASKET     CALLED "BREAKFAST MOURNING."      225 00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:53,432  YES, MOURNING WAS   SPELLED WITH A "U."  226 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:54,834     IT'S A BEREAVEMENT BASKET.  227 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,068  - OH, PAUL,   WE CAN'T EAT THESE.  228 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,637  THESE ARE FOR SEAN   AND REBECCA.  229 00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,105  - NOPE, THEY'RE FOR US.  230 00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:01,607  WELL, THEY'RE FOR ME,   SINCE I'M THE GRIEVING WIDOWER.    231 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,709  WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?  232 00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,549  CATHY TOLKE DIED  233 00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,117  ON THANKSGIVING.  234 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:14,754  GONE TO A KINDER PLACE.  235 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,455  OH, MY GOD.  236 00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,724  - AT LEAST THE WIDOWER   WILL NOT GO HUNGRY.  237 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:20,626  - OH, JEE--   WHY DID SEAN DO THIS?  238 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,194  WHAT WAS HE THINKING?  239 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,431    HE COULDN'T PAY FOR THE EXTRA      LINE, "NOT MY SISTER,  240 00:09:25,464 --> 00:09:27,800     THE EMBRYO I WAS GONNA NAME       AFTER MY SISTER"?  241 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:30,269  - GOOD NEWS IS,       WE'RE EXTREMELY POPULAR.  242 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,105  WE'VE ALREADY GOTTEN   30 CONDOLENCE CARDS.  243 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,140  - JESUS.  244 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,644  - WHO DIED?  245 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,346  - ME.  246 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:48,721  [muttering quietly]  247 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:49,989  - HEY, YOU WANT   SOMETHING TO EAT?  248 00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:52,558  - NO, NO...NOT UNTIL       I TAKE THIS FUCKER APART.  249 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,328  $10 NUT BY $20 BOLT.  250 00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:57,063    - DO YOU WANT A XANAX, MAYBE.     251 00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,165    - NO, I DON'T WANT ANY XANAX.     252 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,300  AND IF ANYBODY NEEDS   SOME HELP, IT'S YOU.  253 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,935  I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU,   REBECCA.  254 00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:04,670      I'VE SEEN YOU MORE UPSET  255 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,105  WHEN SOMEONE STOLE   YOUR PARKING SPACE.  256 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:09,909  - I'M TRYING TO SEE   THE POSITIVE, SEAN.  257 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,844  I DIDN'T THINK      I COULD EVEN GET PREGNANT.  258 00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:14,447  - OH, WELL,   CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU.  259 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,584  - I'M GOING   BACK TO WORK TOMORROW.  260 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,453  I'M FEELING KIND OF   COOPED UP HERE.  261 00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:21,787  - WELL, IT'S YOUR LOSS.  262 00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:24,824  I'M GONNA HAVE A CHANGING TABLE     BONFIRE TOMORROW.  263 00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:42,008  [electronic bleep]  264 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,877  [ding]  265 00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:47,913  [electronic bleep]  266 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:50,483  [ding]  267 00:10:50,516 --> 00:10:52,718  - [chuckles softly]  268 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,654  [ding]  269 00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,326  [typing]  270 00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:12,304  - THIS FEELS NICE.  271 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:15,241    - FEELS PRETTY FUCKIN' WEIRD       TO ME.  272 00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,877  WE GOT A FETUS FUNERAL   THIS AFTERNOON,  273 00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:20,112      AND THIS IS HOW YOU WANT   TO SPEND YOUR MORNING,  274 00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:23,182      LOOKING AT BURIAL PLOTS?  275 00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:24,517  [whispers]   YOU'RE A DEATH JUNKIE.  276 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:26,318  - NO, I JUST--I JUST   WANT US TO DECIDE  277 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,653  WHERE WE WANT TO BE.  278 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,522      THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME   TO DO IT--  279 00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:30,623     WHILE WE'RE BOTH STILL HERE      280 00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:32,925  AND CAN MAKE   A RATIONAL DECISION.  281 00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:35,494  PEOPLE DO CRAZY THINGS   IN GRIEF.  282 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:39,699  LOOK AT REBECCA.  283 00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:40,900  - SWITCH WITH ME.  284 00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,641  [giggling]  285 00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:54,413      THERE, NOW YOU'RE LOOKING     AT MY GOOD SIDE FOR ETERNITY.     286 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,981  - [giggles]  287 00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,853  - WHEN YOU COME   VISIT ME HERE,  288 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:04,323  AND YOU  WILL   COME VISIT ME,  289 00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:06,859  I WANT YOU TO ALWAYS      IMAGINE ME BLOWING KISSES.  290 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,260  - DEATH JUNKIE.  291 00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:13,966  - WE SHOULD TAKE THIS.  292 00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:15,000  - HONEY...  293 00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:17,603  MY--MY FEET ARE   HIGHER THAN MY HEAD.  294 00:12:17,636 --> 00:12:20,539     I'M LOOKING AT A GUY NAMED   ALFONSO P. DICK.  295 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,209     IF THIS IS FOREVER, I THINK       WE GOTTA DREAM A LITTLE BIGGER.    296 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,044  - HMM.  297 00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:28,714      - I'D LOVE TO HAVE A PLOT   IN THE FULL SUN.  298 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,149      WOULDN'T THAT BE AWESOME?  299 00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:32,585  JUST TO LIE IN THE SUN FOREVER          AND NOT HAVE IT KILL YOU?  300 00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:34,286  [chuckles]  301 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,455  IT'S SO IRONIC.  302 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:41,927  BUT...SHADY AND UNEVEN   IS WHAT WE CAN AFFORD.  303 00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:44,563  - HOPE MR. DICK   ISN'T A SNORER.  304 00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:50,402  - ADAM!   OVER HERE, YOU KOC!  305 00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:58,177  - WAIT, YOU'RE POPPY?  306 00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:01,447  - POPPY P. KOWALSKI.  307 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,948  THE MIDDLE "P"   IS FOR "PAMELA."  308 00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:04,316  EW, RIGHT?  309 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,518  - YOU'RE OLD.  310 00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:06,919  - THANKS, BITCH.  311 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,388    - BUT YOUR NAME IS "POPPY17."     312 00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:11,090  - YEAH, IT'S FOR   THE JANIS IAN SONG.  313 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,391  - WHO?  314 00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:13,826  - IT'S AWESOME.   I'LL PLAY IT FOR YOU SOMETIME.     315 00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,628  - I GOTTA--I GOTTA GO.  316 00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:16,962     - DUDE, YOU JUST GOT HERE!  317 00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:19,298      - I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND       OF TWISTED GAME YOU PLAY,  318 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:21,734  TROLLING AROUND ON A   KIDS WITH SICK PARENTS WEBSITE,    319 00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:22,802  BUT IT'S NOT COOL.  320 00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:30,743      - MY DAD HAS LUNG CANCER.  321 00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:33,112  SO I'M A KID WITH   A SICK PARENT TOO.  322 00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:35,815  SO YOU DON'T GET TO BE       THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE  323 00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:36,816  WHO'S FUCKED UP.  324 00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:38,150      - WHO SAYS I'M FUCKED UP?  325 00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,718  - WELL, THAT'S   WHAT YOU'RE GONNA BE  326 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,787  WHEN I BEAT YOUR ASS   IN THIS GAME.  327 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:46,826  [upbeat rock music]  328 00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:49,728  ♪ ♪  329 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,965  - WHATEVER YOU'RE ABOUT   TO SAY, DON'T.  330 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,734      REMEMBER, THIS IS THE ACT   OF A GRIEVING WOMAN.  331 00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:56,735  - OH!  332 00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:57,736  - REBECCA.  333 00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:58,971  HEY, IT LOOKS LOVELY.  334 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:01,106  - IT IS FUNERAL-TASTIC.  335 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,341  - THANKS.   - REALLY.  336 00:14:02,374 --> 00:14:04,076  - HAVE YOU SEEN SEAN?   HE'S GONE AWOL.  337 00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,145  - MM-MMM.   - OH...ALL RIGHT.  338 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,313  JUST, UM, REMEMBER,  339 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,281  YOUR EULOGY COMES   AFTER HIS REMARKS.  340 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,851     I WANT EVERYTHING TO FLOW--       - OH, MY GOD.  341 00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:14,086  - JULIE?   - YOU'RE ALIVE!  342 00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:16,188  [both squealing]  343 00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,791     OHH! I SAW THE ANNOUNCEMENT       AND I THOUGHT--  344 00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,759  - OH, NO!   NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.  345 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,294  - DIDN'T HAVE FUNERAL       INFORMATION IN THE OBIT.  346 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:24,096  - OH, WELL,   I FOUND IT ONLINE.  347 00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:26,031      - I WENT WIDE ON TWITTER.   - YOU WHAT?  348 00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:31,003  - THIS FUNERAL IS OF MY UNBORN      CHILD, CATHY TOLKE.  349 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,571  - REBECCA MISCARRIED.  350 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,406  - OHH.   UH, I'M SO SORRY.  351 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,574  - THANK YOU.  352 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,842  - WHEN I MISCARRIED,   I PLANTED A TREE.  353 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,944  - WELL, I DIDN'T WANT TO PLANT      A GOD DAMN TREE.  354 00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:41,213  - JULIE WAS ON       MY HIGH SCHOOL SWIM TEAM.  355 00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:42,281  [laughter]   - CATHY!  356 00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:44,016  - OH, YOU'RE ALL HERE!  357 00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:48,921  [laughter and chatter]  358 00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:50,256  - WE RENTED A VAN.  359 00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:52,391  - OH, PLEASE TELL ME     LEAD-FOOT LISA DIDN'T DRIVE!      360 00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:55,828  [laughter]   - YOU KNOW, THIS IS A FUNERAL.     361 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:59,198      IT ISN'T T.G.I. FRIDAY'S   AT HAPPY HOUR.  362 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,033  COULD YOU ALL JUST      BRING IT DOWN A LITTLE BIT?      363 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,269  - REBECCA, THEY'RE--  364 00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:04,870  THEY'RE JUST HAPPY   I'M NOT DEAD.  365 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,473  - ALL RIGHT.   I'M GONNA CHECK ON THE BUFFET.     366 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,014  I'M AT MY OWN FUNERAL.  367 00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:16,982  - A-AND IT'S VERY NICE.  368 00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:19,251  EVERYTHING'S SO PINK.  369 00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:21,620  - WHOA, THREE IN A ROW.   TAKE THAT, SUCKER.  370 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:22,721  - THAT'S NOT FAIR.  371 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,390  THIS GAME'S FROM,   LIKE, THE '80s.  372 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,058  IT'S FOR OLD PEOPLE.  373 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,727  SORRY.   - UH! WHATEVER. PLEASE.  374 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,297     - HOW OLD ARE YOU, ANYWAY?  375 00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:33,032  - MY SHRINK SAYS I ACT   LIKE I'M 14.  376 00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,567  I'M LIKE, "I CAN DRIVE,   SO TAKE THAT."  377 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,803  - YEAH, I HATE SHRINKS.  378 00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:39,004  - OH, MY GOD, ME TOO.  379 00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:40,272  YOU KNOW, LIKE,      WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH PEOPLE      380 00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:41,373  ALREADY STARING AT US.  381 00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:42,474  AHH.   - YEAH.  382 00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:43,976    - I MEAN, IT'S NOT OUR FAULT      383 00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:45,377  OUR PARENTS GOT CANCER.  384 00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:48,247  JESUS, IT'S   SO FUCKING RANDOM!  385 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,015  [loudly] WHY US?  386 00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:52,885  - MIGHT WANT TO, UM,   USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE.  387 00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:55,020     - CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET?  388 00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,889  [shouts] I DON'T HAVE   AN INSIDE VOICE!  389 00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:58,624  [laughing]  390 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,163  [beeping]   - SHIT, UM...  391 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,433  I HAVE THIS CRAZY   FUNERAL THING TO GO TO  392 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:08,867     FOR MY UNCLE'S MISCARRIAGE.      393 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,703  - OH, SHUT UP.   THAT'S AWESOME.  394 00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:12,204  CAN I COME?  395 00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:13,205  - TO A FUNERAL?   - YEAH.  396 00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:14,406      - I DON'T EVEN WANNA GO.  397 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,741  - EXACTLY--YOU NEED   A KOC BUDDY.  398 00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:17,443  WE SHOULD TEST DRIVE   THIS DEATH THING.  399 00:16:18,877 --> 00:16:20,479  - I HAVE TO TELL YOU,   FOR A DEAD WOMAN,  400 00:16:20,512 --> 00:16:21,613      YOU LOOK REALLY AWESOME.  401 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:22,915  - WELL, THANKS.   [laughter]  402 00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:25,517  I'M--I'M SO SORRY   YOU CAME ALL THIS WAY.  403 00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:26,752  - OH, ARE YOU KIDDING?  404 00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:28,053  I WOULD HAVE   FLOWN IN FROM ANYWHERE.  405 00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:30,456  YOU WERE A REALLY GOOD FRIEND,      CATHY.  406 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,359      I REMEMBER THIS ONE DAY,   SENIOR YEAR,  407 00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:35,527  I WAS CRYING   IN THE CAFETERIA,  408 00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:36,662      AND YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE   WHO STOPPED  409 00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:38,163      AND ASKED WHAT WAS WRONG.  410 00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:40,132  I'D JUST GOTTEN INTO   CARLTON COLLEGE.  411 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,867  AND I REALLY,   REALLY WANTED TO GO.  412 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,402  BUT MY BOYFRIEND   WAS GOING TO U. MINN,  413 00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:46,005  AND I KNEW IT WOULD BE OVER WITH   HIM UNLESS I WENT TOO.  414 00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:49,141  AND DO YOU REMEMBER   WHAT YOU SAID?  415 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,909     - "U. MINN, THAT'S A CRAPPY       FOOTBALL TEAM."  416 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,144  - [laughs] NO, NO.  417 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,781  NO, YOU SAID,       "DON'T DELAY THE HAPPY."  418 00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:57,449  - THAT'S GOOD ADVICE.  419 00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:58,650  - IT WAS GREAT ADVICE.  420 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,719  I WENT TO CARLTON,   FORGOT ALL ABOUT MATT,  421 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,721      AND HAD AN AMAZING TIME.  422 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,156  AND MET MY HUSBAND.  423 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,025  - [chuckling]      OH, WELL, THAT'S TERRIFIC.  424 00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:07,526  - I LOVE THAT STORY.  425 00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:10,129      - SO...THANK YOU, CATHY.  426 00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:16,535  - [whispering] I DO NOT REMEMBER   ONE BIT OF THAT STORY.  427 00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:18,137  I AM SUCH AN ASSHOLE.  428 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:20,239      - [whispering] AN ASSHOLE   WHO GIVES GREAT ADVICE.  429 00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:21,807  - [chuckles]  430 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,343  - CATHY?   - HEY.  431 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,780  - YOU'RE ALIVE?   - SHE IS!  432 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,715  - [whispers] SHIT.  433 00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:31,984  - OH, PAULIE.  434 00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:35,154  OH, PAULIE,   I'M SO, SO SORRY.  435 00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:36,288      I'M TOTALLY HERE FOR YOU.  436 00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:38,857      - NO...CATHY DIDN'T DIE.  437 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,459  - WHAT?  438 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:42,294  - HUGE MIX-UP.  439 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:43,796      SHE'S ALIVE AND KICKING.  440 00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:45,898  SEE? RIGHT HERE.  441 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,269  - WOW.  442 00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:52,004  WOW. WELL, GREAT NEWS.  443 00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:53,172  - RIGHT.  444 00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:55,574  - AIN'T THAT A KICK   IN THE HEAD, HUH?  445 00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:58,477  LIKE A ZOMBIE MOVIE.   [growls]  446 00:17:58,510 --> 00:17:59,945  - HEH, SO, UM...  447 00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:02,347     - WELL, THERE'S AN OPEN BAR           WITH MY NAME ALL OVER IT.  448 00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:04,783      SO...I'LL DRINK TO THAT.  449 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:07,686  YEAH.   - OH, BUT, UM...  450 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:09,188     - IF YOU'RE REALLY HUNGRY,   THERE'S SOME  451 00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:11,290      TERRIFIC CALIFORNIA ROLLS   RIGHT OVER THE--  452 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,562  EXCUSE ME.  453 00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:21,133  - HI, HONEY.  454 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,301  HI!  455 00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,069  I'M CATHY.   I'M ADAM'S MOM.  456 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,637  - OH, MY GOSH, HI.   I'M POPPY.  457 00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:28,440  YOUR SON   IS TOTAL AWESOMENESS.  458 00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:30,476  - YES. YES, HE IS.  459 00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:32,778  AND HOW DO YOU KNOW   HIS AWESOMENESS?  460 00:18:32,811 --> 00:18:33,946  - UH, WE MET ONLINE.  461 00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:34,947  - WHAT?  462 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:37,316    - AT A CHAT ROOM FOR KIDS...      463 00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:39,785  WITH PARENTS   WHO HAVE CANCER.  464 00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:40,886  - YOU HAVE CANCER?  465 00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:42,087  - NO, SILLY.  466 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,056  I'M THE KID.  467 00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:46,125  WHO'S ABOUT TO GET   SOME FREE FOOD.  468 00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,329  - I DON'T UNDERSTAND.  469 00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:51,797      - IT'S A COMPUTER PROGRAM  470 00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:53,298  WHERE YOU CAN PUT   TWO FACES TOGETHER.  471 00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:55,067  AND SEE WHAT YOUR BABY   WOULD LOOK LIKE.  472 00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,002  - THIS CHILD LOOKS LIKE   AN OLD MAN.  473 00:18:57,035 --> 00:18:58,837  I AM UNCOMFORTABLE.  474 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,274  - MAYBE THEY ARE   JUST FRIENDS.  475 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,209  YOU KNOW?   MAY NOT BE A BAD THING  476 00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:05,677      FOR ADAM TO HAVE SOMEONE   TO HANG AROUND WITH  477 00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,246  WHO'S GOING THROUGH     THE SAME SHIT; I DON'T KNOW.      478 00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:09,281  - PAUL, SHE'S   PRACTICALLY MY AGE.  479 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:10,482  - SO? SO WHAT?  480 00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:12,518  I HAD AN OLDER FRIEND   WHEN I WAS GROWING UP.  481 00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:13,919    YOU KNOW, SHE WAS AN ARTIST.      482 00:19:13,952 --> 00:19:16,655  I WAS 16.   SHE WAS 40.  483 00:19:16,688 --> 00:19:18,724  WE USED TO HANG AROUND   TALKING ABOUT ROTHKO.  484 00:19:18,757 --> 00:19:21,627  OKAY, MAYBE I SAW HER       BOOB-A-RELLAS LIKE ONCE.  485 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:22,828  TWICE, MAYBE.  486 00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:24,663  - WILL YOU   TELL YOUR FRIENDS  487 00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:25,998  TO STOP HOGGING   THE PHOTO BOOTH?  488 00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:28,700      - DIDN'T YOU WANT PEOPLE   TO ENJOY IT?  489 00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:29,968  - WELL, SURE, THE RIGHT PEOPLE.    490 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,671  THE PEOPLE WHO ARE HERE      FOR MY LOSS, NOT YOUR LOSS.      491 00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:34,373      YOU'RE TOTALLY HIJACKING   MY FUNERAL.  492 00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:36,775  - ACTUALLY, REBECCA...  493 00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:38,877  YOU'RE HIJACKING MINE.  494 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,947     YEAH, NO, YOU CHOSE TO NAME       THE BABY AFTER ME.  495 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:43,949  YOU THREW   THIS CRAZY FUNERAL.  496 00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:45,317  YOU PUT IT ON TWITTER.  497 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,853  THANKS TO YOU,   I'M ALREADY DEAD.  498 00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:50,422     OH, LOOK, I THINK I'VE BEEN       MORE THAN SUPPORTIVE,  499 00:19:50,455 --> 00:19:53,125  BUT I'M THE ONE WHO'S       BEEN REALLY, REALLY SICK.  500 00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:55,794      THIS MAY BE MY LAST TIME     TO SEE A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE      501 00:19:55,827 --> 00:20:00,132  WHO CAME HERE...FOR ME.  502 00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:01,867  - FORGET ABOUT DOING   THE EULOGY.  503 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,068  - OHH...  504 00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:04,469  REBECCA!  505 00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:07,439  - FOR GOD'S SAKE.  506 00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:09,508  IS THAT "RUGBY SLUT"?  507 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:10,642  - NO. NO!  508 00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:11,677  JESUS! NO!  509 00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:16,348  - LOOK AT YOU.  510 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,450  YOU'RE ALIVE.   - AHH.  511 00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:20,586  VERY MUCH SO.  512 00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:23,488  [slurred] CATHY, I--      I DON'T WANT YOU TO WORRY.  513 00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:26,592  I--IF ANYTHING SHOULD   EVER HAPPEN TO YOU,  514 00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:28,493  I WILL TOTALLY   BE THERE FOR PAUL.  515 00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:31,029  - I'M SURE YOU WOULD.   - YEAH.  516 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,565  - HERE'S THE THING.  517 00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:36,568  I WILL MOST LIKELY...   GO BEFORE PAUL.  518 00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:38,971  - YEAH.   - AND AFTER I DO...  519 00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:42,341  I REALLY, REALLY HOPE   HE FINDS...  520 00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:43,342  AN AMAZING WOMAN  521 00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,344  TO LIVE THE REST   OF HIS LIFE WITH.  522 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:48,247  SOMEONE WHO CAN...   TAKE CARE OF HIM  523 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,615  AND HELP ADAM.  524 00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:51,783  - YOU ARE SO GENEROUS.  525 00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:54,386  - AND YOU   ARE SO NOT THAT WOMAN.  526 00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:57,256      IF YOU SO MUCH AS LAY ONE     FRENCH-MANICURED HAND ON HIM      527 00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:58,624      AFTER I'M IN THE GROUND,  528 00:20:58,657 --> 00:21:00,626  I WILL CLAW MY WAY   OUT OF THE DIRT,  529 00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:04,429    AND I WILL HAUNT YOU THE REST         OF YOUR SLUTTY, DRUNK LIFE.      530 00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:06,098  - HELLO! IS THIS ON?   [microphone thumping]  531 00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:07,633  [mic feedback]   YEAH, UM...  532 00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:10,569  SORRY TO INTERRUPT   YOUR LITTLE FESTIVAL OF DENIAL.    533 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:12,738  BUT, UM...  534 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:15,440  I JUST WANTED TO SAY   FUCK YOU VERY MUCH,  535 00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:16,842  U.S. OF "A."  536 00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,510  NOW, YOU CAN'T TELL US  537 00:21:18,543 --> 00:21:19,945     WHO DESERVES TO BE SHACKLED      538 00:21:19,978 --> 00:21:22,848  BY YOUR, UM,       YOUR AUTHORITARIAN SYSTEM  539 00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:25,717  OF IDENTITY.  540 00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:29,655  BABY CATHY   IS GONNA LIVE FOREVER.  541 00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:31,256  [belt unbuckling,   zipper unzipping]  542 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,624  RIGHT HERE!  543 00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:33,792  [gasps and laughter]  544 00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:35,427  THAT'S AWESOME.  545 00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:38,330  SAYONARA, SUCKERS!  546 00:21:38,363 --> 00:21:39,798  - SEAN, COME ON.   COME BACK.  547 00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:42,801  DON'T--       OH, OH, PLEASE DON'T GO.  548 00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:44,269  OH, GUYS...  549 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,971  UM...  550 00:21:46,004 --> 00:21:47,072  P-PLEASE DON'T GO,   EVERYONE.  551 00:21:47,105 --> 00:21:51,276  WE--WE HAVE SUSHI   FOR DAYS.  552 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,245  UM...  553 00:21:53,278 --> 00:21:54,713  Y-YOU...  554 00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:55,947  I-IF...  555 00:21:57,616 --> 00:21:58,617  - IT'S OKAY.   - UH...  556 00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:01,019  - IT'S OKAY, I GOT IT.  557 00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:07,626  I JUST--   I WANTED TO SAY, UM...  558 00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:09,361  YOU KNOW, I'M--I'M--  559 00:22:09,394 --> 00:22:12,130  I'M VERY LUCKY TO--  560 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,966  TO BE ALIVE TO--   TO SEE YOU ALL  561 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,537  AND TO HEAR   WHAT I MEANT TO YOU.  562 00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:19,671      YOU SHOULDN'T WAIT UNTIL   SOMEONE DIES  563 00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:21,239  TO TELL THEM   HOW YOU FEEL.  564 00:22:21,273 --> 00:22:22,474  SO THANK YOU.  565 00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:24,876  I LOVE YOU ALL.  566 00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:27,479  BUT MOST OF ALL, I...  567 00:22:31,249 --> 00:22:33,385  I'D LIKE TO THANK   BABY CATHY.  568 00:22:35,787 --> 00:22:38,957  THIS BABY DIDN'T EVEN   GET A CHANCE TO LIVE,  569 00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:40,892     AND SHE AFFECTED ALL OF US.      570 00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:43,829  SHE...  571 00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:46,098    SHE GAVE MY BROTHER A CHANCE,     572 00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:48,300      EVEN FOR A LITTLE WHILE,  573 00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:51,803  TO BE REALLY,   REALLY HAPPY.  574 00:22:51,837 --> 00:22:56,174  AND SHE BROUGHT OUT      THIS BEAUTIFUL, MATERNAL...      575 00:22:56,208 --> 00:23:00,312    SIDE OF HER TOUGH-ASS MOTHER           I HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE.  576 00:23:00,345 --> 00:23:04,916     AND SHE BROUGHT ALL OF YOU   HERE TODAY FOR ME.  577 00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:07,753  WH A GIFT.  578 00:23:07,786 --> 00:23:10,522  LIFE IS SO PRECIOUS,   AND IT'S WAY TOO FUCKING SHORT.    579 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,593  SO...  580 00:23:14,626 --> 00:23:18,296  DON'T DELAY THE HAPPY.  581 00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:20,866     AND THANK YOU, BABY CATHY,  582 00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:23,201  FOR REMINDING US ALL   OF THIS.  583 00:23:24,836 --> 00:23:25,971  TO BABY CATHY.  584 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,876  - [sobbing]  585 00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:40,385  - [sighs]  586 00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:43,121  - YOU AMERICANS   THROW NICE FUNERALS.  587 00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:44,856  IN UKRAINE,   WE SAY ONE PRAYER,  588 00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:48,226     WE THROW YOU ON THE GROUND   AND GET DRUNK.  589 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,895     - I'M JUST GLAD IT'S OVER.  590 00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:52,731  AND THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE   TO LOOK AT SOME CORPSE.  591 00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,800  WHEN I SAW MY GRANDMA   LAID OUT IN HER COFFIN,  592 00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:56,568  ALL WAXY,  593 00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:58,437  I HAD NIGHTMARES FOR,   LIKE, A MONTH.  594 00:23:58,470 --> 00:23:59,771  I NEVER NEED TO SEE   ANOTHER DEAD BODY  595 00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:02,741      FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE,   THANK YOU VERY MUCH.  596 00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:03,909  - DON'T TURN AROUND.  597 00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:05,744  - WHAT? WHAT?  598 00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:07,979  - THERE MIGHT BE   A DECEASED BEHIND YOU.  599 00:24:08,013 --> 00:24:09,714  - OH, SHIT, SHIT.   I FEEL IT.  600 00:24:09,748 --> 00:24:11,116  - LOOK AT ME.   LOOK AT ME.  601 00:24:11,149 --> 00:24:12,350  LOOK ME IN THE EYES.  602 00:24:12,384 --> 00:24:15,153  IT WILL BE OVER SOON.  603 00:24:15,187 --> 00:24:18,123  I WILL PROTECT YOU.  604 00:24:20,525 --> 00:24:22,260    - YOU GOT NICE EYES, UKRAINE.     605 00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:25,363  - BECAUSE THEY'RE   LOOKING AT YOU.  606 00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:27,766  - DAMN.  607 00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:31,570  DEATH MAKES ME HORNY.  608 00:24:31,603 --> 00:24:33,538  MMM.  609 00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:38,743  - THANKS FOR INVITING ME TO YOUR   MOM'S FUNERAL, YOU KOC.  610 00:24:38,777 --> 00:24:39,744  - YOU'RE WEIRD.  611 00:24:39,778 --> 00:24:40,745  [engine starts]  612 00:24:40,779 --> 00:24:42,013  I KNOW I AM,   BUT WHAT ARE YOU?  613 00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:43,849  - I'M AWESOME.   - YOU'RE AWESOME, DUDE!  614 00:24:43,882 --> 00:24:46,117  - I KNOW!  615 00:24:50,956 --> 00:24:53,692     - I REALLY SORT OF ENJOYED   YOUR FAUX FUNERAL.  616 00:24:53,725 --> 00:24:55,026     IT SET THE BAR PRETTY HIGH.      617 00:24:55,060 --> 00:24:57,329     - SAY WHAT YOU WANT, BUT...      618 00:24:57,362 --> 00:24:59,531    REBECCA KIND OF GOT IT RIGHT.     619 00:24:59,564 --> 00:25:02,133     I MEAN, IF YOU'RE GONNA GO,       GO BIG.  620 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,803  IT'S YOUR GRAND FINALE.   WHY SCRIMP?  621 00:25:07,205 --> 00:25:08,507  - CAN I MEET YOU   IN THE CAR?  622 00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:09,941  I JUST GOTTA DO   ONE QUICK THING.  623 00:25:16,147 --> 00:25:18,783  I WANT THE BEST      BURIAL PLOT THAT YOU HAVE.  624 00:25:18,817 --> 00:25:20,852  FULL SUN...  625 00:25:20,886 --> 00:25:23,021  LEVEL GROUND...  626 00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:24,990      THE MORE SUN, THE BETTER.  627 00:25:25,023 --> 00:25:27,392    CONSIDER THIS A DOWN PAYMENT.     628 00:25:27,425 --> 00:25:28,960  - VERY GOOD.  629 00:25:36,067 --> 00:25:37,135  [knock on door]  630 00:25:37,168 --> 00:25:38,203  - IT'S OPEN!  631 00:25:42,841 --> 00:25:45,176  - HEY.  632 00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:47,312      - THAT WAS A NICE SPEECH.  633 00:25:47,345 --> 00:25:48,513  THANK YOU.  634 00:25:50,515 --> 00:25:52,384    - I'M SORRY ABOUT MY FRIENDS.     635 00:25:56,321 --> 00:25:58,056  - DO YOU THINK...  636 00:25:58,089 --> 00:26:00,959      THAT WE WOULD BE FRIENDS   IF WE MET NOW?  637 00:26:00,992 --> 00:26:02,827  YOU KNOW, AS ADULTS?  638 00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:07,198      - HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW.  639 00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:09,334    - MAYBE WE PEAKED IN OUR 20s.     640 00:26:09,367 --> 00:26:11,603  MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE   LEFT WELL ENOUGH ALONE.  641 00:26:11,636 --> 00:26:14,439  WE HAD GREAT MEMORIES.  642 00:26:14,472 --> 00:26:16,007  WOULD YOU AND I   EVEN BE HANGING OUT  643 00:26:16,041 --> 00:26:18,977  IF I WASN'T CARRYING       YOUR BROTHER'S BABY OR...  644 00:26:19,010 --> 00:26:21,947      [chuckles] WOULD HE AND I   STILL BE TOGETHER?  645 00:26:21,980 --> 00:26:24,849  I DON'T KNOW.  646 00:26:24,883 --> 00:26:27,218      - WAIT, ARE YOU LEAVING?  647 00:26:30,689 --> 00:26:32,891    - I THINK THAT SEAN AND I...      648 00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:36,294  BOTH NEED SOMEBODY TO TAKE CARE     OF US RIGHT NOW.  649 00:26:36,328 --> 00:26:38,129  AND NEITHER ONE OF US   IS UP FOR IT.  650 00:26:38,163 --> 00:26:40,532  SO...I'M GOING BACK   TO CHICAGO.  651 00:26:40,565 --> 00:26:43,134  SPEND SOME TIME ALONE,   YOU KNOW?  652 00:26:53,478 --> 00:26:55,146  TAKE CARE OF SEAN.  653 00:26:55,180 --> 00:26:57,482  - OKAY.  654 00:26:57,515 --> 00:26:59,517     - HE RAN OFF BEFORE I EVEN   HAD A CHANCE  655 00:26:59,551 --> 00:27:02,787  TO TALK HIM, SO...  656 00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:05,523  - REBECCA, I'M SO SORRY   ABOUT THE BABY.  657 00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:14,432  - I SHOULD HAVE   PLANTED A TREE.  658 00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:19,137  - ♪ WE'LL PARAPHRASE   ETERNITIES ♪  659 00:27:19,170 --> 00:27:24,709      ♪ AND, OH, THE EVOLUTIONS   OF YOUR SMILE ♪  660 00:27:24,743 --> 00:27:28,813     - REMEMBER, THEY'RE SMALL.  661 00:27:28,847 --> 00:27:30,615  JUST ROCK HER.  662 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,617     LET HER KNOW YOU'RE THERE.  663 00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:36,855  - ♪ AS THE DAYLIGHT'S DRAWN IN ♪   [baby cooing]  664 00:27:36,888 --> 00:27:42,861  ♪ AND THE FEELING   FADES AWAY ♪  665 00:27:42,894 --> 00:27:44,863  ♪ ♪  666 00:27:44,896 --> 00:27:49,134    ♪ BUT THE BELLS ARE CHIMING ♪     667 00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:52,871  ♪ AND THE HEIGHTS OF DIAMOND ♪     668 00:27:52,904 --> 00:27:58,009  ♪ AS I'M TRYING   TO FIND MY WAY ♪  669 00:27:58,043 --> 00:27:59,944  ♪ ♪  670 00:27:59,978 --> 00:28:03,548  ♪ AND SILENTLY   YOUR SECRETS SCRAWLED ♪  671 00:28:03,581 --> 00:28:07,318  ♪ ON PAPER CRANES   AND BATHROOM WALLS ♪  672 00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:12,924      ♪ BUT NO ONE'S EVER DARED   FIGURE YOU OUT ♪  673 00:28:12,957 --> 00:28:14,993  ♪ ♪  674 00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:19,397  ♪ SO YOU HELD ME LIKE   A SINKING STONE ♪  675 00:28:19,431 --> 00:28:23,268  ♪ THE ONE YOU SHOULD   HAVE NEVER THROWN ♪  676 00:28:23,301 --> 00:28:26,971  ♪ BUT IT'S TOO LATE,   IT'S TOO LATE ♪  677 00:28:27,005 --> 00:28:30,008      Captioning by  CaptionMax   www.captionmax.com  78338

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.