All language subtitles for my_favorite_martian_s02e31_never_trust_a_naked_martian

What are you doing? Cooking a strudel.

That's nice.

Yeah, well, I have a bet with Mrs. Brown
that I can do it using her cookbook.

Well, if you succeed at strudel, I might
one day teach you how to bake an

Armenian hard cake.

I remember once during the French
Revolution, I was posing as a pastry

the people's arm.

What are you doing?

Cleaning my antennas.

Well, I never saw you do that before.

Just like your Saturday night bath.

In a margin, it only comes around once
every two years.

Boy, that's great.

Mm -hmm.

After a while...

When it dries in, I rub it into a very
high gloss.

No, no, I meant your Saturday night only
coming around once every two years.

You're kidding.

One of the few envies Martians have of
you Earth people is your ability to

as often as you want without fearing
rust.

Rust? Oh, I never thought of that. Oil,
huh?

Tim, Tim, please, please.

Don't touch things you don't understand.

Tim, I just told you. I'm just taking a
peek, Tim. I just told you don't touch

things that you don't understand.

Well, I was just a little curious.

All right.

I think your strudel's burning.

Tim?

Tim?

Where are you, Tim?

That's what I want to know, Uncle
Martin. Where am I?

All right, Tim.

Slowly now.

Tell me exactly what happened.

Well, I, uh... I, uh... Just touched
your antennas.

After I...

not to touch things I don't understand
yet.

Tim, will you make up your mind where
you're going to be? You're confusing me.

Oh, boy, you did it.

You really did it. I mean, you did it. I
did it? I did what did I do?

You burned your strudel.

Oh, now, come on, Uncle Martin. What
kind of a thing is that to say?

Shh, don't holler.

You're liable to slip further away.

Fate is a fickle finger, Tim.

To burn your strudel just happens to be
a Martian expression.

It means going too far out on the limb
to do something so wild it's never been

done before.

I have to think very hard.

You're somewhere out in limbo.

I never heard of it happening to an
Earth person before, and I don't know

bring you back.

Help me. It's cold out here.

I told you, what you've done has never
been done before.

Help me.

Why do you keep doing that?

Figuring. My Martian memory computer.

I'm filing for total recall on
accidental dimension slippage, which is

you've done.

So far, nothing.

There's got to be something.

It's cold out here.

Tim, I might as well tell you.

You're going to have to get used to the
cold.

You're going to have to get used to the
fogginess.

It's going to be a while before I can
bring you back from where you are.

A while?

Why a while?

Where am I?

The fourth dimension.

The... What's that?

And don't holler.

I told you.

You can slip further away.

Who's hollering?

You don't hear me hollering, do you?

Can you just come in here with me and
sort of keep me company while you're

figuring? I mean, it's spooky out here.

No, I cannot join you, Tim.

My antennas put me in a fifth and sixth
dimension.

Not in the simple fourth, which is where
you are.

But why?

I got it from your antenna, didn't I?
You didn't get anything.

You simply charged yourself out of
length, breadth, and width, which is a

world for you where you can't be seen.
It exists, but it can't be seen.

Does it have to be so cold?

Yes, it's a world of limbo, and limbo
has no central heating.

But if you look at yourself, you can
warm you.

Look at myself.

Interesting, isn't it? You're really
neither here nor there.

Everything's clear now, and I feel warm
again.

Self -love. It'll be that way as long as
you're in the mirror.

Now, watch me.

Ah, ah, ah.

There it is.

There's what?

The crack.

I don't see anything. Come away from the
mirror and you can see it.

It's the entranceway from the fourth
dimension.

All right.

Oh, I see it. Wow.

That's awfully small.

It's what you have to come through.

You can do it. I know you can.

Watch me now.

And keep your eye on the crack. And bend
your shoulder like so.

Then add a little body English.

And then... Okay, I'm bent, but... Wow,
that's small.

I know, but don't get nervous.

And try not to...

Push as much as slip.

Sorry. Oh, it's Pepper.

Pepper? Yes, for Tim Strudel. You see,
he borrowed my cookbook. We have a bet

him. Where is he?

Oh, his strudel's burning.

Oh, no, no, no. No, it's not burning. It
was burning, but I turned it off and

just slipped out into the back.

He slipped out into the back. I didn't.
He was looking for some ground herbs.

Ground herbs?

From the ground.

From the strudel.

Ground herbs.

Oh, no, it's the pepper. That's what's
missing.

What was that?

Uh, what was what? Oh, that. That was
the draft, I guess. It was a very drafty

apartment, I guess, because he left the
back door open.

Well, it feels like somebody's pushing
or pulling me. Don't be silly. Who could

be pushing you? It's the draft, I told
you, especially with the front door

There's something pushing Mrs. Brown
like that.

I'm crazy, but do you see how small that
hole is now?

You're right.

It's closing.

Well, hurry, get me out of here.

We may have to grease up the opening.

What? You know, slip you through.

Slip? Or grease you.

What if I run?

What do you mean? Well, you know,
like... Getting a running start and

momentum to carry me through. Couldn't I
do that?

Yes, if you think you can run fast
enough and straight enough. Yeah, well,

rather try it that way than getting all
greased up. Or greasing the crack. It's

sort of... Let's try.

Start on the back porch. Run like crazy
and jump through. I'll try and catch

you. If you come through too strong,
we've got all the way to the front porch

break.

Hey!

You made it! Yeah.

He left the troop. The troop?

The troop.

hit a pressure belt going back in. Well,
it's more like I hit me.

Maybe you're right, you know, the
grease.

Maybe this time we should use it. No,
no, the opening has gotten tighter. Too

tight. If you use the grease, you'll
shoot right out over Mrs. Brown's house

wind up in some stranger's backyard.

Don't argue. It's getting close.

The worst that can happen is a small
head bruise or a shoulder burn. Come on,

hurry!

Okay.

Now do it speedy, Tim. Run like mad.

they shouldn't leave the front door
open.

Oh, Martin, this is Mr. Dinkle.

Mr. Dinkle's one of the carpenters who
helped build this house.

And I told her if anything ever goes
wrong, just to give Dinkle a jingle.

Well, would you excuse me just a minute,
please? I think it might be a good idea

if you'd come back some other time. No,
no, I came here to do a job, and while

I'm here, I'm going to do it.

You must keep that door closed so I can
check for a hidden draft.

Oh, Mr. Dinkle's a very nice man and
very conscientious, and he'd feel awful

his work wasn't grade A tip -top. Well,
I have no complaints.

Oh, yes, you do. You said it was drafty
in here. Now, don't you remember? You

said it was drafty in here. All sealed
tight in there.

Now we'll try the kitchen.

Which way is the kitchen?

There. Oh, thank you.

He's from the old school.

A job not well done is not a job done at
all.

Oh, nothing.

Just a little rheumatic pain.

Aha, you see, there is a draft.

Now, why should a young man like you
have muscular aches and pains?

Oh, Mr. Dinkle, how are you doing?

Just fine.

Tim, I'm here by the kitchen door.

Make a run for it. I can't. He's just
closed the back. door, and it's not a

enough distance for a good run.

Take as much room as you can and dash.

Worst that can happen is that we'll both
go over that porch together.

Now, it'll only be up for a few weeks
now. Come on.

Oh, uh, rheumatism.

Mr. Baker wants the front door closed.

He has the back door closed, and that's
the only way he can check for drafts.

And besides, it's bad for your
rheumatism, you poor thing.

What was that?

even want to guess.

Oh, look at that lovely new portrait you
have of Tim.

It's so lifelike.

When did you get it?

Oh, it came in the mail from when last
summer Tim was at Playland.

Oh.

Why did he have it taken with two black
eyes?

Oh, it's a joke. It's one of those joke
pictures, you know, like they take at

Playland. Oh, yes.

I have one with my head. on the body of
a big fat lady in a bathing suit.

Oh, I just love Playlands.

I especially love that house with the
crazy mirrors.

Uncle Martin, the opening closed. I
mean, I saw it closing and I ran for it

it... I know.

I heard the thunk.

Well, look, get a crowbar or a picker. I
mean, something, but you gotta open it

up for me. It doesn't work that way.
Hey, Uncle Martin.

Listen to me. I can't stay out here
forever.

Well, maybe I can find a way to get you
some warm clothes.

Get me what?

You think I'm just going to stay out
here and be a floating head?

Well, we can get you a larger and a
longer mirror.

The Mad Hatter. Do you see a Mad Hatter,
Tim? A Mad Hatter? Tim, you're Alice in

Wonderland. You may be stuck out there
forever. I'm sorry.

I mean, I'm sorry.

Nothing. The opening's gone.

It can't be gone.

I mean, if it's gone, what happens if I
cry?

What do you mean?

I mean, does something spooky happen?

Like, do I make a flood? I've never been
in limbo before.

I really think I'm going to cry.

Tim, will you stop being silly?

Silly? What's so silly about seeing a
grown young man cry?

Stay frozen in there forever, Tim.

And Mrs. Brown has seen you.

I'm going to have to move you.

I'll hide this in our closet, Tim. That
at least solves the problem of you

having to stay there.

Uncle Martin, I'm cold again.

Take it easy, Tim.

This isn't easy to figure.

Oh, Martin.

Where are you going with Tim's picture?

Oh, nowhere.

The closet. I wanted to see how it would
look hanging in there.

In the closet?

And where's Tim?

I know you said he went out for herbs,
but he's been gone an awfully long time.

But this is a mirror.

Where's Tim's picture?

Oh, it's not really. It's one of those
trick pictures, you know, where you have

to stand a little bit away to see.

Oh, really?

Oh, there he is.

see it.

It's fascinating.

Oh, and do the eyes follow me like on
those pictures?

I'll take him in the bedroom.

Oh, good. That's nicer than hanging him
in the closet.

Oh, I'm going downstairs to get some
oregano.

Oregano? Yes.

Tim's wasting his time looking for
ground herbs. It's oregano that he

I'll surprise him and have his strudel
all done by the time he gets back.

Oregano?

Cold. No, over here.

I just got an idea, Tim.

Oregano. Chief Oregano on our African
Mars.

I don't know what you're talking about,
but I'm... I'm freezing.

Sophia Loren.

Huh? Think of Sophia Loren.

Images. That should keep you warm.

Sophia Loren.

Sophia Loren.

Does that stove have to be on?

Mrs. Brown turned it on. I think it's
too hot. Well, if she turned it on, we

better leave it on. You don't happen to
have a carpenter's level that I could

borrow, do you? Oh, sure.

What for?

Well, since you're here, I thought I
might take advantage and check the

floorboards in the living room. On our
level?

I'll check it. Oh, I don't want you to
bother.

It's probably all in my mind, and you
haven't finished in here yet. And if

not in my mind, if it's in the floor,
I'll call you.

Okay.

What's that stove?

It always works that way, especially
with strudel. It gets very hot.

Whatever you do, don't touch it. Oh, I
won't.

I don't like strudel.

do doing? You're in limbo. You can dance
your way out.

I remember an old African Martian trick.
I saw it only once.

A variation on your Earth limbo dance.

But on Mars, we can really get into
limbo and out of it.

But first, I'll need a broom with a long
handle.

Soak your lawn.

Soak your lawn.

That's smoke.

What smoke?

That's smoke.

Don't you think it's a little too smoky
in here? Nonsense. It's good for the

strudel. Yeah, but I'm trying to check
for hidden drafts, and I have to keep

doors and windows closed.

Well, then open them up. That's why it's
smoky in here.

Couldn't we shut down the stove just a
little? Once you start a strudel, you're

committed. It's like an atomic
countdown.

Two -fifty, three -fifty, four -fifty,
five -fifty, zero. That's strudel for

you. Not for me.

I'm a smoked oyster, man.

are you?

Shh. I'm trying to remember what that
marvelous old Watusi chief did. What?

Well, where'd it go?

The broom?

In limbo with you.

Huh?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I can see it now. Good. Now you
have to dance under it.

But it's on fire.

That's good comes easy. You said you
were cold.

Get hot.

I'm turning off that stove.

I don't care what happens to that
strudel.

I'm opening that door and letting the
smoke clear out of there.

Opening the back door.

Hurry, Tim. Get with it.

Simba. Yeah, get with it.

Hey, that broom is flaming higher.

I know, the draft.

The back door, I told you, was a bad
break. Simba, Simba, start dancing.

Simba, Simba, Simba.

Simba, you, follow the rhythm. Undulate,
just let your feet be your guide and

dance under the flames. Get hot. Simba,
Simba. Simba, Simba.

I'm getting ready for the strudel.

Strudel? Banging on the pot helps the
strudel? I'm warming it up.

There's Tim.

Help me.

Pardon me.

Does he always come upstairs that way?
Well, you see, Tim is thinking of

a mountain climbing group, and I told
him to come upstairs like this in order

strengthen his legs.

Hi.

Oh, you've been to Playland again.

I thought you said he was shopping for
grounders.

He was.

Well, then why does he have black eyes?

Fighting in the market where he's been
shopping for ground herbs.

Oh, well, I could have told you that
ground herbs were wrong. What you need

oregano.

I'm sorry.

I turned off the strudel.

Strudel? But you can't. Now, wait a
minute. If you want me to work you in

Wow, was that broom hot.

It's good. Popped you through so fast
they didn't see a thing. You got away

it. Yeah, but I almost cooked.

What heat?

Why, I was just, like, going through.

Well, I almost cooked.

That's funny.

Mrs. Brown's been seasoning the wrong
man.

Forgive me, Tim. It's my sense of humor.

It's quite funny on Mars.

How are you, Tim?

I'm fine.

My eyes cleared up and the ringing
stopped in my ears.

It's pressure.

Hey, what you went through is not unlike
divers coming up from the bottom of the

sea.

What are you doing?

I'm making a strudel.

It's about time.

After all this talk about strudels, I
thought I'd try my hand. No more for me,

thanks. I've had it.

Oh, has Mrs. Brown said anything more
about my picture? The one with the black

eyes? Well, I think she went down to
Playland to see if she could bring one

with her. You know, it's a funny thing
about strudel. It's an inner form of

expression. A tremendous release of
tension anxieties.

I understand, Tim, and you're welcome.
Well, I mean, there I was, and there you

were with that Simba Simba thing, and,
you know, I guess I was really truly the

first Earth person to ever be right into
a limbo. Well, as long as you learn,

Tim. If nothing else, let my experiences
down here be the education of a young

man. And in this instance, it's wise
never to touch things impulsively.

I had them suspended in parallel.

Well, uh, can't you just, um, back on
the shelves?

No, Tim.

Martians are not omnipotent.

Only a chicken can do that.

Thank you.