All language subtitles for my_favorite_martian_s03e23_when_a_martian_makes_his_violin_cry

Thanks. Oh,

thank you, Tim. Billy, the real crap.

19 out of 20. Not bad.

Bill, you're a regular Annie Oakley.

By the way, Annie, did you say you were
the crack shot of the force or the crack

pot? I've won the marksmanship medal
three years in a row. If William Tell

had Brennan's aim, he would have had an
apple calling him daddy.

All right, O 'Hara, let's see how good
you are.

All right.

At shooting off something besides your
big mouth.

Martin deserves a trophy, too.

Some trophy.

A statue with a clock in its stomach.
You're just jealous because you have to

wear a wristwatch like everyone else.

I would be pleased if you would accept
this.

Oh, thank you, Martin.

Now, whenever I look at it, it'll remind
me of you.

Wouldn't a cuckoo clock be more
appropriate?

Only if she wants to be reminded of you.

Cut your red -handed.

Raymond, do nothing.

Easy, buster.

What's wrong with you, you crazy person?

Fernand, perhaps you're acting too
hastily.

This man doesn't have Laura Lee's purse.

He obviously passed it along to an
accomplice in the crowd.

Well, now, maybe he had nothing to do
with it, Bill. He looks innocent.

Do you ever see a lawbreaker who looked
guilty? They're supposed to look not

guilty. Strategy taken from an expert.

Well, he looks not guilty, all right.

And I suppose you know your business.

My tribal curse be on your hand.

Whatever you hold will slip through your
fingers like grains of sand.

What does he mean by that?

He's talking gibberish, my dear.

Oh, my goodness, I didn't mean to do
that.

Curse already working.

You don't suppose?

An accidental coincidence, my dear. It
could happen to anyone.

I'll call a patrol car and meet you
later at the carousel.

Come on.

Oh, maybe I can glue it back together
again.

That gypsy isn't a peep, Tim. I read his
mind, and I know he didn't take that

purse. Oh, well, coincidence or not, I
just wish he hadn't put that curse on

her. Oh, come now, Tim. There are no
such things as curses.

Only people who believe in them.

Now, if you're going to pace back and
forth, why don't you push the vacuum

cleaner? Your levity is like your house
cleaning, Tim.

A lot of rub, but no polish. Okay, okay.

Then I won't ask what's disturbing you.

What is disturbing you? I was that gypsy
boy, sitting in a cell all because of

that Brennan.

Oh. If blundering were an Olympic event,
he'd get the gold medal.

But Brennan can't prove that he's
guilty. Yes, and I can't prove that he's

innocent. How can I tell Brennan that I
read the gypsy's mind?

Oh, yeah, you're right. You can't.

They'd throw you in a cell.

A padded one.

Still, I feel obligated to help.

Laura Lee may not have come from a
broken home, but at the rate she's

will soon be living in one.

I've heard of Butterfingers before, but
this is ridiculous. I'm never going to

get this story done.

I am going to a pedal drum factory where
I can get peace and quiet.

Good evening. I do hope I'm disturbing
you. What's one more disturbance around

here? Yes.

Oh, Loralee.

I've just come from seeing her. That was
thoughtless of you, Brennan.

She already has one curse on her.

Speaking from a metaphysical point of
view, I find her case very interesting.

I didn't know you were moonlighting in
metaphysics.

I took a postgraduate course at the
university under Dr. Franz Habacher.

Naturally, you've heard of Dr. Habacher.

Does he make house calls?

You see, there is reality to Laurel's
problem, but it's a reality of mind over

matter. She's being cursed from within,
not from without.

She's under her own spell, not the
gypsy's. Oh, well, I figured that out as

as I stopped playing voodoo dolls.

Scarf, if you like, but I know what I'm
talking about.

I'm following in the footsteps of Hegel,
Bergson, Whitehead. Oh, well, that's

the detective in you, Vernon. You're
always trailing somebody.

Have you ever considered enrolling your
nephew in an obedience school?

What was the name of the one you dropped
out of again?

Don't think it ain't been charming,
because it ain't.

Uncle Martin, can't you invent some kind
of a Martian gizmo to take the curse

off Mrs. Brown?

No, I don't have a gizmo, Tim.

But I do have a plan.

And that is to make myself invisible and
hold things tightly in her hand so that

nothing drops through. Oh, that'll give
her confidence back.

Exactly. Until Laura Lee stops thinking
she's cursed, she will continue to drop

things.

You can say that again.

I think it's time I made my
disappearance.

Forget something?

I'm trying to raise my antenna.

But it appears that the lifting
mechanism is not working.

Well, why don't you take two aspirins
and stay off your head for a couple of

days?

I think I've diagnosed the trouble.

Last night at the carnival, I unwisely
indulged in too much caramel popcorn and

cotton candy. As a result, my sensitive
Martian system must have over

-assimilated a supply of sugar.

Sort of gummed up the works, huh?

Syruped up the works, to be more
precise.

But the consequence is the same.

When the sugar is absorbed, I'll be able
to raise my antenna again.

Well, then you sort of sweet -toothed
yourself out of giving Mrs. Brown an

invisible helping hand.

You sure know how to hurt a merchant.

Fortunately, I have an alternate plan.

Since Laura Lee was so susceptible to a
curse being put on her, she should be

equally susceptible to a curse being
removed from her. Oh, you mean have the

gypsy take back the spell?

We'll give it a try in the morning.

Uh, we're your friends.

Raymond has no friends.

The other evening, you put a curse on
this lady. This sweet, gentle lady who

never did you any harm.

She yelled her pocketbook gone.

She's so sweet and gentle. Why should
she not keep her mouth shut?

Now, how would you react if you lost
something?

Gypsies never lose.

Gypsies find.

She would be very grateful if you would
remove the curse.

I, Raymond's grandmother, He not steal
purse.

He good boy for gypsy.

I'm sure he is.

Your people say that a favor travels a
two -way road.

How you know this?

You gypsy?

No, but I will be glad to talk to
Lieutenant Brennan on Raymond's behalf.

Oh.

If, uh, if Lieutenant let Raymond go,
Raymond take curse off lady.

Under no conditions will I release this
man. Vernon, why do you have to be so

unbending? You know you can only hold
him 48 hours.

And besides, Bill, he'll remove the
curse.

There is no curse.

But a crime has been committed.

And even if it's only on suspicion, I'm
going to hold him for 48 hours and not a

second less.

If I let Raymond go now, it'll be an
invitation to gypsies everywhere to go

law -breaking spree.

It'll be an injustice to justice.

Wasn't it Benjamin Franklin who said
that pity and forbearance...

Should characterize all acts of justice?

Besides, Raymond wasn't caught with the
evidence.

Oh, Harrah, with all due respect to you
and Benjamin Franklin, you don't know

gypsies as well as I do.

Sooner or later, we'll find Raymond's
accomplice.

Probably emptying out a store somewhere.

Raymond not empty out open stores.

Raymond open up empty ones.

Just because one gypsy once may have
done something wrong is no reason to

condemn all of them.

Any more than we can say all policemen
are stubborn and hard -headed just

because of you.

You talk like gypsies. I still say the
law is the law.

Oh, right, Lieutenant.

I put my tribal curse on your hand.

Cool it, Raymond.

Whatever you touch will slip through
your fingers like grains of sand.

Oh, Bill, he's done it to you, too.

A meaningless incantation, my dear.

You mean you're not going to drop
things?

Give me something, O 'Hara.

I wish I had something contagious.

You see?

It's metaphysical.

you're not Gypsy.

I'm sure.

Then you next best thing to Gypsy.

You human being.

room in his wall -to -wall debris.

If Washington never got a look at that
place, they declared another disaster

area. It's no use. I still can't raise
my antenna.

Oh, is she in a bad way? You wouldn't
believe this lady. If it continues, she

won't be able to eat. She will not be
able to dress herself.

She'll be as helpless as a baby. Well,
it's taking longer than I expected to

absorb the sugar. Don't you care what's
happening to Mrs. Brown? Of course I

care, Tim. That's why I'm going to help
her, and Raymond, too. She is a wreck

down there, and you're going to help
her? Yes, but first, maybe we'd better

what Brennan is up to.

Since my antenna aren't working, I'll
have to hook up my telemontering system

the television set.

And now for the late, late, late
eavesdropping show.

Happens every year, Captain. Just look
at those statistics.

Petty theft, fraud, shoplifting.

Brennan, you can't just say that gypsies
are responsible for all these

occurrences. Most of them are good law
-abiding citizens.

I don't want to step in your authority,
Captain, but this is a matter within my

jurisdiction. And I happen to believe in
preventive medicine.

I know, but a crackdown seems like a
rather severe dosage.

Just leave it to me.

Any gypsy found guilty of suspicious
activities will be brought in for

questioning.

It won't be my fault if he doesn't come
up with the right answers.

Boy, that Brennan.

I wonder what he uses for a heart on
Valentine's Day.

Now we can concentrate on Laura Lee.

I still think we'll be on the right
track by making her believe the curse

been taken off her. Well, we may be on
the right track, but we missed the

Raymond won't do it. And according to
the code of the Romanies, no gypsy will

remove another gypsy's curse.

Uncle Martin, how do you know so much
about their customs?

When gypsies wander, Tim, they really
wander. We even have a few on Mars.

Anyway, there goes your plan.

Not necessarily.

But you said that no gypsy would
cooperate.

Meet a gypsy defector.

Uncle Martin, that's great, but you just
heard Brennan. He's on a gypsy hunt.

That'll be dangerous for you. Tim, there
are times when a man has to stare

danger in the face in order to look
himself in the eye.

I'll dance to that.

I do not understand.

You wish to rent store for one
afternoon.

Why? If that's a good question.

You tell him why, Uncle Martin. It's a
fraternity initiation.

Oh, I see.

Excuse me one moment. I will discuss it
with Princess Narita.

What do you think? Come in.

They don't look sneaky enough.

Police, then?

They don't believe the fraternity
initiation.

Oh. Come to think of it, you do look a
little old for a college boy.

They don't look sneaky enough for that
either.

They're not going to rent us the store.

Good.

Then let's get out.

We cannot rent the store. We are sorry.

Perhaps so our trip is not a total loss,
the young lady could tell my fortune.

With pleasure.

I see that you are not like ordinary
man.

I see that you have made a long, long
journey.

I see... I see... I

see the young man passing over $50 bill.

I see us renting him store.

But I thought we weren't going to.

But now in the crystal ball, I see it.
Oh?

You see it in crystal ball?

No, no, I really do see it. Of course
you see it. You're supposed to see it.

not supposed to see it, but I'm seeing
it.

Well, you all right?

No, just... Oh, it's fading.

Random store.

Good. Well, you said $50.

She is yours.

Hey, what are you doing? I thought you
said the store was ours.

The store, she is yours. Everything else
is extra.

But for a few miserable dollars more,
you can rent chairs, table, crystal

And here is the man who is going to

help you.

lady is... Do not have to tell me. This
is Mrs. Brown.

There is evil curse on her hand.

Oh, how wonderful. He knows all about
me.

Jojo know everything.

Jojo. Any relation to Zsa Zsa? Yeah. We
are both Hungarian.

Really? Do you like tapioca goulash?

Jojo, get with it.

Silence! I'm about to break evil spell.

Eek, hike, hocus, pocus, tee, fie,
fumble, focus,

shade of night and bane of hen, mingle,
mingle yet again.

Mother freaking of my thumb, something
wicked this way come.

That's Shakespeare from Macbeth.

That's Brennan from the police.

Quick, disappear.

I can't. They're still sugar -coated.

Bill, what in the world are you doing
here?

Ask him. He's the fortune teller. Do you
have a license?

What is license?

Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

Have you ever maybe been to Budapest?

Well, no matter.

You're coming along with us.

But, Bill... Well, he was just going to
remove my curse.

Make a note of that.

Removing a curse without a license.

Well, you must have something more
important to do than throwing the book

some poor, insignificant little fortune
teller.

I'm not throwing the book at him. Just a
few pages.

You shouldn't have come here, Tim.

Well, it's all right. I'm covering the
story with a paper.

Now, would you mind telling me, are we
in little trouble or big?

Well, if they book me and make a
thorough check, they're bound to

a gypsy named Jojo does not exist.

And that a Martian named Martin does.

Well, we're in big trouble.

Tell a story, O 'Hara.

A vat or chicken paprikash?

Oh, you're going to let them go?

Sure, we're letting them go. Right down
the hall where we can book them. Come

on.

Bill,

Bill, please let Jojo finish removing my
curse.

Loralee, for the hundredth time, there
is no curse.

And besides, this is a police station,
not a sideshow.

All right, now.

Well,

what are you waiting for? An engraved
place card?

Jojo will execute a rare seagull move of
unassisted double play. Are you sure

I don't know you from somewhere?

Curse is removed from charming lady.

And passed on to Lieutenant.

Join the club. It's been tried before.

May your fingers fumble and your big
feet be clumsy.

Oh, look, Jojo. Gypsy curses just don't
work on me. I'd explain it to you

metaphysically, but you wouldn't
understand.

The curse is gone.

It's gone. Look.

Oh, thank you, Jojo. Thank you.

Morally, will you please put that down?

Was it, Lieutenant?

Your clumsy feet?

No, that wasn't your clumsy feet,
Lieutenant. That was your

fumbling feet?

from you and I'll have you banned from
police.

Of course.

Show job.

That's it.

That's what?

Dr. Harbacher told us at graduate school
about these happenings, but I never

thought it would happen to me.

Oh, Cara, do you know what I'm doing?

I'm demonstrating the existence of
something beyond... on the natural

things. Oh, and I thought you were
falling in love.

I have a curse on me.

Not just a mind -over -matter one like
Laurel is, but a real, genuine matter

-over -mind one. Oh, well, maybe I can
get Jojo to remove the curse.

No, I won't remove the curse unless he
releases my countrymen. Oh, no, no, no,

but I don't want it removed.

I'm going to write me up.

For the metaphysical journal. I'll be
their phenomenon of the month.

Jojo have better idea.

Jojo will remove curse unless he lets my
people go.

The law is the law.

And metaphysics is metaphysics.

Or is it metaphysics are metaphysics?

We just brought in the man who stole
this.

Another gypsy?

No, Brennan. A pitch man for the
carnival.

Well, that puts Raymond in the clear.

I guess I have nothing to hold you
others on.

You can all go.

Lieutenant, you are good boy for non
-gypsy.

Yes, sir.

I'll accept you, Jojo.

You're remaining in my personal custody
so I can do further studies.

Uncle Martin.

What about your uncle?

Oh, he's fine. Just fine.

How about nothing as exciting as this
ever happened to his uncle?

I'll take that bet.

I don't know why you insisted on coming
back here.

What's so occult about a neighborhood
store?

Who said anything about occult? The rent
is paid out.

Jojo, I'm afraid you still haven't
caught the spirit of things.

I want to work with you because I'm
convinced there's a mysterious affinity

between us. A contact beyond the scope
of the understanding, as we understand

it. You may be right about that,
Lieutenant.

Jojo, I believe there are certain people
who command a mystic insight into life.

There are even some who are supposed to
possess strange powers who can move

things through space or make them
disappear entirely.

I have heard of such people.

Until today.

I never dreamed that I might be one of
them.

But look how I made that ink bottle
spill over.

You may.

You may.

If you and I work together and study
together, maybe someday I could even

things fly through space. There's no
limit to what I might be able to do.

Of course, it's absolutely essential
that you and I stay close together.

So as not to sever the affinity.

Who knows?

Maybe someday I might even be able to
make things disappear.

I did it. I did it.

Jojo.

Jojo, come back.

Jojo, you've got to come back. Tell me.

How did I make you disappear?

What did I do right?