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Gravity Falls S01E14 Bottomless Pit
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In this land of ours, there are many great pits,
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but none more bottomless than the bottomless pit,
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Which as you can see here, is bottomless.
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Question. Is it bottomless?
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Kids, could one of you try explaining this to Soos?
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Grunkle Stan, why are we here again?
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To dispose of things that we don't want.
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So long, mystery shack suggestion cards.
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Goodbye, creepy love letters from Lil' Gideon.
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Die! Die!
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What are you doing?
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Throwing stuff, dude. Everyone's doing it!
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What you got there, Mabel?
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It's just my personal box of mysterious secrets.
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Nothing worth wondering about!
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Goodbye forever!
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Grunkle Stan, do I really have to be the one to point out
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that a bottomless pit is, by definition, impossible?
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Says you!
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Well, I guess we'll never know.
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Aah! It's some sort of invisible pushing force!
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Quick! Everyone back to the shack!
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I'm not done getting rid of these yet!
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Grunkle Stan! No!
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Almost... almost... almost...
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So, anyone wanna scream some more?
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Where are we?
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We're somewhere where it looks like we're nowhere.
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We're gonna land on something eventually.
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Could be any second now!
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Well, it looks like we're down here for the long haul.
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Who wants to see some card tricks?
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Ta-da!
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Hey! Maybe we should pass the time by tellin' stories.
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I've got a story! It's called: "The time Grunkle Stan
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got us all thrown into a bottomless pit.
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Where we spent the rest of our natural lives!"
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Go on.
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Come on, Dipper, you can do better than that.
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Fine. I'll tell you a story,
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A story I'd like to call:
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Voice over.
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Ready?
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Spin the pig! Whoo!
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Hey, Grunkle Stan, ever kissed a pig before?
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I'm not gonna answer that question.
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Guys! Guys! I think I just got bit by a snake!
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I need you to get me to a hospital quick!
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What? What's so funny?
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Uh, sorry, it's just hard to focus on what you're saying
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with that squeaky puberty voice you got there.
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My what?
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It's nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper.
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Your voice is hilarious.
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Are you saying my voice cracks?
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My voice doesn't crack.
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Dude, no offense, but it cracks so much
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we've already made a techno remix out of it.
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Nice to meet you.
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My name's Dipper Pines.
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P-p-pines, Pines, Pines.
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Nice to meet you.
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P-p-pines, Pines, Pines.
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Do I really sound like that?
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Oh! Here comes my favorite part!
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Stop it, guys!
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Gimme that!
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Spin the pig!
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Ugh! Even my sighs sound weird.
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- Hello there!
- Aah!
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I couldn't help but overhear yer sitchy-ation!
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Old man McGucket!
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Part-time inventor!
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Why did you spit on your hand?
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I don't rightly know!
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Hey, I remember you!
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Your robot almost killed me!
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Come here! Follow me into this dark, dangerous alley!
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Lately I been a-tinkerizin' with a voice altering tonic,
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on account of my horrifyin' voice!
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You can run, but I'll still be in yer nightmares!
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This will really fix my voice?
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Thanks! Ah!
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Come mornin', you'll sound like a new man!
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If you survive.
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Good morning, Dipper.
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I did it! I did it!
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Now I have a new voice!
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'morning, Mabel. Who's my favorite Mabel?
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Who are you?
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What have you done with my brother?
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Dipper!
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I'll save you from this body-switching warlock!
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Mabel, it's me!
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This is my voice now.
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I sound awesome.
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Sound awesome.
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I knew boys' voices changed, but this is weird.
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Weird and bad.
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Mabel, this is the best thing that ever happened to me.
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And just think of the prank calls.
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Hello?
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Hello. This is the president of the United States of America.
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I'm calling to tell you...
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What? Who is this?
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Ho-ho-ho! Magnificent!
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Mabel no like.
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How you diddly doing, Soos?
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- Kill it!
- Oh!
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Kill it with fire! Everyone flee!
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What gives, man?
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You guys all made fun of my old voice.
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I thought you'd like the new one.
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Dude, at least before you sounded like a real person.
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Now you sound like some kind of weird commercial dude.
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I'll find Stan.
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He'll like my new voice. You'll see!
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I'll be right back after these messages.
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I, uh, I mean, goodbye.
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Grunkle Stan. Grunkle Stan! Where are you, Grunkle Stan?
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Huh? I'd know that voice anywhere!
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You're the guy who prank called me earlier!
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No. No, I'm not.
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I'm just a 12-year-old boy!
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You expect me to believe that, you crazy-voiced punk?
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W-wait! No! Aiyee!
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There's a prank caller on the loose! Let's get him!
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Yeah! Come on! Come on, let's get him!
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Escape!
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McGucket! Your invention was a catastrophe!
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That's probably why I live in the dump!
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My own sister didn't recognize me.
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I scared away crowds!
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I even sound ridiculous when I cry.
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Well, now, here's yer problem!
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I gave you the wrong drinky-majig!
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This one's for voiceover professional.
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Ah! I'm sure I've got a better voice in here somewhere.
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Good! Hurry up.
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You got here just in time.
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Come sundown, you'd have
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reverted back to your ridiculous old voice.
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It was ridiculous, wasn't it?
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D-d-d-d-dipper Pines,
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That's me!
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This remix is dedicated to my brother.
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Dipper, your voice is one of a kind.
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Dude, I never heard anything like it.
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R-r-remix over!
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You ready for yer new voice?
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This one should be permanent!
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Hey, guys.
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- Dipper!
- Oh, dude, you're back!
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Yeah. I guess I realized
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that even though my voice might not be perfect,
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It's still mine, and I wouldn't change it for anything,
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Not even for whatever was in this new vial.
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So what did you do with the rest of that potion?
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I dumped it in Stan's coffee.
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Any of you kids seen my girdle?
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Where my girdle at?
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What? What's so funny? I'm Grunkle Stan!
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Kids laughin'. Laughin' at their grunkle.
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I spy, with my little eye, something that is Black!
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Ooh! Ooh! Everything.
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Yay for Soos!
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Yay for Soos!
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Hey, guys, who wants to pass the time by spinning?
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Everyone spin!
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No.
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Dipper's pain is funny, but I'm starting to get bored.
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Soos, tell a story.
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Really? Okay.
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This story is called "Soos's really great pinball story."
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Is that a good title? Do they have to be,
like, puns or whatever?
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Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
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This is it, dudes. After four long years of trying,
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I might finally get the high score
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on Stan's creepy old pinball machine.
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If I do this, I'll go down
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in pinball history with the likes of Sal, Gaff,
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and of course Poo.
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Have you ever tried maybe just tilting the machine?
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I don't know, dudes.
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Isn't breaking the rules, like, against the rules?
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Nuts to the rules! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!
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Failure. You stink!
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All right, that's it. Ready, kids?
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Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!
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Quit tiltin', pardner. Quit tiltin', pardner.
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Tilt!
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Bull's eye!
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New high score!
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- Oh, yes!
- All right!
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This is the best moment of my life.
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This totally beats my old best moment.
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That ain't right. You cheated.
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Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it?
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You're just a pinball game, pinball game.
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Taunt, taunt.
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Uh, guys? There's an awful
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lot of green lightning coming out of that game.
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No, that's the normal amount of green lightning.
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Ugh. Five more minutes.
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Aah! That's not a normal alarm clock.
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Soos! We're inside the game!
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- Crazy.
- Sweet moses!
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Hushed exclamation of wonder.
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Awesome!
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Boing! Boing! Boing!
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Dude, if this is a dream, I never wanna wake up!
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That can be arranged.
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Welcome to tumbleweed terror, pardners!
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Hey, it's the skeleton cowboy guy.
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Did you zap me into your game to congratulate me
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On getting the high score? I beat poo, dude.
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Hardly. If'n I do recall, I warned y'all not to cheat.
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I tried to be gentleman-like,
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but I'm plum sick of being tilted.
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So now I reckon. I'm gonna tilt you.
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Oh, yeah? Well-- well, take this!
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Ow! And this! Ow! It hurts!
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I wish this was working better! Oh, dude!
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Soos!
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Get yourselves ready for the...
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Multi-ball!
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Over there!
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Where are you?
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I'm not done teachin' you a lesson about cheating yet!
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How are we ever gonna get out of here? Think, guys!
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I'm trying, but it's hard
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with that gorgeous pinball wench distracting me.
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Okay, don't worry, guys.
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I know every inch of this machine.
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There's a manual power switch inside.
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I can sneak in there and turn off the game,
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but we'll have to distract the cowboy guy.
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Are either of you good at jumping up and down
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and making annoying noises?
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My time has come.
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All right, let's go, Soos. Soos?
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So are you, like, doing anything later or--
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Right.
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Come on out and show yourselves, varmints!
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Listen to me and look at what I'm doing!
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Somethin' ain't right here.
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Distraction! Distraction!
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Let me see where this is goin'.
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Yippe-ti-yi-- what? Where are ya?
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Durn it, I wish I had a neck!
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Soos! Psst! What's going on?
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Just press the switch already!
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Okay, so I was gonna do that, but I've been thinking.
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According to this,
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turning off the power erases the high score permanently.
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That score is, like, my one big life accomplishment.
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What? If you don't hurry up we could die in here!
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Fair point. But, what is life anyway,
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When compared to the immortality of a high score?
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Soos! Are you out of your--
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There y'all are.
263
00:13:22,650 --> 00:13:24,990
Get ready to meet yer maker, kids!
264
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:28,200
My maker is ballway games in Redmond, Washington.
265
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:34,920
Mabel!
266
00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:41,510
- SOOS!
- SOOS, PLEASE!
267
00:13:41,610 --> 00:13:43,340
Turn it off!
268
00:13:46,030 --> 00:13:47,320
Goodbye, high score!
269
00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:04,410
Oh, you dudes okay?
270
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,960
Yeah, Soos. You did it! You freed us!
271
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:09,670
Hey, man, I'm sorry you had to lose your high score.
272
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,300
That's okay. I got a new life accomplishment now:
273
00:14:12,630 --> 00:14:13,540
saving you dudes.
274
00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:17,320
You think that pinball wench will call me?
275
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,890
I can't believe this nonsense!
276
00:14:21,990 --> 00:14:24,370
Magic tonics? Soos winning at something?
277
00:14:24,470 --> 00:14:25,980
what do you come up these stuff?
278
00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:27,920
I'll tell you a good story.
279
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:31,580
It's called "Grunkle Stan wins the football bowl."
280
00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:38,480
Mr. Pines.
281
00:14:38,580 --> 00:14:40,900
I thought old folks were useless,
282
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,750
But you taught me and my gloating friends a lesson.
283
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,930
Here's your football winning trophy, Mr. Pines!
284
00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:50,240
Thanks, beautiful woman, but I couldn't have done it
285
00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:52,970
without my sidekick, foot-bot.
286
00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:55,800
Thank you for building me, daddy.
287
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:00,060
I love you, Stan.
288
00:15:00,410 --> 00:15:01,560
Come on.
289
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,040
What? That story was great.
290
00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:07,220
I even threw in a talking robot for the kids.
291
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:10,370
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna tell a non-terrible story,
292
00:15:10,470 --> 00:15:12,030
A story called...
293
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,150
Thoothache.
294
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,910
This attraction is gonna make me a fortune!
295
00:15:19,010 --> 00:15:20,610
Easy with that bear, corduroy!
296
00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:22,130
I need him in showroom condition!
297
00:15:24,070 --> 00:15:25,650
No! No!
298
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:27,030
Aw! They're hugging!
299
00:15:27,390 --> 00:15:28,820
So let me get this straight.
300
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:31,810
Your plan is to teach this bear to ride a bicycle?
301
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,650
Nah, come on. Everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear.
302
00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:36,890
No, no. I'm gonna teach this bear...
303
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,570
To drive!
304
00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:43,950
And the yellow light means speed up.
305
00:15:45,730 --> 00:15:46,240
Uh-oh.
306
00:15:48,790 --> 00:15:51,000
What seems to be the problem, officers?
307
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,070
Now there had better be a darn good explanation for this.
308
00:15:56,230 --> 00:15:57,120
Oh, there is.
309
00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,850
You see, I'm a very old man, not long for this earth,
310
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,390
and the doctor's assigned me a seeing-eye bear
311
00:16:03,490 --> 00:16:05,530
To drive me to the hospital in case of emergencies.
312
00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:08,920
Is that right? Then where's your doctor's note?
313
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,950
Why, it's right here, inside my jacket!
314
00:16:12,460 --> 00:16:13,700
Ah! There you go!
315
00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:19,690
Well, I can't argue with dr. Medicine.
316
00:16:19,790 --> 00:16:21,500
To the hospital, honeypants!
317
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:30,040
Grunkle Stan, how could you lie to those policemen?
318
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:32,160
Don't you know lying is always wrong?
319
00:16:32,270 --> 00:16:34,200
Mabel, when you get to be my age,
320
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:35,050
You'll learn that sometimes
321
00:16:35,150 --> 00:16:37,260
You have to bend the truth for the greater good.
322
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,480
Hey, has anyone seen my plate of spaghetti?
323
00:16:40,670 --> 00:16:41,570
No.
324
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,920
But I bet Soos has. You know how he likes to eat.
325
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:48,030
This is a dark day. Thanks, Grunkle Stan!
326
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,180
See? Greater good.
327
00:16:54,490 --> 00:16:57,100
Waddles, what am I gonna do about Grunkle Stan?
328
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:58,990
He needs to stop lying.
329
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,370
I know! But how do we stop him?
330
00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:03,700
Maybe you should check Dipper's journal.
331
00:17:03,810 --> 00:17:04,290
Oink, oink!
332
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:06,140
Say "Oink" One more time.
333
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,310
Oink, oink.
334
00:17:07,410 --> 00:17:09,130
Waddles, you genius!
335
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:14,920
"Buried 'neath a tree stump in
the deep forest are truth teeth,
336
00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:19,970
which force upon the wearer an inability to lie." Hmm.
337
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,220
Aah! What's going on? What? Mabel?
338
00:17:41,330 --> 00:17:42,340
Quick question.
339
00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:44,440
What happened to Dipper's spaghetti plate?
340
00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:46,860
I ate it, because I have little to no concern
341
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,090
for other people's possessions or emotions.
342
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:52,670
Huh. That was strangely candid.
343
00:17:52,770 --> 00:17:56,150
Almost as if I'm unable to lie. Well, goodnight!
344
00:18:00,140 --> 00:18:02,500
You what? That seems like a horrible idea!
345
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:03,790
It's great!
346
00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:05,520
Now he has to tell the truth.
347
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,650
Scrambled meat, here it is.
348
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,110
Stan, what do you do in secret
every day during your lunch break?
349
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,460
Usually I spend the hour aggressively scratching myself
350
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:16,930
in places I shouldn't mention.
351
00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:18,800
Now I'm going to avoid making eye contact
352
00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:20,310
by pretending to read this newspaper,
353
00:18:20,430 --> 00:18:22,950
And go to the bathroom without washing my hands.
354
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,680
Well, that was disturbing.
355
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,010
Don't worry, Dipper.
356
00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:29,070
The truth is always a good thing.
357
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:31,080
Hey, excuse me.
358
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:32,970
Do you think this t-shirt is my size?
359
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,490
Never mind the t-shirt! Hey, everybody!
360
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,470
Look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face!
361
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:41,020
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
362
00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:43,380
Doing my taxes.
363
00:18:44,930 --> 00:18:47,040
Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?
364
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:49,850
Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud.
365
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,880
Might wanna tuck that one away there.
366
00:18:55,390 --> 00:18:56,190
Oh, no!
367
00:18:59,070 --> 00:19:01,460
Sometimes I think, is this all there is?
368
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,710
Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line?
369
00:19:04,820 --> 00:19:06,550
That we're all just biding our time
370
00:19:06,650 --> 00:19:08,560
until the sweet, sweet release of death?
371
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:18,210
Kids!
372
00:19:18,330 --> 00:19:20,670
I think I have a growth forming on my back!
373
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:22,840
Just wanted to be honest with you guys!
374
00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:24,160
I can't take it anymore, Mabel!
375
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:25,990
You have to take those teeth out of his mouth.
376
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:27,760
But then he'd be a liar again!
377
00:19:27,890 --> 00:19:30,310
Could is possibly be any worse than this?
378
00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:33,520
So after further investigation,
379
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,440
Turns out there is no Dr. Medicine in Gravity Falls.
380
00:19:37,590 --> 00:19:40,230
You'd better have a durn good explanation for this.
381
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:41,200
Oh, and I do!
382
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,640
You see, I lied to you.
383
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:45,320
In addition, I've been parking in handicapped spaces,
384
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:46,660
shoplifting fireworks,
385
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,590
And smuggling endangered animals across multiple state lines.
386
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,060
Also, you're fat.
387
00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:54,530
Is all this true?
388
00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:57,400
No, no, it's not true... right, Mabel?
389
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,070
Uh... sirs,
390
00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:02,020
I have to be completely and totally honest with you.
391
00:20:02,140 --> 00:20:03,720
Our great uncle Stan is...
392
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,750
Is... ugh!
393
00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:10,360
Stan is...
394
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:13,110
secretly a crime fiction writer!
395
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:14,090
What?
396
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,420
Yeah! He was just telling you
397
00:20:16,530 --> 00:20:18,930
about a character from his upcoming page-turner
398
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,280
crime grandpa.
399
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,510
He's never committed a crime in his life!
400
00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:25,480
Also, have you lost weight?
401
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,110
Finally, someone noticed.
402
00:20:30,210 --> 00:20:31,230
Wow, an author!
403
00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:32,810
Can you teach me how to read?
404
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,140
What? Author?
405
00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:36,570
Writer-- masters of fiction!
406
00:20:36,710 --> 00:20:37,870
Good night, officers!
407
00:20:39,190 --> 00:20:40,330
Hey, you all right?
408
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:42,190
I can't believe I lied!
409
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:44,490
Mabel, it was for the greater good.
410
00:20:44,670 --> 00:20:46,650
Yeah. The greater good.
411
00:20:47,170 --> 00:20:48,380
Hello, police station?
412
00:20:48,490 --> 00:20:50,870
Yeah, I forgot to tell 'em about my tax fraud.
413
00:20:51,420 --> 00:20:53,390
No, tax fraud.
414
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,010
Get 'em out!
415
00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:56,510
What's gotten into you kids?
416
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,880
We have to find a place to get rid of these!
417
00:21:04,090 --> 00:21:07,420
And I never saw that box full of magical teeth again.
418
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:09,110
Oh, wait, there it is.
419
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,010
Oh, sweet, my shoes.
420
00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:15,230
I liked the part with the bear.
421
00:21:15,350 --> 00:21:16,970
The rest seemed pretty farfetched.
422
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,250
Mabel, we already know that story.
423
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,330
We just lived through it.
424
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,440
So, if we're living through that story right now,
425
00:21:21,610 --> 00:21:22,430
How does it end?
426
00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:24,210
Guys, do you see that?
427
00:21:27,410 --> 00:21:28,950
- Oh, what is that?
- Oh, no!
428
00:21:29,050 --> 00:21:30,790
- Where are we going?
- Oh, my god!
429
00:21:39,110 --> 00:21:40,630
Where... where are we?
430
00:21:41,270 --> 00:21:42,980
Look! The shack!
431
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:44,270
Which means...
432
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:47,310
We came right back out the top
433
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:49,940
And I don't think any time has passed.
434
00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:52,040
It must be some kind of wormhole
435
00:21:52,130 --> 00:21:54,470
Yeah, dude, that sounds science enough to be true.
436
00:21:54,570 --> 00:21:56,150
But, but that's impossible.
437
00:21:56,270 --> 00:21:57,700
No one will believe us.
438
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,710
Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves.
439
00:22:00,980 --> 00:22:02,280
Agree.
440
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:07,780
He'll be fine.
441
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,580
This is stupid.
31488
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