Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE BIG C...

I HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE THAT I'M SICK.

- I'VE BEEN REALLY CONFUSED.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE FEELINGS, BUT I DO.

- YOU USED TO LOVE THE GUY WHO DID SILLY SHIT LIKE THIS.

- I'VE CHANGED.

- [moaning] - REBECCA.

- IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME TO DO LAUNDRY, SIS.

- I'M PREGNANT! - WHAT?

- GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, OR I'LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT.

- YOU CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE YOU PUT A GUN?

- I HAVE ALZHEIMER'S. [gunshot]

- WHAT'S THAT?

- IT'S MARLENE'S HOUSE. SHE GAVE IT TO ME.

I'M GIVING IT TO YOU.

- AND LOOK OUT FOR THOMAS. HE LIKES YOU.

- I HAVE CANCER.

I WANT TO DO INTERLEUKIN.

- THERE ARE A LOT OF SIDE EFFECTS.

- JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND RELAX.

- [sobbing]

[Leftover Cuties' Game Called Life playing]

- ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪

♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪

♪ ♪

♪ STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪

♪ ♪

♪ IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE ♪

♪ WILL SOMEONE WAKE ME UP SOON ♪

♪ AND TELL ME ♪

♪ THIS WAS JUST THE GAME WE PLAYED ♪

♪ CALLED LIFE ♪

- WE MAKE GOOD RUNNING PARTNERS.

- YEAH.

NO MATTER HOW REPULSED BY YOU I AM,

YOU CAN'T DENY OUR BIOLOGICAL BOND

MAKES YOU CLOSER TO ME THAN ANYONE ELSE ON EARTH.

- WHICH IS WHY I--

I REALLY NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

- HEY!

WAIT UP!

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

SLOW DOWN, SPEEDY!

I CAN'T RUN THAT FAST.

I'M DEAD.

- [panting]

- DON'T WORRY.

I'VE GOT THE KEY.

- [gasps]

[screams]

[gasping]

[monitor beeping]

- [moaning]

[both groaning]

- OH, OH, OH.

OH, OH.

- [laughing]

I LIKE YOU A LOT.

- I LIKE YOU A LOT TOO.

MM.

- AND I LIKE YOU A LOT TOO.

- [laughing]

PLEASE STAY.

- SWEET DREAMS, YOU TWO.

- AWW.

[crickets chirping]

- I HAVE A SPLITTING HEADACHE.

- WELL, YOUR BRAIN SCANS ARE CLEAR.

SO THAT'S JUST AN UNFORTUNATE SIDE EFFECT

OF THE IL-2.

- SOMETIMES I SEE PARTS OF THOSE DREAMS

EVEN WHEN I'M NOT DREAMING.

OW.

- ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA WRITE YOU A PRESCRIPTION

FOR A PAIN RELIEVER AND MUSCLE RELAXER.

THAT SHOULD HELP.

- WELL, IF IT DOESN'T, I'M GONNA ASK YOU

TO DRIVE OVER MY FACE WITH YOUR CAR.

- OR, IF THAT DOESN'T WORK,

A LOT OF PATIENTS FIND THAT SMOKING MARIJUANA

CAN REALLY EASE THE SIDE EFFECTS.

- WELL, I MIGHT HAVE A COUPLE OF STUDENTS

THAT IF I SNIFFED THEIR HAIR LONG ENOUGH,

IT MIGHT WORK.

IS THERE ANY CHANCE THAT WE COULD START

THE NEXT ROUND ON A FRIDAY THIS TIME?

- I THINK WE NEED TO STOP HERE.

- WHY?

AM I CURED?

[laughing] ONLY TWO ROUNDS,

AND I'M ALL BETTER?

- I'M SORRY, CATHY.

WE KNEW WHEN WE STARTED IT'S JUST NOT

EFFECTIVE FOR SOME PEOPLE.

- WELL, IF IT'S NOT WORKING,

THEN IT'S JUST NOT STRONG ENOUGH.

I MEAN, CLEARLY, I HAVE A VERY STUBBORN CANCER.

- WE'VE DONE TWO ROUNDS, AND THE TUMORS ARE UNCHANGED.

- WELL, IF WE JUST HIT 'EM AGAIN--

- DURING THE IL-2,

YOUR KIDNEY FUNCTION SEVERELY DETERIORATED.

YOUR BODY JUST CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER COURSE.

- I WANT A SECOND OPINION.

HAVE YOU HEARD OF A DR. ATTICUS SHERMAN?

- I HAVE.

- PAUL READ ABOUT A STAGE IV WOMAN

WHO WAS COMPLETELY CURED AFTER SEEING HIM.

- LOOK, CATHY, I-I'M ALL FOR MY PATIENTS

GETTING A SECOND OPINION

IF IT MAKES THEM MORE COMFORTABLE,

BUT I JUST--

I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE NOT LOOKING

FOR SOMEONE WHO'S JUST GONNA TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR.

- NO, I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO'S GONNA KEEP ME ALIVE.

- THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO.

- WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE.

YOU'RE TELLING ME TO ROLL A JOINT

AND JUST WAIT IT OUT.

- IS THIS BECAUSE I KISSED YOU?

BECAUSE I'M TRULY SORRY ABOUT THAT.

I CROSSED A LINE. I NEVER SH--

- TODD, NO.

IT'S NOT.

IT'S REALLY NOT.

- THEN WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WHEN DR. SHERMAN

TELLS YOU THE SAME THING I'M TELLING YOU?

COME BACK TO ME, OR KEEP SEEING HIM?

- I AM A NEW PATIENT,

SO I WILL PRESS TWO.

- I'M GONNA PUT MY FOOT IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL.

I WANT YOU TO TURN IT ON.

SERIOUSLY, TURN ON THE DISPOSAL.

I CAN'T FEEL IT.

- I KNOW WHY I KEEP SEEING YOU.

YOU'RE TRYING TO PULL ME OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE, MARLENE.

BUT IT IS NOT GONNA WORK, OKAY?

- IT'S NOT SO BAD OVER HERE.

AND IT'S NOT TRUE WHAT THEY SAY

ABOUT GETTING PUNISHED FOR OFFING YOURSELF.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE MORE RED TAPE,

BUT NO BIG THING.

- DOESN'T MEAN IT WAS A GOOD IDEA.

[phone beeps]

HELLO, THIS IS CATHY JAMISON CALLING

FOR DOCTOR SHERMAN AGAIN.

YOU HAVE MY NUMBER FROM THE LAST THREE MESSAGES

I LEFT.

I'M STAGE IV.

THERE'S NO STAGE V.

- [laughing] - CALL ME.

- HEY, MOM.

- OH!

- I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.

UM, CAN I GO TO MIA'S?

- UH, WE--WE HAVE THAT--

WE HAVE THAT APPOINTMENT WITH THE THERAPIST, REMEMBER?

- YOU KNOW, I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA.

WHAT IF I DIDN'T GO SEE THE SHRINK?

- I LOVE YOUR IDEA.

THINK I'LL STICK WITH MINE.

- YOU KNOW, SHRINKS CHARGE TOO MUCH.

- MAYBE YOU SHOULD GROW UP AND BE ONE.

- HAR, HAR. - NO, ADAM.

THIS IS BIGGER THAN ALL OF US,

SO JUST DO THIS FOR ME, OKAY?

- [sighs]

FINE.

[flatulence]

- OH, ADAM! - CAREFUL, DAD.

SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH MOM'S STOMACH.

- YOU OKAY, HONEY? WHOA.

- YEAH. - THAT'S DISGUSTING.

- THAT WAS ADAM.

- OH, COME ON, HONEY. FESS UP.

YOU GOT CANCER.

YOU CAN FART AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.

- THAT WASN'T ME!

HE KEEPS DOING THAT.

HE'S BEEN SO SWEET, AND THEN HE, YOU KNOW,

HE DOES THAT AND JUST WALKS AWAY.

- WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF IT REALLY WAS ADAM,

THEN WE SHOULD SKIP THE THERAPIST

AND TAKE HIM STRAIGHT TO THE GASTROENTEROLOGIST.

YOU STILL HAVE THAT HEADACHE? DID YOU TAKE YOUR MEDICINE?

- IT MADE MY TONGUE SO LOOSE I BIT IT FOUR TIMES.

- THEN WE HAVE TO GET HIM TO WRITE YOU SOMETHING ELSE.

- WELL, HE SAID I COULD SMOKE POT IF IT DIDN'T WORK.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

THIS GUY CAN'T EVEN KNOCK OUT A FRICKIN' HEADACHE?

WHEN--WHEN ARE WE GETTING IN TO SEE SHERMAN?

- I KEEP LEAVING MESSAGES,

BUT THEY NEVER CALL ME BACK.

- SOUNDS LIKE MY DATING YEARS.

BUT THEN, LOOK HOW THAT TURNED OUT FOR ME.

- OW.

- OH, SORRY.

- UGH.

- HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR MOM BEING SICK?

- HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- WELL, IT SUCKS. I HATE IT.

I WISH SHE WASN'T SICK.

- MM. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WISH?

- THAT I WAS AT MY FRIEND'S HOUSE.

- MM.

AND WHAT WOULD BEING AT YOUR FRIEND'S HOUSE MEAN?

- THAT I WASN'T HERE.

- [chuckles]

WHAT'S WRONG ABOUT BEING HERE?

- YOU CHARGE TOO MUCH.

- DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CHARGE?

- NO. - AH.

HE SAYS HE JUST WANTS TO HANG OUT

WITH HIS FRIENDS.

- BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

WHAT, HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE AROUND ME

BECAUSE HE'S--HE'S AFRAID I'M GONNA DIE

IN FRONT OF HIM?

- MOST TEENAGERS I SEE WHO HAVE AN ILL PARENT

TELL ME THEY JUST WANT TO HANG OUT WITH THEIR FRIENDS.

- BUT WHAT DOES THAT REALLY MEAN?

- I THINK HE JUST WANTS TO HANG OUT

WITH HIS FRIENDS.

LOOK, FOR THERAPY TO WORK, EVEN WITH YOUNG PEOPLE,

THEY'VE GOT TO WANT TO BE HERE.

NOW, HE SEEMS LIKE A NICE KID

WHO JUST WANTS TO FEEL NORMAL.

SO UNLESS HE'S BEEN DEMONSTRATING

ANY UNUSUAL OR OUTRAGEOUS BEHAVIOR

THAT YOU'RE PARTICULARLY CONCERNED ABOUT...

- HE'S BEEN AGGRESSIVELY FARTING.

HE'S BEEN FARTING.

POINTEDLY AND AGGRESSIVELY.

HE EVEN FART-FRAMED CATHY.

- WHEN YOU SAY "AGGRESSIVE,"

WAS ANYBODY HURT?

- NO.

- DEEPLY OFFENDED.

- JUST TRY NOT TO PUT TOO MUCH WEIGHT

IN EVERYTHING THAT ADAM DOES,

AND ENJOY EACH OTHER.

- [scoffs]

CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING ELSE?

- SURE.

- I HAVE A MANIC-DEPRESSIVE BROTHER

WHO I HAVEN'T TOLD YET ABOUT ME.

ANYTHING YOU SUGGEST?

- IS HE MEDICATED? - NO.

- WELL, JUST MAKE SURE YOU GET HIM

IN A VERY CALM PLACE FIRST.

AND IF HE GETS VIOLENT,

CALL 911.

- YOU'VE BEEN A BIG HELP.

[door clicks]

- DID YOU HAVE BRAXTON HICKS CONTRACTIONS WITH ADAM?

HEY, ADAM. - HEY, WHAT'S UP?

- HI, SEAN, HOW ARE YOU?

- I FEEL LIKE MY BLOOD IS CARBONATED.

I USUALLY DON'T GET THIS EXCITED

ABOUT THE FEMALE BODY

WHEN I'M ON THE OUTSIDE OF IT.

WELL, DID YOU?

- DID I WHAT?

- UH, HAVE, UM, INTERMITTENT PHYSICAL CONTRACTIONS,

BEGINNING AS EARLY AS THE START

OF THE SECOND TRIMESTER,

IN ORDER TO PREPARE YOUR UTERUS FOR LABOR?

NOW, I HAVEN'T GOTTEN REBECCA ON BOARD YET,

BUT I REALLY THINK

I COULD DELIVER THIS BABY MYSELF.

- PLEASE, HAVE THIS BABY IN A HOSPITAL.

WHAT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG?

- IT'S MORE LIKELY TO GO WRONG

IN A HOSPITAL, CATH.

RAMPANT STAPH INFECTIONS, BABY STEALING.

AND PLUS WHICH, DOCTORS ARE EVIL PEOPLE.

- HEY, UM, CAN I GO TO MIA'S NOW?

- YEAH, JUST CALL IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE HOME FOR DINNER.

- OKAY, SWEET. [flatulence]

- OH, ADAM!

- WHOA! - WHAT, REALLY?

- OH, DUDE. - MY BAD, MY BAD.

GEEZ.

CALM DOWN.

- [coughing weakly]

[door closes]

- I'M GONNA MAKE LUNCH.

- OH.

- I'LL BRING YOU SOMETHING.

- OH, YOU BETTER GET RID OF THAT SMELL

BEFORE YOU BRING FOOD OUT.

UGH.

- SO I'M ON YOUR CANCELLATION LIST?

GREAT, GREAT.

I'LL JUST TELL MY TUMORS TO STOP GROWING

UNTIL YOU CALL ME BACK WITH A SPOT.

GEEZ.

OH.

NO! THOMAS!

OH, NO, THOMAS. YOU GIVE THOSE BACK.

THOSE ARE VERY BAD FOR YOU.

PAUL!

OKAY, NOW LISTEN.

I'M GONNA PUT MY FINGERS DOWN YOUR THROAT.

AND I NEED YOU TO THROW UP.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER? ARE YOU OKAY?

- HE ATE SOME OF MY MUSCLE RELAXERS.

CALL THE VET.

- OH, BOY. - COME ON, BOY, COME ON.

NO, HERE, I NEED YOU TO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING GROSS.

- YES, UH, YES. I HAVE A BASSET EMERGENCY.

- WHAT YA DOING?

- OH, HE ATE SOME OF MY MEDICATION.

- THESE?

OH, WOW.

THESE ARE SUPERSONIC.

- HYDROGEN PEROXIDE.

THAT'LL GET HIM TO THROW UP. - CYCLO--UM--

- THOSE'LL BE IN HIS BLOODSTREAM

IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES.

HOW MANY DID HE TAKE?

- AT LEAST TWO.

I DON'T HAVE HYDROGEN PEROXIDE.

- THOSE PILLS ARE SOME OF MY BEST SELLERS.

PEOPLE LIKE A FAST-ACTING DRUG.

- HOW MANY DID HE EAT? - AT LEAST TWO.

- AT LEAST TWO.

- COME HERE, SWEETIE. COME HERE.

- WOW.

ARE YOU TAKING THESE TOO?

IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT I DON'T KNOW?

YOU SUFFER FROM INTRACTABLE MIGRAINES?

- NO. ARE YOU OKAY?

- EPILEPTIC SEIZURES? - NO.

- OH, THAT SANDWICH LOOKS GOOD.

DO YOU MIND IF I HAVE-- - NO!

- LITTLE STINGY WITH THE SANDWICH.

- NO, I-- I CRUSHED UP SOME PILLS.

I PUT THEM IN THERE.

- BECAUSE YOU HAVE TROUBLE SWALLOWING PILLS?

- NO, IT'S FOR SEAN.

I-I--IT WAS FOR SEAN.

I NEEDED HIM TO STAY CALM.

- WHY? - BECAUSE I HA--

I HAVE CANCER, REBECCA!

THERE, NOW YOU KNOW. I HAVE CANCER.

SO IF YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN, TAKE A BITE.

BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S RECOMMENDED

FOR THE BABY.

- OH, CATH.

OH, MY GOD.

W-WHAT KIND?

- MELANOMA.

THE REALLY NOT GOOD KIND.

- I'M JUST SO STUNNED.

YOU'RE GONNA BE MY FIRST REALLY GOOD FRIEND

THAT HAS HAD CANCER.

I WILL BE FOREVER CHANGED.

- HOPEFULLY FOR THE BETTER.

LISTEN.

PROMISE ME YOU WILL NOT TELL SEAN.

- OH, I-- - I WANT TO TELL HIM MYSELF.

BUT RIGHT NOW, MY-- MY HEAD HURTS.

- OKAY, HE SHOULD BE FINE, BUT THEY WANNA KNOW

IF HE SEEMS LETHARGIC.

NO MORE THAN USUAL.

WAIT HERE.

- NO, YOU WAIT HERE.

THIS IS MY HEADACHE.

IT'S MY ILLEGAL MEDICATION.

I'LL MAKE THE TRANSACTION.

- OKAY.

OKAY, PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET NOW, SWEETIE.

THERE YOU GO.

SMOOTH.

OKAY, YEAH.

- ♪ HEY-AH, HEY-AH ♪

- I LOVE THAT YOU KNEW HOW TO SCORE ME WEED.

- I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THE GUY

THAT I USED TO CALL 20 YEARS AGO

STILL HAS THE SAME PAGER NUMBER.

AND THAT I REMEMBERED IT WAS LISTED

UNDER BICYCLE PARTS IN MY OLD ADDRESS BOOK.

- YOU HELP ME.

YOU MAKE THINGS BETTER.

- AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA GET YOU IN TO SEE THE OTHER DOCTOR.

STARTING TOMORROW, I'M GONNA CALL HIM

EVERY FIVE MINUTES.

MAYBE I'LL EVEN SHOW UP THERE.

- OH, THAT'S OKAY.

EVEN IF I DON'T.

TODD WAS PROBABLY RIGHT.

HE'LL JUST SAY THE SAME THING.

- WHY DOES HE GO BY TODD?

THE GUY'S SO YOUNG.

I FEEL LIKE HE'S, LIKE, READING THE CANCER BOOK,

LIKE, FIVE MINUTES BEFORE YOU SHOW UP.

WE NEED AN OLD GUY.

- WELL, HE WANTS TO HELP.

HE REALLY DOES. I KNOW HE DOES.

CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET?

- SURE.

- HE KISSED ME.

- WAIT, WHAT?

- DR. TODD MAUER KISSED ME.

HE TRIED TO K--[laughing]

KISS ME.

- HE KISSED YOU?

- I DIDN'T KISS HIM BACK.

- THAT LITTLE BOY KISSED YOU?

WHERE?

- IN CANADA.

- NO, I MEAN ON YOUR BODY.

- OH! [wheezing laughter]

I THOUGHT--

I THOUGHT YOU MEANT WHERE--

THE LOCATION, WHERE.

- [snickering] STOP LAUGHING!

IT'S NOT OKAY.

AT SOME POINT, I'M GONNA BE REALLY MAD ABOUT THIS.

- [wheezing]

- BUT WHEN YOU LAUGH LIKE--

[laughing]

WHEN YOU LAUGH LIKE THAT, IT MAKES ME LAUGH.

- ♪ WE GON' TURN AROUND ♪

♪ WE GOING TWO WAYS, BABY ♪

- THOMAS?

[sighs]

THOMAS.

THOMAS.

THOMAS, THOM--

OH, THANK GOD.

OH!

OKAY, COME ON.

COME ON, LET'S GO PEE.

COME ON.

CLEARLY, REBECCA TOLD YOU.

- YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME.

- I'M SORRY.

I TRIED ONCE, BUT WHEN I SAW

HOW UPSET YOU GOT, I JUST--

I COULDN'T HANDLE IT.

- JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HOW SELFISH YOU ARE, CATHY.

YOU COULDN'T STAND TO FEEL YOUR FEELINGS,

SO YOU THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'LL BECOME A LYING BITCH INSTEAD."

- OH, DON'T BE MEAN.

- THAT'S NOT A JUDGMENT.

IT'S AN, UH, IT'S AN OBSERVATION.

BEFORE ME, I SEE A WOMAN

ABOUT 5'8" IN HEIGHT,

FAKE BLONDE HAIR FOUR INCHES TOO LONG FOR HER AGE,

WHOSE FAVORITE PASTIME IS TRYING TO CONTROL EVERYBODY.

NOW AUDITIONING FOR THE ROLE OF GOD,

CATHY JAMISON!

- I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.

- IT'S JUST ME BEING ME.

SORRY IF I CONFUSED YOU.

DO I AMUSE YOU?

I'M SO ELATED THAT YOU'RE FINALLY HAVING TO EAT

YOUR OWN SHIT.

IS IT GOOD?

WHY DON'T YOU GET GET SOME CHOPSTICKS AND SAVOR IT?

- SEAN, I LOVE YOU, AND I WANT TO HELP YOU.

WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH ME,

AND WE'LL GO GET SOME HELP?

- NO, YOU NEED TO GET SOME HELP.

YOU NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY.

- IF I COULD MANAGE TO GET A FUCKING APPOINTMENT,

THAT'S WHERE I'D BE RIGHT NOW.

- WELL, IT'S NO WONDER YOU GOT CANCER, CATHY.

YOU'RE SO FULL OF LIES AND EVIL,

YOU GAVE IT TO YOURSELF.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, SEAN?

FROM NOW ON, I'M FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE.

NOT YOURS.

SO YOU, MY BROTHER,

YOU CAN SUCK IT AND FUCK IT.

spray-paint hissing] BECAUSE I...

AM...

DONE.

DONE.

- DR. MAUER.

- OH, HEY, PAUL.

- IT IS NOT OKAY FOR YOU TO KISS MY WIFE.

IS THAT WHY YOU BECAME AN ONCOLOGIST?

'CAUSE YOU LOVE HOW DESPERATE THEY ARE

WHEN THEY COME TO YOU?

- I'M SORRY, OKAY?

YOU'RE RIGHT. I-I-I CROSSED A LINE.

I'VE ALREADY TALKED TO MY MENTOR ABOUT IT.

I'M EING A THERAPIST.

- I DON'T GIVE A SHIT

ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY.

AND YOU WONDER WHY WE WANT A SECOND OPINION?

'CAUSE YOU'RE A ROOKIE.

AND WE DON'T WANNA BE PART OF YOUR LEARNING CURVE.

SHE ALREADY HAS SOMEBODY WHO LOVES HER.

SHE NEEDS SOMEBODY WHO CAN SAVE HER.

- HEY, PAUL,

MY PERSONAL FEELINGS NEVER COMPROMISED

HER TREATMENT.

AT LEAST I LOOK AT HER AS A HUMAN BEING.

THE NEXT PLACE YOU GO, SHE'S JUST GONNA BE

THE SUM OF HER DATA.

- WELL, APPARENTLY, TREATING PEOPLE LIKE THE SUM

OF THEIR DATA MAKES YOU PRETTY POPULAR.

'CAUSE WE CAN'T EVEN GET IN TO SEE THE OTHER GUY.

- WHAT A SURPRISE, WITH ALL YOUR CHARM.

- MAKE SURE YOU GET A DOCTOR TO LOOK AT THAT LIP.

- I'VE BEEN ON HOLD FOR 15 MINUTES.

I KEEP FORGETTING WHAT I'M DOING.

I THINK I'M TRYING TO WIN SOMETHING.

- [sighing] I WISH I COULD HELP YOU.

DRUG REPS HAVE EASY ACCESS TO DOCTORS.

AND DOCTORS HAVE EASY ACCESS TO DRUG REPS.

WITH ALL THE EDUCATED COCK I'VE HAD IN MY MOUTH,

IT IS A CRUEL JOKE

THAT MY BABY DADDY IS A BIPOLAR DROPOUT.

- WHO, THANKS TO YOU,

IS SPEWING VITRIOL AT ME FROM ACROSS THE STREET.

- LOOK, I'M SORRY.

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET HIM

TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN THE HOUSE.

AND THEN HE FINALLY DID, AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN,

WE FELT LIKE A COUPLE,

AND COUPLES TELL EACH OTHER THINGS.

AND THEN HE WENT CUCKOO,

AND NOW I CAN'T GET HIM BACK IN THE HOUSE.

- REBECCA, INSTEAD OF TRYING TO GET HIM BACK IN THE HOUSE,

YOU MIGHT CONSIDER

GETTING YOURSELF OUT OF IT FOR A WHILE.

- WHY? - BECAUSE HE'S DANGEROUS.

AND HE'S SICK.

- YOU'RE SICK.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M GONNA ABANDON YOU.

- YEAH, BUT THE DIFFERENCE IS I'M TRYING TO GET HELP.

UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S WITH A DOCTOR

WHO I CAN'T SEEM TO GET AN APPOINTMENT WITH

AND WHO SHOULD LOSE HIS LICENSE FOR MAKING ME LISTEN

TO THE MUZAK VERSION OF ALL THE SONGS I USED TO LOVE.

- OKAY.

I'M, UH...

I'M GONNA CHECK IN ON YOU A LITTLE LATER.

OKAY?

[door scrapes]

- OH, POOR ME.

I CAN'T GET IN TO SEE THE DOCTOR.

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GO TAKE A NAP.

- THIS IS NOT OKAY.

I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU.

JUST GET OUT OF HERE.

- ANYBODY CAN PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE.

YOU NEED TO START THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX.

AND BY BOX, I MEAN COFFIN.

- DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

YOU TOOK YOURSELF OUT. NOT ME.

I'M FIGHTING TO STAY.

SO YOU GET OUTTA HERE.

JUST GET OUTTA HERE, BITCH.

GET OUT!

I'M HERE TO SEE THE DOCTOR.

[phones ringing]

[door buzzes]

OH, UH, PARDON ME, SIR.

DR. SHERMAN, HI.

MY NAME IS CATHY.

- I'M A NURSE.

- YOU'RE NOT A DRUG REP, ARE YOU?

- NO.

NO, I'M NOT.

I'M A DYING WOMAN WHO'S SIMPLY TRYING TO SEE

THE RIGHT GODDAMN DOCTOR

AND ASK HIM IF HE HAS ANY ADVICE

ON HOW TO SAVE MY LIFE.

BUT THE BEST I CAN DO

IS I CAN SPEND TWO HOURS A DAY,

TIME I'D RATHER SPEND LIVING MY FUCKING LIFE,

ON HOLD WITH YOUR OFFICE,

FINDING OUT IF ANYONE HAS CANCELED.

THAT'S NOT OKAY.

- I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO LEAVE.

- I WILL NOT LEAVE.

HELLO.

HI.

HI, I'M CATHY.

CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING AN APPOINTMENT

WITH DR. SHERMAN.

APPARENTLY ONE OF THE HOTTEST TICKETS IN TOWN.

SO WOULD-- IF ANY OF YOU

IN MAYBE STAGES I THROUGH III

WOULD CONSIDER LETTING ME GO FIRST, THAT--

[phone rings]

EXCUSE ME.

[ringing continues]

PROBABLY MY SON.

HELLO?

- THIS IS DR. SHERMAN'S OFFICE CALLING

FOR CATHY JAMISON.

YOU'RE CATHY JAMISON?

- I AM.

- UH, YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT NEXT WEDNESDAY

AT 9:00 A.M.

I WAS JUST CALLING TO CONFIRM YOU.

- SOMEBODY CANCELED?

- DR. SHERMAN CALLED IT IN HIMSELF.

APPARENTLY, YOUR ONCOLOGIST, DR. MAUER,

CALLED HIM ABOUT YOU.

- OKAY.

UM, OKAY, GREAT.

YOU MAY CONFIRM ME.

- HEY, THOMAS. DINNERTIME, BUDDY.

YOU HUNGRY?

REAL FOOD THIS TIME.

NO FUNNY BUSINESS, I PROMISE.

THOMAS?

THOMAS?

OH, BUDDY.

OH, GOD.

- HI.

I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE.

- I GOT IT. - YEAH, I WAS NEARBY--

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LIP?

- UH, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

- LIKE MY BLOOD IS CARBONATED.

I JUST-- I WANTED TO THANK YOU

FOR CALLING DR. SHERMAN FOR ME.

- OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

- NO, THAT WAS REALLY IMPORTANT.

AND I WAS THINKING...

NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS, I TRUST YOU.

AND I LIKE YOU.

AND I WANT TO KEEP SEEING YOU,

EVEN IF I HAVE TO PAY OUT OF POCKET.

- I-I CAN'T SEE YOU AS A PATIENT, CATHY.

BECAUSE I DON'T SEE YOU AS A PATIENT.

BUT YOU'RE IN VERY GOOD HANDS NOW.

AND I'LL BE ROOTING FOR YOU.

- OH.

OH, OK--OKAY.

IS THIS GOODBYE, THEN?

- NO. PROFESSOR OF MINE IN MED SCHOOL TOLD ME

TO NEVER SAY GOOD-BYE TO A PATIENT.

- YOU JUST SAID I WASN'T YOUR PATIENT.

- I'LL SEE YOU LATER, CATHY.

- I'M DISOWNING YOU AS MY SISTER!

FROM NOW ON, WE'RE JUST NEIGHBORS.

AND GOOD FENCES MAKE GREAT FUCKING NEIGHBORS.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK OF UNCLE SEAN'S NEW FENCE?

- NOTHING AT ALL. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- BRENT'S. DAD SAID I COULD GO.

IS THAT OKAY?

I MEAN, YOU CAN HUG ME FIRST IF YOU NEED TO.

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO THERAPY ANYMORE.

I WANT YOU TO JUST BE NORMAL TOO.

BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW,

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS TRULY NORMAL.

- ♪ I'VE BEEN WORKIN' ON THE FE-ENCE ♪

♪ ALL THE LIVE-LONG DAY ♪

- EVERYBODY'S GOT SOMETHING.

IF YOU EVER WANNA TALK ABOUT WHAT YOUR SOMETHING IS

TO ME OR TO SOMEONE ELSE,

I HOPE YOU DO.

PLEASE DO.

- I WILL. I PROMISE.

- [flatulence] - OH!

- [flatulence continues]

- OH, MOM, THAT'S GROSS!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

OH, YOU-- YOU NEED TO SEE A SHRINK.

- LOVE YOU.

[chuckles]

[door closes]

- HEY, THERE. WANNA GET HIGH?

- NOPE.

MY HEADACHE IS GONE.

AND I GOT AN APPOINTMENT WITH DR. SHERMAN.

[giggling]

- THAT IS GREAT NEWS!

OH, THAT IS GREAT NEWS.

OH!

HOPEFULLY IT'LL TAKE SOME OF THE STING

OUT OF THE NOT-SO-GREAT NEWS.

- WHAT?

- [sighs]

- WHAT?

- THOMAS...

PASSED.

I JUST FOUND HIM OUT ON THE PORCH.

HE WAS SLEEPING PEACEFULLY, AND I--

I PUT A BLANKET OVER HIM, AND--

- I KILLED MARLENE'S DOG?

- I HONESTLY DON'T THINK

THAT IT WAS ANYTHING YOU DID.

IT WAS HIS TIME. HE WAS OLD.

- OH, MY GOD.

- HE'S WITH MARLENE NOW,

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHERE HE WANTED TO BE.

- DO YOU REALLY THINK HE'S WITH MARLENE?

- I'M SO SORRY.

NOPE.

HE'S WITH US!

[laughing] HEY, THOMAS.

WELCOME BACK!

- OH, THOMAS. - HEY, BUDDY!

- THOMAS, COME HERE.

OKAY, IF YOU EVER THINK I'M DEAD,

DO ME A FAVOR AND GET A SECOND OPINION.

OH, MY SWEET.

- WHEW.

Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com

GOOD BOY.