All language subtitles for my_favorite_martian_s03e29_horse_and_buggy_martin

The least you could do is to ask me to
move.

I could? Yes, you could.

Okay, move.

All right.

Big deal.

Isn't that a rather schoolboyish trick?

Well, it's a thing I learned from my
mother.

You see, a very heavy forward stroke,
and a very light back one, and it makes

proper ring.

I don't enjoy physical humor.

I'm not joking. It's a sweeper fact.

You know very well what I'm referring
to. I do?

Well, give me a hint.

Is it bigger than a bread box?

Do you deny that you just hit me?

And shoved me?

Me? You.

Well, look, there must be somebody else
in the ring with us because I haven't

laid a glove on you.

Well, that's not entirely an
impossibility.

You mean... we have an invisible
visitor?

Well? Do I set another place at the
table? Aside from three spiders, a fly,

silverfish, and a lawnmoth, you and I
are the sole occupants present. Yet I

I felt something.

Well, I know what you're feeling. Old
age.

Old age?

At 932?

Well, I'm still just a kid.

No, no, no, no, no. There still has to
be a... What was that?

That was my early warning device.

Tim, I'm in trouble.

I'll call a doctor. No, no, Tim. Just
get me my Martian memory pills.

The medical memory pill, please.

Now, I'll program the computer with my
total physical condition.

This should be the diagnosis.

Well? Tim, it's worse than I thought.

What have you got? A mosquito bite.

You know, my mother always told me that
hot chicken soup and hot tea would cure

anything from whooping cough to snake
bite. Well, I doubt they'll do that much

for a mosquito bite.

You know, what I can't understand is how
a little tiny mosquito could put a

Martian down so completely.

Well, the disquieting part of it is
that...

that Martians are not even appetizing to
mosquitoes.

The one that bit me must have been quite
inexperienced.

Just a crazy mixed -up kid, huh? Yeah.

And then having bitten me, he didn't
even bother to... to clean his dining

equipment. You mean, even mosquitoes
have to brush after every meal?

Yeah, but this one didn't.

Result? The next person that he chose to
sup upon received an infinitesimal

injection of pure me.

So that what I have is a strong case of
sim sim sympatheticus.

Stuttering? Sim sim sympatheticus.

Extreme feeling for another.

As long as there is a drop of me in his
veins, I will feel everything that my

blood brother feels.

Oh.

Well, then all that stuff that you were
feeling was actually happening to

someone else. Ah.

You do understand.

Now, to cure.

Sem, sem, Sempatheticus, I must find
this host, get a bit of gamma globulin

him, create an antidote, and neutralize
him. Oh.

Well, how do we find him? Get a
bloodhound?

No, no. We deduce who he is and where he
is by analyzing the way I feel.

Tim, a horrible thought just occurred to
me.

Mosquitoes aren't limited to biting
human beings.

They live off of any warm -blooded
animal.

Now... My blood brother could be
anything from an aardvark to a zebra.

thing's for sure.

The way you're eating that sugar, he
belongs to that group that has 40 % more

cavities.

Look, boys.

Hello,

Martin.

Hello,

Martin. Hello, Martin.

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

What are you doing?

It's six o 'clock in the morning. I'm
not sure. To facilitate matters, I

to allow my blood brother to take over.
To observe the behavior.

All I know is I had to get up this
morning and run as fast as I could.

Well, that doesn't sound like an
aardvark.

What happened?

That's merely a preventive.

The bandages are to protect my fetlocks.

Fetlock?

Don't tell me that your blood brother is
a horse.

Not just a horse, Tim.

A racehorse.

Now,

posing as a horse doctor, it would be a
simple matter to find the horse our

mosquito chose for his dinner. Yeah, all
we have to do is find the entry he

picked for an entree.

Entry? Entree?

That's very clever, Tim.

So you got me up pretty early this
morning.

Oh.

Follow me.

Good morning, sir.

I couldn't help noticing what an
excellent view of the track you have

And I was wondering if you happen to
notice of which of your colleagues was

working out at six o 'clock this
morning.

Yes? Well, now, why don't you whisper it
to me?

Aha, indeed.

Well, I'm sure she's a very charming
lady, and I hope you'll be very happy.

Well, tell me, was ladies' maid the only
one on the track?

Ah, Lush Life and Joe Larte were there.

And Sweet Sister, they were also working
on it.

Well, thank you very much, sir. You've
been very, very helpful.

You know, Uncle Martin, I know a lot of
people talk to horses.

But you're the first one I've ever seen
get an answer.

Right from the horse's mouth.

Are you sure your stopwatch isn't
broken?

Oh, damn it, Jerry.

That watch hasn't lost a split second in
50 years. Now, I tell you, she worked a

flat mile in 132.

But that's a world record.

Not until she runs it in a race, it
ain't. And she's gonna do that in a

handicap. Ooh, there'll be a funny look
on a lot of people's faces when she

waltzes away from that hard -hearted
Hannah in the big dream $100 ,000

Oh, Grandpa, Bright Green Farms will
have a brand new start.

You just betcha.

And one day again, a bright green horse
is going to take them roses for winning

that Kentucky Derby. And the Preakness.
And the Belmont Stakes.

The Triple Crown.

Sweet sister, it's all riding on you
today.

Oh, what a beautiful day this is going
to be.

Now, now we're going to saddle you up.

And Arnold's going to walk you around
just a little, just to keep you

You just betcha.

Something wrong?

Well, it feels like somebody just put a
tight corset on me. A corset? Now, what

kind of a corset? Of course.

It's a saddle.

And these are the reins.

And that's the horse.

Now, of course, she's going to need it.
That hard -hearted hand is a real tough

man. Okay, sir.

Wow. Look it, you take the horse, and
I'll take the filly with the ponytail.

Yeah, well, the girl is the owner.

How about that? The race hasn't even
started. Already I'm a winner.

Wait a minute. First, if you don't
mind...

What'd you do?

Well, I merely loosened the saddle so
that it floats a fraction of an inch

her. And I've thrown a thin contour
force field about her.

Now the bit...

Heels on the flank and the wax on the
rump. They can't bother her, and

they can't bother me.

Now, you be a good girl and go along
with Arnold, huh? Yeah. Come on, sweet

sister. Come on. All right. Come on.

Well, let's go. Well, what's the matter?
Can't you handle her? Grandpa!

Arnold, where are you going?

Grandpa!

Here's... Where are you going, sweet
sister? You're supposed to be going the

other way. Well, what in blue blazes you
doing up there?

Arnold, just lollygag. I don't know what
happened to her.

All of a sudden, she wouldn't pay any
attention to me.

Acts like I'm not even up here.

Well, what's wrong with her, Grandpa?

Well, any fool can see what's the
matter. She lost all feeling in her

ribs.

And her high den, too.

Well, she can't win the big dream
handicap acting this way.

Why, she couldn't even win a hundred
dollar claiming race this way. This

is plumb numb.

Why, from her nose to her knuckle bone,
she's plumb numb.

What is it, Grandpa?

Now, will you please not be so blamed?
Hurry up, Carrie.

I gotta consider me two or three maybes
before I make a decision.

I wonder, will you get out of the way so
I can have some room to consider?

Now, it could be... Oh, excuse me,
please.

Well, that's very interesting.

Would you mind moving your head up and
down, please?

Grandpa, did you see that? Well, that
don't beat all.

Now... Let me see.

Hmm. All right, now let's take a look at
the throat first. All right, now would

you open wide, please?

Open wide. That's it.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Hmm, that's fascinating.

That's the first classic case of force
filicus I've seen in 15 years.

Are you a vet?

Doc Martin.

This is my assistant, Tim O 'Hara.

Oh, hi, I'm Carrie Green.

Oh, this here's my grandpa.

Howdy. And over there's our jockey,
Arnold O 'Reilly. Yeah, what are you

in that carriage? I mean, I mean...
Howdy.

What do you think it'll take to get
sweet sister going again, doc? Well,

Now, one tarnation may not care. Excuse
me, son. You gonna let a perfect

stranger doctor sweet sister? That's my
job.

Well, grandpa, it's my horse.

And the doc here seems to know what's
wrong with her.

All right. All right. You do it. You go
right ahead.

But don't you come around to me after
and expect me to unfix the fixings when

he's done.

Thank you, Grandpa.

Kelly Green.

Kelly Green.

Are you by any chance Kelly Green?

The Kelly Green?

Well, the only one I ever heard of.

Allow me to shake your hand, sir.

The name of Kelly Green is often heard
in schools of veterinary the length and

breadth of this nation.

It is? Of course.

Your home remedies are included in every
course of animal husbandry.

I'm sure you're more familiar with force
fieldicus under the colloquial term

numbsies. Now, there, you see, Carrie?
That's just exactly what I was going to

say it was when you busted in here. In
that case, sir, I should be proud to

assist you in treating sweet sister.
Well, now, I never was a man to deny

another man his pleasure.

Thank you. Thank you. I assume you want
to get a hemoglobin count first.

Hmm? Hemoglobin.

Oh, why, of course. Why, that's the very
first thing that I always do.

Oh, Arnold, I'll take that, sweet
sister. Well, then, of course, I'll take

sample to my office and mix it with my
antidote. Well, you go right ahead, Doc.

I'll tell you if you start to do
anything wrong.

Will we have to scratch her from the
race, Doc Martin?

Ah, not at all, Miss Green. I will
practically guarantee that sweet sister

not only run that race, but she'll win
it hands down.

Oh, thank you, Doc Martin. Oh, thank
you. I just want to...

Excuse me. I just had to hug somebody.

I always feel like doing that when I get
excited.

Yes, well, that's perfectly all right.
Look, if it ever happens again, here's

home phone number. Here's my office
phone number.

This is my answering service.

And here's my cable address.

Big win to William.

Hey, I thought the fix was on for hard
-hearted Hannah to win.

Well, I just saw him slip a speed shot
to sweet sister.

Yeah, with my own eyes.

Must be some other syndicate, huh?

You want I should blow the whistle on
them?

No, no, no.

I've got a better idea.

A dreamy idea.

I'll talk to you.

Sweet dreams, sweet sister.

Uncle Martin, what do you call this?

This is called sleep.

Did you finish the antidote?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow? What about the race?

No. No, yes.

Oh.

Oh, yes, the race.

Oh, yes.

You're acting like someone who just took
a count of ten.

That's it, Tim.

Somebody must have given sweet sister
knockout drops.

Are you okay, Uncle Martin?

I'm okay, Jim.

I'll get up in a minute.

You are up. Now, how can a guy sleep
standing on his feet?

Oh, it's very easy if you're a horse.

What about sweet sister,

Doc? Oh, Grandpa Cary, don't you worry
about a thing.

We will have sweet sister Raring.
Gracious, what's the matter with the

Well, you know how he is.

No, you don't know how he is.

Well, you see, when one of his patients
gets sick, he sort of identifies. It's

sort of like sympathy pains.

Oh, my goodness.

Yes, yes, he cares enough to feel the
very worst.

Right, right, yes.

We'll have sweet sister Raring to go by
post time.

Come on, Grace.

Oh, for goodness sake, it's almost post
-time right now. Yeah, well, Doc, I'll

get right down to his doctoring right
away, won't you, Doc?

Hey, hey.

What's up, Doc?

I have a jig on my brain.

Under present conditions, I can only
concentrate on one thing at a time, and

that's staying awake.

Sir?

Oh, I forgot the antidote in the wake
-up round.

Oh,

that's a fake.

Well, what are you going to do?

Now look, sweet sister should win this
race. And if it wasn't for us, she

I'll remove the protective force field.

And while they're moving her out onto
the track, I'll think of something.

That's it, Doc.

That's it.

All right, Arnold.

She's ready to go out onto the track.

Like that, Doc?

By the time she's at the post, she'll be
bright -eyed, snorting, and ready to

run. Well, now, Arnold, you heard the
doc. Will you get her out of here? We're

going to miss the post parade.

Arnold, you give sweet sister her head
at the break, and then you ease her off

little at the quarter, and let her out
again at the mile. And if you can find

opening on that rail, you duck in there
and go to the whip and the stretch.

Yes, sir. I'll try to wake her up and
let her know.

Well, let's get going.

Do you think Sweet Sister's gonna snap
out of it?

Dog!

Do you think Sweet Sister's gonna snap
out of it?

I don't know, Kim.

Kim, how much money do we have?

Money?

Well, I don't know. Let's see, I have
about ten.

Sir, I would be honored if you would
wager this on your horse to win.

Carrie, honey, there's a doctor what
puts his money where his medicine is.

Yes, money.

Now, listen to me.

That's for having such faith in sweet
sister.

Hey,

will you just take a look? See what you
blew my money on.

Oh, great.

That horse is using the starting gate as
a pillow.

As long as there is a molecule of mine
on that animal, I might just be able to

communicate with it.

Focus the energy of my willpower on it.

And get its atoms swirling about fast
enough to burn up all the bad effects of

that drug.

Oh. Well, willpower, huh?

Willpower really has power?

Properly focused, it's one of the most
potent forces in the universe.

Well, how do you focus it? I have to
raise my antenna.

You can't do that here. Not in front of
5 ,000 people.

I can raise them invisibly.

Invisibly?

I've never seen you raise your antenna
invisibly before.

Well, if you had, we'd both be in
trouble.

I do it only in extreme emergencies.

Doc!

Here's your tickets. They got Sweet
Sister 30 to 1 on the odds board.

If you're going to do something, do it
now.

I need more energy, more willpower.
Maybe I can drain off some of your

Think, Tim, think, quick.

Sweet sister, go, go.

She wishes you'd let your mane grow.
Isn't that what she said?

My, uh, my mane, huh?

Why? Well, then you'd really remind her
of her father.

Uh, you, uh, you some kind of wise guy?

I could have been called a dumb animal.

Well, one of you's got to be putting me
on. I think we got everything, Gary. You

think sweet sister will be needing any
more of them treatments?

No, no, no.

Come on, I should... She should feel
fine.

Well, thank you, Doc. You sure do know
your numbsies.

Come on.

Thank you.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

So, you know, Uncle Martin, we actually
wished that horse into first place.

Not us, Tim.

It was Terry and Grandpa who did it.

And they weren't wishing, sweet sister,
to win it all.

Well, sure they were.

No, no, no. They knew she would win.

It was their unshakable faith in that
horse, Tim.

You mean all that jazz really works?

When you have a friend on the inside.

Like who?

Like me.