All language subtitles for my_favorite_martian_s02e17_gesundheit_uncle_martin

Now, let's see you get out of that. And
if you can, you are Houdini.

Checkmate.

Tim, do you realize that you have fallen
for that same trap 27 times now? Well,

that's just great.

Not only do you beat me, you also keep
box score.

Well, I think I will go drown my human
frailties in a glass of chocolate milk.

Good morning, Martin.

I wonder if you'd do me a favor.

Dear lady, if there is a loose,
monstrous, fire -breathing dragon you

slay, I'll get right into my shining
arm.

Well, maybe some other time, but right
now I wonder if you could just fix my

television set.

Every time I turn it on, I get nothing
but sleet. I believe the term is snow.

Well, sleet or snow, it has no business
on a set in California.

Would you have time to fix it now?

Certainly.

Gesundheit. Thank you.

Well, aren't you coming?

Coming?

Where? Downstairs to fix my TV set.

Why? Is there something wrong with it?

Oh, Martin, you're such a tease.

Tim, stop playing those childish pranks.

He's practicing a magic act for his
office party.

Oh, Tim, I'll simply burst with
curiosity if you don't tell me how it's

Oh, yeah, well, ask him. It's his trick.

I hate to take the mystery out of it,
Laura Lee, but actually they're

from the ceiling by an invisible thread.

Doggone.

Now, Tim, we can trust Laura Lee to keep
a secret.

I'm sure she wouldn't want us expelled
from the amateur magician society.

Mum's the word.

Coming, Martin?

You go ahead. I'll be right down.

Uncle Martin, why can't you just eat
grapes out of your hand like everybody

does? How could you have pulled such a
goof?

Must you use colloquialisms?

I prefer to think of it as a momentary
aberration of the kinetocephalic

processes that resulted in an
unfortunate manifestation.

Oh, like I said, a goof.

Fortunately, there's no damage done.

Laura Lee fell for our little fable,
Hook, Line, and Invisible Thread. And

liable to mention it to her snoopy
detective friend, Brennan, and he's

not to be as gullible as she is.

She's not going to mention it to him or
anyone else. I'll erase the entire

episode from her memory.

I don't like to use my electromagnetic
brain -clearing machine promiscuously.

But discretion is the better part of
valor.

Well, that's not the brain eraser you
used before.

Well, it's an all -transistor pocket
-sized model that I've developed.

I'm quite proud of it.

Don't point that thing at me. I have a
few warm, star -studded memories that I

would like to keep.

that's becoming much more intricate. It
took me almost two and a half minutes to

fix it. Of course, I did lose 30 seconds
while the tubes were on. Did you erase

the grape paper from her mind? I'm proud
of my marksmanship.

Laura Lee kept moving around so much I
had to ricochet the electronic beam off

the wall.

A perfect carom shot.

You're going to think this is silly, but
I left my brain -clearing device

downstairs. Oh, I wouldn't say silly is
the word.

How about suicidal or catastrophic?

Or by the time you think of another
synonym, I'll be back.

No, just where I left.

What'd I tell you? It was right where I
left it. Right on top of Mrs. Brown's TV

set. Uncle Martin, you're going to put
gray hairs in my Bonnie Brown thatch.

By the way, what happened to your
toolbox?

Oh, Gesundheit.

Don't tell me you left your toolbox
downstairs.

Did I have it with me? Oh, no. With all
those weird tools in it. It's got

doohickeys that turn screws from across
the room and thingamajigs that

disintegrate metal and gizmos that...
Jim, you don't have to finish the

inventory or remind me of the gravity of
the situation.

I'll be right back. Oh, no, no. You're
not going anywhere without me. I know

you're a little too old for a
babysitter, so I will just go along as

Tim,

I assure you, my mind is as clear as a
bell. Uh -huh.

Oh, Tim.

Martin, are you here again?

Achoo!

Gesundheit.

Well, Mrs. Brown, I'm sure your set will
work fine now.

Goodbye.

She's been kidding around like that all
day, Mrs. Brown. Uncle Martin, I'm sure

that Mrs. Brown doesn't have time to
listen to you rehearse your absent

professor bit that you're going to do at
the office party.

What office party?

She's been kidding around like that all
day long. You see, I'm afraid he's

taking his role so seriously that he
forgot and left his toolbox down here.

Well, as a matter of fact, he did.

It's right on top of the TV. Come on in.

Brennan just dropped by. I was going to
ask him to bring it up to you. Well, if

it isn't the Wizard of Menlo Park and
his caddy.

Forgive me for peeking, but I've always
wanted to see what kind of tools a

genius worked with.

I'll take that if you don't mind.

Now, here's an interesting piece of
equipment.

Built any good cyclotrons with it
lately?

You're using it the wrong way, old man.

It happens to be a left -handed
screwdriver.

Come on, Uncle Martin. Let's not waste
time on an amateur.

Uncle Martin, we have to find out what
is causing this absent -mindedness.

Because if we don't, you are bound to
give yourself away.

Tim, I'm quite as worried about it as
you are.

If this keeps up, I might as well take
out an ad saying, I'm a Martian.

Gesundheit. If you do, don't forget my
newspaper, because there's a blonde down

in Classified I'm trying to impress.

think I've got something. Only I'm not
quite sure what I've got. Now look,

time you have a lapse of memory, it's
come right after you sneezed.

But it can't be.

It isn't due for three months yet. What
isn't? Let's see.

N squared to the omicron power over beta
times 365 days a year.

How could I have been so careless?

Last time I calculated, I forgot to take
into account your Earth leap years.

That explains everything.

It certainly does.

Now, if you'll just let me know what
we're talking about.

The reason for my absent -mindedness.

Today is Sneezophobia Day, the beginning
of the Sneezophobia Week.

Sneezophobia Day?

Sneezophobia Week? Yeah, yeah. It's a
period on Mars very similar to your hay

fever season, except that it only occurs
once every 300 years, when Alpha

Centauri is in juxtaposition to
Cassiopeia.

But I don't get it.

What does sneezing have to do with
forgetting?

Ordinarily, nothing.

But during the sneezophobic season, each
respiratory spasm creates a drain on

the memory bank, which results in a
temporary lapse of recall.

Say, that sneezophobia is nothing to
sneeze at.

Well, let's not get panicky. Look, you
climb into bed and stay there till

out of danger. Now, we'll seal off the
door, we'll disconnect the phone. That

won't be necessary.

Fortunately, there's a simple remedy
that Mother used to give us every time

Alpha came within a thousand light years
of Cass.

Let's see.

She used to take some baking soda and a
pinch of mustard.

Are you sure that this stuff will cure
you?

Positive. As a matter of fact, Mother
once thought of putting it on the

But it didn't seem worthwhile for a
disease that came only once every 300

Now, let's see. That seemed to be one
other ingredient.

What? I recall it was something rare.
Mother used to get it at a chemist's

Let's see, what was it? It was... Oh,
yes.

Oh, yes, I just thought of it. It was...
Gesundheit.

Well, what was it?

What was what?

Oh, Tim.

That sneeze blew it right out of my
head.

Here's the diary of my stay on Earth and
the log of my trip from Mars. Oh, good.

Well, I'll help you pack all this stuff
into your spaceship.

And then we can stash all of this
Martian stuff until you get over

is you've got.

Hello?

Oh, come on, Mr. Burns. It's my day off.

Oh, well, since you put it that way, how
can I refuse?

Yes, don't worry. I'll be there when
this plane arrives.

Bye -bye.

Someday, he's going to put it that way
once too often, and then I'm going to

give him two weeks' notice. An
assignment?

Mm -hmm.

It's some political big shot passing
through town just long enough to

the smog with a cigar smoke.

Well, he drops a few clichés about
honesty in government.

Look, you sit tight, and I'll be back as
soon as I can. Tim, now that I know

what's wrong with me, I'm perfectly
capable of hiding these things myself.

Mm -hmm.

But suppose you sneeze and then forget
where you hid them. I assure you that

won't happen.

But if it'll make you feel better...
I'll take along a clothespin to clamp on

nose if I feel a sneeze coming on.

You do seem to be much better now.

All right, I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll grab a bus and you take the car.

Oh, yeah.

What's that?

This is your name in a dress, just in
case you have a lapse and forget who you

are.

For some reason or another, I have grown
accustomed to your face.

Everybody in the neighborhood a
headache.

What are you doing in there, anyway?

Oh, well, I was making a hobby horse for
one of the children down the block.

A hobby horse, huh? Say, I've always
wondered how you get those rockers to

on.

I'm going to sue you.

noises coming from the garage.

You know, it was like somebody was
banging and sawing wood.

Oh, well, maybe the termites have gone
in for automation.

Oh, well.

Say, Tres Charmant, big evening.

Thank you.

Yes, I'm going over to Mr. Brennan's
house for cocktails, and then he's

me out for dinner.

Oh, bon appetit. That blows my French.

Oh, Tim, I wonder if you'd know.

Mr. Brennan and I were having an
argument about who wrote a poem that

Once upon a something something, as I
pondered, something something.

Yeah, well, I don't think that Edgar
Allan Poe exactly expressed it that way,

but you're close.

Edgar Allan Poe, that's exactly what I
said.

Oh, Tim, may I borrow it? No.

Oh, come on.

Oh, well, Mr. Brennan would be surprised
to find out I know something.

Uncle Martin, where have you been?

Oh, I came back hours ago, and I went
out for a walk. Well, thank goodness. I

was about to call the Bureau of Missing
Martians. Now, you didn't have any

trouble? None at all. Just one little
sneeze that made me forget who I was and

where I lived. Your identification tag
came in very handy.

Now, about hiding your spaceship and all
that stuff, have you got anything to

report? You're not very subtle. I see
you think I don't remember where I hid

them. Well, I do. I hid them most
securely in... Oh, no.

I hid them most securely in...

Oh, tamper.

I've forgotten where I did hide them.
You couldn't. Now, now, now, keep calm.

anticipated something like this might
happen.

So I took the precaution of making a
memo with my special effects on it and

precise location where I hid them. Uh
-huh. And now you can't remember where

hid the memo. Not at all. It's in a book
right on that shelf. Uh -huh.

Uncle Martin, which book?

The Selected Poetry and Prose of Edgar
Allan Poe.

Where is it?

I think maybe you had better sit down.

No, on second thought, I think we'd both
better sit down.

How could you give a book with the
location of my spaceship

in it to Detective Brennan? I didn't
give it to Detective Brennan. I gave it

Mrs. Brown, and she is giving it to him.
Well, there may be a philosophic

distinction, but the effect is just as
grim. If he finds out I'm a Martian,

be a... Cooked goose.

Your choice of words is inelegant, but
depressingly graphic.

Even under the impression that I'm a
fellow human, he doesn't exactly worship

the ground I walk on. Well, come on,
Uncle Martin, let's not give up so

Look, if you could just remember where
you hid your spaceship, we could move it

before Brennan gets to it. How about the
sneezophobia antidote? You still can't

remember the missing ingredient?

Come on.

Come on, Uncle Martin.

You can do it.

to come back to me.

The ingredient is...

Achoo!

You've forgotten.

Forgotten what?

I'm afraid I have.

Uncle Martin, you've got to do
something. Mrs. Brown could be down

a noose around your neck right now.

Did you say she was meeting him at his
house for cocktails?

Yes, why?

They say two's company and three's a
crowd.

But I've never heard anybody mention
anything about four.

Care for another canopy, Loralee? Now,
Mr. Brennan, if you think you're going

get out of buying me dinner... Oh, oh,
Mr. Brennan.

Bill. Oh, Bill.

Do you remember the poem we were talking
about the other night? You know, the

one that starts, uh, once upon a, uh,
something, something... Oh, of course.

Percy Bysshe Shelley.

Uh, uh, uh, Edgar Allan Poe.

Are you sure?

I know.

It's somewhere in this book.

He's got the book. We've got to do
something fast.

I've got it all figured out. I'll make
myself invisible, stroll into the living

room, and voila.

What are you talking?

Oh, just one thing.

I seem to have forgotten the technique
of making oneself invisible.

Oh, you're kidding.

It's easy. Look, all you have to do is
this. Raise your antennas like this.

Am I invisible?

Brace yourself.

No. Why don't you put those things back
in your sockets? Looks like two pieces

of soggy spaghetti.

Look, why don't we just try something
simple?

You could levitate the book out.

You do remember how to do that, don't
you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Watch it, will you? All right, you've
got the speed.

I must see exercisable control.

Martin, can't you find a better place to
read than in Brennan's garage?

It'll just take a second.

Shoot!

Tim, I know this is written in Martian,
but I seem to have forgotten how to read

Martian. Oh, that's just great.

Now, what else can you forget?

Nothing, but I just remembered something
I wish I could forget.

I'm afraid I left the anti -gravitator
on in my spaceship.

In exactly three minutes, it will build
up enough thermal energy to lift the

ship and all its contents straight up
into the air.

Well... That's all we need. An
unidentified flying object messing up

all the Air Force radar screens.

I shudder to think what would happen if
they shoot it down and find my diary.

Unfortunately, I wrote that in English
with my name and address in it. Well,

let's not give up. We've still got a few
minutes. Come on, concentrate.

Now, where did you hide the things?

It's no use.

Now I can't even remember packing them
or what I packed them in.

Well, we might as well go home and worry
in comfort. It's getting sort of damp

in here.

Tim.

Water.

H2O, that's it. What?

Are you, uh, you sure you're not
cracking up? What's what? The missing

ingredient in Mother's formula.

Why, it can't be. You said it was
something rare that your mother bought

chemist shop.

Tim, water is rare on Mars.

People have been known to pay a thousand
umlauts for half a gilko, which, as you

know, is hardly enough to fill an
eyedropper.

You'll never believe where my spaceship
is.

Right here in Detective Brennan's
garage.

Oh, now come on. Why would you hide it
here of all places?

Remember Edgar Allan Poe's purloined
letter?

Well, vaguely. Mr. Poe said that if you
don't want somebody to find something,

you just hide it under his nose.

Exactly. But as it wasn't practical to
hide a spaceship under Brennan's nose, I

decided to use his garage instead.

Oh. Well,

if it's here, I, uh... I don't see it.
Well, now that I know what I'm looking

for, I do.

Oh? Oh, the box.

The box?

Are you sure? I mean, how can you get
that spaceship into that box? Very

I dismantled it into geometric segments,
each of which fits into the other like

a Chinese puzzle. Yeah, well, quickly,
you better hurry up and deactivate this

thing before it takes off her compass
throttle.

Too much noise opening it.

Come on, let's get it out to the car.

We can work on it on the way home.

I still can't see how that book could
disappear.

Oh, Laurel, books don't fly out of
windows. You probably misplaced it

while I was chasing that blasted car.

I'll just slip in.

Well, all right.

Wouldn't you know it, I'll have to stop
for gas. Oh, that's too bad. We're late

for our reservation now.

Oh, see, why don't we use my car? It's
right outside.

Well, if you're sure you wouldn't mind.
Oh, no.

I'll just back it into the garage.

You've got to stop him from coming in
here.

Don't worry. I will.

Oh, no.

I thought your mother's home remedy
cured your sneezophobia.

Relax, Tim. I must have caught a slight
cold in Brennan's damn garage last

night. You sure?

Of course. It's just a simple Martian
cold. Now, go ahead. Go ahead. Never

worrying about the cold. Go ahead. Move.

Where did all this food come from?

It's a perfectly natural phenomenon that
accompanies a Martian cold.

It is?

An advanced Martian medical technique
based upon one of your primitive earthly

axioms. Starve a fever and feed a cold.

Well.

Have a bite? Thank you.