All language subtitles for Fantozzi.Subisce.Ancora.1983.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:46,975 --> 00:01:49,183 Thanks to many wise leaders, 4 00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:54,267 the Italian people have reached a high level of maturity. 5 00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:58,683 Employees and workers have finally understood 6 00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:02,308 that productivity is the basis of a wealthy society 7 00:02:02,392 --> 00:02:05,600 and it's the only way of coming out of the crisis. 8 00:02:08,933 --> 00:02:10,933 Let us in, we want to work! 9 00:02:11,017 --> 00:02:13,850 Tonight I want to work three hours more! 10 00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:16,517 We must increase productivity! 11 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,558 I can't live without my paperwork! 12 00:02:20,642 --> 00:02:23,475 Let's help our country! 13 00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:36,433 Let's walk, let's save time. 14 00:02:36,517 --> 00:02:42,058 Nowadays, the plague of a second job and of absenteeism, 15 00:02:42,142 --> 00:02:46,100 that caused so much damage to the Italian economy, 16 00:02:46,183 --> 00:02:50,433 can finally be considered eradicated. 17 00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:53,642 Let's go, let's go to work! 18 00:02:53,725 --> 00:02:55,892 Let's go to work! 19 00:02:57,183 --> 00:02:58,308 Go! 20 00:02:58,392 --> 00:03:00,725 - Where is your second job? - At the post office. 21 00:03:00,808 --> 00:03:03,933 Can you give me a ride? I didn't take the car today. 22 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,267 - Weren't you at City Hall? - Yes, but I have three jobs! 23 00:03:13,017 --> 00:03:14,892 Hi, Cabrini. 24 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:36,433 Antonio, you didn't look, right? Silly you! 25 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,058 Wait! 26 00:04:03,517 --> 00:04:04,975 OCCUPIED 27 00:04:18,308 --> 00:04:20,308 Good morning, accountant. 28 00:04:28,183 --> 00:04:30,475 {\an8}BACK SOON! WENT TO BATHROOM 29 00:04:50,350 --> 00:04:53,058 BLIND 30 00:04:53,142 --> 00:04:56,308 - Accountant, really? With us! - I had to try! 31 00:05:31,058 --> 00:05:32,308 {\an8}LIFEGUARD 32 00:05:48,808 --> 00:05:52,558 Adriana, this thing of the second job is really a scandal! 33 00:05:52,642 --> 00:05:56,267 - It's really shitty. - Thank you, sir. 34 00:06:04,725 --> 00:06:10,475 {\an8}NAA NATIONAL ABSENTEE ASSOCIATION 35 00:06:41,725 --> 00:06:45,892 CORRADO MARIA LOBBIAM INSPECTOR OF THE INSPECTORS 36 00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:42,725 Hello? What? 37 00:07:42,808 --> 00:07:47,350 No, Mr. Mughini went to work at the director's office. 38 00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:49,392 Excuse me a second. 39 00:07:50,392 --> 00:07:53,350 Hello? Good morning. No, Miss Silvani is... 40 00:08:20,183 --> 00:08:23,350 APPROVAL OFFICE 41 00:09:00,892 --> 00:09:03,058 Is everything fine here? 42 00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:15,766 OUT OF ORDER 43 00:09:22,683 --> 00:09:23,725 PAYROLL AND CASH OFFICE 44 00:09:30,225 --> 00:09:37,433 CASHIER 1 45 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:56,808 CASHIER 2 46 00:10:04,975 --> 00:10:12,183 CASHIER 3 47 00:10:28,892 --> 00:10:31,600 SECOND FLOOR 48 00:10:31,683 --> 00:10:34,808 {\an8}BACK SOON! WENT TO BATHROOM 49 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:42,975 Occupied. 50 00:10:48,475 --> 00:10:49,600 Occupied. 51 00:10:52,517 --> 00:10:53,642 Hi! 52 00:10:53,725 --> 00:10:56,017 Hi! Hello, everyone. 53 00:10:56,892 --> 00:11:01,725 You need extra strong paper and ribbons for the typewriters. 54 00:11:01,808 --> 00:11:05,017 Work well, everyone. Work as much as you can! 55 00:11:06,058 --> 00:11:08,725 Stationary for my colleagues. 56 00:11:08,808 --> 00:11:11,808 I'll get it right away. 57 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,392 He is going down! 58 00:11:29,767 --> 00:11:30,975 All right! 59 00:11:32,308 --> 00:11:35,475 OUT OF ORDER 60 00:11:35,558 --> 00:11:41,808 FIRST FLOOR 61 00:11:46,933 --> 00:11:49,183 - What floor is this? - First. 62 00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:52,308 I must go to the fifth! 63 00:11:54,183 --> 00:11:55,892 Fifth... 64 00:12:27,933 --> 00:12:30,142 Hurry, Fantozzi, faster! 65 00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,642 Welcome back, Miss Silvani. 66 00:12:51,392 --> 00:12:54,475 How did your day at the solarium go? 67 00:12:54,558 --> 00:12:58,933 Don't ask me about it. A shitty day. The sun would come and go. 68 00:12:59,933 --> 00:13:05,142 - I'm sorry. - Lucky you who stayed here. 69 00:13:05,225 --> 00:13:07,142 Well, not really. 70 00:13:09,017 --> 00:13:10,225 Miss. 71 00:13:11,142 --> 00:13:15,808 Miss Silvani, I have been trying to tell you something for a year. 72 00:13:15,892 --> 00:13:21,767 Maybe you didn't notice that I do all this for you. 73 00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:23,642 Just for you. 74 00:13:31,183 --> 00:13:33,308 So you will do this 75 00:13:34,142 --> 00:13:37,683 also tomorrow, my little Fantozzi? 76 00:13:40,017 --> 00:13:44,058 I will do it! Also tomorrow! 77 00:13:44,142 --> 00:13:48,100 - I will! - Now go, you smell like sweat! 78 00:13:48,183 --> 00:13:50,933 - Out! Go! - Make him leave! 79 00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:54,850 - Go wash yourself, you smell! - Go wash yourself! 80 00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:57,100 How can you smell so much? 81 00:13:57,183 --> 00:14:00,058 He's from a low social class, he has a poor metabolism. 82 00:14:00,142 --> 00:14:03,142 Go, also wash your intimate parts! 83 00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:06,267 Attention! 84 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,767 - Who is missing? - Fantozzi! 85 00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:18,142 Fantozzi's house, who is speaking? 86 00:14:19,183 --> 00:14:22,267 Ugo, what's wrong? What did they do to you? 87 00:14:22,350 --> 00:14:26,392 Nothing, Pina, don't worry. I just have to do some extra hours. 88 00:14:26,475 --> 00:14:29,642 All right, then go get Mariangela from work. 89 00:14:29,725 --> 00:14:31,517 Yes, I will do it later. 90 00:14:32,225 --> 00:14:35,517 Not now, I can't move now. 91 00:14:37,642 --> 00:14:42,392 {\an8}I'M AN ABSENTEE 92 00:14:42,475 --> 00:14:46,642 ANIMAL SHELTER 93 00:15:09,267 --> 00:15:10,558 Hi, Dad. 94 00:15:12,642 --> 00:15:13,933 Hi, hi. 95 00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:17,517 Good morning. 96 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,600 - Excuse me, how can I help you? - Huh? 97 00:15:20,683 --> 00:15:24,433 - I came to get... - How can this be... You too? 98 00:15:24,517 --> 00:15:27,808 She is not for sale! She is a shop assistant and not a monkey! 99 00:15:27,892 --> 00:15:30,392 What are you talking about? She is my baby. 100 00:15:30,475 --> 00:15:32,725 She is not a baboon! She is a shop assistant! 101 00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:36,183 She is my baboon... My baby, my daughter! 102 00:15:37,808 --> 00:15:39,850 Go get changed, it's 7 o'clock. 103 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,433 Excuse me, I don't know if you noticed 104 00:15:43,517 --> 00:15:48,058 but you treated my daughter as if she was a monkey. 105 00:15:49,017 --> 00:15:51,225 Well, goodbye. 106 00:15:51,308 --> 00:15:53,058 Mariangela, dear. Come. 107 00:15:53,142 --> 00:15:57,058 Dad will take you away. I sent your application to the post office. 108 00:15:57,142 --> 00:16:00,308 - This is not the place for you. - What are you doing? 109 00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:02,933 Are you trying to be a smart ass? Take your own one! 110 00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:08,517 I confused them. You know, they look similar, so... 111 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,475 Here. 112 00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:15,350 Sorry, if you really want this one, fine. Here. 113 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:20,600 Dad was joking, let's go home. 114 00:16:25,142 --> 00:16:27,642 - Pina, open! - Coming. 115 00:16:28,225 --> 00:16:31,558 Pina, I forgot the keys. Is the spaghetti ready? 116 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:34,183 - No, Ugo. - I've been craving it all day. 117 00:16:34,267 --> 00:16:38,183 Wait, Hugo. Don't you remember what day it is today? 118 00:16:39,892 --> 00:16:41,892 What day is it today? 119 00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:52,267 - Everybody is here. - Everybody... 120 00:16:54,058 --> 00:16:57,308 All right, let's not be dramatic. 121 00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,308 - Where is Mariangela? - Here. 122 00:16:59,392 --> 00:17:03,183 You two go lock yourselves in the bathroom, save yourselves. 123 00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:06,183 - Come out at my signal. - The sound of the falcon. 124 00:17:06,267 --> 00:17:09,600 - No, Pina, the sound of the owl. - Yes, the owl. 125 00:17:09,683 --> 00:17:10,892 I'm going. 126 00:17:11,683 --> 00:17:16,392 - Ugo, be careful. - Yes, I have been through worse... 127 00:17:17,017 --> 00:17:19,267 Mariangela. Give a kiss to Daddy. 128 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:23,642 Wait, I am not prepared for the kiss. 129 00:17:24,267 --> 00:17:26,475 - Go away! - Let's go. 130 00:17:26,558 --> 00:17:28,767 Remember, the sound of the owl! 131 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:42,517 - Good evening. - Good evening. 132 00:17:44,767 --> 00:17:50,850 It was the terrifying bimonthly owners' meeting 133 00:17:50,933 --> 00:17:56,058 that would take turns at each owner's apartment. 134 00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:58,933 This time you will be the president. 135 00:17:59,017 --> 00:18:00,932 - Me? - Yes. 136 00:18:01,017 --> 00:18:03,307 So... I declare the meeting open! 137 00:18:06,475 --> 00:18:08,642 You never close the elevator door! 138 00:18:13,682 --> 00:18:17,433 - And you don't pay! - And you are a cuckold! 139 00:18:17,517 --> 00:18:21,308 - You are three installments behind! - Here! One, two... 140 00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:23,767 and three! 141 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,058 You, go see the porter's room. 142 00:18:31,142 --> 00:18:34,558 It's always dirty. You are the building manager, go see. 143 00:18:34,642 --> 00:18:36,850 - No! - He went! 144 00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:40,183 - Your TV is too loud! - Your son skates in the house! 145 00:18:40,267 --> 00:18:42,142 The meeting is over! 146 00:18:42,767 --> 00:18:44,933 - Goodbye. - Good evening. 147 00:18:45,017 --> 00:18:50,808 At the beginning of the following summer, an exceptional event occurred. 148 00:18:50,892 --> 00:18:56,433 So exceptional that for once the employees renounced absenteeism 149 00:18:56,517 --> 00:18:59,558 and stayed in the office to work. 150 00:19:04,683 --> 00:19:07,100 These are easy questions! 151 00:19:07,183 --> 00:19:10,100 - No, they are not easy. - Shut up! 152 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:14,517 Here is the prize of this week, an RV. 153 00:19:16,892 --> 00:19:21,933 - How fucking lucky she was! - Don't be vulgar, she studied. 154 00:19:22,017 --> 00:19:25,017 - Shut up! - Will you use it by yourself? 155 00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:29,808 Do you think that I have problems? 156 00:19:29,892 --> 00:19:32,558 How beautiful! Do you want to greet anyone? 157 00:19:32,642 --> 00:19:38,642 A kiss to all my colleagues who are surely watching me. 158 00:19:39,933 --> 00:19:43,183 They pushed me to participate to this game. 159 00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:46,142 - Lobbiam! - Away! 160 00:19:53,142 --> 00:19:55,017 Good morning, Excellency. 161 00:19:55,558 --> 00:19:58,308 The victory of Miss Silvani 162 00:19:58,392 --> 00:20:04,058 arose an organizational frenzy in accountant Filini 163 00:20:04,142 --> 00:20:08,308 who arranged a group holiday right away. 164 00:20:08,392 --> 00:20:10,975 A caravan of RVs. 165 00:20:11,058 --> 00:20:15,100 Fantozzi and Filini went to get them 166 00:20:15,183 --> 00:20:18,683 in that tragic labyrinth that is the selling parking lot. 167 00:20:18,767 --> 00:20:21,142 And as a dreadful coincidence, 168 00:20:21,225 --> 00:20:25,433 they went on the same day and the same hour 169 00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,642 and for the same model. 170 00:20:34,142 --> 00:20:36,183 The day of their departure 171 00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:39,600 at the meeting point, which was Miss Silvani's building, 172 00:20:39,683 --> 00:20:41,975 here is who showed up: 173 00:20:42,058 --> 00:20:46,683 Colsi and Mughini together to spend less on fuel 174 00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:49,392 but still saving their privacy. 175 00:20:50,892 --> 00:20:52,850 - Miss Silvani! - Miss Silvani! 176 00:20:52,933 --> 00:20:54,433 Congratulations! 177 00:20:54,517 --> 00:21:01,767 Calboni was shamelessly passing off an old ambulance as an RV. 178 00:21:01,850 --> 00:21:06,475 He had rented it from a friend of his, a ruthless ambulance driver. 179 00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:11,725 As his voyage companion, he was trying to pass off as a noble woman, 180 00:21:11,808 --> 00:21:16,558 a cheap whore, ironically called "the countess" 181 00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:19,475 because of her elegant behavior. 182 00:21:20,308 --> 00:21:24,558 Then Filini arrived, who had solved the problem of the vehicle 183 00:21:24,642 --> 00:21:27,475 with nothing less than a tank, 184 00:21:27,558 --> 00:21:31,267 an old remnant from World War Two. 185 00:21:33,308 --> 00:21:35,308 Here I am! 186 00:21:37,392 --> 00:21:38,933 What a beauty! 187 00:21:39,017 --> 00:21:42,433 Good morning, here we are! Are we ready to go? 188 00:21:42,517 --> 00:21:46,058 - Only Fantozzi is missing. - Damn! As usual! 189 00:21:46,142 --> 00:21:48,142 Here he is! 190 00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:53,392 - Fantozzi! - What are you doing there? Come! 191 00:21:54,183 --> 00:21:56,600 They are calling us, let's go. 192 00:21:56,683 --> 00:22:00,017 Yes, and also with... 193 00:22:01,517 --> 00:22:03,642 As you want. Let's go. 194 00:22:14,308 --> 00:22:17,308 Eye, evil eye, parsley and fennel! 195 00:22:22,017 --> 00:22:24,183 Parsley and fennel! 196 00:22:24,267 --> 00:22:28,142 Good, we are all here. Let's turn on the engines! 197 00:22:28,225 --> 00:22:30,683 Everybody follow me! 198 00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:37,017 - Where are you going? - To say hi, no? 199 00:22:44,892 --> 00:22:48,058 Good morning, Miss Silvani. I came to greet you before we leave. 200 00:22:48,142 --> 00:22:51,100 And I want to give you this little gift. 201 00:22:51,183 --> 00:22:56,308 A Saint Christopher magnet to put there. It's the protector of drivers. 202 00:22:59,267 --> 00:23:01,808 Excuse me, don't you open it? 203 00:23:02,475 --> 00:23:06,517 Ugo! I'll remind you that I am here as well, I am your wife! 204 00:23:08,017 --> 00:23:12,892 Poor thing! She wanted to come because she is jealous of us. 205 00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:16,100 - What? - She is jealous of you and I... 206 00:23:16,183 --> 00:23:18,100 Because you and I... 207 00:23:18,683 --> 00:23:19,683 Of you? 208 00:23:20,267 --> 00:23:22,933 It is like being jealous of a toad! 209 00:23:26,017 --> 00:23:27,767 What? Who talked? 210 00:23:27,850 --> 00:23:32,142 Once you are all ready, honk. Go! 211 00:23:36,933 --> 00:23:38,850 Silvani's horn. 212 00:23:38,933 --> 00:23:41,933 Calboni's siren. Colsi and Mughini's horn. 213 00:23:42,558 --> 00:23:44,142 Fantozzi's horn. 214 00:23:45,017 --> 00:23:47,017 Filini's horn! 215 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,558 Honk at him! 216 00:24:08,642 --> 00:24:12,475 Are you crazy, Pina? If he honks back at us, we are screwed! 217 00:24:12,558 --> 00:24:14,933 Maybe he won't answer. 218 00:24:15,017 --> 00:24:17,933 As soon as possible, I will go to the end. 219 00:25:07,808 --> 00:25:09,850 After that pitiful episode, 220 00:25:09,933 --> 00:25:13,558 Miss Silvani went to the head of the caravan to avoid other troubles. 221 00:25:23,308 --> 00:25:24,558 What happened? 222 00:25:26,433 --> 00:25:30,392 She must have rear-ended a manure truck. 223 00:25:32,517 --> 00:25:33,808 Can I help you? 224 00:25:33,892 --> 00:25:35,183 {\an8}ANYWHERE 225 00:25:35,267 --> 00:25:41,017 You want a ride! Come, come, get in! Here we go! 226 00:25:47,142 --> 00:25:50,350 - What is she doing? Is she crazy? - Why? 227 00:25:50,433 --> 00:25:53,142 Don't you see who she let in? 228 00:25:54,267 --> 00:25:57,058 She is such a young girl. 229 00:25:57,142 --> 00:26:01,808 And a girl like her gives a lift to such a criminal? 230 00:26:03,475 --> 00:26:07,183 Ugo, I already asked you to not worry about her, 231 00:26:07,267 --> 00:26:10,683 - at least not when I am with you. - I don't worry about her. 232 00:26:10,767 --> 00:26:14,433 Anyway, that guy doesn't look like a criminal to me. 233 00:26:14,517 --> 00:26:16,892 No? What does he look like? 234 00:26:17,558 --> 00:26:22,725 Well, I would say that he looks like a funny and poetic vagabond. 235 00:26:25,267 --> 00:26:29,100 Franco said that he will take us to a fantastic place. 236 00:26:29,183 --> 00:26:33,308 A place that he knows and where no one else goes! 237 00:26:58,308 --> 00:27:00,183 That's fascinating. 238 00:27:06,267 --> 00:27:09,183 - Beautiful, no? - Marvelous! 239 00:27:09,267 --> 00:27:12,308 I adore wild nature! 240 00:27:12,392 --> 00:27:16,475 We must thank Franchino who let us discover this paradise! 241 00:27:16,558 --> 00:27:19,058 - Franchino! - She calls him "Franchino". 242 00:27:19,142 --> 00:27:22,433 - Why not? - Franchino! Come! Come! 243 00:27:22,517 --> 00:27:25,850 Franchino, let me introduce you my friends. 244 00:27:28,058 --> 00:27:29,767 Ugo, are you sick? 245 00:27:33,933 --> 00:27:39,017 - Franchino, are you staying with us? - Sure, he has his sleeping bag! 246 00:27:56,642 --> 00:28:00,350 I have an idea! Let's grill some fish! 247 00:28:02,933 --> 00:28:05,183 You will be my guests tonight. 248 00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:09,517 The men take care of the fish and us girls will cook it! 249 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,225 Miss Silvani, this is a good idea. I will take care of everything! 250 00:28:13,308 --> 00:28:15,808 Fantozzi, we will get the fish. 251 00:28:15,892 --> 00:28:19,308 - We will cut some wood! - Yes, there is a forest! 252 00:28:21,017 --> 00:28:25,142 Get the fishing pole and the bait. I'll call Calboni. 253 00:28:25,225 --> 00:28:26,767 Move! 254 00:28:28,058 --> 00:28:31,183 - Mr. Calboni! - What? 255 00:28:31,267 --> 00:28:34,308 - Let's go fishing! - What are you doing? 256 00:28:34,392 --> 00:28:37,308 We are going fishing. Do you want to join us? 257 00:28:37,392 --> 00:28:40,975 Yes, I was actually making a joint. 258 00:28:41,058 --> 00:28:45,600 When you see the red light on, it means that I am busy 259 00:28:45,683 --> 00:28:50,017 - and don't disturb me, okay? - I am sorry. I apologize. 260 00:28:51,017 --> 00:28:54,392 What are you doing? Come on, let's go. Move! 261 00:28:55,892 --> 00:28:59,683 - He opened... - What could it be? Let's go. 262 00:29:01,933 --> 00:29:03,225 - One. - One. 263 00:29:03,308 --> 00:29:04,683 - Two. - Two. 264 00:29:04,767 --> 00:29:06,767 - Three. Go! - Go! 265 00:29:10,267 --> 00:29:13,017 What did you do? 266 00:29:15,975 --> 00:29:17,808 I got it! 267 00:29:20,767 --> 00:29:23,225 I got one as well! 268 00:29:23,308 --> 00:29:25,100 Pull! 269 00:29:35,767 --> 00:29:39,142 How is the fishing going? 270 00:29:39,725 --> 00:29:43,683 Fine, we have already got eight, all of the same kind. 271 00:29:43,767 --> 00:29:46,225 - They are very big! - Nine! 272 00:29:48,892 --> 00:29:53,975 - Oh, my God! How gross! - Ugo, they are rats! 273 00:29:54,058 --> 00:29:57,392 I was suspecting that... 274 00:29:57,475 --> 00:30:01,100 You are the usual pig! Go fish somewhere else. 275 00:30:01,183 --> 00:30:03,433 Yes, take the boat! 276 00:30:04,892 --> 00:30:08,642 Let's do something, throw away those rats. 277 00:30:08,725 --> 00:30:13,058 What rats are you talking about? Don't you start too. 278 00:30:13,142 --> 00:30:15,933 There is the catfish and there is also the ratfish. 279 00:30:16,017 --> 00:30:21,850 You may like it or not. I find a grilled ratfish delicious! 280 00:30:21,933 --> 00:30:25,933 Anyway, if you prefer, we can throw all this goodness away. 281 00:30:27,308 --> 00:30:29,433 Here! Are you happy? 282 00:30:30,183 --> 00:30:36,267 Come, hurry up! It may be dangerous! 283 00:30:36,350 --> 00:30:39,392 I'm coming! I have to put the alarm on. 284 00:30:46,308 --> 00:30:50,058 - Did you see? I saved the engine. - Yes, I saw it. Good job. 285 00:30:50,142 --> 00:30:54,600 I am afraid it got wet, water got in. 286 00:30:54,683 --> 00:30:57,558 - Can you try to switch it on? - Yes, let's try it. 287 00:31:02,017 --> 00:31:03,933 It is working! It is working! 288 00:31:04,017 --> 00:31:07,975 - My intimate parts! - Yes, I will stop it. 289 00:31:08,058 --> 00:31:09,267 It is off. 290 00:31:11,892 --> 00:31:13,600 For what you used it for... 291 00:31:14,808 --> 00:31:19,475 - What's there? - There is a rotting whale. 292 00:31:19,558 --> 00:31:21,392 Where is the whale? 293 00:31:23,767 --> 00:31:26,850 Seven all together! 294 00:31:26,933 --> 00:31:29,558 Please, clean the octopus! 295 00:31:33,517 --> 00:31:36,767 Mullet, octopus, without any fantasy! 296 00:31:38,767 --> 00:31:43,058 This one is alive, who will kill it? 297 00:31:43,142 --> 00:31:44,517 - You. - Me? 298 00:31:46,183 --> 00:31:48,642 I don't... Me, all right. 299 00:31:51,767 --> 00:31:55,267 Jerk, you let that... 300 00:31:56,767 --> 00:32:00,308 That... That jerk. 301 00:32:01,808 --> 00:32:04,308 Hooray! Hooray! 302 00:32:04,392 --> 00:32:09,767 If it was for those two, we would have eaten dead rats 303 00:32:10,517 --> 00:32:12,892 like in the Battle of Stalingrad. 304 00:32:13,392 --> 00:32:16,558 - A glass in two. Madam? - I don't drink. 305 00:32:16,642 --> 00:32:20,392 Luckily, Franchino thought about the fish. 306 00:32:24,392 --> 00:32:28,183 Let's cheer for our Franchino! 307 00:32:28,267 --> 00:32:31,392 - Hooray! - Hooray! 308 00:32:31,475 --> 00:32:33,725 Hooray! No? 309 00:32:34,642 --> 00:32:38,433 There is just one way to end this lovely evening. 310 00:32:38,517 --> 00:32:42,725 Let's all take a swim naked! 311 00:32:42,808 --> 00:32:45,600 How wonderful! Who is in? 312 00:32:46,183 --> 00:32:48,975 - If you do it, I will do it too! - Me too! 313 00:32:50,308 --> 00:32:53,350 - Pina? - Well, yes! 314 00:32:53,433 --> 00:32:57,767 Excuse me. You are my wife. 315 00:32:57,850 --> 00:33:00,683 The wife of such a piece of shit like you. 316 00:33:05,683 --> 00:33:06,683 Wait. 317 00:33:08,433 --> 00:33:11,267 How dare you? Excuse me? 318 00:33:11,850 --> 00:33:14,142 You can swim naked and she can't? 319 00:33:14,892 --> 00:33:19,308 It is absolutely different because she is my wife. 320 00:33:19,392 --> 00:33:23,975 No, because with her I have a relationship... I know. 321 00:33:24,058 --> 00:33:27,558 You know nothing, not even in what world you live in. 322 00:33:27,642 --> 00:33:31,100 And you know why? Because you have no culture. 323 00:33:31,183 --> 00:33:35,433 No, Franchino, I have a diploma. 324 00:33:35,517 --> 00:33:38,767 - Are you cultured? - I am an accountant. 325 00:33:39,767 --> 00:33:43,308 - So, let's see... - What are you doing? 326 00:33:44,058 --> 00:33:46,892 - So... - My God! 327 00:33:48,392 --> 00:33:51,558 - Are you fond of literature... - Yes. 328 00:33:52,142 --> 00:33:55,600 Science or just general knowledge? 329 00:33:55,683 --> 00:34:00,058 There are three envelopes, I have to pick one of those. 330 00:34:00,142 --> 00:34:01,767 General knowledge. 331 00:34:02,308 --> 00:34:05,475 No, there is a toilet here. 332 00:34:05,558 --> 00:34:08,642 - All right. - What is a prostate? 333 00:34:09,517 --> 00:34:12,225 This is very easy... 334 00:34:12,308 --> 00:34:15,850 The prostate is when a woman has a small breast... 335 00:34:15,933 --> 00:34:17,933 And so she wants to enlarge it... 336 00:34:19,767 --> 00:34:21,683 Is it flushing? 337 00:34:21,767 --> 00:34:24,225 No, it is his armpit. 338 00:34:24,308 --> 00:34:29,683 So, I was saying that prostate is when a woman 339 00:34:29,767 --> 00:34:32,642 wants to have a breast enlargement. 340 00:34:34,225 --> 00:34:37,308 No, here. I remember, I remember! 341 00:34:37,392 --> 00:34:40,725 Prostate is a pie 342 00:34:40,808 --> 00:34:45,642 made with blueberry, with pear... 343 00:34:47,350 --> 00:34:49,725 No, that's a Roman Emperor! 344 00:34:49,808 --> 00:34:53,642 {\an8}The Byzantine heretic, Giuliano Laprostata. 345 00:34:54,683 --> 00:34:58,183 - And a knock-out? - That is easy! 346 00:34:58,267 --> 00:35:00,308 What is a knock-out... 347 00:35:00,392 --> 00:35:04,683 {\an8}It is a typical expression in rural countries. 348 00:35:04,767 --> 00:35:08,558 {\an8}When someone knocks arrogantly on the door, 349 00:35:08,642 --> 00:35:12,017 {\an8}they go to the door and say: Who knocks out? 350 00:35:12,100 --> 00:35:13,933 {\an8}It's a typical expression. 351 00:35:15,892 --> 00:35:18,100 Now you know what a shit you are. 352 00:35:24,392 --> 00:35:27,183 Ugo, I'm going for a swim. 353 00:35:27,267 --> 00:35:28,808 Naked. 354 00:35:31,017 --> 00:35:36,308 Fantozzi had the worst ten minutes of his life. 355 00:35:36,392 --> 00:35:41,808 Then, as sometimes it happens to those who are extremely unhappy, 356 00:35:41,892 --> 00:35:45,558 the situation turned to his favor. 357 00:35:45,641 --> 00:35:48,724 You and I are in love with the same man, aren't we? 358 00:35:48,807 --> 00:35:50,807 Let's suppose that. And so? 359 00:35:51,767 --> 00:35:54,892 I wanted to tell you that you won, Miss Silvani. 360 00:35:55,642 --> 00:36:00,517 Tonight I realized that I'm too old to fight anymore. 361 00:36:02,517 --> 00:36:05,183 You can keep him. 362 00:36:05,725 --> 00:36:09,308 I don't need your permission, or your sacrifice. 363 00:36:09,392 --> 00:36:12,682 I can have him whenever I want. I will have him now, tonight! 364 00:36:17,932 --> 00:36:25,182 WASTE 365 00:36:37,142 --> 00:36:41,017 - Here I am! - What? You don't knock? 366 00:36:41,100 --> 00:36:44,850 You were waiting for me. Take me! 367 00:36:45,433 --> 00:36:48,892 I will take your head and break it! Out of my RV! 368 00:36:49,392 --> 00:36:51,433 Out of my RV! 369 00:36:51,517 --> 00:36:56,308 But... Excuse me, why are you acting up? 370 00:36:56,392 --> 00:36:59,517 Also my wife agreed, I heard everything. 371 00:37:00,308 --> 00:37:03,142 She said she was leaving me to you. 372 00:37:06,183 --> 00:37:09,933 Fantozzi, you heard everything but you understood nothing. 373 00:37:10,767 --> 00:37:14,850 Do you think that your wife was talking about you? 374 00:37:14,933 --> 00:37:17,517 What... Who was she talking about? 375 00:37:22,142 --> 00:37:25,017 I understand everything. 376 00:37:26,058 --> 00:37:29,183 Good night. Happy new year. 377 00:37:37,767 --> 00:37:38,767 Hi. 378 00:37:40,392 --> 00:37:41,892 How was the water? 379 00:37:43,392 --> 00:37:44,600 A little cold. 380 00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,517 Did you love him much? 381 00:37:52,308 --> 00:37:57,767 I don't know, I would've liked to try. 382 00:38:00,183 --> 00:38:01,683 But, so... 383 00:38:02,433 --> 00:38:07,308 - It wasn't love? - I don't know, Ugo. I told you. 384 00:38:09,183 --> 00:38:12,433 Yes, all right. You don't know it... 385 00:38:12,517 --> 00:38:17,308 I mean, if someone asked you just for curiosity who is... 386 00:38:18,267 --> 00:38:23,183 Who is the man that you loved the most in your life? 387 00:38:25,767 --> 00:38:31,683 Pina, what do you feel for me? 388 00:38:32,308 --> 00:38:36,808 - Ugo, I only feel... - I know, I know. 389 00:38:37,517 --> 00:38:40,308 You just feel a little bit of tenderness. 390 00:38:40,392 --> 00:38:44,058 - No, Ugo, just a bit of pity. - But... 391 00:38:44,767 --> 00:38:46,392 Who loves me? 392 00:38:47,017 --> 00:38:49,392 Other than a marriage crisis, 393 00:38:49,475 --> 00:38:53,142 the drama of getting older and of having unfulfilled dreams, 394 00:38:53,225 --> 00:38:58,350 even more difficult challenges were awaiting Mr. and Mrs. Fantozzi. 395 00:39:09,017 --> 00:39:11,350 Hi, Pina. Dinner is not ready?! 396 00:39:11,433 --> 00:39:16,558 It's 8:30, I am hungry! I am tired and I have worked all day! 397 00:39:19,017 --> 00:39:22,767 Come on, I just said that I am hungry. 398 00:39:23,642 --> 00:39:27,850 It's not for you, it's for Mariangela. 399 00:39:27,933 --> 00:39:31,683 - She didn't get her period. - An even better one will start! 400 00:39:31,767 --> 00:39:35,433 - She doesn't have it anymore! - After a period comes another! 401 00:39:35,517 --> 00:39:38,933 She doesn't have her menstruation anymore! 402 00:39:39,017 --> 00:39:43,475 Who talked? What! Her menstruation? 403 00:39:43,558 --> 00:39:48,767 Excuse me, also Mariangela has everything else. 404 00:39:48,850 --> 00:39:52,392 Ugo, she is a girl like everyone else! 405 00:39:54,183 --> 00:39:56,767 I mean, almost like everyone else. 406 00:39:57,392 --> 00:39:59,725 - Do you see this colored circle? - Where? 407 00:39:59,808 --> 00:40:02,767 Here. It means that she is expecting. 408 00:40:02,850 --> 00:40:06,058 Expecting? For what? We can't wait, I'm hungry! 409 00:40:06,142 --> 00:40:10,517 - Ugo, she is pregnant! - You have already told me that... 410 00:40:15,267 --> 00:40:16,350 By who... 411 00:40:17,142 --> 00:40:19,558 Who are we pregnant by? 412 00:40:21,017 --> 00:40:24,058 Poor girl, she didn't want to tell me. 413 00:40:24,642 --> 00:40:28,933 She is in a room, she is afraid of you. 414 00:40:29,017 --> 00:40:31,100 - Ugo. - What? 415 00:40:31,642 --> 00:40:36,225 Please, you know that I am a modern and reasonable father. 416 00:40:36,308 --> 00:40:40,100 I want to face this situation alone, with comprehension and sweetness. 417 00:40:40,183 --> 00:40:42,767 Do you understand? Let me do it by myself. 418 00:40:48,017 --> 00:40:51,433 No, Dad! Help me, Mom! 419 00:40:51,517 --> 00:40:54,975 I will kill you! You don't know what I am capable of! 420 00:40:55,058 --> 00:40:58,392 - Come here, I will kill you! - No! No! 421 00:40:59,642 --> 00:41:04,475 Stop! My poor baby! Come on, honey. It's nothing. 422 00:41:04,558 --> 00:41:06,475 Come on, Mariangela. 423 00:41:07,058 --> 00:41:08,183 Is she breathing? 424 00:41:09,267 --> 00:41:12,517 Is this how you are behaving like a modern father? 425 00:41:13,558 --> 00:41:17,558 Just around 11 o'clock, Mariangela confessed 426 00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:22,100 that it was a colleague, Loris Batacchi. 427 00:41:22,183 --> 00:41:24,933 They went to his house. 428 00:41:25,017 --> 00:41:28,975 They also thought about a genius plan to make him confess 429 00:41:29,058 --> 00:41:34,808 and make him take his responsibility. 430 00:41:36,017 --> 00:41:40,642 I'm coming, my love! How impatient are you! 431 00:41:41,392 --> 00:41:45,225 Excuse me, I was waiting for a woman. Can I help you? 432 00:41:45,308 --> 00:41:48,308 We are members of the Youth Protection Committee. 433 00:41:48,392 --> 00:41:52,600 Then you must be full of stuff! Come in, I'm interested. 434 00:41:52,683 --> 00:41:54,892 Miss, come in, don't be scared. 435 00:41:57,392 --> 00:41:59,517 I'm Loris Batacchi. 436 00:42:00,225 --> 00:42:02,183 - What are you doing? - I kiss her hand. 437 00:42:02,267 --> 00:42:04,600 - So, these little girls... - What? 438 00:42:04,683 --> 00:42:08,933 - This is an investigative report. - On dangers for young girls. 439 00:42:09,017 --> 00:42:13,225 - Seducers. - You are very lucky! 440 00:42:13,308 --> 00:42:16,433 You came to the top, the best of the best! 441 00:42:16,517 --> 00:42:19,308 Please, sit down. Miss, sit down. 442 00:42:19,392 --> 00:42:23,933 If there was a club for ladies' men, I would be the president! 443 00:42:24,017 --> 00:42:28,517 Six thousand victims! It's almost the population of a little town. 444 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:32,933 - My compliments. - Not to brag, but I deserve them. 445 00:42:33,017 --> 00:42:37,100 No, this is optional, I have all that is needed. 446 00:42:37,183 --> 00:42:39,058 Here, have fun! 447 00:42:39,142 --> 00:42:41,808 - Take it, it doesn't bite! - What should I do with it? 448 00:42:41,892 --> 00:42:46,183 It is a little messy here, but this is my office. 449 00:42:46,267 --> 00:42:48,808 Ask me all that you want. 450 00:42:48,892 --> 00:42:52,308 I will not answer tongue in cheek. For now... 451 00:42:52,392 --> 00:42:55,058 - No! - Did you understand? 452 00:42:55,142 --> 00:42:58,600 - Kindly excuse me... - We will give this to the lady! 453 00:42:58,683 --> 00:43:01,683 No, I will keep this. 454 00:43:01,767 --> 00:43:05,600 Can you tell me where you work? 455 00:43:05,683 --> 00:43:08,933 I work at the post office. I take care of packages. 456 00:43:09,017 --> 00:43:12,308 - Wait! - I wanted to explain better. 457 00:43:12,392 --> 00:43:16,058 Can you explain yourself in a more proper way? 458 00:43:16,142 --> 00:43:19,308 - This is really appropriate for me. - I meant for my wife. 459 00:43:19,392 --> 00:43:21,683 Do you know Miss Fantozzi? 460 00:43:22,267 --> 00:43:25,183 - Mariangela Fantozzi. - Mariangela Fantossi... 461 00:43:25,267 --> 00:43:28,475 - Fantozzi! - So, Fantossi... 462 00:43:28,558 --> 00:43:31,767 - Fantozzi! - Yes, it's a Z, I understand! 463 00:43:32,517 --> 00:43:37,350 Let me check my archives, all my women are here! 464 00:43:37,433 --> 00:43:40,017 Excuse me, what do you do? 465 00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:44,267 - I take care of packages! - Yes, you said this before! 466 00:43:44,350 --> 00:43:47,017 Here we go, Fantozzi Mariangela. 467 00:43:47,517 --> 00:43:50,725 Yes, she is a colleague. She works under me. 468 00:43:51,475 --> 00:43:54,475 And you said that you are from the Youth Protection? 469 00:43:55,558 --> 00:43:59,725 {\an8}Liars! You are from the Animal Protection! 470 00:43:59,808 --> 00:44:01,517 {\an8}What is this? 471 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,433 - She is funny. - Yes! 472 00:44:04,517 --> 00:44:07,475 She's a funny kind of monkey! Ugliest in Europe! 473 00:44:08,058 --> 00:44:11,183 - Well... - It was a great satisfaction. 474 00:44:11,267 --> 00:44:15,142 It was a desperate mission, I made a bet with my friends. 475 00:44:15,225 --> 00:44:18,142 One million if I'd bang the monkey! 476 00:44:18,725 --> 00:44:20,350 - That's Mariangela. - Exactly! 477 00:44:20,433 --> 00:44:23,558 No, this is a monkey, not Mariangela! 478 00:44:23,642 --> 00:44:25,725 I will tell you how it went. 479 00:44:25,808 --> 00:44:29,850 I did it in the dark, otherwise not even I could do it. 480 00:44:29,933 --> 00:44:32,725 - What? - We were in the sacks warehouse, 481 00:44:32,808 --> 00:44:36,100 it was dark, outside there was a storm, I put her there 482 00:44:36,183 --> 00:44:39,725 and so I just blindly took her! 483 00:44:39,808 --> 00:44:42,850 I trusted the beast! 484 00:44:42,933 --> 00:44:43,975 - Mariangela? - Ugo! 485 00:44:44,058 --> 00:44:47,350 - No, I mean the girl. - No, my snake. 486 00:44:47,433 --> 00:44:50,600 I told you, in the box there is my snake. 487 00:44:50,683 --> 00:44:56,100 It's a snake that blows up, comes out and never stops! 488 00:44:56,183 --> 00:44:59,183 - You know this, right? - Please, Ugo, do something. 489 00:44:59,267 --> 00:45:02,350 - Sir, please... - Yes, tell me. 490 00:45:02,433 --> 00:45:06,350 For the second time I remind you to use a more civil language 491 00:45:06,433 --> 00:45:09,058 - with my wife. - Why? 492 00:45:09,142 --> 00:45:12,225 Because my wife isn't used to such stories. 493 00:45:12,308 --> 00:45:15,058 - I will make her get used to them! - No, stop! 494 00:45:15,142 --> 00:45:18,433 - Yes? - Me and my wife, 495 00:45:18,517 --> 00:45:20,808 we are Mariangela's parents. 496 00:45:20,892 --> 00:45:24,600 - Of the monkey? - This lady is my wife. 497 00:45:24,683 --> 00:45:26,600 Is she the mother? 498 00:45:26,683 --> 00:45:29,725 Look what a beautiful mom we got! 499 00:45:29,808 --> 00:45:33,767 How are you? You must be someone who doesn't come very much! 500 00:45:33,850 --> 00:45:36,433 - What? - I'll take care of you! 501 00:45:36,517 --> 00:45:40,808 - Beautiful, how old are you? 49? - 44. 502 00:45:40,892 --> 00:45:45,558 I will take care of you, you stay with me for a week. 503 00:45:45,642 --> 00:45:49,808 I will change your hair, I will make you turn blonde! 504 00:45:49,892 --> 00:45:51,808 - Please! - They used to call me 505 00:45:51,892 --> 00:45:55,933 Crazy Tongue! I will make you go crazy. 506 00:45:56,017 --> 00:45:58,017 I will change her completely! 507 00:45:58,100 --> 00:46:02,058 I have a collection of pornographic pictures 508 00:46:02,142 --> 00:46:04,767 with every position. 509 00:46:04,850 --> 00:46:09,683 I will re-create every picture with her. 510 00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:14,725 Rascal! Re-create these pictures with your sister! 511 00:46:14,808 --> 00:46:18,183 - Exactly! - A sister? Does she have a sister? 512 00:46:18,267 --> 00:46:21,183 - What? - Bring your sister as well. 513 00:46:21,267 --> 00:46:24,517 - Hands to yourself. - I will bang your sister too. 514 00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,600 - I will make her go blonde as well. - How dare you? 515 00:46:27,683 --> 00:46:31,267 They call me Crazy Tongue and you know what I will do? 516 00:46:31,350 --> 00:46:34,933 I take her and her sister and I will put them both here. 517 00:46:35,017 --> 00:46:37,058 - Pay attention, I will show you. - Yes. 518 00:46:37,142 --> 00:46:41,308 I will take them like this, then I will rip this off. 519 00:46:41,392 --> 00:46:45,308 I rip this off and then I put them both here. 520 00:46:45,392 --> 00:46:49,058 One here and one there and then I start with my tongue! 521 00:46:49,142 --> 00:46:53,058 Come as well, I'll make you go crazy! 522 00:46:53,142 --> 00:46:56,100 - I will use my tongue! - I'm leaving! 523 00:46:56,183 --> 00:46:59,558 You stay here with me, I will add you to my archives! 524 00:46:59,642 --> 00:47:02,725 Do you have a picture? We can use the one on your driving license. 525 00:47:02,808 --> 00:47:06,100 - Ugo, don't be too friendly! - I will use my tongue! 526 00:47:06,183 --> 00:47:09,433 I am a manly man and I have big balls! 527 00:47:09,517 --> 00:47:11,475 - Where were we? - Let's go away. 528 00:47:11,558 --> 00:47:15,808 Yes, but we are pregnant. I mean, what about Mariangela? 529 00:47:15,892 --> 00:47:17,725 Do you want to marry her to someone like that? 530 00:47:17,808 --> 00:47:22,558 Yes, even more difficult! I will add this one too! 531 00:47:22,642 --> 00:47:29,683 No! Do you know what? We don't care about your chestnuts. 532 00:47:29,767 --> 00:47:32,850 - Nuts. - Your nuts and your tongue! 533 00:47:32,933 --> 00:47:34,308 Goodbye. 534 00:47:34,392 --> 00:47:37,017 - Could I really go crazy? - Let's go! 535 00:47:39,475 --> 00:47:42,433 Trying to save her from being a single mother, 536 00:47:42,517 --> 00:47:46,433 they resorted to a pregnancy termination. 537 00:47:46,517 --> 00:47:51,975 Fantozzi made an appointment with Dr. Gandini, a gynecologist 538 00:47:52,058 --> 00:47:56,808 who was recommended to him by an illegal parking attendant. 539 00:47:57,933 --> 00:48:01,225 Good morning, do you want to make a good deal? I have a fresh liver. 540 00:48:01,308 --> 00:48:04,183 - And a heart also. - No! 541 00:48:05,767 --> 00:48:08,683 - I'm not interested. - It's a one-time deal! 542 00:48:08,767 --> 00:48:11,642 - I don't care. - You may need it someday! 543 00:48:12,225 --> 00:48:13,933 - Goodbye. - Do you need blood? 544 00:48:14,017 --> 00:48:17,183 I even have Rh negative for a very good price. 545 00:48:17,267 --> 00:48:20,767 I have a place in dialysis. Six million and it's yours. 546 00:48:26,933 --> 00:48:32,725 In order to get free, Fantozzi bought the cheapest thing, 547 00:48:32,808 --> 00:48:37,100 2 liters of souped-up urine to avoid military service. 548 00:48:37,183 --> 00:48:39,517 Excuse me, listen. 549 00:48:41,100 --> 00:48:43,892 He took all the money from his bank account 550 00:48:43,975 --> 00:48:48,808 because they told him that he would have to bribe someone. 551 00:48:51,517 --> 00:48:53,142 - Excuse me... - Ten thousand. 552 00:48:56,267 --> 00:49:00,100 Here, I brought an envelope with all my savings. 553 00:49:00,183 --> 00:49:03,725 Here is 10,000. Excuse me, I have an appointment with... 554 00:49:03,808 --> 00:49:06,642 - Thirty thousand. - With Dr. Sarace. 555 00:49:07,225 --> 00:49:09,558 One, two and three. 556 00:49:09,642 --> 00:49:12,475 The doctor isn't here. He is on vacation. 557 00:49:12,558 --> 00:49:16,183 First I gave you 10,000, now 30,000, so... 558 00:49:16,267 --> 00:49:19,808 I have to give the money right away to the doctor in Cortina. 559 00:49:19,892 --> 00:49:21,225 I must wire him the money. 560 00:49:22,017 --> 00:49:26,350 - You will send... - Give me 500 lira for the stamp. 561 00:49:27,350 --> 00:49:29,683 Yes, right. I didn't think of that. 562 00:49:29,767 --> 00:49:33,475 I will give you 10,000 lira so you will give me the change. 563 00:49:35,058 --> 00:49:37,850 You put them away... You don't give change. 564 00:49:37,933 --> 00:49:39,100 All right, 565 00:49:39,183 --> 00:49:45,433 I will use the rest of the money to ask you who is his substitute. 566 00:49:45,517 --> 00:49:47,808 - Giovanni Rava. - Where is he? 567 00:49:47,892 --> 00:49:50,683 - He isn't here, he is on strike. - Strike? 568 00:49:50,767 --> 00:49:54,058 - Is it urgent? - Yes, it is... 569 00:49:54,142 --> 00:49:55,267 One hundred thousand. 570 00:49:55,975 --> 00:49:58,517 This is a desperate case. All right, 100,000. 571 00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:02,808 For such money, Fantozzi found out that for urgent cases, 572 00:50:02,892 --> 00:50:05,933 the doctor in charge of the gynecology ward 573 00:50:06,017 --> 00:50:09,267 was Dr. Grandi, an orthopedist. 574 00:50:09,350 --> 00:50:11,475 Same floor, after radiology. 575 00:50:11,558 --> 00:50:15,308 Same floor. Thank you, you have been very kind. 576 00:50:16,058 --> 00:50:17,642 Goodbye, Miss. 577 00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,642 - Goodbye, Miss. - Goodbye. 578 00:50:24,808 --> 00:50:28,808 - Here! Doctor! - My wife is at the second... 579 00:50:28,892 --> 00:50:32,642 - No, I'm not the doctor. - Doctor, please help me! 580 00:50:32,725 --> 00:50:37,433 Silence, enough! Go away! Don't you see he is not the doctor? 581 00:50:38,642 --> 00:50:41,058 Don't you see that he's a poor handicapped man? 582 00:50:41,142 --> 00:50:45,933 - Come, I will take you to your ward. - No, there is a mistake. 583 00:50:46,017 --> 00:50:49,308 - Come, dear, come to your room. - What are you talking about? 584 00:50:49,392 --> 00:50:52,600 - No, I have to go that way. - We will take care of you! 585 00:50:52,683 --> 00:50:55,433 - I have an important appointment. - Calm down! 586 00:50:55,517 --> 00:50:57,933 - Come! - Please, let go of me! 587 00:50:58,017 --> 00:51:01,017 - Don't you resist me! - Sister, let me go! 588 00:51:03,392 --> 00:51:06,058 Excuse me... What are you doing? 589 00:51:06,142 --> 00:51:08,350 It's impossible! Sister! 590 00:51:12,183 --> 00:51:16,142 Sister... All right, I will explain to you later. 591 00:51:17,267 --> 00:51:21,058 You are lucky, here you are all lucky. 592 00:51:21,142 --> 00:51:25,975 Our doctors are checking you with modern machines, 593 00:51:26,058 --> 00:51:28,683 the latest technology. 594 00:51:32,142 --> 00:51:33,683 Don't worry. 595 00:51:36,100 --> 00:51:37,642 Have a good day. 596 00:51:40,725 --> 00:51:42,517 - Excuse me, can you tell me... - Shh! 597 00:51:51,392 --> 00:51:53,308 Come on! Come on! 598 00:51:53,392 --> 00:51:55,100 Come on! 599 00:51:55,183 --> 00:51:59,017 - Hooray! I won! - Yes! Now you have to pay! 600 00:51:59,933 --> 00:52:02,017 ORTHOPEDICS 601 00:52:21,058 --> 00:52:22,558 Just one moment. 602 00:52:26,725 --> 00:52:28,183 {\an8}Here it is. 603 00:52:28,975 --> 00:52:30,975 THE DOCTOR IS IN THE WARD 604 00:52:35,058 --> 00:52:37,058 - Here. - Thank you. 605 00:52:37,142 --> 00:52:41,308 - Excuse me, where is the ward? - And you are asking me? 606 00:52:41,975 --> 00:52:46,558 What? Don't you work here? 607 00:52:46,642 --> 00:52:50,683 Me? What are you talking about? I work at a pizza place. 608 00:52:50,767 --> 00:52:54,683 I came to see my mother, she is so sick! 609 00:53:01,308 --> 00:53:02,433 My handicapped man! 610 00:53:03,308 --> 00:53:05,308 No! It's you again! 611 00:53:06,558 --> 00:53:08,308 Wait a second. 612 00:53:11,267 --> 00:53:13,267 No, you are hurting me! 613 00:53:16,808 --> 00:53:19,017 Sister, I am not handicapped. 614 00:53:19,558 --> 00:53:23,308 - Here! - We might hurt ourselves. 615 00:53:23,392 --> 00:53:25,642 - Now come to the ward. - What ward? 616 00:53:26,267 --> 00:53:28,933 Wait! No! 617 00:53:29,017 --> 00:53:31,142 - Look what is down here. - No! 618 00:53:42,350 --> 00:53:44,642 - Did you get everything? - Yes, doctor. 619 00:53:44,725 --> 00:53:47,808 - Well, we will need some time. - Yes, you are right. 620 00:53:47,892 --> 00:53:50,308 It is better to keep him here for a day. 621 00:53:50,392 --> 00:53:54,308 Excuse me. Mr. Professor, Engineer Grandi. 622 00:53:54,392 --> 00:53:56,808 - "Mahatma Grandi". - Yes? 623 00:53:57,475 --> 00:53:59,475 - What is that? - It's 50,000 lira. 624 00:53:59,558 --> 00:54:01,933 How dare you? Put them away now! 625 00:54:02,017 --> 00:54:05,058 - Excuse me, I didn't know that... - What do you want? 626 00:54:05,142 --> 00:54:09,808 Unfortunately I'm here for a pregnancy termination. 627 00:54:09,892 --> 00:54:13,975 No, it's not for me, it's for my monkey... My daughter. 628 00:54:14,058 --> 00:54:15,683 No, never! 629 00:54:15,767 --> 00:54:19,433 I'm sorry, I didn't know. But with the new law, everybody can... 630 00:54:19,517 --> 00:54:23,433 I'm a Catholic, a conscientious objector and an orthopedist. 631 00:54:23,517 --> 00:54:25,975 I'm ignorant of that subject. 632 00:54:26,058 --> 00:54:30,808 Yes, but they told me that you are the substitute for the gynecologist. 633 00:54:30,892 --> 00:54:35,433 I do what I can, but I have a high percentage of mistakes. 634 00:54:35,517 --> 00:54:38,725 - What? - Listen, dear. Do something. 635 00:54:38,808 --> 00:54:42,558 Wait until Dr. Marini comes back. 636 00:54:42,642 --> 00:54:46,683 - What should I do in the meantime? - You can reserve a bed. 637 00:54:46,767 --> 00:54:50,517 - How long should I wait? - Two years if everything goes right. 638 00:54:52,517 --> 00:54:57,933 Two years? But a pregnancy takes nine months! 639 00:54:58,017 --> 00:55:01,308 - Really? - You don't know that? 640 00:55:01,392 --> 00:55:04,683 I told you that I am an orthopedist. Nine months? 641 00:55:04,767 --> 00:55:08,558 Yours is an urgent case then. Do you have one million? 642 00:55:08,642 --> 00:55:11,808 - Wait... Yes. - Good, let me see it. 643 00:55:11,892 --> 00:55:14,600 Excuse me, doctor. Let me ask you a question. 644 00:55:14,683 --> 00:55:18,683 - You didn't want 50,000 before... - Because it was 50,000 lira. 645 00:55:18,767 --> 00:55:22,308 Did you take me for a nurse, dear? 646 00:55:22,392 --> 00:55:24,600 - Here. - No, I will not touch it! 647 00:55:24,683 --> 00:55:28,808 You are all witnesses to that! Give it to the sister. Bye, dear. 648 00:55:28,892 --> 00:55:31,892 - Sister, give him a single room. - Right, then... 649 00:55:32,933 --> 00:55:36,933 The room in which Fantozzi spent the night 650 00:55:37,017 --> 00:55:41,142 wasn't a single room, but the feared surgery room 651 00:55:41,225 --> 00:55:45,725 of Dr. Zambrini Loredan, also known as "Jack the Ripper". 652 00:55:45,808 --> 00:55:48,308 - What happened? - Shut up. 653 00:55:48,392 --> 00:55:50,475 - Sister, have mercy. - Don't move. 654 00:55:51,058 --> 00:55:53,975 There is a mistake, I am here for my daughter. 655 00:55:54,058 --> 00:55:58,475 - We know why you are here. - What do you want to do to me? 656 00:56:02,433 --> 00:56:06,767 Don't do that, my bladder is weak. 657 00:56:16,392 --> 00:56:18,642 - Well done. - Good. 658 00:56:22,683 --> 00:56:25,267 - Scalpel. - Scalpel? 659 00:56:26,933 --> 00:56:28,433 Did he hurt you? 660 00:56:31,058 --> 00:56:33,767 - What are we doing? - I don't know. 661 00:56:34,767 --> 00:56:37,683 - Chart. - Doctor. Doctor. 662 00:56:37,767 --> 00:56:39,433 I don't have one. 663 00:56:44,933 --> 00:56:47,392 His chart isn't here. 664 00:56:47,475 --> 00:56:49,392 - His chart isn't there? - It's not here. 665 00:56:49,475 --> 00:56:53,767 I heard that we have to cut off something with three letters. 666 00:56:54,392 --> 00:56:56,600 Three letters, three letters... 667 00:56:56,683 --> 00:56:58,058 Arm... 668 00:56:59,267 --> 00:57:03,058 - Let's cut off his arm! - What? An arm? 669 00:57:04,808 --> 00:57:06,933 - No, my arm, no! - Good. 670 00:57:08,017 --> 00:57:10,850 - It could also be a leg. - Well, I'll get ready. 671 00:57:10,933 --> 00:57:14,183 I'm not sure, I'll cut them both. 672 00:57:14,892 --> 00:57:16,517 Not both! 673 00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:21,558 The janitor said it was something with four letters, not three. 674 00:57:22,683 --> 00:57:27,183 Guys! Then it could be a knee. 675 00:57:27,267 --> 00:57:31,267 Or his foot, his hand. Even his head! 676 00:57:33,183 --> 00:57:34,892 - Shut up! - Excuse me. 677 00:57:34,975 --> 00:57:36,475 Wait, doctor. 678 00:57:37,100 --> 00:57:40,558 - Yes, it's his chart. - The chart! 679 00:57:40,642 --> 00:57:42,808 - Here, doctor. - Good job! Beautiful! 680 00:57:42,892 --> 00:57:45,808 Good! Firm! A firm sister! 681 00:57:45,892 --> 00:57:47,933 - Yes! - Doctor! 682 00:57:48,017 --> 00:57:51,183 - What are you doing? - I had a moment... 683 00:57:51,267 --> 00:57:54,100 Excuse me, it's hot in here. 684 00:57:54,183 --> 00:57:55,683 The chart. 685 00:57:55,767 --> 00:57:58,558 The chart belonged to Baccellari Vincenzo. 686 00:57:59,267 --> 00:58:00,933 Extra big scissors. 687 00:58:01,017 --> 00:58:03,308 He was a famous transvestite 688 00:58:03,392 --> 00:58:09,392 who went to the hospital to fulfill his dream of becoming a woman. 689 00:58:09,475 --> 00:58:10,975 He is like a doll. 690 00:58:12,558 --> 00:58:15,767 Here it is! Extra small scissors! 691 00:58:17,142 --> 00:58:18,725 - Here. - Magnifying glass. 692 00:58:22,183 --> 00:58:26,933 To denounce that tragic mistake and get back what they took, 693 00:58:27,017 --> 00:58:29,725 {\an8}Fantozzi wrote a letter to the President of the Republic. 694 00:58:29,808 --> 00:58:30,683 {\an8}OPERATING ROOM 695 00:58:30,767 --> 00:58:33,142 {\an8}Thanks to that high intervention, 696 00:58:33,225 --> 00:58:38,600 {\an8}Fantozzi was able to get his tool back 697 00:58:38,683 --> 00:58:42,058 {\an8}that was just about to be used 698 00:58:42,142 --> 00:58:46,142 {\an8}as a toe for a carpenter who cut his off. 699 00:58:46,225 --> 00:58:51,017 When Fantozzi got out of the hospital Mariangela was about to give birth. 700 00:58:55,392 --> 00:58:58,933 Dad! Mom! It's moving! 701 00:58:59,475 --> 00:59:02,517 Where? Who is moving? 702 00:59:04,558 --> 00:59:06,100 What's there? 703 00:59:06,183 --> 00:59:09,892 - He kicked me! - Let me feel it. 704 00:59:14,058 --> 00:59:17,600 It's just... kicks! 705 00:59:17,683 --> 00:59:21,558 Two days later, she went into labor. 706 00:59:24,892 --> 00:59:26,600 Here it is! 707 00:59:26,683 --> 00:59:29,392 - What shall we do? - Wait, I'll stop it. 708 00:59:30,892 --> 00:59:33,558 Here, round the corner! Come! 709 00:59:46,142 --> 00:59:51,392 Fantozzi was forced to take the nurses to the hospital. 710 01:00:01,267 --> 01:00:02,683 Here it is! 711 01:00:04,642 --> 01:00:06,892 Mr. Rossi, it's a boy. 712 01:00:08,933 --> 01:00:11,183 - Mr. Rossi? - Aren't you Mr. Rossi? 713 01:00:11,267 --> 01:00:15,767 - No, my name is Fantozzi. - I'm sorry. Where is Mr. Rossi? 714 01:00:16,642 --> 01:00:19,808 It happens. You're next. 715 01:00:20,683 --> 01:00:22,933 Have no fear. 716 01:00:23,017 --> 01:00:26,850 Mr. Fantozzi, childbirth is a part of nature. 717 01:00:26,933 --> 01:00:32,183 Birth is beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful! 718 01:00:37,767 --> 01:00:41,642 - What will this baby look like? - Gorgeous. 719 01:00:42,517 --> 01:00:46,392 Do you remember how cute Mariangela was when she was born? 720 01:00:58,142 --> 01:01:00,767 Hurry, the doctor fainted! 721 01:01:01,642 --> 01:01:05,642 - Oh, God! - What happened... 722 01:01:11,808 --> 01:01:13,433 Here he is! 723 01:01:15,433 --> 01:01:17,642 - Yes! - Yes, us two! 724 01:01:19,183 --> 01:01:20,642 What's he doing? 725 01:01:25,392 --> 01:01:27,392 Pina, what is that? 726 01:01:30,892 --> 01:01:35,767 For our grandfather: Hip, hip, hurray! 727 01:01:36,392 --> 01:01:38,308 - Good! - Congratulations! 728 01:01:38,392 --> 01:01:42,850 - Cheers! - Accountant, is it a girl or a boy? 729 01:01:44,767 --> 01:01:47,808 So... this... him... 730 01:01:47,892 --> 01:01:51,683 - The doctors still haven't decided. - Okay. 731 01:01:51,767 --> 01:01:53,433 Who does it look like? 732 01:01:54,392 --> 01:01:57,933 It doesn't look anything like me. 733 01:01:58,017 --> 01:02:02,058 Tell us what it looks like at least. 734 01:02:02,142 --> 01:02:06,142 - It... That... - Newborn. 735 01:02:06,767 --> 01:02:10,767 This newborn has a... 736 01:02:12,267 --> 01:02:14,100 - A nose? - No, it's not a nose, 737 01:02:14,183 --> 01:02:17,058 - that's the part behind. - The nose is behind? 738 01:02:17,142 --> 01:02:20,933 - Yes, one can... - Turn it upside down? 739 01:02:21,017 --> 01:02:25,017 - And it has... - Bumps? 740 01:02:27,392 --> 01:02:30,058 - It's a bird? - No. 741 01:02:30,642 --> 01:02:33,683 - It's like a... - A trombone? 742 01:02:33,767 --> 01:02:35,892 - It plays the trombone? - No. 743 01:02:37,142 --> 01:02:39,683 Accountant, don't you have a photo? 744 01:02:39,767 --> 01:02:41,767 With a trombone? 745 01:02:41,850 --> 01:02:45,350 I have a... It's a surprise! 746 01:02:45,433 --> 01:02:49,058 Let us see, come on! Well, well, well. 747 01:02:49,142 --> 01:02:51,683 Here. Wait... 748 01:02:51,767 --> 01:02:55,558 - Show it better. - One moment, I don't remember... 749 01:02:55,642 --> 01:02:59,100 - We need to mark the side. - Maybe the other side. 750 01:02:59,183 --> 01:03:02,642 - You say it's like that? - Here. 751 01:03:05,142 --> 01:03:08,642 What are you doing? What's this noise? 752 01:03:09,392 --> 01:03:12,808 - We are looking at a photo of... - I want to see it! 753 01:03:12,892 --> 01:03:14,683 - You want? - Yes! 754 01:03:14,767 --> 01:03:16,767 No, it's not... 755 01:03:20,767 --> 01:03:23,933 For over 20 years, Accountant Fonelli, 756 01:03:24,017 --> 01:03:27,058 who was a big fan of athletics, 757 01:03:27,142 --> 01:03:30,850 and when young had been a mediocre runner, 758 01:03:30,933 --> 01:03:37,392 was trying in vain to arrange an amateur athletics event. 759 01:03:38,183 --> 01:03:43,308 We decided to participate in the same contest. 760 01:03:43,392 --> 01:03:47,558 - Okay, what contest? - Shittus throw! 761 01:03:48,683 --> 01:03:51,225 Put me down! Leave me alone! 762 01:03:51,308 --> 01:03:54,142 Put me down! Jerks! 763 01:03:56,017 --> 01:04:00,808 Leave! Go play with a ball! 764 01:04:00,892 --> 01:04:04,683 Go to the stadium to watch a match! 765 01:04:04,767 --> 01:04:08,642 You don't know anything, athletics is the queen of sports! 766 01:04:09,225 --> 01:04:10,767 Fonelli! 767 01:04:25,392 --> 01:04:28,433 - What happened? - Thief! Thief! 768 01:04:28,517 --> 01:04:31,183 {\an8}- That's not my car. - Mine neither, sir. 769 01:04:31,267 --> 01:04:35,308 {\an8}- What's that, a car alarm? - No, it's not a car alarm. 770 01:04:35,392 --> 01:04:38,225 {\an8}It's coming from up there, it's a house alarm. 771 01:04:38,308 --> 01:04:41,433 {\an8}- Silence! - I can't sleep anymore! 772 01:04:41,517 --> 01:04:45,683 - Enough, turn that sound off! - Let me sleep! 773 01:04:45,767 --> 01:04:51,767 It wasn't an alarm, it was the crying of Mariangela's baby 774 01:04:52,517 --> 01:04:57,225 who would always do this on a full moon night. 775 01:04:57,308 --> 01:05:01,683 The family knew this and so they were prepared. 776 01:05:01,767 --> 01:05:05,850 So, they didn't even hear the telephone. 777 01:05:05,933 --> 01:05:10,225 It was Mr. Filini, who for the whole night, 778 01:05:10,308 --> 01:05:15,308 tried to give Fantozzi the most terrifying of news. 779 01:05:15,392 --> 01:05:19,350 Through a series of blackmail and spying, 780 01:05:19,433 --> 01:05:24,308 connections to the mafia, terrorists and freemasonry, 781 01:05:24,392 --> 01:05:28,850 and with four lifetime subscriptions to "Christian Family", 782 01:05:28,933 --> 01:05:32,058 harmless accountant Fonelli 783 01:05:32,142 --> 01:05:38,433 had been suddenly nominated Mega Natural Human Resource Director. 784 01:05:38,517 --> 01:05:43,183 He took the name of Cobram the Second. 785 01:05:44,392 --> 01:05:47,558 Dear subordinates, I see with pleasure 786 01:05:47,642 --> 01:05:51,100 that finally you all agree 787 01:05:51,183 --> 01:05:53,933 about the beauty of sport, 788 01:05:54,017 --> 01:05:57,433 about how important it is to practice it, 789 01:05:57,517 --> 01:06:00,058 and about the teachings of De Coubertin. 790 01:06:00,142 --> 01:06:02,850 Athletics is the queen of sports. 791 01:06:02,933 --> 01:06:03,975 Fonelli! 792 01:06:06,308 --> 01:06:09,933 The queen of sports! I propose a "shittus throw"! 793 01:06:10,017 --> 01:06:13,642 Look how you are dressed! Like a boss? 794 01:06:31,350 --> 01:06:35,308 ADMINISTRATION OFFICE 795 01:06:35,392 --> 01:06:39,350 BRIBES AND BACKINGS OFFICE 796 01:06:39,433 --> 01:06:43,850 THEFT AND BLACKMAIL OFFICE 797 01:06:43,933 --> 01:06:46,850 ACCIDENT OFFICE 798 01:07:33,767 --> 01:07:36,267 Look, there's Grandpa! 799 01:08:00,017 --> 01:08:03,433 I declare open the first office games. 800 01:08:04,017 --> 01:08:05,392 Remember, 801 01:08:06,308 --> 01:08:09,975 it's important to not just participate, but to win! 802 01:08:10,058 --> 01:08:15,392 To the winning team there will be no prize or songs, 803 01:08:15,475 --> 01:08:17,725 or honor, or trophies. 804 01:08:18,308 --> 01:08:23,350 Instead, all members of the losing team 805 01:08:24,017 --> 01:08:30,892 will be transferred to our mine at Small Rock in Sardinia 806 01:08:30,975 --> 01:08:34,892 and there, used as donkeys. 807 01:08:38,433 --> 01:08:40,892 Athletes, ready! 808 01:08:43,892 --> 01:08:48,433 They started with the 100-meter dash. 809 01:08:48,517 --> 01:08:51,433 It's up to you, understand? 810 01:08:51,517 --> 01:08:54,308 - Don't distract me! - Sorry. 811 01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:02,433 To your starting position. Ready? 812 01:09:05,808 --> 01:09:11,100 High jump performed by Fantozzi of the Accident Office. 813 01:09:11,183 --> 01:09:13,308 Filini, get ready. 814 01:09:52,017 --> 01:09:53,433 Wait. 815 01:10:02,058 --> 01:10:05,308 Let me go! Let me pass! 816 01:10:14,683 --> 01:10:17,808 The results after the high jump. Bribes Office: 7 points. 817 01:10:17,892 --> 01:10:20,517 Blackmail Office: 6. Administration: 2. 818 01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:24,058 - Accident Office: 0 points. - To your positions. Ready? 819 01:10:28,850 --> 01:10:33,892 Pole vault performed by Fantozzi and Filini from the Accident Office 820 01:10:33,975 --> 01:10:36,308 and Paternò from Administration. 821 01:10:40,308 --> 01:10:44,933 - What is he doing over there? - Isn't this pole climbing? 822 01:10:45,017 --> 01:10:47,058 No, it's pole vault! 823 01:10:47,142 --> 01:10:50,808 So it's not pole climbing. All right. 824 01:10:50,892 --> 01:10:53,683 Next up: Accountant Filini. 825 01:11:02,267 --> 01:11:05,100 After the 27th false start, 826 01:11:05,183 --> 01:11:09,975 there was the unbelievable suicide of Judge Di Tommaso. 827 01:11:10,058 --> 01:11:14,933 Fantozzi was forced to voluntarily substitute him. 828 01:11:15,017 --> 01:11:17,892 - Go! - Good start. 829 01:11:21,266 --> 01:11:24,808 Situation after 100 meters. Bribes Office: 9 points. 830 01:11:24,892 --> 01:11:28,516 Blackmail Office: 7. Administration Office: 5. Accident Office: 0 points. 831 01:11:29,267 --> 01:11:32,933 Then, in the shot put... 832 01:11:33,017 --> 01:11:35,724 You stand here and throw it there. 833 01:11:35,807 --> 01:11:39,057 Come on, throw it far! Let's go. 834 01:11:39,808 --> 01:11:42,975 -It's mine -I don't think so, let's see. 835 01:11:43,057 --> 01:11:45,058 - Look... - It's ours! 836 01:11:45,141 --> 01:11:47,850 - No, look better. - It's ours! 837 01:11:48,391 --> 01:11:51,767 Three-thousand hurdle race. 838 01:11:53,767 --> 01:11:55,767 Be good. 839 01:11:56,517 --> 01:11:57,724 Be good. 840 01:12:22,267 --> 01:12:26,183 So Fantozzi very wickedly tried to pretend it was 841 01:12:26,267 --> 01:12:29,350 a 50-meter breaststroke. 842 01:12:29,932 --> 01:12:34,975 In the meantime, the women weren't having good results. 843 01:12:36,933 --> 01:12:42,100 Wait a second, I'm not ready, I have to concentrate. 844 01:12:42,183 --> 01:12:43,767 Wait, one moment. 845 01:12:46,017 --> 01:12:47,183 I have to concentrate. 846 01:12:58,642 --> 01:13:05,892 {\an8}WORLD RECORD 847 01:13:14,433 --> 01:13:16,683 - Hey, it's your turn! - Whose turn? 848 01:13:16,767 --> 01:13:18,892 - Yours! - Mine? Go! 849 01:13:24,517 --> 01:13:26,267 What happened? 850 01:13:41,267 --> 01:13:44,183 The Accident Office is disqualified. 851 01:13:44,267 --> 01:13:45,558 Attention! 852 01:13:46,808 --> 01:13:51,433 - What was it? - There are dangerous objects. 853 01:13:51,517 --> 01:13:53,517 I didn't see anything. 854 01:13:55,183 --> 01:13:58,725 Hammer throw, next up: Fantozzi. 855 01:13:59,308 --> 01:14:00,767 Good morning. 856 01:14:09,683 --> 01:14:11,683 This isn't okay? 857 01:14:11,767 --> 01:14:13,517 Okay. It's okay. 858 01:14:16,017 --> 01:14:18,517 It's heavy! I can't do it with that? 859 01:14:27,308 --> 01:14:29,308 Fantozzi's first throw. 860 01:14:32,308 --> 01:14:33,683 Invalid. 861 01:14:34,642 --> 01:14:36,308 Second throw... 862 01:14:38,433 --> 01:14:39,433 Where is he? 863 01:14:41,517 --> 01:14:43,142 Fantozzi's second throw. 864 01:14:47,933 --> 01:14:50,100 Fantozzi's third throw. 865 01:14:53,183 --> 01:14:55,058 Valid throw. 866 01:14:56,642 --> 01:14:59,683 Here are the results before the last game. 867 01:14:59,767 --> 01:15:02,683 Bribes Office: 16 points. Blackmail Office: 14. 868 01:15:02,767 --> 01:15:06,183 Administration: 7. Accident Office: 0 points. 869 01:15:07,142 --> 01:15:13,058 In order not to end up with zero points and being transferred to Small Rock, 870 01:15:13,142 --> 01:15:17,183 Filini came up with a plan to win at least the last game, 871 01:15:17,267 --> 01:15:21,392 the 4x100 relay, that was worth 20 points. 872 01:15:25,683 --> 01:15:31,475 In the end, it was just a tragic trick to make them run faster. 873 01:15:31,558 --> 01:15:38,308 In the bathroom, they did a dreadful drawing for who'd be the last runner. 874 01:15:38,392 --> 01:15:43,725 It was won by Fantozzi, the luckiest of them all. 875 01:15:44,308 --> 01:15:46,558 Run, Fantozzi, run! 876 01:15:49,267 --> 01:15:51,642 It's exploding! 877 01:15:56,142 --> 01:15:58,058 Look how fast Dad is! 878 01:16:00,267 --> 01:16:02,267 Dad came in first! 879 01:16:07,600 --> 01:16:08,475 {\an8}RADICAL PARTY 880 01:16:08,558 --> 01:16:11,975 And then the elections arrived. 881 01:16:12,058 --> 01:16:15,975 Fantozzi felt very much his duty and right as a citizen. 882 01:16:16,058 --> 01:16:19,933 He sensed the uncertainties 883 01:16:20,017 --> 01:16:22,683 and the fears of being wrong one more time. 884 01:16:22,767 --> 01:16:27,267 So, he read everything about every possible party. 885 01:16:27,350 --> 01:16:29,392 Sir, you're missing "Sardinia Today". 886 01:16:29,475 --> 01:16:31,642 - I'll get it. - Fifty thousand. 887 01:16:36,308 --> 01:16:38,642 He pretended to be sick 888 01:16:38,725 --> 01:16:43,433 and stayed home watching TV. 889 01:16:43,517 --> 01:16:45,433 - What? - You want a snack? 890 01:16:45,517 --> 01:16:49,683 - No, nothing, I'm watching. - You haven't eaten in two days. 891 01:16:49,767 --> 01:16:55,725 Pina, if this time I vote wrong, we won't eat again for ten years! 892 01:16:55,808 --> 01:16:58,308 - Get out, leave! - Okay. 893 01:16:58,392 --> 01:17:00,892 - Make me a strong coffee. - Okay. 894 01:17:01,642 --> 01:17:05,267 From morning to night, he never missed a political debate 895 01:17:05,350 --> 01:17:10,933 or an electoral speech or a round table. 896 01:17:11,017 --> 01:17:17,183 He watched every possible TV channel and on all three TVs they had. 897 01:17:17,933 --> 01:17:22,558 Confused by all the information that he kept on taking, 898 01:17:22,642 --> 01:17:25,725 he soon lost perception 899 01:17:25,808 --> 01:17:30,933 and started to have hallucinations. 900 01:17:31,017 --> 01:17:38,100 Fantozzi, fast with me, it will be an extraordinary lesson for those thieves! 901 01:17:38,183 --> 01:17:43,975 This is a good idea, the leader and you, the base of the pyramid, fast together. 902 01:17:44,975 --> 01:17:47,933 I will drink some coffee and you will pay for it. 903 01:17:48,517 --> 01:17:51,142 But you're used to fasting. 904 01:17:51,225 --> 01:17:55,642 Fantozzi, as you can see, I'm not fond of fasting. 905 01:17:55,725 --> 01:17:58,892 - I could tell. - I agree with Pannella, 906 01:17:58,975 --> 01:18:03,683 you're doomed to fast, dear Fantozzi. 907 01:18:03,767 --> 01:18:06,725 - Limit your consumption. - Even more? 908 01:18:06,808 --> 01:18:10,808 Of course, make four or five more holes in your belt, 909 01:18:10,892 --> 01:18:15,725 while I go to my villa in Florence and make a pork chop 910 01:18:16,267 --> 01:18:18,225 with French fries. 911 01:18:19,142 --> 01:18:23,683 I ask for your vote, Fantozzi, for the majority party, 912 01:18:23,767 --> 01:18:27,350 especially in the interest of your mental health. 913 01:18:27,433 --> 01:18:29,725 - Of course. - After almost 40 years 914 01:18:29,808 --> 01:18:33,100 of continuous Christian Democratic abuse, 915 01:18:33,183 --> 01:18:36,308 - you have become addicted. - Exactly. 916 01:18:36,392 --> 01:18:40,933 What are you doing without Fanfani, a good god of your house? 917 01:18:41,017 --> 01:18:44,058 - And without Saint Rumor Mariano? - Good morning. 918 01:18:44,142 --> 01:18:48,433 And what about Honorable Guts, who was Minister of the Interiors? 919 01:18:49,017 --> 01:18:50,308 This is why! 920 01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:54,350 Say yes, Fantozzi, or you'll have a withdrawal crisis. 921 01:18:54,433 --> 01:18:58,308 - Crisis? - Don't listen to him, Fantozzi! 922 01:18:59,767 --> 01:19:01,100 You are exploited, 923 01:19:01,183 --> 01:19:05,267 you are the prototype of the exploited, you must change. 924 01:19:05,850 --> 01:19:08,267 - I should change my hair? - You need to reinvent yourself, 925 01:19:08,350 --> 01:19:12,558 you must change your exploiter. You had them all, try us too. 926 01:19:12,642 --> 01:19:16,017 - We are second to none. - You mean that you too... 927 01:19:17,392 --> 01:19:19,142 If you endorse my party, 928 01:19:19,225 --> 01:19:23,017 I will resolve the problems of the pensions. 929 01:19:23,100 --> 01:19:23,975 Thank you! 930 01:19:24,058 --> 01:19:27,600 Don't thank me, I'm talking about my pension, not yours. 931 01:19:27,683 --> 01:19:30,892 I'm getting old and I take care of my mother. 932 01:19:30,975 --> 01:19:34,433 Sorry, you want me to take care of your mother? 933 01:19:34,517 --> 01:19:38,183 - No, no, Fantozzi! - Yes, yes, indeed! 934 01:19:38,267 --> 01:19:40,642 Mothers should stay out of this. 935 01:19:40,725 --> 01:19:43,558 No! Don't look at me like that! 936 01:19:44,142 --> 01:19:50,975 If you can let me have your address, I will send you some comrades 937 01:19:51,058 --> 01:19:55,975 to give you some castor oil and explain our program. 938 01:19:56,058 --> 01:19:59,100 - Another time. - What do I think about Fantozzi? 939 01:19:59,183 --> 01:20:02,892 Being a woman, I find him repellent. 940 01:20:03,767 --> 01:20:04,850 Also you? 941 01:20:04,933 --> 01:20:09,308 We are scared about this fall and this winter. 942 01:20:09,392 --> 01:20:11,808 Dear Fantozzi, what can we do? 943 01:20:11,892 --> 01:20:15,058 - You're asking me? - Lama, Carniti and myself have decided 944 01:20:15,142 --> 01:20:19,100 to fight as much as we can to get an invitation 945 01:20:19,183 --> 01:20:23,725 on Agnelli's yacht for a cruise on the Mediterranean sea 946 01:20:23,808 --> 01:20:26,808 - to the Seychelles, or the Bermuda. - I'm not coming? 947 01:20:26,892 --> 01:20:31,725 What can I say? Stability is the big problem. 948 01:20:31,808 --> 01:20:35,850 If you vote for me, I'll get into Palazzo Chigi 949 01:20:35,933 --> 01:20:38,850 and no one will be able to get me out of there. 950 01:20:38,933 --> 01:20:45,142 Excuse me... From this stability of yours, what would I get? 951 01:20:45,225 --> 01:20:50,017 Fantozzi, every party is promising better economic times 952 01:20:50,100 --> 01:20:53,933 that were never seen and that will never be seen! 953 01:20:54,517 --> 01:20:57,433 - Never. - We could never fail you 954 01:20:57,517 --> 01:21:03,558 because this time we guarantee a steady worsening every five years. 955 01:21:03,642 --> 01:21:06,058 Excuse me, Eminence... Sire, 956 01:21:06,142 --> 01:21:09,058 the other time you promised and didn't... 957 01:21:09,142 --> 01:21:12,558 Come on, you know. I never keep my promises. 958 01:21:13,767 --> 01:21:16,725 - True, but I always believe them. - Good. 959 01:21:16,808 --> 01:21:19,017 I'll listen to the radio. 960 01:21:19,642 --> 01:21:22,975 - Comrade Fantozzi! - It's him! 961 01:21:23,058 --> 01:21:27,892 The demoplutocratic powers with their unfair sanctions 962 01:21:28,558 --> 01:21:34,517 are trying to stop the new coming of the Roman Empire. 963 01:21:34,600 --> 01:21:37,517 - Vote for me, Fantozzi. - Comrade Fantozzi! 964 01:21:38,017 --> 01:21:40,475 - Vote for me, Fantozzi. - Vote Falcao. 965 01:21:40,558 --> 01:21:42,808 - Sickle and hammer! - Vote for me! 966 01:21:42,892 --> 01:21:44,975 - Vote for us! - PSD! 967 01:21:45,058 --> 01:21:46,142 PCI! 968 01:21:50,933 --> 01:21:54,808 Slowly, between so many contradictions, 969 01:21:54,892 --> 01:21:58,850 and different voices, Fantozzi developed 970 01:21:58,933 --> 01:22:03,142 his personal political choice. 971 01:22:04,642 --> 01:22:06,933 - Good morning. - Good morning. 972 01:22:07,017 --> 01:22:09,517 Here is the voter certificate. 973 01:22:09,600 --> 01:22:12,892 - Excuse me. Give it to me. - Here it is. 974 01:22:13,517 --> 01:22:15,433 ID. Here. 975 01:22:16,267 --> 01:22:18,267 - Fantozzi. - Fantocci. 976 01:22:20,808 --> 01:22:23,642 - Booth one. - Booth number one. 977 01:22:24,267 --> 01:22:26,267 - Booth two. - Thank you. 978 01:22:27,142 --> 01:22:29,267 - Booth three. - Thank you. 979 01:22:29,350 --> 01:22:31,933 Go vote, I'm going to number one. 980 01:22:33,892 --> 01:22:34,933 Number one. 981 01:22:42,392 --> 01:22:43,517 Thank you. 982 01:22:45,892 --> 01:22:46,933 Here. 983 01:22:47,892 --> 01:22:50,058 - Thank you. - Thank you. 984 01:22:50,808 --> 01:22:51,808 You can go. 985 01:22:53,017 --> 01:22:54,475 Fantocci voted. 986 01:23:00,433 --> 01:23:01,433 But... 987 01:23:13,683 --> 01:23:15,225 - May I? - Please. 988 01:23:19,767 --> 01:23:21,142 Occupied. 989 01:23:25,267 --> 01:23:28,558 - What are you doing? - I'm voting! 990 01:23:28,642 --> 01:23:29,892 Good. 991 01:23:35,642 --> 01:23:39,725 Finally, in the warmth of a new summer 992 01:23:39,808 --> 01:23:45,392 also for Fantozzi arrived a day of peace and tranquility. 993 01:23:49,267 --> 01:23:52,225 A series of fires are destroying Italy. 994 01:23:52,308 --> 01:23:56,058 The fire and parks department with their special helicopters 995 01:23:56,142 --> 01:23:59,017 are dumping tons of water on the fire. 996 01:23:59,558 --> 01:24:00,975 It's not so warm. 997 01:24:02,433 --> 01:24:05,392 - What are you doing? - A sweater. See? 998 01:24:06,058 --> 01:24:08,183 For the... For it. 999 01:24:09,433 --> 01:24:12,183 - These are for its tentacles. - You like it? 1000 01:24:13,017 --> 01:24:17,142 Hey, Pina, I'm going for a swim. 1001 01:24:17,683 --> 01:24:21,267 - Maybe I'll catch some fish. - Be careful. 1002 01:24:21,933 --> 01:24:23,392 Be careful. 1003 01:24:25,517 --> 01:24:30,267 Did you see how it's playing with its tentacles? I mean... arms. 1004 01:24:32,392 --> 01:24:34,767 - What's it doing? - Digging a hole. 1005 01:24:35,683 --> 01:24:38,933 Be careful not to break some... 1006 01:24:41,433 --> 01:24:44,892 Now be good, listen to Mom, be good. 1007 01:24:51,100 --> 01:24:52,642 Enough! 1008 01:24:53,642 --> 01:24:54,767 Enough! 1009 01:24:57,183 --> 01:24:58,183 Enough! 1010 01:24:59,683 --> 01:25:01,683 I'm going out! 1011 01:25:30,558 --> 01:25:34,267 Ugo! Ugo, where are you going? 74473

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