Original subtitles

Previously on Night Court.

I don't know what I've been doing right lately, but in the last three days, I've

been offered a professorship at Columbia, partnership in one of the most

powerful law firms in the country, a seat on the Superior Court, and two

Look, I've got to be frank with you.

I just think that Howard Ritter is the kind of guy that this country needs.

He's smart.

So am I.

He's dedicated.

So am I.

He's my brother -in -law.

And if the lazy bum lands that big job in Washington, he moves out and I

get my den back.

I'm not here to talk about the past, Dan.

I'm here to talk about my daughter.

Well, believe me, my feelings for Pamela are very genuine.

Yes, I'm sure you are deeply in love with her money and all the power and

prestige that go with it.

Dan Fielding, I will not allow you to do to my daughter what you did to me.

Don't make her fall in love with you.

Give her a chance.

There they are!

The people who've been following me!

One of the art people!

They're aliens!

A stunning turnaround is taking place in the 13th congressional district where

Christine Sullivan has pulled virtually even with her opponent, Howard Ritter.

You mean I still have a chance?

And we finally have a winner in the 13th congressional district. The winner is

public defender Christine Sullivan. More election returns after this.

What?

I won?

I hope you're happy.

My life is ruined.

Well, Art, I'm sorry I beat your brother -in -law, but I promise you I'll make a

great congresswoman.

Who cares about Congress? I'll never get that chump out of my den.

Would you two like to register for my free drawing?

You can win a weekend in Cape Canaveral where you glimpse the top secrets of the

U .S. space program.

Great.

I have some serious... questions about zero gravity and personal hygiene.

Well, NASA isn't going to let some raffle winner snoop around their base.

I know that, and you know that, but I'm hoping that they...

don't know that. It's a snare to

catch them and prove that they're aliens.

What are you going to do, beat the truth out of them with their shuffleboard

sticks?

I know, I'm about to trick him into a cat scan.

You wanted me, boss?

Take care of these things pronto.

Um, confirm reservations at Rudy's Stop and Bop Motel.

Oil trapeze.

Rewind and return your cassette of Throbbing Hood.

I got a ten minute window at lunch. Go down to the steno tool. Book me a

Now! Oh, nitwit.

Dan, you're a little tough on Will.

Could the Honorable Lady from New York please shut up?

Sir, I've got a messenger for you. Yeah?

Well,

what's the good word now?

Unbelievable. I've just been offered an endorsement contract with Nike.

Call it, Max.

Piva versus Susan Landon solicitation.

Mr. Prosecutor?

Why, yes. The Central Park Police arrested Miss Landon and the structure

built in a large elm for the purposes of solicitation.

Wow. A treehouse of ill repute. Oh,

shut your squeaky trap.

Must we forever endure your stupid asides?

Lighten up, Counselor.

This is my court, and I will set the tone here.

And at the tone... the time will be recess.

Dan, I know you're ticked off about this Pamela thing, but you have no right to

take it out on everyone else.

How do you know about that?

I heard you talking to her mother.

I know why you broke up. Yeah, so what's it to you?

You've already used up one whole generation of women. Now you're working

second. You just grow up, Dan.

Why don't you just butt the hell out of my life?

Gladly.

And if you win, you could be off to the NASA Space Center.

Hey, Dale, who cares about rocket ships?

Hey, can we win a nice space heater?

Space heater?

Yeah. My feet are always cold. I have very thin blood.

Really?

The atmosphere is different here. Not like it is back home.

I knew it!

You're not from here, are you?

Come on, let's see some ID.

7 ,000 Aurora Borealis Lane, Jupiter.

Jupiter? Florida, Jupiter, Florida. We have a condo down there.

Great view.

Of the stars?

No.

Of the clothing optional beach.

Come on, we've got some great snapshots.

There's one in particular that I want you to see.

You want it in court, Dan?

Great.

Order in the court!

Order in the court!

Ross?

Hi, Dan.

Call it Heidi.

People of the feminine gender versus Daniel R.

Fielding.

charges. Pick a file.

Any file.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This is a joke, right?

That's just what I was going to say about you.

And to quote you, Mr.

Fielding, let the games begin!

Do you want to help me out here, Christine?

Well, I'll do the best I can, Dan, but I'm having trouble finding any favorable

testimony from women.

Oh, please.

Couldn't you have at least been nice to your own mother?

What? She doesn't count.

Look, deep down, I'm a sensitive, romantic guy.

Oh, yeah, Mr.

Romance? How about that take a number dispenser on your bedpost?

Hold on.

That was all in fun.

Fun for whom, Mr.

Fielding? Certainly not for all the women jammed into the gallery or the

waiting in the hallway.

No, because the others lined up around the block.

Boy, I can draw them, can't I?

Yes, you're a human pest strip.

Why don't you just drop all this man -hating stuff? You know, you wouldn't be

half bad if you lost those glasses and your brother's suit.

Hey, Dan made me pay for every meal I ever ate with him. You cheap bum.

But I always gave you dessert, Tam.

card to book two weeks in Acapulco.

I paid you back.

But you took Tammy.

Please proceed, Ms. Maddox. Your Honor, every woman in this room has a complaint

about Mr.

Fielding's insensitive and selfish behavior.

Your Honor, I object. That's purely speculative.

I love it when you're passionate.

Remember me, Dan?

You said I'd win the pageant if I slept with you.

You were Miss Congeniality?

Boy, was she ever.

Dan, you're not helping.

Dan Fielding, you're a big fat liar.

I am not fat.

He never called after our first date. He made me jump out of a cake on my

birthday. He made me jump out of a cake on Washington's birthday.

of the jury.

Well, come on now.

Think about it.

Did I ever really give you any reason to complain?

Wasn't I always Dan the man?

All right, so maybe I didn't pay enough attention sometimes.

Occasionally, I used the wrong choice of words.

Like, for instance, bop, bump, hump, grind, pork, cork, and boink.

And don't forget the phrases.

Shucking the corn.

Kissing the blarney stone.

Doing the mattress mumbo.

Christine, just feel free to jump in here any time now. How about hitting the

grand slam?

Hey, Christine.

Sorry, I'm sorry. It was just so easy.

At every turn, Mr. Fielding has used the very spirit of female trust and

generosity. May I present...

Exhibit A.

His grandmother's wedding ring and alleged family heirloom. Be very careful

that. It is one of a kind.

That belonged to my dear departed granny, the woman who taught me how to

and respect the gentle gender.

Nice try.

How many women here possess the one of a kind family heirloom?

special to me.

Closing arguments, Counselor.

Dan Fielding's day of reckoning has come.

The testimony in this courtroom today has sealed the fate of a man who has

his entire life thinking only of himself at the expense of every woman he has

ever known.

Miss Sullivan?

Your Honor, how can all those accusers be wrong?

Dan Fielding is a pathetic, boorish, womanizing louse of a man. And he is

guilty. And don't sugarcoat it.

He's guilty of one thing.

Of loving women.

Maybe not in the way we'd like to be loved, but he does the best he can.

And beneath that slimy exterior beats the heart of a truly sensitive man.

I've seen Dan with women.

And even if it's only for five minutes, for those five minutes, he's made them

the center of his universe.

Ladies, look into your hearts.

Wasn't that five minutes worth it?

Thank you, Christine.

You've saved me.

Not necessarily.

Dan Fielding, this court finds you guilty on all charges of disrespect,

insensitivity, and overall crappy behavior toward women.

just my tie.

I'm okay. I'm alive.

And I've got the answer.

All right. The moment of truth.

Where will my future be?

Eenie, meenie, miney, moe.

Columbia University.

Unanimous folks.

Hey, good news, Mac.

I made my decision. What is it?

Touring with Miltormia, becoming an exotic dancer.

You know I chafe in hot pants.

I'm going to take the professorship at Columbia University.

Well, good for you, sir.

What made you decide?

Well, it was a tough choice, but it's like you always say, you gotta go with

your first instincts. Right you are. You gotta reach for your dreams. Set your

marks high. Grab the brass ring. Go for the gusto.

Quit law school.

What are you talking about? I haven't even taken the job yet. No, no, me.

I'm quitting law school.

What do you mean?

Well, I've been accepted to film school, Harry.

I want to make movies. I can't deny it.

Well, then you shouldn't.

Hey.

Well, I gotta get back to work.

Mac? Yeah?

You're not gonna forget me when you become a famous director, are you?

Of course I will.

But it won't be anytime soon.

Mac, Mac, Mac.

Bye, Christine.

Bye,

Christine. I'm gonna miss that.

I got some good news. Oh, good. I could use some. It's my last night, you know.

Yeah, you're starting a new job. You must feel great, huh?

I mean, excited and hopeful, exhilarated.

Actually depressed.

What's the matter?

Well, Harry, everywhere I turn is a reminder of what I'm leaving behind.

Such as?

The smell of the hallway floor cleaner.

The dingy green courtroom walls.

Well, let's not forget the musty scent that wafts up from holding on the summer

nights.

How could I?

Christine, I'm confused. I thought you were happy.

Oh, no, I am happy about being elected. It's just that I guess I never realized

how much I'd be giving up.

Hey, I'm sure Congress has dingy walls, too.

No, no, it's not that. It's making a mark.

It's... really making a difference.

You mean keeping those wheels of justice spinning?

Fifty -five dollars and time served.

Oh, Harry, this whole building really means a lot to me.

It's where I've done my best work.

It's where I've found my closest friends.

It's where I've even had my baby.

Yeah.

I always thought we should have retired that elevator car.

Well, if we were to start doing that, every inch of this dumb old building

be a sentimental landmark for me.

Well, I guess I'm just being silly, huh?

Yeah.

Silly.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go.

Watch them scrape the gum off the gallery benches one last time.

Oh, to hell with the gum. I'm going to miss you the most.

$55 in time, sir.

Uh, Your Honor, you know those two people who've been following me?

Yeah, Bull?

Good news.

They're not aliens.

They're retired chestnut benders.

That's good news, Bull.

And they're my friends.

Good Bull.

Last case of the night, sir.

Call it, Mac.

Oh, that's the last time I'll ever hear you say call it, Mac.

People versus Burke and Merrill.

That's the last case I'll ever hear Matt call.

Mr. Prosecutor.

Your Honor, officers arrested Messrs. Burke and Merrill on the fire escape of

their brownstone office where a fight ensued when Mr. Burke tried to push Mr.

Merrill's piano to the street below.

Sir, Burke and Merrill are songwriters with a 40 -year partnership which

apparently they wish to dissolve.

Burke and Merrill?

I know your songs.

Gentlemen, let me shake your hands.

You really know our songs?

Oh, yes, I do.

You know, one of the earliest memories I have of my mom is her singing me one of

your songs.

Let me guess.

Rock -a -bye baby blues?

No, molasses pie and a coffee high.

One of my best lyrics.

One of my best melodies.

One of Burke and Merrill's best songs.

Hey, you've got a good memory, Judge.

Memories are all I have of my mom.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Once in a while we found something that worked, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah.

I guess when it's gone, it's gone, huh? So what do you say, why don't we try a

restraining order? That ought to settle this.

Hey, wait a minute.

Can't a couple of guys have an innocent difference of opinion?

Well, sure you can, as long as that doesn't include attempted murder with a

piano. Hey, we're artists.

We're nuts.

We won't do it again.

Well, how would the counsels feel about moving to dismiss these charges, seeing

as harmony has been restored to this partnership?

So moved.

Ditto.

Case dismissed.

Christine?

Are you ready?

Isn't there anyone left in holding?

It's a wrap.

Court's adjourned.

To Christine Sullivan, colleague and friend.

She belongs to the people now.

But she will always be here in our hearts.

All right.

Thanks,

guys.

I... You have been...

You know... There she is.

The next Speaker of the House.

Hey, doesn't somebody else have a decision to share with his friends?

Harry? You made a choice, Harry.

Where are you going?

The courtroom.

I'm going to stay.

You've got to be kidding.

No.

This is where I belong.

I do make a difference.

Look at Burke and Merrill. They left together tonight because somehow I was

to strike a chord with them.

This is my world.

The way I see it, some of us are...

meant for greatness, and others are meant to hold down the fort.

Plus, you'd miss that musty smell that wafts up from holding on summer nights.

Yeah.

Harry, could I talk to you in the hall a second?

If this is a chain letter, you're fired.

It is my letter of resignation.

What?

I have to follow my heart.

I'm leaving.

I'm on a mission.

I'm chasing the woman of my dreams.

Don't you always?

This is different.

It's been building up for years.

She's the only woman who's ever really understood me.

You have to quit?

Yes, of course. I'm moving.

I'm going to dedicate all my time and energy to winning her heart.

Winning her heart? You mean she doesn't feel the same?

Oh, well, don't be silly. She doesn't even know yet.

Listen, I got to go.

Bye, Harry.

Dan, who's the lucky girl?

Christine.

Good night, sir.

Hey.

You're not going anywhere, are you? Are you kidding?

I just bought five new sets of handcuffs.

Buy you a beer?

Sure.

Hey, Harry, you lucky dog. You won my... drawing.

Hmm.

Hi, Norm. Hi, Angelo.

What's up?

Bull, we've decided to take you to Jupiter.

Florida? No, no, Bull.

Jupiter, the planet.

But you said you weren't aliens.

We lied.

Bull, we need you.

You can help us solve our most pressing problem.

Why, you'd be a hero.

You'd have a real purpose.

You mean, I'd be somebody?

Yes.

You'd be the guy who would reach the stuff on our top shelves.

So, will you come?

Okay.