Original subtitles

Tim? Tim?

Tim, will you stop daydreaming and get back to work, huh? I'm not daydreaming,

Uncle Martin. I'm catching up with my astronomy.

I'm studying the heavenly body.

Tim, one cannot see the heavenly body in broad daylight.

Well, this one I can.

She's a redhead, about five foot six with... Oh,

come on, Uncle Martin!

Come on, that's not fair.

Neither is a peeping Tim.

It's Tom, and besides, what's wrong? I happen to like girls.

Nevertheless, you are supposed to be applying your attention to the repair of

Mrs. Brown's television antenna, not the feminine form Fantastic.

Yeah, okay, okay, but would you mind releasing my head for active service?

With consummate pleasure.

Now, back to work.

Slave driver.

and I said slave driver, not screwdriver.

Listen, can you please give me the pliers?

I'd be most happy to.

Oh, good morning.

I thought you boys might like a cool drink working out here in the hot sun.

Well, that's very kind of you, Mrs. Brown.

Isn't it, Tim? Oh, it sure is.

Say, Mrs. Brown, did you find your pocketbook yet?

No, no, I didn't. So I called the police and they're sending a man over to

investigate.

Now you be careful up there.

Bye.

I didn't know Mrs. Brown lost her

pocketbook.

Why are you staring at her house?

I'm reading Mrs. Brown's mind.

Knowing the dear lady, she undoubtedly just misplaced it.

Just as I thought.

It's under one of the pillows on the couch. Well, don't tell me.

Tell her.

And have her wondering how I know where it is?

Besides, why deprive the police department of employment?

Boy, Uncle Martin, you really ought to see this rat ahead.

She's wearing a polka dot bikini.

Watch what you're doing. Tim, look out, look out.

Uncle Martin, you all right?

You all right?

I think so.

Uncle Martin, I hate to tell you this,

but your head is ringing.

Uncle Martin? It was this way.

Don't just stand there.

Hang up your head.

I just can't believe it. You turning into a telephone? It's impossible.

Well, I'm afraid it's not as impossible as you think, Tim. That live telephone

wire short -circuited the built -in micro -generator that operates my

communication systems.

Somehow, I'm cross -connected with a telephone trunk line.

I'll get it.

No, no, you don't need to. It's me.

Uncle Martin, that's against the law. You can get in trouble taking those kind

of calls.

Tim, we could dispense with your Neanderthal humor.

This ringing in my ears is giving me a frightful headache.

Well, isn't there any way you know to disconnect yourself?

I'm afraid not.

I've never faced this kind of problem before.

Hmm. Hey, why don't we dial information?

Maybe they can tell us.

Well, I'm sorry, Uncle Martin. I mean, I know it's nothing to joke about, but...

Well, suppose we did call the phone company. And just how would I explain

to them? As an exchange student from Mars?

I'm going to have to work out this problem on my own.

Good.

At least we know your head is busy.

Tea, Mrs. Brown.

The way you brew it, it more closely resembles the nectar of the gods.

Oh, my.

Another brownie?

That offer, too, I find difficult to resist.

They're delicious.

That is a compliment. You see, I made them myself. It's my own recipe.

One need not be a detective to have deduced that, dear lady.

But to get back to the matter of your purse.

Now, about these tenants of yours.

Martin and Tim?

Oh, well, you couldn't suspect them. Why, they're so nice and most

And they always pay their rent promptly.

Sometimes purloining purses can account for such promptness.

Now, if my theory proves correct, the voltage of the electric shock from the

transformer will short -circuit the telephone connection.

Well, I sure hope this works. You know, it's kind of spooky living with a walkie

-talkie. Well, as we Martians say, invention is the mother of necessity.

You're getting company.

Long distance?

No, short distance.

Mrs. Brown, accompanied by a police officer. Oh, well, come on, quick. In

bedroom, of course, unless you'd like me to introduce my uncle, the phone booth.

Well,

Mrs.

Brown, and, uh... Oh, this is Detective Brennan, Tim.

He just wants to ask you and your Uncle Martin a few questions.

Uncle Martin, yes. Well, um, you see, my Uncle Martin's...

I believe your telephone is ringing.

It is? It is. Well, of course it is.

It's probably the wrong number. We've been getting an awful lot of wrong

numbers. You see, there's something wrong with the phone.

Hello? Hello.

Elite Lingerie?

Oh, I'm sorry. You've got the wrong number.

Yeah.

I'm kissing her.

I'm kissing her.

Crossed wires at night.

Hello.

Those voices aren't coming from here.

Ten on Dolly Deer in the sixth.

Got you.

And a double saw buck on any time in the seventh.

Good.

That was coming from you.

Oh, I... No, no, it wasn't. I admit it may have appeared that way, but it was

really coming from Tim.

You see, my nephew dabbles in ventriloquism, and unfortunately, he'll

at the slightest opportunity.

Oh, well, I thought you were very good, Tim. I didn't see your mouth move once.

Did you, Detective Brennan?

I wasn't watching.

Frankly, I find this form of juvenile behavior a crashing bore.

Now, if we could get on with the questioning, I'd like to apprehend the

who made off with Mrs. Brown's purse.

Mm -hmm. That is, assuming someone actually made off with it.

My good man.

I do wish you'd leave the science of criminology to the expert and not

it in your current curriculum of childish endeavors.

Honestly, Martin, I've looked everywhere.

Just everywhere.

I don't doubt it, Mrs. Brown.

But sometimes, you know, we can be looking and you never know, it's like an

Easter egg hunt. Oh, well.

Oh, for heaven's sake. Thank you, Martin.

Well, what can I say?

I believe Shakespeare put it quite appropriately when he said, It is a

day that brings forth the snake, and that craves wary walking.

Well, dear lady, you have your purse back, and my job is done.

Oh, and just as we were getting to know one another, isn't that a shame?

Well, it doesn't have to be goodbye. It could be just au revoir.

Of course.

You could always drop by for some more tea and brownies.

Say, later this afternoon when you're off duty?

I'll be counting the minutes.

Until this afternoon.

Such a sweet man.

Thank you

Look, Uncle Martin, we've stretched that ventriloquist gag about as far as it

can go. Well, that egghead super snooper coming back.

I'm quite aware of the gravity of the situation, Tim.

Now do as I say. Climb the pole.

I'll levitate this wire to you.

You, in turn, will hold it out in the direction of the power line.

The magnetic field that encircles it will enable the power to be drawn into

wire, passing the proper voltage down and disconnecting me.

Say, you know, if this works, I think I'll miss those incoming calls.

It could make keyhole peeping.

Passé. There's no time for levity.

Climb.

O 'Hara, what in the world are you up to now?

Don't tell me, let me guess.

You're Jack and you're Groff.

No, it so happens that I was flying a kite and it got stuck in the wires.

A kite?

I have 20 -20 vision.

I don't see any kite up there.

I wouldn't expect you to see my kite up there. It broke loose and flew away.

My nephew is trying to retrieve my favorite kite string.

Favorite kite string?

Uh, O 'Hara, you are unattached, are you not? My matrimonial status is still

single. Good. I have a beautiful niece you'd be wild about.

She's seven going on eight.

Oh, it's three o 'clock in the morning. You're still not able to go to sleep.

Oh, how can I sleep with the phone going all night?

Doctor's getting night calls.

Husband's calling wives, telling them they're still at the office.

Yeah, I know what you're going through. No one can know what I'm going through

unless they've been on the telephone themselves.

Well, the shock treatment didn't work.

There must be a simple way to disconnect myself.

I just haven't been able to hit on it.

Hey.

Hey, maybe if you hung a sign... out of order around your...

Oh,

my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Here we go again.

Hello? Ted?

Blackstone? You alone?

I'm alone.

Yeah. Yeah, there's just the four of us.

I will make delivery of the Vandalia Diamond tomorrow night.

The Vandalia Diamond?

Now, listen carefully.

Yeah, yeah, we will, we will.

Tomorrow night, I'll...

When you contact me, you will say, the ocean's green, the sky's blue. I repeat,

the ocean's green, the sky's blue. Is that clear?

Gotcha.

Well, Uncle Martin. Uncle Martin, quick, we've got to call the police.

Hello, operator?

Oh, that's right, you only take incoming calls.

there's a better way. I have an intriguing thought which will at least

of one of my problems. What intriguing thought? Detective Brennan, don't your

police usually get promotions to headquarters when they solve an

Well, yes, but I don't see what that has to do with it. It's simple. I'll have

him solve the case, get him his promotion, and we'll be rid of him.

Now, I know he has a date tomorrow night with Mrs. Brown.

And you're going to get them to go to an art exhibit on their first date, huh?

Boy, you Martians are sure naive.

You think very narrow thoughts.

A mind is like a parachute.

It only functions when it's open.

They should be coming out very soon.

Uncle Martin, you never cease to amaze me. Now, do you mean you can actually

plant thoughts in other people's minds? Well, not to any great extent.

I can plant ideas and notions.

It's, well, it's somewhat like your hypnotism.

I couldn't have a person go against his nature and his character.

Now what are you doing?

Well, you'll soon see.

I'm sorry I kept you waiting, but I wanted to look my very best. You know

women are.

Well, good evening, Martin, Tim.

Good evening, Mrs. Brown.

Bill, Detective Brennan is taking me to the theater tonight. Isn't that sweet of

him? Yes, that's very sweet of Bill. I mean, Detective Brennan.

Look what those bad boys did.

Oh, well, I'll just come out in the morning and wash it off.

You know what I see in what appears to be those simple chalk marks?

I see a sunset on the ocean and a

sailboat disappearing over the horizon.

Interesting.

Most interesting.

For me, it conjures up a different picture.

A ski slope in the Alps.

In the distance, a warm, friendly tavern with flames dancing in the fireplace.

You know, this isn't just scribbling. This is an amazing example of modern

Modern art?

Well, I didn't know you appreciated modern art. I find it most fascinating.

You know, there's a modern art exhibit on tonight.

Do you suppose that, uh... In preference to the theater, by all means, I'd love

to attend. Oh, wonderful.

Good night.

You know something?

They were both wrong about that.

I know what that picture is.

Hmm? Yeah. Yeah, it's three gorgeous redheads, and two of them have on

And the third one... Well, don't blame me.

You drew the picture.

Gorgeous painting.

Yeah, I wonder what it is.

There

he

is. There's our Mr. Blackstone.

Well, he doesn't look like a jewel thief.

They make the best kind.

Yeah, but I still don't see how you can get Detective Brennan onto the crooks

without letting him know that you know.

Martian philosophy.

If Mohammed won't go to the mountains, simply move the mountain to Mohammed.

If we can't get Brennan to capture the criminals in question, then we must get

the criminals to get themselves caught by Brennan.

What are you doing?

Reading a few minds.

I want to see if Mr.

Blackstone's associates have arrived yet.

Oh, you sort of sweep the room like radar, huh? That's right.

Luck is with us.

They have not arrived as yet.

Oh, clean sweep.

Well, Tim, we might as well join Mrs. Brown and the good detective.

And, Tim, after we say good evening to them, I want you to start looking up at

the ceiling.

Looking up at the ceiling? What for? A tactical maneuver.

You look up at the ceiling and others will do the same.

Always works.

While their eyes are diverted, I'll start moving my mountain.

Oh, yes. Well, you ask yourself a question, you get a confusing answer.

Good evening, Mrs. Brown.

Oh, hello.

Oh, isn't this a lovely exhibit?

Indeed. Some fine examples of modern art.

see anything. I was looking up to see what you were looking at.

Well, I was just looking up to see what Tim was looking at.

What are you looking up for, Tim?

Oh, well, sometimes in these exhibits they put murals on the ceiling.

Oh, really?

Oh, is that so?

Uh -huh.

Don't look now, but I believe we switched the carnation just in time.

Ocean's green, sky's blue.

Yes, so they are.

Ocean's green, sky's blue.

If you say so, as you already have.

Let's not wait for them to paint a mural.

May I repeat, the ocean's green, the sky is blue.

And may I add, roses are red, so what else is new?

But, but, the red carnation in your lapel.

Carnation? I'm not wearing any... You,

you, I, I, I, I...

Stop him.

I'll throw up an invisible force field and stop him.

Oh, you stopped him, all right. But

cold.

Well, what are you going to do now? I thought the whole idea was to get

Detective Brennan to capture him. Watch.

May I borrow this for a moment, sir?

Thank you.

Oh, we now have it for the records. The great jewel thief roundup. Oh, Phil, my

hero.

What about Plaxton?

Well, with his accomplice under arrest, the police won't have any trouble

picking him up.

Oh, Uncle Martin, I've got to hand it to you.

I guess there's not a single problem you can't solve.

I guess not, Tim.

I guess not yet.

No problem except one, Tim.

Let's get out of here.

Oh, I'm so proud of you. Oh, you're such a brave man.

You think it'll... You think it'll work, Uncle Martin?

Well, the electric chopper wouldn't do it.

Perhaps a chemical reaction will disconnect me from the phone company.

I sure hope it works this time. I could sure use some sleep.

Hello? Gwen, darling.

Susan, how are you?

Poor darling.

I just wish some charming, handsome stranger would call me out of the blue

ask me out. Give me your new phone number.

I've got a friend I know you'll just love.

Yeah, hold it, Uncle Marin. Hold it. Wonderful.

It worked. I'm disconnected.

Oh, fine.

Just when I could have gotten connected.

Someone's coming.

Come in!

Just dropped by to see what the Rover boys were doing.

Oh, playing with your chemistry set. How nice.

What are you doing here?

With all the front page publicity Tim gave you, I thought you got a promotion.

I did, but I turned it down.

I happen to be very fond of brownies.

I don't know what it is, Tim.

Maybe it's your Earth's atmosphere.

But I always seem to wind up with at least one problem.