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1
00:00:07,625 --> 00:00:10,308
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Barbra Jean.
2
00:00:11,378 --> 00:00:14,379
Here you go,
Reba. A little gift.
3
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,498
Oh, lookee there.
4
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:24,072
A dartboard.
5
00:00:27,994 --> 00:00:30,345
Ha, ha, carrot top.
6
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:35,100
It's, uh... It's just a little somethin'
for you to remember me by.
7
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,653
Are we breaking up?
8
00:00:37,721 --> 00:00:40,255
What did I do, and
why didn't I do it sooner?
9
00:00:41,591 --> 00:00:44,827
Reba, we can't joke our way
out of this painful situation.
10
00:00:44,895 --> 00:00:47,679
Brock is selling our house
to pay the debt to the I.R.S.
11
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:50,626
Why do you have to do that? I thought
you guys were getting a second mortgage.
12
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:52,601
Brock's credit is wrecked.
13
00:00:52,669 --> 00:00:55,248
He said the guy at the bank
actually taped our application...
14
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,622
up in the coffee
room, next to Dilbert.
15
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,943
Selling your house. I
don't know what to say.
16
00:01:02,012 --> 00:01:04,963
- Wish there was
something I could do.
- There is.
17
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:08,116
Should have stopped after
"I don't know what to say."
18
00:01:08,185 --> 00:01:12,471
Reba, buy our house
and let us stay. Please?
19
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:14,228
Look, Barbra Jean, I
couldn't buy your house
20
00:01:14,252 --> 00:01:16,002
even if there was
normal people livin' in it.
21
00:01:16,026 --> 00:01:19,527
Well, you know, I
figured it was worth a shot.
22
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,913
You could have told me
that Brock was a deadbeat...
23
00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:24,483
before I started
sneaking around with him.
24
00:01:28,272 --> 00:01:31,156
God, I hate seeing
Barbra Jean sad.
25
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:34,242
It's like looking at a clown
without all her make-up on.
26
00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:39,984
Yeah, it's sad. I wish we
could help, but we can't.
27
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:43,318
- Yes, we can.
- I've got to quit saying that!
28
00:01:43,387 --> 00:01:45,320
Look, Mrs. H.
29
00:01:45,389 --> 00:01:48,823
When we flipped that house on Filmore
last month, we made a little money.
30
00:01:48,892 --> 00:01:51,226
But the big money is
owning a rental property.
31
00:01:51,295 --> 00:01:53,806
It makes a little money during
the month, but it also appreciates.
32
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:55,831
You gotta see the big picture.
33
00:01:55,900 --> 00:01:58,140
Do you know why
I keep saying no?
34
00:01:58,168 --> 00:02:00,802
Because of this big picture!
35
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,355
All right.
36
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,973
Barbra Jean, Barbra
Jean, Barbra Jean.
37
00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:09,027
You're so sensitive about Barbra
Jean. What has she ever done to you?
38
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:17,469
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She broke up
your marriage and stole your husband.
39
00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:20,143
Frankly, if you look
at the guy in the harsh
40
00:02:20,167 --> 00:02:22,857
light of day, you'll see
she did you a favor.
41
00:02:22,926 --> 00:02:26,461
Now, I got one word
for you... Let it go!
42
00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:27,585
That's three words.
43
00:02:27,609 --> 00:02:30,281
Not the way I say it.
Say it with me... "Letitgo."
44
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,568
Come on! We're talking
about makin' money here.
45
00:02:33,637 --> 00:02:36,750
Yeah, and I hate to bring human beings
in your whole big discussion about money,
46
00:02:36,774 --> 00:02:38,974
but, Mom, you could actually
help them keep their home.
47
00:02:39,042 --> 00:02:40,976
Who? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
48
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:44,799
Look, if you don't buy
their house, they're
49
00:02:44,823 --> 00:02:46,648
gonna have to leave
the place that they love.
50
00:02:46,717 --> 00:02:49,183
I mean, helping someone
keep their home is a huge deal.
51
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,986
You know, I work with the homeless.
We know, we know, we know.
52
00:02:52,055 --> 00:02:54,284
It's okay. But she
does make a good point.
53
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:57,525
Okay. What are you all saying?
If I'm a good person, I'll do this?
54
00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:00,706
Exactly, and that's what we're trying
to appeal to... your good "personess."
55
00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:04,032
You see, I got the head for
business. You got the body...
56
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,757
Ha, hey!
57
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,643
♪ My roots are
planted in the past ♪
58
00:03:15,712 --> 00:03:17,979
♪ Though my life
is changing fast ♪
59
00:03:18,048 --> 00:03:22,250
♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪
60
00:03:22,319 --> 00:03:24,953
♪ A single mom
who works too hard ♪
61
00:03:25,022 --> 00:03:27,689
♪ Who loves her
kids and never stops ♪
62
00:03:27,757 --> 00:03:29,324
♪ With gentle hands ♪
63
00:03:29,392 --> 00:03:31,259
♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪
64
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:37,949
♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪
65
00:03:45,842 --> 00:03:48,777
Hey, Mrs. H. The
lease is all ready to go.
66
00:03:48,845 --> 00:03:53,465
Oh, this is so exciting.
I love being a landlord.
67
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:56,984
I love land, and I
love being a lord.
68
00:03:57,053 --> 00:04:01,406
Hey, when they come in, can
we make 'em bow down to us?
69
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,079
Van, this is not a game.
70
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,507
I was being serious.
Kiss the pinky!
71
00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:14,669
Look, I agreed to buy Brock and
Barbra Jean's house to help 'em out.
72
00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:17,839
But there's a reason why you don't
sell your car to a family member.
73
00:04:17,908 --> 00:04:21,042
Or underwear.
74
00:04:21,110 --> 00:04:23,055
Barbra Jean said
they were unisex.
75
00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:25,030
Van!
76
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:36,674
I am tryin' to explain to you...
77
00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:39,411
why we need to keep this
arrangement strictly business.
78
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:43,765
I wanna avoid any situation which will
make me mad and give me motive to kill.
79
00:04:45,435 --> 00:04:47,902
There's my fairy godmother!
80
00:04:47,971 --> 00:04:51,205
Oh, hey. Can you turn
my husband into a prince?
81
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,696
Nope. He's stuck as a toad.
82
00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:05,303
Very nice. Look, Barbra Jean won't
listen to me because, well, she's my wife.
83
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:08,807
But I wanna go on record as saying
that the two of you buying my house...
84
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,909
is the worst idea
that I've ever heard.
85
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:14,979
Okay, what he means is,
thank you, thank you, thank you.
86
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,883
You don't have to thank us. Yeah,
your deposit check will take care of that.
87
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:22,971
Yeah. All you need to do is pay
us for the first and last month's rent,
88
00:05:23,039 --> 00:05:24,989
after you sign the lease.
89
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,342
What? A lease?
90
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,577
We don't need a lease,
Reba. We're friends.
91
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,099
Okay. Nothing about
that statement is correct.
92
00:05:37,187 --> 00:05:41,055
That's because we're the
landlords. You're the lowly tenants.
93
00:05:41,124 --> 00:05:45,460
But Mrs. H and I have agreed that
you don't have to bow or kiss the pinky.
94
00:05:46,964 --> 00:05:49,798
Okay. Yeah, it's
starting to sink in.
95
00:05:49,867 --> 00:05:52,868
My ex-wife owns my house.
96
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:56,270
Well, she got my first one.
Might as well have the set.
97
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,609
Reba, would this
figure here be the rent?
98
00:06:01,678 --> 00:06:04,813
Yep.
99
00:06:04,882 --> 00:06:08,616
Hey! It's a lot less than anything
else that's going in the neighborhood.
100
00:06:08,685 --> 00:06:12,119
I mean, golly! You didn't expect us
to let you live there for free, did ya?
101
00:06:12,188 --> 00:06:15,306
No. Maybe.
102
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,375
Would be nice.
103
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:20,628
Barbra Jean, this is a business
deal, and I wanna keep it that way.
104
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,881
Okay. Fine.
105
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:26,651
If that's the way you want
it. Van, can I borrow a pen?
106
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,054
Sure. But you're gonna need
to put a deposit down on it.
107
00:06:32,275 --> 00:06:34,375
I'm just kiddin'.
108
00:06:34,444 --> 00:06:38,813
Man, this is how I always
dreamed my life would turn out.
109
00:06:38,882 --> 00:06:40,882
Yeah, it's a real high point.
110
00:06:40,951 --> 00:06:44,219
Hey, maybe tomorrow morning
I'll wake up in bed with my mom.
111
00:07:04,273 --> 00:07:07,008
Sorry.
112
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,747
Hard work being a landlord, huh?
113
00:07:12,816 --> 00:07:16,651
I had no idea how
demanding tenants could be.
114
00:07:16,719 --> 00:07:19,254
Barbra Jean's complaining
that her dishwasher's broken...
115
00:07:19,322 --> 00:07:21,656
and expects me to
pay to have it fixed.
116
00:07:21,724 --> 00:07:25,493
I got one word for you,
Barbra Jean... "paperplates"!
117
00:07:25,562 --> 00:07:28,513
Van, that is two words.
118
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:31,399
"Letitgo"!
119
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,590
You know, you sound like
some sort of fat cat slumlord.
120
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,775
"Fat cat."
121
00:07:40,844 --> 00:07:43,277
I like that.
122
00:07:43,346 --> 00:07:46,481
I like cats, and I like fat.
123
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,185
Aah!
124
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,599
Van, we have to fix their
dishwasher. It's part of being a landlord.
125
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:06,701
No, it isn't, Mrs. H.
126
00:08:06,770 --> 00:08:09,270
Being a landlord is soaking
the tenants for every penny...
127
00:08:09,339 --> 00:08:12,256
so I can sit around, take
naps and go to the gym...
128
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,292
Which I'm late for, by the way.
129
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:17,707
Van, you know, your new obsession
with money is very unattractive.
130
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:21,749
Oh, yeah? That might be, but
take a look at these hammies.
131
00:08:23,487 --> 00:08:25,670
Hey, guys.
132
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:28,790
Yeah, right. Wash a dish.
133
00:08:34,564 --> 00:08:38,483
You know, you should go home,
take a sock and shove it down the toilet.
134
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:41,402
See if his "hammies"
can fix that.
135
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,456
So, uh, Reba, listen.
136
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:49,611
Uh, Barbra Jean sent me over
here to give you the security deposit.
137
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:51,694
Oh, great. The way
she was acting, I thought
138
00:08:51,718 --> 00:08:53,431
I was gonna have
a problem with that.
139
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:56,885
Yeah. Well, here you go.
140
00:09:00,724 --> 00:09:03,908
What's that? That's
the security deposit.
141
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:07,162
It's, uh... It's all in dimes.
She said you should count it.
142
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:14,552
That's insane! I can't drag
a bag of dimes to the bank!
143
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:17,488
They'll think I've
robbed a fountain. Oh.
144
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,591
Yeah. Uh, listen.
There's something else.
145
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:22,159
Barbra Jean has decided
to fix up the house,
146
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,630
and, since you're the
landlord, "It's on your dime."
147
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,232
She said I should make sure
and say it exactly like that.
148
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:32,670
Okay. All right. I'm gonna go
take care of this insanity right now!
149
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,673
Yeah.
150
00:09:40,096 --> 00:09:42,196
Barbra Jean? Yeah.
151
00:09:42,265 --> 00:09:44,231
We need to talk. Oh.
152
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:47,084
Hey, Mrs. Roper.
153
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,206
- What are you doing?
- Redecorating.
154
00:09:51,274 --> 00:09:55,159
Which color do you like for the
living room... sand or Parisian ecru?
155
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:58,896
Which color were you sniffing when you
decided I was gonna paint your house?
156
00:10:01,584 --> 00:10:03,918
Well, according to the
Tenants' Rights Hotline,
157
00:10:03,986 --> 00:10:07,555
it is customary for the landlord
to repaint every two years.
158
00:10:07,624 --> 00:10:10,124
We've only owned
the property for a week.
159
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:15,063
Well, it's not my fault the previous
owners didn't keep the property up.
160
00:10:15,131 --> 00:10:17,214
Why are you doing this?
Why am I doing what?
161
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,517
Why am I standing
up for my rights?
162
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:22,420
Why am I not letting
"the man" stick it to me?
163
00:10:23,807 --> 00:10:26,207
I'm not "the man," and
I'm not sticking it to you!
164
00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:31,307
And there is no way that Van
and I are gonna pay for upgrades...
165
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:34,465
like wallpaper and paint and...
166
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:37,485
Are you redoing the floor? Yes.
167
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,954
I am making a necessary repair.
168
00:10:40,022 --> 00:10:42,540
There's a nick behind the couch.
169
00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:54,401
So you have a nick? And you
want me to replace the whole floor?
170
00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:57,121
Yeah. It's a hazard.
Henry could snag a sock.
171
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:59,591
Anything could happen. I
mean, someone could die.
172
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:04,123
That's it, Barbra Jean! No
floor! No paint! No nothing!
173
00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:06,308
And if you ever pay
me with a sack of dimes,
174
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:09,750
I will tie that to your feet and throw
you in the lake! Do you understand me?
175
00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:13,587
You better watch it, because I still got
some dimes and I... Oh, God! Ow! My ankle!
176
00:11:13,656 --> 00:11:16,924
Oh, Barbra Jean. Are you
okay? Should I call a doctor?
177
00:11:16,993 --> 00:11:19,043
Yeah.
178
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:22,262
But first call a lawyer,
'cause I'm suing you.
179
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,816
I'm so weak.
180
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:40,581
Hey, when those whiny renters
get back from the hospital,
181
00:11:40,650 --> 00:11:43,718
can you make sure and tell them
that I took care of their petty complaints?
182
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:46,788
And I did it myself. And I
saved a few bucks by doing it.
183
00:11:46,856 --> 00:11:49,724
Licensed plumber, my butt.
184
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:51,726
Plumber butt.
185
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,797
"Just say no to crack."
186
00:12:01,504 --> 00:12:04,004
Van, you don't know
anything about plumbing.
187
00:12:04,073 --> 00:12:08,175
I don't know anything about
gas, either, but I fixed the furnace.
188
00:12:08,244 --> 00:12:10,978
Those people are
trouble. I say we evict them.
189
00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:13,414
Van, that's my father
you're talking about.
190
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:17,502
It's all about the poor
tenants, isn't it? Right. Yeah.
191
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:22,073
Nobody ever thinks
about the fat cat landlord,
192
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:25,743
do they?
193
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,581
I'm gonna go get a
beer and some fudge.
194
00:12:36,072 --> 00:12:38,072
Hello, Reba.
195
00:12:38,141 --> 00:12:41,208
I'm fine. They may
have to amputate.
196
00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:46,781
But, you know, I can always get a
license plate that says "STUMPY."
197
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,386
Barbra Jean, the doctor
said it was a sprain.
198
00:12:51,454 --> 00:12:55,456
He said it was the kind of sprain
he saw all the time... in 'Nam.
199
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:00,477
You know, Barbra Jean, so
Mom isn't the best landlord.
200
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:02,751
I mean, seriously, if
Van and I had to pay
201
00:13:02,775 --> 00:13:05,216
rent, we would have
moved out a long time ago.
202
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,952
Thank you, honey. Uh-huh.
203
00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:13,925
Look, Barbra Jean, I know you came over
here to make me feel guilty, but I don't.
204
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:16,661
I'm sorry you're hurt,
but it wasn't my fault.
205
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:20,931
Well, it isn't up to me to determine
who is or isn't at fault, Reba.
206
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,402
That is for the judge to
decide. Here's your subpoena.
207
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:28,890
I brought it to you myself because I
just know how much you love paperwork.
208
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,344
Oh, and while
you're eating crow,
209
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,413
try not to get
any on that shirt,
210
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,382
because I plan to take
it right off your back.
211
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,418
Good one!
212
00:13:45,174 --> 00:13:49,176
And I got one word for
you, Barbra Jean... "Letitgo"!
213
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,308
Mrs. H, guess what. What?
214
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,244
I hired a private detective
to dig up dirt on Barbra Jean.
215
00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:11,148
This baby is loaded with
character deformation.
216
00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:14,468
- You mean "defamation."
- I mean both.
217
00:14:16,139 --> 00:14:18,072
This lawsuit's ridiculous.
218
00:14:18,141 --> 00:14:20,056
I mean, if she's gonna
sue me for hurting
219
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,209
her, I wish I could get
one more crack at it.
220
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:25,129
Mrs. H, there's no
way she's gonna win.
221
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,581
We have a secret
weapon in the arsenal.
222
00:14:27,651 --> 00:14:31,285
Do you know Barbra Jean has
been arrested for public indecency...
223
00:14:31,354 --> 00:14:33,287
three times?
224
00:14:33,356 --> 00:14:36,657
Oh-ho!
225
00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:39,961
Oh, great. Now you've
ruined Oktoberfest for me.
226
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,115
Sorry we're late.
227
00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:46,183
We would've been here sooner,
228
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:49,670
except I can barely walk
on my nearly broken leg.
229
00:14:49,739 --> 00:14:52,807
Well, if you're really suffering,
we could always put you down.
230
00:14:55,277 --> 00:14:57,812
Makes fun of cripples.
Write that down.
231
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,133
Let's just stick to this case
for the time being, shall we?
232
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:05,970
Mrs. Hart, Barbra Jean's lawsuit
alleges that neglectful conduct...
233
00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:08,856
has led to the severe
sprain of her ankle,
234
00:15:08,925 --> 00:15:13,794
affected her time with her child and
led to the demise of her wifely duties.
235
00:15:13,863 --> 00:15:15,813
What does that mean?
236
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:19,834
It means we're gonna be getting
a thank-you letter from Brock.
237
00:15:19,903 --> 00:15:21,947
It's time for my
pain medication.
238
00:15:21,971 --> 00:15:25,305
Why don't you write down that
I'm also now addicted to painkillers?
239
00:15:25,374 --> 00:15:29,627
Not for the first time.
Right, Barbra Jean?
240
00:15:31,797 --> 00:15:33,781
Are you Reba Hart's lawyer?
241
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:36,350
I'm Van Montgomery,
co-owner of the alleged property,
242
00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:40,988
which we graciously allowed this
deadbeat renter to continue living in.
243
00:15:41,057 --> 00:15:43,741
She would have been out
on the street if it weren't for us.
244
00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:46,327
Not for the first time.
245
00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:50,648
Right, Barbra Jean?
246
00:15:55,771 --> 00:15:59,273
You are not named in the
lawsuit, Mr. Montgomery.
247
00:15:59,342 --> 00:16:01,675
Mrs. Hart is only
suing Mrs. Hart.
248
00:16:01,744 --> 00:16:03,928
What? That's not fair!
249
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:06,525
Life's not fair, Mrs. H. You're
on your own. Bye, guys.
250
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,382
Van!
251
00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:12,036
All right. Let's get into
this. What is your full name?
252
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:15,022
- Reba Nell Hart.
- And what's your date of birth?
253
00:16:15,091 --> 00:16:17,274
- December the 12th.
- 19...
254
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:20,227
"19-none of your
business." Move on.
255
00:16:20,296 --> 00:16:24,882
And, um, what are your
feelings towards Barbra Jean?
256
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:28,402
What are my feelings? What's
that got to do with this case?
257
00:16:28,471 --> 00:16:31,204
I have no idea. Barbra Jean
gave me this list of questions.
258
00:16:31,273 --> 00:16:34,575
Can't we use my
questions now? No!
259
00:16:34,644 --> 00:16:36,855
Question 21.
260
00:16:36,879 --> 00:16:39,958
Have you had it in for Barbra Jean
ever since she stole your husband,
261
00:16:39,982 --> 00:16:41,989
so that when you saw the
chance to buy her house
262
00:16:42,013 --> 00:16:43,918
and cause her financial
ruin and humiliation,
263
00:16:43,986 --> 00:16:45,920
you did it gleefully?
264
00:16:45,988 --> 00:16:48,989
What? No! That's
a crazy question!
265
00:16:49,058 --> 00:16:52,243
It is not a crazy question...
Just like Question 43.
266
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:54,545
Do you sit in your
house, which you own,
267
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,925
and happily toast your
superiority with champagne...
268
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:59,161
that you bought with
Barbra Jean's rent money?
269
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,468
Okay.
270
00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:04,583
First of all, when I'm sitting alone
in my home thinking about you,
271
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,607
I'm drinkin' hard liquor!
272
00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:08,609
Oh!
273
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:18,001
And second of all, do you
really think I could do that?
274
00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:23,157
Yes. Because the only reason you bought
our house was to humiliate and punish me.
275
00:17:23,226 --> 00:17:26,244
- You asked me to buy it!
- Is that true?
276
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,412
Yeah. You didn't tell me that.
277
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:32,216
Maybe I should just take the bar exam
for you, too, cowboy, huh? How 'bout that?
278
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:38,172
Yeah. I asked you, Reba,
because we needed your help.
279
00:17:38,241 --> 00:17:42,409
But you... you just saw it as a
chance to swoop in like a vulture...
280
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,930
and feast on the dead
carcass of our financial ruin!
281
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:49,433
I have no interest in
feasting on your carcass.
282
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:53,137
You made me sign a lease.
283
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:55,706
Do you have any idea
how that made me feel?
284
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,692
Sheltered? Safe?
285
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,626
Terrible.
286
00:17:59,695 --> 00:18:04,048
Like I was just a... A
rent check, a dollar sign,
287
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:08,169
instead of the woman who stole your
husband and became your best friend.
288
00:18:10,372 --> 00:18:12,807
Barbra Jean,
take my word for it.
289
00:18:12,875 --> 00:18:15,826
My feelings for you
have not changed.
290
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,062
Really?
291
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:21,282
Yes! I bought the house so you
wouldn't be thrown out on the street.
292
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:25,202
And I made you sign a lease so
there would be no misunderstandings...
293
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,854
to get into the way of our...
294
00:18:26,923 --> 00:18:29,356
Love for each other? Whatever.
295
00:18:31,093 --> 00:18:33,994
So... So you really
felt bad for us?
296
00:18:34,063 --> 00:18:36,997
How could I not
feel bad for you?
297
00:18:37,066 --> 00:18:39,650
I mean, you're in such
a... a financial hole...
298
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,653
that you might never,
ever get out of it.
299
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:46,340
As much as I'd like to revel in
that, I hate to see you suffer like this.
300
00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,793
Really?
301
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:53,664
So when I hurt, you hurt?
302
00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:02,306
If you don't move your
hand, you're gonna hurt.
303
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:06,210
Oh, Reba, I can't sue you.
I'm dropping the lawsuit.
304
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:09,713
Oh, Reba, you are a
dear, sweet woman.
305
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,716
Oh, whatever. And you know what?
306
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:16,337
I'm just so happy that I could
dance in the streets naked!
307
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,589
Not for the first time.
308
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,658
Right, Barbra Jean?
309
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:40,728
How did you get that? Oh,
God. I thought I burned them.
310
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,415
Oh, God!
311
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:53,457
Van. Van. Please,
Van. Where'd you get...
312
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,943
Oh, God!
313
00:19:57,313 --> 00:20:00,497
I was so young,
Van. Really. Oh, God!
314
00:20:10,559 --> 00:20:12,492
Hey!
315
00:20:12,561 --> 00:20:16,563
Wait a minute. Now
I remember you!
316
00:21:01,410 --> 00:21:04,345
Acme!
24774
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