All language subtitles for my_favorite_martian_s02e21_humbug_mrs_brown

Anyway, I said it to her in words of one
syllable.

Look, I said, Mrs. Brown, all of the
stuff that's in the closets that we've

through that I'm going to contribute to
the roaming sale, you will find on the

couch in the living room. Now, how could
she possibly misunderstand that? And

you overlooked one small but vital
detail.

For all her many good qualities, Loralee
has a mind that absorbs information

like a dry sponge.

Well, she had no trouble absorbing our
nice new clothes out of the closet.

This is my brand new sport coat. $59 .95
at the Elite Men's Shop last month.

Here's my favorite slacks. And there is
my most expensive and good sweater. I'm

afraid you're right, Tim.

We're going to have to do something that
will curb Laura Lee's impulsive

generosity.

$25, $26, $27, $28, $29.

$29. 29.

29.

Oh, Martin, am I glad to see you. Oh,
Tim, I can use you, too. Yeah, Mrs.

I am only very serious, but I'd like...
Hold up your hands. Hold up my hands.

You're silly.

Hold up your fingers.

29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38,
39. I need three more. Three more. Three

more. 39, 40, 41, 42.

42.

Wouldn't it be easier if Mrs. Brown just
grew some more fingers?

Incredible.

Appalling.

What's incredible?

Tim, have you paid me the rent for this
month?

Oh, uh... Well, I've been meaning to
speak to you about that, Mrs. Brown.

You see, I came up a little short this
month. Oh, well, that's perfectly all

right, Tim. I just couldn't remember
whether you'd paid me or not.

Well, we'll come back later, Laura Lee,
unless you have further need of our

fingers. Oh, no.

I think I can manage with the ones I
have, thank you.

Bye. Good night, Laura Lee.

That woman has absolutely no conception
of balanced economy.

Too generous, lending money, not
collecting rent. The question is, do I

moral right to interfere?

Well, yes, I'd say so if... I could do
it with the noodle soup.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. Loralee always
invites me to lunch on Wednesday and

invariably makes a large kettle of
noodle soup.

Oh, well, then there's your answer right
there.

All you use is noodle soup.

Oh, hello, Martin. Lunch is almost
ready.

Ah, well, I like mine a little more well
done, Laura Lee.

Oh, no, silly. This is for Hobart.

Oh, you -hoo!

Hobart, time for lunch, sweetheart.

Now, remember your manners, Hobart.
Don't bolt your food.

Isn't that rather extravagant, Laura
Lee, feeding prime beefsteak to a dog

doesn't even belong to you?

Well, what else would I do with it? It's
too expensive for me to eat.

What did you say?

I am not jealous because you're eating
steak and I'm having noodle soup.

Enjoy it while you can. It may be the
last steak you'll get from Laura Lee.

Descending to your intellectual level, I
can only say, sticks and stones may

break my bones, but names will never
hurt me.

Well,

of course I had to send him the money.
After all, he is my first cousin by

marriage on my aunt's side of the
family.

I realize it's none of my business,
Laura Lee, but it seems to me your

takes undue advantage of your generous
nature.

Oh, no, they don't, Martin. I never send
any of them one single cent until they

come right out and ask for it.

What are you doing?

Oh, I just had the most marvelous idea,
Martin. I can save all these noodles and

use them again the next time.

You know the old saying, waste not, want
not.

She has got a gun. She's got a shotgun.
It's a two -barrel.

Huge. I know. I know.

How perceptive I was that day, I said to
Bobby Burns.

The best laid schemes, oh, mice and
Martians, gang off a glide.

A bully for Bobby Burns. But what is
that?

Mice and Martians?

I gave him permission to alter it for
local consumption.

That was very nice of you.

Now, would you mind telling me, what is
Mrs. Brown doing downstairs with a

shotgun?

She's guarding her life savings. She no
longer trusts the bank.

What did you do with the noodle soup?

Well, there was a, what you might call,
slight overcompensation.

How slight?

Well, there again, you might say it's
like a question of relativity.

Like, how high is up?

Uncle Martin.

Laura Lee has become an absolute and
unmitigated Scrooge.

There's no need for undue alarm, Tim.

I've already taken steps to correct the
situation.

I've invited her for dinner this
evening.

I'll simply reverse the process by again
using the same subliminal agent.

Noodles. Noodles.

However, I am more worried about her
having all that money in the house.

If anything happened to it, I'd never
forgive myself.

Uh -uh.

What's the matter?

Cat burglar invades Westside.

An elusive cat burglar has successfully
looted seven homes in the Westside area

of more than $20 ,000 in cash, furs, and
jewelry in the past week.

Uncle Martin, you have a problem. So
I'll tell you what.

You worry about the cat burglar.

I'll worry about the noodles.

I was invited.

Why don't you come in, Mrs. Brown?

Let me take that for a minute.

I wish you hadn't done that, Tim.

I wish I hadn't either, Mrs. Brown.

All the money I have in the world is in
that bag.

You know, you can't trust anybody with
money these days.

Uncle Biden?

Company?

Good evening, Laura Lee.

How chic you look tonight.

Oh, thank you, Martin.

It's just an old thing I've had hanging
in the closet for years.

I've hardly worn it at all, and I
thought it was about time I got some

of it.

An excellent idea.

At any rate, dinner is served at the
moment. May I? Oh, thank you.

Mmm, noodle soup.

Yes, I found a new recipe.

Martin, you shouldn't have gone to all
that expense.

Well, I could have rented you my noodles
very cheap.

Perhaps next time.

I think I'll just save the rest of mine
for later.

Don't worry. It'll get cold.

Oh, no.

Not in this it won't.

You know the old saying.

and I've got enough in my Bowser bag for
lunch tomorrow.

Well, good night, boys.

Sorry you had to eat and run.

Eat and... Uh, Mrs.

Brown, you're leaving.

We're not.

Oh, on the contrary, Tim.

You haven't paid the rent, and I have a
very firm rule with all my tenants.

If anyone is more than one week in
arrears, out they go.

I'm afraid there's nothing I can do,
Tim. She's within her rights.

Good night, boys.

I'm awfully sorry, Martin.

Tim, I, uh... Well, I know this is a...
terrible thing to do to my dearest

friends, but... Well, I just can't seem
to help myself.

Our first concern must be Loralee. We've
got to protect her from herself.

Yeah.

But who's going to protect us from
herself?

If you must know, I'm testing for
inimical brainwave transmission.

Well, I don't know whether I can
simplify it enough for your meager

understanding, but I'll try.

Now, Laura Lee has a great deal of money
in her house.

There is reportedly a cat burglar
operating in the neighborhood.

By emitting certain reflective signals
from my brain, I can detect other

brainwaves and identify them as friendly
or unfriendly.

Now... will you kindly get lost?

You're interfering with my transmission.

Oh, for the love of Pluto's pups, don't
be so sensitive.

I never said I didn't like you.

Well, I did say that, yes.

I don't approve of freeloaders, shaggy
or otherwise.

Now, if the shoe fits...

You wear it, pal.

What's

going

on? A policeman is patrolling the
neighborhood. Under the circumstances, I

think it would be wise to get involved
in any lengthy explanations of why we're

taking the night air at 3 a .m.

Whatever you say.

Anyone know where I can find an all
-night laundry?

O 'Hara?

Do you realize you're not only being
unfair to the taxpayers of this city,

you're keeping us up all night?

I don't keep... Jackie Smith is here.
Hello.

Find out what's wrong with her. You stay
put.

Hobart?

Uncle Martin?

I thought you... You couldn't stand the
sight of each other.

I had to eat humble pie, Tim.

I forgot the old Martian axiom.

Never willfully make an enemy.

You never know when you may need him for
a friend.

Or in this case, for a witness.

Hobart is the only one who got a good,
close look at the cat burglar. Oh.

What are you doing here? I want to take
a good look at the police mug.

Your friend and benefactor, Detective
Smithers, is about to return.

Hold it just one second. What do I do
about him?

Well, I can't make him disappear, too.
You'll have to keep Detective Smithers

occupied.

No more phone calls.

I've decided to tell the whole story,
Detective Smithers. Oh, good, good, very

good. Maybe get this wrapped up in time
for lunch. Well, you see, it all started

when I was a child. Oh, yes.

There was this apple tree in our
neighbor's yard.

And some of the branches hung over into
our yard.

Well, naturally, some of the apples fell
on our side of the fence.

Oh, yes.

Yes, that's when it all began.

You see, I ate the apples that fell on
our side of the yard.

And before I knew it, I was hooked.

I became an apple addict.

And I had to have more.

And more.

And more.

And let it happen.

And what happened?

What happened?

Where did this mutt come from?

I thought it was a police dog.

Let's get out of here. You're lousing up
my schedule.

Hobart says no question. No question
about it. Positive identification.

Now all we have to do is to invite him
to lunch here.

Lunch here at the police station?

Mm -hmm. Oh, no, don't tell me. I can
guess. I have to order noodle soup,

Three bowls full.

Three?

Insist on it. It's your right as a
taxpayer.

Harry, you better talk. You're going to
waste some more time.

Uh, uh, no, sir. I am, uh, I'm willing
to confess right after lunch.

Yeah, well, I confess better on a full
stomach.

Calling car 12.

Car 12, code 17.

Proceed to 2727 Carlocks Drive. Assist
officer.

Car 28, car 28, code 4.

Proceed to 2040 North Genesee. Bring
suspect to station for routine

Report to Detective A .J. Smithers,
burglary detail.

Suspect is known as Henry Kipling Black,
alias...

Mrs. Brown?

Oh, about the burglary.

You want me to come down to the police
station now?

Well, I suppose I could, except it's
almost lunchtime.

Oh, you'll finish the lunch.

Free?

Oh, well, in that case, I'll be right
down.

I asked for noodle soup.

And I told you they didn't have noodle
soup.

But, uh...

Clam chowder?

I've already got you pegged as a time
waster. Do I have to put you down as a

troublemaker?

No, sir. You don't understand.

It doesn't work with clam chowder. O
'Hara, you demanded three bowls of soup.

And you got three bowls of soup.

One, two, and three. Now eat and
confess.

All right, all right. Come on now.

Get in there. All right, leave. Go on.
All right.

Here's that guy Smitty you wanted picked
up, Henry Kipling Black.

What'd I do? What'd I do?

What, what, what?

I never done nothing. What'd I do?

I'll tell you what you did. You stole
Mrs. Brown's life savings. That's what

did. Oh, me?

Yeah. Mrs. Brown says you invite her to
lunch. Wait a minute. I didn't order

anybody picked up, and I didn't invite
anybody for lunch. What are you talking

about?

That's Tim's Uncle Martin. He's the
other crook.

Hello, Martin.

Good afternoon, Laura Lee.

You are Martin O 'Hara?

That is correct. I understand you have
an all -points bulletin out for my

apprehension. Oh, you can bet your sweet
potato whistle I do.

Put the cuffs on that character and let
me find out what's going on here.

What about my free lunch?

This is a police station, not a free
lunch counter.

What? You don't expect me to pay for it.
I went to considerable expense to come

down here to get it for nothing.

Excuse me.

Gentlemen.

What are you two clowns trying to do?
Spoil the image?

You see, Smitty, I don't know what
happened.

The head comes out and all of a sudden
me and Fred were put together.

Oh, thank you, Martin.

That's not noodle soup.

That's clam chowder.

I know. I was standing just outside the
door when they delivered it.

Here.

Thanks, mister.

I ain't...

As

long as I ain't going anywheres anyway.

I call using the old noodle.

Allow me to congratulate you, Tim, on an
excellent story about the cat burglar's

confessing. Well, thank you, Uncle
Martin.

Hey, how about that?

Byline and everything.

Hey, listen, we better hurry, huh? We
don't want to keep Mrs. Brown on my date

waiting. Oh, quite sure.

You know, it'll be a pleasure to dine
with Laura Lee again, especially now

she's her old self.

Oh, Uncle Martin, by the way, about my
date tonight.

Well, lately she's been sort of, um,
distant, you see. So I thought maybe

tonight you might rearrange your noodles
for me.

Oh, of course, Tim. I shall be
delighted.

You're just a great guy.

You realize, of course, that if the
scheme should go agly this time, that

could end up married.

Right? Married.

Uh, Uncle Martin, uh, forget...

Forget the noodles.