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Thanks to many wise leaders,
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00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:54,267
the Italian people have reached
a high level of maturity.
5
00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:58,683
Employees and workers
have finally understood
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00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:02,308
that productivity is the basis
of a wealthy society
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00:02:02,392 --> 00:02:05,600
and it's the only way
of coming out of the crisis.
8
00:02:08,933 --> 00:02:10,933
Let us in, we want to work!
9
00:02:11,017 --> 00:02:13,850
Tonight I want to work
three hours more!
10
00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:16,517
We must increase productivity!
11
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,558
I can't live without my paperwork!
12
00:02:20,642 --> 00:02:23,475
Let's help our country!
13
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:36,433
Let's walk, let's save time.
14
00:02:36,517 --> 00:02:42,058
Nowadays, the plague of a second job
and of absenteeism,
15
00:02:42,142 --> 00:02:46,100
that caused so much damage
to the Italian economy,
16
00:02:46,183 --> 00:02:50,433
can finally be considered eradicated.
17
00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:53,642
Let's go, let's go to work!
18
00:02:53,725 --> 00:02:55,892
Let's go to work!
19
00:02:57,183 --> 00:02:58,308
Go!
20
00:02:58,392 --> 00:03:00,725
- Where is your second job?
- At the post office.
21
00:03:00,808 --> 00:03:03,933
Can you give me a ride?
I didn't take the car today.
22
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,267
- Weren't you at City Hall?
- Yes, but I have three jobs!
23
00:03:13,017 --> 00:03:14,892
Hi, Cabrini.
24
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:36,433
Antonio, you didn't look, right?
Silly you!
25
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,058
Wait!
26
00:04:03,517 --> 00:04:04,975
OCCUPIED
27
00:04:18,308 --> 00:04:20,308
Good morning, accountant.
28
00:04:28,183 --> 00:04:30,475
{\an8}BACK SOON! WENT TO BATHROOM
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00:04:50,350 --> 00:04:53,058
BLIND
30
00:04:53,142 --> 00:04:56,308
- Accountant, really? With us!
- I had to try!
31
00:05:31,058 --> 00:05:32,308
{\an8}LIFEGUARD
32
00:05:48,808 --> 00:05:52,558
Adriana, this thing of the second job
is really a scandal!
33
00:05:52,642 --> 00:05:56,267
- It's really shitty.
- Thank you, sir.
34
00:06:04,725 --> 00:06:10,475
{\an8}NAA
NATIONAL ABSENTEE ASSOCIATION
35
00:06:41,725 --> 00:06:45,892
CORRADO MARIA LOBBIAM
INSPECTOR OF THE INSPECTORS
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00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:42,725
Hello? What?
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00:07:42,808 --> 00:07:47,350
No, Mr. Mughini went to work
at the director's office.
38
00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:49,392
Excuse me a second.
39
00:07:50,392 --> 00:07:53,350
Hello? Good morning.
No, Miss Silvani is...
40
00:08:20,183 --> 00:08:23,350
APPROVAL OFFICE
41
00:09:00,892 --> 00:09:03,058
Is everything fine here?
42
00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:15,766
OUT OF ORDER
43
00:09:22,683 --> 00:09:23,725
PAYROLL AND CASH OFFICE
44
00:09:30,225 --> 00:09:37,433
CASHIER 1
45
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:56,808
CASHIER 2
46
00:10:04,975 --> 00:10:12,183
CASHIER 3
47
00:10:28,892 --> 00:10:31,600
SECOND FLOOR
48
00:10:31,683 --> 00:10:34,808
{\an8}BACK SOON! WENT TO BATHROOM
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00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:42,975
Occupied.
50
00:10:48,475 --> 00:10:49,600
Occupied.
51
00:10:52,517 --> 00:10:53,642
Hi!
52
00:10:53,725 --> 00:10:56,017
Hi! Hello, everyone.
53
00:10:56,892 --> 00:11:01,725
You need extra strong paper
and ribbons for the typewriters.
54
00:11:01,808 --> 00:11:05,017
Work well, everyone.
Work as much as you can!
55
00:11:06,058 --> 00:11:08,725
Stationary for my colleagues.
56
00:11:08,808 --> 00:11:11,808
I'll get it right away.
57
00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,392
He is going down!
58
00:11:29,767 --> 00:11:30,975
All right!
59
00:11:32,308 --> 00:11:35,475
OUT OF ORDER
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00:11:35,558 --> 00:11:41,808
FIRST FLOOR
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00:11:46,933 --> 00:11:49,183
- What floor is this?
- First.
62
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:52,308
I must go to the fifth!
63
00:11:54,183 --> 00:11:55,892
Fifth...
64
00:12:27,933 --> 00:12:30,142
Hurry, Fantozzi, faster!
65
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,642
Welcome back, Miss Silvani.
66
00:12:51,392 --> 00:12:54,475
How did your day
at the solarium go?
67
00:12:54,558 --> 00:12:58,933
Don't ask me about it. A shitty day.
The sun would come and go.
68
00:12:59,933 --> 00:13:05,142
- I'm sorry.
- Lucky you who stayed here.
69
00:13:05,225 --> 00:13:07,142
Well, not really.
70
00:13:09,017 --> 00:13:10,225
Miss.
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00:13:11,142 --> 00:13:15,808
Miss Silvani, I have been trying
to tell you something for a year.
72
00:13:15,892 --> 00:13:21,767
Maybe you didn't notice
that I do all this for you.
73
00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:23,642
Just for you.
74
00:13:31,183 --> 00:13:33,308
So you will do this
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00:13:34,142 --> 00:13:37,683
also tomorrow, my little Fantozzi?
76
00:13:40,017 --> 00:13:44,058
I will do it! Also tomorrow!
77
00:13:44,142 --> 00:13:48,100
- I will!
- Now go, you smell like sweat!
78
00:13:48,183 --> 00:13:50,933
- Out! Go!
- Make him leave!
79
00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:54,850
- Go wash yourself, you smell!
- Go wash yourself!
80
00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:57,100
How can you smell so much?
81
00:13:57,183 --> 00:14:00,058
He's from a low social class,
he has a poor metabolism.
82
00:14:00,142 --> 00:14:03,142
Go, also wash your intimate parts!
83
00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:06,267
Attention!
84
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,767
- Who is missing?
- Fantozzi!
85
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:18,142
Fantozzi's house, who is speaking?
86
00:14:19,183 --> 00:14:22,267
Ugo, what's wrong?
What did they do to you?
87
00:14:22,350 --> 00:14:26,392
Nothing, Pina, don't worry.
I just have to do some extra hours.
88
00:14:26,475 --> 00:14:29,642
All right,
then go get Mariangela from work.
89
00:14:29,725 --> 00:14:31,517
Yes, I will do it later.
90
00:14:32,225 --> 00:14:35,517
Not now, I can't move now.
91
00:14:37,642 --> 00:14:42,392
{\an8}I'M AN ABSENTEE
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00:14:42,475 --> 00:14:46,642
ANIMAL SHELTER
93
00:15:09,267 --> 00:15:10,558
Hi, Dad.
94
00:15:12,642 --> 00:15:13,933
Hi, hi.
95
00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:17,517
Good morning.
96
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,600
- Excuse me, how can I help you?
- Huh?
97
00:15:20,683 --> 00:15:24,433
- I came to get...
- How can this be... You too?
98
00:15:24,517 --> 00:15:27,808
She is not for sale! She is
a shop assistant and not a monkey!
99
00:15:27,892 --> 00:15:30,392
What are you talking about?
She is my baby.
100
00:15:30,475 --> 00:15:32,725
She is not a baboon!
She is a shop assistant!
101
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:36,183
She is my baboon...
My baby, my daughter!
102
00:15:37,808 --> 00:15:39,850
Go get changed, it's 7 o'clock.
103
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,433
Excuse me,
I don't know if you noticed
104
00:15:43,517 --> 00:15:48,058
but you treated my daughter
as if she was a monkey.
105
00:15:49,017 --> 00:15:51,225
Well, goodbye.
106
00:15:51,308 --> 00:15:53,058
Mariangela, dear. Come.
107
00:15:53,142 --> 00:15:57,058
Dad will take you away. I sent
your application to the post office.
108
00:15:57,142 --> 00:16:00,308
- This is not the place for you.
- What are you doing?
109
00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:02,933
Are you trying to be a smart ass?
Take your own one!
110
00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:08,517
I confused them.
You know, they look similar, so...
111
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,475
Here.
112
00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:15,350
Sorry, if you really
want this one, fine. Here.
113
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:20,600
Dad was joking, let's go home.
114
00:16:25,142 --> 00:16:27,642
- Pina, open!
- Coming.
115
00:16:28,225 --> 00:16:31,558
Pina, I forgot the keys.
Is the spaghetti ready?
116
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:34,183
- No, Ugo.
- I've been craving it all day.
117
00:16:34,267 --> 00:16:38,183
Wait, Hugo. Don't you
remember what day it is today?
118
00:16:39,892 --> 00:16:41,892
What day is it today?
119
00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:52,267
- Everybody is here.
- Everybody...
120
00:16:54,058 --> 00:16:57,308
All right, let's not be dramatic.
121
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,308
- Where is Mariangela?
- Here.
122
00:16:59,392 --> 00:17:03,183
You two go lock yourselves
in the bathroom, save yourselves.
123
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:06,183
- Come out at my signal.
- The sound of the falcon.
124
00:17:06,267 --> 00:17:09,600
- No, Pina, the sound of the owl.
- Yes, the owl.
125
00:17:09,683 --> 00:17:10,892
I'm going.
126
00:17:11,683 --> 00:17:16,392
- Ugo, be careful.
- Yes, I have been through worse...
127
00:17:17,017 --> 00:17:19,267
Mariangela. Give a kiss to Daddy.
128
00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:23,642
Wait, I am not prepared for the kiss.
129
00:17:24,267 --> 00:17:26,475
- Go away!
- Let's go.
130
00:17:26,558 --> 00:17:28,767
Remember, the sound of the owl!
131
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:42,517
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
132
00:17:44,767 --> 00:17:50,850
It was the terrifying
bimonthly owners' meeting
133
00:17:50,933 --> 00:17:56,058
that would take turns
at each owner's apartment.
134
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:58,933
This time you will be the president.
135
00:17:59,017 --> 00:18:00,932
- Me?
- Yes.
136
00:18:01,017 --> 00:18:03,307
So... I declare the meeting open!
137
00:18:06,475 --> 00:18:08,642
You never close the elevator door!
138
00:18:13,682 --> 00:18:17,433
- And you don't pay!
- And you are a cuckold!
139
00:18:17,517 --> 00:18:21,308
- You are three installments behind!
- Here! One, two...
140
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:23,767
and three!
141
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,058
You, go see the porter's room.
142
00:18:31,142 --> 00:18:34,558
It's always dirty. You are
the building manager, go see.
143
00:18:34,642 --> 00:18:36,850
- No!
- He went!
144
00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:40,183
- Your TV is too loud!
- Your son skates in the house!
145
00:18:40,267 --> 00:18:42,142
The meeting is over!
146
00:18:42,767 --> 00:18:44,933
- Goodbye.
- Good evening.
147
00:18:45,017 --> 00:18:50,808
At the beginning of the following summer,
an exceptional event occurred.
148
00:18:50,892 --> 00:18:56,433
So exceptional that for once
the employees renounced absenteeism
149
00:18:56,517 --> 00:18:59,558
and stayed in the office to work.
150
00:19:04,683 --> 00:19:07,100
These are easy questions!
151
00:19:07,183 --> 00:19:10,100
- No, they are not easy.
- Shut up!
152
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:14,517
Here is the prize
of this week, an RV.
153
00:19:16,892 --> 00:19:21,933
- How fucking lucky she was!
- Don't be vulgar, she studied.
154
00:19:22,017 --> 00:19:25,017
- Shut up!
- Will you use it by yourself?
155
00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:29,808
Do you think that I have problems?
156
00:19:29,892 --> 00:19:32,558
How beautiful!
Do you want to greet anyone?
157
00:19:32,642 --> 00:19:38,642
A kiss to all my colleagues
who are surely watching me.
158
00:19:39,933 --> 00:19:43,183
They pushed me
to participate to this game.
159
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:46,142
- Lobbiam!
- Away!
160
00:19:53,142 --> 00:19:55,017
Good morning, Excellency.
161
00:19:55,558 --> 00:19:58,308
The victory of Miss Silvani
162
00:19:58,392 --> 00:20:04,058
arose an organizational frenzy
in accountant Filini
163
00:20:04,142 --> 00:20:08,308
who arranged
a group holiday right away.
164
00:20:08,392 --> 00:20:10,975
A caravan of RVs.
165
00:20:11,058 --> 00:20:15,100
Fantozzi and Filini
went to get them
166
00:20:15,183 --> 00:20:18,683
in that tragic labyrinth
that is the selling parking lot.
167
00:20:18,767 --> 00:20:21,142
And as a dreadful coincidence,
168
00:20:21,225 --> 00:20:25,433
they went on the same day
and the same hour
169
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,642
and for the same model.
170
00:20:34,142 --> 00:20:36,183
The day of their departure
171
00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:39,600
at the meeting point,
which was Miss Silvani's building,
172
00:20:39,683 --> 00:20:41,975
here is who showed up:
173
00:20:42,058 --> 00:20:46,683
Colsi and Mughini together
to spend less on fuel
174
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:49,392
but still saving their privacy.
175
00:20:50,892 --> 00:20:52,850
- Miss Silvani!
- Miss Silvani!
176
00:20:52,933 --> 00:20:54,433
Congratulations!
177
00:20:54,517 --> 00:21:01,767
Calboni was shamelessly passing off
an old ambulance as an RV.
178
00:21:01,850 --> 00:21:06,475
He had rented it from a friend of his,
a ruthless ambulance driver.
179
00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:11,725
As his voyage companion, he was
trying to pass off as a noble woman,
180
00:21:11,808 --> 00:21:16,558
a cheap whore,
ironically called "the countess"
181
00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:19,475
because of her elegant behavior.
182
00:21:20,308 --> 00:21:24,558
Then Filini arrived, who had solved
the problem of the vehicle
183
00:21:24,642 --> 00:21:27,475
with nothing less than a tank,
184
00:21:27,558 --> 00:21:31,267
an old remnant from World War Two.
185
00:21:33,308 --> 00:21:35,308
Here I am!
186
00:21:37,392 --> 00:21:38,933
What a beauty!
187
00:21:39,017 --> 00:21:42,433
Good morning, here we are!
Are we ready to go?
188
00:21:42,517 --> 00:21:46,058
- Only Fantozzi is missing.
- Damn! As usual!
189
00:21:46,142 --> 00:21:48,142
Here he is!
190
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:53,392
- Fantozzi!
- What are you doing there? Come!
191
00:21:54,183 --> 00:21:56,600
They are calling us, let's go.
192
00:21:56,683 --> 00:22:00,017
Yes, and also with...
193
00:22:01,517 --> 00:22:03,642
As you want. Let's go.
194
00:22:14,308 --> 00:22:17,308
Eye, evil eye, parsley and fennel!
195
00:22:22,017 --> 00:22:24,183
Parsley and fennel!
196
00:22:24,267 --> 00:22:28,142
Good, we are all here.
Let's turn on the engines!
197
00:22:28,225 --> 00:22:30,683
Everybody follow me!
198
00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:37,017
- Where are you going?
- To say hi, no?
199
00:22:44,892 --> 00:22:48,058
Good morning, Miss Silvani.
I came to greet you before we leave.
200
00:22:48,142 --> 00:22:51,100
And I want to give you
this little gift.
201
00:22:51,183 --> 00:22:56,308
A Saint Christopher magnet to put there.
It's the protector of drivers.
202
00:22:59,267 --> 00:23:01,808
Excuse me, don't you open it?
203
00:23:02,475 --> 00:23:06,517
Ugo! I'll remind you that I am
here as well, I am your wife!
204
00:23:08,017 --> 00:23:12,892
Poor thing! She wanted to come
because she is jealous of us.
205
00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:16,100
- What?
- She is jealous of you and I...
206
00:23:16,183 --> 00:23:18,100
Because you and I...
207
00:23:18,683 --> 00:23:19,683
Of you?
208
00:23:20,267 --> 00:23:22,933
It is like being jealous of a toad!
209
00:23:26,017 --> 00:23:27,767
What? Who talked?
210
00:23:27,850 --> 00:23:32,142
Once you are all ready, honk. Go!
211
00:23:36,933 --> 00:23:38,850
Silvani's horn.
212
00:23:38,933 --> 00:23:41,933
Calboni's siren.
Colsi and Mughini's horn.
213
00:23:42,558 --> 00:23:44,142
Fantozzi's horn.
214
00:23:45,017 --> 00:23:47,017
Filini's horn!
215
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,558
Honk at him!
216
00:24:08,642 --> 00:24:12,475
Are you crazy, Pina? If he honks
back at us, we are screwed!
217
00:24:12,558 --> 00:24:14,933
Maybe he won't answer.
218
00:24:15,017 --> 00:24:17,933
As soon as possible,
I will go to the end.
219
00:25:07,808 --> 00:25:09,850
After that pitiful episode,
220
00:25:09,933 --> 00:25:13,558
Miss Silvani went to the head
of the caravan to avoid other troubles.
221
00:25:23,308 --> 00:25:24,558
What happened?
222
00:25:26,433 --> 00:25:30,392
She must have rear-ended
a manure truck.
223
00:25:32,517 --> 00:25:33,808
Can I help you?
224
00:25:33,892 --> 00:25:35,183
{\an8}ANYWHERE
225
00:25:35,267 --> 00:25:41,017
You want a ride! Come, come, get in!
Here we go!
226
00:25:47,142 --> 00:25:50,350
- What is she doing? Is she crazy?
- Why?
227
00:25:50,433 --> 00:25:53,142
Don't you see who she let in?
228
00:25:54,267 --> 00:25:57,058
She is such a young girl.
229
00:25:57,142 --> 00:26:01,808
And a girl like her
gives a lift to such a criminal?
230
00:26:03,475 --> 00:26:07,183
Ugo, I already asked you
to not worry about her,
231
00:26:07,267 --> 00:26:10,683
- at least not when I am with you.
- I don't worry about her.
232
00:26:10,767 --> 00:26:14,433
Anyway, that guy doesn't look
like a criminal to me.
233
00:26:14,517 --> 00:26:16,892
No? What does he look like?
234
00:26:17,558 --> 00:26:22,725
Well, I would say that he looks like
a funny and poetic vagabond.
235
00:26:25,267 --> 00:26:29,100
Franco said that he will take us
to a fantastic place.
236
00:26:29,183 --> 00:26:33,308
A place that he knows
and where no one else goes!
237
00:26:58,308 --> 00:27:00,183
That's fascinating.
238
00:27:06,267 --> 00:27:09,183
- Beautiful, no?
- Marvelous!
239
00:27:09,267 --> 00:27:12,308
I adore wild nature!
240
00:27:12,392 --> 00:27:16,475
We must thank Franchino
who let us discover this paradise!
241
00:27:16,558 --> 00:27:19,058
- Franchino!
- She calls him "Franchino".
242
00:27:19,142 --> 00:27:22,433
- Why not?
- Franchino! Come! Come!
243
00:27:22,517 --> 00:27:25,850
Franchino,
let me introduce you my friends.
244
00:27:28,058 --> 00:27:29,767
Ugo, are you sick?
245
00:27:33,933 --> 00:27:39,017
- Franchino, are you staying with us?
- Sure, he has his sleeping bag!
246
00:27:56,642 --> 00:28:00,350
I have an idea!
Let's grill some fish!
247
00:28:02,933 --> 00:28:05,183
You will be my guests tonight.
248
00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:09,517
The men take care of the fish
and us girls will cook it!
249
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,225
Miss Silvani, this is a good idea.
I will take care of everything!
250
00:28:13,308 --> 00:28:15,808
Fantozzi, we will get the fish.
251
00:28:15,892 --> 00:28:19,308
- We will cut some wood!
- Yes, there is a forest!
252
00:28:21,017 --> 00:28:25,142
Get the fishing pole and the bait.
I'll call Calboni.
253
00:28:25,225 --> 00:28:26,767
Move!
254
00:28:28,058 --> 00:28:31,183
- Mr. Calboni!
- What?
255
00:28:31,267 --> 00:28:34,308
- Let's go fishing!
- What are you doing?
256
00:28:34,392 --> 00:28:37,308
We are going fishing.
Do you want to join us?
257
00:28:37,392 --> 00:28:40,975
Yes, I was actually making a joint.
258
00:28:41,058 --> 00:28:45,600
When you see the red light on,
it means that I am busy
259
00:28:45,683 --> 00:28:50,017
- and don't disturb me, okay?
- I am sorry. I apologize.
260
00:28:51,017 --> 00:28:54,392
What are you doing?
Come on, let's go. Move!
261
00:28:55,892 --> 00:28:59,683
- He opened...
- What could it be? Let's go.
262
00:29:01,933 --> 00:29:03,225
- One.
- One.
263
00:29:03,308 --> 00:29:04,683
- Two.
- Two.
264
00:29:04,767 --> 00:29:06,767
- Three. Go!
- Go!
265
00:29:10,267 --> 00:29:13,017
What did you do?
266
00:29:15,975 --> 00:29:17,808
I got it!
267
00:29:20,767 --> 00:29:23,225
I got one as well!
268
00:29:23,308 --> 00:29:25,100
Pull!
269
00:29:35,767 --> 00:29:39,142
How is the fishing going?
270
00:29:39,725 --> 00:29:43,683
Fine, we have already got eight,
all of the same kind.
271
00:29:43,767 --> 00:29:46,225
- They are very big!
- Nine!
272
00:29:48,892 --> 00:29:53,975
- Oh, my God! How gross!
- Ugo, they are rats!
273
00:29:54,058 --> 00:29:57,392
I was suspecting that...
274
00:29:57,475 --> 00:30:01,100
You are the usual pig!
Go fish somewhere else.
275
00:30:01,183 --> 00:30:03,433
Yes, take the boat!
276
00:30:04,892 --> 00:30:08,642
Let's do something,
throw away those rats.
277
00:30:08,725 --> 00:30:13,058
What rats are you talking about?
Don't you start too.
278
00:30:13,142 --> 00:30:15,933
There is the catfish and there is
also the ratfish.
279
00:30:16,017 --> 00:30:21,850
You may like it or not.
I find a grilled ratfish delicious!
280
00:30:21,933 --> 00:30:25,933
Anyway, if you prefer, we can
throw all this goodness away.
281
00:30:27,308 --> 00:30:29,433
Here! Are you happy?
282
00:30:30,183 --> 00:30:36,267
Come, hurry up!
It may be dangerous!
283
00:30:36,350 --> 00:30:39,392
I'm coming!
I have to put the alarm on.
284
00:30:46,308 --> 00:30:50,058
- Did you see? I saved the engine.
- Yes, I saw it. Good job.
285
00:30:50,142 --> 00:30:54,600
I am afraid it got wet, water got in.
286
00:30:54,683 --> 00:30:57,558
- Can you try to switch it on?
- Yes, let's try it.
287
00:31:02,017 --> 00:31:03,933
It is working! It is working!
288
00:31:04,017 --> 00:31:07,975
- My intimate parts!
- Yes, I will stop it.
289
00:31:08,058 --> 00:31:09,267
It is off.
290
00:31:11,892 --> 00:31:13,600
For what you used it for...
291
00:31:14,808 --> 00:31:19,475
- What's there?
- There is a rotting whale.
292
00:31:19,558 --> 00:31:21,392
Where is the whale?
293
00:31:23,767 --> 00:31:26,850
Seven all together!
294
00:31:26,933 --> 00:31:29,558
Please, clean the octopus!
295
00:31:33,517 --> 00:31:36,767
Mullet, octopus, without any fantasy!
296
00:31:38,767 --> 00:31:43,058
This one is alive, who will kill it?
297
00:31:43,142 --> 00:31:44,517
- You.
- Me?
298
00:31:46,183 --> 00:31:48,642
I don't... Me, all right.
299
00:31:51,767 --> 00:31:55,267
Jerk, you let that...
300
00:31:56,767 --> 00:32:00,308
That... That jerk.
301
00:32:01,808 --> 00:32:04,308
Hooray! Hooray!
302
00:32:04,392 --> 00:32:09,767
If it was for those two,
we would have eaten dead rats
303
00:32:10,517 --> 00:32:12,892
like in the Battle of Stalingrad.
304
00:32:13,392 --> 00:32:16,558
- A glass in two. Madam?
- I don't drink.
305
00:32:16,642 --> 00:32:20,392
Luckily,
Franchino thought about the fish.
306
00:32:24,392 --> 00:32:28,183
Let's cheer for our Franchino!
307
00:32:28,267 --> 00:32:31,392
- Hooray!
- Hooray!
308
00:32:31,475 --> 00:32:33,725
Hooray! No?
309
00:32:34,642 --> 00:32:38,433
There is just one way
to end this lovely evening.
310
00:32:38,517 --> 00:32:42,725
Let's all take a swim naked!
311
00:32:42,808 --> 00:32:45,600
How wonderful! Who is in?
312
00:32:46,183 --> 00:32:48,975
- If you do it, I will do it too!
- Me too!
313
00:32:50,308 --> 00:32:53,350
- Pina?
- Well, yes!
314
00:32:53,433 --> 00:32:57,767
Excuse me. You are my wife.
315
00:32:57,850 --> 00:33:00,683
The wife of such
a piece of shit like you.
316
00:33:05,683 --> 00:33:06,683
Wait.
317
00:33:08,433 --> 00:33:11,267
How dare you? Excuse me?
318
00:33:11,850 --> 00:33:14,142
You can swim naked and she can't?
319
00:33:14,892 --> 00:33:19,308
It is absolutely different
because she is my wife.
320
00:33:19,392 --> 00:33:23,975
No, because with her
I have a relationship... I know.
321
00:33:24,058 --> 00:33:27,558
You know nothing, not even
in what world you live in.
322
00:33:27,642 --> 00:33:31,100
And you know why?
Because you have no culture.
323
00:33:31,183 --> 00:33:35,433
No, Franchino, I have a diploma.
324
00:33:35,517 --> 00:33:38,767
- Are you cultured?
- I am an accountant.
325
00:33:39,767 --> 00:33:43,308
- So, let's see...
- What are you doing?
326
00:33:44,058 --> 00:33:46,892
- So...
- My God!
327
00:33:48,392 --> 00:33:51,558
- Are you fond of literature...
- Yes.
328
00:33:52,142 --> 00:33:55,600
Science or just general knowledge?
329
00:33:55,683 --> 00:34:00,058
There are three envelopes,
I have to pick one of those.
330
00:34:00,142 --> 00:34:01,767
General knowledge.
331
00:34:02,308 --> 00:34:05,475
No, there is a toilet here.
332
00:34:05,558 --> 00:34:08,642
- All right.
- What is a prostate?
333
00:34:09,517 --> 00:34:12,225
This is very easy...
334
00:34:12,308 --> 00:34:15,850
The prostate is when
a woman has a small breast...
335
00:34:15,933 --> 00:34:17,933
And so she wants to enlarge it...
336
00:34:19,767 --> 00:34:21,683
Is it flushing?
337
00:34:21,767 --> 00:34:24,225
No, it is his armpit.
338
00:34:24,308 --> 00:34:29,683
So, I was saying that prostate
is when a woman
339
00:34:29,767 --> 00:34:32,642
wants to have a breast enlargement.
340
00:34:34,225 --> 00:34:37,308
No, here. I remember, I remember!
341
00:34:37,392 --> 00:34:40,725
Prostate is a pie
342
00:34:40,808 --> 00:34:45,642
made with blueberry, with pear...
343
00:34:47,350 --> 00:34:49,725
No, that's a Roman Emperor!
344
00:34:49,808 --> 00:34:53,642
{\an8}The Byzantine heretic,
Giuliano Laprostata.
345
00:34:54,683 --> 00:34:58,183
- And a knock-out?
- That is easy!
346
00:34:58,267 --> 00:35:00,308
What is a knock-out...
347
00:35:00,392 --> 00:35:04,683
{\an8}It is a typical expression
in rural countries.
348
00:35:04,767 --> 00:35:08,558
{\an8}When someone knocks
arrogantly on the door,
349
00:35:08,642 --> 00:35:12,017
{\an8}they go to the door and say:
Who knocks out?
350
00:35:12,100 --> 00:35:13,933
{\an8}It's a typical expression.
351
00:35:15,892 --> 00:35:18,100
Now you know what a shit you are.
352
00:35:24,392 --> 00:35:27,183
Ugo, I'm going for a swim.
353
00:35:27,267 --> 00:35:28,808
Naked.
354
00:35:31,017 --> 00:35:36,308
Fantozzi had the worst
ten minutes of his life.
355
00:35:36,392 --> 00:35:41,808
Then, as sometimes it happens
to those who are extremely unhappy,
356
00:35:41,892 --> 00:35:45,558
the situation turned to his favor.
357
00:35:45,641 --> 00:35:48,724
You and I are in love
with the same man, aren't we?
358
00:35:48,807 --> 00:35:50,807
Let's suppose that. And so?
359
00:35:51,767 --> 00:35:54,892
I wanted to tell you
that you won, Miss Silvani.
360
00:35:55,642 --> 00:36:00,517
Tonight I realized that
I'm too old to fight anymore.
361
00:36:02,517 --> 00:36:05,183
You can keep him.
362
00:36:05,725 --> 00:36:09,308
I don't need your permission,
or your sacrifice.
363
00:36:09,392 --> 00:36:12,682
I can have him whenever I want.
I will have him now, tonight!
364
00:36:17,932 --> 00:36:25,182
WASTE
365
00:36:37,142 --> 00:36:41,017
- Here I am!
- What? You don't knock?
366
00:36:41,100 --> 00:36:44,850
You were waiting for me. Take me!
367
00:36:45,433 --> 00:36:48,892
I will take your head and break it!
Out of my RV!
368
00:36:49,392 --> 00:36:51,433
Out of my RV!
369
00:36:51,517 --> 00:36:56,308
But... Excuse me,
why are you acting up?
370
00:36:56,392 --> 00:36:59,517
Also my wife agreed,
I heard everything.
371
00:37:00,308 --> 00:37:03,142
She said she was leaving me to you.
372
00:37:06,183 --> 00:37:09,933
Fantozzi, you heard everything
but you understood nothing.
373
00:37:10,767 --> 00:37:14,850
Do you think that your wife
was talking about you?
374
00:37:14,933 --> 00:37:17,517
What... Who was she talking about?
375
00:37:22,142 --> 00:37:25,017
I understand everything.
376
00:37:26,058 --> 00:37:29,183
Good night. Happy new year.
377
00:37:37,767 --> 00:37:38,767
Hi.
378
00:37:40,392 --> 00:37:41,892
How was the water?
379
00:37:43,392 --> 00:37:44,600
A little cold.
380
00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,517
Did you love him much?
381
00:37:52,308 --> 00:37:57,767
I don't know,
I would've liked to try.
382
00:38:00,183 --> 00:38:01,683
But, so...
383
00:38:02,433 --> 00:38:07,308
- It wasn't love?
- I don't know, Ugo. I told you.
384
00:38:09,183 --> 00:38:12,433
Yes, all right. You don't know it...
385
00:38:12,517 --> 00:38:17,308
I mean, if someone asked you
just for curiosity who is...
386
00:38:18,267 --> 00:38:23,183
Who is the man that you loved
the most in your life?
387
00:38:25,767 --> 00:38:31,683
Pina, what do you feel for me?
388
00:38:32,308 --> 00:38:36,808
- Ugo, I only feel...
- I know, I know.
389
00:38:37,517 --> 00:38:40,308
You just feel
a little bit of tenderness.
390
00:38:40,392 --> 00:38:44,058
- No, Ugo, just a bit of pity.
- But...
391
00:38:44,767 --> 00:38:46,392
Who loves me?
392
00:38:47,017 --> 00:38:49,392
Other than a marriage crisis,
393
00:38:49,475 --> 00:38:53,142
the drama of getting older
and of having unfulfilled dreams,
394
00:38:53,225 --> 00:38:58,350
even more difficult challenges were
awaiting Mr. and Mrs. Fantozzi.
395
00:39:09,017 --> 00:39:11,350
Hi, Pina.
Dinner is not ready?!
396
00:39:11,433 --> 00:39:16,558
It's 8:30, I am hungry!
I am tired and I have worked all day!
397
00:39:19,017 --> 00:39:22,767
Come on,
I just said that I am hungry.
398
00:39:23,642 --> 00:39:27,850
It's not for you,
it's for Mariangela.
399
00:39:27,933 --> 00:39:31,683
- She didn't get her period.
- An even better one will start!
400
00:39:31,767 --> 00:39:35,433
- She doesn't have it anymore!
- After a period comes another!
401
00:39:35,517 --> 00:39:38,933
She doesn't have
her menstruation anymore!
402
00:39:39,017 --> 00:39:43,475
Who talked?
What! Her menstruation?
403
00:39:43,558 --> 00:39:48,767
Excuse me, also Mariangela
has everything else.
404
00:39:48,850 --> 00:39:52,392
Ugo, she is a girl
like everyone else!
405
00:39:54,183 --> 00:39:56,767
I mean, almost like everyone else.
406
00:39:57,392 --> 00:39:59,725
- Do you see this colored circle?
- Where?
407
00:39:59,808 --> 00:40:02,767
Here. It means
that she is expecting.
408
00:40:02,850 --> 00:40:06,058
Expecting? For what?
We can't wait, I'm hungry!
409
00:40:06,142 --> 00:40:10,517
- Ugo, she is pregnant!
- You have already told me that...
410
00:40:15,267 --> 00:40:16,350
By who...
411
00:40:17,142 --> 00:40:19,558
Who are we pregnant by?
412
00:40:21,017 --> 00:40:24,058
Poor girl,
she didn't want to tell me.
413
00:40:24,642 --> 00:40:28,933
She is in a room,
she is afraid of you.
414
00:40:29,017 --> 00:40:31,100
- Ugo.
- What?
415
00:40:31,642 --> 00:40:36,225
Please, you know that I am
a modern and reasonable father.
416
00:40:36,308 --> 00:40:40,100
I want to face this situation alone,
with comprehension and sweetness.
417
00:40:40,183 --> 00:40:42,767
Do you understand?
Let me do it by myself.
418
00:40:48,017 --> 00:40:51,433
No, Dad! Help me, Mom!
419
00:40:51,517 --> 00:40:54,975
I will kill you! You don't know
what I am capable of!
420
00:40:55,058 --> 00:40:58,392
- Come here, I will kill you!
- No! No!
421
00:40:59,642 --> 00:41:04,475
Stop! My poor baby!
Come on, honey. It's nothing.
422
00:41:04,558 --> 00:41:06,475
Come on, Mariangela.
423
00:41:07,058 --> 00:41:08,183
Is she breathing?
424
00:41:09,267 --> 00:41:12,517
Is this how you are behaving
like a modern father?
425
00:41:13,558 --> 00:41:17,558
Just around 11 o'clock,
Mariangela confessed
426
00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:22,100
that it was a colleague,
Loris Batacchi.
427
00:41:22,183 --> 00:41:24,933
They went to his house.
428
00:41:25,017 --> 00:41:28,975
They also thought about
a genius plan to make him confess
429
00:41:29,058 --> 00:41:34,808
and make him take his responsibility.
430
00:41:36,017 --> 00:41:40,642
I'm coming, my love!
How impatient are you!
431
00:41:41,392 --> 00:41:45,225
Excuse me, I was waiting
for a woman. Can I help you?
432
00:41:45,308 --> 00:41:48,308
We are members
of the Youth Protection Committee.
433
00:41:48,392 --> 00:41:52,600
Then you must be full of stuff!
Come in, I'm interested.
434
00:41:52,683 --> 00:41:54,892
Miss, come in, don't be scared.
435
00:41:57,392 --> 00:41:59,517
I'm Loris Batacchi.
436
00:42:00,225 --> 00:42:02,183
- What are you doing?
- I kiss her hand.
437
00:42:02,267 --> 00:42:04,600
- So, these little girls...
- What?
438
00:42:04,683 --> 00:42:08,933
- This is an investigative report.
- On dangers for young girls.
439
00:42:09,017 --> 00:42:13,225
- Seducers.
- You are very lucky!
440
00:42:13,308 --> 00:42:16,433
You came to the top,
the best of the best!
441
00:42:16,517 --> 00:42:19,308
Please, sit down. Miss, sit down.
442
00:42:19,392 --> 00:42:23,933
If there was a club for ladies' men,
I would be the president!
443
00:42:24,017 --> 00:42:28,517
Six thousand victims! It's almost
the population of a little town.
444
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:32,933
- My compliments.
- Not to brag, but I deserve them.
445
00:42:33,017 --> 00:42:37,100
No, this is optional,
I have all that is needed.
446
00:42:37,183 --> 00:42:39,058
Here, have fun!
447
00:42:39,142 --> 00:42:41,808
- Take it, it doesn't bite!
- What should I do with it?
448
00:42:41,892 --> 00:42:46,183
It is a little messy here,
but this is my office.
449
00:42:46,267 --> 00:42:48,808
Ask me all that you want.
450
00:42:48,892 --> 00:42:52,308
I will not answer tongue in cheek.
For now...
451
00:42:52,392 --> 00:42:55,058
- No!
- Did you understand?
452
00:42:55,142 --> 00:42:58,600
- Kindly excuse me...
- We will give this to the lady!
453
00:42:58,683 --> 00:43:01,683
No, I will keep this.
454
00:43:01,767 --> 00:43:05,600
Can you tell me where you work?
455
00:43:05,683 --> 00:43:08,933
I work at the post office.
I take care of packages.
456
00:43:09,017 --> 00:43:12,308
- Wait!
- I wanted to explain better.
457
00:43:12,392 --> 00:43:16,058
Can you explain yourself
in a more proper way?
458
00:43:16,142 --> 00:43:19,308
- This is really appropriate for me.
- I meant for my wife.
459
00:43:19,392 --> 00:43:21,683
Do you know Miss Fantozzi?
460
00:43:22,267 --> 00:43:25,183
- Mariangela Fantozzi.
- Mariangela Fantossi...
461
00:43:25,267 --> 00:43:28,475
- Fantozzi!
- So, Fantossi...
462
00:43:28,558 --> 00:43:31,767
- Fantozzi!
- Yes, it's a Z, I understand!
463
00:43:32,517 --> 00:43:37,350
Let me check my archives,
all my women are here!
464
00:43:37,433 --> 00:43:40,017
Excuse me, what do you do?
465
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:44,267
- I take care of packages!
- Yes, you said this before!
466
00:43:44,350 --> 00:43:47,017
Here we go, Fantozzi Mariangela.
467
00:43:47,517 --> 00:43:50,725
Yes, she is a colleague.
She works under me.
468
00:43:51,475 --> 00:43:54,475
And you said that you are
from the Youth Protection?
469
00:43:55,558 --> 00:43:59,725
{\an8}Liars! You are from
the Animal Protection!
470
00:43:59,808 --> 00:44:01,517
{\an8}What is this?
471
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,433
- She is funny.
- Yes!
472
00:44:04,517 --> 00:44:07,475
She's a funny kind of monkey!
Ugliest in Europe!
473
00:44:08,058 --> 00:44:11,183
- Well...
- It was a great satisfaction.
474
00:44:11,267 --> 00:44:15,142
It was a desperate mission,
I made a bet with my friends.
475
00:44:15,225 --> 00:44:18,142
One million if I'd bang the monkey!
476
00:44:18,725 --> 00:44:20,350
- That's Mariangela.
- Exactly!
477
00:44:20,433 --> 00:44:23,558
No, this is a monkey, not Mariangela!
478
00:44:23,642 --> 00:44:25,725
I will tell you how it went.
479
00:44:25,808 --> 00:44:29,850
I did it in the dark,
otherwise not even I could do it.
480
00:44:29,933 --> 00:44:32,725
- What?
- We were in the sacks warehouse,
481
00:44:32,808 --> 00:44:36,100
it was dark, outside there was a storm,
I put her there
482
00:44:36,183 --> 00:44:39,725
and so I just blindly took her!
483
00:44:39,808 --> 00:44:42,850
I trusted the beast!
484
00:44:42,933 --> 00:44:43,975
- Mariangela?
- Ugo!
485
00:44:44,058 --> 00:44:47,350
- No, I mean the girl.
- No, my snake.
486
00:44:47,433 --> 00:44:50,600
I told you,
in the box there is my snake.
487
00:44:50,683 --> 00:44:56,100
It's a snake that blows up,
comes out and never stops!
488
00:44:56,183 --> 00:44:59,183
- You know this, right?
- Please, Ugo, do something.
489
00:44:59,267 --> 00:45:02,350
- Sir, please...
- Yes, tell me.
490
00:45:02,433 --> 00:45:06,350
For the second time I remind you
to use a more civil language
491
00:45:06,433 --> 00:45:09,058
- with my wife.
- Why?
492
00:45:09,142 --> 00:45:12,225
Because my wife
isn't used to such stories.
493
00:45:12,308 --> 00:45:15,058
- I will make her get used to them!
- No, stop!
494
00:45:15,142 --> 00:45:18,433
- Yes?
- Me and my wife,
495
00:45:18,517 --> 00:45:20,808
we are Mariangela's parents.
496
00:45:20,892 --> 00:45:24,600
- Of the monkey?
- This lady is my wife.
497
00:45:24,683 --> 00:45:26,600
Is she the mother?
498
00:45:26,683 --> 00:45:29,725
Look what a beautiful mom we got!
499
00:45:29,808 --> 00:45:33,767
How are you? You must be someone
who doesn't come very much!
500
00:45:33,850 --> 00:45:36,433
- What?
- I'll take care of you!
501
00:45:36,517 --> 00:45:40,808
- Beautiful, how old are you? 49?
- 44.
502
00:45:40,892 --> 00:45:45,558
I will take care of you,
you stay with me for a week.
503
00:45:45,642 --> 00:45:49,808
I will change your hair,
I will make you turn blonde!
504
00:45:49,892 --> 00:45:51,808
- Please!
- They used to call me
505
00:45:51,892 --> 00:45:55,933
Crazy Tongue!
I will make you go crazy.
506
00:45:56,017 --> 00:45:58,017
I will change her completely!
507
00:45:58,100 --> 00:46:02,058
I have a collection
of pornographic pictures
508
00:46:02,142 --> 00:46:04,767
with every position.
509
00:46:04,850 --> 00:46:09,683
I will re-create
every picture with her.
510
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:14,725
Rascal! Re-create
these pictures with your sister!
511
00:46:14,808 --> 00:46:18,183
- Exactly!
- A sister? Does she have a sister?
512
00:46:18,267 --> 00:46:21,183
- What?
- Bring your sister as well.
513
00:46:21,267 --> 00:46:24,517
- Hands to yourself.
- I will bang your sister too.
514
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,600
- I will make her go blonde as well.
- How dare you?
515
00:46:27,683 --> 00:46:31,267
They call me Crazy Tongue
and you know what I will do?
516
00:46:31,350 --> 00:46:34,933
I take her and her sister
and I will put them both here.
517
00:46:35,017 --> 00:46:37,058
- Pay attention, I will show you.
- Yes.
518
00:46:37,142 --> 00:46:41,308
I will take them like this,
then I will rip this off.
519
00:46:41,392 --> 00:46:45,308
I rip this off and then
I put them both here.
520
00:46:45,392 --> 00:46:49,058
One here and one there
and then I start with my tongue!
521
00:46:49,142 --> 00:46:53,058
Come as well, I'll make you go crazy!
522
00:46:53,142 --> 00:46:56,100
- I will use my tongue!
- I'm leaving!
523
00:46:56,183 --> 00:46:59,558
You stay here with me,
I will add you to my archives!
524
00:46:59,642 --> 00:47:02,725
Do you have a picture? We can use
the one on your driving license.
525
00:47:02,808 --> 00:47:06,100
- Ugo, don't be too friendly!
- I will use my tongue!
526
00:47:06,183 --> 00:47:09,433
I am a manly man
and I have big balls!
527
00:47:09,517 --> 00:47:11,475
- Where were we?
- Let's go away.
528
00:47:11,558 --> 00:47:15,808
Yes, but we are pregnant.
I mean, what about Mariangela?
529
00:47:15,892 --> 00:47:17,725
Do you want to marry her
to someone like that?
530
00:47:17,808 --> 00:47:22,558
Yes, even more difficult!
I will add this one too!
531
00:47:22,642 --> 00:47:29,683
No! Do you know what?
We don't care about your chestnuts.
532
00:47:29,767 --> 00:47:32,850
- Nuts.
- Your nuts and your tongue!
533
00:47:32,933 --> 00:47:34,308
Goodbye.
534
00:47:34,392 --> 00:47:37,017
- Could I really go crazy?
- Let's go!
535
00:47:39,475 --> 00:47:42,433
Trying to save her
from being a single mother,
536
00:47:42,517 --> 00:47:46,433
they resorted
to a pregnancy termination.
537
00:47:46,517 --> 00:47:51,975
Fantozzi made an appointment
with Dr. Gandini, a gynecologist
538
00:47:52,058 --> 00:47:56,808
who was recommended to him
by an illegal parking attendant.
539
00:47:57,933 --> 00:48:01,225
Good morning, do you want to make
a good deal? I have a fresh liver.
540
00:48:01,308 --> 00:48:04,183
- And a heart also.
- No!
541
00:48:05,767 --> 00:48:08,683
- I'm not interested.
- It's a one-time deal!
542
00:48:08,767 --> 00:48:11,642
- I don't care.
- You may need it someday!
543
00:48:12,225 --> 00:48:13,933
- Goodbye.
- Do you need blood?
544
00:48:14,017 --> 00:48:17,183
I even have Rh negative
for a very good price.
545
00:48:17,267 --> 00:48:20,767
I have a place in dialysis.
Six million and it's yours.
546
00:48:26,933 --> 00:48:32,725
In order to get free, Fantozzi
bought the cheapest thing,
547
00:48:32,808 --> 00:48:37,100
2 liters of souped-up urine
to avoid military service.
548
00:48:37,183 --> 00:48:39,517
Excuse me, listen.
549
00:48:41,100 --> 00:48:43,892
He took all the money
from his bank account
550
00:48:43,975 --> 00:48:48,808
because they told him that he
would have to bribe someone.
551
00:48:51,517 --> 00:48:53,142
- Excuse me...
- Ten thousand.
552
00:48:56,267 --> 00:49:00,100
Here, I brought an envelope
with all my savings.
553
00:49:00,183 --> 00:49:03,725
Here is 10,000. Excuse me,
I have an appointment with...
554
00:49:03,808 --> 00:49:06,642
- Thirty thousand.
- With Dr. Sarace.
555
00:49:07,225 --> 00:49:09,558
One, two and three.
556
00:49:09,642 --> 00:49:12,475
The doctor isn't here.
He is on vacation.
557
00:49:12,558 --> 00:49:16,183
First I gave you 10,000,
now 30,000, so...
558
00:49:16,267 --> 00:49:19,808
I have to give the money right away
to the doctor in Cortina.
559
00:49:19,892 --> 00:49:21,225
I must wire him the money.
560
00:49:22,017 --> 00:49:26,350
- You will send...
- Give me 500 lira for the stamp.
561
00:49:27,350 --> 00:49:29,683
Yes, right. I didn't think of that.
562
00:49:29,767 --> 00:49:33,475
I will give you 10,000 lira
so you will give me the change.
563
00:49:35,058 --> 00:49:37,850
You put them away...
You don't give change.
564
00:49:37,933 --> 00:49:39,100
All right,
565
00:49:39,183 --> 00:49:45,433
I will use the rest of the money
to ask you who is his substitute.
566
00:49:45,517 --> 00:49:47,808
- Giovanni Rava.
- Where is he?
567
00:49:47,892 --> 00:49:50,683
- He isn't here, he is on strike.
- Strike?
568
00:49:50,767 --> 00:49:54,058
- Is it urgent?
- Yes, it is...
569
00:49:54,142 --> 00:49:55,267
One hundred thousand.
570
00:49:55,975 --> 00:49:58,517
This is a desperate case.
All right, 100,000.
571
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:02,808
For such money, Fantozzi
found out that for urgent cases,
572
00:50:02,892 --> 00:50:05,933
the doctor in charge
of the gynecology ward
573
00:50:06,017 --> 00:50:09,267
was Dr. Grandi, an orthopedist.
574
00:50:09,350 --> 00:50:11,475
Same floor, after radiology.
575
00:50:11,558 --> 00:50:15,308
Same floor. Thank you,
you have been very kind.
576
00:50:16,058 --> 00:50:17,642
Goodbye, Miss.
577
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,642
- Goodbye, Miss.
- Goodbye.
578
00:50:24,808 --> 00:50:28,808
- Here! Doctor!
- My wife is at the second...
579
00:50:28,892 --> 00:50:32,642
- No, I'm not the doctor.
- Doctor, please help me!
580
00:50:32,725 --> 00:50:37,433
Silence, enough! Go away!
Don't you see he is not the doctor?
581
00:50:38,642 --> 00:50:41,058
Don't you see that he's
a poor handicapped man?
582
00:50:41,142 --> 00:50:45,933
- Come, I will take you to your ward.
- No, there is a mistake.
583
00:50:46,017 --> 00:50:49,308
- Come, dear, come to your room.
- What are you talking about?
584
00:50:49,392 --> 00:50:52,600
- No, I have to go that way.
- We will take care of you!
585
00:50:52,683 --> 00:50:55,433
- I have an important appointment.
- Calm down!
586
00:50:55,517 --> 00:50:57,933
- Come!
- Please, let go of me!
587
00:50:58,017 --> 00:51:01,017
- Don't you resist me!
- Sister, let me go!
588
00:51:03,392 --> 00:51:06,058
Excuse me... What are you doing?
589
00:51:06,142 --> 00:51:08,350
It's impossible! Sister!
590
00:51:12,183 --> 00:51:16,142
Sister...
All right, I will explain to you later.
591
00:51:17,267 --> 00:51:21,058
You are lucky,
here you are all lucky.
592
00:51:21,142 --> 00:51:25,975
Our doctors are checking you
with modern machines,
593
00:51:26,058 --> 00:51:28,683
the latest technology.
594
00:51:32,142 --> 00:51:33,683
Don't worry.
595
00:51:36,100 --> 00:51:37,642
Have a good day.
596
00:51:40,725 --> 00:51:42,517
- Excuse me, can you tell me...
- Shh!
597
00:51:51,392 --> 00:51:53,308
Come on! Come on!
598
00:51:53,392 --> 00:51:55,100
Come on!
599
00:51:55,183 --> 00:51:59,017
- Hooray! I won!
- Yes! Now you have to pay!
600
00:51:59,933 --> 00:52:02,017
ORTHOPEDICS
601
00:52:21,058 --> 00:52:22,558
Just one moment.
602
00:52:26,725 --> 00:52:28,183
{\an8}Here it is.
603
00:52:28,975 --> 00:52:30,975
THE DOCTOR IS IN THE WARD
604
00:52:35,058 --> 00:52:37,058
- Here.
- Thank you.
605
00:52:37,142 --> 00:52:41,308
- Excuse me, where is the ward?
- And you are asking me?
606
00:52:41,975 --> 00:52:46,558
What? Don't you work here?
607
00:52:46,642 --> 00:52:50,683
Me? What are you talking about?
I work at a pizza place.
608
00:52:50,767 --> 00:52:54,683
I came to see my mother,
she is so sick!
609
00:53:01,308 --> 00:53:02,433
My handicapped man!
610
00:53:03,308 --> 00:53:05,308
No! It's you again!
611
00:53:06,558 --> 00:53:08,308
Wait a second.
612
00:53:11,267 --> 00:53:13,267
No, you are hurting me!
613
00:53:16,808 --> 00:53:19,017
Sister, I am not handicapped.
614
00:53:19,558 --> 00:53:23,308
- Here!
- We might hurt ourselves.
615
00:53:23,392 --> 00:53:25,642
- Now come to the ward.
- What ward?
616
00:53:26,267 --> 00:53:28,933
Wait! No!
617
00:53:29,017 --> 00:53:31,142
- Look what is down here.
- No!
618
00:53:42,350 --> 00:53:44,642
- Did you get everything?
- Yes, doctor.
619
00:53:44,725 --> 00:53:47,808
- Well, we will need some time.
- Yes, you are right.
620
00:53:47,892 --> 00:53:50,308
It is better to keep him here
for a day.
621
00:53:50,392 --> 00:53:54,308
Excuse me.
Mr. Professor, Engineer Grandi.
622
00:53:54,392 --> 00:53:56,808
- "Mahatma Grandi".
- Yes?
623
00:53:57,475 --> 00:53:59,475
- What is that?
- It's 50,000 lira.
624
00:53:59,558 --> 00:54:01,933
How dare you? Put them away now!
625
00:54:02,017 --> 00:54:05,058
- Excuse me, I didn't know that...
- What do you want?
626
00:54:05,142 --> 00:54:09,808
Unfortunately I'm here
for a pregnancy termination.
627
00:54:09,892 --> 00:54:13,975
No, it's not for me,
it's for my monkey... My daughter.
628
00:54:14,058 --> 00:54:15,683
No, never!
629
00:54:15,767 --> 00:54:19,433
I'm sorry, I didn't know. But with
the new law, everybody can...
630
00:54:19,517 --> 00:54:23,433
I'm a Catholic, a conscientious
objector and an orthopedist.
631
00:54:23,517 --> 00:54:25,975
I'm ignorant of that subject.
632
00:54:26,058 --> 00:54:30,808
Yes, but they told me that you are
the substitute for the gynecologist.
633
00:54:30,892 --> 00:54:35,433
I do what I can, but I have
a high percentage of mistakes.
634
00:54:35,517 --> 00:54:38,725
- What?
- Listen, dear. Do something.
635
00:54:38,808 --> 00:54:42,558
Wait until Dr. Marini comes back.
636
00:54:42,642 --> 00:54:46,683
- What should I do in the meantime?
- You can reserve a bed.
637
00:54:46,767 --> 00:54:50,517
- How long should I wait?
- Two years if everything goes right.
638
00:54:52,517 --> 00:54:57,933
Two years?
But a pregnancy takes nine months!
639
00:54:58,017 --> 00:55:01,308
- Really?
- You don't know that?
640
00:55:01,392 --> 00:55:04,683
I told you that I am an orthopedist.
Nine months?
641
00:55:04,767 --> 00:55:08,558
Yours is an urgent case then.
Do you have one million?
642
00:55:08,642 --> 00:55:11,808
- Wait... Yes.
- Good, let me see it.
643
00:55:11,892 --> 00:55:14,600
Excuse me, doctor.
Let me ask you a question.
644
00:55:14,683 --> 00:55:18,683
- You didn't want 50,000 before...
- Because it was 50,000 lira.
645
00:55:18,767 --> 00:55:22,308
Did you take me for a nurse, dear?
646
00:55:22,392 --> 00:55:24,600
- Here.
- No, I will not touch it!
647
00:55:24,683 --> 00:55:28,808
You are all witnesses to that!
Give it to the sister. Bye, dear.
648
00:55:28,892 --> 00:55:31,892
- Sister, give him a single room.
- Right, then...
649
00:55:32,933 --> 00:55:36,933
The room in which Fantozzi
spent the night
650
00:55:37,017 --> 00:55:41,142
wasn't a single room,
but the feared surgery room
651
00:55:41,225 --> 00:55:45,725
of Dr. Zambrini Loredan,
also known as "Jack the Ripper".
652
00:55:45,808 --> 00:55:48,308
- What happened?
- Shut up.
653
00:55:48,392 --> 00:55:50,475
- Sister, have mercy.
- Don't move.
654
00:55:51,058 --> 00:55:53,975
There is a mistake,
I am here for my daughter.
655
00:55:54,058 --> 00:55:58,475
- We know why you are here.
- What do you want to do to me?
656
00:56:02,433 --> 00:56:06,767
Don't do that, my bladder is weak.
657
00:56:16,392 --> 00:56:18,642
- Well done.
- Good.
658
00:56:22,683 --> 00:56:25,267
- Scalpel.
- Scalpel?
659
00:56:26,933 --> 00:56:28,433
Did he hurt you?
660
00:56:31,058 --> 00:56:33,767
- What are we doing?
- I don't know.
661
00:56:34,767 --> 00:56:37,683
- Chart.
- Doctor. Doctor.
662
00:56:37,767 --> 00:56:39,433
I don't have one.
663
00:56:44,933 --> 00:56:47,392
His chart isn't here.
664
00:56:47,475 --> 00:56:49,392
- His chart isn't there?
- It's not here.
665
00:56:49,475 --> 00:56:53,767
I heard that we have to cut off
something with three letters.
666
00:56:54,392 --> 00:56:56,600
Three letters, three letters...
667
00:56:56,683 --> 00:56:58,058
Arm...
668
00:56:59,267 --> 00:57:03,058
- Let's cut off his arm!
- What? An arm?
669
00:57:04,808 --> 00:57:06,933
- No, my arm, no!
- Good.
670
00:57:08,017 --> 00:57:10,850
- It could also be a leg.
- Well, I'll get ready.
671
00:57:10,933 --> 00:57:14,183
I'm not sure, I'll cut them both.
672
00:57:14,892 --> 00:57:16,517
Not both!
673
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:21,558
The janitor said it was something
with four letters, not three.
674
00:57:22,683 --> 00:57:27,183
Guys! Then it could be a knee.
675
00:57:27,267 --> 00:57:31,267
Or his foot, his hand.
Even his head!
676
00:57:33,183 --> 00:57:34,892
- Shut up!
- Excuse me.
677
00:57:34,975 --> 00:57:36,475
Wait, doctor.
678
00:57:37,100 --> 00:57:40,558
- Yes, it's his chart.
- The chart!
679
00:57:40,642 --> 00:57:42,808
- Here, doctor.
- Good job! Beautiful!
680
00:57:42,892 --> 00:57:45,808
Good! Firm! A firm sister!
681
00:57:45,892 --> 00:57:47,933
- Yes!
- Doctor!
682
00:57:48,017 --> 00:57:51,183
- What are you doing?
- I had a moment...
683
00:57:51,267 --> 00:57:54,100
Excuse me, it's hot in here.
684
00:57:54,183 --> 00:57:55,683
The chart.
685
00:57:55,767 --> 00:57:58,558
The chart belonged
to Baccellari Vincenzo.
686
00:57:59,267 --> 00:58:00,933
Extra big scissors.
687
00:58:01,017 --> 00:58:03,308
He was a famous transvestite
688
00:58:03,392 --> 00:58:09,392
who went to the hospital
to fulfill his dream of becoming a woman.
689
00:58:09,475 --> 00:58:10,975
He is like a doll.
690
00:58:12,558 --> 00:58:15,767
Here it is! Extra small scissors!
691
00:58:17,142 --> 00:58:18,725
- Here.
- Magnifying glass.
692
00:58:22,183 --> 00:58:26,933
To denounce that tragic mistake
and get back what they took,
693
00:58:27,017 --> 00:58:29,725
{\an8}Fantozzi wrote a letter
to the President of the Republic.
694
00:58:29,808 --> 00:58:30,683
{\an8}OPERATING ROOM
695
00:58:30,767 --> 00:58:33,142
{\an8}Thanks to that high intervention,
696
00:58:33,225 --> 00:58:38,600
{\an8}Fantozzi was able to get his tool back
697
00:58:38,683 --> 00:58:42,058
{\an8}that was just about to be used
698
00:58:42,142 --> 00:58:46,142
{\an8}as a toe for a carpenter
who cut his off.
699
00:58:46,225 --> 00:58:51,017
When Fantozzi got out of the hospital
Mariangela was about to give birth.
700
00:58:55,392 --> 00:58:58,933
Dad! Mom! It's moving!
701
00:58:59,475 --> 00:59:02,517
Where? Who is moving?
702
00:59:04,558 --> 00:59:06,100
What's there?
703
00:59:06,183 --> 00:59:09,892
- He kicked me!
- Let me feel it.
704
00:59:14,058 --> 00:59:17,600
It's just... kicks!
705
00:59:17,683 --> 00:59:21,558
Two days later, she went into labor.
706
00:59:24,892 --> 00:59:26,600
Here it is!
707
00:59:26,683 --> 00:59:29,392
- What shall we do?
- Wait, I'll stop it.
708
00:59:30,892 --> 00:59:33,558
Here, round the corner! Come!
709
00:59:46,142 --> 00:59:51,392
Fantozzi was forced to take
the nurses to the hospital.
710
01:00:01,267 --> 01:00:02,683
Here it is!
711
01:00:04,642 --> 01:00:06,892
Mr. Rossi, it's a boy.
712
01:00:08,933 --> 01:00:11,183
- Mr. Rossi?
- Aren't you Mr. Rossi?
713
01:00:11,267 --> 01:00:15,767
- No, my name is Fantozzi.
- I'm sorry. Where is Mr. Rossi?
714
01:00:16,642 --> 01:00:19,808
It happens. You're next.
715
01:00:20,683 --> 01:00:22,933
Have no fear.
716
01:00:23,017 --> 01:00:26,850
Mr. Fantozzi,
childbirth is a part of nature.
717
01:00:26,933 --> 01:00:32,183
Birth is beautiful,
it's beautiful, it's beautiful!
718
01:00:37,767 --> 01:00:41,642
- What will this baby look like?
- Gorgeous.
719
01:00:42,517 --> 01:00:46,392
Do you remember how cute
Mariangela was when she was born?
720
01:00:58,142 --> 01:01:00,767
Hurry, the doctor fainted!
721
01:01:01,642 --> 01:01:05,642
- Oh, God!
- What happened...
722
01:01:11,808 --> 01:01:13,433
Here he is!
723
01:01:15,433 --> 01:01:17,642
- Yes!
- Yes, us two!
724
01:01:19,183 --> 01:01:20,642
What's he doing?
725
01:01:25,392 --> 01:01:27,392
Pina, what is that?
726
01:01:30,892 --> 01:01:35,767
For our grandfather:
Hip, hip, hurray!
727
01:01:36,392 --> 01:01:38,308
- Good!
- Congratulations!
728
01:01:38,392 --> 01:01:42,850
- Cheers!
- Accountant, is it a girl or a boy?
729
01:01:44,767 --> 01:01:47,808
So... this... him...
730
01:01:47,892 --> 01:01:51,683
- The doctors still haven't decided.
- Okay.
731
01:01:51,767 --> 01:01:53,433
Who does it look like?
732
01:01:54,392 --> 01:01:57,933
It doesn't look anything like me.
733
01:01:58,017 --> 01:02:02,058
Tell us what it looks like at least.
734
01:02:02,142 --> 01:02:06,142
- It... That...
- Newborn.
735
01:02:06,767 --> 01:02:10,767
This newborn has a...
736
01:02:12,267 --> 01:02:14,100
- A nose?
- No, it's not a nose,
737
01:02:14,183 --> 01:02:17,058
- that's the part behind.
- The nose is behind?
738
01:02:17,142 --> 01:02:20,933
- Yes, one can...
- Turn it upside down?
739
01:02:21,017 --> 01:02:25,017
- And it has...
- Bumps?
740
01:02:27,392 --> 01:02:30,058
- It's a bird?
- No.
741
01:02:30,642 --> 01:02:33,683
- It's like a...
- A trombone?
742
01:02:33,767 --> 01:02:35,892
- It plays the trombone?
- No.
743
01:02:37,142 --> 01:02:39,683
Accountant, don't you have a photo?
744
01:02:39,767 --> 01:02:41,767
With a trombone?
745
01:02:41,850 --> 01:02:45,350
I have a... It's a surprise!
746
01:02:45,433 --> 01:02:49,058
Let us see, come on!
Well, well, well.
747
01:02:49,142 --> 01:02:51,683
Here. Wait...
748
01:02:51,767 --> 01:02:55,558
- Show it better.
- One moment, I don't remember...
749
01:02:55,642 --> 01:02:59,100
- We need to mark the side.
- Maybe the other side.
750
01:02:59,183 --> 01:03:02,642
- You say it's like that?
- Here.
751
01:03:05,142 --> 01:03:08,642
What are you doing?
What's this noise?
752
01:03:09,392 --> 01:03:12,808
- We are looking at a photo of...
- I want to see it!
753
01:03:12,892 --> 01:03:14,683
- You want?
- Yes!
754
01:03:14,767 --> 01:03:16,767
No, it's not...
755
01:03:20,767 --> 01:03:23,933
For over 20 years,
Accountant Fonelli,
756
01:03:24,017 --> 01:03:27,058
who was a big fan of athletics,
757
01:03:27,142 --> 01:03:30,850
and when young had been
a mediocre runner,
758
01:03:30,933 --> 01:03:37,392
was trying in vain to arrange
an amateur athletics event.
759
01:03:38,183 --> 01:03:43,308
We decided to participate
in the same contest.
760
01:03:43,392 --> 01:03:47,558
- Okay, what contest?
- Shittus throw!
761
01:03:48,683 --> 01:03:51,225
Put me down! Leave me alone!
762
01:03:51,308 --> 01:03:54,142
Put me down! Jerks!
763
01:03:56,017 --> 01:04:00,808
Leave! Go play with a ball!
764
01:04:00,892 --> 01:04:04,683
Go to the stadium to watch a match!
765
01:04:04,767 --> 01:04:08,642
You don't know anything,
athletics is the queen of sports!
766
01:04:09,225 --> 01:04:10,767
Fonelli!
767
01:04:25,392 --> 01:04:28,433
- What happened?
- Thief! Thief!
768
01:04:28,517 --> 01:04:31,183
{\an8}- That's not my car.
- Mine neither, sir.
769
01:04:31,267 --> 01:04:35,308
{\an8}- What's that, a car alarm?
- No, it's not a car alarm.
770
01:04:35,392 --> 01:04:38,225
{\an8}It's coming from up there,
it's a house alarm.
771
01:04:38,308 --> 01:04:41,433
{\an8}- Silence!
- I can't sleep anymore!
772
01:04:41,517 --> 01:04:45,683
- Enough, turn that sound off!
- Let me sleep!
773
01:04:45,767 --> 01:04:51,767
It wasn't an alarm,
it was the crying of Mariangela's baby
774
01:04:52,517 --> 01:04:57,225
who would always do this
on a full moon night.
775
01:04:57,308 --> 01:05:01,683
The family knew this
and so they were prepared.
776
01:05:01,767 --> 01:05:05,850
So, they didn't even
hear the telephone.
777
01:05:05,933 --> 01:05:10,225
It was Mr. Filini,
who for the whole night,
778
01:05:10,308 --> 01:05:15,308
tried to give Fantozzi
the most terrifying of news.
779
01:05:15,392 --> 01:05:19,350
Through a series of
blackmail and spying,
780
01:05:19,433 --> 01:05:24,308
connections to the mafia,
terrorists and freemasonry,
781
01:05:24,392 --> 01:05:28,850
and with four lifetime subscriptions
to "Christian Family",
782
01:05:28,933 --> 01:05:32,058
harmless accountant Fonelli
783
01:05:32,142 --> 01:05:38,433
had been suddenly nominated
Mega Natural Human Resource Director.
784
01:05:38,517 --> 01:05:43,183
He took the name
of Cobram the Second.
785
01:05:44,392 --> 01:05:47,558
Dear subordinates,
I see with pleasure
786
01:05:47,642 --> 01:05:51,100
that finally you all agree
787
01:05:51,183 --> 01:05:53,933
about the beauty of sport,
788
01:05:54,017 --> 01:05:57,433
about how important
it is to practice it,
789
01:05:57,517 --> 01:06:00,058
and about the teachings
of De Coubertin.
790
01:06:00,142 --> 01:06:02,850
Athletics is the queen of sports.
791
01:06:02,933 --> 01:06:03,975
Fonelli!
792
01:06:06,308 --> 01:06:09,933
The queen of sports!
I propose a "shittus throw"!
793
01:06:10,017 --> 01:06:13,642
Look how you are dressed!
Like a boss?
794
01:06:31,350 --> 01:06:35,308
ADMINISTRATION OFFICE
795
01:06:35,392 --> 01:06:39,350
BRIBES AND BACKINGS OFFICE
796
01:06:39,433 --> 01:06:43,850
THEFT AND BLACKMAIL OFFICE
797
01:06:43,933 --> 01:06:46,850
ACCIDENT OFFICE
798
01:07:33,767 --> 01:07:36,267
Look, there's Grandpa!
799
01:08:00,017 --> 01:08:03,433
I declare open
the first office games.
800
01:08:04,017 --> 01:08:05,392
Remember,
801
01:08:06,308 --> 01:08:09,975
it's important to not
just participate, but to win!
802
01:08:10,058 --> 01:08:15,392
To the winning team
there will be no prize or songs,
803
01:08:15,475 --> 01:08:17,725
or honor, or trophies.
804
01:08:18,308 --> 01:08:23,350
Instead, all members
of the losing team
805
01:08:24,017 --> 01:08:30,892
will be transferred to our mine
at Small Rock in Sardinia
806
01:08:30,975 --> 01:08:34,892
and there, used as donkeys.
807
01:08:38,433 --> 01:08:40,892
Athletes, ready!
808
01:08:43,892 --> 01:08:48,433
They started with the 100-meter dash.
809
01:08:48,517 --> 01:08:51,433
It's up to you, understand?
810
01:08:51,517 --> 01:08:54,308
- Don't distract me!
- Sorry.
811
01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:02,433
To your starting position. Ready?
812
01:09:05,808 --> 01:09:11,100
High jump performed by Fantozzi
of the Accident Office.
813
01:09:11,183 --> 01:09:13,308
Filini, get ready.
814
01:09:52,017 --> 01:09:53,433
Wait.
815
01:10:02,058 --> 01:10:05,308
Let me go! Let me pass!
816
01:10:14,683 --> 01:10:17,808
The results after the high jump.
Bribes Office: 7 points.
817
01:10:17,892 --> 01:10:20,517
Blackmail Office: 6.
Administration: 2.
818
01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:24,058
- Accident Office: 0 points.
- To your positions. Ready?
819
01:10:28,850 --> 01:10:33,892
Pole vault performed by Fantozzi
and Filini from the Accident Office
820
01:10:33,975 --> 01:10:36,308
and Paternò from Administration.
821
01:10:40,308 --> 01:10:44,933
- What is he doing over there?
- Isn't this pole climbing?
822
01:10:45,017 --> 01:10:47,058
No, it's pole vault!
823
01:10:47,142 --> 01:10:50,808
So it's not pole climbing.
All right.
824
01:10:50,892 --> 01:10:53,683
Next up: Accountant Filini.
825
01:11:02,267 --> 01:11:05,100
After the 27th false start,
826
01:11:05,183 --> 01:11:09,975
there was the unbelievable suicide
of Judge Di Tommaso.
827
01:11:10,058 --> 01:11:14,933
Fantozzi was forced
to voluntarily substitute him.
828
01:11:15,017 --> 01:11:17,892
- Go!
- Good start.
829
01:11:21,266 --> 01:11:24,808
Situation after 100 meters.
Bribes Office: 9 points.
830
01:11:24,892 --> 01:11:28,516
Blackmail Office: 7. Administration
Office: 5. Accident Office: 0 points.
831
01:11:29,267 --> 01:11:32,933
Then, in the shot put...
832
01:11:33,017 --> 01:11:35,724
You stand here
and throw it there.
833
01:11:35,807 --> 01:11:39,057
Come on, throw it far! Let's go.
834
01:11:39,808 --> 01:11:42,975
-It's mine
-I don't think so, let's see.
835
01:11:43,057 --> 01:11:45,058
- Look...
- It's ours!
836
01:11:45,141 --> 01:11:47,850
- No, look better.
- It's ours!
837
01:11:48,391 --> 01:11:51,767
Three-thousand hurdle race.
838
01:11:53,767 --> 01:11:55,767
Be good.
839
01:11:56,517 --> 01:11:57,724
Be good.
840
01:12:22,267 --> 01:12:26,183
So Fantozzi very wickedly tried
to pretend it was
841
01:12:26,267 --> 01:12:29,350
a 50-meter breaststroke.
842
01:12:29,932 --> 01:12:34,975
In the meantime, the women
weren't having good results.
843
01:12:36,933 --> 01:12:42,100
Wait a second, I'm not ready,
I have to concentrate.
844
01:12:42,183 --> 01:12:43,767
Wait, one moment.
845
01:12:46,017 --> 01:12:47,183
I have to concentrate.
846
01:12:58,642 --> 01:13:05,892
{\an8}WORLD RECORD
847
01:13:14,433 --> 01:13:16,683
- Hey, it's your turn!
- Whose turn?
848
01:13:16,767 --> 01:13:18,892
- Yours!
- Mine? Go!
849
01:13:24,517 --> 01:13:26,267
What happened?
850
01:13:41,267 --> 01:13:44,183
The Accident Office is disqualified.
851
01:13:44,267 --> 01:13:45,558
Attention!
852
01:13:46,808 --> 01:13:51,433
- What was it?
- There are dangerous objects.
853
01:13:51,517 --> 01:13:53,517
I didn't see anything.
854
01:13:55,183 --> 01:13:58,725
Hammer throw, next up: Fantozzi.
855
01:13:59,308 --> 01:14:00,767
Good morning.
856
01:14:09,683 --> 01:14:11,683
This isn't okay?
857
01:14:11,767 --> 01:14:13,517
Okay. It's okay.
858
01:14:16,017 --> 01:14:18,517
It's heavy! I can't do it with that?
859
01:14:27,308 --> 01:14:29,308
Fantozzi's first throw.
860
01:14:32,308 --> 01:14:33,683
Invalid.
861
01:14:34,642 --> 01:14:36,308
Second throw...
862
01:14:38,433 --> 01:14:39,433
Where is he?
863
01:14:41,517 --> 01:14:43,142
Fantozzi's second throw.
864
01:14:47,933 --> 01:14:50,100
Fantozzi's third throw.
865
01:14:53,183 --> 01:14:55,058
Valid throw.
866
01:14:56,642 --> 01:14:59,683
Here are the results
before the last game.
867
01:14:59,767 --> 01:15:02,683
Bribes Office: 16 points.
Blackmail Office: 14.
868
01:15:02,767 --> 01:15:06,183
Administration: 7.
Accident Office: 0 points.
869
01:15:07,142 --> 01:15:13,058
In order not to end up with zero points
and being transferred to Small Rock,
870
01:15:13,142 --> 01:15:17,183
Filini came up with a plan to win
at least the last game,
871
01:15:17,267 --> 01:15:21,392
the 4x100 relay,
that was worth 20 points.
872
01:15:25,683 --> 01:15:31,475
In the end, it was just a tragic trick
to make them run faster.
873
01:15:31,558 --> 01:15:38,308
In the bathroom, they did a dreadful
drawing for who'd be the last runner.
874
01:15:38,392 --> 01:15:43,725
It was won by Fantozzi,
the luckiest of them all.
875
01:15:44,308 --> 01:15:46,558
Run, Fantozzi, run!
876
01:15:49,267 --> 01:15:51,642
It's exploding!
877
01:15:56,142 --> 01:15:58,058
Look how fast Dad is!
878
01:16:00,267 --> 01:16:02,267
Dad came in first!
879
01:16:07,600 --> 01:16:08,475
{\an8}RADICAL PARTY
880
01:16:08,558 --> 01:16:11,975
And then the elections arrived.
881
01:16:12,058 --> 01:16:15,975
Fantozzi felt very much
his duty and right as a citizen.
882
01:16:16,058 --> 01:16:19,933
He sensed the uncertainties
883
01:16:20,017 --> 01:16:22,683
and the fears of being wrong
one more time.
884
01:16:22,767 --> 01:16:27,267
So, he read everything
about every possible party.
885
01:16:27,350 --> 01:16:29,392
Sir, you're missing "Sardinia Today".
886
01:16:29,475 --> 01:16:31,642
- I'll get it.
- Fifty thousand.
887
01:16:36,308 --> 01:16:38,642
He pretended to be sick
888
01:16:38,725 --> 01:16:43,433
and stayed home watching TV.
889
01:16:43,517 --> 01:16:45,433
- What?
- You want a snack?
890
01:16:45,517 --> 01:16:49,683
- No, nothing, I'm watching.
- You haven't eaten in two days.
891
01:16:49,767 --> 01:16:55,725
Pina, if this time I vote wrong,
we won't eat again for ten years!
892
01:16:55,808 --> 01:16:58,308
- Get out, leave!
- Okay.
893
01:16:58,392 --> 01:17:00,892
- Make me a strong coffee.
- Okay.
894
01:17:01,642 --> 01:17:05,267
From morning to night,
he never missed a political debate
895
01:17:05,350 --> 01:17:10,933
or an electoral speech
or a round table.
896
01:17:11,017 --> 01:17:17,183
He watched every possible TV channel
and on all three TVs they had.
897
01:17:17,933 --> 01:17:22,558
Confused by all the information
that he kept on taking,
898
01:17:22,642 --> 01:17:25,725
he soon lost perception
899
01:17:25,808 --> 01:17:30,933
and started to have hallucinations.
900
01:17:31,017 --> 01:17:38,100
Fantozzi, fast with me, it will be
an extraordinary lesson for those thieves!
901
01:17:38,183 --> 01:17:43,975
This is a good idea, the leader and you,
the base of the pyramid, fast together.
902
01:17:44,975 --> 01:17:47,933
I will drink some coffee
and you will pay for it.
903
01:17:48,517 --> 01:17:51,142
But you're used to fasting.
904
01:17:51,225 --> 01:17:55,642
Fantozzi, as you can see,
I'm not fond of fasting.
905
01:17:55,725 --> 01:17:58,892
- I could tell.
- I agree with Pannella,
906
01:17:58,975 --> 01:18:03,683
you're doomed to fast, dear Fantozzi.
907
01:18:03,767 --> 01:18:06,725
- Limit your consumption.
- Even more?
908
01:18:06,808 --> 01:18:10,808
Of course, make four or five
more holes in your belt,
909
01:18:10,892 --> 01:18:15,725
while I go to my villa in Florence
and make a pork chop
910
01:18:16,267 --> 01:18:18,225
with French fries.
911
01:18:19,142 --> 01:18:23,683
I ask for your vote, Fantozzi,
for the majority party,
912
01:18:23,767 --> 01:18:27,350
especially in the interest
of your mental health.
913
01:18:27,433 --> 01:18:29,725
- Of course.
- After almost 40 years
914
01:18:29,808 --> 01:18:33,100
of continuous
Christian Democratic abuse,
915
01:18:33,183 --> 01:18:36,308
- you have become addicted.
- Exactly.
916
01:18:36,392 --> 01:18:40,933
What are you doing without Fanfani,
a good god of your house?
917
01:18:41,017 --> 01:18:44,058
- And without Saint Rumor Mariano?
- Good morning.
918
01:18:44,142 --> 01:18:48,433
And what about Honorable Guts,
who was Minister of the Interiors?
919
01:18:49,017 --> 01:18:50,308
This is why!
920
01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:54,350
Say yes, Fantozzi,
or you'll have a withdrawal crisis.
921
01:18:54,433 --> 01:18:58,308
- Crisis?
- Don't listen to him, Fantozzi!
922
01:18:59,767 --> 01:19:01,100
You are exploited,
923
01:19:01,183 --> 01:19:05,267
you are the prototype of the exploited,
you must change.
924
01:19:05,850 --> 01:19:08,267
- I should change my hair?
- You need to reinvent yourself,
925
01:19:08,350 --> 01:19:12,558
you must change your exploiter.
You had them all, try us too.
926
01:19:12,642 --> 01:19:16,017
- We are second to none.
- You mean that you too...
927
01:19:17,392 --> 01:19:19,142
If you endorse my party,
928
01:19:19,225 --> 01:19:23,017
I will resolve the
problems of the pensions.
929
01:19:23,100 --> 01:19:23,975
Thank you!
930
01:19:24,058 --> 01:19:27,600
Don't thank me, I'm talking
about my pension, not yours.
931
01:19:27,683 --> 01:19:30,892
I'm getting old
and I take care of my mother.
932
01:19:30,975 --> 01:19:34,433
Sorry, you want me
to take care of your mother?
933
01:19:34,517 --> 01:19:38,183
- No, no, Fantozzi!
- Yes, yes, indeed!
934
01:19:38,267 --> 01:19:40,642
Mothers should stay out of this.
935
01:19:40,725 --> 01:19:43,558
No! Don't look at me like that!
936
01:19:44,142 --> 01:19:50,975
If you can let me have your address,
I will send you some comrades
937
01:19:51,058 --> 01:19:55,975
to give you some castor oil
and explain our program.
938
01:19:56,058 --> 01:19:59,100
- Another time.
- What do I think about Fantozzi?
939
01:19:59,183 --> 01:20:02,892
Being a woman, I find him repellent.
940
01:20:03,767 --> 01:20:04,850
Also you?
941
01:20:04,933 --> 01:20:09,308
We are scared about
this fall and this winter.
942
01:20:09,392 --> 01:20:11,808
Dear Fantozzi, what can we do?
943
01:20:11,892 --> 01:20:15,058
- You're asking me?
- Lama, Carniti and myself have decided
944
01:20:15,142 --> 01:20:19,100
to fight as much as we can
to get an invitation
945
01:20:19,183 --> 01:20:23,725
on Agnelli's yacht for a cruise
on the Mediterranean sea
946
01:20:23,808 --> 01:20:26,808
- to the Seychelles, or the Bermuda.
- I'm not coming?
947
01:20:26,892 --> 01:20:31,725
What can I say?
Stability is the big problem.
948
01:20:31,808 --> 01:20:35,850
If you vote for me,
I'll get into Palazzo Chigi
949
01:20:35,933 --> 01:20:38,850
and no one will be able
to get me out of there.
950
01:20:38,933 --> 01:20:45,142
Excuse me... From this stability of yours,
what would I get?
951
01:20:45,225 --> 01:20:50,017
Fantozzi, every party is
promising better economic times
952
01:20:50,100 --> 01:20:53,933
that were never seen
and that will never be seen!
953
01:20:54,517 --> 01:20:57,433
- Never.
- We could never fail you
954
01:20:57,517 --> 01:21:03,558
because this time we guarantee
a steady worsening every five years.
955
01:21:03,642 --> 01:21:06,058
Excuse me, Eminence... Sire,
956
01:21:06,142 --> 01:21:09,058
the other time you
promised and didn't...
957
01:21:09,142 --> 01:21:12,558
Come on, you know.
I never keep my promises.
958
01:21:13,767 --> 01:21:16,725
- True, but I always believe them.
- Good.
959
01:21:16,808 --> 01:21:19,017
I'll listen to the radio.
960
01:21:19,642 --> 01:21:22,975
- Comrade Fantozzi!
- It's him!
961
01:21:23,058 --> 01:21:27,892
The demoplutocratic powers
with their unfair sanctions
962
01:21:28,558 --> 01:21:34,517
are trying to stop the new coming
of the Roman Empire.
963
01:21:34,600 --> 01:21:37,517
- Vote for me, Fantozzi.
- Comrade Fantozzi!
964
01:21:38,017 --> 01:21:40,475
- Vote for me, Fantozzi.
- Vote Falcao.
965
01:21:40,558 --> 01:21:42,808
- Sickle and hammer!
- Vote for me!
966
01:21:42,892 --> 01:21:44,975
- Vote for us!
- PSD!
967
01:21:45,058 --> 01:21:46,142
PCI!
968
01:21:50,933 --> 01:21:54,808
Slowly, between
so many contradictions,
969
01:21:54,892 --> 01:21:58,850
and different voices,
Fantozzi developed
970
01:21:58,933 --> 01:22:03,142
his personal political choice.
971
01:22:04,642 --> 01:22:06,933
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
972
01:22:07,017 --> 01:22:09,517
Here is the voter certificate.
973
01:22:09,600 --> 01:22:12,892
- Excuse me. Give it to me.
- Here it is.
974
01:22:13,517 --> 01:22:15,433
ID. Here.
975
01:22:16,267 --> 01:22:18,267
- Fantozzi.
- Fantocci.
976
01:22:20,808 --> 01:22:23,642
- Booth one.
- Booth number one.
977
01:22:24,267 --> 01:22:26,267
- Booth two.
- Thank you.
978
01:22:27,142 --> 01:22:29,267
- Booth three.
- Thank you.
979
01:22:29,350 --> 01:22:31,933
Go vote, I'm going to number one.
980
01:22:33,892 --> 01:22:34,933
Number one.
981
01:22:42,392 --> 01:22:43,517
Thank you.
982
01:22:45,892 --> 01:22:46,933
Here.
983
01:22:47,892 --> 01:22:50,058
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
984
01:22:50,808 --> 01:22:51,808
You can go.
985
01:22:53,017 --> 01:22:54,475
Fantocci voted.
986
01:23:00,433 --> 01:23:01,433
But...
987
01:23:13,683 --> 01:23:15,225
- May I?
- Please.
988
01:23:19,767 --> 01:23:21,142
Occupied.
989
01:23:25,267 --> 01:23:28,558
- What are you doing?
- I'm voting!
990
01:23:28,642 --> 01:23:29,892
Good.
991
01:23:35,642 --> 01:23:39,725
Finally, in the warmth
of a new summer
992
01:23:39,808 --> 01:23:45,392
also for Fantozzi arrived a day
of peace and tranquility.
993
01:23:49,267 --> 01:23:52,225
A series of fires
are destroying Italy.
994
01:23:52,308 --> 01:23:56,058
The fire and parks department
with their special helicopters
995
01:23:56,142 --> 01:23:59,017
are dumping tons
of water on the fire.
996
01:23:59,558 --> 01:24:00,975
It's not so warm.
997
01:24:02,433 --> 01:24:05,392
- What are you doing?
- A sweater. See?
998
01:24:06,058 --> 01:24:08,183
For the... For it.
999
01:24:09,433 --> 01:24:12,183
- These are for its tentacles.
- You like it?
1000
01:24:13,017 --> 01:24:17,142
Hey, Pina, I'm going for a swim.
1001
01:24:17,683 --> 01:24:21,267
- Maybe I'll catch some fish.
- Be careful.
1002
01:24:21,933 --> 01:24:23,392
Be careful.
1003
01:24:25,517 --> 01:24:30,267
Did you see how it's playing with its
tentacles? I mean... arms.
1004
01:24:32,392 --> 01:24:34,767
- What's it doing?
- Digging a hole.
1005
01:24:35,683 --> 01:24:38,933
Be careful not to break some...
1006
01:24:41,433 --> 01:24:44,892
Now be good,
listen to Mom, be good.
1007
01:24:51,100 --> 01:24:52,642
Enough!
1008
01:24:53,642 --> 01:24:54,767
Enough!
1009
01:24:57,183 --> 01:24:58,183
Enough!
1010
01:24:59,683 --> 01:25:01,683
I'm going out!
1011
01:25:30,558 --> 01:25:34,267
Ugo!
Ugo, where are you going?
74473
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