Original subtitles

Surf's up at Gotham Point, and all the local surfers are shaping up...

...for the forthcoming world surfing championships.

Here's Skip Parker, local surfing idol and the hottest wave jockey around...

...riding out the soup...

...to join his current beach bunny, Barbara Gordon.

You really shot that curl, Skip.

Oh, I was just lucky.

Those combers are really hairy out there.

Whoo.

NARRATOR". But a fast surf isn't the only thing at Gotham Point that's hairy this morning.

Not with this jesting jackstraw, the Joker, on the scene.

- Undine. - While in the Hang Five...

...a surfers' hangout run by one-time surfing great, Hot Dog Harrigan...

- Undine. - Coast is clear, Joker.

Hot Dog's working on a surfboard.

What are you doing to that surfboard, Hot Dog?

Fixing a ding in it. There's a little cavity.

It's like being a fiberglass dentist. First you--

Beautiful. Toss him into a trash can, and make sure the lid is closed tight.

And, Undine, tell that hot young surfer, Skip Parker...

...he has a hot phone call at the Hang Five.

Oh, yeah, you know...

Skip, there's phone for you in the Hang Five.

Your adoring public won't leave you alone.

Thanks.

Who was that?

Some chick who's been hanging around the beach.

I think her name's Undine.

See you later.

Hello? Hello?

Take him out to the Jokermobile.

Yes, we'll run him into the Ten Toes Surfboard Shop...

...and get all his surfing secrets out of him.

Then after I've gotten rid of Batman and Robin for good...

...I will rule the waves.

Me, the Joker, king of the surf and all the surfers.

Then Gotham City.

Later, the world!

Skip Parker? Hijacked? By the Joker?

From my daughter's description, Batman, I suspect that Clown Prince of Crime...

...is up to some brazen new buffoonery.

Don't forget Hot Dog Harrigan.

Hot Dog vanished too?

We'll rendezvous at the Hang Five at once, commissioner.

Robin and I will take the Batcopter to save time.

- Alfred, alert the Batcopter port. -At once, sir.

- To the Batcave. -Cowabunga.

NARRATOR". And so the forces of law and order converge on Gotham Point by air.

If we land on the beach, Batman, we might hurt someone.

And cause undue attention, old chum.

We'll set down in Pelican Cove, just north of Gotham Point...

...and walk down the beach just like ordinary people.

NARRATOR". While forces of law and order converge on Gotham Point by seashore.

Well, these disguises are a good idea, commissioner...

...but this surfboard's getting heavy. -All in the line of duty, Duke.

Duke?

Well, most true surfers are known as Duke, Skip, Rabbit, or Buzzy.

Ha, ha. All right, Buzzy.

You know, I've heard of long-haired musicians, but never green-haired ones.

Just a little bit harder I know I should have tried

Just a little bit harder I know I should have tried

Just a little bit harder I think I'm gonna cry

Just a little bit harder

I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair

Can't find her nowhere

Can't find her nowhere

Maybe they've got some connection with the Joker.

That's a good bet, Duke.

Uh, Buzzy, I think this trash can's trying to tell us something.

Nonsense, Duke.

It's an echo of the surf.

NARRATOR". And shortly in the Hang Five...

Dig the gremmies.

Gremmies?

No compliment.

Beach bums. We should have worn our baggies.

May we join you?

Drop anchor. I'm Buzzy, this is Duke.

Batman and Robin just came in.

- What else is new? - Barbara had to go back to the library.

But she told me to keep an eye on the girl behind the counter.

You mean the one talking to her hot dog?

They are sitting with a couple of antique beachcombers...

...who were asking some questions about Hot Dog Harrigan.

Oh, thanks, Undine. But forget Hot Dog.

The Hooded Hodads are sure to find me, and I'll be ready for them.

Hey, what is this? What are you doing to me?

Oh, a simple experiment, my boy. Through my latest invention...

...the Surfing Experience and Ability Transferometer...

...all your surfing know-how will be drained out of you...

...and transferred to me.

Hook me up, Riptide. Hook me up.

And don't forget to switch on the Vigor Reverser.

So that all his youthful energy will be pumped into my blood and bones.

What's this? From the Batcomputer?

A picture of two naked feet?

Yes, I thought these new illustrated Batslides might prove a bit of a novelty, sir.

Two bare feet.

Holy ten toes.

Ten toes.

A cryptic comment, Robin.

The Ten Toes Surfboard Shop has been closed for some time.

The most appropriate hideout for Joker and a hostage.

Four hostages...

These Batslides are more than a novelty, Alfred.

I've learned more in the past minute from these two naked feet...

...than we learned at Gotham Point in one hour.

Although we left Buzzy and Duke out there to follow up.

- Buzzy and Duke, sir? -Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara.

Everything you ever knew or heard about surfing down cold.

Plus your strength, speed and stamina...

...all transferred to me. Ha-ha-ha!

You know what this means, boys?

The Surfing Championship of Gotham Point in the palm of my pig board.

Oh, the prizes, the honor.

The envy, respect and adulation of all the local surfers.

Where I go, they will follow.

What I want, they will provide.

And what I want is Gotham City to plunder and to pillage.

And that is what they will provide.

Sounds good, Joker, but what will we do with this wiped out kid?

Toss him in the bin of that work bench and file him away.

Funny thing, isn't it?

That I know more than you've forgotten. Ha-ha-ha!

Put him in there, boys. Put him in there.

Joker, Joker. Do you remember those two antique beachcombers I told you about?

- Yeah. -Well, I think they're fuzz.

And I didn't dare call you again on my hot dog so I came here instead.

And I just saw Batman and Robin...

...parking their Batmobile in an alley behind this joint.

Oh, exquisite. Their tricks for tracking me down have always been clever.

But this time I will outsmart them.

They will no doubt come through that window. Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, you have the poisonous sea urchin spines, boys?

- Right here, boss. - Good.

Grab a handful, both of you.

It won't hurt to needle the Hooded Has-beens a bit.

- Ready? -Never ready.

Holy pin cushions.

Obviously spines from a sea animal of the echinoderm family, Robin.

Quite painful. Potentially lethal.

But the poison can be counteracted...

...if we immediately soak our bodies in hot water and Epsom salts.

Oh! Too bad, Batman.

But we've just ran out of hot water and Epsom salts. Ha-ha-ha.

Then I think we've almost run out of time.

- What deviltry are you up to now, Joker? -Oh, a simple exercise, Batman.

In which the two of you will be processed into pre-shaped blanks...

...then fiberglassed, laminated with coats of resin...

...given a high-gloss polish...

...and finally a paraffin rubdown on your top decks.

Come, Undine. To Gotham Point and the world surfing championships...

...while Riptide and Wipeout do their work.

Holy human surfboards.

NARRATOR". Are Batman and Robin being processed into human surfboards?

They'll look better with a coat of catalyzed resin. Come on, let's get started.

Hey, Batman's foam blank's starting to smoke.

Robin's too.

It's not only starting to smoke...

...it's starting to explode.

- Holy detonation. -Exactly, Robin.

Catalyzed resin is a highly combustible mixture.

All I had to do is activate this portable ultraviolet Bat-Ray from my Utility Belt...

...to set off the explosion that released us from our foam blank coffins.

Let's hit the beach.

- Aren't we going after them? -There's no hurry, Robin.

They probably stashed Skip Parker around here someplace.

Look, the sea urchin spines are gone.

Yes, they were no doubt dissolved in that foam...

...along with their lethal poison. -And look again.

Sandy footprints leading to that work bench.

Yes, let's follow them.

- Skip Parker? -Yeah.

I'm Batman, this is Robin. Are you all right?

A little weak. Some joker drained everything I know about surfing...

...and all my ability out of me.

With a gizmo called a Surfing Experience and Ability Transferometer.

Plus a Vigor Reverser.

The inhuman leech. Let's take him out to Gotham Point and refill him.

Gotham Point? Yeah, that's where he bagged me.

But I'd like to find Barbara Gordon first.

You go ahead.

Robin, hop a cab or take the subway to stately Wayne Manor.

Take Dick Grayson's car and head for the beach.

Batman, in his showdown with Joker, will need the help...

...of Bruce Wayne's youthful ward.

Plus his surfboard.

NARRATOR". And so the showdown approaches...

...as Batman and Dick Grayson rendezvous at Gotham Point.

Leave your board outside the Hang Five and follow me.

But play it cool.

Ah, yes, the surf at Barracuda Bay has killed many a braver man than I.

Why, even the ripples peak at 50 feet.

I remember once when I was shooting the curl...

...just as this hot comber was breaking, I cut into the tunnel...

...grabbed the rail and rode into a sideslip.

Ha-ha-ha! Aah!

Who let him out?

Batman. That's what I've been trying to tell you.

- Batman? - That's right, Joker.

I'm challenging you to the surfing title of the Gotham Point World Championships.

It's too late, Batman. The entries are closed.

- Correction, sir. -Correction?

You dare correct me? You immature mollusk.

I'm millionaire Bruce Wayne's youthful ward, Dick Grayson.

Mr. Wayne's president of the Gotham Point Surfing Association...

...and in this case I can speak for him.

So many of the competitors have dropped out, in awe of your highly touted talents.

There'd be no surfing contest without Batman.

Good, let's not have one. Just declare me the winner.

Sorry, Joker, it isn't that simple.

I'm entering Batman in the surfing championships.

Shall we go into the men's locker room and put on our baggies?

Excuse me, citizens.

What do you suppose is up, Buzzy?

The surf, Duke.

There'll only be one heat for the two contestants.

And you'll be judged by the size of your wave, how long you ride it...

...and your style and sportsmanship.

- Sportsmanship? -And our fellow surfers will be the judges.

Go for you surfboard.

Mine's outside.

But you have nothing to worry about, Joker.

Who's worried? Not me.

I've ridden the killers at Barracuda Bay.

No, Joker.

I've ridden them.

Oh!

Skip, I've been looking all over for you. Let's go watch the action.

Well, into the soup?

Why not? It's a shore-break surf.

Not too long a paddle to the peak.

Here comes the wave of the day. They ought to be able to take off on it.

They have.

Something sure seems to be pounding in that trash can, Buzzy.

Joker's good. What a kick-turn.

But watch Batman trimming.

Joker's shuffling, Now he's cutting back to meet the curl.

He caught it. He's riding the hook.

Batman can't beat Joker.

But watch him cross the swash.

Look, there. A shark!

What's that in his hand?

The shark's gone.

And Joker's starting an island pull-out.

Joker's ride's almost over. He's winning.

Batman's doing a nose pull-out.

I just hope it isn't too late.

That shark might have wiped him out on points. I'll check with the judges.

Cowabunga! Cowabunga! Ha-ha-ha!

I won! Ha-ha-ha! I won!

Yes, Batman came in second!

The order of finishing isn't what counts, Joker.

Why not? Why not?

Losers don't come in first.

I've tallied all the judges' points. You got one.

For being the more colorful surfer.

Batman got all the rest...

...including 50 for avoiding a dangerous hazard. A shark.

Oh! Big deal.

A simple deal. Thanks to the shark repellant Batspray in my Utility Belt.

Well, what about my tricks and my technique?

You mean tricks and my technique.

All transferred to you by that nutty Surfing Experience and Ability Transferometer.

Say, something is pounding in this trashcan.

Hot Dog Harrigan?

It was just a little joke.

- Some joke. Kidnapping me. -And dumping me in a trash can.

Let's get out of here! Quick!

- We can't let them get away. - I'll head them off...

...before they reach the Jokermobile. See if you can find Robin, the Boy Wonder.

Ah! The Hang Five. We'll lock them out.

Come here, boys!

- You're wiped out, Joker. -Yeah.

You've hung your last ten toes and Batman's the new king of the surf at Gotham Point.

He's all yours, gentlemen.

Gentlemen? These two hodads?

Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara to you, Joker.

Cowabunga. Begorra.

Oh, no. Batgirl's not gone again?

I just passed her in the ladies' locker room.

- Are you all right, Skip? -I will be...

...as soon as they hook me and the Joker up to that Reverserometer and reverse it.

- Cowabunga. -Begorra.

All's well that ends well.

Skip Parker's as good as new.

And that Transferometer gizmo only succeeded in transferring Joker back behind bars again.

So I think these two crime-fighters better call it a day.

Let's call it a week, Batman.

- And really get some sleep. -Agreed, old chum.

So if you have no further use for us, commissioner...

Not at the moment, thank heavens.

Now run along. Get a well needed and much deserved rest.

NARRATOR". But just how much rest do the Dynamic Duo have coming?

For what startling new crime wave has already begun...

...across the sea from Gotham City?

Who are these two new conspirators?

Batman and Robin haven't the foggiest notion...

...but they'll travel 3000 miles to tangle...

...with these treacherous twigs of aristocracy...

...and wind up on the maddest manhunt of all time...

...in that great metropolis of the old world, Londinium.

Don't become fogbound. Watch the next episode.

Cheerio.