Original subtitles

Sunny Green here, awaiting the arrival of a savior.

And thanks to Claire, my surrogate,

I'm going to be the mother of God.

- Ain't that right, Claire? - I told you, it isn't a god, man.

When we left that club, the coupon that guy gave us said "demon."

Interesting. You know what?

Ladi did say something about it being a test-tube Antichrist

sent from EgoSystems to destroy the human race

and bring about the Apocalypse.

But I was drunk when she said it, so it doesn't count.

Messiah or Antichrist, we'll love it however it identifies.

Where's Ladi, by the way?

She said something about shrinking down

to the size of a single cell to kill the baby before it could kill us.

Personally, I think she's just jealous.

Bingo.

See you in hell, Satan!

Shit!

You aren't one of mine. State your business.

EgoSystems is launching phase one of their plan

to exterminate human citizens of the Earth

by unleashing a cannibalistic Antichrist

manufactured by human-god hybrids

and you have to let me go so I can stop them.

You mean us?

- No! - You're too late.

Our fastest soldier has already infiltrated the E.G.G.

At 0400 hours, the world as you know it

will be destroyed forever.

The people of South Central will never embrace your Antichrist.

Adam Haboob here with a South Central native

who demanded he remain nameless.

Noted influencer Sunny Green says the Messiah is coming.

- How do you feel about that? - How I feel?

Shit, ready to embrace it, that's how I feel.

This city's been going to hell in a damn handbasket for years.

President Vending Machine don't care about us.

It's about time we got a lord and savior.

- For our neighborhood. - Absolutely!

Sir, the amniotic sac has been breached!

What? But it's too soon.

Damn!

Not on my watch, you son of a bitch!

If I can make it out before the baby,

I may still have time to defeat this thing

before it destroys us all.

There you go. Nice easy breaths.

You do not want the baby coming out stressed, or ugly.

With me up in that? Not a chance.

Aw, look, it's imprinting on you.

That's right, my child. Can you say "Mama"?

You fools!

Mankind's destruction is at hand!

What the hell?

I am the righteous hand of man's downfall!

Why, you disrespectful piece of shit!

Looks like Osiris lost a little bit of weight.

Sunny, why did you punch your baby?

After all that crap it was talking about

downfalls and being the righteous hand?

There's only one righteous hand

up in this motherfucker and that's me.

Yeah. Cheers to that, man.

Hell yeah, rice balls.

Thank you very much.

Well, what I heard is a child with a purpose.

And as its mother, you should want to nurture that.

Oh, hell yeah.

It's finna bless us.

Engage thruster brakes!

How do you feel about this baby, now that you're on fire?

You know, being incinerated

has somewhat soured me on this baby.

And do you still feel confident that this is the Messiah?

I feel confident that I'm about to beat your ass.

Stupid shit.

Where am I?

Down here!

Now, Tulip, the Schnible says,

"Spare the punt, spoil the runt."

So, I did what any God-fearing parent would.

I placed it back on the path of righteousness,

and it shall never depart.

It will be grateful the same way I'm grateful for the times

my mother punted me out the window when I was a kid.

It taught me the invaluable lesson,

trust no one.

If it wasn't for her, I'd be more vulnerable,

which would allow me to cultivate

long-lasting, successful relationships

where I don't lead with anger and suspicion

as a means to self-protect,

which only leads to self-abandonment.

Oh, my God, yes!

That's it! In order to heal my wounds,

I have to process this trauma first.

By showing your child it's worthy of love.

By taking my issues out on my child

by inflicting more physical pain onto them.

Time to bury old pain with...

A new beatin'!

Whoever raised this baby is to blame.

Kid came out the greasy cooch-shoot trippin'

with nowhere to unpack.

Absolutely fascinating take on the baby's upbringing.

What was your upbringing like?

My upbringing? It was like this.

Damn it. Oh, the amniotic fluid

must have jammed the hardware on my Big-Enner.

Oh shit!

Too big.

Too small.

Listen up wherever you are, you ugly, evil bastard.

It's your mother, Sunny Green, and I'm here to remind you...

You're perfect just the way you are, and that we failed

to protect you from the cold, heartless world

and nurture the goodness within you.

And you're not ugly.

That baby is uglier than sin.

And it got that from the woman who birthed it.

Not me, obviously.

Send a beast emoji if you agree.

Hell yeah, they know what's up.

Sunny, you have to approach parenting

with more patience and grace.

Otherwise, you're only creating another imbalance

in the collective conscience...

I gave that son of a bitch everything,

and it tried to scalp me.

I put my entire life on hold for him.

You threw a 10-minute baby shower.

Ten of my best minutes.

Chat, send an hourglass emoji if you agree.

What's going on?

I'm hungry.

I don't know why.

You ain't done shit all day.

I just gave birth, man.

There's the baby, man.

Oh, my God, it's hideous!

Well, I mean, coupon did say demon, right?

It got its looks from you, Claire.

No. It's a demon.

You! Claire.

If this baby ain't a metaphor for raising children,

then I don't know what is.

One minute you're changing diapers,

the next minute you're watching 'em grow.

As a parent, it's hard to witness 'em make mistakes.

But, hey, you gotta love 'em through it.

That's beautiful.

Any child would be lucky to have you as a parent.

Adam?

Daddy?

Boy, what the hell you doing out here

with a microphone in your hand reporting the news?

We a news-watchin' family.

The exploitation of autonomy is the very reason

the long-lost art form of corporal punishment was created.

Which is why I intend to bring it back in style,

live on Scuttlebutt.

Disrespectful motherfucker!

Sunny. Exercise gentle parenting.

Now, come here so I can beat your ass.

Don't put that in your mouth.

Death to humans!

Help! Help me!

I can't believe this.

I can't believe this is how my life ends.

And now, it's about to kill my friends too,

and it's all my fault.

Yes, you're pretty crappy. Get it?

Because you're in the stomach.

Tulip was right.

I should have, like, supported the baby's dreams.

Or at least just, like, try to understand

why it wants to destroy humankind.

You know, help it identify its other strengths,

come up with a plan B.

But no, I just had to kick it out the window.

- My God! - Ladi?

You're alive!

The baby just duplicated.

Oh, my God, that one looks just like Sunny.

Oh, my God, it's actually, like, a really attractive baby.

Oh, my God, its body and hair is insane.

It's breaking into a gorgeous freestyle modern dance.

It's moving me to tears,

something that never happens.

No way!

Sunny, you missed it.

The second baby looked just like you.

I heard.

No, thank you.

Interesting. Now, where's this really gorgeous baby...

- ...that looks like me? - I decapitated it.

With your car, Sunny.

What?! Why did you do that?

It was trying to end humankind.

Or did you forget while you were inside of its belly,

floating on stomach acid?

Well, excuse me for projecting innocence onto the baby

after you were crying about how attractive it was, okay?

- Repulsive. - Ladi, to be fair...

You took pause when the baby did a pirouette.

I paused to aim.

You try choking a baby motherfucker

while they spinning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, sure.

A giant one at that, with metal crab legs.

Sure.

I'd like to see you go through what I went through today.

I got pistol-whipped by a sperm today.

Snap, you did just save the world, didn't you?

- Yeah, something like that. - Thanks a lot, dude.

Yeah. Thanks, Ladi.

Anytime.

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