All language subtitles for my_favorite_martian_s03e14_loralei_brown_vs_everybody

All right, Mrs. Brown, now think.

Concentrate. Well, I'm trying to, Tim,
but I keep hearing this terrible buzzing

sound between my ears.

Is that better, Laura Lee?

Oh, my, yes. Why, it's completely gone.

But how did you do that?

Oh, it's a trade secret.

You were trying to remember what you did
with my letter. Oh, yes. Well, I do

remember the postman bringing it this
morning, but you weren't home. That's

right. It was from the Geophysical
Research and Review News.

Well, I wouldn't know about that,
Martin. I never read people's personal

addresses.

I wonder if I could have put it in my
sewing basket.

I'll go look.

Boy, that is the worst I've ever seen
her.

Yeah. Apparently, she's very excited
about something.

I've observed that her attention span
shortens in an inverse ratio to the

of her enthusiasm.

Well,

I wouldn't really know what to say about
that, except... Oh!

She inversed all right. She forgot to
bake these brownies.

Hey,

Uncle Martin. Are you hatching a plot?

Or are you breaking in a new set of
wrinkles?

Hold on. I was considering taking a
calculated risk. What kind of calculated

risk? I have a supply of concentration
pills in my space kit.

If I can induce Laura Lee to take one,
then immediately mention the letter, she

will concentrate on that and remember
immediately where she put it.

Well, for Pete's sake, what are we
waiting for?

If anything goes wrong on the timing,
she'll concentrate on whatever first

catches her attention to the exclusion
of all else. What could possibly go

wrong? With you right here in complete
control. Come on.

What is this, Martin?

A simple little pill, Laura Lee, which
can calm your nerves so you can

concentrate. Oh, like an aspirin.

Oh, someone's at the door. Excuse me.

Not ready yet, Laura Lee?

Oh, that's where it is.

Excuse me, Bill.

I'll be right back. I know now where I
put the letter.

What was that all about? Well, Uncle
Martin just received a very important

letter, and Mrs. Brown can't remember
where she put it. Oh, really?

From a creditor, no doubt.

Threatening to sue?

On the contrary, Mr. Brennan.

I have been expecting a modest fee for
some material I submitted to an esoteric

periodical. Don't tell me. Let me guess.

Horror Monster Comics magazine.

No, but when you're through with your
copy, I should like to see it.

I understand there's an excellent
likeness of you on the cover.

I knew where it was all the time,
Martin.

I just couldn't think of it.

Thank you.

The minute I saw Bill standing at the
door, I remembered.

Well, maybe that's because he reminds
you of a reject from the dead letter

office.

Oh, no, silly.

Bill and I are going out this evening,
and I knew that you and Martin wouldn't

be home until this evening, so I put the
letter in my evening bag.

Oh, that makes sense.

I guess.

Oh.

They're going to give Bill an award of
merit for being such a fine policeman

tonight, and I'll be so thrilled and
excited. Maybe I better just keep this,

just in case.

That is, if you don't mind, Martin.

Mind? Why should I mind?

Well, you look like you just lost your
best pill.

Well, not my best, but certainly my most
dangerous, if Laura Lee happens to take

it at the wrong moment.

My goodness, I don't know when I've had
such a wonderful evening.

Oh, imagine me, a real honest -to
-goodness honorary deputy police

I think it was awfully sweet of your
chief to appoint us ladies as deputies.

Only a small token of the esteem in
which we all hold American women, it

be. Uncle Martin, I'd feel a lot better
if you didn't try to pull off this purse

-satching bit in front of a hundred
cops.

I'm not purse -satching.

I'm merely trying to reclaim what is
rightfully mine. What's the big hurry?

Can't you wait until there aren't so
many witnesses?

There won't be any witnesses.

And as I have already explained, if
Laura Lee takes that pill at the

moment, it could well have dire
consequences for all of us.

Awarded to William Brennan, Lieutenant
of Police, for meritorious service above

and beyond the call of duty.

Oh, Bill, I am so proud and happy.

Thank you, Laura Lee. Bill, it's all
been so thrilling.

Your plaque and my badge and everything?

Well, I'm so excited, I don't... Oh,
well, of course. Why didn't I think of

before? Think of what, dear?

Martin's pill. It's supposed to calm you
down.

Ah, you got it.

Don't look now, but somebody punched a
hole in your concentration pill.

That is not my concentration pill. It's
a candy mint.

It must have the same specific gravity
as the pill. Oh?

But it's good, though.

I just remembered something.

Oh.

Something wrong.

There most certainly is.

Where's your citation book?

My citation book? That little pad you
carry around when you give tickets to

people. We aren't required to carry them
off duty.

But... Ever since I was a little lad, I
have followed the Boy Scout motto,

be prepared.

Thank you.

Holy,

that's police property. You can't ride
on that. Oh, yes, I can. I'm writing you

a ticket.

You are writing me a ticket?

That's right.

You parked your car in a bus zone when
we got here tonight.

I saw you, so don't try to deny it.

How about that?

He's the Boy Scout, and she's doing the
good turn.

Don't laugh, Tim. This could be pure
disaster.

Oh, I don't see how.

I mean, a little solid concentration
never hurt anybody.

Except Detective Brennan.

If it isn't Detective Brennan, I'm
worried about him.

There you are, Bill. Pay it in good
health. But, Laura, you can't do that.

have absolutely no... Ah, ah, ah. Never
argue with a police officer, Bill. You

told me that yourself.

Ah, one, two.

Three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
nine, ten. What are you doing now?

Oh,

you see that little sign over there?

It says it's illegal for more than 300
persons to occupy the room at the same

time. If they're more than that, we'll
have to give everybody a ticket.

Holy! Even if that were true, it isn't
their responsibility.

Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

Oh, I hope you brought an extra citation
book. We may need it.

You know all the way?

I think she'd do it.

Of course she would.

Her powers of concentration are now
focused exclusively on law enforcement.

And Tim, that is not infrequently a very
dangerous occupation.

Shame on you, Tim. A litterbug.

Oh, well, Mr. Brown, I just got home. I
decided I wanted a piece of gum, and

I... What are you doing?

Writing you a ticket for litterbugging.
It's against the law.

Oh, Mr. Brown, I just... I... I'll pick
it up.

Look, see? There, there it is. I picked
it up, see? Too late.

Now, Mrs. Brown, uh, Mrs. Brown, this
isn't fair. I mean, I work hard all day,

and then I come home, and I certainly
don't expect... What are you doing now?

Writing you another ticket.

Your registration isn't in plain sight.

Well, it certainly is. It's right there
in the steering post.

Yes, but you very negligently let it
slide around so that it is no longer in

plain sight. Now, the law clearly states
that it should be in plain sight at all

times.

There you are.

Now, Mrs. Brown, I think you've carried
this just a little bit too far. I have

no intention of standing here while you
write me... What did I do now?

What are you doing? Why am I getting
another ticket?

You were resisting an arrest by an
officer of the law.

Well, I, uh, I am very terribly sorry,
officer,

and it won't...

It won't happen again.

Well, I should certainly hope not. Why,
you could get in trouble.

May I, uh... May I go now, officer?

Why, of course, Tim. Don't let me stop
you.

Thank you very much.

Yoo -hoo, mister!

You're jaywalking. That's against the
law.

I'm right behind you.

Oh, there you are.

Well, where were you when I got these?

Three tickets. Mrs. Brown gave me three
tickets right out of my own driveway.

Yes, I know.

Laura Lee has been spreading tickets the
length and breadth of Maple Street all

day long.

It's practically a disaster area.

Well, do something.

Don't just stand there.

Do something.

Well, unfortunately, I can't.

The concentration pill is like aspirin
in one respect.

The effects wear off.

Eventually. Eventually.

How eventual is eventually?

Well, in this case, I don't know.

Oh.

Well, that's great.

That is just great.

That is just Jim Dandy.

How long do you think it's going to be
before the cops, and I mean the real

cops, come over here to find out why she
is passing out phony tickets?

Strictly speaking, they aren't phony.
Well, I don't care if they're phony.

Did you say they're not?

They're not phony.

Do you mean that they're real?

Technically, yes.

Anyone can make a citizen's arrest.

In effect, these constitute a citizen's
arrest.

Do you mean I might have to pay these...
But don't worry about it, Tim. Under

the circumstances, I'm sure the judge
will be lenient.

My one big concern is Loralee. I don't
want anything to happen to her.

Well, would you mind...

Being a little concerned about bees?

Suppose the judge decides not to be
lenient. We could be reduced to eating

and hot dogs for the rest of our natural
lives.

How can you be concerned about food at a
time like this?

Laura Lee went out this afternoon and
bought herself a shortwave radio.

Now you are beginning to sound like her.

What do beans and hot dogs have to do
with shortwave radio? She bought the

to monitor police calls.

I'm just afraid that in her present
zealous state, she may answer one of

and become involved in something really
dangerous.

Oh.

If something happened to her, I'd never
forgive myself.

You're just going to bed?

Good night, Tim.

No, come on. It's not good night.

It's good morning.

Morning?

So it is.

I must have dozed off.

What are you doing sitting by the
window?

I was keeping an eye on Laura Lee by
mental telepathy.

She was tuned in on the police calls,
and I was afraid she'd go out on one.

Well, she's probably asleep by now.

No. I'd better check.

Well, I'll go heat the coffee.

Tim.

She's gone. She must have answered one
of the police calls after I fell asleep.

I wish I hadn't gotten up this morning.

But where did she go?

I haven't the vaguest idea.

Well, you're a Martian. You're supposed
to know those things. Tim, even a

Martian can't just pick up information
out of thin air.

Well, you could try, couldn't you?

Of course.

You're absolutely right.

Well, what do they say?

I can try.

It's going to require more concentration
than I expected. I'd better sit down.

What are you trying to do?

As you know, Tim, sound is merely a
physiological sensation received by the

It is caused by a vibrating source and
transmitted as a longitudinal pressure

wave motion through a material medium
such as air.

Oh, sure. Everybody knows that.

Those sound waves are virtually
indestructible.

Now, if I can pinpoint the ones emitted
by the police radio and recall them

through my audio sensory reactor, we may
get a clue as to Loralee's present

whereabouts. Yeah, but Uncle Martin...

Those sound waves are thousands of miles
out in space by now.

Which is precisely why I shall need
absolute quiet.

Now I suggest you go and get dressed. We
may have to leave in a very big hurry.

That's a good idea.

What

was

that?

I overshot the mark a little. That was a
shortwave broadcast of the 1964

Olympics from Tokyo.

If you'll excuse me, I'll zero in on the
police band.

Proceed to the corner of 5th and Oak
Streets on a 415.

Unit 38, code 1, please.

Unit 38, investigate a 459 at 2727
Westport Avenue.

Unit 12.

Attention, Unit 12.

Proceed to nearest call box for QT on
Code 5.

Unit 12, acknowledge.

Code 1.

Attention all units in vicinity of 24th
and Maple Parkway.

24th and Maple Parkway? That's just down
the street. Repeat.

All units in vicinity of 24th and Maple
Parkway.

Officers on scene request assistance.

Armed and dangerous suspect holding off
officers in -house.

Proceed with extreme caution.

Code 6, Charles.

Armed and dangerous.

Hey, do you think Mrs. Brown is there?
I'm sure of it.

That call was for all units in the
vicinity.

And Laura Lee definitely considers
herself an enforcement unit. Oh, yeah. A

one. I'll get my hat and coat.

You're completely surrounded, Carson.

Well,

this must be the place.

I have every right to be here, Bill. I'm
a police officer.

It says so right here on my badge.

Loralee, the first duty of a good police
officer is to obey orders from a

superior. Now, I am ordering you to
leave this area immediately.

What? I don't think that's very nice for
you to say.

Just because you're a lieutenant and I'm
only a deputy, I don't see how that

makes you so superior.

Thoroughly, for my sake, go before the
captain sees you and breaks me down to a

rookie. Don't do that while you're a
fine police officer.

And if he doesn't believe it, you can
show him your plaque.

Think she'll listen to Phyllis Fosdick
there?

I doubt it very much.

Well, maybe we better...

Mr. Martin?

Hey, Mr. Martin!

Hey, wait for me!

Where do you think you're going?

That's what I'm supposed to say to you,
mister.

Huh? Oh, oh, no, I wasn't talking to
you. You see, I'm a reporter for the

Sun. I'm sorry, Laura Lee, I must
insist.

Well, what I can't understand is why you
don't go in there and arrest that man.

He broke the law.

Because he is armed and dangerous.

Oh, pooh.

Bratton! Yes, Captain?

Who is that woman?

Well, she's a friend of mine, Captain. I
would like her to be... Where is she?

She went in that house, you idiot!

Brandon,

come back here! You want to get killed?

Oh, I'll have your badge for this.

You hear me, Brandon? I'll have your
badge for this!

What is it? They both went in the house
with the killer.

Just because I can't be seen doesn't
mean I can't see.

Yeah, but what are you going to do about
it?

Only thing I can do, go in and rescue
them. Wait a minute, I'll go with you.

Uncle Martin?

What are you doing?

Nothing, sir. I was just leaving.

Well, do it.

Yes, sir.

Don't you know there's a dangerous
criminal in this house? Well, it's no

dangerous than if my editor finds out
that I was here and I didn't get a first

-hand account.

Don't you, sir? I'm a friendly reporter.

You're a what?

A cowardly newspaper reporter.

What is this? Next thing, they'll be
sending up a caterer.

I thought it might be interesting for my
readers to find out what it's like to

be trapped, to be fighting for your
life.

You mean you come up here to interview
me while I shoot it out with the cops?

Hey, that might be a pretty good yarn at
that.

You know, I know something about
newspapers.

I was editor of the San Quentin Gazette
for 10 to 20. I got sprung early,

though. You know, the guy they got up
there now wouldn't know a good story

a hot rock.

Well, maybe they'd be glad to give you
your old job back.

Not if I can help it.

Now, get on in there. Keep them hands
up.

All right, over there.

Come on, sit down.

Well, let's see.

What we need is a good, strong lead. You
know, something with drama, with flair.

Oh, yes, sir. Well, how about I spent
the day in a dingy bedroom with a

desperate armed man? No, no, no, no.

Now, that's the one thing I demanded of
my reporters in the pen.

Honesty.

This room ain't dingy.

It's a nice, comfortable, middle -class
place, right?

Right! Well, then, uh...

How about something like, today, I sat
in a desperate bedroom with a dingy

man. That's worse than the first one.

What you need is style and excitement in
your lead.

Supposing we start off with something
like this.

Mr. Carson, I am placing you under
arrest.

Aren't you the clumsy one?

Now, you just lie right there while I
write you out a ticket.

You all right, Loralee? Oh, yes.

I'm just... Oh, dear.

I've forgotten which one of you boys I
wrote this for.

I'll take that. And this, too, if you
don't mind.

Oh, well, maybe you'd better.

I'm just so excited about everything
that's happened. Well, I don't know what

I'm doing.

Oh, dear. Do you suppose your Uncle
Martin has any of those pills left?

Oh, I don't think so, Mrs. Brown. No,
that was the last one, I hope.

I certainly could use one now.

Coming, Loralee.

What?

Did I miss anything?

Did you miss?

What do you mean, did you miss anything?

Well, I was downstairs, and I heard all
this commotion up here, and then I saw

Brennan taking out Carson.

What happened? What happened?

Well, what do you mean, what happened?
Now, you were right here when Carson

flipped over.

Well, you were.

Weren't you?

Was I?

Oh, come on, I don't want to know.
You're putting me on.

Would I do a thing like that to you?

I hope so.

I sincerely hope so.

Hey, Uncle Martin.

Hmm? You have any more of those
concentration pills?

What do you want one of those for?

Well, I'm doing a follow -up on the
Carson story, and... Well, I guess there

just so much excitement, I can't seem to
remember everything.

I have a better idea.

Now, let's see.

What we need is a good, strong lead.
Something with drama and flair, you

Uh, yes, sir. Uh, how about, today, I
sat in a dingy bedroom with a desperate,

armed man who... No, no, no, hold on.

Not so fast.

No, no, no, no.

That's one thing I always demanded of my

reporters in the pen.

Honesty.