All language subtitles for my_favorite_martian_s02e13_to_make_a_rabbit_stew

Come on now, Linda, stop that. Come on,
huh?

Oh,

Cleo.

Oh, come on now, Cleo.

Off you go.

You're not the one I thought you were.

Go on.

Go on.

That's the girl.

Oh, now, come on, Cleo. Go find yourself
another rabbit. But I'm not a rabbit,

Tim.

Oh, Mrs. Brown.

I'm sorry I woke you up, but I wanted to
know if you had a date for the

masquerade party tonight.

Tonight?

It's tonight?

Of course. It says so right on the
ticket.

Policeman's Masquerade Ball tonight.

Oh, Mrs. Brown, I'm afraid I got my days
mixed up. I don't think I can get a

date this late. Oh, that's a shame. She
would have had such a good time.

Oh, but you and Martin are still coming
to my house for punch and fudge brownies

before we go.

That'll put us in a gay mood.

Crazy. You come back here.

Cleo, you come right back down here. Do
you hear me?

What's the matter, Pammy?

Cleo ran away up into your apartment.

Oh? Well, I'll get her for you.

Thank you. Here, welcome.

Cleo?

Cleo, baby, come on now. Where are you?

Cleo?

Martin, have you seen Pammy Goodman's
rabbit?

Oh, good. Where is it?

In the kitchen.

Don't go in there.

What happened?

I was preparing my vitamins, Martian
style, when this little beast came

-hopping in.

And? And I dropped one on the floor, and
before I discovered it, she had eaten

it.

Well, what did it do to her?

Oh, hello, Pammy.

What can I do for you? I want my rabbit.

Your rabbit? Yes, sir, my rabbit Cleo.
She went into your house.

Oh, uh, this rabbit, can you describe
her?

What does she look like? She look like a
rabbit.

Oh, that's a fair start.

Now, uh, how big was she? She was just a
regular -sized rabbit, like this.

No, no, I'm certain that there's no
rabbit that size in our apartment.

You! Get off of me!

Excuse me, Tammy.

Uncle Martin!

Cleo, that's not a carrot. Will you get
this cock -picking jackrabbit off of me?

He didn't mean it that way, Cleo. What
do you mean? I didn't mean what what

You offended her when you called her
jackrabbit. It's the same thing as

a thoroughbred racehorse a jackass.
Well, she's big enough for that, too.

Cleo, please stop antagonizing her.

Antagonizing her? Look. She knocked me
down, jumped on top of me, and then

started chewing on the back of my neck.
Now, who is antagonizing who?

Whom. Whom.

It was nothing personal, Tim, but you
may have to change your brand of hair

Apparently, it has a base of vegetable
concentrate, which seems to attract

rabbits. Well, according to the
commercials, it's supposed to attract

Cleo, you come back here.

Now, stay away from Cleo. Don't worry.

your problem, Cleo, but for the time
being, we're all going to have to make

certain adjustments. Yeah? Well, the
first adjustment you better make is on

king -size rodent. I mean, do you have
any idea what Mrs. Brown would say if

found out that we had a six -foot rabbit
as a house guest?

Mrs. Brown is not our problem at the
moment.

Getting Cleo back to normal is.

Well, Mrs. Brown is going to be our
problem. If we don't show up at her

tonight, she'll be up here wanting to
know why.

Now, what are we going to tell her? That
we couldn't find a rabbit sitter?

trouble with you, Tim, is that you worry
about things that may never happen.

Now, run down to the supermarket and get
a couple of bushels of carrots while I

see if I can undo the damage.

Right.

A couple of bushels of carrots?

Cleo's appetite has grown in direct
proportion to her size.

Uncle Martin, um, what happens if you
can't get her down to normal?

That will be an excellent time to start
worrying.

Well, I can't wait!

I'm gonna start worrying now.

Cleo's appetite has grown in direct
proportion to her size.

Boy, it's a darn good thing she didn't
start out being an elephant.

There you are, Tim.

Did Martin find Pammy's little rabbit?
Um, uh, yeah, no, he didn't, Mrs. Brown.

Oh, that's good, because I know just
where to look for it. No, well, he's

busy now, Mrs. Brown, and I don't think
he wants to be disturbed.

Oh, well, I'm not going to disturb him.
I just want to find Pammy's rabbit.

That'll disturb him.

Come in, Mrs. Brown. Well, now, you see,
Mrs. Brown, he said... Oh,

Martin, I was making some coleslaw for
the party tonight, and right in the

middle of the cabbage, I remembered the
pussycat.

I'll bet you anything that's where the
rabbit is.

In the cabbage?

Oh, no, silly.

Behind the stove.

Well, I must confess, Laura Lee, it
never occurred to me to correlate

with a pussycat, a rabbit, and a stove.

Well, the trouble with you is, Martin,
that you don't think like a rabbit.

Nor like a pussycat.

Well, of course not. It really isn't
your fault.

You see, I once had a pussycat, so I
know.

The little thing used to hide behind the
stove where it was all nice and snugly

and warm. And that's where the rabbit
is.

Pardon me.

What did you do with the rat?

Lie down, you little bunny. Mrs. Brown
is going to put you behind the stove.

She's hungry again. She smells the
cabbage.

Cabbage?

What cabbage? The cabbage Laura Lee has
been cutting to make coleslaw.

The center of it is on her hands and
it's driving Cleo to distraction.

Oh? Well, if she doesn't like it there,
I have a couple of other places I'd like

to drive her to.

Sure, she'd be there.

Yeah, well, that's the way it goes
sometimes, Mrs. Brown. But next time we

a rabbit, we'll be sure and call on you.

Now, now, wait a minute.

Now, wasn't this table over here when I
came in?

Oh, now, what made you think that?

We've always had it right here. Yeah, we
like to keep it right next to the

cabbage kitchen.

Perhaps you became disoriented when you
went in the kitchen, Laura Lee.

You see, before, you were standing
there, and the table was here.

Now you're standing there, and the table
is here.

Oh, yes. Well, maybe I did.

Oh, say, did you look under the couch?

Oh,

I guess she is a sinner.

Now, now, Martin, this time I'm positive
that the table was not there.

Hmm, that's very interesting. A classic
case of human fallout syndrome. Are you

familiar with his theories of
intertertiary displacement?

Well, it happens occasionally with
individuals of extremely high

that once they become disoriented, their
sense of perspective remains

discombobulated for an indefinite length
of time.

Oh, really?

Well, isn't that nice?

In the meantime, if I get any more ideas
where Cleo might be, I'll let you know.

Now, don't forget 8 o 'clock at my
house. I just hope I can recognize you

your costume.

Yeah, well, don't worry, Mrs. Brown.
We'll be the only two there with a

twitch.

You're

breathing

on my antenna.

Now, hopefully I'm preparing an antidote
for those vitamins you so foolishly

gulped down.

My vitamins obviously caused an
expectation of your thyroid glands. And

hopeful that dysprosium in the antidote
will counteract the effect and reduce

you to normal.

You don't have to understand it. You
just have to drink it.

I don't care, Cleo. You're going to
drink this stuff whether or not it

like burnt shoe leather.

Detective Brennan is calling on Mrs.
Brown.

And he's a man who lives, breathes, and
wallows in suspicion.

Hello, Pammy.

Hi.

Well, if it isn't Bill Brennan. Come on
in.

Oh, did you find your rabbit, Pammy? No,
ma 'am. Tim's uncle kidnapped her.

What did she say about O 'Hara?

He kidnapped her.

Panny thinks her rabbit went in Tim's
apartment, and now Martin is holding her

for ransom or something.

Oh.

Oh, don't look so suspicious, Bill.

You know as well as I do that Martin
wouldn't do anything that mean.

Yes, he would.

Excuse me.

bushels of carrots.

As a matter of fact, well,

you see what happened, Detective
Brennan, is that Uncle Martin came up

theory that carrot juice was good for
the eyesight and we're going to try it

out. Well, now, isn't that a
coincidence?

Is it?

Dr. Strachmeyer evolved that same theory
in Vienna 40 years ago.

Yeah, well, it's about time then that
someone got around to proving Dr.

Strachmeyer. Strochmeyer.

Strochmeyer's theory, isn't it?

If that rabbit's up in that apartment,
Pammy, I'll get it for you.

Uh, uh, uh, Detective Brennan, you mean,
uh, uh, you're gonna be going upstairs,

sir?

Quick, quick, in the bedroom. If Brennan
sees you like that, you'll end up under

a microscope.

And so will I.

Well, Mr. Brennan.

And to what mischance do I owe this
unexpected visit? It would probably be

classified as investigating an overage
juvenile delinquent.

In the vernacular of my profession, I'm
looking for a hot rabbit.

Well, such fearlessness should not go
unrewarded. That little girl downstairs

says her rabbit went into your
apartment.

I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I came in
and looked around. I most certainly

would.

You have something you don't want me to
see.

Not at all. I simply resent implied
accusations.

They whose guilt within their bosom lies
imagine every eye beholds their blame.

Was it Ben Johnson who said, they that
know no evil will suspect none?

You don't want me to go in?

No. All right.

You're within your legal rights.

But let me remind you, there's more than
one way to skin a cat. Do Shakespeare

and Mark Twain write everything you say?

A search warrant?

A search warrant? Yeah. For a rabbit?

I doubt if he can get one before
morning. But if he does, you and I are

stew, right along with Cleo.

Well, if you must know, I'm made up for
a masquerade.

You most certainly may not go with us.

You can't mingle with people.

In your present condition, you can't
even mingle with rabbits.

We are not being inhospitable.

We are being realistic.

And I might remind you that you haven't
been exactly a little ray of sunshine

around here.

Oh,

shut up!

When you take a look and see what that
rabbit did to this plant,

After two bushels of carrots. Oh, I'm
sorry. I thought you were through.

Boy, I tell you, Uncle Martin, I can
just feel Brennan's search word

down our necks.

If you know him, he will be over here at
one minute after midnight.

Hey.

Uncle Martin, why do you keep stirring
and playing with that thing? You've been

simmering it and coddling it and boiling
it all day.

Tim, you can't boil a three -minute egg
in a minute and a half.

Gee, that's what I like about you, Uncle
Martin. Ask a simple question, get

directions how to boil an egg.

It's ready.

Where's Cleo?

Well, she was here just a minute ago,
that batty bunny.

Cleo!

just our imagination.

Maybe it was the little people. I don't
care how hungry you are, you can't dig

up the neighbor's garden.

Oh, yoo -hoo, Martin, Tim.

Hasta la vista, cha -cha -cha.

Oh, Tim, how nice. You got a date for
the masquerade party, after all.

A date?

Yes, at the very last moment, as it
were.

May I present Tim's friend, Miss, uh,
Miss...

Cleopatra Jones.

How do you do, Miss Jones?

I'm Mrs. Brown.

Oh, what a darling costume.

Oh, I'll bet you're very attractive.

Why don't you take your head off so I
can see your face? Oh, that's

She'd never get it back on.

What I mean is she just got one of those
beehive hairdos.

Oh, I see. Well, then you just leave
your head right where it is.

Come along with me and I'll start
introducing you.

She's got a very bad cold.

We'll be along a little later, Laura
Lee. We promised to take a picture of

Jones in a costume before the party, and
all my equipment is upstairs.

Oh, all right, but hurry up now.

Now, Uncle Martin, look. I have been on
dates with dogs, but I am not going to

take a rabbit to a masquerade party.

Uncle Martin.

Well, I must not have secured it very
well.

Oh, do you like my costume, dear?

Oh, I think this hat is just priceless,
don't you?

It's adorable.

Uncle Martin.

Uncle Martin, please.

Tell me it wasn't Cleo, was it?

Please. Of course not.

I threw my voice.

You come along with me, dear. You can
have your picture taken later.

Now, you run upstairs and get that
antidote while I try to keep Cleo from

defoliating lorally.

Oh, no. With modern methods of criminal
investigation, it's virtually impossible

to maintain an effective disguise for
any length of time.

A trained detective can penetrate any
disguise almost at a glance.

Oh, Bill.

I'd like you to meet Tim's date.

Cleopatra Jones, Miss Jones. This is Mr.
Brennan. Pleasure is mine, Miss Jones.

Oh, she can't take off her head because
she's got a beehive in it.

Oh,

there you are, O 'Hara.

A few hours from now, I'll be paying you
a little visit about another rabbit.

Would you care for some punch, Miss
Jones?

No, thank you.

Thank you.

and I'll introduce you to the other
guest.

Miss Nielsen, I want you to meet Tim
State, Cleopatra Jones.

Oh, I do hope you like my punch.

It's a recipe handed down from my
grandmother's time, made of cranberries,

elderberries, and beets.

This young lady bit the moth. Yes, it
was my idea. You see, I thought it might

be a rather clever idea for the
masquerade. You might win first prize.

Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful if I did
win first prize?

Oh, would you all excuse me for just a
moment?

Tim wants to speak to Cleo.

Come along, dear.

Let's go. Come on, come on.

Oh, here, I'll take those.

Here, drink this up.

You can't stay six feet tall.

There's no room in this world for six
-foot rabbits.

Hurry, I'm getting her to drink it
before somebody comes in here.

I'm sorry, Pammy has never taken you to
masquerade parties.

But there are just certain places that
rabbits don't fit in.

Now listen to me, you dumb bunny. If you
don't drink this stuff, I can't help

it.

Just a small lover's quarrel.

Oh, Bill, would you give these to the
girls, please?

Oh, delighted.

How about you, Don? Would you like some
more?

Jim, we've got to get Cleo back in the
kitchen.

Time is running out. Well, what's the
use? You can't get her to drink the

anecdote anyway.

Well, as Mr. Brennan so cleverly quotes
Mark Twain...

There's more than one way to skin a cat.

Huh?

Oh, I better make some more. I'll be
right back, Don.

Hold it.

Would you mind telling me something?
Where did that punch go?

From whence it came, back into the air
by a process called evaporation.

I'll have more punch in just a moment.

May we help?

Oh, no, thank you. Not just yet.

What are you doing?

What Mr. Twain said about cats can also
be applied to rabbits.

Oh, uh, Tim, did you get a chance to
talk to Mr. Brennan about that? What?

Well, you remember, you were thinking of
joining the police force.

I was?

Oh, I was! Yes, I was!

Well, I don't know if I ever told you
this, but when I was a little boy... I

always thought perhaps I'd like to be a
policeman or maybe even a fireman. You

see, but I didn't really go along with
it because I thought, well, it's sort of

silly because... I'd like to be a
streetcar conductor.

Yes, but of course that was sort of
stupid.

And if I've been a conductor, I wouldn't
be able to drive one. So then I

thought, well, I think I'm going to go
back and become a fireman. But I didn't

like that.

Excuse me.

And so I thought, well, then I'll become
a policeman. That's what I've always

wanted to be anyway. And that's what I
think I'll do.

Have you any idea what you're talking
about?

No, no, but it doesn't really matter.

There, it's all ready.

Oh, Pammy's rabbit.

I wonder how she got here.

Well, don't just stand there, Bill.
Don't you think you ought to take Cleo

to Pammy?

Well, she's probably been worried.

I tell you when to start worrying, and I
never told you.

Oh, my, what a lovely evening.

Oh, it's a shame Miss Jones couldn't go
to the ball.

Oh, well, she was very sorry, too, but
you know how those sudden headaches are.

Yes, poor thing.

Well, hasta la vista.

Cha -cha -cha.

Oh, hey, how about that? You know, I got
so excited when I ran upstairs, I

grabbed your vitamin pills and put them
in my pocket.

Can I see you a minute?

You've been to a masquerade, haven't
you? That's right.

Well, you know, you gave me an awful
start. I saw that big rabbit come out of

your apartment.

You know, I live down the street here.
My wife's been out of town for a few

days. I guess I got to thinking about
things when I... Night.