Original subtitles

Really? Ray decked him?

One punch.

- I held the baby. - Aw.

Does it bother you that you're perpetuating a stereotype?

What?

You're like the little runty plantation owner,

and Ray's like your Mandingo warrior.

- That's... n-no. - Yeah.

In modern terms, you're that guy owns the Cowboys.

Jerry Jones?

Yeah, him.

And all those pasty old white dudes.

Sandra, could you please tell your mother

to, uh, stop talking?

I watch the NFL draft.

Tell me that's not like an auction block

in Natchez, Mississippi.

- I said "please." - Well, are there any Black owners

- in the NFL? - No.

And, uh, they're working on it.

And just for the record, Ray is a full partner in my business.

"In my business." Listen to yourself.

Who's taking me to school?

I'll take you.

Really? Thanks.

- Go start the car. - Cool.

- Leave it in park. - Is that a good idea?

Relax. When I was his age, I was stealing cars.

I would've guessed horses.

Here, your Sacramento Kings covered.

- I like the Sixers tonight. - They're minus four.

- What's the money line? - I don't know, let's call it 120?

Then that's the bet.

- Okay. - Need to write that down?

I got it.

This is our life now?

What? She's wonderful.

Anthony loves her, she helps me around here.

Uh, well, the day comes I got to break her leg, it's on you.

You don't break legs. You hold the baby.

- Ahoy. - Hey, Walt.

Welcome aboard the good ship Carmelita.

- It's beautiful. - Yeah. Fun story,

Carmelita was the mistress of the client

that gave me this boat in trade.

What's the fun part?

Uh, his wife found out about her,

beat him to death with a three wood.

I would've used a four iron,

but that's golf.

Martini?

Thank you. I like the hat.

Oh, it's not just sartorial.

Got to protect the dome from the dreaded melanoma.

Well, you pull it off.

Yeah, I do.

Come. Sit.

Enchant me.

- Appreciate you taking the time. - Oh, no, no.

When a member of the mighty Colavito crime family calls,

I answer.

So, hit me.

The shark tank is open.

Are you familiar with magic mushrooms?

I have been known to shave a truffle on my cacio e pepe,

but I'm guessing that's not where you're going.

No, Walt, I'm talking about a very specific mushroom

that can cause a transcendent spiritual experience

if administered properly, which I am trained to do

as a board-certified psychedelic counselor.

Oh, that's a crock of shit, and I'm in.

Hey.

Where's Lorraine?

- What was that? - Hang on.

I'm gonna AirDrop my dentist's name and number to you.

Why?

So you have access to my dental records.

- What's going on, Hector? - Okay, here it is.

In my zest to earn back what I lost you guys,

I took on a soccer enthusiast who is not a good person,

who lives in moral twilight.

- A drug dealer? - Drugs seem to be his bread and butter,

but I'm sure he's diversified.

Gun-smuggling, people-smuggling, smuggling-smuggling.

Jesus. Well, which way is the action?

He owes us. Big.

- How big? - 78 grande.

That's a lot of cheese to leave in the sandwich.

You just got to go do a pickup.

Yeah.

- Good luck. - Go get him.

Wait.

Would you guys consider coming with me?

- Oh, hell no. - No.

Please? I can't do this alone.

Where?

Down near the stadium.

SoFi?

Dodger.

So, are we talking retail storefronts?

Brick-and-mortar? Or do we deliver?

You know, like DoorDash therapy.

I would go with we deliver.

Familiar surroundings are comforting

for the psychedelic traveler.

"Psychedelic traveler."

That's nice.

Yeah, that'll get the kids in the van.

All right.

Well, give me the shrooms and the phony-baloney therapy

and show me what I'm selling.

- Right now? - Right now.

Oh, and feel free to molest me while I'm out.

We still in America?

Are we still on Earth?

We'd have a lot more credibility in your Cadillac.

We've been through this.

The Lac don't go east of Bronson.

Keep driving, bitch.

Some kind of checkpoint.

- Hola. - Where you going?

Uh, we're going to, uh, 441 Maceo Avenue.

- Why? - We have business with El Condor.

Señor El Condor.

- What kind of business? - Uh, well...

- Jump in anytime, guys. - Oh, no, no, no, you're doing good.

He owes us money.

- He owes you? - We're bookmakers.

We book bets on a variety of sporting events.

Football, basketball, in this case, soccer.

It's a lot of fun, you know?

Provided you bet responsibly.

End of the street, man, on the right.

Gracias.

All right, so far, so good.

So far, so good? Are you high?

A little bit, yeah.

God, tastes like dog come.

I think.

Okay, so before we start, we should discuss

your intentions for your psychedelic journey.

- My intentions? - Yeah, like what you hope to gain from this experience.

Oh, you mean like some kind of a deep insight

into what makes Walt Dinty tick.

Uh, okay, um...

All right, my-my intention is to figure out why

for my entire life

I've had such animosity toward my mother.

Good. Thank you.

Yeah, I haven't spoken to the woman in over ten years.

That's a long time.

Yeah, I've been to shrinks, psychics, a witch in Topanga.

- No answers. - Let's see if we can't find one tonight.

Well, I'm dubious.

Oh, it smells like a cat's ass.

You think?

Actually, that one I know.

You see Training Day?

Good movie.

Didn't end well.

No.

Lead on, Denzel.

What's up, homie?

Hey, fellas, how you doing?

- Sorry. - Beg your pardon.

Just, uh, here.

I'll move.

Got my attention.

- Have to pat you down. - Knock yourself out.

Flight 27 to Guadalajara is now boarding at Gate Nine.

- What are you doing? - Trying to lighten the mood.

I get it, I hate me, too.

What's up, fool?

I got a pair of those.

Sorry.

Comprendo.

- El Condor? - Yes, please.

Young man?

-¿Qué? -¿Dónde es la baña?

You're kidding me.

This is not a choice. I have a cranky prostate.

I begged you to pee before we got in the car.

I didn't have to go then.

Be right out.

Fuck!

Ocupado.

She's not gonna hurt you. Go.

Fuck.

Okay. Okay.

Come on.

Where are you?

Come on.

Come out.

So, what grade you in?

Read the room, Hector.

Fuck! Shit!

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Time to go.

Walt?

Where are you?

I'm gestating.

Sorry, say again?

I'm gestating, I'm in my mother's womb.

Okay... Tell me about it.

It's warm, it's very salty.

- I'm floating. - Can you hear anything?

Yeah.

What?

Carson, he's doing Carnac.

Oh, Ed loves it.

Well, is there any fear of your mother at this moment?

No, I love my mommy.

Good, stay with the love.

Mommy, Mommy...

Mommy...

Wait.

- What's happening? - There's a guest.

- Rickles? - No.

No, my mom has a guest.

What? What?

Ow-- What are you doing?

Is somebody hitting her?

No, somebody's fucking her.

I'm getting dicked right in the eyeball.

Hey-- Ow! Ow!

Goddamn it! Hey!

I'm in here!

Ray?

Hector?

Little gangster?

Hello...

You lost?

Is it that obvious?

- This way. - Right behind you.

Oh, now what?

Hey. Hit that shit.

Uh, what is it?

That's what we're here to find out.

Oh, no.

No, I'm not here to get high.

I'm a bookie.

I-I'm here to collect on a soccer bet.

And if you guys want any action,

I-I'll be happy to waive the fee.

All right, hey, hang on.

- Fentanyl? - No.

No fentanyl. Meth.

Well, let's see. Snort.

Oh, come on! I...

Oh, wow.

Fentanyl?

Hail Mary, full of grace, good Lord be with thee.

Right to my brain!

Walt, can you hear me?

What's happening? Are you still getting fucked?

No, they're done. He came.

Did your mother come, too?

I don't know. Who cares?

God, they were so young.

What does that tell you?

They didn't mean any harm.

They were just being teenagers.

She probably didn't even know she was pregnant.

Perhaps this is an opportunity for you to see

that your anger toward your mother is misplaced.

- And forgiveness... - Hang on.

- What? - I'm not alone.

- What do you mean? - There's another fetus in here.

What?

I have a twin brother.

Oh, that's wonderful. Tell me more.

Uh... nah.

No, I can't.

- Why not? - I just can't.

But, Walt, you have to tell me.

I'm eating him, okay?!

I'm eating my twin brother!

Eating him?

Not with a knife and fork.

You know, I'm robbing him of all his essential nutrients.

Oh, Walt, no.

I'm not even born, and I'm a murderer.

I can't find my guys!

No.

Walt?

Walt, talk to me.

It's time.

What do you mean, time? What time?

The contractions are coming 30 seconds apart.

Birth? You're being born?

Wait.

Wait. Oh, I'm aimed the wrong way.

I'm breech.

I'm breech!

W-Wait... wait...

Okay.

Okay. Aah!

Oh. Oh, damn it.

Another contraction.

Another one.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. All right.

- Okay. - Okay. Oh, yeah. I can see something now.

- Oh, good. - What is that?

It's a... Oh, it's labia.

I see labia.

- Go to the labia, Walt. - Yeah.

- Go to the labia. - Okay.

Oh, go... to the labia.

I'm out.

I'm out. I can't breathe.

Okay, all right.

Come on. Come on.

We're gonna make a fortune.

Listen to me.

You don't have to live like this.

You could choose another path.

You could get an education,

get a good job, start a business,

hell, start a family.

Maybe with this lovely woman right here.

All it takes is making a decision, which you could do,

and you could make it at any time. Think!

And take action. Think!

And take action.

You're welcome.

Rayfield, where you at?

El Condor's office.

Cool, cool, cool.

- Where might that be? - Up the stairs,

down the hall on the left.

Shit! Be there in a jiff.

You okay?

Walking on sunshine. Yourself?

- I've been better. - Sit tight.

That's my partner.

Go on.

You say I bet Colo-Colo,

but I say I did not make such a bet.

So... who are we to believe, huh?

What you say or what I say?

Play it.

Hold it up a little bit, please.

Uh, to the right just a little bit.

No, a little bit more, please. Yeah.

You have AppleCare.

Are people being shot?

No. Come on in.

It's quite the sausage party.

El Condor, Danny. Danny, El Condor.

Pleasure to make your acquaintance.

- Did you get the money? - No.

Will he give you the money?

We think not.

Okay... Mr. Condor,

on behalf of Colavito Sports Inc.,

I regret to inform you

that we will no longer be accepting your wagers.

Have a nice day.

Vámonos.

Espérate. What do you mean

you will no longer be accepting my wagers?

If you don't pay when you lose, we got to cut you loose.

Find another pendejo to take your action.

Hey, you want me to get the snake?

Please. I pissed on your snake.

You peed on Esmerelda?

And she liked it.

We won!

Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa.

- Hello. - Hi. - Hi.

What the hell are you guys doing here?

- Dying. - The hell are you doing here?

I'm on Condor's baseball team.

- You beat Snapchat? - 12 to three.

Orale.

And they only got to three 'cause we let Chuey pitch.

Yeah, fucking Chuey. You know, if he wasn't my nephew...

- You know this guy? - He's my second cousin.

You're kidding me.

My last name's Estevez. Do the math.

So, what-what is all this about?

- Well, your cousin... - Eh, second.

- By marriage. - ...owes us a lot of money.

- Is that true?

Yeah.

Dude, we talked about this.

I ju... I just don't like to lose.

Well, that's why you're the jefe.

I am the jefe. I'm the jefe.

You're goddamn right you are.

And what's the jefe move right here?

There you go.

Don't you feel better?

Family, right?

So, you take my wagers now?

Uh, sure.

Did I just save your lives?

- Probably. - Yeah.

So maybe you could find your way to...

Yeah, you're square.

Thank you.

- Shall we? - Yeah.

Hang on, hang on. I want to say hi to the bird.

Hello, bird.

How you feeling? You still wired?

I feel better.

I may not shit for a week, but...

I suggest a McFlurry and the Greek salad.

Kaboom.

So, walk me through this.

You're in some kind of softball league?

- Baseball. - Baseball. Sorry.

Look, I don't drink, I don't drug, I don't fuck.

This is the last hard thing in my life.

- Got it. - So you got a league

where one team is sponsored by a drug dealer

and one team is sponsored by Snapchat?

Also, the Bloods got a team, the Crips got a team.

Uh, Goop's got a team.

- Goop? - They suck,

but they bring healthy snacks and moisturizers, and...

...everybody loves 'em.

I've used the moisturizer. Shit fucking works.

You know, you guys should consider sponsoring a team.

Might be good for your business.

You do understand we like to stay under the radar?

Yeah, a team jersey that says Bookies

is probably not gonna accomplish that.

The name of the Crips team... is Crips.

Yeah, yeah, we'll think about it.

- Hey, Steve, Andy. - Charlie.

- Good to see you. - Good to see you.

They got a team?

No. No, they raided my house a few years ago

and, you know, stayed in touch.

Mommy.

I love you so much.