Original subtitles

What do you do in your stomach itches?

Ask a silly question.

What's the matter? Is something wrong? I don't know.

Someone coming up the stairs with Mrs. Brown.

I can't quite make out who or what.

Oh, Tim, have I got a surprise for you. Come on in, honey.

This is my niece, Paula Clayfield, Tim.

Oh, I could just hardly keep it a secret she was coming because I knew you two

would just hit it off right away.

Hi, there.

Hi, yourself.

Oh, and this is Tim's uncle, Martin O 'Hara.

He's an inventor.

Oh, he's got the garage just filled with all sorts of secret things he won't

even let me see.

Really? What kind of things do you invent, O 'Hara?

Say, maybe...

Paula can help you. You know, she used to be a child prodigy, and she's still

very smart.

Child prodigy?

It must be your oxygen recirculator and waste

moisture conversion unit.

Uh, yes.

And that's some kind of a gadget for dissipating heat, isn't it?

What do you call that?

Uh, raster.

I just sort of made it up. It probably won't work.

I don't know, O 'Hara.

The basic design is rather ingenious.

I'd like to work on it with you.

You see?

Didn't I tell you?

Oh, with pretty blue and red lines.

I can't make heads or tails of it. What's it supposed to be?

Obviously, Aunt Laura Lee, it's a design for a spaceship.

Oh, you're not planning on leaving us, are you, Martin?

Won't leave in that. There are some very basic flaws in the overall design. This

ship will never get off the ground.

Any sign of the menace yet?

This is no joking matter, Tim.

This girl may very well prove to be just that, the menace. And now you know I'm

in no position to let her discover that I'm a Martian. Well, I don't see what

you're worried about.

You know, she can't really be so smart if she thinks that your spaceship won't

fly. Well, that's where you're wrong. She is absolutely correct.

According to her primitive theories of aerodynamics,

a ship like mine couldn't rise afoot on its own power.

But then, according to those same principles, a bumblebee can't fly.

Oh, yes, I've heard about that.

Theoretically, a bumblebee should crawl from one flower to another.

Have you seen my notebook around? Oh, it was over there on the coffee table the

last time I saw it.

Hey, Uncle Martin.

What's this?

Oh, that's all that was left of my raster when I crash -landed. I checked

on a spectroscope to try to work out a substitute alloy.

Oh. Well, I'll see you later, Uncle Martin.

Hi, there.

Is your uncle up yet? Yes, yes, as a matter of fact.

O 'Hara, I've got an idea how we can make that thing you call a raster work.

Come here.

Have fun, Uncle Martin.

You've been working under a fallacious theory, O 'Hara.

you're assuming that once the process of molecular dissipation has begun, it

will continue under its own volition, which is untrue, of course. Let me show

you.

By the way, what is this?

Oh, it's just a piece of metal I've been using for paperweight.

Looks like magnesium.

And some other element I can't identify.

Now, it might be interesting to have that analyzed sometime.

Yes, it might at that.

Well, let me show you now what's the matter with your...

theory of continuing dissipation.

Take a look at that.

You've been ignoring the conversion loss in your computation.

However, with the proper shield to take the first heat wave impact,

I think we can overcome that conversion loss through micro -miniature electronic

impulses.

Uncle Martin.

Uncle Martin, what's the matter with you? Tim, up until 30 minutes ago, I

couldn't even disappear.

She won't let me out of her sight. I think she's got eyes in the back of her

head. Well, maybe she's from another planet, too.

No, no, no, she's from Cincinnati.

Tim, I'm worried.

This girl has the IQ of a super genius and the innate curiosity of a natural

-born scientist.

Sooner or later, she's going to put two and two together and come up with M -A

-R -T -I -A -N.

Hmm. Well, I'm sorry, Uncle Martin. I wish I could help. No, no, no. Wait.

all we have to do is divert her attention from me to you.

Now, here's what we'll do.

You make a play for her. Tell her she's beautiful.

Make her feel like a woman.

Take her to the beach. Take her to the mountains. Keep her occupied.

You can start tonight. Now, go ask her for a date. I can't do that, Uncle

Martin. Not tonight. No, I've got to cover a dog show.

Fine. Take her along.

You mean enter.

I don't care what you have to do. Just do it.

First prize.

No, not Paula.

Don't forget to remind me to take that to the office tomorrow. We've got to get

a picture of the first edition.

Well, I should have known it wouldn't work. You and Paula, you have nothing in

common, nothing to talk about.

Oh, all right, I'll go in. So it was a dull evening.

May I have the coffee, please? Yeah.

But I'll tell you what, if it'll help you in any way... Well, if you ever need

me to take Paula out again, you just say so. No, no.

There's no point in burdening you with her again.

I'll just have to think of some other way of fending her off until Edgar gets

here.

Edgar? Don't you know about Edgar?

No. Uncle Martin, this is Earth. I live here. But unless somebody tells me

something, I have no way of knowing what it's all about.

You see, I don't read minds.

Well, from what I've been able to glean of her occasional thoughts of him, they

have what you Earth people call an understanding.

You mean they're engaged?

Paula? Not exactly.

As nearly as I can tell, Edgar keeps putting off any definite commitment.

That I can understand.

He'll be here in a few days to attend a demonstration of a new rocket at the

university. He's a physicist.

I've been unable to classify him. Well, I can classify him for you. Any guy that

would think that Paula is a... Well, a... He has to be a nut.

Hello, Carla?

Tim.

Hi, sweetheart.

I'll be there right in the night.

Bye, hon.

Now, on the other hand, O 'Hara, if we could devise some entirely new method

assimilating the heat factor, say transferring it from the shield to a

dissipator without increasing the urge count, I think we might be able to make

this raster of yours work.

Now, take a look at this.

But keep in mind that the exponent must be constant throughout in order to

arrive at the conjunctive logarithm.

You didn't take into account the systematic anti -hyphenating of the

arc, which makes the third unit a fourth power instead of a three.

Hi there.

Hi yourself.

How about having dinner with me tonight?

Who, me?

Of course, yes. Oh, of course, this won't be like the dog show, but I mean a

real dinner, no hot dogs. I know a restaurant that you will just be wild

And they have a violinist who is just magnificent, and the food is... But

I was under the distinct impression you didn't want to be seen with me.

gave you an idea like that?

I was never driven down so many alleys in my life.

Oh, well, I was trying to make it short, but I got lost several times, that's

all. But tonight will be different, I promise.

Well, all right. I mean, if I don't have to get dressed up.

Oh, she doesn't have to get dressed up. No, you're perfect just the way you are.

Now, uh, now don't you go away, huh?

I'll be right back.

No, thank you.

Uncle Martin, what do you think you're doing?

Jesus, go!

Tim, I thought you'd be anxious to know that I figured out a way to build my

roster. Bully for you.

It came to me all in a flash from an idea Paula had. What she proposed

work, of course, but it did give me the idea to... Tim.

Tim, you didn't.

I did.

I asked Paula to marry me.

But, Tim, this girl has a super intellect.

Well, what do you think attracted me to her in the first place?

Good morning, Mr. O 'Hara.

Is Tim at home?

Come in, Paula.

Tim went to the store.

He'll be back in a few minutes.

What did you do to Tim last night?

Hypnotize him?

He kept telling me I was beautiful.

And I really felt almost beautiful.

I felt wonderful and alive and different this morning.

Do you think Tim will still feel the same way about me this morning?

That's entirely up to you.

You aren't beautiful because you've never tried to be beautiful.

You're even afraid of being a woman.

You have this great, giant intellect and you think that's enough.

You cling to it like a child clings to a teddy bear.

It's your security.

You're afraid to let go of it, even for a moment.

You're a coward, Paula.

Afraid to compete with other women on their own level.

I don't need to compete with other women.

That's right, you don't.

You feel too superior.

Be a woman, Paula.

I dare you to even try.

Maybe I can help.

You don't really need those glasses, do you?

Have you got a comb in your purse?

Do you think Tim will like the new me?

Why don't you ask him?

He's about to drive into the driveway now.

Oh, I have an extremely acute sense of hearing, and our automobile has its own

peculiar sound.

Oh,

Mr.

O 'Hara.

How can I ever really repay you for everything you've done?

Your happiness and Tim's are all I care about

If

I weren't so smart this never would have

happened

Hello?

Edgar, it's Paula.

Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't recognize you. You're wearing a different dress.

Excuse me.

Don't go away. We want to go directly to the university from here.

Been, Paula.

You've been fine.

Yeah.

Did you see him? Did you see Edgar?

She went out to the university with him.

Oh, boy, it's going to be quite a shock when she tells him about us.

Now, I know it was there this morning because I rechecked it in the

spectroscope. And then Paula came in and she... Holy jumping Jupiter, she

couldn't have.

Couldn't have what? She must have put it in her purse. Come on, let's go.

Now, wait a minute. Where are we going?

We're going to the university. If Paula finds that Martian alloy in her purse,

she won't be able to resist analyzing it in the laboratory, and that's all I

need.

Thus, by liquefying the oxygen, we increase the pressure to a measurable

of... The trouble is that there are so many brilliant minds around here that

it's going to be difficult to find Paulers and Edwards.

Hot pastrami on rye with potato salad on the side.

That's me. We missed lunch. I'm awful hungry.

Why don't you just disappear and walk on in?

Once inside, I may have to ask directions.

And most people are reluctant to answer questions from disembodied voices.

Wait here.

I hope you're not planning on doing what I think you're planning on doing. If

it's all the same to you, I'll take care of the mind -reading department.

Here, put this on.

No, no, wait. Someone's coming.

Oh, Martin, look, we can't sneak into a restricted area. It's 20 years in

Leavenworth if we're caught.

Stop bickering.

No matter which way I look, I keep seeing Leavenworth.

Well, if it bothers you so much, why don't you close your eyes?

I beg your pardon. Do you happen to know Dr. Edgar Edgerton?

Edgerton, Edgerton.

Is he here for the demonstration?

Yes, he's a friend of Paula Clayfield. Oh, sure. He's from Midwest Tech.

The last time I saw them, they were heading for the testing lab.

The testing lab?

Yeah, they had an alloy specimen they found someplace, wanted to check it out.

The testing lab is right down this corridor and three doors to the right on

next corridor.

Thank you very much. Yeah, thanks.

See you around, Louise.

Nobody's going to believe that's me.

They're in there testing the alloy in the radio spectrograph.

Well, can they find out anything that way? Plenty.

Someone's coming in here. Quick, disappear.

You know I can't disappear.

You got poor. That spectrograph must be broken.

It checked out all right with the specimen control.

Yes, I know, but all I can say is if we get comparable results from the gas

vapors, we're just going to have to go to the head of the department.

I've never noticed it before.

Noticed what before?

How beautiful.

That's it.

What's this?

Well, ever since I got here this morning, I've had a vague, uneasy

there was something I should do.

And I just realized what it was.

anything to do with that Cinderella bit?

That's a pretty direct question.

Well, here's another one.

Why do I always have to be the pumpkin?

Carla? Sweetheart?

Hi, this is Tim. I'm completely recovered.

Yes, well, I thought maybe you'd like to have dinner with me tonight.

Well, I have this little... Come in, Mrs. Brown.

How did you know it was me?

Mrs. Brown, I have a seventh sense about you.

Oh, that's nice.

Well, guess what's in this letter. All right, hon, fine. Look, I'll pick you up

at 8 o 'clock, all right? It's from Paula and Edgar, and they're having a

wonderful time on their honeymoon.

Oh, they've been to the aquarium and the museum and Grant's tomb, just

everywhere, even Ellis Island.

But you know what?

No, what?

Well, Paula said she had the most marvelous idea on how to fix Martin's

so they're both on the way back to help him. Isn't that wonderful?

Oh, when I read the letter, I could just...

your smiling faces.