All language subtitles for Batman.S03E15.1080p.BluRay.x264-DEiMOS.eng

NARRATOR".
A typically beautiful day in Gotham City.

But the return of a dastardly duo
and their deadly dragoons. ..

...bodes darkening clouds.

- Let me help you cross, ma'am.
-Why thank you, sonny.

- Look out, ma'am!
-Oh! Oh!

I can't believe my eyes, sonny.

That looks like a band of Cossacks.

Yes, ma'am, it does.

Olga, Olga, wait for me.

Wait for me, Olga.

I do believe that's Egghead,
the notorious arch-criminal.

But why is he riding that burro?

What are those Cossacks doing
in Gotham City?

NARRATOR". Good questions, indeed.
And the ominous answers are not far away.

At the Gotham City Museum...

- Wait a minute, what's going on here?
-Oh, is nothing going on, my little piroshki.

Nothing to worry your head about.

Come back here, you.

You can't do this.

Is there...

...Silver Scimitar of Taras Bulbul.

Never to be pulled out except by rightful heir
to throne of Bessarovian Cossacks.

By me, Queen Olga...

...legitimate ruler of Bessarovian Cossacks.

You'll never get away with this,
you scoundrel!

Shh. This is a museum. Quiet, please.

Olga?

Olga, you could at least give me a horse.
I can't keep up with you.

I'm eggs-hausted.

Only Bessarovian Cossacks are riding horses,
darling. All others are having burros.

All right, all right.
As long as you remember our bargain.

I am remembering, darling.

Silver Scimitar for me...

...golden egg for you.
-Heh, heh.

Imperial queen is ready.

Is done.

I, Olga, am possessor
of Silver Scimitar of Taras Bulbul.

And I, Egghead, am possessor
of the solid gold egg. Unh!

Now let's get out of here fast
before the Gotham City cops arrive.

Oh, do not worry about cops, darling.

My Cossacks are making cops-burgers
from them if they buttinsky.

Fine, fine, but let's get out of here anyway.

The Egg of Ogg and the Bulbul Scimitar?

We'll get on it at once.

The Bulbul Scimitar? The Egg of Ogg?

That's right, Chief O'Hara. A frightening theft
from the Gotham City Museum.

But what makes it even more frightening
is who perpetrated it.

From all descriptions...

...apparently Olga, Egghead,
and that band of Bessarovian Cossacks.

Begorra. I thought Egghead
was behind bars...

...and the Bessarovians had been
sent back to Bessarovia.

Bessarovia didn't want the Bessarovians.

And Egghead's out on a legal technicality.

There's only one person who can help us.

Batman.

Oh, but I can hardly bring myself
to call him again.

- Want me to call him?
-No, no, no. Wait, wait.

Give me a moment
to summon my strength and courage.

For if ever strength and courage were needed
in Gotham City, Chief O'Hara...

...it's needed now.

Gosh, Bruce, that Genghis Khan
was quite a guy.

In the 13th century, he and his Mongol armies
almost conquered Europe.

Yes, Dick, the Mongols are fierce warriors.

Even today you can find pockets of them
scattered throughout Asia.

- I'll get it, sir.
- Thank you.

One moment, commissioner.

Excuse me, sir, but Commissioner Gordon
wishes to speak to you...

...about certain pockets of criminal activity
in Gotham City.

Thank you, Alfred. Yes, commissioner?

The Bulbul Scimitar and the Egg of Ogg?

I see.

We'll be right down.

To the Batpoles.

There's no doubt it was Egghead,
Olga, and the Cossacks?

- None.
-Galloping through the streets they were too.

My department's had a dozen calls reporting
a band of horsemen on the loose again.

- Holy Tartars.
-Unholy Tartars, Robin.

Stealing scimitars and golden eggs
from a museum is one thing...

...but when the average citizen on the street is
in peril, something must be done and quickly.

Like rounding the interlopers up
and shipping them out.

Ha, ha. That's just it. Nobody wants them.

Still, they have no diplomatic immunity...

...from the laws of this city,
this state and this country.

Gosh, no, and Egghead doesn't either.

He's a very stupid man,
compounding all his felonies.

Women like Olga have been the downfall
of far wiser men than Egghead, commissioner.

No, the invasion was just the beginning...

...of the new nefarious plan
of pilfer and plunder...

...involving, no doubt,
more egg targets of some kind.

We'll make a list of every egg target left
in Gotham City, Batman.

NARRATOR". But while the dynamic duo
are organizing their defense...

ALL".
Hey, hey, hey!

Oh, must they make so much noise, Olga?
I can't hear myself think.

It is victory celebration, Eggski.

Cossack without victory dance
is like egg without salt.

Well, that hits me where I live. Heh, heh.

Well, let them dance.

There'll be bigger victories than this,
and soon eggs-quisite victories. Heh, heh.

- You have plans, Eggski?
-Big plans, Olga, big plans.

The Scimitar of Taras Bulbul,
the golden Egg of Ogg...

...are only the beginning
of a series of dastardly plans...

...that will leave Gotham City
begging for mercy.

Mercy! Ha!

- My Cossacks are not giving mercy.
-No, of course not. Mm.

You lovely, evil woman, not a drop of mercy.
Heh,heh,heh.

You are heartless, hairless man.

I'm liking you more and more.

Oh, and I you, Olga. I, you.

Our meeting was destiny.

- And after we're married, Olga, we--
-Ah.

Hold horses, Eggski.

I told you before,
no marriage without dowry.

But why do you think I'm planning
all of these crimes for us, Olga?

No, the loot will be your dowry...

...and then we can be properly married.

I must have big dowry.

- Dowry fit for queen, imperatritsa.
-And you will, Olga.

You will, yes.

Yes, the series of crimes that I am planning
will net you the largest dowry in history.

What is next crime?

We're heisting a certain vault
full of dehydrated roe.

Row? As in boat?

No, no. Roe as in fish egg.
And fish egg as in caviar.

And caviar as in a certain special
cold-storage vault...

...at the Gotham City bank.

Yes, a shipment of 500 pounds.

It was a gift from the czar of Samarqand
to the people of Gotham City.

And it's worth $200 an ounce.

You won't have lunch with me, Daddy?

I only wish I could, darling, but Gotham City
is in too much danger right now...

...for the police commissioner
to take a leisurely lunch...

...much as I'd like to.
-Danger?

Incredible as it sounds,
there is a band of Bessarovian Cossacks...

...loose in Gotham City.
-You mean again?

They're back? That's incredible.

But true, sad to say.

If the dynamic duo weren't helping us,
I don't know what I'd do.

This is just between you and me, of course.

Now, I don't want it to spread,
or there might be panic in the streets.

Don't worry. I only wish
there was something I could do to help.

There is something you can do.
You can help...

...by going straight home
and staying out of trouble.

Okay. I'll go straight home.

But this is no time for me to stay out of trouble
or off the streets. Right, Charlie?

However, I will change clothes
before I go out again.

Come on, keep me company.

But you mustn't tell anyone
what you see in here.

NARRATOR". As Barbara Gordon makes
her astonishing change into Batgirl...

...and heads out on her own
to prevent panic in the streets...

...the Caped Crusaders are not idle.

"The Lo Hung Company,
makers of egg drop soup...

Canes Candy Company,
manufacturers of chocolate Easter eggs."

Well, that's the last of them, Robin.

We've alerted every company
in Gotham City...

...that's even remotely connected with eggs.

You think Olga and Egghead might be
planning some crime not connected with eggs?

I doubt it, Robin. Like all criminals, Egghead
follows a particular predictable pattern.

But although we know the pattern,
we don't know the particular crime.

We also don't know what part
Olga and her Cossacks will play.

Quite true, Robin.

And I've been racking my brains trying to--

Wait a minute.

What country is located next to Bessarovia?

- Samarqand, I think.
-Correct.

And both countries lie quite close
to the Black Sea.

What do you know about the Black Sea?

Well, it's famous for its sturgeon,
its caviar-- Caviar!

Right. Caviar, fish eggs.

And the king of Samarqand
recently sent a gift of 500 pounds...

...of dehydrated royal caviar to Gotham City.

What's Gotham City gonna do
with 500 pounds of dehydrated caviar?

No one could decide. So it's being stored...

...in a specially-cooled vault
at the Gotham National Bank.

- And it's worth $200 an ounce. So...
-So?

Let's go.

Now that we've moved most of our cash
to our upstate branch...

...I feel much better.

With Egghead in town, no bank is safe.

What's that?

The Cossacks!

Do not draw revolver, little shmyerdski...

...or I am having Ossip bash you to beatniks.

Ossip, remove revolver
from little shmyerdski.

You are head man here?

Yes, and you might as well turn right around
and go back where you came from.

There's no money in that vault.

But we will make look-see anyway, no?

Ha. Go ahead.
We shipped all of our money upstate.

Ha, ha.

Perhaps we're not coming for money.

Ha, ha, ha. There's nothing else in there.

Ha,ha,ha,ha.

Perhaps you are forgetting the caviar?

Good heavens, the caviar!

Old Cossack saying:
Do not make "ha" before eggs are safe. Hm?

Inside. Snatch the caviar
and make fast goodbye.

Whoa!

Egghead!

Who did you expect, Batman?
Where are Olga and her Cossacks? Eggs-plain.

Oh, you're late.

They've already left with my caviar.

Why won't that woman slow down?
I'll never catch up with her.

Shoot him! He's in league
with that Cossack gang.

Oh, no, no. Don't shoot, please.

NARRATOR". At least Batgirl's found
a one-man panic in the streets.

Oh, protect me, Batgirl.
That monster is going to shoot me.

Not so brave
when your henchmen aren't around, are you?

Oh, I never claimed to be brave, Batgirl.

No, I'm clever and crafty,
but I'm a complete coward.

You won't let him shoot me?

That depends. Where are the Cossacks
you've been running around with?

Oh, they're gone, Batgirl.
They left before I came.

- Left for where, Egghead?
-I don't know.

No?

Well, they did mention
their destination, but you see...

...they speak Bessarovian
and I don't speak the language.

Perhaps there are some other languages
you do know, Egghead.

The language spoken by that guard's gun.

Oh, no. Oh, please, you can't ask me
to rat on my friends.

Oh, yes, I can.
And you'd better start ratting fast.

Do you expect me,
a respected arch-criminal...

...to fink on my friends
like a common stool pigeon?

Of course.

- All right, I'll do it.
-Let's go.

Oh, but it make take us some time.
You see, my burro is kind of slow.

Forget your burro. Get on the back
of my Batgirl cycle and show me your hideout.

On that thing?
But I might be eggs-tinguished.

All right, then stay here.

But I won't be responsible
for any stray bullets...

...that just might happen your way.

No, wait for me.

Two blocks down and to the left.

Oh, Batman, thank heaven you're here.

The royal caviar has been stolen...

...by that mad Bessarovian queen
and her henchmen.

I was afraid we might be too late.
Where's Egghead?

He arrived just after they left.
We were about to shoot-- I mean, arrest him...

...when Batgirl drove up and convinced him
to take her to his hideaway.

- The Cossacks.
-Exactly, Robin.

Batgirl is a match
for any gang of ordinary hoodlums...

...but for a wild band
of Bessarovian Cossacks...

...even her extraordinary abilities
might not be enough.

Let's go. We have to find
that hideout before she does.

They went down that street
and to the left, Batman.

Thank you, sir.

Oh. Oh.

Well, this is it, Batgirl.

We're going in there, Egghead,
and no funny business.

Oh, you can trust me, Batgirl.

I'd sooner trust a snake
with fangs at both ends.

- Mush now.
-Yes.

Here we are, Batgirl.
The hideout is through that door.

Good. Then open the door and announce me,
Egghead. And no tricks.

Tricks?

Oh, Batgirl, how could you suspect me
of trying to trick you?

Hm.

I love caviar.

No testing.

Olga, Olga, my dear.

We have a visitor. Batgirl.

Ah.

Very funny.

What is this joking, Eggski?

Olga, my little bride-to-be,
she was here not two seconds ago.

I brought her here
so that we could ambush her.

The ambush is
on the other foot now, Egghead.

You tricked me.

And now, my little pipkin...

...you will do for us saber dance...

...with frosted swords.

Dance it, yeah!

She's good dancer, Eggski.

Yes, she's dancing to her grave.
Ha, ha, ha.

Naturally.

There it is, Batman.

Yes, Robin. It's fortunate that the turbo engine
on her cycle uses a radioactive spark plug...

...so that we were able to trace it here
with our Bat-geiger Counter.

We move carefully, Robin...

...so that we'll be able
to take them by surprise.

Now it's your turn to face the music, Olga.

Very sad we meet at funeral.

Your funeral, Batman.

I believe you overestimate
your undertaking abilities, Egghead.

My Cossacks, hack them to shashliks.

Give them one for me, Batman.

Eggski, up from there.

Oh, but I might be hurt, Olga.

- You come with me, my little mousenik.
-Ah!

- Grab her.
-Yes.

Ah! Unh!

We are drowning her in caviar.

- Drowning her in caviar.
-Bye, Batgirl.

Come on, go!

Help, Batman!

I'm drowning! Unh!

I'm also freezing!

Batgirl's being frozen in that caviar.

There she is.

Batgirl, I'll untie you.

Thank you, Batman.

They almost turned me
into a human hors d'oeuvre.

What a chilling way to die.

Holy cold creeps. Leave it to crooks like them
to think of a trick like this.

Yes, that's to be expected, Robin.

The concept of decency
is alien to the criminal mind.

And thanks to me, they've escaped.

Perhaps crime-fighting is better left
to the men, Batgirl.

Perhaps not.

But this isn't exactly women's work.

- But I'm no ordinary woman, Batman.
-Agreed.

At least we've recovered
the dehydrated royal caviar.

It's lucky you had me surround
that building once more, Batman.

Olga and Egghead ran
right into the paddy wagon again.

Only this time, they didn't want to.
Heh, heh.

- Forewarned is forearmed, Chief O'Hara.
- That's true, Batman.

I'm sure they won't find caviar
on the menu at Gotham State Prison.

Probably not,
but they will get a well-balanced diet...

...thanks to Warden Crichton's emphasis
on proper nutrition.

What is it, Barbara?

I just saw the strangest-looking car outside.

It was sort of greenish-gold...

...and had what looked like whiskers
on its front fenders.

A car with whiskers?

Sounds like Catwoman's Kitty Car
to me, Batman.

Catwoman was driving it.

And if I'm not mistaken, that arch-criminal
the Joker was a passenger.

- Holy here we go again, Batman.
-I'm afraid you're right, old churn.

If Catwoman and Joker have joined forces...

...it sounds like there's trouble
right here in Gotham City.

NARRATOR".
And how right he is.

Trouble in a green fright wig.

Trouble in a car with whiskers.

More trouble than the Caped Crusaders
have ever known.

Coming up on our next episode.