Original subtitles

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(tense music)

♪ Out of my head ♪

♪ People think that I'm crazy ♪

♪ I can't get out of my bed ♪

♪ People think that I'm lazy ♪

♪ I'm just a jock and I'm making some cosmic sweat ♪

♪ What can I do? ♪

♪ Whoa, it's a mind bender ♪

♪ Oh, it's a mind bender now, baby ♪

(energetic rock music blares)

(car engine humming)

(energetic rock music cont.)

(students chattering)

(rock music cont.) (students chatter)

(plate slaps)

(energetic rock music)

(plate slaps)

(students shout) (energetic rock music cont.)

- My God, man, you're telling me

that the school board won't authorize funds

for the barbed wire because they don't think it's necessary?

Well, what do they think I'm dealing with here?

A bunch of kids?

I'm in the trenches 12 hours a day.

I'm working in a combat zone, Francis!

(students shouting)

- Guess what?

- [Students] Food fight!

(students shouting)

(energetic rock music) (students shout)

♪ I can do the mash potato and the gravy all night ♪

♪ I'm in a food fight, food fight ♪

♪ Beef patty 'til fatty ♪

♪ Macaroni and cheese ♪

♪ Rice pudding with a spoon ♪

♪ Whipped cream, if you please ♪

♪ I can do the mash potato and the gravy all night ♪

♪ I'm in a food fight, food fight ♪

♪ Throw the pickle, throw the lettuce ♪

(energetic rock music cont.)

(students shouting)

♪ I can do the mash potato and the gravy all night ♪

♪ I'm in a food fight, food fight ♪

♪ I'm a yeller in the shower ♪

♪ Pork chop and with sauce ♪

♪ Get ready for spaghetti ♪

♪ Baked beans with the toast ♪

♪ I can do the mash potato and the gravy all night ♪

♪ I'm in a food fight, food fight ♪

♪ I can do the mash potato and the gravy all night ♪

♪ I'm in a food fight, food fight ♪

♪ Food fight, food fight ♪

- Three kids at home who don't recognize me,

a wife who can't remember

that I don't like starch in my shirts!

I know you don't care, Francis!

I'll just have to take matters into my own hands!

(phone receiver clanks)

Oh, oh!

Oh!

Oh!

(melodramatic music)

(students shouting)

(food slaps)

This is perfect!

A few of you are already on my list!

I'm just happy to see a few new additions!

(students laugh)

- [Student] Shh!

- As you were!

(students laugh)

This morning in the cafeteria was just

another example of the total disrespect these children

have for authority, for property, for each other!

- Now, as I said in the last staff meeting,

Kingston High School has had the privilege to be selected

by the Behavior Modification Research Institute as a test

site for their latest achievements in adolescent psychology.

We can use the existing sound system.

Of course, I'll have to close the student radio station,

which is no great loss.

- Is that really necessary?

Many of my students contribute to the student radio.

- Contribute?

It's just an excuse to play that noise they call music!

I want no more of that sexually provocative tribal music!

Why do you think they're so promiscuous to begin with?

From now on, it's going to be my music and my music only.

(teacher clears throat)

What is it now?

- Couldn't that be considered censorship?

Don't you think the children have the right

to freedom of expression?

- Censorship.

Freedom of expression.

What about my rights not to have obscenities

blasting from the speakers?

(energetic rock music)

- Think Borden was a little upset

about that pie in the face.

- No, he loves lemon meringues.

(both laughing)

- You guys are late.

- Julie, you know how Principal Borden said you're supposed

to be playing easy listening music.

- It's easy. - Easy or sleazy?

- Easy or sleazy, I like that.

- Me too.

- Bye, guys. - Bye.

All right, that was Julie Freeman's Sleazy Metal Show.

What can we say? - Yeah, what can we say?

- Well, we can say welcome to the Frankie Lawrence --

- And Crash Hopkins Show!

- Yeah!

- Why don't you try to understand what I'm doing here?

All day long, I have to deal with students

who don't respect me, then I have to contend

with limp-wristed liberal staff members

who know nothing about authority or leadership!

Speaking of which, where is that French teacher?

- [Teacher] He took his class on an excursion

to an art museum.

- Art?! Art?!

(Gunbow clears throat)

Why don't we have Dr. Gunbow explain his system to us?

- Thank you, Principle Borden.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm Dr. Gunbow, from the Behavior Modification

Research Institute.

Now, I realize several of you are skeptical,

but rather than explain theories,

perhaps I can simply show you how it works.

May I use one of you?

How about you, Ms. Knight?

- I'm probably your worst choice.

- Why is that?

- First of all, Dr. Gunbow, I resent the whole idea

of this meeting.

- You do?

- I don't like having my time wasted.

I had several tutorials that I canceled to be here.

And secondly, I don't understand

why an outsider's being brought in.

These children are students, not Guinea pigs.

And I feel we should be able

to handle our discipline problems ourselves.

- I can appreciate how you feel, Ms. Knight,

but what if I could show you something

that will help you handle these discipline problems

and leave you more time with your students?

Would you at least consider it?

- Well, all right.

(eerie music)

- Thank you for your help, Ms. Knight.

If you would, just take a seat.

I'm going to place the headphones over your ears,

and just sit back and simply enjoy the tones.

As you can see, Ms. Knight is presently

in a state of irritation and annoyance.

The tones she is listening to are interlaced

with inaudible subliminal commands that calm her nerves

and put her in a more receptive state of mind.

- So amazing.

- Why do you always buy those heavy metal albums?

I mean, heavy metal, heavy metal, heavy, heavy metal.

What is heavy metal?

I don't even get it.

- Staff convoked, library closed until 12 o'clock.

Hey, this is pretty interesting.

Let's try the other door.

(students chattering)

- Come on.

- So let's see how they've affected her

even after this short amount of time.

How do you feel, Ms. Knight?

- I feel fine. - Good.

How do you feel now about the behavior

modification experiment?

- Well, I guess if it could do some good, I mean,

probably wouldn't be a bad idea.

I mean, you know, if we could spend less time on discipline,

then we'd have more time for teaching.

- Thank you, thank you so much, Ms. Knight.

As you can see from even the simple experiment,

which I developed while attending Harvard,

the system is highly capable

of producing major behavioral shifts.

- Julie, Julie, Julie. - Here, okay?

- [Calvin] Oh no, give me my glasses, Julie.

You know I can't do anything without my glasses!

- Oh, yes you can. (laughs)

- It even has an inhibiting impact on sexual expression.

- Julie, did you hear that?

What was that?

- What, about inhibiting sexual expression?

I don't think we have to worry about that.

- Your claims are very impressive,

but I don't understand why we have

to shut down the student radio station.

- Wait, wait, who's...

They're talking about closing the school radio station.

- And like every other teacher, I'd like

to see the students be more responsive to learning.

- Do you ever listen?

Dr. Gunbow has explained that! That these kids,

with their rocking and roll music, it has them,

their brains in a wired up state.

No more rock and roll!

(suspenseful music)

- I can't believe what we just heard.

You know, I don't care if that guy went to Harvard.

This means war!

No one is gonna shut down our radio station.

- This just in, hot oft the press.

Famed country music singer, Willie Nelson,

has just been run over by a Mack truck.

- It was noted at the time of the accident

that the singer was singing,

♪ On the road again ♪

♪ I just can't wait to get splat ♪

(students laughing)

- We will be testing a variety of tones

to find out which ones affect the children,

but most importantly, to what degree.

The tones will signal the teacher

that the brainwave-altering patterns,

which are inaudible to the ear, are being emitted.

Are there any questions?

- Thank you, Dr. Gunbow, for that moving demonstration.

We all have responsibilities to look after,

so let's hop to it.

- And now, it's time for Teen Tidbits.

Important advice for today's troubled teens.

Now that you're in high school,

it is no longer permissible to dot your Is

with hearts, stars, or big Os.

Pay attention, Marks and Kim.

Mm-hmm. - We see you!

- And this just in from a very reliable source.

- Mark Friedkin makes noises when he kisses.

(students laughing)

- Well, that just about wraps up our morning show,

so don't be late for class.

And just think about that skinny guy

sitting next to you in accounting class.

He just might grow up to be a loan officer in your bank.

So this is Frankie -- - And Crash.

- Saying be nice, be nice.

Oh, oh, don't tell me.

This is the last day we can buy Girl Scout cookies.

- No, no, no, no, today, this could be the end

of civilization as you guys know it.

- Hmm. So far, I like it.

- Would you guys listen to me?

I have something very important to say.

Stop that, you're making me nervous!

Can't you guys act normal for five minutes?

- I don't know.

Can we handle acting normal for five minutes?

- Oh, that would be a record.

- No, I don't think so. - Listen, listen, listen.

I was in the library with Julie

and I overheard something --

- Oh, oh, the library with Julie, huh?

- Studying ancient sexual practice again?

- Hey, hey, hey, that was a very serious paper.

I happened to have gotten an A+ on that paper.

- Oh, A+.

Oh, got an A+. - Mr. Genius!

- Listen, Borden is taking all the rebellious kids,

and it includes you two,

and putting them into a special class.

You're gonna be Guinea pigs in some very high-tech

behavior modification experiment.

- Is that what you're all lathered up about?

They tried that stuff before, it never works.

- Yeah, remember that lady shrink that they

brought in that time?

- Yeah, right. - I don't remember that.

- Sure you do.

She's the one that cheerleader set fire to.

(both mock-scream melodramatically)

- Borden is shutting down the school radio station.

(bell ringing)

(soft rock music)

(students laughing)

(students chattering)

Hey fellas, fellas, fellas, I got a great idea.

I'll write up a petition

and we'll get all the students to sign it.

- Oh, Calvin, you were born 20 years too late.

- We have got to organize.

- Come on, man, you can't organize high school students.

Don't you watch 60 Minutes?

We don't care about anything.

We're apathetic!

Do you wanna go to class? - I don't care.

- Oh, come on.

- Guess who? (laughs)

- The flying nun.

(lips smacking)

(soft rock music cont.)

- [Frankie] We'll meet you at the mall!

(students grunting)

(rock music cont.)

(car engine humming)

(tires screeching)

(car engine rumbling)

(tires screeching)

(rock music cont.)

(metal clangs)

(shoes clacking)

Oh my God, oh my God.

That's gorgeous. - Should we go back after her?

(people chattering)

- Come on, that'd be great.

- I think it's worth a try. - Do we care?

- Come on. - Let's go.

- Come on. - What are you guys doing?

- Come on. - You guys.

- Excuse us, excuse us.

Excuse me, excuse me.

(person laughs)

- [Calvin] I just knew they wouldn't get there.

- [Crash] Let's go back.

- I gotta get a petition signed, I'm gonna ask somebody.

Hey. - Hey, that's right.

- Look, where are you going? - We got something to do.

- [Frankie] Oh, here.

(energetic rock music)

- Maybe with green eyes, tall and very muscular.

Ugh, but not too bulky.

I still wanna be able to throw him around.

(hard rock music cont.)

- So I told the guy. - Yeah.

- The only way I'm gonna trade my Porsche

for his Maserati is if it's got the burgundy interior.

- Definitely. - Of course.

- Excuse me, ladies, are these two seats taken?

- Well.

No.

- Charles.

- Well, I guess I just about wore out my Amex gold card

today with all that shopping we did.

- So you've been busy shopping, have you?

- Oh, yeah, I guess we bought out half the mall.

- Yeah.

- Where are all your packages?

- We had them delivered. - Yep.

- Ah, I guess that explains that.

- That does explain it. - That explains that, yeah.

Can we buy you ladies a drink?

Charles?

(liquor splashes)

(both exhaling)

- Excuse me?

Would you like to sign the petition

to help save the school radio station?

What do you mean?

Come on.

All right, girls, excuse me.

It is very important for you to sign this

to help save the school radio station.

What do you mean, no thank you? Every --

Oh, Ralph, come here.

Ralph, please sign this petition

to help save the school radio station, would you please?

- I guess she had six or seven.

- I think it was eight.

- You're right, it was eight.

Eight orgasms in one night.

- At least.

You know, you are a monster, I meant to tell you that.

How do you do it?

- Bye, boys. - Where are you guys going?

- Bye, boys. - What?

- Another round? - Wait a second, don't leave.

Oh, God!

- [Together] Cheers.

(Frankie laughs)

- Would you like to sign --

Would you like to sign -- - No, thank you.

- No, thank you?

- And rich, of course, but someone

who really understands me for who I am.

Who won't be possessive, but on the other hand is faithful.

- Julie, Julie, come on.

I have to go, I have an exam tomorrow.

- You promise?

(lips smacking)

- Get petition signers, you know.

Hey, would you believe it, fellas?

Only two people signed the whole petition not

to close the school radio station.

- Didn't I tell you? Would 60 Minutes lie?

- Do you really think he's gonna shut us down?

- Experience should tell us that when old brass balls

says he's gonna do something, he means it.

- Yeah, but what the hell are we gonna do at school now?

- You might try learning something.

(friends gagging dramatically)

- That's disgusting, come on, Julie.

- Bye, guys. - Come on.

- Bye. - Bye.

- What does she see in him?

- Oh, a nice car, rich father.

Admission to Harvard, guaranteed 60 grand first year out.

House in Spain, another one in the South of France.

- Or maybe, the rumor that he's hung like a horse is true.

(both laughing)

- [Together] Nah.

(car engine humming)

(car doors slamming)

(door slams)

(Frankie groans)

(loud squeaking)

- Do you know what time it is?

- Yeah, it's a quarter after.

- Quarter after what?

- I don't know, the little hand fell oft.

- Where have you been all night?

- I was at the mall with Calvin and Frankie.

- You expect me to believe you spent eight

and a half hours at the mall?

- Yeah.

- If you can spend eight hours doing God knows what,

then you should be working.

Not just hanging out, being a bum.

I think it's time you started contributing something.

- I told you, I'm gonna get a job this summer.

- You're turning out just like your father.

Good for nothing, lying, lazy bum!

(tense music)

(door bangs)

(tense music cont.)

(Frankie sighs)

(shoes scratch)

(alarm rings)

(mellow music) (alarm rings)

(alarm rings)

(mellow music)

(Frankie groans)

(body thuds)

(Frankie groans)

(footsteps thudding)

(water splashing)

- Whoo!

(hands slap)

(cap clanks)

(vitamins rattle)

(hard rock music)

(gargling sounds)

(can hisses)

(hard rock music cont.)

Oh, pew!

(orange juice splashing)

(Frankie humming)

(fingers snap)

(Frankie humming)

What?

What?

What did I do now?

- We got a call from the principal's office.

We were told you're being placed in a special class.

- Yeah, Dad, didn't I tell you about it?

It's some kind of psych experiment.

Supposed to be really high tech.

- It doesn't sound like anything to be proud of

to me, young man.

It sounds like some sort of disciplinary class

for troublemakers.

- No, dad.

- Dear, they did say it was the best thing

in adolescent psychology.

Who knows, maybe it'll do him some good.

- Yeah, maybe it'll do me some good.

- Couldn't get any worse.

- Maybe they're trying to isolate bad genes.

- You and I have the same genes, you little twerp.

- We do not.

- Mom, do we have the same genes?

- You guys, come on -- - Get out of mine, okay?

You're always giving me a hard time and you --

- Frank. - What?

- Shut up.

Your mother and I are very disappointed in you.

You know, you used to be such a good kid.

I don't know what's happened to you

and I wish you would just...

- Dad, my life is not over yet.

You never know, I might just end up

discovering the cure for cancer.

And then all you guys are gonna have to go on talk shows

and say, "I knew he had it in him."

- Highly unlikely. - I wanna go on TV.

- You just don't appreciate me.

You know, you guys are really lucky.

The Hendersons have a junkie for a son.

- And the Howell son, Calvin, just got accepted to Harvard.

And with Lisa's marks, she'll be able to go

to any college she wants.

- [Mother] Your father's right, dear.

- Yeah, Dad's always right. - Yeah.

- Bye, Dad.

(lips smacking)

(bluesy soft rock music)

Did you get any sleep?

- No.

- Mom lay another guilt trip on you?

- I wish I could trade her in.

- Hey, they're all the same.

(car door slams)

(car engine rumbling)

(tires screeching)

(car engine rumbling)

(Calvin whistles)

- Whoa.

Who are you?

Radio station closed?

Principal Borden is shutting down the student radio station

until further notice, in order that the sound system

may be used by the behavior modification --

- Stop, stop, stop, stop.

- Man, this burns me up, man.

Why are they doing this to us?

- They wanna see bad behavior?

Let's show 'em some. - Yeah, come on.

- Nice job, officer.

Nice hat!

- No calls, Virginia.

No calls.

I don't wanna be disturbed for any reason.

(door bangs)

Battalion!

Company, company.

Atten-hut!

Red, hit!

Forward, huh!

Forward, huh!

Drift, huh!

(students shouting)

(bell ringing)

- All right, this is me, I'll see you guys later.

- No, no, no, no, no.

As student council chairman, I think it's important

that you come in and observe the Guinea pigs.

- All right, but just for a few minutes, you see?

I don't need my behavior modified.

- You wanna make a bet? - Oh great.

No.

(students shouting)

(door slams)

(students shouting)

(door slams)

(students shouting)

(objects slapping)

- That I don't like!

(students shouting)

- Calvin, how much will it cost

for you to rewrite my history report?

- Oh.

That's 9.75.

- 9.75?

- Roy, on your last paper, your spelling was atrocious,

your facts were confused,

and your arguments were completely implausible.

- This is your life line and this is your heart line.

- And if I have to check footnotes,

that will be another 3.50.

- Notes? - No footnotes?

Footnote.

- Look at this, do you know what that means?

- What?

- It means our heart lines touch.

(students shouting)

- Calvin!

(students shouting)

(door slams)

(students shouting)

- You really think this music thing will work?

- There's no question that it works.

The question is how far we choose to take it.

- What do you mean?

- Well, we know that the tonal patterns

slow down their brainwaves. - Mm.

- Thus resulting in less randomly energetic behavior.

- Uh huh.

- What we don't know is how effective it will be

at installing new behavior.

- New behavior? Like what?

- Well, let us say, for example, you wanted

to make the children more respectful to property,

to authority.

- To me? - To anything.

- I'm the principal. - Yes.

- Could you do that? - Yes.

It's possible to enter any number of new hidden commands

into the music, other than the ones that presently exist.

(both laughing)

- Oh, yes.

- [Student] Excuse me, guys.

(students shouting)

- You sure this is gonna work?

- Yes, in precisely 15 minutes,

the tones will automatically go on.

Check back in an hour, I think you'll see a big change.

(students shouting)

Good morning, Mr. Frommer.

- Why did I get chosen for this class?

- You know why.

(students shouting)

(door slams)

- All right, class. - 15 minutes.

(students shouting)

- [Student] Oh, man!

(students shouting)

- Good morning, class. - Wait, wait!

- Please take your seats!

Could we have a little quiet, please?

- Quiet, please! - And get into your seats.

Take your seats now!

(students chattering)

Thank you very much.

Now, as most of you know, I am Mr. Frommer,

and I have been assigned to this special experimental class.

(students chattering)

(desks rattling) (paper slapping)

You wait, you little scumbags.

(student barks)

The worse you behave, the harder it's going to be on you.

- [Students] Ooh!

- Today, we're going to discuss the role government

plays in the private sector.

(students groan)

Open your books to page seven.

- I'm not to be disturbed for anything.

Uh oh.

Dirt bag!

Bandit, bandit!

(principal hums loudly)

(principal imitates guns blasting)

Uh-oh, uh-oh!

Mayday, mayday!

(principal imitates explosion blasting)

Well done, we're on home.

(principal imitates airplane humming)

(principal imitates airplane whooshing)

(principal imitates airplane humming)

Well done, men.

Well done.

- I'm going to be passing out a test now.

(students groaning)

- A test, what are you talking about a test?

This is the first day.

- Ah, this is no ordinary test.

It's purpose is to evaluate your positions

in this class relative to each other.

It's like an SAT test.

(machine rattling mysteriously)

(student hums)

- What do they think this is, a movie theater?

(Crash grunts)

- I just looked in on room 9X1.

You're never gonna believe what's going on in there.

- The children are quietly taking a test.

- The children are quietly taking...

You knew that.

- The disc you're now playing breaks down group mentality.

I think you made an excellent first choice.

- I did? - Yes, sir.

- I did.

Now, tell me again, why am I breaking down group mentality?

- You want to encourage individual competition, don't you?

- Yes, it's the American way.

I used to tell my boys in 'Nam.

I had to say, "Boys, respect teamwork.

But leadership is seized by the competitive individuals!"

I'm sorry, you were saying. - You're right on schedule.

In one week, you'll have these children

treating you with the respect a man

with your experience and leadership deserves.

(principal laughs)

- So tell me, what else can I do with this thing? (laughs)

(soft rock music)

(footsteps thudding)

(soft rock music cont.)

Yes, mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Very good.

- I find it hard to believe,

but test scores are there in black and white.

I guess Dr. Gunbow's program's working.

- My program.

- They're not only obedient, they're polite as well.

- I know.

Today, I had the distinct pleasure,

the extraordinary pleasure of being greeted by name.

Having the door held open for me.

- No kidding.

This really is a breakthrough program.

I'm impressed. - And I've only just begun.

- [Frommer] But what's happening in class 9X1 now?

- I sent Monsieur Zerbo in for his turn.

- What?

You sent the French teacher in?

- Yes. - Isn't that a little risky?

- Risky in what way?

- You better send out for the riot squad.

Those girls have probably eaten him alive by now.

- Perhaps we better have a look.

(tense music)

- Of all languages, French is the most beautiful.

You can say anything in French and it sounds romantic.

(teacher speaking in French)

Romantic, eh?

You know what I said?

- [Student] What?

- Would you like to recharge my battery?

(students laugh)

Let us begin.

Repeat after me, en Francais.

Rosalie, my lips are red.

- Mes lèvres sont rouges.

- I don't believe it.

They're actually learning.

(principal laughs)

- Go ahead.

(teacher chuckles)

My hands are soft.

- Mes mains sont douces.

Hmm, perfect.

(lips smacking)

(body thuds)

(students laugh)

Well, my hair is a lethal weapon.

- Mes cheveux sont une arme mortelle.

Ah, excellent!

(students laugh)

Julie, my eyes are blue.

- My eyes are blue.

- Ah, en Francais.

(Julie speaking in French)

- No, no, no, no, watch my lips.

- Mes yeux sont bleus.

(Julie speaking French badly)

Bleu, bleu.

- Blah.

- Sont bleus.

- Sont bleus.

- Ooh, la, la!

- What? - You said my nuts are blue.

(students laughing)

Which they very well may be, but don't announce it

to the class.

(students laugh)

(foot kicks)

- Young man, place that trash.

And you belong in class.

Ladies, this is a school, not a beauty parlor.

(can hisses)

(students laugh)

(dreamy music)

(monitor humming)

(dreamy music cont.)

I want it faster, quicker.

Can't we have more tones?

- I must remind you that we are

altering neurological patterns.

It wouldn't do to overload them.

- Why not?

- Aren't you pleased with the results we've gotten so far?

- Yes, but they're not changing fast enough.

- Naturally, some children will respond sooner than others,

but that is a key component of this experiment.

- What is? What do you mean?

- We know we can change behavior.

The question is why certain children

respond sooner than others.

Each person's brainwave pattern is slightly different.

So it requires a series of frequency changes to --

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's working fine.

But if we beef it up, it'll work better!

- We are scientists and this is simply an experiment.

We don't want to create a bunch of obedient robots,

now, do we?

- No, of course not.

- How about lunch? - No, thanks.

- I'll be in the cafeteria if you need me.

- You'd have to be crazy to eat there.

(quirky music)

- Who was the fifth president of the United States?

Frankie?

Frankie?

Frankie, will you take oft those headphones?

- What?

- Who was the fifth president of the United States?

- Nixon.

- All right, I don't want anyone wearing any

headphones in this class anymore.

Take them oft.

(energetic rock music)

(students chattering)

- Ow!

(Frankie laughs)

Ow, man, you're pulling out all my hair.

- It was just two strands!

- Girls don't like bald guys.

- Man, this is never gonna work.

We gotta figure out some way to wear these things in class.

- You know, we should just get those kind

that you stick in the ear and wrap 'em around up here,

and down the back of the shirt.

- And down back of the neck, it's a good idea, yeah!

(Frankie beat boxing)

♪ Well, I never knew headphones could be so weird ♪

♪ We wear 'em in the classroom ♪

♪ 'Cause the teachers are a joke ♪

♪ I said we'll wear 'em in the classroom ♪

♪ 'Cause the teacher are a joke ♪

(students beat boxing)

(students laughing)

(footsteps thudding)

- How come they don't include me in rap songs?

You know, I know how to rap.

(Calvin grunts)

♪ Well, some people call me homeboy ♪

♪ 'Cause I wear fake glasses ♪

♪ They say I get good grades ♪

♪ 'Cause I kiss big... ♪

♪ But I know the truth, there is no doubt ♪

♪ I'm going to Harvard, 'cause my father's got ♪

- [Together] Money!

- Clout!

You guys are always squelching me.

What are you squelching me for?

I was gonna say, "clout."

- Oh, come on, it's okay.

It's okay, bud.

(device humming)

- Obedience.

Jackpot.

(monitor buzzing)

(device humming)

(keys clicking)

Increase, I-N-C-R-E-A...

(tense music)

(monitor buzzing)

(button clicks)

(monitor buzzing)

Obedient to whom?

(tense music cont.)

Malcolm Borden.

(monitor buzzing)

Command accepted. (chuckles)

(device humming)

(monitor buzzing)

Delete.

(keys clicking)

(monitor buzzing)

Well.

With all that other good stuff,

I can delete nonviolence.

We don't want to create a bunch of little pacifists, do we?

(keys clicking)

(monitor buzzing) (principal chuckling)

(suspenseful music)

(martial music)

(eerie music)

- Mr. Frommer.

Mr. Frommer!

- What is it? - Roy is cheating.

- I know you and Roy are friends.

What are you trying to pull?

- Honest, I'm telling the truth.

Roy was cheating, I saw it.

- Shut up, you little putz! - What did you call me?

Say it again, what did you call me?

- A putz, a little putz.

(fists slamming)

(tense music)

- Stop it!

All right, Roy, that's enough.

Put him down now!

(body slams)

- He hit me first! - I understand that.

I'm here to help you, okay?

Would you follow me?

(door creaks)

(door slams)

Roy, I'm Dr. Gunbow from the BMR Institute.

- Why did I get dragged out?

He hit me first. - I'm aware of that.

- Okay?

Back to your tests, the excitement's over.

- I've already spoken to Mark.

I'll be seeing each of you individually

for private counseling.

- I don't need any counseling.

- It's not about that.

It's all a part of the program.

(suspenseful music)

- Is this gonna hurt, doc?

No, not a bit.

Gotta get that ear cleaned up though.

Gee, boy, he really got a hold of you there.

Come on in.

(suspenseful music cont.)

- Whoa.

- (chuckles) Here, just have a seat.

You okay?

I'll be right with you, all right?

(suspenseful music cont.)

- For example, when we're walking

through the quarters of the school,

what are some of the things you could be more aware of?

Nikki?

- Keeping our conversation to an appropriate volume.

- Hmm.

Jeanette?

- Principal Borden has asked us not to litter.

This morning, I saw two people throw candy wrappers

in the hall.

And I think that's very disrespectful of our principal.

- Very good, Jeanette.

Very good.

Are either of these two people in our class?

- One is, she's sitting in the back.

- All right, class.

Many of you are doing very well.

(bell rings) (desks clang)

(teacher clears throat)

All right, class, close your books.

Stand beside your desks.

(desks clatter)

Class dismissed.

(tense music)

(door creaks)

(door slams)

(both mock-scream melodramatically)

- Oh, oh, I knew it, I knew it.

Call of the wild.

You know, it wouldn't surprise me

if you two guys turned into werewolves.

- Calvin, stop being so poetic.

You've gotta do something. - About what?

- About all these kids, man!

Perfectly normal kids, man!

And they're acting like...

- Nerds on tranquilizers!

- Hey, hey, you know how I feel about nerd jokes.

- This is no joke. - You gotta do something.

- Well, why do I have to do something?

- Because you're the Harvard genius.

- Oh, correction, Frank.

I am the Kingston High genius.

I have not been in Harvard just yet.

- Whatever.

Sit.

You are the student council president

and we, the students, have a problem!

- A major problem!

- Oh, oh, all of a sudden we, the students, have a problem.

Maybe I should call 60 Minutes.

We must be misinformed.

You can't get students to organize.

It's high school. - Calvin.

- They're apathetic. - Calvin.

- People just -- - Calvin, Calvin!

- What?

- [Together] Shut up!

- That's great.

Okay, I want you to be finished

with what you're doing in 15 minutes.

James, Janelle, I'll be back in 15.

Okay, thanks, guys.

- All this calm stuff is just getting on our nerves, right?

- Right.

- We just need to do something to get wound back up again.

- Yeah.

Like what?

- I don't know.

- What do you mean you don't know?

It was your idea.

- It was your idea. - Yeah, so?

Yeah!

(friends screaming)

(device buzzing)

- Mary, pick that up! - What's your problem?

- Principle Borden said that littering

was a thoughtless behavior

that reduced the human being to the level of animals.

- She's gotta be on the rag.

- Are you gonna pick that up? - Make me.

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

Let go!

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

(intense rock music cont.)

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

(student screams)

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

(footsteps tapping)

(flame whooshes)

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

- Burn, yes, burn!

(flames crackling)

Burn!

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

- Come quick, you gotta stop it.

- What, what is it? - Cat fight!

- [Together] Cat fight?

(Calvin whimpers)

(footsteps thudding)

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

- Burn her!

(device humming) (students shouting)

(eerie music)

- Ladies, everything is under control.

Lana's just fine.

Go back to your work now.

(eerie music cont.)

Come on, we'll go back to my office.

I'll take good care of you, okay?

(eerie music)

- I don't get it.

How could a few notes be melting everyone's mind?

- I'm not certain, but I read where they've done experiments

with putting subliminal commands into music

that changes people's behavior.

- I haven't heard any commands, though.

Just those little tones.

- What do you think subliminal means?

- Well, you know, it has to do with sex drive, right?

- That's libidinal.

- Oh, well, excuse me for living,

Mr. World Book Encyclopedia Britannica.

- Sometimes I don't even know why I hang out with you guys.

- Nobody else will put up with you, four eyes.

- I don't have to take this abuse.

I could be home finishing my paper,

which is due a week from Tuesday.

- A week from Tuesday!

A week from Tuesday, you gotta be kidding me

with a week from Tuesday!

What is this, a week from Tuesday?

- Hey, hey, hey, sit down. - This is ridiculous.

- Sit down.

Crash, shut up!

Would you let the brain talk?

- Fine. (knife clicks)

- So you were saying? - Thank you.

So they found out that you could prevent people

from shoplifting in department stores,

or even make violent prisoners calm down,

just by putting subliminal commands in the music

that the unconscious mind registers

and the conscious mind is totally unaware of.

- It sounds pretty weird.

- I read it in my father's New England Journal of Medicine.

- Did it tell you how to undo it?

- No.

- Well, why bother bringing it up?

- How come it's affecting some of the kids and not us?

- You guys probably didn't even hear it, did you, guys?

You had your headphones on

blasting that crap that Julie listens to all the time.

- Hey, Julie listens to heavy metal.

We listen to rock and roll.

- Oh, oh, oh, excuse me, Mr. Elvis Presley,

king of rock and roll.

I'll make a finer distinction next time.

- You think this is it?

- We should just get everybody to wear headphones.

- Oh, but you can't get everybody to do anything,

right, Crash?

This isn't the '60s, man.

We're apathetic, we don't believe in anything.

You can't organize people.

- Calvin, Calvin, Calvin! - What?

- Shut up.

- Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

The evil men do lives after him.

(footsteps thudding)

It was a grievous fault and grievously

hath Caesar answered it.

(chair legs scratching)

- [Students] Good afternoon, Principal Borden.

(principal chuckles)

(chair legs scratch)

- Julius Caesar, a hero climbed to power

and paused on the summit.

And then the gods, who've grown jealous, strike him down.

Oh.

Do any of you in this class

see anyone in your everyday lives that you...

(principal chuckles) (door creaks)

- It's quite interesting.

They seem to be showing you quite a lot of respect.

- Finally.

- Don't you guys realize you're being brainwashed?

- Dr. Gunbow says my test scores are up 20%.

- Yeah, he said mine were up 25o%.

- They must know what they're doing.

- Yeah, but at what price?

Everybody's been beating the crap out of each other.

They're turning us into Hitler Youth.

- Frankie, you have such a bizarre sense of humor.

You know, I bet you're gonna be on TV someday.

- What? I am not trying to be funny!

- You don't have to try, you just are.

(student laughs)

(chairs clacking)

- You know, maybe if we pretended to be good,

it would speed up the whole experiment.

- But we don't know exactly what the purpose

of the experiment is.

- What's to know?

They're trying to turn us into little Nazis.

(dramatic music)

(locker door slams)

- Hey, hey, hey. - Hey, Roy, lighten up.

Come on.

- He's lucky we didn't break his legs.

- Is it true that he got his girlfriend knocked up?

- Uh huh. - How do you know that?

- My sister's a good friend of hers.

She's probably gonna have to drop out of school.

- If he can't keep it in his pants,

why don't we cut the damn thing oft?

- Right.

Yes, sir!

- Take the guys out and shoot some hoops.

I have some paperwork to do.

- Yes, sir.

All right, boys, you heard the coach.

Out on the floor!

- Yeah ! - All right!

- Fellas, what is going on here?

- I don't like this. - Me neither.

- [Student] Come on.

(students chattering)

Come on, come on!

- [Student] Come on, come on, let's go! Come on!

(students shouting) (basketball thumping)

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

- What a wuss! - Come on!

- [Student] Look at this!

(students shouting) (intense rock music)

- [Student] Come on, kill him!

Kill him!

(students chattering)

- Break it up, boys, what's going on?

Break it up!

- I'll handle this from here, coach.

Steve, Steve, come with me.

I'll take you to my office.

(eerie music)

- Hey, coach.

- How you doing, guys? - Good, good.

- Listen, I want these heads polished.

I want the timing advanced

and I want it back in my car by the end of the week.

(students chuckle)

And wash and wax.

(students laughing)

All right.

- All right, give me a screwdriver.

That's not a screw --

What is your problem, man?

You're acting like a zombie.

- I'm just trying to figure out what's going on here.

- What's to figure out?

First, they steal our radio station

and now they're stealing our minds.

- Well, maybe we should steal the discs.

- Yep.

- Calvin, what do you say?

- Well, I say there's a definite relationship.

- Between what?

- Between the shutting down of the student radio station

and the new music they've been playing.

Otherwise, otherwise, why would they be playing new music

and piping it in only into one classroom?

- Wait, there has got to be something else

going on in those notes.

I say we steal the discs.

Hey, there's Steve.

- Oh, man, he looks great.

- That is a medical impossibility.

That guy was destroyed not two hours ago.

- Steve, buddy, how's it going, man?

- Can't complain. - But you were...

- Yeah, rough practice today.

- Oh, man, this is getting all too weird for me, man.

- Today. We grab those discs today.

I'm in. - I'm in.

(hands clap)

- Calvin, what do you say?

- I'm in. - All right.

- (groans) Sorry.

You want a screwdriver?

(tense, quirky music)

- Shh!

Okay, okay, so you know what you're doing, right?

- Give me a break, Frankie.

I'm not a total klutz.

- Okay, okay, go ahead, go ahead.

(quirky music cont.) (shoes clack)

- Ow, ow, my ankle!

- You all right, miss? - No.

- You better go to the nurse's office.

- I really don't think I can make it by myself.

Can you take me?

- Well, I guess.

- Whoo, that your gun?

- Yes, miss.

(quirky music cont.)

- Okay, how we gonna get in?

- Calvin, pick the lock.

- I'm not gonna pick the lock, you pick the lock.

- I can't pick the lock.

Let's get Frankie.

He can pick anything.

- Guys, I don't have the right stuff to pick the...

(device humming) (suspenseful music)

Look at the equipment.

This is what they're playing. - Oh my God.

(Calvin laughs nervously)

- Hey, look at this. - What is it?

Shh.

How come my name's at the bottom of the list?

- Maybe it's in order of intelligence.

- No, if it was in order of intelligence,

then your name would be at the bottom.

- Whatever.

- Shh!

- Look, Waverly Focker, Julie Freeman is next.

- You are so strong.

I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't been there.

(quirky music)

I don't know what happened.

I mean, I just slipped.

- Why have you left your post?

- Well, this young lady slipped and twisted her ankle.

All right, she could walk -- - Okay, thank you, George.

I'll handle this, okay?

Thank you very much, okay.

What happened?

- I just twisted my ankle.

- Oh, gee.

(tense music)

Is it okay?

- Yeah.

- Is it better? - Feels good.

- It's Shiatsu.

It's from the Far East.

You see, you have meridian lines that start at your toes

and run along your leg, all the way

connecting at your ears.

And these points, by pressing on them, relieve tension,

stress, pain, anxiety.

- I can hear somebody coming.

(device humming)

- Come on, let's go.

Come on, Calvin.

- [Calvin] This is the master.

- Come on, Calvin. - This is the master!

- Come on!

(students chattering)

(upbeat music)

- Let's go.

- No, I'll see them later.

I told Jeanette I'd come and study with her.

- Study?

Julie, Julie!

Julie. (whistles)

Julie.

(eerie music)

- I don't hear anything.

- Is that all it is, a bunch of tones?

- I don't think we should listen to these things.

- But there must be something

beside the tones we haven't heard.

- I don't think we should be listening to them.

- Crash, cool your jets.

Man, you gotta start getting some sleep at night.

- My sleeping has nothing to do with this, all right?

I just don't see any point in listening

to a bunch of noises!

- Fine!

- There must be something on them we haven't heard yet.

- Yeah, something to turn us into a bunch of normal brains.

I'm stopping it now.

- Crash, what is your problem?

- What's my problem?

What's your problem? - My problem?

(people shouting)

- Hey, stop, stop, stop, stop it, stop it!

Stop it.

Come on, come on, we'll just stop listening, okay?

I mean, maybe we shouldn't be listening to them.

I mean, we really don't know what's on them, right?

How about if I take home the master disc

and put it on my sound analyzer?

Okay? - Okay, fine.

Maybe there'll be something on that one

that'll tell us something.

- Yeah.

All right, okay, I'll go, fine,

but I don't want to use the window.

Can I use the front door?

- Yeah, go ahead. - All right, thank you.

All right, all right, I'll see you tomorrow.

Take it easy, get some sleep.

The two of you, get some sleep.

- Go. (sighs)

(suspenseful music)

- I was beginning to worry about you, man.

- About me?

- Yeah.

- Geez, what is going on here?

- You see, you cannot trust them.

They looked perfectly normal, but they're rotten inside.

- Not all of them.

It was probably two or three

of the more resistant individuals who took the discs.

- I want them back, I want them now.

- We'll get them back. - How?

We don't even know who took them.

- We'll ask.

- Oh, that's a good one.

We just go in and ask the thieves to confess.

- We use it as an opportunity to teach the rest of the class

something of self-government and citizen regulation.

It fits perfectly with what they're learning already

in classroom 9X1.

- Let's act.

- In Tibet, there are stories of a legendary kingdom,

which was this place of prosperity

governed by wise rulers.

In general, this could be referred to as a model society.

The name of this place was Shambhala.

And Frankie.

What was the dominant religion in Shambhala?

- Buddhism? - Correct.

- Yeah! (hands clap)

- Good morning, Mr. Frommer.

Sorry to interrupt you.

We are going to perform an interesting little experiment

in self-government to go along with your studies.

Apparently, some of you broke into my office

and removed some discs.

- And I want them back immediately!

- So we're going to break into groups of two.

You're each going to assume

that you're personally responsible for finding the person

who violated the boundaries of personal property.

Consider this, if these individuals felt they had the right

to take something from your principal, what might they then

assume they have the right to take from you?

(eerie music)

Your money? Maybe your car?

Perhaps your girlfriend or boyfriend.

I'll return the class to you, Mr. Frommer.

- Thank you, Dr. Gunbow.

All right, class.

Why don't we break into groups of two

and we'll begin the questioning.

Without an acceptance or respect for private property,

we are reduced to control by the rebels.

We are in a state of anarchy.

- Where were you?

- Me, I was nowhere around the school at the time.

- How can I be sure you're telling the truth?

- Because I have too much respect for our principal

and the program he has initiated to interfere, okay?

- There's no doubt about it.

I saw her in front of the office.

- You? - Me?

- For sure, you were there,

and you even told me to get away.

- What are you accusing me for? It was you!

- Where were you last night?

- I was with you. - Uh huh.

- Where were you?

- Well, I was with you.

- You were the one that wasn't in class.

Where were you, huh?

- I was so in class. - Oh, you were in class?

What about when you stepped out

for five minutes, where'd you go?

- I didn't step out for five minutes.

- Yeah, right. - Yeah, you're dreaming.

- Did you steal those discs?

- What?

Me? How can you ask me such a thing?

Did you steal those discs?

- Me?

Does this look like the face of a disc thief to you?

- Well, I guess that about wraps up our interrogation.

- Yeah, I guess it just about does.

- This is just great.

They're all such goo die two shoes.

Who knows what the real McCoy is?

- That is not the purpose of the exercise.

- It's not? - Of course not.

I already know who took the tapes.

- You what?

So what was the Perry Mason routine about in there?

- [Gunbow] It's all a part of the experiment.

- I must know who took those tapes!

(quirky music)

- Bismarck was determined to remove, by diplomacy and war,

whatever stood in the way of German unification.

(knocking on door)

Come in.

(suspenseful music)

Frank Lawrence, Charles Hopkins, wake up.

Mr. Borden wants to see you in his office right now.

(suspenseful music cont.)

- This will probably ruin your chances

for getting into Harvard.

And imagine how breaking and entering

is gonna look on job applications.

- Mr. Borden, what makes you think we took 'em?

- Cut the crap!

I have a witness.

- Mr. Principal Borden, sir, I think if we discuss

this matter further, I'm sure that we could --

- There's nothing to discuss!

You took my discs, I want them back instantly!

- We don't have them.

I mean, they're not here.

We could bring 'em back tomorrow.

- Did you show them to anyone? - No, sir, no, sir.

- No. - Right.

Ten o'clock, the auditorium.

If you don't show up, I will press charges.

And not a word to anyone!

- No, no. - No, sir, no, sir.

- Scouts honor, sir.

(principal sighs)

Man, how the hell did he find out that we took the disc?

- I don't know, somebody must have snitched on us.

- There was nobody there, it was just the three --

- Wait!

Not another step further!

Let me see your hall pass! - We don't have no pass.

- What?! No pass?!

You must clear the hallway immediately!

- Sam, calm down. - No, I have my instructions.

No pass? No pass?

- Okay, Sam.

Okay, okay, we're going, we're going.

I vote we get the hell out of here.

- I second that motion.

(footsteps thudding) (students shouting)

- I'm gonna try to crack the security code

on that master disc at my father's office.

We gotta find out about Dr. Gunbow once and for all.

- Okay, great. - Come on, let's go.

I'm freezing.

- Okay, my house, eight o'clock.

- All right, I'll be there. - Okay.

- Okay.

(energetic rock music)

(car engine revving)

(car door slamming)

(car engine rumbling)

(darts thumping)

(magazine slaps)

- It's nine o'clock, man, where is he?

- I don't know, Calvin's never late.

- I know. Maybe he's dead, or worse.

Maybe he's become one of them.

- He'll be here, Crash, calm down.

See, you see?

(Calvin groans)

- Fellas, you're not gonna believe what happened to me.

In your life, you're not gonna believe this.

Oh, it's unbelievable.

Do I have unbelievable news.

This is the most unbelievable thing

I've ever heard of in my life.

I cannot believe this.

When I tell you guys, you are gonna freak out.

- Calvin, tell us! - All right, all right.

I called Harvard, which is where Dr. Gunbow

claims to have gotten his degree from.

There's no record of him. - What?

- Not only that.

I called the Behavior Modification Research Institute.

And there is no Dr. Gunbow.

Not now, not ever.

- Well, this guy's a real loony tune.

- No, no, he's a very high tech loony tune.

Now, I wasn't able to break the code entirely,

but what I figured out is that we're dealing here

with some kind of implants.

- [Together] Implants?

- Implants.

Now, what I'm thinking -- - Wait, wait, wait, wait.

All those private conferences

that Gunbow's been having in his office,

when you think about it, everybody that is freaked out

has had one of those private conferences.

- So the implants are something

that we can't hear is putting the brain into beta!

- What the hell is beta?

- Beta's a brainwave pattern in which the mind goes

into a state of trance, making you more susceptible

to suggestions that the conscious mind

is totally unaware of.

- Oh, man, I really don't like this.

- So what we have to do is get the brain out of beta!

- Oh, great, how do we get 'em out

and we don't even know how they got in?

- Frankie, you go in and out of beta all the time.

What do you think TV trance is?

That's when advertisers count on you --

- I really don't like this.

- Crash, leave him alone.

Calvin, how do we get them out of beta?

- There are lots of ways.

You have to put the brain into a higher frequency.

Peak athletic performance, loud rock music, pre orgasm.

- I got it, we'll just get everybody to jerk oft!

- That's it! - Yeah!

- That's it?

- No, no, no, no!

We'll blast loud rock music through the school halls!

That would do it, right? - That would do it.

But the radio station has been completely rewired!

- Well, we'll just have to break in again

and you'll have to re-rewire it!

- Right. - No, no way.

I'm not risking Harvard.

No, forget it. - You get the discs.

We'll plan it in the car.

Come on, come on.

- No, Frankie, forget it.

Crash, forget it.

I'm not going, no, I'm not breaking in.

I'm not risking Harvard.

My parents are counting on me.

I have a trust fund.

I am not gonna blow this.

No, forget it, no way. (groans)

Front door.

(footsteps thudding)

(students humming)

Shh!

Shh!

Will you cut it out?

Just stop, all right? Stop, stop it.

Okay, I'm going to the radio station.

I will meet you as soon as I can.

- Okay, okay, we'll cover for you.

- Okay. - Good luck.

(lips smacking)

(hands clapping)

(Frankie laughs)

- Let's do it. (laughs)

(quirky, upbeat music)

(suspenseful music)

Borden?

(footsteps thudding)

Mr. Borden?

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

- He's not here.

I knew he wouldn't show up.

(suspenseful music cont.)

- We should order pizza.

- You're late.

(bodies thudding)

Where's Calvin? - He's coming.

- Give me my disc.

- Mr. Borden, we have to talk to you.

- About Dr. Gunbow. - To hell with Dr. Gunbow!

Give me the discs!

- They're here, they're here!

Mr. Borden, we called the Behavior

Modification Research Institute.

They have no Dr. Gunbow and they've never heard of him.

- And Harvard never heard of him either.

- We think he's doing some kind of implants.

Did you check up on him?

No?

- You gotta listen to this stuff.

I think we're dealing with a real wacko.

- Yeah. - Are you sure about this?

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

Calvin checked on it.

(door rattles)

(door clicks)

(lips smacking)

- Never leave home without it.

- My, aren't we up late?

- The Behavior Modification Research Institute

claims they have no Dr. Gunbow.

Harvard says the same. - Yes.

- Yes, what? - Yes, that's true.

- And who the hell are you and what are --

- I am performing an experiment.

- What kind of an experiment and who for?

- If we can learn to control the minds

of rebellious high school students,

we can control the minds of anyone.

- What are you talking about?

- It's not a difficult concept.

He who controls the youth, controls the world.

That fact has repeated itself throughout your history.

You boys never came to see me.

But now, you must realize you're next.

- You're never gonna get us.

- Oh, but we will.

- Take your best shot, Slim.

- You two will be quite valuable.

I have not understood why it's taken you so long to respond.

But we will. - What is this we?

- You boys are smart.

Haven't you figured it out?

- [Together] What?

- I'm an alien.

- (laughs) What do you mean?

You mean to tell me you're from Mexico?

(Frankie laughs)

- Mr. Borden?

(suspenseful music)

Oh, God.

Let's get the hell out of here.

- Yeah.

- Where is the master disc?

It's of no use to you. - We don't have it.

(Crash screams)

Let him go, man!

Let him go!

- I'm not telling this wetback anything, man!

- Where is it?

(Crash screams)

Where is it?

- Leave him alone.

Ah!

Okay, I'll tell ya.

Calvin's got it.

He's gonna be here in a second.

Now let him go!

- Fine, we'll wait.

(quirky music)

(objects rattling)

(quirky music cont.)

- Look, Julie!

Julie, run, run!

- Oh, man, this really sucks!

- Geez, they already got Julie.

- That was something Spock would do, man.

That thing's a Vulcan!

- It's painless, I can assure you.

(quirky music)

This simple implant goes into the inner ear canal

and regulates the vibrational speed of the auditory nerves.

- Oh, God!

- This way, messages in the subliminal tones

can bypass the conscious mind

and go directly into the unconscious.

(tense music)

- Oh, damn, that needle's longer than my...

No!

(Calvin hyperventilating)

(sparks crackling)

(sparks crackling)

(footsteps thudding)

- Find them, they must not escape!

(footsteps thudding)

- Get the hell out of here!

It's locked.

Come on.

(students shouting)

(footsteps thudding) (suspenseful music)

- What's Calvin doing, that's not the right music.

- Quick, put on your headphones.

(heavy metal music plays)

(footsteps thudding)

(heavy metal music cont.)

(students shouting)

(students shouting)

(student groans) (sticks whacks)

- [Student] Come on!

(students shouting) (objects crashing)

(heavy metal music cont.)

(students shouting)

(sticks bang) (heavy metal music cont.)

(sticks bang)

- [Frankie] Oh, we gotta get out of here!

(sticks bang)

Crash!

Watch for the ceiling!

Oh, God!

They're breaking in, man!

(Crash groans)

(sticks bang) (heavy metal music cont.)

Come on!

- [Crash] Come on!

(heavy metal music continues)

(sticks bang)

- [Frankie] Come on, get in the car!

(students shout) (heavy metal music cont.)

- Go! Drive, drive, drive!

(sticks bang)

Get us out of here!

(tires screeching)

(student shouts)

(tires screeching) (student groaning)

Go, go, come on! Let's get out, go, go, go!

Go!

(students shout) (heavy metal music cont.)

(lockers crash)

(students shout)

(metal rods clang)

- Man, we gotta get to that radio station.

- Let's go. - Julie!

(Frankie groans)

(Crash groans)

(Julie grunts)

(Frankie grunts)

Oh, man, I never hit a girl before!

- Calvin always said she was a knockout.

- Oh, Crash!

(hands banging)

(suspenseful music)

(footsteps thudding)

(principal grunts)

(books thud)

Come on, come on!

Come on!

(principal grunts)

(suspenseful music cont.)

(hands banging)

(students shout)

- Calvin, man, Calvin!

You're not gonna believe with this space man, man!

You're not gonna believe it.

- Calvin, where the hell have you been?

Calvin, man. - Come on, man.

We gotta fly! - Stop!

No one's to enter, I have my orders!

- Not again.

- Okay, man, it's your turn,

'cause I had to hit Julie.

- All right. - You hit Julie!

Julie, Julie, come back!

- He hit Julie. - Well, thanks a lot!

Calvin, man, calm down, man.

- Julie!

- He didn't hit her that hard.

He had no choice, man. - Yeah, yeah.

Calm down, Calvin. - Hey, Julie!

- Man, this is going nowhere.

Calvin, Calvin, Calvin!

- What?

- [Together] Shut up!

(banging)

(lockers crashing)

- Calvin, Calvin, what about -- wait, wait.

Think about all the bad things you've been doing, okay?

Okay, do you remember any of that?

- You hit Julie!

- Okay, what about when you were drinking alcohol

and writing term papers for other students?

How would Dr. Gunbow feel about that, huh?

- Nah!

- What about having sex with Julie, man, in the library?

Ancient sexual rituals.

In the library, remember that?

- Yeah, yeah, what about stealing discs, huh, huh?

In fact, in fact, you even broke into this radio station

that you are now guarding.

How does that make you feel? Huh, huh?

- I did that? - Yes, you did.

- I failed.

- Yeah. - Yeah, you did.

- It's no big deal. - But it's okay.

- But then I'm not worthy of the responsibility.

- Well, yeah.

- You'd like a response?

- No, don't!

(students grunting)

(gunshots blasting)

(tense music)

(students grunting)

- What are we gonna do now, man?

- [Frankie] I hope this works.

- Ah, ah!

Ah, ah!

Ah, ah!

(rock music plays)

Why are you guys blasting that crap into my ears?

It's ruining my brain cells!

(students cheer)

- Come on, man. - Come on!

I think we got a good surprise for the good doctor.

Come on.

- Hey, is this heavy metal or rock and roll?

- Shut up.

(footsteps thudding)

- Excellent work, Calvin.

Where is my master disc?

- We don't have it. - I want it now! Now!

- I've got it. - Give it to me.

- I've got it. - Give it to me!

Now!

- Here. - No!

- Now!

(gunshot blasts)

- [Together] One, two, one, two, three, four!

Let's rock and roll!

Yeah!

(hard rock music blaring)

- Yeah!

- Whoa, yeah!

(rock music cont.)

Come on, let's go, let's go! - Go, go, go, go, go, go!

- [Crash] Come on, let's go!

- What are you all doing here?

To your classes, to your classes!

(rock music cont.)

(footsteps thudding)

(device beeping)

- [Computer] Seek ammunition.

(tense music)

- It was never our intent to harm you.

We will meet again.

(Gunbow laughs)

(tense music)

- I wish you hadn't given him that disc, Frankie.

- Who says I did?

- All right!

(energetic rock music)

♪ I can't get out of my head ♪

♪ People think that I'm crazy ♪

♪ I can't get out of my bed ♪

♪ People think that I'm lazy ♪

♪ I'm just a jock and I'm making some cosmic sweat ♪

♪ What can I do? ♪

♪ It's a mind bender ♪

♪ Ah, it's a mind bender now, baby ♪

♪ I'm mellow with the jello ♪

♪ I'm high with the fries ♪

♪ Look out for the kraut ♪

♪ Not cry with the pie ♪

♪ I can do the mash potato and the gravy all night ♪

♪ I'm in a food fight, food fight ♪

♪ Patty chew fatty ♪

♪ Macaroni and cheese ♪

♪ Rice pudding with a spoon ♪

♪ Whipped cream, if you please ♪

♪ I can do the mash potato and the gravy all night ♪

♪ I'm in a food fight, food fight ♪

♪ Throw the pickle, throw the lettuce ♪

♪ Special on us, all this on us ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I can do the mash potato and the gravy all night ♪

♪ I'm in a food fight, food fight ♪

♪ Have a jello in a shower ♪

♪ Pork chop and roast duck ♪

♪ Get ready for spaghetti ♪

♪ Baked beans with the toast ♪

♪ I can do the mash potato and the gravy all night ♪

♪ I'm in a food fight, food fight ♪

♪ I can do the mash potato and the gravy all night ♪

♪ I'm in a food fight, food fight ♪

♪ Food fight, food fight ♪