All language subtitles for my_favorite_martian_s03e08_bottled_martin

What on earth is that gadget? Or
shouldn't I have said on earth? Ah, good

morning, Tim.

This is my hydrobarometric atmospheric
aerator.

Thanks.

I'm afraid to ask what else is new.

Oh, by the way, Tim, would you mind
terribly not using the shower this

Why, is something wrong with it?

I'm using it as part of my equipment.

You see, my damaged spaceship can't
achieve enough velocity to escape

gravity because I am too heavy.

Oh, well, then all you have to do is
lose weight.

You do understand.

That's great.

How much do you have to take off?

143 pounds and 2 ounces.

143 pounds?

And 2 ounces.

What are you going to do with what's
left?

Stick yourself in the back of a postage
stamp and mail yourself home?

Truthfully I'm going to miss you Tim.

You come up with some of the most
fantastic ideas.

Now, let me get this straight.

All you have to do is step into the
shower, turn it on, and you shrink into

practically nothing.

To approximately four inches, weight
less than six ounces.

All that happens in my shower?

It took a few minor adjustments. I set
it up last night.

And you didn't tell me?

Do you realize that I could have
awakened this morning, marched into that

shower, turned it on, closed the door,
and... Tiny Tim.

I didn't think I should awaken you last
night for such a little thing. That

little thing could have been me.

Even so, no harm would have been done.

You see, within two minutes, the
shrinking action reverses itself in a

cloud of reconstitution to return you to
your normal size.

Uh -huh. A complete nervous wreck.

Two minutes, that's all that thing
lasts?

Is that enough time for your spaceship
to get away from Earth? Not quite.

That's why I'm running a test with this
special gas that will keep me small.

I'm going to reduce myself.

And then I'm going to get into this
bottle. And I want you to cork it

You're going to get into the bottle?

Cork it?

Oh, Uncle Martin, I don't think... Uncle
Martin.

This could be dangerous.

It's perfectly safe.

And if the experiment works, I'll fill
my spaceship with the same gas and stay

micro -sized until Mars.

Then by merely opening the spaceship to
the outside atmosphere, poof, I'll not

only be normal -sized again, but I'll be
home.

All right, now, I'll talk to you as
before, but it'll be telepathic.

Ready? Here we go.

All right, then.

Uncle Martin?

Down here, Tim.

Uncle Martin?

Holy smoke.

Really, Tim? You should have opened the
bottle, then picked me up.

You picked me up out of order.

Now hurry up or you're suddenly going to
have a full -grown me standing on your

head.

All right.

There's something I can do.

Now I'll use a vapor process to get into
the bottle.

not picking up any molecules.

I think it works, Tim.

Oh, well, that's just great.

Now what do I do? Take out the cork or
serve you chill?

That's a good idea.

What's a good idea?

I think I'll cool my heels in here for a
while.

Check for possible unpleasant side
effects.

Oh, that's fine.

Well, I can think of one unpleasant side
effect. My boss when I'm late for work.

Oh, you go to work, Tim.

I'll spend the whole day in here giving
a real test.

like this all day.

Tim, I assure you, if anything should
happen, I'll just levitate the cork out

the bottle and the instant the outer
atmosphere hits me, poof, I'm full

again.

Well... Now, please, take me into the
living room and set me on the table.

I'd like to check the effect of direct
sunlight.

Say, listen, isn't it going to get a
little dull in there? I mean, in a

all day?

Hmm. Now, that's a side effect I hadn't
thought of. For my space flight, I must

remember to reduce some reading matter
along with me. Too late for that now.

Well, you could always get some wood.

Now, what on earth would I do with wood
in here?

You could build a ship.

Go to work, Jim.

Oh, listen, Mrs. Brown's going to come
out and pick up a package here for her

favorite charity.

Okay. See you tonight.

I was thinking at the office today
that...

did you get?

Uncle Martin, your voice sounds like
you're still, well, it sounds like

still in the bottle.

You're still in the bottle.

Uncle Martin, where are you calling
from?

I'm not calling. I'm projecting
electrical impulses from my brain to a

wire. Oh, wait.

Overseas relief package?

Well, why don't you just, you know, open
up the bottle and go poof.

In reducing my size, I seem also to have
reduced my levitating powers.

I'm ready to blow my top. I just can't
pop my cord.

Well, where's the warehouse? I'll come
right down there. I'm afraid it's too

late for that. They're coming now to get
my stack of cartons and load me on a

plane.

A plane?

A plane? What plane?

The Middle East. Where? What part of the
Middle East?

Well, I appreciate this very much. Now,
you say three weeks ago was Korea.

Two weeks ago was Hong Kong. Last week,
Burma.

Fine. Now, where are you mailing your
packages this week?

You're kidding.

Well, thank you very much.

Those Yankees, they should live and be
well for 10 ,000 days.

Every day, they should send me a package
like this one.

Look, wine yet?

Oh, come, my son, it is a day for
feasting.

A day for feasting.

Mama, when I think of my sweet,
beautiful, beloved Najamar and the

I may never eat again.

What? You'll find another girl.

Only be smart.

Next time, don't pick such a beauty.

The sultan shouldn't see her like with
Nadia and take her for his harem.

There won't be a next time, Mama.

I will never love another girl.

If only there was some way to get her
back, but... Maybe this will make me

forget this day.

No, no, no, no. Do not open the wine.

Better a little chicken soup.

If only there was some way.

It will take a miracle.

Ah, at last.

It's good to get out of there.

Thank you.

It is a miracle.

A genie.

Mama, there was a genie in the bottle.

A genie?

I know what thou wouldst have, master.

You know about my beloved Nadja and the
sultan?

He's a genie.

I could not help overhearing your
unhappiness, master.

You are a good man, and you deserve the
woman you love.

For releasing me from my glass prison, I
shall release your Nadja from her

prison of silk.

Halla be praised!

You really are a genie.

Yes, honorable lady, I am.

That's funny you don't look it.

Excuse me. I'm sorry, Uncle Martin. I
haven't got any time.

Uncle Martin, leave me here.

What's with the outfit?

I'm a genie. A what? A genie.

What would you call someone who popped
full grown from a bottle in the land of

the Arabian Nights?

A genie. I was on my way to grant a wish
when I saw you over here window

shopping. To grant a wish?

Uncle Martin, look, let's just get out
of here, huh? I think you're carrying

this genie bit just a little too far.

Ah, I'm afraid the young man who
released me is in dire need of a genie.

And it shouldn't take me too long to get
in and out of the Sultan's harem, so if

you'll just wait here.

Hold it just one second.

Do you mean you're going to go to a
harem where they have all those

Persian girls and leave me here?

That's right. Uncle Martin, I've never
known you to be selfish, so let's go.

It's too dangerous, Tim.

My genie, I thought you had disappeared.

No, no, no, no, no. I've just met an old
master.

Abu, this is Tim O 'Hara.

You wait here, Tim.

Uncle Martin, an eyewitness report from
the inside of a modern harem? Uncle

Martin, this could make my career as a
newspaper man.

Tim, I have strong doubts it's the story
you're after.

Well, why else would a young, red
-blooded American newspaper man want to

the inside of a harem?

All right, fine.

You've got us in the right costumes.
You've got him in a trance. Now, why

you entrance me?

Where's the action?

Well, let's hope we don't see any
action.

That, I believe, is our Middle Eastern
Juliet.

Nadja! Oh, I like the company she keeps.

Quickly now, come on.

Nadja!

Abu!

My Nadja, my poor little Nadja.

Oh, I thought I would never see you
again.

Oh, Nadja, this is my genie. A genie? I
came bottled.

Really, I despise interrupting a good
love scene.

But if you'd like this to have a happy
ending, I suggest a rapid change of

setting. Not only he has great power,
but he's wise, too.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.
What?

Oh, come on, I don't want to be a
killjoy.

I mean, after all, how many times does a
guy get to visit a harem?

You didn't finish your summons and live
to talk about it. Oh, stop it. You sound

like you're afraid of the Sultan.

The Sultan?

I'm afraid of the Sultan.

Go back with the girls.

You two, down behind the bushes.

And don't even breathe. If you're caught
here, you may never breathe again. What

about you?

Me? I'm a genie.

He's a genie.

I hope we're not sitting ducks. Come on,
let's go. Come on!

Roger!

Roger!

Oh, must be a new statue, huh?

Roger!

Oh, come to me, my pretty little bird.

The eagle comes to the dog.

Sounds more like a buzzard. If you don't
keep quiet, there'll be two dead

pigeons.

Here's my genie.

Oh, how ravishing you look in your
lovely bridal gown.

Naturally, you cannot wait until you are
actually my one and only 65th

bride. Well, you lucky little thing, I
shan't deprive you of me any longer.

Come, my love, we will partake of a bit
of...

Three nuptial refreshments, and then the
ceremonies will begin.

Hey, can you see she doesn't love him?
Oh, well, him it doesn't matter. He

himself enough for two.

This is going to be tricky.

To get her away from him without
arousing suspicion.

I am not afraid. I will rescue her with
my bare hands. Oh, no, come on, don't

lose your head. And that's exactly what
he would lose.

No, I'll go inside.

But you two stay here.

Abu, did you hear me?

Yes, my genie.

And Tim, I want you to make sure that he
does.

No matter what, Abu is not to go near
that wedding ceremony.

Yes, my genie. I mean his genie.

Come on.

Remember, not near the wedding.

Now, this shouldn't take too long.

If I'm lucky.

Just staying here and doing nothing, it
would be a terrible ordeal for me.

Yeah, me too.

Come, my little lotus blossom.

Tell me how my eyes are as blue as the
Mediterranean.

What is taking so long?

I'm worried. Well, you know the order.
All we can do is wait.

Thank you.

Listen, I can see why a guy would want
to go into the Sultan business.

Oh, you don't have to do that anymore. I
don't want your hand to get tired so

you'll be able to scratch my back.

My little honey cake, you certainly does
not like your choice of games.

But I will close my eyes and regain my
royal composure.

And then things will be as they should
be.

That was nothing to kick you south and
where he sits.

You know, originally, I was going to do
an expose on the inside of a harem.

Oh, but right now, I can't find anything
wrong with it.

Just another second of this.

Excellency, I did not... Enough!

Nadja, she needs me.

Oh, of course she needs you. Now, every
girl needs a guy that she can... Hey,

Abu, you stay out of there!

Now, listen, girls.

Just don't go away, huh?

Grab her! Grab her!

It is she who has shown you something, I
know.

Out in the street with her, back where
she came from.

Thank you, Your Excellency. Exactly what
I hoped you'd say.

Exactly what I hoped no one would say.

Your Highness, if I could just have a
moment.

So, you dare to trespass in the harem of
the sultan, huh?

But we're just poor rug makers, Your
Excellency. That's right, we're

salesmen. If we just go from door to
door, would you like to see our line?

We'll give you a rug as a gift. Today's
sample day.

Silence!

For daring to trespass in the sultan's
harem, there is only... Only one

punishment. Death.

Death? Haven't you got something a
little less permanent?

No, please, Your Excellency. No.

This is no mere accidental intrusion,
huh?

You would steal my bride.

But we love each other. What?

To love the bride of the Sultan, that is
reason.

For this, you will not even have the
privilege of a last meal.

Off with their heads at once. Hers too.

But do it over there.

Too much beheading spoils my appetite.

All is not lost. I will call my genie.
He will come to our rescue.

Oh, yeah, first he has to come, too.
Genie, save us. I command you, genie.

Genie? What is this?

He calls to a genie?

I suppose you have found the fabled
magic lamp and rubbed it, eh? No.

I pulled the cork out of a bottle.

Yeah, obviously.

And drank, though.

Uncle Martin, it's about time.

Is this another intruder?

I, sir, am Abu's genie.

One word from him and I can turn you
into an elephant.

No, no, that's already been done.

Well, that's very easily explained, Your
Excellency.

While on my way here today, I bumped
into a relative.

Enough of this nonsense.

I don't know what kind of a charlatan
you are, but you too will pay with your

head. Imagine he's no charlatan. Show
him.

Don't be getting to a squirrel.

Very well.

Oh, I'm allergic to squirrels, but there
are other ways of convincing His

Excellency of my magic powers.

For example...

How would His Excellency react to a
booze having a flying carpet?

A miserable peasant with his own flying
carpet?

It is to laugh.

Yes.

As a rug maker, Your Excellency, he
weaves them.

But since we brought none along, I shall
use this rug here before you to

demonstrate my powers.

Pardon.

Pardon.

I'm ready to stop this nonsense.

I have been indulgent until now, but I
have some dancing girls coming in at

o 'clock.

Too much weight.

Well, there's no baggage to throw over.

Oh, yes, there is.

To tell the truth, it is a flying
carpet.

By the beard of the prophet, he was a
genie.

Leaving? But my genie, how can we be
sure the sultan would not interfere with

our lives?

Because whether I am present at your
wedding or not.

He knows who the best man is.

And now I, a poor rogue weaver, must
find a way to provide for a wife.

I will not depend on charity.

You needn't.

You will give His Excellency this
message.

It orders him to appoint you his royal
carpet weaver. And believe me, he'll be

as agreeable as a lamb, which he is
afraid I'll turn him into.

But I don't know how to make a carpet
that flies.

Oh, he will cut off Abu's head when he
sees the carpet does not get off the

ground. Have no fear.

I've informed his highness it takes ten
years to weave such a carpet. I have

also made a psychological analysis of
the state of the mind of the population.

And the sultan will be dethroned in
exactly nine and one half years.

At that time, you will put up a sign.

Formerly rug maker to the sultan.

Oh, thank you, my genie.

You have done so much for us.

We will miss you. Yeah, well, we're
going to miss our plane if we don't

up. You travel by airplane? You do not
use your magic?

Oh, well, I can't use that for myself.

It's against the rules.

You see, we genies have to use public
transportation when we're not on the

I still say...

He doesn't look like a genie.