Original subtitles

She's not at home. She's not in her office.

You don't suppose that baby's being born a week early.

Hi, guys.

Be ready in a minute.

Hey, Sullivan, where the heck have you been?

We haven't heard from you in over three hours. Yeah, do you have any idea what

can happen in that time?

Well, you could play Neil Diamond's Cracklin' Rosie approximately 67 times.

She could have gone into labor and had the baby.

I don't think the two are mutually exclusive.

I appreciate your concern, but I'm perfectly fine.

Are you sure it's a good idea for you to be here working?

Harry, all I have to do is stand up there and present my client's defense.

Right. In primitive cultures, women would work in the fields all day, and

when the time came, they'd just take a five and squat.

Give me a favor. Don't squat behind my table, okay?

All right, Miss Sullivan. If you're not worried, we're not. We won't offer any

more help unless you ask for it. Thank you, sir.

Let's get that first case fired up, huh, Mac? All right, people, this is it!

Attention!

Clear the aisles and commence Operation Stuart immediately!

Dr. Drager's office?

Yeah. Calling for Christine Sullivan.

She's on her way to the hospital.

a simple, rational play.

Your Honor, while there is no excuse for violence, my client does feel justified

in trashing the drugstore because they sold him a defective tanning lotion.

Well, since you have agreed to pay damages, we'll dismiss the charges. And

that's recess.

Look on the bright side.

You can always get work as a traffic cone.

Buddy?

Is that you?

By golly, a...

Well, I was practicing for my art class.

What do you think?

Nice. Very nice.

Yes.

What is it?

Don't tell me you don't recognize the back of your own head.

Oh, of course.

Wow, that's terrific.

Well, go on. Don't let me keep you from your work.

Yeah, yeah, buddy. I do have some cases I have to review before lunch. Bye -bye.

We'll catch you later.

Okey -doke.

Hi, buddy.

Is it my imagination or is Christine developing a beer gut?

I hope not. She's pregnant.

Really?

How did that happen?

Well, you know how a bee carries pollen on its legs to fertilize a flower?

That's kind of what Christine and her husband Tony did.

That sounds complicated. Why didn't they just have sex?

Well, maybe they did that too.

Then afterwards, Tony flew down to South America.

He doesn't even know Christine's pregnant.

I'm still trying to figure out how he got the pollen to stick to his legs.

Come on, Christine, admit it. I bet you right now you wish you were having this

kid the old -fashioned way.

Out cold in the stirrups.

throughout the whole thing. In fact, I finally picked my birthing music.

It's called Songs of the Humpback Whale.

Wool,

are you all right?

Wool?

Remind me I have to call Mom.

Well, Christine, sounds like you're well prepared. nothing like a little whale

music to take your mind off the fact that you're passing a bowling ball.

Well, then, I don't know what to say besides I am not afraid of a little

Well, whatever you say, Christine.

Ah,

the love theme from Psycho.

No.

It's just all of a sudden my stomach felt like it was being gripped in a

I wouldn't worry, Christine.

The toughest part of having a baby is the waiting.

But sooner or later, the nurse comes out and you light up cigars.

Buddy, could you walk me to the elevator? I think I'm a little further

than I thought.

How can you be so sure?

Christine's having her baby. She had a contraction.

We gotta go right now.

Well, just settle down, Mac. There's nothing to get excited about.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right. We practiced many times. Let's just go get her.

She's waiting in the cafeteria.

The cafeteria?

Talk to strangers in elevators, okay?

Looks like we hit some turbulence.

Turbulence? What are you talking about? She hit the stop button.

Well, I'll just have to pull it out.

I knew I should have mailed in my parking ticket.

But no, Mother insisted that I come down and pay it in person.

God, I hate her sometimes.

Clear the way, folks. Clear the way. This is an emergency.

You'll have to wait. There's some pregnant woman stuck in the elevator.

That means Christina had to take the stairs.

That head of yours is filled with that little styrofoam popcorn, isn't it?

These twigs are going to be much help.

the mask coach, remember?

I'll go, I'll go. But promise me you'll tell me if she uses any four -letter

words.

I just want you to know, lady, that I think it's extremely rude to have a baby

in a public place.

Fine.

Next time I'll have it at your mother's.

appreciated. I mean, people are just used to stepping in the elevator,

button. Shut up!

There's a woman stuck in that elevator and she's having a baby.

Ah, well.

Let's see what we got.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Yeah.

Uh -huh. Yeah. Just as I suspected.

What is it? It's stuck.

Climb in through the trap door. But could that cause the elevator to fall?

Like a rock.

No, but don't worry.

Elevator like that could fall 18 stories and not have a scratch.

But what about the people inside?

You hose it out, it's good as new.

Close to showtime, sir.

Is there room for a person to lie down in there?

Full -grown man, two women, and a midget with a camera.

life so far. I got married in an Italian restaurant.

My husband's gone.

I'm having a baby in an elevator.

Well, that's not so unusual.

It's not?

No.

Of course, you're talking to a guy who once rode across France on a stationary

bicycle.

But I'm feeling much better now.

I just didn't want Sullivan to see me until I had a chance to talk to one of

guys. But I thought you were in... South America I was, but we busted the guy we

were after.

What'd you do, hide behind a desk and give him a heart attack?

I'll tell you about that later.

How's Sullivan?

Sullivan?

Oh, she's busy.

Very busy.

You know, I hope she's not too busy for me.

You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking during the ten months I've been

gone. Nine months.

Nine months? You sure? Oh, very sure.

really screwed up pushing her to get married the way I did, you know? I'm not

surprised she had second thoughts about me and my job and everything.

Well, I'm sure it was tough.

See ya.

Wait, you gotta help me.

Look, I know Sullivan didn't file the marriage license.

Is she dating anybody?

No, I don't think she'd feel dating would be appropriate.

So you think there's a chance she still loves me?

Why don't you ask her yourself? Come on.

Hey, Matt. Yeah?

Think she'll be surprised?

Not as much as you'll be.

and resentment in your voice.

What?

Christine, did you ever see your father naked?

What the hell kind of doctor are you?

I have a Ph .D. in psychology from Tufts.

Oh, thank God, Doctor, you're here. I think I'm having an anxiety attack, and

did see my parents naked.

I see we've got some power issues that we need to work out here.

down in Columbia, I realized my job was nothing if it meant I had to be without

you.

Really? If you'll take me back, I'll hang up my badge. What do you say?

You know her better than I do. Is that a yes?

Yes!

Christine, that's terrific!

So you'll be my wife?

I'm gonna have you, baby!

Of course you will!

Someday. How's today sound?

We go.

Can you believe this?

She's having my baby.

She's having my baby.

You saw my baby.

Cute as a button.

Looks like Lee Iacocca.

You mean it's a boy?

You better hope it is.

It's a boy!

It's a boy!

Don't, don't, please.

I prefer being on the giving end of Whiskerburn, you know?

And so do you, my little bambino.

Isn't that the most precious thing you've ever seen?

Here comes a close second.

I am never, ever going to leave you again.

Hey, we better get you down to the hospital.

Yeah, he's right. Come on, guys.

Only one of you can go with us.

Oh, of course. Well, I'll keep you posted.

Hey, wait a minute. Where do you get to go?

Yeah, I can handle this, you know. No, I'm the one in charge. What are you, in

charge? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Which one of you is the father?

Well, he is.

Let's go, Sullivan.

Wait a second, wait a second.

Harry, guys, how can I thank you for everything you've done?

Yeah, some help we were.

Oh, what do you mean by that?

Operation Dork.

Oh, come on. I'm not just talking about tonight. I'm talking about the last nine

months.

They gave me a baby shower.

They talked me out of moving to Buffalo.

They helped me through my Lamaze classes.

Mostly, you made me feel like I'd never be alone.

Hey, don't look at me.

All I did was get her stuck in the elevator.

You know, if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have been here for the birth of

son.

You want to hold him?

Your Honor,

you guys had more to do with this than I did.

You know what I mean.

Wow. Look at that.

Boy, I've seen some magic in my life, but nothing top -notch.

David, he cute.

I like the haircut.

He's adorable.

Hey, Raj, you're not getting sentimental on this, huh?

Maybe.

Want to make something out of it?

Ma 'am, you really should be going.

Could you tell the people at the office that I might not be in for a little

while? Yeah, what do you say, about six weeks?

I don't know.

I'll have to ask the men in my life.

Wait a minute!

They forgot Christine's shoes!