Original subtitles

[GONG SOUNDS]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

What's that?

A rabbit's foot, of course.

[PHONE RINGS]

Yep?

- It's for you. - Oh, thanks.

Hello?

Yes, well, just write the usual letter.

And you'd better start thinking about a replacement.

[GENERAL CHATTER]

Just a moment. I think we've a job for you.

There must be a mistake. My name is Whistler; Nicholas Whistler.

Oh, that's right. Interview tomorrow morning, 9 o'clock.

But... you can't have a job for me.

I'm a writer. It says so in my passport.

Well, you know the regulation...

...any job you're qualified for you've got to go for.

Otherwise you lose your unemployment benefit.

Right?

You seem to know. What is it?

A firm of glass manufacturers; trainee executive.

Trainee executive? Me?! That's ridiculous.

Yes.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

Queen to bet.

How long's this game going on for? I was going to do some more work tonight.

I thought you'd given up writing in favour of industry?

Oh, not on your life. Two and six.

I fold.

I'll see that.

Hey, Nick, um...

...how'd you get on with that bird I saw you with in Finch's?

Watch it, Fred, he's a bit touchy on that subject.

Oh, shut up.

When he finally got round to chatting her up she says she's 'not feeling it.'

'Not feeling it'?!

Lorna is a great girl; a fine background.

She's got a brother in the Navy, an account at Harrods...

...and the longest legs in Earls Court.

She's been coming round here twice a day ever since.

She says she's going to try to 'release the springs of his creative talent'.

She's here now.

LORNA: Ahem.

Have a nice bath, dear?

Mm, divine, thanks.

And don't start moaning about the mess because I've cleaned up absolutely everything.

I'll bet, er... ten.

You really are going mad tonight, aren't you?

He can afford it. He's got the love of a good woman...

...and he's going after a job in the morning.

Executive in one of Britain's great industrial empires.

He'll be nursing the fortunes of thousands of honest little investors.

All for about seven quid a week, I imagine.

It'll ruin your creative talent.

Oh, belt up.

Well, they'll have you writing advertising copy for electric lightbulbs or...

goldfish bowls, or something.

It's the first step on the downward path.

There's nothing to actually say I've got to get the job, is there?!

Good morning, sir. Can I help you?

Um, I think I've got an appointment with a Mr, um...

...Cunliffe, or something... I don't know.

You must be Mr Whistler.

I believe I must be, mm.

- Mr Cunliffe was expecting you earlier. - Was he? Mm.

Mm. I'll find out if he can see you now.

There's a Mr Whistler to see you, sir.

Wheel him in.

Thank you.

Ah, Mr Whistler. I'm so glad you could get here.

Well, now, you're interested, are you, in this little opening of ours?

Well, I don't know what it is yet, do I?

Glass, Mr Whistler; glass.

Oil may be the substance on which our civilisation runs...

...but glass is what enables us to see where we're going.

Or, as in the case of a driving mirror, where we came from. [LAUGHS]

I don't suppose you're aware of the vast technological advances that have been made in our field?

No, I don't suppose I am.

Do you realise we are now in a position to construct a car entirely from glass?

Wheels, moving parts, the engines - the entire car?

Be a bit difficult to see it coming, wouldn't it?

Yes, well, that's my side of it, isn't it?

Now, then, tell me about yourself.

Where did you go to school?

Well, you know, here and there... no particular school at all, really.

A varied background. Well, I like a boy who's been through the mill.

Now, what about military service?

Well, I was very lucky about that.

I, er... [LAUGHS]...I managed to get out of it.

You don't like the military life?

Oh, no. I'm a frightful coward.

Well, we're not all cut out to be soldiers, are we?

The Labour Exchange tells me you speak a bit of Czech. Is that correct?

Well, I was born there... in Prague.

A delightful city. But you're British now, of course?

I'm British now.

You're a writer?

Well... I try.

Anything published?

Not recently, actually - no.

The public's not quite ready for you, I expect.

Never mind. You seem just the sort of chap who'd fit in here.

I do?

Oh, yes.

We've interviewed a lot of chaps for this job, you know...

...and none of them seem to have the imaginative type of mind we're looking for.

I don't see why you shouldn't fit in and go right to the top.

There are openings all the time, you know.

What're you prepared to pay while I'm waiting for these 'openings'?

Oh, I suppose you'd pull in about £2,000 a year.

Forty qui- [COUGHS] forty... forty quid a week...?

Yes... that's right. With expenses, of course.

It's really very reasonable, isn't it?

Yes... well, why don't you mull it over during the weekend, and then come and see us, hm?

If you think you'd like the job I'm sure we could start you off.

Yes, all right, um... [CLEARS THROAT]

Well, I-I-I'll see you on Monday, then...

Shall we say ten o'clock?

Fine.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Well, what do we make of him?

Well, he doesn't seem a very keen type, does he?

D'you suppose he's reliable?

Well, I'll get someone to do a security check on him over the weekend, but... after all...

...it's only a one-off job, isn't it?

I mean, he's nothing more than a courier, really.

Yes, I suppose so. Still...

...I'd be a lot happier if he'd been to a... decent school.

[INTERCOM BUZZES] Yes?

I'm holding a call from the Russian Embassy for you, sir.

Very naughty of them to use this number. They're not supposed to know it. All right, put it through.

Shall I put it through the scrambler, sir?

I should've thought this was one of the few occasions when we want them to try and understand what we're saying.

Hello? Yes?

Oh, yes.

Do svidaniya to you, too.

I've never heard of him. Who?

Oh, did you? Oh, well, that's good.

Thank you so much for letting us know.

Goodbye!

Bloody show-offs.

- They've pulled in another of our chaps. - Who've they got?

Carruthers - Romania.

Romania... Dee-de-Dee-de-Dee-de-Dee...

Yes, all right - I know.

Shall we inform the PM?

I should think he's got enough on his plate.

We'd better arrest one of theirs, otherwise they'll think we're losing face.

The trouble is, we don't seem to be able to keep track of them like we used to.

They're getting very thin on the ground, aren't they?

Well, what about that one all on its own up there?

Well, there's a bit of an argument about him.

We've always maintained he's one of theirs, but the chaps at the War Office say he's one of ours.

Perhaps you'd better leave him where he is for the moment.

Don't worry. I'll take care of that.

- You'd better go ahead and get a replacement for Carruthers. - Right.

- Shall I put in the usual trip to the Ministry. - Yes.

By the way, they got at poor Carruthers through some woman he'd taken up with.

You might try to find someone who's not quite so susceptible in that direction, will you?

Right.

On the other hand, don't lean too far in the other direction, either. [BLOWS KISS]

Ah, good morning, Mr Whistler.

My secretary tells me that you've decided to join us.

I must say, that's a very wise decision.

Thank you.

Won't you go in?

I'd like you to meet one of your new colleagues.

Roger, I want you to meet Nicholas Whistler, who's joining us today.

This is Mr Allsop, our Personnel Manager.

How do you do.

Nice to have you with us.

Thank you very much.

Shall we all sit down?

Thank you.

I expect you're wondering what you're going to do here for the first few weeks.

Well, yes, I am rather.

Well, it's a bit of luck, you know, your joining us just now.

- Mr Jones- - Who?

Mr Jones - our Sales Manager. Well, really, you'll forget your own name next!

Oh, yes...

Our Mr Jones is off to Prague and doesn't speak a word of Czech. I thought perhaps you'd like to go along.

To Prague?

Yes. There's no personal reason that prevents you from travelling, is there?

Oh, no, no, no, no... Indeed, on the contrary.

Fine.

But isn't Prague behind the... the thing? You know---

Behind the Iron Curtain and all that sort of rot?

Oh, yes, but we still trade with those countries, you know.

Mind you, the government doesn't advertise the fact.

But they realise it has to happen. Don't worry about that.

The chaps at the Czech State Glass Factory will welcome you with open arms, won't they Roger?

Oh, yes! I imagine you'll have an absolutely gorgeous time. [LAUGHS]

When do you want me to leave?

After lunch.

After lunch?

W-w-well, what about visas and things, and, um...

Oh, that's all taken care of. We apply for them on a sort of...

...block-booking basis, you know. Just fill in the details.

You've got a passport, of course?

Yes.

Well now, before I forget, you'll need some expenses.

Let me see, you'll be there for a couple of days.

You'd better have a hundred pounds.

If you want any more, just ask our Mr Jones.

Oh, yes, of course...

Well, now, I expect you've got some packing you'd like to do.

Why don't you go and do that, then come back after lunch?

About what time?

About 2.15.

I say, you seem to have quite a lot of agents on the Continent!

- Yes, we prefer to call them our 'representatives'. - Ah.

We're in quite a big way of business, you know... this is no fly-by-night organisation that you've joined.

- Bye. - Bye.

Oh, Whistler...?

You don't by any chance speak Romanian, do you?

Romanian? No.

Well, it was just a thought.

It's quite safe to drink the water, but I should be very careful of the local gin.

Look, Cunliffe, you might've given me a proper briefing.

Who on earth's our sales manager and what's he supposed to be doing in Prague?

I'm sorry, old chap - I dreamt Jones up on the spur of the moment.

Thought our young friend might be a bit reluctant to go off on his own.

Don't worry, when he comes back I'll scrub Jones.

By the way, you really ought to get a padlock for this blind, you know.

It might've spoilt the whole thing.

I mean, look at it, dear.

You look after Lorna. Ciao!

Afternoon.

Here you are. We thought you might be late.

Mr Cunliffe's waiting for you, sir.

Oh... I'll leave these things here, if I may.

Ah, there you are, Whistler. Just in time for a glass of port. Pull up a chair.

Good afternoon, Whistler.

Good afternoon.

I'm afraid there's been a bit of a hitch.

- Smith can't make it. - Smith?

Yes, our sales manager.

Ah, Jones.

That's right - Smith-Jones, yes. His wife phoned.

He's got a touch of the flu. I hope he'll be able to join you in a day or two.

Oh, n-no, thank you... you mean I have to go alone?

Yes. I don't think there'll be any complications.

It's really in the nature of a courtesy call.

You'll be meeting a Mr Galushka.

He's the manager of the State Glass Company. He's a charming fellow.

They've promised to let us have a little information about a new process they're working on.

I see.

Yes, there's just one thing that might be a little bit tricky...

Do you remember my telling you that the government doesn't like us to advertise our trading arrangements with these countries?

Of course, they have exactly the same trouble their side of the fence, you know.

They like to make a bit of a mystery of it. Passwords, and all that sort of thing.

You may find they won't want to give us the information we're looking for direct...

...they prefer to slip it into the pages of a little book.

Well, it's politics, really, isn't it?

Not letting your left hand know what your right hand does.

You mean I have to hand this to, um...

...a Mr Galushka, or whatever his name is...

...and he just slips the information inside?

A sort of East-West co-operation without a word being said...?

Well, no, no - it's not quite as simple as that, you see.

It may not be Galushka.

Well, I mean that's where the password comes in, doesn't it?

You must be certain you're speaking to the right person, so you have to...

...slip the password into the conversation.

What password?

You're quite right.

'Hot enough for June.'

And the reply?

Reply?!

Well, yes - so I know I'm speaking to the right man.

Oh, yes...

'Ah, but you should've been here last September.'

'It's hot enough for June'... 'Ah, but you should've been here last September.'

That's right. [DOOR OPENS]

I've confirmed your flight reservation.

And here's your ticket.

Thank you, very much.

Well, let's see that Mr Whistler gets to the airport safely.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Terrible business, this.

Hm?

This fellow they've jailed as a spy.

Yes, but I expect he knew what he was letting himself in for, don't you?

D'you think so?

[MILITARY MUSIC]

Good evening. Mr Whistler - I believe you've got a reservation for me?

Oh... Oh, yes, Mr Whistler. Room 47.

Take the gentleman's bag up, please.

- May I have your passport, please? - Oh, yes.

Have there been any messages for me?

No, I don't think so... were you expecting something in particular?

Um, no... I just wondered if there was something, that's all.

There's nothing.

[STREET NOISE]

Good evening, sir.

I am Joseph, your floor waiter.

I have a message for you.

- Oh, thank you very much. - It just arrived.

Thank you.

Will you require anything else - a glass of beer, perhaps?

Er, no, not at the moment, thank you.

Do you plan to make a long stay?

Well, I really don't know yet.

Well, I hope you will do good business. We need the businessmen back here.

Well, you seem pretty full.

Ah, delegations.

It's a different class of people, sir. It's not like the old days.

Tipping is a product of the capitalist system. It no longer has a place in our way of life.

I see.

If you should require me you have only to ring, sir. The name is Joseph.

Thank you.

Mr Whistler?

Yes.

I'm Vlasta Simenova, your driver and guide.

I'm to be totally at your service.

How nice. Thank you very much.

Er... do you mind if I sit in the front with you?

I'm not a commissar or anything!

We no longer have commissars in the socialist countries.

Oh, what did you do? Shoot them all?

You won't drive very fast, will you, because I frighten easily.

The transition from commissars to more democratic types of officials...

...was a natural process of socialism.

Shooting was unnecessary.

How nice.

[TENSE MUSIC]

You are going to see Mr Galushka, the director?

Yes, I think so.

Vicek, his assistant, will take you. In there.

Thank you.

I will come for you, then, at four.

Will you?

Yes.

Thank you.

Of course, this is the merest outline.

Mr Galushka will tell you much more.

He is the architect of our industry.

A brilliant man, but not, perhaps, the easiest man to get on with.

Ah! Good morning, Mr Whistler! Good morning.

Mr Whistler has come especially from England to see Zapotocky Glassworks.

Really? Oh. I thought he was a spy.

Come on, sit down, Mr Whistler. Sit down.

Well now, what do you want to know?

We are at your service.

Vicek, have you confirmed with the canteen about our lunch?

But... w-wasn't it all arranged?

That's what I'm asking you to find out.

Yes. Yes, of course.

He's a useful little insect, but not as intelligent as he might be.

I must admit, I feel more at ease when he's not about.

Now, what is it you particularly wish to see?

Uh, well... erm, n-nothing particularly.

M-Mr Jones, our sales manager, will probably decide...

...what he wants to see when he arrives.

You're expecting him?

Yes... aren't you?

No.

Oh...

...it's probably a misunderstanding on our side.

Evidently. Yes, I think we can show you everything you could possibly wish to see.

Well, that's very kind of you...

...I'm sure the people on our side will be very grateful for this co-operation.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

Well, I certainly seem to have brought the weather with me, haven't I?

The weather?

Yes - I mean... it's almost... h-hot enough for June... isn't it?

You think so?

Well, considering the time of year.

Well, yes... it's an interesting way of looking at it.

We go?

Yes.

Er, what are your feelings about the new...

...continuous rolling machinery they've installed in England?

I think it's a good thing. I think it's a very good thing.

Mr Whistler - may I see your guide book?

Mr Pravelko is our research director.

Thank you.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

Thank you. It's a very good guide book.

Czechoslovakia is a beautiful country, is it not?

Yes, it's very pretty. Very pretty indeed.

Well, we must continue our tour. Mr Galushka is waiting.

He's arranged a demonstration.

[TENSE MUSIC]

It's really very warm, isn't it?

Yes.

Hot enough for June.

Is it?

An entirely new process, developed by our comrade from East Germany here...

Freut Mich.

...has enabled us to make this revolutionary unbreakable glass.

But surely there's nothing new in that?

You're going to say there's nothing new - yes, true.

Bullet-proof and amour-plated glass has been known for a long time.

But previously it has been of great thickness...

...and considerable weight.

Observe, please.

Permit me, Herr Doktor.

Certainly, Herr Direktor.

Now, this glass...

...that our German comrade has developed...

...is little thicker than paper...

...and has the strength of steel.

May I?

Bitte.

Observe, please.

Please.

May I?

You see?!

Come, we must move on.

Thank you, Herr Doktor.

Bitte sehr, Herr Direktor.

[SOUND OF GLASS SHATTERING]

Nazi swine.

I hope you've had an interesting day, Mr Whistler.

I think you've seen all we have to offer.

But if there is anything else...?

If there is anything you'd like to see again?

No, you've been very kind, and it's been most instructive.

Er, I wonder if I could just wash my hands before I go back to dine...?

Of course, how thoughtless of me. Along here, please.

You should've asked me before.

Mr Galushka.

Excuse me.

- The comrade from East Germany. - Yes?

He wants to know what luggage to take on his re-education course.

Just a toothbrush, comrade.

Just a moment, comrade.

There's a bit of dirt on your jacket.

You're a visitor here, aren't you?

Yes. From London.

Ah, I thought so.

You've come just at the right time of year...

...we're having some really fine weather.

Is that so?

Oh, yes, it's most unusual for the time of year.

It's more as if it were...

I mean, it's almost---

You, er... you mean... er... [CLEARS THROAT]

...it's hot enough---

Mr Whistler.

Have you finished?

Er, yes.

Uh... tomorrow.

Come along. I'll take you to your car.

Oh, yes.

Now you've seen how we work, I hope you'll go out tonight and see how we enjoy ourselves.

Yes, I should like to do that very much.

Incidentally, you were saying if there was anything I wanted to see again...

...I wonder if I could come back tomorrow...

...and have another look at that, er, rolling process?

Of course, any time.

Oh, not tomorrow - we have a conference I have to attend.

Come Thursday. I shall I expect you.

Thursday.

Goodbye.

And I hope you have a nice stay.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Tell me, would it be against the rules for a capitalist to, er...

...buy you a drink?

Not necessarily.

I mean, you wouldn't be frightened that your friends might see you and say, er...

...'What is Comrade Simenova doing drinking with that reactionary hyena?'

They will know that it is the duty of Comrade Simenova...

...to drink with foreigners, even reactionary hyenas.

The work of a businessman must be very interesting.

Well, it carries its own responsibilities with it, you know.

At your factory, do you employ many child labourers?

Not any longer.

Too inefficient.

You must not make fun of me.

I am very well-informed about England.

I read the 'Daily Worker'.

I see.

Is it true that you have to go to Eton to be in the government?

It helps.

And a Party member, a Communist... could he go to Eton?

I've never actually known anyone who is a Communist and who went to Eton.

But there's certainly been quite a few who were Communists by the time they left.

Ah, but did they go into the government?

Usually the Foreign Office.

Oh...!

I'm afraid I'm being...

...a Fascist beast.

I see that you don't know the correct terminology.

You are too soft to rate the title of 'beast'.

Thank you.

Perhaps only a lackey of bourgeois reaction.

You're very, very attractive.

You see, there is much to learn about the ways of our society.

Well, perhaps you could take me out to dinner tonight and start to teach me.

If you wish.

But now I must make a telephone call. And I have to change.

Where shall I meet you?

At the Golden Cockerel at 9 o'clock.

Anyone will tell you where to find it.

Give me Red Six.

Ah, good afternoon, Mr Whistler. I just came to see if the maid had collected your laundry.

Oh, thank you.

I want to make a call to England, please.

To London.

I just told you, we shall be at the Golden Cockerel at nine.

In that case, we shall send an observer.

There's no necessity.

I can find out everything there is to know myself.

That will be for us to decide, comrade.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello! Hello!

Patience, Plakov.

Patience.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello, yes?

Allsop speaking.

It's Whistler.

Oh, is he back? Good.

He's calling from Prague.

Hello.

Whistler?

What the devil are you playing at? Who gave you this number?

Oh, I made a note of it when I was in your office.

I thought I'd give you a call in case you could tell me, er, when Mr Jones is coming out.

Mr Jones died in his bath this morning.

I'm... I'm terribly sorry.

Yes. It's very sad but he won't be joining you.

You'll have to manage on your own. There wasn't anything else, was there?

No, no... er, nothing specific... er.

Oh, you might like to know I've finally made contact.

Er... but I've got to go back again on Thursday.

I, I must say, they do make a frightful song and dance about it, don't they?

Yes, well, I think you'd better ring off now. These continental calls are a bit expensive.

[SIGHS]

Whistler... good luck, old man.

Well, what the devil are you waiting for?

Get onto the exchange and have them transfer that number to the Milk Marketing Board.

Yes, but don't you think he'll try and call again?

[LIVELY FOLK DANCE MUSIC]

Good evening. This way, please.

Your table, madam.

What about that one?

Reserved, madam.

- But I like it better. - Well, I'm sure you'll find this one splendid.

Your menus.

Thank you.

This table has been specially prepared for you, madam.

[SLOW, MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

Would you like to order now, sir?

Thank you.

Everything satisfactory, Comrade Plakov?

Did you ever hear the story of the political prisoner and the secret policeman?

Well... there was this secret policeman.

Let's say his name was Plakov.

He had a prisoner brought up from the cells.

And he said: 'Comrade, why don't you confess?'

'After all, you have nothing to lose but your chains.'

And the prisoner said: 'But I thought my chains belonged to the State.'

And Plakov... who was a very stupid man... said---

[MUSIC INTERRUPTS]

And what about your parents?

My mother died in the war.

And your father?

Ah... he's a musician.

He plays in an orchestra.

We live in a house outside the town.

Have you got any brothers or sisters?

No.

A fiance?

No.

I wonder why not.

[RADIO CRACKLES]

[UPBEAT TUNE BEGINS]

So you see, I have told you everything.

But there are still many things I must know from you.

Thank you.

There's plenty of time for that.

Plenty of time.

You can't be sure.

Come and dance.

Oh, no, I must go home.

But it's early.

Yes, but my father may be waiting for me.

I have to look after him.

Well, can I take you home?

Er, no, it's better that you don't.

Why not?

Nothing good should be done too fast.

And tomorrow, we have a holiday.

[CHEERFUL PIPED MUSIC]

Your back?

Mm.

If I may be permitted an observation...

...I don't think Comrade Simenova is taking her assignment seriously enough.

Your observations have been noted - frequently.

Yes, sir, but with respect, I feel we could do more.

Unfortunately, in your case, the response would be limited.

[THUNDERCLAP]

Oh...!

Oh!

Oh!

Wait. I'll get you some dry clothes.

Excuse me.

Crikey!

The Kremlin.

My father is a very fat man.

Yes, he is rather, isn't he?

Won't he mind?

He is not here, is he?

I will dry your clothes when you're ready.

I'm going to change.

[TENDER, ROMANTIC MUSIC]

Did you say your father was playing in a concert in Pilsen tonight?

Yes. Why?

When do you expect him home?

I don't.

Nicholas.

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

Yes?

Will you light the fire?

And then?

[PHONE RINGS]

[VOICE OVER PHONE] Hello.

[VOICE OVER PHONE] Hello. Hello.

And what the hell are you laughing at?

You look like a Russian.

A Russian?

I've got news for you.

The cold war...

...is about to end.

What are you thinking about?

I'm thinking about you.

Anything wrong with that?

I don't know.

If you were doing something here in Prague...

...I mean, something bad... would you tell me about it?

What should I be doing that's bad?

That's what I'm asking you.

Your visit to the factory, and again tomorrow.

Isn't there something about that which is...

...I don't know the word...

Suspicious?

Yes.

Look, I'm going back to the factory tomorrow for the last time.

To see a process that I missed.

And the day afterwards I fly back to London.

I shan't have harmed a living soul.

Then that... is what I shall believe.

It's my taxi.

Yes, I know.

I'll see you at the hotel later?

Yes.

But first I have to report to my office.

[TYRES SCREECH]

What d'you think you're up to?

Go on, get out of it!

You're not fit to drive!

That's right, get out of it!

Go on, get out of it, you rotten road-hog!

Get out of it! [HORSE WHINNIES]

Your daughter's here, sir.

Shall I send her in?

You tell her, Plakov.

I'm sure it will give you much more pleasure than it would me.

Yes, sir.

The disappointment you are causing your father is not a matter that concerns this organisation.

But your failure to obey instructions and...

...the frivolous attitude you've adopted towards this assignment are viewed with the greatest displeasure.

You are taken off the job.

And you are expressly forbidden to make any further contact with... Mr Whistler.

That's all. You may go.

I'm... I'm sorry.

Er, wrong car.

You are Mr Whistler?

Yes, I am.

But what's happened to Vlasta?

I mean, my usual driver?

Driver Simenova has been detained on other business.

I shall drive you.

Get in.

It's exciting, yes?

What's it for?

For the parade tomorrow. Have you not heard?

No.

Oh, it'll be one of the greatest in recent years...

...108 contingents are coming from the outlying districts alone.

By tonight the town will be full!

Mr Whistler.

Yes?

Driver Simenova gave me this for you.

Oh, thank you.

So, there is nothing more I can tell you.

Are you going to stay for the parade tomorrow?

Er... no, I shall be flying back... in the morning.

- Vicek, have you anything to drink in the office? - Yes, certainly.

Perhaps you'll join us for a drink before you go?

I'd like to very much. Er... may I just wash my hands first?

Good morning.

It's hot enough for June, isn't it?

Ah! But you should have been here last September.

Oh, good heavens, you don't say you're British?!

Of course I am, you bloody fool!

W-w-well, how did you get stuck in a job like this?

It's a cover, you idiot!

Here, give me the book.

A what?

A cover!

What do you mean, 'cover'?

What the hell do you think I mean?

Here, take this and guard it with your life.

I want to know what you meant.

Oh, do stop playing the fool, man.

I am a spy, the same as you are.

A spy?! But I'm not a spy.

Nothing to do with being a spy. I'm here on perfectly Le... legitimate industrial---

Espionage?

If you want to use that sort of word, yes, but, er...

...it's between one firm and another. It's quite common practice in business.

You tell that to the firing squad, my old darling.

The what?

The firing squad. [IMITATES MACHINE GUN]

Oh, dear!

Well, comrade...

...I wish you luck.

I just--- Oh...!

What's the matter?

We have to wait for the other car.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Where have you been?

Take your rifle.

We mustn't be seen talking.

What's the matter?

Shoot.

Is there something you didn't tell me last night?

No, nothing.

Anyway, it makes no difference.

I can't see you any more.

Why?

I can't tell you.

Shoot!

Vlasta, you must tell me. What's happened?

Don't look at me. Shoot.

Don't wait for the plane tomorrow.

You must leave today.

Someone's told you something. What is it?

It doesn't matter, just do as I say.

But...

...if I don't see you again...

...please remember that I didn't want this to happen.

Don't look. Shoot.

Hey!

Stop!

Stop!

You haven't paid!

I'm sorry.

For the lady.

Thanks.

Josef.

I shall be leaving sooner than I thought.

Go down and ask them to make up my bill, will you?

Certainly, sir.

Er... shall I bring it up for you, sir?

- Yes, do that, will you? - Certainly.

Oh, and my passport is still down at the desk.

I shall need that.

Very good, sir.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

Who is it?

It's me, sir, Josef.

Oh, come in.

Good evening.

I have some questions to ask you.

Yes.

Don't I know you?

I doubt it.

I represent the State Security Police.

All right, Josef.

Well, now, Mr Whistler.

Well, what is it?

I mean, nothing serious, I hope?

No, no, almost a formality, one might say.

If you will just sign this, please.

Yes, certainly.

What is it?

Your confession.

My what?!

What the hell are you talking about?

What am I supposed to have done?

Come, Mr Whistler, let's not waste time.

Your activities have been perfectly well known to us from the moment you set foot in the country.

It's only been a matter of picking the right moment.

Your friend at the Zapotocky Factory has already been arrested.

So you see... you might as well sign.

And if I refuse?

Oh, then we'd have to find an alternative.

A confession is of no value unless it's perfectly voluntary.

There is an alternative?

Yes, of course.

There's always an alternative.

Come, I want to show you something.

You see that man down there?

He's from the news agency.

He's waiting for this.

It is an item from tomorrow's newspapers.

'Prague, August 12th. British businessman Nicholas Whistler was found dead late last night...'

'...beneath the windows of his luxury suite at the Hotel Slovenska.'

'Mr Whistler was on a courtesy visit from London to the Zapotocky Glass Works.'

'A spokesman for the police said "foul play is not suspected".'

I like the bit about the luxury suite.

Yes, I do think the suggestion of opulence...

...does help to create a certain animosity towards the deceased.

Oh, mind you, I must admit that the style is pure journalese.

But I think you get the message.

Yes.

Yes, I think I do.

Incidentally, I shall want the little message you received this morning as well.

What message?

The little piece of paper you had concealed in your guide book.

Oh, that!

I'm afraid you can't have that.

I thought I'd made the position clear to you.

You have.

Indeed you have - abundantly clear.

I disposed of the message.

Disposed of it?

Mm. Posted it!

Are you insane?

Have you any idea what that paper contained?

No. Have you?

Never mind. Where did you send it?

To London, by express post.

I'll show you if you don't believe me. I've got the receipt here, in my suitcase...

[SHOUTING]

Capitalist swine!

[GUNSHOTS]

That's enough. Come on.

He's on the fire escape!

Room Service.

[ADOPTS YORKSHIRE ACCENT] This is room five-two, the third time I've called.

I'm sorry sir, I haven't been on duty.

Well, never mind about that, bring me a scotch and ginger ale.

Yes, sir, right away.

Well?

All the exits are covered.

Good.

Then we can take him at our leisure.

Your whisky, sir.

[POLICE CAR SIREN]

The first floor's been cleared. We've been right through it.

Good.

But I want two men left there on guard in case he makes his way down.

The others can continue on the other floors.

- Yes, sir. - All right.

Sorry, no one is to leave.

No, I know.

The... they've got him.

He's upstairs.

I'm the floor waiter.

Well, where do you think you're going?

To the chemist. He's tried to take his life. They want something quickly.

Well, if you don't believe me, call.

Call up.

- But for God's sake, don't stop me! - Wait here.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Come on - on the double.

Hello. British Embassy here.

Listen.

The secret police are after me.

They--- they think I'm a kind of spy or something... [POLICE SIREN]

...and if I don't get---

[POLICE SHOUTING]

There. That should do it.

He's trapped in the square.

He won't get off the street in those clothes, and he can't change out of them.

Around midnight when the streets begin to clear he'll be in our hands.

[EXCITED CHATTER]

Go on, out of it.

And you, move along.

[WHISTLE BLOWN]

Stop!

[CONTINUES BLOWING WHISTLE]

[WHISTLE]

[WHISTLE]

[DISTANT POLICE WHISTLE, PASSING SIREN]

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

- Good night. - Good night.

Hey! But--- But---

Waiter! Waiter!

Yes, sir.

- One Hungarian goulash, please. - Yes, sir.

With dumplings.

With dumplings, sir.

[KITCHEN STAFF SHOUTING]

One Hungarian goulash.

One Hungarian goulash.

- With dumplings. - With dumplings.

I want every man on duty familiar with this face.

- Have these distributed immediately. - Yes, sir.

You are already familiar with the face.

Do you think it's a good likeness?

Not very flattering.

We are not involved in a beauty competition.

This man is a dangerous spy!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[WOMAN GIGGLES]

Darling!

Papa!

Papa!

Nicholas!

Why did you lie to me?

I didn't lie to you.

Lie!

You told me your father was a musician.

Now I suppose you're going to tell me that he's playing in the Secret Police Band.

I'm sorry.

- I'd forgotten I'd told you that. - Yes, you forgot that.

What else did you forget to tell me?

Come on, what else did you forget to tell me?

I didn't tell you... that I, too, work for the police.

You do?

Yes, I do.

And, anyway...

...what right have you to be angry?

You didn't tell me you were a spy!

But I'm not!

You are going to deny it?

Well, I...

...I... Well, I didn't know that I was.

And you expect me to believe that?

I don't care what you believe.

I don't care what you believe.

Anyway, it's great for you now.

You can turn me in. Here I am.

You think I would do that?

I don't know what you'd do.

No. Of course I don't.

- You need sleep. - Mmm.

Come, you can use my room.

No, no, I must go, I must go.

I must get to the British Embassy.

But then why did you come here?

Because I wanted to see you again.

And because I thought you might be able to help me.

To deliver secrets to the British?

No, no.

Tell me... did you really post that piece of paper?

My father turned the entire post office upside down looking for it.

No, I didn't.

You want me to help you get to the British Embassy?

So that you can deliver it.

You are trying to make me... a traitor.

No - I'm not!

Well... what will you do with it?

I... I don't know.

You'd better give it to me.

It's all right for me to be a traitor.

Not you.

But for me it's all right.

Oh! I didn't think of that.

Will you help me to get to the Embassy?

I will try.

In that case... there's only one solution, isn't there?

D'you know...

...I don't even know what this was all about.

Nor do I.

Oh, I'm so tired.

[RINGS BELL]

Now, look here...

...my name's Roddinghead.

Schryck!

How do you do.

The Ambassador wants to know how much longer these fellows are going to lounge about on the corner.

Well, what the devil are they doing here, anyway?

I think they are waiting for a friend.

[RINGS BELL]

Smiling again, Plakov. Good.

I like a man who smiles in the face of adversity.

Our quarry is roaming the streets of Prague, dressed in waiter's tails in broad daylight.

And Plakov, the eagle-eyed genius of the Secret Police, cannot locate him.

Very good, Plakov.

What fresh disaster have you to report?

Well, not a disaster, sir, it's really more in the nature of a joke.

A joke?

Yes.

Well, now...

...this is a new side of your personality.

Very good, Plakov - amuse me.

We-well, sir, it seems that the staff of the British Embassy have mistaken our men for some kind of...

...riff-raff and criminals.

They're threatening to make representations to the government if they don't go away!

Only a fool would find that story funny.

You fool.

To anyone else it would be perfectly clear that Whistler has contacted his embassy. That they are now expecting him.

And that they are now therefore anxious to disperse the riff-raff and criminals waiting on the corner.

Whom they know perfectly well to be members of our Secret Police.

Furthermore, if they should make representations to the government...

...and we refuse to move those men...

...we shall have disclosed the singular importance of this case.

We therefore need a reliable man to go to the British Embassy...

...and explain the necessity of keeping those men where they are.

Any suggestions?

- Well, sir, if you permit me, I think... - Never mind, Plakov, I am going myself.

Oh, by the way, I don't say this will happen...

...but if by any chance while I'm out, a young man should drop in...

...dressed in waiter's tails and answering to the name of Whistler.

Whistler?

- Whistler. - Whistler.

Do try to arrest him.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

Come!

Excuse me, sir.

There's a fellow come about those people on the corner.

Says his name's Simenova.

Simenova! That old blaggard!

Do you know him, then?

Of course I know him. He's my opposite number.

Oh! Well, I was going to suggest you might have a word with him.

But if he knows who you are, I suppose we shouldn't let on about your being in this country.

No, that's all right, diplomatic privilege and all that sort of thing. Show him in.

Simenova... that old rascal.

I wonder what he's got up his sleeve this time.

Oh! Ha, ha!

My dear fellow, what a delightful surprise!

You're looking younger than ever.

Thank you.

I didn't know you were in the Diplomatic Corps now.

Yes. Oh, yes, yes... Sit down.

- Let me get you a drink. - Thank you.

Yes, it's a young man's job, this intelligence business.

They, um... pensioned you off, did they?

- That's about the size of it. - Hm.

Vodka?

- Scotch, please. - Oh!

Well, what can I do for you?

I think there's some misunderstanding. We were told you wanted to see us.

Oh?

Ah, yes, those people on the corner.

I understand your people aren't too happy about it. Why is that?

Well, the Ambassador was remarking about that this morning. You know, he finds it a bit upsetting.

I suppose it's a bit much really, having that sort of riff-raff...

...hanging about the Embassy day in, day out.

Yes, I understand your feelings.

I'm only sorry I can't have them moved for you.

But surely it's a perfectly straightforward police job?

Yes, of course.

But, between you and me, those men are not riff-raff.

They are hand-picked members of the Secret Police.

You're joking, of course.

No, they are, really.

And what's more, they are there for your protection.

Now, don't tell me the rest. Let me tell you.

There's a strong element of anti-British fanatics in the city.

Pledged to assassinate the Ambassador and all his staff.

In order to prevent any unpleasantness...

...the Secret Police have placed the Embassy under guard.

Correct?

Something like that.

Well, it is nice to know we're not all going to be murdered in our beds.

Between you and me, don't you think that dodge is a little bit played out?

Yes.

- But what can we do? - Ha, ha...

By the way, have you come across a fellow called Whistler?

Whistler? No, I don't think so, no. One of yours?

No. One of yours.

I thought you might know him.

Someone told me he had a bit of an accident.

Oh, I am sorry. Anything serious?

[LAUGHTER]

[ACCORDION MUSIC]

Are you quite sure it's all right?

Yes, perfectly.

You're sure they'll be in time?

At three o'clock, then.

In exactly two minutes' time...

...you will leave here and go straight to the Embassy.

Don't take notice of anything that may be happening on the street.

Just go straight to the Embassy.

What do you mean?

What if something does go wrong?

[SIGHS] It won't.

But if it does... there is an old loft at the back of this cafe.

An old what?

Loft. Go there and I will be waiting for you.

I-in-in there?

Yes. In there.

Goodbye, Nicholas.

Don't forget your tools.

You're supposed to be a plumber.

Thank you.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Hey!

Yes?

Yes, hold them, all of them. I'm coming immediately.

[SIREN BLARING]

[SHOUTING]

Good afternoon, Mr Whistler.

Stop that man!

We've got them, sir, all of them.

You let him go. Idiot.

Who put you up to this? I want the name.

No one, sir. Really, it was no one.

They told me they were employing waiters at the Embassy.

And you all had to report at the same time?

Yes, sir.

At three o'clock, sir; in tails!

[NAVAL MARCH PLAYING]

[CHEERING]

I want this description circulated to every post.

Yes, sir.

He'll probably try to change his clothes again, and he'll go where the crowds are.

I want men at every public event.

Football grounds, swimming pools, beer gardens - everywhere. Understand?

Yes.

That's mine, comrade.

Oh... yes.

Oouw!

What's the trouble, comrade?

Well, you've burnt me, you fool!

I'm sorry, I must have burnt you with my cigarette.

Put some of this on.

Well, you want to be more careful!

Yes, I know. I was very careless. I'm sorry.

You won't feel a thing.

Sorry.

These are number 400.

That's right, isn't it?

Yes.

[OOMPAH BAND PLAYING]

Police!

Right, you, come on. This way.

Take your hands off me! Take them off!

Help, help! Police! Put me down!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Vlasta?

Oh, darling!

I thought they'd caught you.

No, I'm all right.

But when I saw your father I just lost my nerve and... and ran.

But I'm all right now, really.

Oh!

But where did you find these?

I'll explain to you later.

- Oh, I'm sorry. I am sorry. - It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

Listen, I've got a plan to get into the Embassy.

It doesn't involve you at all.

It just means that I'll have to stay here till...

...well, till dawn.

[MILK BOTTLES CHINKING]

There's the milkman.

Six o'clock.

Yeah!

This time I'd better not say goodbye.

This time all will go well.

You think?

Take care.

I love you.

Milko!

Milko!

Milk!

Milk!

MILK!

Hey, milkman! [WHISTLES]

What is it, comrade?

I want you---

There's something you ought to know.

What's that?

There's a man in there.

- Oh, you're drunk! - No.

[THUD, GLASS SHATTERING]

[HORSE NEIGHING]

- Did you hear anything? - Yeah...

...a voice in my head.

It says 'Why don't I go home?'

Milko!

Good morning.

Milko!

[BELL RINGING]

[SINISTER MUSIC]

You, milkman, what are you doing?

Leave your milk and come away.

They asked me to call.

Put it down and leave.

They're having a reception, they want some cream.

Oi! Let me out of here, someone!

Ah, that's better.

Do you think so?

Better than the Robin Hood outfit.

Yes, I suppose it is.

It's very kind of you to loan them to me.

Well, it makes you look a bit more British, anyway.

Yes, I rather thought it did.

They're my golfing things.

I've got a match on the 23rd, so I'd be awfully glad if you'd bung 'em back to me as soon as possible.

Yes, of course.

Don't wrap 'em in paper - use a stout cardboard box with plenty of string.

Yes.

They're inclined to burst, you know?

What are?

Paper parcels.

I'll take the greatest care.

Good show!

And, remember, the 23rd...

...against the Turks.

Well, thank you again. I'll remember.

Not at all.

We had to get you looking presentable, hadn't we?

Ah, Whistler - there you are.

I must say, you've taken you've taken your time getting here, haven't you?

I was beginning to think you weren't going to show up.

- I'd no idea--- - And I had no idea, either.

I want to talk to you.

Well, that's all right, I want to talk to you, too.

Sit down.

Now then... about the message.

Have you got it?

- Well, er... in a way. - How do you mean, 'In a way'?

I swallowed it.

- You swallowed it! - Well, they were trying to arrest me.

I suppose there's no chance of, er...

...no, well, never mind, it can't be helped.

I'm sure you did your best.

Come along, I'll get you some coffee.

Oh, before I forget: this is important.

About the money I gave you in London;

I shall need chits for it, you know, it's all accountable.

Ah, Whistler, there's a paper on the table I'd like you to glance at.

Oh?

What is it?

The Official Secrets Act.

Oh, really?

Got the gist of it?

Well, hardly, it's rather long.

It is a bit of a rigmarole, I shouldn't bother with it.

Just put your name at the bottom.

I never sign anything unless I've read the small print.

My dear fellow, everybody has to sign that.

You can't go home until you do.

Home?!

Well, you don't want to stay at the Embassy forever, do you?

Besides, we're exchanging you, you know, for a fourth attache at the Hungarian Embassy.

Is that good?

Oh, yes, yes, quite a feather in your cap.

By the way... that formula you were carting about.

Did you happen to have a look at it?

Well, I did give it a sort of... brief glance, yes.

Any idea what it was about?

No. Not the faintest.

What a pity!

But, you mean, you didn't know either?

No. A chap in Naval Intelligence gave us the tip.

He said he thought it might be something important.

He never did say what it was.

Since you're going to London, you might leave that at the War House for me, will you?

You can drink the gin but be careful of the local water.

Yes, Father.

My dear fellow, what are you doing here?

Seeing someone off.

Bit suspicious, aren't you?

There was never the slightest intention of keeping him in the country.

No, no, it's my daughter.

We've been lucky enough to get her a position with our trade mission in London.

Oh, Whistler - keep the briefcase away from the young woman.

Never mind.

They tell me the waiting room is neutral territory.

This time the drinks are on me.

Did you say you were going to England on a... on a trade mission?

Yes, I have to go to a place called Aldermaston.

Well, you won't need this.

[THEME MUSIC]

Look.