Original subtitles

Matt? Yeah? What are you doing?

I'm taking a picture.

I know that.

Why?

Oh. Well, you see, my photography teacher says I gotta pick a theme for my

essay final, but I cannot decide on a topic.

How about naked women cavorting in lime jello?

It's not that kind of class, Dan.

Pity.

They want something artsy, something with significance.

But I'm not sure I'm the artsy type.

Hey, Mac, you need any help? I'm somewhat of a shutterbug myself.

I even got my own darkroom.

Jack, you develop film?

No, I just go in there to read.

Hey, Mac, I took a course on photography a couple of years ago.

Maybe I could give you a few tips.

Okay.

Okay. Tip number one, always make sure you have plenty of film.

Good, I see you got that covered.

Rough day?

Well, little Charlie's taken up a new sport.

Food hurling.

Plenty of spoonful of strained beets that hit me in the blouse. I didn't have

time to change.

Ah, you can barely see it. Unless you get really, really close.

I'm in no mood.

Are you ever?

Hey, you try working full time and raising a child. It's no picnic, pal.

I'm sorry.

I was very insensitive.

All rise.

Criminal court part two is now in session.

The Honorable Harold T. Stone presiding.

Good evening, fellow court designs. Let the tribunal begin.

Don't move, sir. Now, don't move now. I've almost got it in focus now.

Mac, what are you doing?

I finally picked my theme for my photography class.

The study of a courtroom.

Ah, and you want the picture of a hardworking, prudent judge.

No, just the gavel.

Unless you want an extreme close -up of this gap.

Put the camera down.

Yes, sir. Call the first case.

All right.

First case, sir. People versus Ian McKee.

Defacing public property.

Prosecutor? Yes, sir. Mr. McKee was arrested in the act of painting replicas

manhole covers on the streets of Lower Manhattan.

What's the matter, Junior? Did you get bored with your etch sketch?

Your Honor, Your Honor.

You see, we were trying to clear an outage at Worcester in spring, you see,

my men couldn't get access to the lines because they were trying to pry open his

stupid paintings.

Those paintings were metaphors. Yeah, one man's metaphor is another man's pain

in the butt.

Ouch. Didn't Socrates say that?

Yeah. Miss Sullivan, can you shine some light on this?

Well, Your Honor, maybe my client did paint the manhole covers as a metaphor

express the New Yorker's common desire to find an escape, whether it be real or

illusionary.

Maybe.

Archmart.

Archmart. Is that an expression or a proper name?

Your Honor, I'm sure my client meant no harm. Although his choice of medium was

questionable, it's really just a matter of personal artistic expression.

Well, it's also a matter of defacing public property. I'm sorry, Mr. McKee,

you're going to have to keep it on canvas. That'll be time served and pay

clerk 50 bucks.

Okay, Mac, let's reload. What's next?

It's on its way, sir.

Miss Sullivan, I'd like to thank you for presenting my case with such

sensitivity.

Oh, well, it's my pleasure.

Usually the most artistic clients I get are hookers with good makeup skills.

Yeah, I met one in booking.

She offered me 25 bucks to restore a tattoo.

Well, I'm sorry I couldn't get the charges dropped, but I guess you have to

suffer a little for your art, huh?

Exactly.

You know...

Not many people understand the desire to fulfill your visions, to share with the

world that piece of yourself that was once only yours.

It's very uplifting.

Sounds like raising a child.

You're a mother?

Yeah, and a target.

Your life must be very full.

Crusader of art and justice, mother, wife?

Oh, no, actually, I'm a single mother, and yes, my life is very full.

Sometimes a little too full.

Miss Sullivan?

Only an artist can blend the color and texture of life to create a thing of

beauty. In your own way, you're an artist.

You're also an inspiration.

Follow your passion.

Follow your passion.

My sentiments exactly.

Excuse me.

Haven't I seen you before?

Have you ever been to Burger Barn?

Yes, that charming little bistro around the corner where you order through a

cow's mouth.

Uh -huh.

And on Tuesday night, I'm the voice of the cow.

Oh, well, we'll have to get together sometime and make butter.

Okay.

Where'd everybody go?

That's a five.

Well, it's really inconvenient.

Look, Tony, I'm really happy that you want to spend tomorrow night with our

And I could really use the help, but asking me to stop by, first clean your

apartment, set up the crib and pre -cook dinner is not my idea of a break.

Whoa, whoa. Hold that pose.

Perfect.

Oh, the way the light hits you. Oh, I can feel it.

Can I get a copy for my mother? She's convinced that I'm not eating well. Oh,

problem. No problem.

Oh.

Oh, look.

Oh, my.

Oh,

Matt. Yeah. You are really into this.

You know, I don't think I've ever been so in tune.

With my artistic muse.

Somebody's been breathing developer fumes.

Christine, you got a visitor.

Looks like Picasso is pitching a double -headed tonight.

What's he doing up this late? I mean, it is a school night.

Ian, what happened?

While I was leaving the building, I spotted the statue of Lady Justice.

Strong, righteous, beautiful.

I thought of you.

Suddenly I wanted to paint her, color her world, give her life.

I felt the same way about my Mrs. Potato Head.

Ian, this is your second offense in 90 minutes.

I can't help it. You inspire me.

Uh, Bull, would you mind if we had a little professional privacy?

Sure, Christine, but be careful.

He's a repeat offender.

He's liable to paint again.

Thank you. I'll watch him.

Ian, I'm really flattered that I inspire you, but couldn't you just...

Doodle on the back of a napkin?

I follow my passion.

Well, it's leading you to jail.

I guess my fate is in the hands of my art and my defender.

Five minutes to session.

See you in court.

So, did Michelangelo ask you to climb a scaffold?

Come on, Roz gets serious.

I am. Christine, I think your radar is rusty.

That kid was giving off more heat waves than a microwave potato.

Oh, okay, maybe he's a little infatuated with the image of a professional.

He's infatuated with the image of you on his futon.

I'm going to hold this over.

Mac, cut that out.

Oh, come on, sir.

I got you doing guilty, not guilty. At least three rolls of $50 in time served,

but I don't have one of you holding over.

What's the difference, man? Fake it.

The camera doesn't lie.

Call the next case.

Oh, sir.

Okay.

Hey, back for his third visit.

People versus McKee.

Again?

Yes, again.

What's the story, Mr.

Prosecutor? Well, sir, this time the artful Dodger here is responsible for a

rather large mural on a warehouse across the street.

Hey, don't let him intimidate you. He doesn't understand artistic sensibility.

Your Honor, I'm sure my client has a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Do you?

Your Honor, ever since I met Miss Sullivan, I've had a sudden explosion of

creativity. I think this may be my best work ever.

I call it the bare body of justice.

Any body we know?

Actually, it bears an uncanny resemblance to Christine.

Mr. McKee, I hate to snip the fuse on your creative explosion, but I don't

to see you in this court again.

That's a $100 fine and time served.

And that's a wrap.

Oh, Bull.

Where exactly is this mural?

There's a great view from the hallway window.

Thanks.

Gangway!

Miss Sullivan, we have to put a stop to Crime Wave Ian. Now, you're his

lawyer. I want you to handle this. Talk to him and impress upon him that

repeated misdemeanors can constitute a felony.

Yeah, I'll talk to him, sir. Good.

Is that all, sir? That's it.

Look at the size of those water towers.

Makes you feel safe if there's ever a fire.

Excuse me.

Oh, we were just admiring the mural.

Some of us more than others.

Gotta admit, that kid's good.

I wonder if he can do that in wallet size.

That's kind of abstract, but I think I can make out the cleft in your chin.

I don't think that's my chin.

Oh, gee.

Well, come on. Let's call it a night, guys. Come on. Come on. Come on. I'll

you a Zagnut. I think I've discovered the source of the Nile.

So, what do you think?

How could you put me on display like that?

You invaded my privacy.

You invaded my soul.

That painting exists because of you.

Well, I wish it existed with a blouse on.

Christine, I'm very attracted to you.

And I think you feel the same about me.

No, no. What I feel is concern for your future. I'm your lawyer.

You're also a woman.

Oh, no, no, no. This is not going to happen.

Why not?

Well, in the first place, I don't do things like that. And secondly, you're

And 10 months.

Well, I'm 24 and 130 months.

So? That doesn't matter.

Christine, you're so in control of your life, of your work, of everything, and I

admire that.

But there comes a time when you have to throw caution to the wind, abandon your

fears, go with the moment before it passes you by.

I want to spend that moment with you.

I'll get my coat.

I just loaded the camera with a fresh roll of film, and I thought I'd do a

of your study. A study of my study. Yeah. That's cute. I thought you would

study of these bail reports. We are getting behind.

Oh, okay. I'll get right on it. Hey, somebody watch that, okay?

Yeah, I got it.

That age -old dilemma.

Art versus commerce.

Hi, Mac.

Hi.

Good evening, everyone.

All right, Miss D.

Well, aren't we the chipper one tonight?

Hey, what happened? Was there a two -for -sale on Huggies?

Is there a law against being in a good mood?

I'd say, why, look, a gift mood swing in the mouth.

I did notice that your young friend is not on the docket tonight.

Oh, yeah, I handled it. Good.

Hey, Christine, how come your car was in the parking lot all night?

You mean all I had to do to get you was get arrested?

Well, you like the bad boy thing, huh? Well, I'm going to go slap a cop.

Miss Sullivan, I will see you in my office.

Oh, you're going to get it now.

But then again, you already did, didn't you?

Gee, I'm sorry I brought it up.

I had no idea overnight parking was such a no -no.

If it made you feel good, then you did the right thing.

Thank you, Roz.

I mean, you're allowed to grab for the gusto just the same as everybody else.

It's nobody's business but your own.

Absolutely right.

Still, if you want to tell me all the juicy details, I'm all ears.

Danny. Oh, Pam, my little deep -fry queen. What a surprise.

Look,

Danny.

I got some bad news.

What?

I just found out I've been transferred.

To another burger barn?

It's a new franchise in Staten Island.

Uh, I ship out at midnight.

I should have known.

Women in uniforms always break men's hearts.

Oh, I'm gonna miss you.

I wish I could give you something to remember me by.

Oh, me too.

Well,

apparently I made a mistake here.

What are you talking about?

I mean, I forced an issue that became a situation and ultimately developed into

a predicament.

I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't bring my secret decoder ring.

Would you clarify that for me?

Christine, when I asked you to handle your client, I didn't mean that you

should... handle your client.

Harry, thank you for worrying about me, but I'll be okay.

I can take responsibility for my own actions, thanks.

I'm concerned as a friend. This seems impetuous.

Oh, how?

Well, you've got to admit you're acting strangely.

Am I really? How am I acting?

Not like yourself.

This isn't the Christine that I know.

Well, I don't know who that Christine is.

I've gone through a lot of changes, Harry, in case you haven't noticed.

I'm not Christine the single girl. I'm not Christine the married woman. I don't

know who I am. Maybe it would be better if you were to support me instead of

judging me. I'm not judging you. It's just... Come on, the guy is 24.

You got Beatle albums that are older than he is.

Harry, last night made me feel young and spontaneous and sexy.

Things I haven't felt since the baby and the breakup.

I deserve those things.

I appreciate your concern.

But it's none of your business.

Oh, yes.

Uh -huh. Yes, give me a minute.

I'm going to spit each of your heart out. Oh, God.

Put your legs behind your neck again.

No, wait. Okay, wait a minute. I set this automatic timer here.

There.

Court in two minutes, Dan.

Right away, Bull.

Well,

pretty good timing. I just ran out of film anyway.

You'll send me copies?

Yeah. I'll probably use this as my Christmas card this year.

Something wrong, Dan? No, nothing, nothing, nothing.

A hundred dollars in time, sir. And that's it, folks.

Cuckoo -ca -choo, Mrs. Robinson.

Thought maybe you'd like to go out dancing. Got my bike out front.

Oh, yeah, with or without the training wheels.

Do you mind?

Ian.

I, uh, I can't go out with you tonight.

No problem.

How about tomorrow? Some friends of mine are doing a performance art thing on

the Lexington Ave subway.

They're dressing up like cattle to symbolize the growth overcrowding in our

city.

Hey, I love subway art as much as the next person. But I can't go out with you

tomorrow night either.

Did I tell you last night was very?

Very. Oh, is that good?

Yes, very.

Oh, then you were very, very, very self.

Ian, last night you made me feel like a new woman.

But today I gotta go back to being an old woman. I'm not old, but...

Older, you know, the more conventional me, the one with responsibilities.

You didn't have a good time?

No, I liked it.

Even when we went to that underground club and we saw that aluminum band.

That's heavy metal.

Right.

So what's the problem?

Ian, last night you convinced me that I should go with the moment, and I did,

and that's exactly what I needed to do. So let's go for the next moment. I don't

think so.

This is about our age difference, isn't it?

No, um, it's more about the difference in the amount of life we've lived.

Christine, age doesn't matter.

What matters is passion.

You have to go with it. You can do that, Ian. I can't. As much as I love letting

go and feeling carefree, I couldn't do that all the time.

That's okay. I like my life.

I just don't think it's right for you.

I guess you're right.

Ian. You're very special.

You gave me back a part of myself I thought I'd lost.

Believe me, nothing's lost.

All your parts are there.

So if I have a show sometime, maybe you'll come see it?

Yeah, I'd like that.

As long as my parts aren't in it.

You've got a little pain on your neck.

I'll get it.

Christine, don't ever lose the passion.

Hey.

I'm sorry about earlier.

I was out of line.

Oh, no, I shouldn't have gotten so defensive.

I just wanted to take care of things myself.

Yeah.

So you okay?

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's over now, but, uh, it was kind of nice being somebody's

inspiration for a while.

You inspire us all the time. We just forget to tell you.

Thank you, Harry.

So did he take it okay? I mean, he didn't cut off his ear or anything, did

No, actually, he handled it very maturely.

How about you?

Me?

Um... Very.

Jack, my picture's come back.

Oh, yeah, they're right here. Hey, I hope you don't mind I took a peek.

I love the satin finish.

Anyway, these are the pictures I took.

A gavel, a stapler, a jewelry box, an eraser.

What happened to my pictures?

You looking for these, Dan?

Oh, Mac,

listen, I can explain these.

Well, maybe not this one.

Oh, listen, Mac, I borrowed the camera for just an itsy -bitsy moment.

I guess I got the rolls of film mixed up.

Boy, is life funny or what?

Dan, that film was my final project for my photography class.

Fine, it's fine. Look, they're here, all nice, developed. There's one of Harry's

nose. It's too late, Dan.

Part of the assignment was to develop the film in class with the teacher

standing there, and this is what he saw.

You gotta admit, nice depth of field.

That's what my teacher said.

He also said it was filled with disturbing, perverse imagery, with

dehumanizing, amoral sensibility.

Mac, I'm sorry. Oh, don't be.

You gave me an A.