All language subtitles for Batman.S03E14.1080p.BluRay.x264-DEiMOS.eng

NARRATOR".
Noon in Gotham City.

While millions of workers hurry
to their midday meal...

...at a posh private luncheon, the city's
10 best-dressed women are being named...

...by the town's top couturier,
Rudi Gernreich.

And finally,
number 10 is Mrs. Blanche Turer...

...who popularized the mini-muumuu
for evening wear.

As an extra added fillip, ladies,
I have created a new designation.

For the best-dressed crime-fightress
in Gotham City...

...the first annual Batty
is hereby presented to Batgirl.

To accept the award for Batgirl
are Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara.

On behalf of Batgirl, Mayor Linseed,
Chief O'Hara...

...the entire Gotham City Police Force
and myself, thank you, Mr. Gernreich.

This award just goes to prove
that there is room for style...

...even in crime-fighting.

- Ridiculous.
- It's Catwoman.

I said, ridiculous. Nonsense. Foolish prattle.

How can Batgirl be the best anything
when Catwoman is around?

No best-dressed list is complete
without the addition of the queen of criminals...

...the Princess of Plunder, yours untruly.

Right, Manx and Angora?

Right.

In any comparison
between Batgirl and myself...

...she runs a poor third.

Just a minute, Catwoman.

You can't come here
and disrupt a luncheon like this.

Or my awards.

Ah, but I can, gentlemen.

And I have.

You ladies with your fancy hairdos,
what do you know about beauty?

After you suffer the effects
of my hair-raising bomb...

...you will never be able
to raise your heads in public again.

Then we'll see who's the fairest of them all.

No, not our hair. Anything but that.

I read your mind, commissioner.

- To the Batphone.
-Right.

NARRATOR".
In a fashionable midtown men's shop...

...Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson
scan the new styles.

Gosh, Bruce, my first tux shirt
for the first school prom.

- I don't know how to tie a bow tie.
-I wouldn't be too concerned about that.

Alfred and I will give you the benefit
of our vast years of experience.

How do you like this one here? it's--

Commissioner Gordon's trying
to get to us on the Batphone.

- We'd better get home.
-No, there's no time for that.

We'll change into our spare Batoutfits
in the limousine...

...and leg it to police headquarters.
-Leg it? How about a taxi?

Arriving at Commissioner Gordon's office
in a taxi might be deemed a trifle ostentatious.

But that's three miles from here.

A sound mind in a sound body.

Thank you, citizen.

Batrun.

Ruined their hair forever?

Catwoman really knows
a woman's weak spot.

Her last words were something about
her intending...

...to become the best-dressed woman
in Gotham City.

A noble ambition.

The problem is, how do we catch her
before she creates further havoc?

Just as you'd set a thief to catch a thief...

...you might be able to capture Catwoman
by using Batgirl as the bait.

Never. Oh, I'm sorry to be so abrupt,
Miss Gordon.

But I wouldn't dream
of endangering that fair lady's head.

No, you'd better leave the crime-fighting
to the men.

Commissioner, Chief O'Hara,
we'll let you know if we get any clues.

Let's go, Robin.

NARRATOR". And in an abandoned loft
in the heart of Gotham City's garment center...

Catwoman is fashioning
her criminal conspiracy...

...while her admiring henchmen,
Angora and Manx, look on.

I'm pleased to say
everything is going exactly as scheduled.

Batgirl is the perfect mouse for my Cat-trap.

- Well, you have to catch her first.
-Oh, we'll catch her, all right.

And as soon as the Troublesome Trio
is eliminated...

...we can steal the Golden Fleece.

The Golden what?

The Golden Fleece.

It is the single most valuable
piece of clothing in creation.

A million dollars' worth
of 24-karat gold cloth.

All woven into one gorgeous garment,
belonging to Queen Bess of Belgravia.

I managed to purloin this picture of it today
at the couturier's luncheon...

...heh, heh, when no one was looking.

I glow at the thought of that garment.

Well, how much can we get for it
on the open market?

There is no open market for it.

Then what good is it?

We sell it back to Queen Bess.

It's a national Belgravian treasure.

Her country will pay anything for it.

She's due to arrive here today...

...for a series of private audiences
in Gotham City.

If she returns to Belgravia without it,
her people will be up in arms.

In other words...

...we are in the catbird seat.

Manx...

...take a telegram.

"The annual fashion show,
also run by Rudi Gernreich...

...in the showroom
of Fashionation Magazine.

And I'm gonna get away with it."
Signed, "Catwoman."

That's the message, Batman.

What an enormous ego she has,
telling us her plan.

What do we do, Batman?

Let us handle it, commissioner.

And if you should hear from Batgirl, don't--

Repeat, don't tell her
about this turn of events here.

Your daughter, Barbara, may have been correct
when she said this might be a trap for Batgirl.

Right. I won't tell Batgirl a thing.

Won't tell Batgirl what, Daddy?

Hmm, well...

...I guess I can tell you.
After all, you're not Batgirl.

NARRATOR". Having learned of Catwoman's
plan from Commissioner Gordon...

...Barbara Gordon dons her guise as Batgirl...

...best-dressed crime-fightress in America.

While Batgirl hurries
to her fateful appointment...

...Batman approaches from another direction.

In the showroom
of Fashionation Magazine...

...Rudi Gernreich again regales the assemblage
with his droll comments.

For the rest of this year at least,
the fashionable woman...

...will be wearing less than ever before.

There is a continuing trend towards
mini-dresses...

...mini-gloves and even mini-shoes.

Mini-haha.

If you'll all remain calm, no one will get hurt.

Just why are you doing this?

These are all one-of-a-kind clothes, Rudi.

I intend to add them to my wardrobe.

Let no one say that Catwoman
is not the best-dressed woman in the world.

There are no fashion shows
where you're going.

And how could a feline feloness like you
also be a fashion model?

Ah, ah.

Credit where credit is due, Robin.
She may be evil...

...but she is attractive. You'll know more
about that in a couple of years.

Now, are you coming quietly, Catwoman,
or must we use force?

Your silver-tongued oratorio
has convinced me, Batman.

I hereby remit myself
to your muscular custody.

Don't try to pull the wool over our eye slits.

Tsk. Now, would I do a thing like that?

You cats slip back to the hideout.

There's only one ingredient missing
in this stew: Batgirl.

Look again, Catwoman.

How did you find out about this?

I specifically asked Commissioner Gordon
not to involve you.

We can fight our own battles.

Catwoman's going into
the models' dressing room.

- Aah!
- Shh!

Clam up.

If the Dynamic Drips react
the way I expect them to react...

...they will not step into this most hallowed
and forbidden no-man's land.

But Batgirl will.

What are we going to do?

We can't step into that hallowed and forbidden
no-man's land without closing our eyes.

And if we close our eyes,
we can't see anything.

Uh, a sound observation, Robin.

You can't go in there, but I can.

And with my eyes wide-open.

Come out, come out, wherever you are,
Catwoman.

Right here.

She's been in there over a minute.

- I hope nothing's gone wrong.
-We can't wait any longer.

Cover your eyes.

Now, let's go in.

Close the door, Robin. There are other eyes.

Batgirl, are you in here?

- Catwoman kidnapped her, Batman.
-Holy Robert Louis Stevenson.

- Which direction did they go?
-Out through the side door.

- Thank you.
-Oh, no, no. To your left.

Oh.

Excuse me.

Careful, Robin.

I think it's a lady.

Take my cape.

- Ooh.
-Ah.

May I suggest you take your hands
away from your eyes?

You're liable to maim yourself.
We're fully clothed.

What now, Batman?

- She's probably got a big head start on us.
-Yes.

I'm certain it's all part of a plan
to kidnap Batgirl.

But Why?

Do you think she'll kill Batgirl?

Or worse, Robin.

Or worse.

We can't miss, boys.

This is the most catacaustic plan
in my catalog of crime.

It looks all right in theory...

...but how are you gonna keep Batman
and Robin from sticking their masks in it?

Hmm. Simplicity itself.

Look. Here we are on Pussyfoot Road...

...and here is the Belgravian embassy...

...where Batman has been invited
by Queen Bess...

...for a private audience at 3:00.

So we steal the Golden Fleece there...

...at the precise moment
the Turgid Twosome arrive here...

...to rescue their precious ally Batgirl.

Oh, you mean
they can't be in two places at once.

No, Angora, they can't.

And no hero worth his salt
would let a lady expire.

It's foolproof, I tell you.

Perfectly foolproof.

And you, Catwoman, are an even bigger fool
than I thought you were.

We who enforce the law
would gladly lay down our lives for it.

Batman won't be here.

He'll be at the Belgravian embassy
thwarting your nefarious scheme.

Angora gag her.

Crime-fightresses should be seen
and not heard.

There.

That's all we'll hear of her nonsense.

Manx, set up the pattern cutter.

You'd better pray that Batman is a "man" man
more than he is a policeman.

Angora, get her ready for the grand opening.

Yes, my dear.
You will make a perfect pinafore.

The type of garment
no one will recognize you in or as. Heh, heh.

If you should pardon a final cutting remark.

Ah.

So far, all of her crimes seem to have followed
a preordained scheme.

Have you figured it out, Robin?

Well, first she attacked those ladies
at that luncheon with a hair-raising bomb.

And then she stole
all those one-of-a-kind clothes.

It would appear she's on an apparel binge
of some kind.

No doubt.
Now, what could she do for a topper?

Something connected with clothing
that might cap her crimes to date.

Holy priceless collection
of Etruscan snoods.

- Right, Batman?
-Wrong.

There isn't much call for Etruscan snoods
these days, Robin.

Besides, Catwoman's mind
is more commercial.

Speaking of minds, sir, if I may be so bold...

Uh, be bold, Alfred.

It would appear that your mind
is not really on the subject you're pursuing.

Very observant, Alfred.

My mind's on Batgirl.

Wherever she is,
whatever dire danger she faces.

And we have an audience
with Queen Bess of Belgravia at exactly 3:00.

Yes, another mental aggravation facing us.

But can't you postpone it, sir?

No, diplomatic protocol forbids it, Alfred.

She specifically requested meeting us...

...to discuss the rise
in Belgravian misdemeanors.

Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara
are waiting now to accompany us to--

And to get back to Catwoman.

What is it, Batman?

Queen Bess of Belgravia has a Golden Fleece
she wears for special occasions.

No doubt she's brought it with her
to Gotham City.

It's spun from pure gold,
and it's worth a fortune, Robin.

But what would Catwoman want with that?

It's too hot to handle
for any self-respecting fence.

But if it were to be stolen from Queen Bess...

...Belgravia would be up a creek
without a fleece.

They might even declare war on our country.

No doubt Queen Bess would mortgage herself
to the hilt to get it back.

Nobody wants war.

Gee, Batman, Belgravia's such a small country.
We'd beat them in a few hours.

Yes, and then we'd have to support them
for years.

Come on, Robin. Her Majesty awaits.

And just perhaps we'll get some clue
as to Batgirl's whereabouts.

It's 20 minutes of 3, Batgirl.

The next sound you hear will be
an automatic pattern cutter with teeth of steel.

It will take just 20 minutes
to do the work cut out for it.

To cut you into a perfect pinafore.

And that's why I think Catwoman will be
at the Belgravian embassy, commissioner.

- A brilliant deduction, Batman.
-I couldn't have done better meself. Heh.

It's 20 minutes to 3.

Time, to coin a phrase, is a-wasting.

- Yes, Bonnie.
- Hello, baby.

This is Catwoman purring
in your shell-like ear.

You-- You--

You have some nerve calling me here,
Catwoman.

Just doing my duty as a citizen,
commissioner.

Helping to save a life.

To whom are you referring?

None other than Batgirl,
the distaff crime-fighter.

- Batgirl?
-May I have that, commissioner?

This is Batman, Catwoman.

Oh. Heh.

Speak of the angel.

Just what are you doing,
and to whom are you doing it?

You'd better get to 32 Pussyfoot Road,
Batman...

...where a steel pattern cutter
is just going to work on Batgirl.

Great Scott.

Be here at 3:00 on the button
if you don't want to find Batgirl beside herself.

Holy dilemma.

If we go to rescue Batgirl,
Catwoman escapes with the Golden Fleece.

And if we go after Catwoman, Batgirl dies.

What--? What are you gonna do?

You go to the Belgravian embassy
and look for trouble.

Yes, Catwoman may be there.

You go quickly and we'll join you there.

But be wary.
You must be on time for the audience...

...or you're liable to incur Queen Bess'
renowned and redoubtable royal wrath.

Heaven forbid. Come on, chief.

I had to get rid of them, Robin,
so that we could use the phone.

32 Pussyfoot Road is not far
from Wayne Manor.

Just pray that Alfred is near the Batphone.

- This is one of your sticky wickets, Alfred.
-indeed, sir.

If she recognizes you as Bruce Wayne's butler,
she's liable to analyze the connection...

...and learn Robin's and my
secret true identities.

But we have to take the chance.
Otherwise Batgirl dies.

What do you suggest, sir?

A disguise. Something as alien as possible
to your normal self.

But speed is of the essence.

NARRATOR". And what of Queen Bess
of Belgravia and the glittering Golden Fleece?

Is it 3:00 yet?

Almost, Your Royal Goodness.

-It's two minutes of.
-Oh.

Well, then we must prepare
to meet our guests.

- Who are you?
-Catwoman.

Is she on my list for today's audience?

No, Your Royal Goodness.

Call my social secretary for an appointment.

Sorry, queenie, but I'm antisocial.

Oh! Thank you, whoever you are.

Think nothing of it, sweetheart.

As a matter of fact, it was selfish of me.

- Selfish?
-Yes. I'm the janitor here.

If that machine had sliced you to bits,
I'd have to clean up the mess.

- You look very familiar to me.
-Me?

Oh, no. No, I'm the oldest living hippie
in this country.

You may have heard about my being the first
Boy Scout dropout at the turn of a century.

Mm. Love.

See you around.

How very nice of you to come.

And tell me...

...where is the much-admired Batman
and his youthful companion?

I'm afraid Batman may be a few minutes late,
Your Highness.

Well, it's too bad.

If they had been here, they might be able
to save your worthless hides.

I beg your pardon?

Saints preserve us, it's Catwoman.

In the adorable fur.

Now that Batman and Robin are not here
to fight your battles for you...

...let me see how really brave
you timorous tabbies are.

Get them.

It seems we arrived at an opportune moment,
Catwoman.

Gosh, yes, Batman. Holy crucial moment.

Most apt, Boy Blunderer.

But the presence of you here indicates
that you have forsaken your partner in crime...

...in order to pursue me.

Batgirl. Hsss!

Not a perfect pinafore, Catwoman.

Get them.

Crime is a bad habit, Catwoman.

Let's go. Warden Crichton awaits.

You know what this is, Batman?

The Royal Order of the Belgravian Garter.

Five decorations. One for each of us.

For finding Her Majesty's Golden Fleece
and returning it to her.

And for finding Her Majesty...

...locked up in a closet
off that throne room, she was.

And it's a lucky thing
that we discovered her too.

There are enough international crises
running around...

...without us starting one with Belgravia.

Yes, Bonnie?

I thought you should turn on your television set.

A roving live-TV unit has picked up
something shocking...

...happening right now in Gotham City.

Thank you, Bonnie.

Holy homecoming, Egghead and Olga.

Queen of the Bessarovian Cossacks.

No doubt back to bother, badger
and bewilder Gotham City once more.

NARRATOR". Egghead, Olga
and her Bessarovian Cossacks are back...

...with another assortment of devilish plots.

All happening here in our next episode.