All language subtitles for The Big C S01E04 Playing The Cancer Car 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-Kitsune_track4_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:02,769    - PREVIOUSLY ON  THE BIG C...      2 00:00:02,802 --> 00:00:04,204     YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR DAD.     - DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE GONNA     3 00:00:04,237 --> 00:00:05,638      KICK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE,   THEN, TOO?  4 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:06,806  - CALL ME WHEN YOU GIVE   A SHIT AGAIN.  5 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,074      - TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,  6 00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:09,809  I HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE   ABOUT BEING SICK.  7 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,412  - WHAT KIND OF CANCER   DO YOU HAVE?  8 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,256  [Leftover Cuties'   Game Called Life]  9 00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:25,291  - ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪  10 00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:30,230     ♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪  11 00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,032  ♪ ♪  12 00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:37,070  ♪ STEP OUT   OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪  13 00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:40,874  ♪ ♪  14 00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:44,477  ♪ IS THIS SOME KIND   OF A JOKE? ♪  15 00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:49,315  ♪ WILL SOMEONE   WAKE ME UP SOON ♪  16 00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:52,919  ♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS   JUST A GAME ♪  17 00:00:52,952 --> 00:00:54,687  ♪ WE PLAYED ♪  18 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:59,592  ♪ CALLED LIFE? ♪  19 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:06,332  - I'M SORRY.   I DON'T UNDERSTAND.  20 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:08,034     - THE MONEY THAT I'VE BEEN   DEPOSITING EVERY WEEK  21 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:11,271  FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS   INTO MY 401(k),  22 00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:13,173      I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE IT.  23 00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:15,875    - BY CASHING OUT YOUR ACCOUNT      BEFORE RETIREMENT,  24 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,144  YOU'LL BE FORFEITING   NEARLY HALF YOUR MONEY.  25 00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:20,413     IT'S JUST NOT RECOMMENDED.  26 00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:22,849    - AND WHAT IS RETIREMENT AGE?      - 65.  27 00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,952  - YEAH, I'M GONNA NEED   THAT MONEY.  28 00:01:25,985 --> 00:01:28,054      I WAS WATCHING SUZE ORMAN   THIS MORNING.  29 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,690  SHE WAS PREACHING      THAT SAME OLD TIRED MANTRA,      30 00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:32,158  SAVE FOR A RAINY DAY.  31 00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:33,860  AND I REALIZED   IT COULD RAIN ANY DAY,  32 00:01:33,893 --> 00:01:36,329  SO I DECIDED   TO COME DOWN HERE,  33 00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:39,732  GET MY MONEY,   AND JUST SPEND IT.  34 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,168  - JUST SPEND IT?   ON WHAT?  35 00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:44,471  - I DON'T KNOW.  36 00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:48,508  ALSO, A LITTLE NONE   OF YOUR BUSINESS.  37 00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:49,943  - YOU'RE SURE   THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT?  38 00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:53,580    - OH, NO, THERE'S VERY LITTLE      I'M SURE OF ANYMORE.  39 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:54,948  SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?  40 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,449  SHALL WE DO THIS?  41 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,265  - OKAY, WE'LL START   THE PAPERWORK  42 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:14,734  AND HAVE THE MONEY IN     YOUR ACCOUNT WITHIN THE HOUR.     43 00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:16,269  - [muffled]      OH, GREAT, ALAN, THANK YOU.      44 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,475  - THERE'S SOMETHING   WRONG WITH YOU.  45 00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,978  - YES, I KNOW.  46 00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:27,514  THAT'S WHY   I'M DOING THIS.  47 00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:30,049  [whistle blows]  48 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:32,819  [indistinct shouting]  49 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:36,990  HEY, SWEETIE,   YOU READY TO GO?  50 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:37,991  - ONE SEC.  51 00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:39,492    - HOW WAS THE JOB INTERVIEW?      52 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,928    - I DECIDED NOT TO GO TODAY.      53 00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:43,429      - ADAM, IT'S--IT'S CALLED   A SUMMER JOB  54 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:44,764  BECAUSE IT'S SUMMER.  55 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,432     - I DON'T WANT TO HAND OUT      YOGURT SAMPLES IN THE MALL  56 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,635  FOR MINIMUM WAGE.   - OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.  57 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:52,205    YOU REALLY SHOULD BE FOCUSING      ON MIDDLE MANAGEMENT.  58 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:53,873  WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?  59 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,808  - DAD GOT IT FOR ME.  60 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,277  - BALL! BALL! BALL!  61 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,679  - DUCK, DUCK, DUCK!   - GET IT OUT!  62 00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:01,981      - WHAT IS YOUR DAD DOING?  63 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,516  - UH, PLAYING RUGBY.  64 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,685      AND, NO, HE DOES NOT KNOW   HE LOOKS RIDICULOUS.  65 00:03:05,718 --> 00:03:07,187      - ALL RIGHT, YOU ARE NOT   GONNA SIT AROUND  66 00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:08,922  AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES   ALL SUMMER.  67 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:12,158      JUST GO WAIT IN THE CAR.  68 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,594      PAUL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  69 00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:16,162     YOU'RE GONNA KILL YOURSELF.      70 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,932      - .7 SECONDS--IT'S A NEW   UNSUPPORTIVE RECORD!  71 00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:19,966  - RUGBY?  72 00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:21,534  WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?  73 00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,503  - BECAUSE IT'S FUN,   AND I WANT TO.  74 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:26,206     - YOU'RE A 45-YEAR-OLD MAN       WHO BRUISES LIKE A PEACH.  75 00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:27,941  YOU WEAR A KNEE BRACE   UNDER YOUR DOCKERS.  76 00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:31,110  - CAN'T KICK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE   AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO.  77 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,546  SO FIGURE IT OUT, CATH.   - ALL RIGHT, AND THIS?  78 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,348     IF ADAM WANTS A VIDEO GAME,      79 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,817  HE CAN GET A JOB   AND BUY IT HIMSELF.  80 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,519  OR HE COULD WAIT   UNTIL HE'S 65  81 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,020      AND DO WHATEVER HE WANTS   WITH HIS MONEY.  82 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,556  BUT YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED       TO BE THE POPULAR PARENT.  83 00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:47,227  - LOOK, I GOT MY SON,     WHO I MISS, A PRESENT, OKAY?      84 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:49,495  I'M SORRY IF I MISSED      THE ACCEPTABLE-GIFT CHAPTER      85 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:50,763  IN THE BANNED-PARENT HANDBOOK.     86 00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,265  [whistle blows]  87 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,300  - OH, MY GOD.  88 00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:55,868  IS THAT RUGBY SLUT?  89 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,471  - [whispering]   I THINK SHE PREFERS "TINA" NOW.    90 00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:00,607  - SHE DATED--AND I USE   THAT TERM LOOSELY--  91 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:04,043  THE ENTIRE RUGBY TEAM,   LIKE, 20 YEARS AGO.  92 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,679  AND HERE SHE IS,   STILL AT IT...  93 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,815  CAMEL TOE AND ALL?  94 00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:09,949  - SHE'S A FAN, CATH.  95 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,551  IT'S NOT A CRIME   TO LIKE SOMETHING.  96 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,420  YOU SHOULD   TRY IT SOMETIME.  97 00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:17,690  - CATHY JAMISON.  98 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,759      OH, I KNEW THAT WAS YOU.  99 00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:21,394  IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.  100 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,263      WOW, YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED   A BIT.  101 00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,632      I WISH I COULD JUST FIND  102 00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:30,069      THAT ONE LOOK THAT WORKED   FOR ME AND JUST STICK WITH IT.     103 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,639  - I SEE YOU'RE STILL SUPPORTING     THE RUGBY TEAM.  104 00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:34,440  - OH, YEAH,   WHAT CAN I SAY?  105 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:36,175  I LOVE IT!  106 00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:39,112    AND IT'S GREAT TO SEE PAULIE       BACK AT IT.  107 00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:40,947  - PAULIE?   - MM-HMM.  108 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:43,983  - OH, RIGHT.   PAUL.  109 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:47,153  PAULIE.   [chuckles]  110 00:04:47,186 --> 00:04:49,789  [car horn honking]  111 00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:51,658      - MOM, COME ON, LET'S GO!   COME ON!  112 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:54,027  - HEY, HOW DO YOU LIKE   YOUR CAR?  113 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,528  'CAUSE I WAS LOOKING   AT ONE OF THOSE,  114 00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:59,065  BUT THEN MY SISTER   SAID IT'S A MOM CAR.  115 00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,366  [whistle blows]  116 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:04,003  BUT, OF COURSE,   YOU'RE A MOM, SO...  117 00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,006  - IT WAS REALLY GOOD   TO SEE YOU, TINA.  118 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,608  - HEY, YOU TOO.  119 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:16,115  - YOU'RE CRAZY.  120 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,550  - AM I?  121 00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:20,253  I'M DYING, MARLENE.  122 00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:22,989  401(k)s ARE FOR PEOPLE WHO GET      TO SPEND THEIR RETIREMENT MONEY    123 00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:24,524  ON ALASKAN CRUISES  124 00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:26,492  AND TAKING RVs   ACROSS THE COUNTRY.  125 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:28,928  WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME?   WHAT DO I GET?  126 00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:33,166  - A HANGOVER FROM THIS   FOO-FOO BUBBLY DRINK.  127 00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:36,903    - HEY, THIS IS A $450 BOTTLE       OF CHAMPAGNE.  128 00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:38,104  IT'S THE BEST THERE IS.  129 00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:39,172  I ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW  130 00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:40,973      WHAT EXPENSIVE CHAMPAGNE   TASTED LIKE.  131 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,909  NOW I DO.  132 00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:44,711  - I NEVER SAW THE POINT      IN SPENDING MONEY ON STUFF  133 00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:45,812  THAT DIDN'T LAST.  134 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,613  MY HUSBAND, EDDIE,   HAD A HARD-ON  135 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:48,948  FOR TROPICAL FISH.  136 00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:51,784  HAD A BIG OLD TANK       AND SPENT DAMN GOOD MONEY  137 00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:53,820  FILLING IT   WITH GOOFY-LOOKING FISH  138 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,922  WITH FANCY NAMES.  139 00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:58,324  STUPID THINGS DIED ABOUT AS FAST   AS HE COULD GET THEM IN THERE.     140 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,960    - WELL, GOOD FOR HIM, I SAY.      141 00:06:00,993 --> 00:06:03,363  - HE'D SIT IN FRONT      OF THAT TANK AND JUST SMILE      142 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,098  LIKE SOME RETARDED KID.  143 00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:06,432  - DON'T SAY "RETARDED."  144 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,134  COME ON, MARLENE.  145 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:10,837     ISN'T THERE ANYTHING YOU'VE       EVER WANTED TO BUY FOR YOURSELF    146 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,338  JUST BECAUSE?  147 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,273  - NEVER MUCH THOUGHT ABOUT IT,      I GUESS.  148 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,775  - WELL, YOU SHOULD.  149 00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:17,076     AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S IRONIC?      150 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,812  HERE I'VE BEEN      THIS COUPON-CUTTING SAVER,  151 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,948  AND YET I'VE RAISED   A LAZY SON  152 00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:23,649  WHO'S NEVER EVEN HAD   A SUMMER JOB.  153 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:27,387     - SOMETIMES KIDS JUST NEED      A SWIFT KICK IN THE PANTS.  154 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:30,022  - WELL, I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME     FOR KICKS IN THE PANTS.  155 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,558      AND WHAT TIME WE DO HAVE,   I'D RATHER NOT SPEND SCREAMING     156 00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:35,528  AND SLAMMING DOORS   IN EACH OTHER'S FACES.  157 00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:40,199      - WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?  158 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,436  - GAH!   IT'S MY RV!  159 00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,609  [breathes deeply]  160 00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:52,912  [horn honks]  161 00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:53,913  SEAN!  162 00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,582  SEAN, WHAT ARE   YOU DOING HERE?  163 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,851     - RECYCLING YOUR RECYCLING.      164 00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:01,387  UM, BY THE WAY,   THIS KIND OF PLASTIC  165 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,357  DOESN'T BREAK DOWN--   I'M SORRY.  166 00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:07,660      THINGS DON'T GET RECYCLED   'CAUSE YOU FEEL GUILTY  167 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,495     THROWING THEM IN THE TRASH.      168 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,898  OH, MY SWEET SATAN.  169 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,133  IS THIS WEAPON YOURS?  170 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,635      - YEAH, I JUST BOUGHT IT.  171 00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:19,172  JUST WALKED ONTO A LOT   AND BOUGHT IT.  172 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:22,074     I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING...          - HOW YOU DOING, GAS WHORE?      173 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,410  - IMPULSIVE.   DO YOU UNDERSTAND--  174 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,746  - YOU FEELING GOOD      ABOUT YOURSELF, GAS WHORE?  175 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,248      - THIS IS THE FIRST MAJOR       PURCHASE THAT I HAVE MADE  176 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,818  WITHOUT CONSULTING   CONSUMER REPORTS  177 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:33,286     FOR THREE MONTHS BEFOREHAND      178 00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:35,354  AND THEN AGONIZING   THAT I'D MADE A MISTAKE  179 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,123    FOR THREE MONTHS AFTERWARDS.      180 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:40,593  WAIT A MINUTE.  181 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:44,063  WHY ARE YOU HERE,   IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD?  182 00:07:44,096 --> 00:07:46,599  YOU'VE NEVER RECYCLED   MY RECYCLABLES.  183 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,434  DID YOU COME HERE   TO SEE ME?  184 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,903  ARE YOU IN NEED   OF A SIS FIX?  185 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,705      - OH, SO I CAME TO VISIT   MY SISTER,  186 00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:53,706  SO FUCKING SUE ME.  187 00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:54,774  - OH, RELAX.  188 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:55,975  YOU KNOW I ALWAYS LOVE   TO SEE--  189 00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:57,143  - OW!   OH, GOD.  190 00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:58,444  - WHAT?   WHAT'S WRONG?  191 00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,779  - OH, MY TOOTH'S   SCREWED UP.  192 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,447  - THAT'S NOT GOOD.  193 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,149  GO TO MY DENTIST.   I'LL PAY FOR IT.  194 00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:04,650  - NO, THANK YOU.  195 00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,486  - SERIOUSLY, SEAN,   IT COULD BE INFECTED.  196 00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:07,720  - OH, IT'S DEFINITELY   INFECTED.  197 00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:10,156  YOU SHOULD SMELL   WHAT I TASTE.  198 00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:11,390  - SEXY.  199 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,559      I'M SURE DAPHNE WANTS YOU   TO SEE A DENTIST.  200 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,294  - SHE DOESN'T CARE.   WE BROKE UP.  201 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,663  SHE GOT ALL WEEPY ON ME      AND WANTED TO BE EXCLUSIVE.      202 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,198  BUT IT'S COOL.   IT'S COOL.  203 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,833  GOT A COUPLE OTHER FISH   ON THE LINE,  204 00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,869  I'M JUST NOT READY   TO THROW BACK.  205 00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:25,805  - JUST GO   TO THE DENTIST, SEAN.  206 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,006  - NO!  207 00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:28,908  I'M NOT GONNA SUDDENLY   BUY INTO THE SYSTEM  208 00:08:28,941 --> 00:08:31,177      BECAUSE I'M EXPERIENCING   SOME MINOR DISCOMFORT.  209 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:33,346     WHEN THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT   WHO HAS TO CHOOSE  210 00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:35,815    BETWEEN A TRIP TO THE DOCTOR         AND FEEDING HER KIDS CAN GO,      211 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:36,983  I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.  212 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,384  - STILL SCARED   OF THE DENTIST, HUH?  213 00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:40,586      - I'M NOT SCARED, CATHY.  214 00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,822    I'M RIGHTEOUS AND INDIGNANT.      215 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,924      - FINE, WHATEVER YOU NEED   TO TELL YOURSELF.  216 00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:46,158  [laughs]  217 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,394  NOW, JUST STEP AWAY   FROM THE CAR.  218 00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:51,531  YOU LET ME ENJOY   MY FRIVOLOUS PURCHASE.  219 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,499      - I DIDN'T KNOW YOU KNEW   HOW TO DRIVE A STICK.  220 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,768  - STICK?  221 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:57,403  SHIT.  222 00:08:57,436 --> 00:08:59,205  - HA HA.  223 00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:01,507     [engine revs, gears grind]  224 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,376  [tires squeal,   horns honking]  225 00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:06,078  [engine sputtering]   - LEARN TO DRIVE!  226 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:09,248      [horns continue honking]  227 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,561  - HMM, SO WHAT,     WE'RE TAKING OUR APPOINTMENTS     228 00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,362    AT CAP'N RED'S LOBSTER GRILL       NOW, HUH?  229 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,363  - I'M SORRY.  230 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,831  I HAVE A NEW CAR,  231 00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,967  AND THIS PARKING LOT      IS A LOT EASIER TO PARK IN  232 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,237  THAN YOUR STRUCTURE--       AND CHEAPER, I MIGHT ADD.  233 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:33,339  HMM.  234 00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:35,074  LET'S GET YOU A DRINK.  235 00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:38,644  THE HOUSE CHARDONNAY--   IT'S A LITTLE STALE BUT FRUITY,    236 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,947  IF YOU'RE INTO FRUITY.  237 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:43,115  - I CAN'T. I HAVE APPOINTMENTS      THIS AFTERNOON.  238 00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,184      UH, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?  239 00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:47,553  ANY PAIN?   NORMAL APPETITE?  240 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,988  - STARVING.  241 00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:51,324  - I BROUGHT YOUR LATEST   BLOOD RESULTS.  242 00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:52,558    EVERYTHING LOOKS STABLE, SO--     243 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,828  - YOU ARE PUTTING ME   OFF MY LUNCH.  244 00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:57,463  YOU GONNA WHIP OUT   YOUR STETHOSCOPE  245 00:09:57,496 --> 00:09:59,298     AND LISTEN TO MY HEART TOO?      246 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,434  - I WAS GONNA,   BUT WE CAN SKIP IT.  247 00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:04,904     - CAN'T WE BE A LITTLE LESS       DOCTOR/PATIENT  248 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,739  AND A LITTLE MORE,  249 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,741  "DID YOU SEE   OUR SERVER'S BANGS?"  250 00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,277  I MEAN, COME ON,       GIVE ME SOMETHING JUICY.  251 00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:13,145  DID YOU TELL ANYONE   THEY WERE DYING TODAY?  252 00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:14,647  DID THEY CRY?  253 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,616  - THAT'S A LITTLE DARK,   DON'T YOU THINK?  254 00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,084  - SORRY.  255 00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,419  OTHER PEOPLE'S BAD NEWS   MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.  256 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:24,757      IT'S CALLED SCHADENFRE--   [laughing]  257 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,660  SCHADENFREUDE.  258 00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:30,663    I WOULD NEVER KNOW THAT WORD         IF IT DIDN'T TOTALLY FUCK ME      259 00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:33,299    ON THE CROSSWORDS LAST WEEK.      260 00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,568  OH, THAT'S SO SAD.  261 00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:39,238    THAT POOR LOBSTER CAN HARDLY           TURN AROUND IN THAT TANK.  262 00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:40,806  - GIVEN THAT   HIS NEXT DESTINATION  263 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,775     IS A BOILING POT OF WATER,   I'D SAY HE'S GOT IT PRETTY GOOD.  264 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,844    - NO, BUT SERIOUSLY, ONE DAY,      YOU'RE CRAWLING AROUND  265 00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:47,480      THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN,       TAKING LIFE FOR GRANTED.  266 00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:49,281  THE NEXT DAY   YOU WALK INTO A TRAP,  267 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,251  AND YOU FIND YOURSELF   IN A TINY GLASS PRISON  268 00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:53,486  WAITING TO DIE.  269 00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:56,589      WHAT KIND OF CRAPPY LUCK   IS THAT?  270 00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,057  EXCUSE ME!   - YEAH?  271 00:10:58,090 --> 00:11:00,626    - HOW MUCH IS THE BIG LOBSTER      IN THE TANK.  272 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,795  AND BEFORE   YOU SAY ANYTHING,  273 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,531    I WILL GIVE YOU $200 FOR HIM,     274 00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:07,299  BUT I NEED HIM LIVE.  275 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,701  - I'M SORRY,   BUT I'M NOT ALLOWED  276 00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:10,069     TO SELL THE LOBSTERS LIVE.  277 00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:11,404  - $300.  278 00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,439     - I'M SORRY, BUT I CAN'T--  279 00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:14,507  - SHE'S JOKING.  280 00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:15,941     YOU--YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?  281 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:17,510  - NOT SO MUCH.  282 00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:19,145     IF I CAN'T HAVE MY LOBSTER,      283 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,480  THEN I WILL DRINK   TO FORGET HIM.  284 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,116    IF YOU KEEP THIS GLASS FULL,      285 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:26,819  I WILL GIVE YOU $50.  286 00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:27,853  - YES, MA'AM.  287 00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:31,123  - THIS IS TO GET   YOUR BANGS FIXED.  288 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,795    - JESUS, CATHY, WHAT ARE YOU           DOING WITH ALL THAT CASH?  289 00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:38,064  - I DON'T KNOW.  290 00:11:39,331 --> 00:11:41,567  BUT THE DAY IS YOUNG.  291 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,737  [sports anchor talking   on television]  292 00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:54,346  - UGH, DAMN IT.  293 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,992      - EVERYTHING THE SALESMAN   OFFERED, I BOUGHT.  294 00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:09,428    YOU KNOW, HEATED SEATS--SURE.     295 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:12,264     NAVIGATION SYSTEM--YOU BET.      296 00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,733  TURBO COMPRESSOR--  297 00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:15,601  I DON'T EVEN KNOW   WHAT THE HELL THAT IS,  298 00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:17,770  BUT WHY NOT?  299 00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:19,405  - HMM.  300 00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:20,773  - WHAT'S THE "HMM"?  301 00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:22,541  - I WAS JUST THINKING.  302 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:26,545     UM, IT'S COMMON FOR PEOPLE   WITH TERMINAL ILLNESS  303 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,114  TO DO IMPULSIVE THINGS.  304 00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:29,381    LIKE, I'VE HEARD OF PATIENTS      305 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,217  GOING GORILLA TREKKING   IN AFRICA  306 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,419      OR FLYING ON A SUBORBITAL   SPACE FLIGHT  307 00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,054      OR RUNNING WITH THE BULLS   IN PAMPLONA.  308 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:36,355  - JESUS.  309 00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:38,224  DYING PEOPLE   HAVE GREAT IDEAS.  310 00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:41,260      - PLEASE DON'T GO RUNNING   WITH THE BULLS.  311 00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:43,129  ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW,     START WITH SOMETHING SMALLER,     312 00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:44,830  LIKE CHICKENS.  313 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:46,465  - [chuckles]  314 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:49,068  YOU'RE FUNNY.  315 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:52,171  - SO WHY A CONVERTIBLE?  316 00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:53,439  - AMANDA MONTGOMERY.  317 00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:54,573  - WHO?  318 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,674     - THIS GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL.      319 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:58,410  SHE WAS ONE OF THOSE   PERFECT GIRLS.  320 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:01,814  SHE DROVE       A CHERRY-RED CONVERTIBLE.  321 00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,549    EVERY MORNING WHEN SHE'D PULL      INTO THE PARKING LOT,  322 00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:06,585      WEARING THESE IMPOSSIBLY   HARD TO WALK IN CLOGS,  323 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:10,156  EVERYTHING ABOUT HER   SEEMED EFFORTLESS.  324 00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:11,624     SHE HAD LIFE BY THE BALLS,   YOU KNOW?  325 00:13:11,657 --> 00:13:13,526     SHE KNEW SHE WAS GONNA GET   WHATEVER SHE WANTED.  326 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:16,495  AND I BOUGHT THAT CAR   'CAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW  327 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:20,466  WHAT IT WOULD FEEL LIKE   TO BE HER,  328 00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:22,501  TO KNOW THAT ANYTHING   WAS POSSIBLE.  329 00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:23,869  I WANT MORE PIE.  330 00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:26,205  WHERE'S BANGY?  331 00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,774  - OH, SHIT,     I'M LATE FOR AN APPOINTMENT.      332 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:29,975      - WELL, YOU'RE A DOCTOR.  333 00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:31,544  AREN'T YOU ALWAYS LATE   FOR APPOINTMENTS?  334 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:32,978  - NO, I'M MEETING   A REALTOR.  335 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,513    - YOU'RE GOING HOUSE HUNTING?     336 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,248  - YEAH.  337 00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:37,917  - I LOVE HOUSE HUNTING.  338 00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:40,052  I MEAN, IT'S SO--   IT'S SO VOYEURISTIC.  339 00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:41,587  TAKE ME WITH YOU.   - I DON'T--  340 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,022    - LOOK, I WILL PAY YOU $800.      341 00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:44,790  - ALL RIGHT,   STOP DOING THAT.  342 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,893  - SO YOU'LL TAKE ME   FOR FREE?  343 00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:50,563  - YES.   - YEAH!  344 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:52,231  - BUT JUST MOSTLY     SO I CAN KEEP AN EYE ON YOU.      345 00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:54,200  - WELL, THEN HERE,   YOU DRIVE MY NEW CAR.  346 00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,068  JUST PULL IT AROUND   WHILE I PEE.  347 00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:59,805  LAST CHANCE   FOR A URINE SAMPLE.  348 00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:08,380  - WHAT? ARE YOU--   CATHY!  349 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:09,582  - JUST GO!  350 00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,650  GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!  351 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,319  [tires squeal]  352 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,488  - HEY, GET BACK HERE!  353 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,456  [sighs]  354 00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:21,193  - [yelling]  355 00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:22,795  DUDE, THIS IS SO COOL.  356 00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:24,129  I READ ONLINE   ABOUT THIS LADY  357 00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:25,631      WHO HAD AN INFECTED TOOTH   AND A HANDGUN,  358 00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:28,167  AND SHE SHOT IT OUT.   - YOU WANT COOL?  359 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,935  I ONCE SAW A GUY   AMPING ON METH  360 00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:31,370  CUT OFF HIS TOES  361 00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:33,172  'CAUSE HE THOUGHT      THEY WERE EATING HIS FEET.  362 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,341  - OH, DUDE.   - YEAH.  363 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,642  OH, P.S., BUDDY,   DON'T DO DRUGS.  364 00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:38,377  GO EASY      WITH THOSE PLIERS, THOUGH.  365 00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,079  I DON'T WANT YOU   FUCKING UP MY ENAMEL.  366 00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:41,580  - SERIOUSLY?   - YEAH.  367 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:44,783  THIS SMILE GETS ME   A LOT OF TAIL.  368 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,051      - SINCE MY MOM TOOK AWAY   MY VIDEO GAME,  369 00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:47,786  THIS IS THE MOST FUN   I'VE HAD ALL DAY.  370 00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:50,256  - ALL RIGHT, FOCUS.  371 00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:53,025  - SORRY.  372 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,026  - AAH!  373 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:55,461  [grumbling]  374 00:14:55,494 --> 00:14:57,429      MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER!   - I'M SORRY.  375 00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,365  - OHH!   - CALM DOWN, PLEASE.  376 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,366  PLEASE, IT'S OKAY.  377 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,468  - SON OF A CUNT!   FUCKING ASS-LICKER!  378 00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,503  YOU JUST MADE IT   FUCKING WORSE.  379 00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:07,506      OH, I BEGGED YOUR PARENTS     NOT TO HAVE YOU CIRCUMCISED.      380 00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:10,209  NOW I WISH   I'D DONE IT MYSELF.  381 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:13,345  OH, GOD DAMN!  382 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:20,719    - JESUS, CAN SCARLETT O'HARA       COME OUT AND PLAY?  383 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,221  - ALL RIGHT,   IT'S A LITTLE BIG,  384 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,823  BUT I'M NOT GONNA BE   SINGLE FOREVER.  385 00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:27,059  AND BY MY PROJECTIONS,     I'M HOPING TO DOUBLE THE SIZE     386 00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,527  OF MY PRACTICE   IN THE NEXT TEN YEARS.  387 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:33,198  - AH, THE HOUSE   THAT CANCER BUILT.  388 00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:34,967  YOUR OWN LITTLE   MELA-HOMA.  389 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,502  - THAT'S TERRIBLE.  390 00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:38,203  - THANK YOU.  391 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:41,373  - AH, DR. MAUER,   IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.  392 00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:43,042      OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CAR.  393 00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:44,343  - THAT'S MINE.  394 00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:46,578  IT'S--IT'S NEW.  395 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,781  IT'S, UH...  396 00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:52,251  IT'S A CONVERTIBLE,   OBVIOUSLY.  397 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:54,353  - VIVIAN, THIS IS--   - AMANDA.  398 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:55,721  AMANDA MONTGOMERY.  399 00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:57,823     - NICE TO MEET YOU, AMANDA.       THIS IS GREAT.  400 00:15:57,856 --> 00:15:59,258  IT'S ALWAYS BETTER   WHEN A COUPLE  401 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,592     CAN TOUR A HOUSE TOGETHER.  402 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,127  - OH, NO, WE'RE NOT--   - CRAZY ABOUT THE LAWN.  403 00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:05,998      BUT WE HAVE A LANDSCAPER   WHO CAN WORK MIRACLES.  404 00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:07,466  - SHALL WE?  405 00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:13,439  - I'M A YOUNG DOCTOR'S   GIRLFRIEND.  406 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:16,008  - THE HOUSE DATES BACK      TO THE TURN OF THE CENTURY.      407 00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:18,811     IT WAS COMPLETELY REMODELED       IN 2009--  408 00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:21,313  4,200 SQUARE FEET,  409 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,215  FIVE BEDROOMS,  410 00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:25,617  AND NOT THAT IT'S   ANY OF MY BUSINESS,  411 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,587  BUT I HOPE YOU TWO       ARE PLANNING ON CHILDREN.  412 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:32,358     - OH, I THINK WE COULD HAVE       SOME KIDS.  413 00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:34,126  - THERE'S A GAME ROOM   IN THE BASEMENT,  414 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,361  A WINE CELLAR.  415 00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:37,563  AND, AMANDA, THERE IS   CLOSET SPACE GALORE.  416 00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:39,665  - OH, LORD KNOWS   I NEED IT.  417 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,633     TODD IS ALWAYS SAYING TO ME      418 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,969      MY CLOSETS NEED CLOSETS.  419 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,904      - SHE LOVES HER CLOTHES.  420 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:47,740  - WAIT TILL YOU SEE   THE BACKYARD.  421 00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:49,742     THERE IS THE MOST GORGEOUS   SALTWATER POOL--  422 00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:51,410  SIMPLY STUNNING.  423 00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:53,145  THE DINING ROOM.  424 00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,546  - HMM.  425 00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:57,149  - WHAT SORT OF MEDICINE      DO YOU PRACTICE, DR. MAUER?      426 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,617  - HE'S AN ONCOLOGIST.  427 00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:01,887  SUMMA CUM LAUDE,   UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN.  428 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,188  HMM.  429 00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,557  I SAW YOUR DIPLOMA   IN YOUR OFFICE.  430 00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:07,993  I ALSO SAW THAT PICTURE OF YOU        AND YOUR FRATERNITY BROTHERS.     431 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:11,063  [whispering]   IT'S A LITTLE GAY MEN'S CHORUS.    432 00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:13,198  - DO YOU WORK, AMANDA?   - I USED TO.  433 00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:15,934  BUT TODD'S INCOME       ALLOWS ME THE OPPORTUNITY  434 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,604  TO REALLY FOCUS   ON MY CHARITY WORK.  435 00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:21,673     - OH, WHAT KIND OF CHARITY   DO YOU DO?  436 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,308  - I HAVE A FOUNDATION  437 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:26,745  THAT RAISES MONEY      TO BUILD SCHOOLS IN AFRICA  438 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:28,313  FOR YOUNG WOMEN.  439 00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:30,649  - OH, HOW WONDERFUL.   - IT IS.  440 00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:32,151  - YOU'RE GONNA LOVE   THE KITCHEN.  441 00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:34,620    DO YOU LIKE TO COOK, AMANDA?       - OH, SHE LOVES IT.  442 00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,789      YOU KNOW, AMANDA ACTUALLY   SPENT SOME TIME  443 00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:37,956  AT LE CORDON BLEU.  444 00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,159  - [gasps]  445 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,896  - NICE.   - MM-HMM.  446 00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:45,030  - VIKING APPLIANCES,  447 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,099  GRANITE COUNTERTOPS,  448 00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,068      HARDWOOD CHERRY CABINETS  449 00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,570  WITH MAHOGANY FINISH.  450 00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:54,073  - IT'S BEAUTIFUL.  451 00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:56,275  IMAGINE THE MEALS  452 00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:59,344  THAT I COULD COOK      FOR YOU IN HERE, TODD, HMM?      453 00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:03,115  BAKING, BOILING,   STEAMING, POACHING--  454 00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:06,685  EVERYTHING HOT   I KNOW YOU LIKE.  455 00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:10,155  - UM...   [clears throat]  456 00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,790      THERE'S A WALK-IN PANTRY   IN HERE  457 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:14,259     I THINK YOU'D LIKE TO SEE.  458 00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:15,594  JUST, UH...  459 00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:18,263  - [laughs]   - REALLY?  460 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:20,299  YEAH, THANK YOU.  461 00:18:20,332 --> 00:18:23,836  - OH, LOOK AT THAT.  462 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,405    ISN'T THAT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL      THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN?  463 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,674  THAT'S A POOL   YOU CAN FLOAT IN.  464 00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:30,776  WHEN I WAS A KID,   I WOULD LIE ON MY BACK  465 00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:34,413  FOR HOURS IN OUR POOL   JUST FLOATING...  466 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,749  JUST FEELING NOTHING   AND EVERYTHING.  467 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,085    IT'S LIKE YOU WERE WEIGHTLESS     468 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,187  AND TIME STANDS STILL.  469 00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,389  THAT WOULD BE NICE,   WOULDN'T IT,  470 00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:47,326      FOR TIME TO STAND STILL?  471 00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:54,299  - COME ON.   LET'S GO.  472 00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:58,570  - WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?  473 00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:00,372  - I'M LOOKING   FOR THIS BOY'S PARENTS.  474 00:19:00,405 --> 00:19:02,141  - THEY'RE OUT.   WHAT DID HE DO?  475 00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:03,442  - HE GOT CAUGHT TRYING   TO SHOPLIFT A VIDEO GAME SYSTEM    476 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,476  FROM WAL-MART.  477 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:05,544  IT'S HIS FIRST OFFENSE,  478 00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:06,578  SO THE STORE'S   NOT PRESSING CHARGES.  479 00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,480  NEXT TIME HE WON'T BE   SO LUCKY.  480 00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:11,316  - THANK YOU, OFFICER.   I'LL DEAL WITH HIM.  481 00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,185  - AND YOU ARE?  482 00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:14,253  - I'M HIS GRANDMA.  483 00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:15,320  - WAIT, WHAT, NO, SHE--  484 00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:16,922      - HEY, I'M AS EMBARRASSED   TO SAY IT  485 00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:18,690  AS YOU ARE TO HEAR IT.  486 00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:22,728  - WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE   YOU GOT THIS.  487 00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:25,330  - WHY'D YOU SAY   YOU WERE MY GRANDMA?  488 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:26,698  - I'M SAVING YOUR MOM   FROM HAVING TO PUT UP  489 00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,534  WITH HER      PAIN-IN-THE-ASS SON AGAIN.  490 00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,068     - WAIT, WAIT, SO YOU'RE NOT       GONNA TELL HER?  491 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,170  - THAT DEPENDS.   - ON WHAT?  492 00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:32,437  - ON HOW WELL   YOU CLEAN MY YARD.  493 00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,439  - WAIT, WHAT?       ARE YOU BLACKMAILING ME?  494 00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:35,541      - CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT,  495 00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,843    BUT I EXPECT YOU AT MY HOUSE       EVERY DAY,  496 00:19:37,876 --> 00:19:39,745     MOWING, TRIMMING, PAINTING.      497 00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:41,947      I'LL PAY YOU A FAIR WAGE,      YOU'LL STAY OUT OF TROUBLE,      498 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,883  AND MAYBE YOU CAN BUY   THAT VIDEO GAME  499 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:47,786      YOU THOUGHT WAS IMPORTANT   ENOUGH TO STEAL.  500 00:19:47,819 --> 00:19:49,354  - WHAT IF I SAY NO?  501 00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,523  - DON'T MAKE ME CALL   THE COPS BACK HERE  502 00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:54,259  AND TELL 'EM YOU PUSHED   AN OLD LADY.  503 00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:57,262  I'M ONTO YOUR CRAP.  504 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:26,858      - AND THIS, OF COURSE, IS   THE FABULOUS MASTER BEDROOM...     505 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:30,762  WITH ANOTHER   AMAZING VIEW OF THE--  506 00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:37,102  YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS IN THE POOL      WITH HER CLOTHES ON.  507 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,377  - YEAH, AMANDA'S   GOING THROUGH  508 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:48,780  A BIT OF A ROUGH TIME   RIGHT NOW.  509 00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:58,991  [whistle blows]   - WAY TO GO, PAULIE!  510 00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:00,325  OOH! OOH!  511 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,361      - YEAH, NICE ONE, PAULIE!  512 00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:04,463    YOU'RE A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG!      513 00:21:04,496 --> 00:21:06,265  - WHAT THE HELL   ARE YOU DOING HERE?  514 00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:08,467  WHAT, ARE WE PLAYING ON   AN ANCIENT INDIAN BURIAL GROUND?  515 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,570    IS MY JERSEY MADE BY TODDLERS      IN BOTSWANA?  516 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:13,872  ARE THERE ENDANGERED   TREE FROGS  517 00:21:13,905 --> 00:21:15,674  IN THE ASTROTURF,   YOU DICK?  518 00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:18,710    - LOOK, I'VE BEEN REPRESSING          A LOT OF ANGER TOWARDS YOU,      519 00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,112  AND IT'S GIVING ME   HEMORRHOIDS,  520 00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:21,313     SO I KIND OF NEED TO PURGE.      521 00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:23,448  NOW, IF AT ANY POINT  522 00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:25,217  YOU WANT TO HIT ME,   I GET IT.  523 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,418  WE BOTH NEED CATHARSIS.  524 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:28,787  - GO BACK       TO YOUR DUMPSTER, SEANIE.  525 00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:30,255  - HEY, FUCK YOU,   YOU 9:00-TO-5:00,  526 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,758      CORPORATE PIECE OF SHIT.  527 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:34,960  YOU FUCKING WASTE   OF OXYGEN!  528 00:21:34,993 --> 00:21:36,428  - YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW,  529 00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:37,896  NOW YOU'RE GETTING   A LITTLE OUT OF LINE.  530 00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:39,431  - OOH, YOU WANT ME   TO SHUT UP?  531 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,700  THEN HIT ME, PAULIE.     OH, BUT YOU WON'T, WILL YOU?      532 00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:44,069  BECAUSE YOU'RE   A FUCKING COWARD.  533 00:21:44,102 --> 00:21:45,904  YOU'RE MORE   THAN A COWARD, REALLY.  534 00:21:45,937 --> 00:21:47,572     YOU'RE A COMPLETE FAILURE.  535 00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:49,675    YOU FUCKED UP YOUR MARRIAGE,       YOUR LIFE.  536 00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:51,576  YOU TURNED MY VIBRANT,   QUIRKY SISTER  537 00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:54,513  INTO A MISERABLY DULL,   LIFELESS ZOMBIE.  538 00:21:54,546 --> 00:21:58,216     YOU'RE A HALF-ASS HUSBAND,      A POOR EXCUSE FOR A FATHER,      539 00:21:58,250 --> 00:21:59,618  A SHITTY--OH!  540 00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:01,620  [groaning]  541 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:02,621  OH, JEEZ.  542 00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,423  IT'S OUT.  543 00:22:04,456 --> 00:22:06,758  IT'S OUT!   HA HA!  544 00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:08,226  IT'S OUT!  545 00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:09,695      OH, JESUS, SWEET RELIEF!  546 00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:11,830    - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?      - I'VE HAD THIS INFECTED TOOTH.    547 00:22:11,863 --> 00:22:13,865  I'VE BEEN TRYING LIKE     A MOTHERFUCKER TO GET IT OUT,     548 00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:15,534  BUT THE UNIVERSE   WAS FIGHTING ME ON IT.  549 00:22:15,567 --> 00:22:17,836  BUT, YOU, YOU JUST   GOT IT FOR ME, BUDDY.  550 00:22:17,869 --> 00:22:19,905  THANKS!   - YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.  551 00:22:19,938 --> 00:22:21,206  - NO HARD FEELINGS.  552 00:22:21,239 --> 00:22:23,608  YOU SHOULD KNOW   I DIDN'T MEAN, UH,  553 00:22:23,642 --> 00:22:25,777  68% OF THE STUFF   I JUST SAID.  554 00:22:25,811 --> 00:22:28,747  YOU KNOW, I THINK   I SWALLOWED IT.  555 00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:30,415  WHEN IT PASSES,   I AM MAKING YOU  556 00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:32,984     AN AWESOME TOOTH NECKLACE.  557 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,420  PAULIE! PAULIE!  558 00:22:35,454 --> 00:22:37,489  both:   PAULIE! PAULIE!  559 00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,991  - PAULIE! PAULIE!  560 00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:41,927  - [spits]   - FREAK!  561 00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:50,769      - I'M SORRY IF I SCREWED   ANYTHING UP FOR YOU BACK THERE.    562 00:22:50,802 --> 00:22:52,304  I DON'T THINK VIVIAN   WAS VERY PLEASED  563 00:22:52,337 --> 00:22:53,805  THAT I WAS FLOATING   IN HER POOL.  564 00:22:53,839 --> 00:22:57,075  - OH, I'M SURE      SHE'S SEEN STRANGER THINGS.      565 00:22:57,109 --> 00:22:58,777  - YOU THINK?  566 00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:01,046  - NO.  567 00:23:01,079 --> 00:23:03,281      - YOU'RE LUCKY, YOU KNOW?  568 00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:07,486  I WISH I WAS LOOKING FOR HOUSES         AND STARTING A NEW LIFE.  569 00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:10,255  I'M SORRY.   THAT WAS MAUDLIN.  570 00:23:10,288 --> 00:23:13,558  I ALWAYS GET MAUDLIN     WHEN I'M COMING OFF A DRUNK.      571 00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:19,698  - I'M SORRY, CATHY.   - FOR WHAT?  572 00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:24,002  - I JUST...  573 00:23:24,035 --> 00:23:25,170  I FEEL BAD.  574 00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:26,371  - FOR ME?  575 00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,340  DON'T FEEL BAD FOR ME.  576 00:23:28,373 --> 00:23:30,142  I HAD A GREAT DAY.  577 00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:32,677  - I DON'T KNOW.   I JUST...  578 00:23:34,646 --> 00:23:37,716  I SHOULDN'T HAVE      MORE OF A FUTURE THAN YOU.  579 00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:39,017      - BUT I DO HAVE A FUTURE.  580 00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:40,685  HIS NAME'S ADAM.  581 00:23:40,719 --> 00:23:43,755  UNFORTUNATELY,      HE'S AN ASSHOLE RIGHT NOW.  582 00:23:43,789 --> 00:23:45,991  I'M BANKING ON IT   BEING A PHASE.  583 00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:47,492  I THINK IT'S A PHASE.  584 00:23:47,526 --> 00:23:51,229    PEOPLE CHANGE WHEN BIG THINGS      HAPPEN IN THEIR LIVES.  585 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:54,566  MAYBE HE'LL DECIDE   TO BECOME A DOCTOR.  586 00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:57,035  - THAT'D BE GOOD.  587 00:23:57,068 --> 00:23:59,037  I HOPE I GET   TO MEET HIM SOMEDAY.  588 00:23:59,070 --> 00:24:02,073  - I'LL INVITE YOU BOTH   TO THE FUNERAL.  589 00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:05,811  [chuckles]  590 00:24:05,844 --> 00:24:07,045  HERE.  591 00:24:07,078 --> 00:24:09,281  - THANK YOU.  592 00:24:09,314 --> 00:24:11,616  - YOU SHOULD BUY   THAT HOUSE, YOU KNOW?  593 00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:13,118  - YOU THINK?   - YEAH.  594 00:24:13,151 --> 00:24:14,519  FILL IT WITH KIDS   AND STUFF.  595 00:24:14,553 --> 00:24:18,256    - WELL, WE'LL SEE WHAT JULIE       THINKS ABOUT THAT.  596 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:21,526  - WHO'S JULIE?  597 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:22,894  - MY GIRLFRIEND.  598 00:24:22,928 --> 00:24:24,996  - HUH.  599 00:24:25,030 --> 00:24:26,731     HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME       YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND  600 00:24:26,765 --> 00:24:28,099     WHEN I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND?      601 00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:30,235  - UH...  602 00:24:32,604 --> 00:24:34,806  [chuckles]  603 00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:46,084  [engine turning]  604 00:24:46,117 --> 00:24:49,254  [engine revving]  605 00:24:51,456 --> 00:24:56,228  [gears grinding]  606 00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:59,197  - OH, CAREFUL,   YOU DAMN MONKEY.  607 00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:02,901  THAT'S FRAGILE.  608 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,806  - IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU      BACK ON THE FIELD, PAULIE.  609 00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:10,475  - OH, THANKS.   IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK.  610 00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:13,411  IT'S NICE TO KNOW   THAT I CAN STILL CLOT.  611 00:25:13,445 --> 00:25:14,880  WAY TO GO, PLATELETS.  612 00:25:14,913 --> 00:25:17,148  - [chuckles]  613 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:20,886  I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT     INTO IT WITH THAT CRAZY GUY.      614 00:25:20,919 --> 00:25:23,755      THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING   SO PRIMAL AND SEXY  615 00:25:23,788 --> 00:25:25,223  ABOUT TWO MEN FIGHTING.  616 00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:26,491  I DON'T KNOW.  617 00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:28,426      - WELL, VIOLENCE IS NEVER   THE ANSWER TO ANYTHING,  618 00:25:28,460 --> 00:25:29,427  UNLESS YOU WIN.  619 00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:32,264  [both chuckle]  620 00:25:32,297 --> 00:25:37,202  - SO YOU GONNA JOIN US       FOR BEERS AT O'REILLY'S?  621 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,872  - SURE.   WHY NOT?  622 00:25:40,906 --> 00:25:43,475  - GREAT.   I'LL SAVE YOU A SEAT.  623 00:25:43,508 --> 00:25:45,844  - AND I WILL SIT THERE.  624 00:25:45,877 --> 00:25:47,812  - [chuckles]   OKAY.  625 00:25:47,846 --> 00:25:50,715  [light rock music]  626 00:25:50,749 --> 00:25:58,790  ♪ ♪  627 00:25:59,858 --> 00:26:01,092  - ♪ BY THE WAY ♪  628 00:26:01,126 --> 00:26:05,163  ♪ IF THERE'S ONE THING   YOU CAN DO ♪  629 00:26:05,196 --> 00:26:08,300  ♪ HEAR ME NOW ♪  630 00:26:08,333 --> 00:26:10,502  ♪ HEAR ME NOW, NOW ♪  631 00:26:10,535 --> 00:26:15,941     ♪ I HAVE LEARNED AS THE SUN       FALLS DOWN ON YOU ♪  632 00:26:15,974 --> 00:26:18,577  ♪ HEAR ME NOW ♪  633 00:26:18,610 --> 00:26:21,446  ♪ HEAR ME NOW, NOW ♪  634 00:26:21,479 --> 00:26:25,283  ♪ 'CAUSE WE'RE   BREAKING IT DOWN ♪  635 00:26:25,317 --> 00:26:28,787  ♪ WE GOT TIME TO KILL ♪  636 00:26:28,820 --> 00:26:31,523  ♪ OOH, OOH ♪  637 00:26:31,556 --> 00:26:34,893  ♪ SO DON'T TALK ME   THROUGH IT ♪  638 00:26:34,926 --> 00:26:37,796  ♪ I'LL UNDERSTAND IT ♪  639 00:26:37,829 --> 00:26:40,165     ♪ WHEN EVERYTHING IS DONE ♪      640 00:26:40,198 --> 00:26:42,968  ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪  641 00:26:43,001 --> 00:26:46,137  ♪ I'M ALWAYS WAITING ♪  642 00:26:46,171 --> 00:26:49,341      ♪ BUT YOU DON'T KNOW IT ♪  643 00:26:49,374 --> 00:26:50,976     ♪ WHEN EVERYTHING IS DONE ♪      644 00:26:51,009 --> 00:26:53,878  ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪  645 00:26:53,912 --> 00:26:56,181  ♪ ♪  646 00:26:56,214 --> 00:26:57,582  ♪ BY THE WAY ♪  647 00:26:57,616 --> 00:27:00,619  ♪ IF THERE'S ONE THING   LEFT TO TRY ♪  648 00:27:00,652 --> 00:27:01,586  [thunder rumbles]  649 00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:03,989  ♪ HEAR ME NOW ♪  650 00:27:04,022 --> 00:27:07,225  ♪ HEAR ME NOW, NOW ♪  651 00:27:07,258 --> 00:27:08,460  ♪ YOU HAVE LEARNED ♪  652 00:27:08,493 --> 00:27:12,297  ♪ I CAN SEE THAT IN YOUR EYES ♪    653 00:27:12,330 --> 00:27:14,966  ♪ HEAR ME NOW ♪  654 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,969  ♪ HEAR ME NOW, NOW ♪  655 00:27:18,003 --> 00:27:21,606  ♪ 'CAUSE WE'RE   BREAKING IT DOWN ♪  656 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,976     ♪ BUT WE GOT TIME TO KILL ♪      657 00:27:25,010 --> 00:27:27,879  ♪ OOH, OOH ♪  658 00:27:27,912 --> 00:27:31,349  ♪ SO DON'T TALK ME   THROUGH IT ♪  659 00:27:31,383 --> 00:27:34,285  ♪ I'LL UNDERSTAND IT ♪  660 00:27:34,319 --> 00:27:36,354     ♪ WHEN EVERYTHING IS DONE ♪      661 00:27:36,388 --> 00:27:39,190  ♪ DON HOLD ME BACK ♪  662 00:27:39,224 --> 00:27:42,394  ♪ I'M ALWAYS WAITING ♪  663 00:27:42,427 --> 00:27:45,063      ♪ BUT YOU DON'T KNOW IT ♪  664 00:27:45,096 --> 00:27:47,232     ♪ WHEN EVERYTHING IS DONE ♪      665 00:27:47,265 --> 00:27:49,668  ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪  666 00:27:49,701 --> 00:27:52,671  ♪ OOH, OOH ♪  667 00:27:52,704 --> 00:27:54,906  ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪  668 00:27:54,939 --> 00:27:58,076  ♪ OOH, OOH ♪  669 00:27:58,109 --> 00:28:00,178  ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪  670 00:28:00,211 --> 00:28:03,348  ♪ OOH, OOH ♪  671 00:28:03,381 --> 00:28:06,718  ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪  79287

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