Original subtitles

The what?

Oh.

Tim, did you see this article in tonight's paper?

In my paper? The Los Angeles Sun? Of course I saw it. I wrote it.

Uncle Martin, could you look at me, or at least could you let me look at you

while we're talking? It's very disconcerting.

Oh, certainly. I'm sorry.

It's more comfortable like this. Like when you come home from work and take

shoes off.

All right, Uncle Martin.

What do you want?

Did you read this article in tonight's paper?

I told you, I wrote it. And it's not an article, it's called a filler.

Well, then would you mind explaining to me, since I don't understand, how a

woman can leave $650 ,000 to a pussycat?

Sure. First she writes a will.

Tim. On Mars, a cat is simply a furry little animal with whiskers that loves

chase mice.

That's exactly what they are here.

Well, then tell me, what a furry little animal with whiskers that loves to chase

mice is going to do with $650 ,000?

Invest in a better mousetrap. I think it's disgraceful. I think it's any

frontery upon humanity.

I think I'm going to go to bed.

How can you sleep with this on your conscience? I didn't leave the money to

cat. But you are a newspaper reporter.

You have a public voice.

You have the power to expose this inanity.

I'm a growing boy. I need my sleep. I'll talk to you about it in the morning.

Good night.

I'm still here.

I'm angry, but I'm still here.

Uncle Martin, look, the lawyer for the firm that handles the affairs for the

is coming over to my office in the morning.

So why don't you just come on in and you talk to him and we'll see what we see.

I knew you would come through.

I knew you were a man of conscience, a man of inflamed indignities. I just want

to get some sleep. And besides, my inflamed indignities were burning me up.

You knew.

You knew that I was going... You knew.

What a Martian knows will never hurt you, Tim.

Assuming he always does the right thing.

Good night, Tim. Sleep well.

Sure. Me and my inflamed indignities.

No, no.

And as guardians of the estate, it is our direct purpose to enforce and

the will of the late Mrs. Willis. But $650 ,000 to a cat?

It is the law and the desire of Mrs. Willis.

In Cleary v. Clooney in Ohio, 1938, the Court of Appeals reversed the decision.

The reversal was obtained on the proof of senility.

Mrs. Willis was of sound mind and body when she made out her wills.

Wills?

Two of them?

I made them both out.

The second one gave the money to the children's orphanage.

Unfortunately, she never signed it.

Or if she did, someone hid it. Now, now, wait a minute.

There were two Wills? Mr. Snow, Mr. White, Mr. Harcourt, Mr. Finster, Mr.

and I, we all read your little filler on the cat in the afternoon edition of

your newspaper.

As his attorneys, I'm here to warn you to desist and subside. Any further

printed matter relative to the affairs and unique position of the cat will

constitute an infringement.

If you print one further word of his story, we will slap both you and your

newspaper with a very heavy lawsuit.

I don't know that you can do that. It's news. And it's been revealed?

Uh -uh.

Further exposure will be regarded as damaging to the exclusive life story of

cat. We anticipate possible sale of the movies.

Gerald Frank might do his biography, and there's the hopeful realization of a TV

series. So, I warn you, you're toying with a lawsuit in the billions.

Bye.

A TV series for a cat.

Well, that's that.

Don't be silly, Tim. Don't you get it? Get what?

He came here to tell us about the other will. He's as enraged about this as we

are. I didn't get that. He wants us to help him. Funny, all I heard him say is

how happy he'd be to sue us.

It would be unethical for him to track it down. Uncle Martin, it would be

unethical for me to involve my newspaper in a billion -dollar lawsuit. Tim, I

read his mind. Uncle Martin, I heard his voice.

Tim. A man named Beanbecker, who is a partner in Snow, White, Harcourt,

and Two, can't be all bad.

He can't be all bad, just a little bit. Now, Uncle Martin, in the past, I have

agreed with you. I have also disagreed with you, and the result has always been

the same.

always do what you want. Well, this time I am an absolute. The answer is no. I

am a definiteness. The answer is absolutely no. I'm staying here right in

chair with my feet firmly planted on the ground.

Thanks for the suggestion.

I'm Mrs. Willis' sister, Aggie.

And this is my husband, Charles.

It's a good thing y 'all got us in because we're getting ready to go to

And if you're going to do a big story on us, you ain't got much time.

Would you like some tea?

No, thank you.

We're flattered that you should want to write about us.

When we saw that little filler in the paper, we thought the cat was going to

all the publicity.

No, I'm sure my readers would like to know about you.

You see, Aggie, I told you we were important.

As trustees for the State of the Cat, we got importance.

Actually, you should put down that I'm power of attorney over the cat.

You are? Sure.

Someone's got to know how to handle his money and to buy it for him.

It's a good deal, ain't it? Yes, it is. Sure.

Why fight it?

Actually, it's my sister, Rosemary, Mrs. Willis.

She told us exactly what to do. After all, it's her money.

And she understood Max better than anyone.

Max? The cat.

When are you leaving for Europe?

Oh, just as soon as we can get the house in order.

Mr. Penny Packer?

Beanbecker. Beanbecker. Mr. Beanbecker, the lawyer, is working on Max's

passport. And in the meantime, I picked up Max a little hot rod to play with.

A what?

Automobile. Eight cylinders, uh, four exhaust sticks here.

He's going to drag race?

It's a very cute car.

Just right for the three of us to ride along through the mountains in Italy and

Lento and Napoli.

And I discussed it with my sister last night.

Last night?

My sister visits me. She talks to me.

She does?

In my sleep.

I hear her just as if she were here.

Well, fine. Your sister talks to you in your sleep? That's right.

What does she say?

how happy she is and how we're to go on doing just what we are doing.

Does she ever mention the other will?

That's Max?

Hey, beloved.

Are those real diamonds in his color?

$10 ,000, boy. I know.

Why fight it? What color is he?

Continental gray.

He used to be black, but I dyed him because he kept walking in front of

Can I get a picture? Of the three of us? Yes, of course.

By the fireplace, possibly? Yes, a nice homie shot.

No, I once made the mistake of telling a cat to watch the birdie. He ate my

flashball. So now I just hissed and purr.

Steady now.

And

he's unhappy,

huh? Max.

Miserable. He's a poor little rich cat. He doesn't want the money. He doesn't

like the hot rod. And he thinks the trip to Europe will make him seasick.

He told you all this?

Well, to quote him directly, he said, Daddy, it's a bad gig.

The whole scene is a put -down.

He's a hep cat.

Hep cat?

Hep is our cake.

Oh, I haven't been down here in a long time.

At first, I thought he was Persian or Tom.

Sometimes they mix Cheshire with a little alley.

Then there's the putty cat.

But this one is hip.

Pure hip.

And he's unhappy.

More than that.

He has something he wants to tell me.

You remember when I brought up the subject about the other will, how he

into the scene and cut me off?

Mm -hmm. What do you think that means?

I don't know. I don't know, but I'll find out this evening. I have an

appointment with him, and we're going to discuss it.

You and the cat.

He told me to be there. He told me to make the scene. He told me, Daddy, drop

my pad after dark. I want to lay some straight on you.

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Of course I know what I'm doing. I get it straight from the cat's mouth.

There is another will.

I figure you know where Aggie and Good Time Charlie hid it.

Well, they must have stashed it.

They're the only ones who would benefit, Daddy.

I thought you were a sincere cat.

You told me this whole gig was the lowest, man.

You were putting me on.

You hid this will.

Oh, Max, how could you?

This second will is a marvelous will.

It leaves all the money to the little children in an orphanage. And, man, they

can use this bread much more than you. Look at this crazy pad you got.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, you're right. You're right. I never realized.

Mrs. Willis made it out, but she never signed it.

I dig.

It would be embarrassing to reveal to the world that she was absent -minded.

The next thing would be they'd start accusing her of being a ding -dong.

Max, I read you, man.

But I can't forge her signature.

No. You hid her will out of respect for her memory. And why?

Because you're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You got like honor.

Man, I got like honor, too.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

But, man, I'm going to do something. There's a will.

There must be a way.

So long, man. I'm going to go. I mean, I'm gone.

Hello?

Do you remember Mr. Beanbecker?

Oh, sure.

Snow, White, Harcourt, Finster, and Toot.

And Beanbecker.

Well, um... What are we doing?

Well, I told you that Mr. Beanbecker was really on our side and needed our help.

As soon as I found the other will, I called him.

Besides being a marvelous lawyer, he's also quite a private eye.

I may just call upon you in some of my divorce cases.

We've been working on every contested will and inheritance trial on record.

Mrs. Willis never signed her second will.

The intent is implied, but not binding.

You see, we thought since she did leave her money to a cat and there was a

second will refuting it, there's no restatement of cause. There's no way for

to reopen a hearing.

What's the matter with me? Why didn't you call on me to help? What am I,

cat liver?

I mean, I didn't have to go on a date.

It's all pertaining to legal matters, Tim. Really. If there was anything at

that you could do.

What about the seances?

No, I... Well, Aggie says she keeps hearing from her sister in her sleep.

Well, isn't that like a seance?

I mean, I've been thinking about that. That's spooky.

I mean, couldn't you use something like that for, well, for charges?

Like they're not really responsible enough to take care of a cat with all

money. They're not seances. She just claims she hears from her sister while

she's sleeping.

I don't think we can show just cause with that. What about a real seance?

What do you mean a real seance? Bring one sister to explain to the other

what the true final desire was.

Talk to her.

I wouldn't know how to go about it. I would. When I was putting myself through

law school, I used to work evenings in a slideshow. You'd be surprised at some

of the things I learned.

A seance?

A real seance? A real seance. What do you think, Tim?

What about punt?

Out of the mouths of babes. And, uh, cats.

Are you sure this is all right?

I'm sure.

Just think how happy your sister will be to talk to you while you're awake.

And you can talk back.

Oh, I wouldn't talk back. I never talk back to my sister.

You must all be very quiet and concentrate.

Are you positive you know what you're doing?

I mean, I don't want to disturb my sister -in -law. She's busy.

There's no problem.

These newspaper people know all about seances.

They do them at their press club all the time.

Now, it's entirely clear as to what we are to do.

Yes.

When my sister arrives, you want me to tell her that your newspaper wants

to purchase the rights of Max's story. And Mr.

Pennypacker... Beanbecker.

Beanbecker. He wants to get her consent.

Right. And it means more money for Max.

Why fight it?

I'm afraid... She's coming. She's actually coming, Agatha. She's coming.

Why is she lifting the table?

Didn't she want to sit up there with her? She allowed to do that.

Rosemary.

Yes, Agatha?

Is it you, Rosemary?

Yes, Agatha.

Who's your friend?

Just a friend. We play canasta together.

How do you feel, Rosemary?

How do you feel, Agatha?

Oh, I'm all right.

And how does Charles feel?

My friend is talking to you.

Oh, me?

I'm fine. I'll be all right.

Hello, Miss Rose.

All right, Agatha.

What seems to be...

Trouble, Rosemary?

Then why did you call us down here?

We were in the middle of a game.

Please don't be mad, Rosemary.

She's too overstrung.

Get out of your business, eh?

This ain't no time for you and Rosie to start your bickering.

Bickering?

Charles, he doesn't mean exactly what he says.

What does he mean, Agatha?

Bickering, that's what I mean. Bickering, it means to... Discuss.

Haven't I always been your devoted younger sister, Rosemary?

Am I not still?

Are you?

Of course I am. What do you mean by asking a thing like that?

Because I've been wondering, Agatha, wondering what's going on down here.

Well, all these people, Mr.

Pennybacker... Beanbacker.

Beanbacker, Mr.

Beanbacker, they all want to buy...

Max's life story.

It's a good deal, Rosemary.

It'll mean a lot more money for Max.

For Max.

You stay out of this here. You're just a friend of the family.

Is that what I wanted, Agatha?

Money for Max?

Well, you left it to him, didn't you?

I made out a second will.

Must be to throw it away.

I did not.

Yes, you did.

Oh, we never could find it.

Don't you think you ought to be getting out of here? You're going to miss your

cloud.

Did you do anything for Rosemary's second will?

Why do you want to accuse me of things like that, Paul?

Well, then, stop whispering to Rosemary's girlfriend.

He didn't do anything to my second will, Agatha.

I made it out.

Max hid it.

Max?

Part two, Rosemary.

You are in my heart.

Why, all the sleepless nights I've had worrying about you.

Then, my dear sister, sleep well and follow your heart.

Rosemary, I'm going to sign Max's money over to an orphanage like you finally

meant to do.

Hey, wait a minute, Aggie.

you'd have to find that second will.

Charles is part of a tourney over Max.

Max is going to wind up in an orphanage where he belongs.

And all that money is going to those poor, deserving children.

Charles and I, we can use our own money to go to Europe.

We don't have to be saddled with any cash.

I don't know. Did you?

Can we do that, what I said?

Well, I'll fight it.

Why did Max hide the second will?

Who knows?

Who knows what works in the hearts and minds of cats?

Sure. He's just a cat. But he will be watched out for, taken care of at the

orphanage. For all his nine lives.

Room and board and boating privileges on the lake.

In case he wants to chase water rats.

Say goodbye to all these nice people.

Meow.

You're welcome.

Count it over how much you sound like a cat.

I find it.

Did he talk?

Did he really talk?

Now, as a man who talks, uh, sounds like a cat.

I'm sure that if he could talk, that's exactly what he would have said.

You see what I mean?

He agrees.

Hobbiton, one of the favorite pastimes of Martians.

Keep it up. That's how you learn.

Well, how about the law? How about the legality of what we did?

100 % legal. It's what Max wants.

It's what Aggie wants.

And it's what Mrs. Willis clearly stated in her last will.

And as far as good time Charlie is concerned, I quote him, why fight it?

Well, it all comes together nice and neat.

Don't bet your new robe. Here you go.

Well, now, do you think Mrs. Willis is going to continue to visit her sister in

her sleep?

Well, her conscience is satisfied.

Conscience? Mm -hmm. Rosemary gave her good advice.

Sleep well and follow your heart.

Rosemary? You gave her the advice?

Yes, I did.

Gee, I'm a smart fella.