All language subtitles for my_favorite_martian_s01e17_going_going_gone

The carpet must have a break to the
right.

I guess

it has a break to the left.

known it was you.

Hey, look, I have a great idea. Why
don't you join me in the news reporter's

golf tournament next month? Oh, I'm
afraid that would be cheating.

Oh, they play golf on Mars? They used
to, but they had to give it up when we

discovered the powers of levitation.

Everyone shot a par 18.

That ball return is the most interesting
gadget.

Do you mind if I examine it?

Be my guest.

Maybe your finger didn't get enough
sleep last night Well,

it never happened before

Hello, Frank.

I've just detected a huge sunspot on my
sealostat.

Yes, magnetic polarities are all mixed
up.

Far more severe than the spots of 1958.

It's really going to play havoc with
communications everywhere.

You'd better give the usual warning to
all communications agencies.

No telling how long this group will last
or how bad they may get.

I'll keep you posted.

These Martian hands weren't designed to
use your primitive earth tools.

Did you hurt yourself?

I scraped my knuckles.

You know, back home, we have nails that
drive themselves.

I'm sorry I messed up one of your
handkerchiefs.

Forget it.

Get it out.

Come on, Uncle Martin, cut it out.

Cut it cut out what?

Fool around with the typewriter.

I don't know what you're talking about.
What are you talking about that? Now,

will you stop using your Martian
levitation powers?

I'm not.

Well, maybe you're doing with your
elbow.

Now, Uncle Martin, look, I am in the
middle of an assignment. This is no time

for a practical joke.

Believe me, whatever is happening is
happening by itself.

Do you know that you look like a walking
junkyard? I'm not able to find any

humor in that.

Now what are you doing?

Nothing. My coveralls seem to have
become magnetized. Well, now, you can't

magnetize cloth.

You can when the base of the thread is a
metal.

Well, it looks like your coverall
doesn't cover all.

Well, why did you insist on burning the
coverall? Well, no matter how remote the

possibility, I cannot take the chance of
someone discovering I'm from another

planet. Unless I destroy them, someone
just might find them and wonder where

material came from.

You have no idea how they became
magnetized?

No, something must have set up an
electrical field that magnetized the

metal in the fabric. Well, you can
always buy another pair of coveralls.

like these.

They were practically new. I only had
them 175 years.

175 years?

Yes. And they were hand -me -downs from
my father.

But that's all right. I've got another
pair in the spaceship.

Uncle Martin, now you cut that out. Do
you want someone to see you? That's the

last thing I want.

I can't get down. Well, something must
be wrong.

That's an astute observation.

Uncle Martin, now you stop lying there.
Do something.

I can't.

I can't get my legs to go down.

Well, maybe I can help, huh?

Better?

How do you feel now?

Fine. Oh, that's good, that's good.

My pulse is 218, and my temperature is
131.

I'm normal.

You account for spending almost ten
minutes in midair. I haven't the

idea.

Come in.

Anybody home?

Oh, no, Mrs. Brown. We left about five
minutes ago. Oh, Tim, you're always

spoofing.

Say, if you have a minute, I'd like to
try something out on you.

Another cake?

No, not this time.

You know, you never did tell me how you
liked the pie I made you last week.

Hey, that was different. What was it?
Cherry chicken. Wasn't it delicious?

I never got anything like that back
home.

Well, what can we do for you? Well, with
all the time I've had on my hands

lately, I thought I'd put it to some
practical use.

I'm going to sell insurance.

Well, I think that's a wonderful idea.

I've worked up a little sales pitch to
use on potential customers, and I'd like

to try it out on you.

Go right ahead, Mrs. Brown.

You know, I've always heard that honesty
is the best policy.

Insurance is the best policy.

The manual says to start out with a
little joke. You've succeeded.

Now, are you ready for the sales pitch?
On your mark, get set, sell.

Well, you're supposed to ask me which is
the best policy for you.

Which is the best policy for me?

I have no idea.

Just a moment, I'll check.

Hmm.

Well, it seems to depend on a lot of
things.

Like what?

Well, for one thing, whether you're a
man or a woman.

Now, let's make it a hypothetical case,
and let's say you're a man.

All right, for argument's sake, let's
say Tim's a man.

The policy you should consider is an
endowment with a clause to convert it to

whole life, unless term insurance is
required to protect the present, and 20

life can be used in conjunction with
future premiums, excluding dividends.

Well, that's the whole thing in a
nutshell.

Oh, did I, uh, did I do a convincing
job?

Yes, Mrs. Brown, I think you cover just
about everything.

Oh, fine.

Now, how much insurance do you want?

Well, I'm fully covered by insurance at
the newspaper. I'm covered right up to

here. Well, don't you want to cover the
rest of you?

Oh, uh, Uncle Martin isn't covered.

Thanks a lot.

Oh, well, now, what kind of insurance
would you be interested in? Oh, a policy

that would protect me from insurance
salesmen.

We're spoofing again.

Mrs. Brown, you're a born saleswoman.
Just leave the forms and I'll fill them

out. Oh, fine.

Well, that's the second policy I've sold
today.

Who bought the first one? I did.

Well, I must be going.

A bulb blew out and I have to run down
to the store and buy a new one.

Oh, we have some extra bulbs.

Oh, and I'll get you one so you don't
have to make a special trip. Oh, that'd

wonderful.

I couldn't find anything.

I'm sure we have something. Oh, men can
never find anything.

It's probably in the closet.

I knew I could find

one. Thank you.

Oh, you won't forget to fill out the
application.

No, no, I'll mail it in. I'll mail it
in. Oh, fine. Thank you and bye.

Whatever it is, you're awfully nice to
read by.

Who would have thought that I would wind
up at the floor lamp?

I wish I knew what was wrong.

Uncle Martin, look, I'm getting a little
worried about you. I think maybe you

better see a doctor.

I think it would be more appropriate to
see an electrician.

Now, look.

You admit yourself that there is
something wrong with you. Now, why are

being so stubborn about going and seeing
a doctor?

Whatever's wrong with me is beyond the
scope of your physicians here on Earth.

Are all Martians as stubborn as you?

No one on Mars is stubborn. You will not
find the word stubborn in the Martian

dictionary. And if you don't mind, I'm
trying to watch the program.

Then what?

Do you call it?

Call what? Your attitude.

I'm merely applying logic.

I'm from another planet.

And although my physical structure is
much the same as yours, there are

metabolic processes which are totally
dissimilar. They require highly complex

diagnosis far beyond the realm of your
primitive position.

Therefore, it would not be logical for
me to consult them regarding my problem.

Do I make myself clear?

Yes.

You're stubborn. Now, Uncle Martin, will
you just please do it for me?

Tim, it's useless.

Well, you talk as though it'd kill you.

Tim, if for one minute I thought that
they could help, I would do it.

Now, if I'm involved in the television
set.

Tim!

Tim, I'm shrunk.

I'm nothing but a sample.

Oh, my gosh.

I told you to see a doctor.

Well, do you know a witch doctor?

One who specializes in shrunken goods?

Uncle Martin, can you make yourself any
bigger? No, no, I'm trying.

I thought Martians could do everything.

I'm worried. I never had this problem
before.

I wonder what's going to happen next.

You stop worrying.

It happened. What?

You're gone.

You're right. I am.

And I can't make myself reappear.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have just
received information from Mount Palomar

Observatory that due to an extremely
heavy bombardment of sunspots,

communications have been interrupted.
Please forgive the interference in the

video part of our program.

Sunspots. That's what's playing havoc
with my metabolism.

Well, is there any way you can
counteract them? On Mars, yes.

On Earth, no.

Well, how long do sunspots last?

They can last for a few days or weeks or
months. And there was one extreme case

that lasted 112 years.

Uncle Martin, I'm afraid I can't wait
that long.

Uncle Martin?

Yes, Tim.

Did you, uh, did you check with the
observatory again?

Same old thing.

The sunspots are continuing without any
sign of a let -up.

The Earth is closer to the sun than Mars
is.

That's why I must be so susceptible.

Well, don't worry, Uncle Martin.

I'm sure you'll come back again soon.

I hope so.

It's making me nervous. It's been four
days now that I've been looking into a

mirror and nothing looks back.

Perhaps the sunspots will stop soon. As
soon as they do, I'll reappear.

You know something, Uncle Martin?

Right now, I'd rather see you than
Elizabeth Taylor.

I'll guess.

How do you do?

I'm the field representative for the
Southern Mutual Life and Accident

Mrs. Brown wrote a policy on Martin O
'Hara.

Are you Mr. O 'Hara? Oh, well, I'm Tim O
'Hara. Oh, his nephew, the beneficiary.

Well, my name is Stone, William Stone,
and I make a practice of personally

welcoming new policyholders into the
company. Is your uncle home?

Well, yes, he is.

May I see him for a moment?

No, you can't. I mean, no, he isn't.

Home, that is.

Well, is he or is it he?

He isn't.

Do you know where he is? Well, I haven't
seen him for a few days. Is he in town?

Oh, he is. He's in town.

Well, when can I see him? He isn't in
town.

First you say he's home, but he isn't
home. Then he's in town, but he isn't in

town. I just don't understand.

Well, you see, he's out of town. On
business.

Well, that's peculiar.

According to this policy, he's retired.

Oh, well, he's out of town.

Old retirement business.

When do you think he might be back?

Well, he could be back in two or three
minutes.

And then again, I may not see him for
two or three months.

Two or three months.

Or longer. That's possible.

Well, thank you for your time.

You've been most helpful.

I

think he's

suspicious. I know, but what could I do
about it? Yell you who, here I am?

I guess you're right.

Where are you?

Now, let me see how this sounds.

Sir?

May I trouble you for a minute?

The policy you should consider is an
endowment with a clause to convert it to

whole life, unless term insurance is
required to protect the present. And 20

life can be used in conjunction with
future premiums, excluding dividends.

I think that sounds pretty good.

Maybe I can make it a little stronger.

Let's see.

Miss Brown!

Oh, come on in!

I was just practicing my insurance
speech.

Oh, well.

I just thought that I would come by and
drop off the rent. Oh, thank you.

You know, having you and Martin as
tenants is such a pleasure, I almost

take this.

Oh, well, in that case... Oh, well, it's
not that much of a pleasure.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you.

Somebody's coming to see you.

Who? The police.

The police?

Yes, they think you killed your Uncle
Martin. Isn't that ridiculous?

They think what? I told Mr. Stone he was
wrong. You know the man from the

insurance company. But he insisted on
reporting to the police that your Uncle

Martin was missing.

By the way, where is your Uncle Martin?

Away.

You see, I told Mr. Stone he wasn't
missing.

I know you told it to me twice, but make
me happy.

Tell it to me again from the beginning.

Lieutenant Gibson.

The last time I saw my uncle was five
days ago, and he up and left.

He didn't pack, didn't take any
clothing, didn't tell you where he was

when he was coming back, and he hasn't
called.

That's right. He never took off like
this before.

Fella, if I were you, and you were me,
and I told you that cockamamie story,

would you believe me? No.

Dan, it's true.

Now, what have we here?

Looked like a couple of buttons.

Yours? Well, I don't recall ever having
seen them.

Well, of course you do, Tim. They're
from your Uncle Martin's cover -off.

are.

Yes, they are. How observant of you,
Mrs. Brown.

I didn't notice because they were
charcoal broils.

What are they doing in the barbecue?

Who are you, lady?

That's Mrs. Brown, my landlady.

You rent the apartment to Mr. O 'Hara?
Yes, and if he's in any trouble, I'd

to help. Why, he's the nicest tenant I
ever had.

Now, you say these buttons came from
coveralls that belonged to Mr. Martin O

'Hara? I know them like I know my own
name.

Mrs. Brown.

That's her name, all right. Mrs. Brown.

Now, Mrs. Brown, I'd like to talk to you
when I finish with Mr. O 'Hara.

Could you wait around a few minutes,
please?

You and your uncle got along well?

Oh, yes. Yes, as a matter of fact, we
were very close.

Oh, I can vouch for that, why, they were
closer than close.

In fact, it was Tim who insisted that
Martin take out that insurance policy.

Oh, he did?

That's why Martin made Tim the
beneficiary. Now, you know you've got to

to do that.

Now, you say you and your uncle got
along well.

No, uh, disagreements?

No. No fights?

No fights? I'll back him up on that. You
see, I live in the house right in the

front, and they are the nicest, quietest
tenants I ever had, and I can tell you

they never had a single fight.

No arguments?

Never.

Oh, well, just that one time, but, oh,
it wasn't even worth mentioning.

Well, mention it anyway.

When was that? Oh, about four or five
days ago, but, oh, it was nothing,

That was just about the time Martin O
'Hara disappeared.

What were they fighting about? Oh, they
weren't fighting. No, no, Tim was

pleading with Martin to do something or
other. Oh, but I'm sure it was nothing

harmful. In fact, I distinctly heard Tim
assure Martin that it wouldn't kill

him.

Um, Mrs. Brown, please.

Well, I'm just trying to help you. Oh, I
don't need it.

Let her help you. Let her help you.

Initials. T .O.

Yours?

I guess so.

If these stains are blood, they better
be yours, too.

As a matter of fact, that's not my
blood.

Whose blood is it?

Then it was Mr. O 'Hara's idea for his
uncle to take out the insurance.

Well, yes and no.

What do you mean, yes and no?

Well, yes, if I have to tell the truth,
and no, if I don't have to.

You have to?

Yes.

Thank you, Mrs. Brown.

Well, that's another nail in my coffin.

You know, I'm beginning to feel, uh...
Less and less confident about acting as

my own attorney.

Don't worry. With me here, it's the same
as having Clarence Darrow sitting next

to me. Right now, I would trade in one
Clarence Darrow for one live in the

Martian who couldn't talk his way out of
a traffic ticket.

Mr. O 'Hara, I'm trying to conduct a
hearing.

I'm sorry.

Lieutenant Gibson, one of the items in
evidence was a blood -stained

handkerchief. Yes, sir. The police
laboratory checked out the blood type,

definitely was not that of Tim O 'Hara.

Well, I've covered enough of these
things to know I'm really in a lot of

trouble. I've never covered one before,
but I'm prone to agree with you. Please,

Mr. O 'Hara, you'll have ample time to
talk later.

Meanwhile, I will not stand for any
further disturbance.

Sorry.

Better be careful. They'll begin to
wonder about you.

Hey, maybe that's it. Maybe I could
plead insanity.

Tim, this has gone far enough.

I'm afraid I'll have to tell them the
truth.

What? What do you mean, tell them the
truth?

I will not jeopardize your life.

I shall tell them I'm a Martian. You
can't do that. Besides, they wouldn't

believe you.

I'll tell them how I landed here, and
I'll explain how the sunspots have made

invisible. Now, just one second. I'm not
going to let you do that. I mean, I

know how much this means to you, and
besides, this condition is only

Is he off his rocket?

Mr. O 'Hara, will you please stop
talking to yourself?

Oh, yes, I'm sorry.

Gentlemen, there is something you should
know. Gentlemen, there is something

that you should know.

Now, Tim, let me speak. Yes, now, Tim,
let me speak. Speech to speech, I pray

you. Let the words fall... There's no
time for games. I've got to tell the

truth. Yeah, I've got to tell the truth.
The whole truth and nothing but the

truth. Abraham Lincoln said that.

Tim. Abraham Lincoln, yes, one of our
greatest, greatest presidents. He took

this country through perilous times.

but we'd better schedule a psychiatric
examination for him immediately.

Lieutenant Gibson, you'd better take him
into custody.

It's working, Uncle Martin. Now, look,
while they're giving me these tests,

maybe you'll reappear.

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

I know you're innocent, Tim. I just

know it.

Oh, thanks a lot, Mrs. Brown. You
wouldn't hurt your Uncle Martin.

Even if you killed him.

Uncle Martin, am I glad to see you.

Are you his uncle?

Yes, I am. Well, we've been looking for
you for weeks. Where have you been?

On the freeway. You know those traffic
jams.

Mrs. Brown sent this up to welcome us
both back.

What did she conjure up this time?

know, but it sure smells delicious.

There you go.

Mrs. Brown has outdone herself this
time.

Pineapple pickle.

Well, I'll, uh... I'll get you something
else.

What do you want?

Oh, uh, cheese and crackers.

Uncle Martin?

The sunspots. You're gone again.

I dropped my phone.