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1
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,320
Okay, fella, here we go.
2
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Attaboy.
3
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Okay, okay.
4
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:20,920
All right, now listen.
5
00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:25,260
When Uncle Martin asks you where you
live, you tell him, right? And then
6
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dinner, I'll take you back to your
master.
7
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Okay?
8
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Home, Uncle Martin. And I'd like you to
meet my date for this evening.
9
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,840
Oh, good evening, Tim.
10
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A guest for dinner?
11
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Yeah.
12
00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:54,780
What do you call that?
13
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Beautiful.
14
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Beautiful?
15
00:00:58,180 --> 00:00:59,640
That's one of my kitchen chairs.
16
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The one with the even legs.
17
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,320
Tim, what would you say if I told you
that your kitchen chair was right here?
18
00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:14,520
You're putting me on.
19
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,060
That is my kitchen chair?
20
00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:18,260
Mm -hmm, it is.
21
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,200
Let's see you sit on it.
22
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,440
You don't understand, Tim.
23
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But to give you an idea of what I've
accomplished here, I want you to think
24
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,080
field of flowers.
25
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,540
A field of flowers.
26
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:37,920
Now, we condense every delicate blossom
into a single little bottle of perfume.
27
00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:39,380
Oh,
28
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oh, then that is perfume of kitchen
chairs. Exactly.
29
00:01:51,260 --> 00:01:52,500
It'll never sell.
30
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:42,120
I suppose, Tim, you're aware that all
things animal and vegetable are composed
31
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,980
mainly of water. Well, I've had times
when my knees have turned to water.
32
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:51,180
I've developed a method of miniaturizing
and distilling such things into a tiny
33
00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:53,880
fraction of their original volume and in
liquid form.
34
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,840
I call it super micro distillating
liquid chemicals.
35
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,940
Super micro distillating liquid
chemicals.
36
00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:04,240
Sounds like a song I've heard before.
37
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,960
It's nothing so frivolous. Oh, of course
not.
38
00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:10,570
It's for more important things, like
making kitchen chair juice.
39
00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:12,470
That was merely experimental.
40
00:03:27,110 --> 00:03:29,270
You see, you haven't lost a kitchen
chair, Tim.
41
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:31,430
You've merely lost a border.
42
00:03:31,730 --> 00:03:34,790
Lost a border? I intend to super micro
-distillate.
43
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,380
Liquid chemical size myself.
44
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,480
Down to half a cup of liquid.
45
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,880
Light enough to escape Earth's gravity
in my spaceship and to return to Mars.
46
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,780
But I'll need a bit of help from you.
47
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,360
Sure.
48
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:47,660
Anything I can do.
49
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:50,740
I'll need you to pour the essence of me
into a container.
50
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:54,320
Place it aboard my spaceship and launch
me on my way.
51
00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:55,820
How soon do you think you'll be leaving?
52
00:03:56,020 --> 00:03:57,020
Tonight.
53
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,580
As soon as I can have my ship ready.
54
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:01,280
I can't believe it, Tim.
55
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:07,020
Tonight, and I shall be soaring toward
that distant shore, that seat of genius,
56
00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:13,300
that reddish gleam, that precious stone
set in the jeweled space, that blessed
57
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:18,000
orb, that happy isle, that Mars.
58
00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:22,480
That sounds like something that
Shakespeare wrote about England.
59
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:23,740
Of course it does.
60
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,840
From whom do you think he borrowed it?
61
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,820
Uncle Martin, you'll never get off the
ground.
62
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,480
You're trying to take everything but the
kitchen sink.
63
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,080
I knew I'd left something.
64
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:44,480
You mean to tell me you actually expect
to get all that junk into the spaceship?
65
00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:45,940
Certainly.
66
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,440
How did you do that? It looks like a
half a pair of dice. Well, it was quite
67
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,419
simple, really.
68
00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:04,100
When your own Earth scientists finally
split the atom, they too discovered it
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00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,220
consisted mostly of space.
70
00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:07,360
I merely removed that space.
71
00:05:07,780 --> 00:05:08,900
Here, give me a hand with it, will you?
72
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:13,640
Well,
73
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,580
I only removed the space, Tim, not the
matter itself.
74
00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:24,440
Oh, I've heard of a load of dice.
75
00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:30,650
Particularly. I've already placed full
instructions for my reconstitution in
76
00:05:30,650 --> 00:05:34,530
spaceship. The special container to hold
the liquid is ready. And you know how
77
00:05:34,530 --> 00:05:35,530
to launch the ship.
78
00:05:35,610 --> 00:05:39,090
Now, all that remains is super micro
-distillating liquid chemicals.
79
00:05:40,930 --> 00:05:45,190
Super micro -distillating liquid
chemicals.
80
00:05:45,730 --> 00:05:49,730
Everything you put in it comes out in
liquid doses.
81
00:05:50,190 --> 00:05:51,630
But you're a man of house.
82
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:56,060
Or just a bunch of roses, super
-microdistillating leprechaun mucosa.
83
00:05:57,420 --> 00:05:58,420
Tim!
84
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,700
Now I know where Mary Poppins got that.
85
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,020
This time you're wrong, Tim.
86
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,520
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is
entirely original with her.
87
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,720
But isn't it a remarkable coincidence?
88
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:17,000
Well, I guess I was just joking around
because... Well, I hate to say goodbye.
89
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,880
But it's not necessary for you to say
goodbye, Tim.
90
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,640
You see, I've read your mind, and I know
how you feel about my leaving.
91
00:06:24,820 --> 00:06:25,880
I'm a little sad, too.
92
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,780
But I'll be dropping in from time to
time.
93
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,860
Tim, that little jar over there, would
you hand it to me, please?
94
00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:36,540
Sure.
95
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,360
Now, this is the stuff that does the
liquefying.
96
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,240
A rare Martian ore called Norrishkite.
97
00:07:05,130 --> 00:07:08,030
I suppose I can write to him and carry
the general delivery tomorrow.
98
00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:16,050
Well, fella, if you ever want a place to
stay, this is it.
99
00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:17,870
There'll be plenty of room now.
100
00:07:19,310 --> 00:07:20,310
Oh, I forgot.
101
00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:23,310
I left the cosmic ray -proof container
down in the garage.
102
00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:25,050
Be right back.
103
00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:30,090
Uncle Martin, don't go away.
104
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:51,960
Uncle Martin?
105
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:03,100
Uncle Martin? Uncle Martin, indeed.
106
00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:05,500
Or should I say, Uncle Martin in dog.
107
00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:09,200
Uncle Martin, it... It's you.
108
00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:10,420
Who were you expecting?
109
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,240
Lassie? Of course it's me.
110
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:17,180
The instant this flea transport lapped
up my essence, it went directly to his
111
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:18,660
intellectual center and I took over.
112
00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:22,040
Well, we've got to get you out of there.
I suppose you know how.
113
00:08:22,380 --> 00:08:28,420
Well, couldn't you just, uh... No, I
couldn't just, uh...
114
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:31,820
I'd end up with my essence mixed with
the dogs.
115
00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:34,919
I have to find a way to completely
separate the two.
116
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:40,140
I'd like to know what's so funny. I'm
talking to a dog.
117
00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:41,880
The dog's talking back to me.
118
00:08:42,179 --> 00:08:45,840
It's kind of wild. And when I
solidified, I expected to be home on
119
00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:47,420
Right now.
120
00:08:48,030 --> 00:08:49,470
You'd be a sensation on TV.
121
00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:54,150
Good morning, I'm back.
122
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,750
Well, I see you got the answer. How did
you know?
123
00:09:06,470 --> 00:09:07,590
Your tail is wagging.
124
00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:12,090
Well, you're right, Tim. I have found
it. A simple way to liquefy the dog,
125
00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:16,630
separate the two essences, mine and his,
and reconstitute them individually.
126
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:21,370
It, uh, it won't hurt the pup with it.
Then what do you take me for?
127
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:22,790
Of course not.
128
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:26,310
Now, if you could run over to a chemical
company, I'll need a pint of
129
00:09:26,310 --> 00:09:28,010
aliostomethophene 16.
130
00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:30,490
Right.
131
00:09:31,430 --> 00:09:33,290
Aliostomethophene 16.
132
00:09:33,810 --> 00:09:34,810
Right. One pint.
133
00:09:39,450 --> 00:09:41,350
Well, that equation seems to be correct.
134
00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:42,469
Oh, my.
135
00:09:42,470 --> 00:09:46,350
That should be aliostomethophene 15, not
16.
136
00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:48,390
Tim! Tim!
137
00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:49,890
Tim! Wait!
138
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,330
I made a mistake.
139
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,210
Tim! Wait!
140
00:09:53,990 --> 00:09:56,010
It isn't 16, Tim. It's 15.
141
00:09:59,310 --> 00:10:00,310
Tim!
142
00:10:02,610 --> 00:10:04,430
Tim! Wait, Tim!
143
00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:06,070
Blazing meteorites.
144
00:10:23,370 --> 00:10:24,370
Uncle Martin, I'm back.
145
00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:27,870
Hey, listen, that stuff doesn't come in
a 16. It only comes in a 15.
146
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:30,130
Well, at least that's what I brought.
147
00:10:30,270 --> 00:10:31,670
If it doesn't work, I can always take it
back.
148
00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:34,730
Uncle Martin?
149
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,470
Uncle Martin?
150
00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:42,750
You?
151
00:10:43,030 --> 00:10:44,030
Uncle Martin?
152
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:52,270
Uncle Martin?
153
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:54,640
Good morning.
154
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:59,980
Good morning.
155
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,200
Good
156
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:11,580
morning.
157
00:11:36,740 --> 00:11:39,800
Glynnis, will you listen to your poor
husband, please?
158
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:44,000
I've got to get away someplace quiet. I
need a complete rest.
159
00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:46,940
Today I've been hearing voices.
160
00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:50,020
What do you mean you've been hearing
voices?
161
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:51,900
You've been hearing voices, too.
162
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,240
I've been hearing voices where there are
no voices.
163
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:59,780
I was sure. I heard voices. I went over
to one of the cages. I thought somebody
164
00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:02,460
was in there. There was nobody in there
but some barking dogs.
165
00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:06,360
I'm telling you, I'm cracking up,
Glynnis. Look at my handshake.
166
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:07,940
Will you shut up and look?
167
00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:20,280
Oh, I'm sorry.
168
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,249
Excuse me.
169
00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:45,250
Sorry,
170
00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:46,510
I didn't mean to stall you like that.
171
00:12:48,010 --> 00:12:49,010
It's not your fault.
172
00:12:49,230 --> 00:12:52,170
It's just that I've been having a
terrible day. I've been hearing nothing
173
00:12:52,170 --> 00:12:55,350
voices behind me. And I've been afraid
to turn around and see nothing but dogs
174
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:57,070
again. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
175
00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:58,450
No, I'm not.
176
00:12:58,830 --> 00:13:01,850
You say you've been hearing nothing but
voices, and every time you turned
177
00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:04,110
around, there was nothing but dogs?
178
00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:05,229
It's eerie.
179
00:13:05,230 --> 00:13:08,290
Would you say it sounded like a man?
180
00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:11,310
Yeah, yeah, that's right. You've been
hearing them, too? Well, let's just say
181
00:13:11,310 --> 00:13:13,230
that if you were to show me the same...
182
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:16,640
I might just hear the same voices.
183
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:18,840
You mean you want it on purpose?
184
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,020
That's how I get my kicks.
185
00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:25,340
There are the cages.
186
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:26,559
Be my guest.
187
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:27,560
Live.
188
00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:34,260
That's it, huh?
189
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,360
Not the only one? Oh, except one, two,
two.
190
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:42,720
One, two, two? What's that, a license
number? No, one is the number. Two, two
191
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:43,399
the name.
192
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,220
Little brown and white mutt. Cute.
193
00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:46,560
Keeps running away.
194
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:47,720
Yo, what happened to him?
195
00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:52,040
Picked up by the lady who owns him.
Picked up by the lady who owns him?
196
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,040
hour ago.
197
00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:56,220
Mamma mia.
198
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:05,340
Oh, my poor darling.
199
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,040
Oh, my poor little sweetheart.
200
00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:10,500
Did you miss your mommy?
201
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:12,540
Your mommy missed little...
202
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,220
I'm so happy he's back safe and sound.
203
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:27,920
And now, let me see you sit up and beg
for mommy.
204
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,540
Up, doo -doo, up.
205
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,020
And now this is for you.
206
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,200
A doggie yummy.
207
00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:42,720
And now...
208
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:47,480
Mommy's going to fix baby his favorite
dinner, raw liver.
209
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:52,700
Raw liver? I've not only got to reach
Tim, he's got to get me out of here
210
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:53,700
dinner.
211
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:20,880
That's right in the neighborhood.
212
00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:25,740
Uh -huh. Well, then please hurry, Tim.
You can't imagine what I've been going
213
00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:26,740
through.
214
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,820
And she does nothing but hug me and kiss
me all the time. She's mad about me.
215
00:15:35,340 --> 00:15:37,380
I have to say goodbye, Tim. Just hurry.
216
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:06,260
looking. Where?
217
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:08,520
Say hello to Tutu.
218
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,840
Not that cockroach. Where's lover boy?
219
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,300
Ah!
220
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,080
Lover boy. Hector, the homewrecker.
221
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,920
I heard a man's voice in here.
222
00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:19,820
A man's voice in here?
223
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,800
Don't say it was a TV set I heard. I
felt it and it's cold.
224
00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:27,500
Honey, did you have a drink with the
boys on your way home?
225
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,460
You mean nobody's been here and nobody's
here now?
226
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,540
Only me and Tutu.
227
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:33,900
Jealous.
228
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,140
I could have sworn I heard a voice.
229
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:46,420
Look,
230
00:16:47,020 --> 00:16:49,460
he wants you to take him for a walk,
don't you, Tootoo?
231
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,760
Isn't that precious? He answered me
right back.
232
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,340
Now don't keep him waiting, honey.
233
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,100
Why couldn't you have been born a great
dame?
234
00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:11,220
What's with you and my wife? Bernard,
have you lost your mind? I've never seen
235
00:17:11,220 --> 00:17:12,220
that man before.
236
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:14,020
Yeah, well, Tutu seems to know him
pretty good.
237
00:17:14,260 --> 00:17:18,200
Oh, well, I can explain that. You know
how a dog is man's best friend? Yeah.
238
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,400
I'm a dog.
239
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,940
Don't do anything you're going to be
sorry for.
240
00:17:22,220 --> 00:17:23,720
Yeah, don't do anything I'll be sorry
for.
241
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,980
Now, listen, you. I got a phonographic
memory. I never forget a voice.
242
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:30,260
Now, you say, hug me and kiss me. Go
ahead.
243
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,160
Hug me and kiss me.
244
00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:37,560
You're not the voice I heard.
245
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,080
I'm glad.
246
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:44,000
You poor man. Are you all right?
247
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,700
Bernard, you ought to be ashamed.
248
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,080
All right, I'm sorry.
249
00:17:49,420 --> 00:17:50,560
I'm sorry.
250
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:54,080
I'm sorry. And just to prove it, I'll
buy whatever you're selling.
251
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,400
No, I'm not selling anything.
252
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,680
No, no, I'm buying. I'd like to buy your
dog.
253
00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:00,420
Oh, that dog?
254
00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:01,460
Did you?
255
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:02,740
He's not for sale.
256
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:04,660
Oh, well, how much?
257
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:05,880
Bernard!
258
00:18:06,140 --> 00:18:07,140
How much?
259
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:12,300
Well, I can see how you are attached to
the dog.
260
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:17,280
What would you think about $100?
261
00:18:18,820 --> 00:18:20,340
$100 for that dog?
262
00:18:20,580 --> 00:18:24,280
You must be kidding. Well, you certainly
must be, Tutu, not for sale.
263
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:25,900
$200.
264
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,720
$200. $250.
265
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,720
Well, no, Tutu is not for sale, not for
any price.
266
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:32,820
$275.
267
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,040
$275?
268
00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:39,240
Uh, why don't you let me talk to my wife
for a minute, huh? Yeah.
269
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:44,900
Oh, my Lord, you can't be serious. You
just can't be. I wouldn't sell my little
270
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:48,340
tutu nut for a million dollars. All
right, keep your shirt on, sweetheart. I
271
00:18:48,340 --> 00:18:49,560
wouldn't sell a little mutt you love.
272
00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:51,780
Well, then why are you even listening to
that man?
273
00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:53,860
To find out what his angle is.
274
00:18:54,140 --> 00:18:59,320
I mean, something's funny here. Nobody
offers 275 bucks for a handful of flea
275
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:00,320
bait. Flea bait?
276
00:19:00,460 --> 00:19:02,260
Tutu? Okay, all right.
277
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:05,960
But what does he know that we don't?
What do you mean?
278
00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:08,440
I mean you needn't try to buy me.
279
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,540
What am I supposed to do? Just run out
the door with you? I'm not a dog napper.
280
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,700
Finesse, dear boy. Use finesse.
281
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:16,240
Borrow me for a few hours.
282
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:17,520
Just ask.
283
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:18,900
Use a simple pretext.
284
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:24,940
That should be ample time to...
Gwendolyn, did you hear what I heard?
285
00:19:25,380 --> 00:19:28,220
I heard what you heard if you heard what
I heard.
286
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:29,519
He talked.
287
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:32,600
He talked. The dog talked. He talked to
you. I heard him. He talked.
288
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:34,920
Maybe he had something to say.
289
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,180
Sure, that's it. It was his voice I
heard when I came home.
290
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:42,640
Hey, baby, I have heard jokes about
talking dogs, but he is for real. We own
291
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,020
talking dog. He talked.
292
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,460
All this time, Tutu, and you never told
us. How could you?
293
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:51,740
It'd be no wonder you offered so much
for my little dog. You knew all the
294
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,180
Thought you could steal a gold mine from
under my nose, huh?
295
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,320
Really now.
296
00:19:57,100 --> 00:20:01,820
You mean a grown man such as you can
believe a dog such as me could actually
297
00:20:01,820 --> 00:20:05,220
talk? Well, I gotta admit, I feel like
I'm flipping out.
298
00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:09,240
Look who I'm holding a conversation
with.
299
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,500
Yes, with whom are you holding this
conversation?
300
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,100
Oh, well, uh, with you.
301
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,140
Bernard, uh, may I call you Bernard?
302
00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:19,420
Sure, pal.
303
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,240
I think you ought to call him Daddy.
304
00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:26,920
Now, hold on, sweetheart. If he wants to
call me Bernard, it's okay with me. You
305
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,400
go ahead, too, too.
306
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:33,480
Bernard, Gwendolyn, you've both just
paid me the highest tribute a
307
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:34,480
ever received.
308
00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:39,380
A ventriloquist?
309
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:42,380
Oh! Oh!
310
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:43,779
Surprising, isn't it?
311
00:20:43,780 --> 00:20:47,820
I mean, I'm surprised that you didn't
catch on sooner.
312
00:20:54,090 --> 00:20:55,090
A ventriloquist.
313
00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:57,030
Well, I didn't mean to fool you so
completely.
314
00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:58,790
My tutu's still in for sale.
315
00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:01,630
No, I thought not, but I thought maybe I
might borrow him.
316
00:21:01,890 --> 00:21:02,890
What for?
317
00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:04,470
You would ask that, wouldn't you?
318
00:21:04,670 --> 00:21:05,910
A ventriloquist.
319
00:21:07,430 --> 00:21:09,970
Wouldn't you know, I'd have to have a
dog that couldn't talk.
320
00:21:13,930 --> 00:21:15,770
A ventriloquist.
321
00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:18,590
Now, now, just a minute, Mr.
322
00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:23,300
Ventriloquist. If it was his voice I
heard through the door when I came home,
323
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:28,300
and he is only your dummy, then what's
with you and my wife?
324
00:21:31,380 --> 00:21:32,380
I'm crying.
325
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:34,900
Tim,
326
00:21:38,580 --> 00:21:42,100
the moment I got out into the corridor,
I threw up a force field designed to
327
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:43,100
stop Frisbee's punch.
328
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:44,300
Yeah?
329
00:21:44,330 --> 00:21:45,630
Well, he beats you to it.
330
00:21:45,890 --> 00:21:49,670
I'm afraid dog paws aren't the most
efficient force field levitators.
331
00:21:49,670 --> 00:21:50,329
me, Tim.
332
00:21:50,330 --> 00:21:51,490
Oh, forget it.
333
00:21:52,090 --> 00:21:53,090
Now, let's see.
334
00:21:53,530 --> 00:21:55,710
The micro is humming.
335
00:21:56,230 --> 00:22:00,110
The distillator is burbling. Now all we
have to do is add a little nourish kite.
336
00:22:00,410 --> 00:22:01,830
Not too much nourish kite now.
337
00:22:02,150 --> 00:22:05,010
I'll need some to liquefy me for my
flight home. Check.
338
00:22:05,910 --> 00:22:09,930
Now, all we have to do is add a little
alliostimethafine number 15.
339
00:22:11,310 --> 00:22:12,330
That's to, uh...
340
00:22:13,180 --> 00:22:14,600
Separate the men from the toys.
341
00:22:16,780 --> 00:22:18,020
And a couple of ice cubes.
342
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,140
So, you know, a twist of lemon, this
would be a marvelous cocktail.
343
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,280
Well, as they say on Madison Avenue, you
can help me get out of this pet thing
344
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:31,280
and into a cool mart.
345
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,260
You may pour when you're ready, Tim.
346
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:34,720
All righty.
347
00:22:50,830 --> 00:22:51,890
Now let's see if this works.
348
00:23:05,670 --> 00:23:10,510
Uncle Martin, boy, am I glad to see you.
349
00:23:10,910 --> 00:23:13,550
Ah, Tim, you don't know how good it
feels to be a man again.
350
00:23:13,830 --> 00:23:16,690
Good, I'd say, judging by the way your
tail is wagging.
351
00:23:26,220 --> 00:23:29,180
Tim, I think you forgot to clear the
apparatus before reversing it.
352
00:23:30,340 --> 00:23:32,700
And thereby hang the tail.
353
00:23:41,580 --> 00:23:44,660
Well, you both look all right. On the
outside, that is. How do you feel?
354
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:46,940
Well, speaking for both of us, perfect.
355
00:23:47,220 --> 00:23:49,560
You don't have an urge to bark or
anything, do you?
356
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,380
Well, come to think of it, I am
suppressing an urge to howl.
357
00:23:52,940 --> 00:23:55,720
Oh, no, come on, Uncle Martin, you
can't. We haven't got any more Norrish
358
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:56,720
to liquefy you with.
359
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,860
Well, that's what I'm suppressing a
desire to howl about.
360
00:23:59,740 --> 00:24:00,740
Oh, yeah.
361
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:04,160
Well, I guess I sort of wiped out a
chance for you to go home, didn't I?
362
00:24:04,180 --> 00:24:05,039
never mind.
363
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:06,040
I'll find another way.
364
00:24:06,540 --> 00:24:08,720
At any rate, one of us should make it
home.
365
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:13,100
I'll get our little friend here back to
Gwendolyn. Oh, well, I'll take him.
366
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,960
Well, I don't think it's advisable for
you to bump into a jealous Bernard
367
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,560
Oh, listen, how about you? It's not
going to be any easier, you know, with
368
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:20,560
phonographic memory.
369
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:21,739
What about your voice?
370
00:24:21,740 --> 00:24:25,440
Have no fear, Tim. Bernard will never
recognize my voice disguised like this.
371
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:28,440
No, but it sounds familiar to me.
372
00:24:29,140 --> 00:24:30,140
Whose voice is that?
373
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:34,200
Bernard's. Hey, listen, Tutu. You know
what? I think your mommy has raw liver
374
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,600
for your dinner tonight. How would you
like that?
375
00:24:38,100 --> 00:24:39,680
That's what I thought. You're going to
like it very much.
29013
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